Work Text:
"You've reached the Mystery Shack! What can we do for you today?"
"Uh, Soos? You called me first."
"Heh, I know. Just figured you'd like to hear how my salesman voice is coming along. I've been trying to work out this opener where it's like, 'how can I help you today,' but also how can I not help you today because, you know, we're here to befuddle and confuse people as well. I dunno."
"Just keep it simple. Clever catchphrases are fun and all but it's better to sound natural. Sounds good as is."
"Thanks, Mr. Pines!"
"So uh... is that it? Or is there something else you wanted to talk about?"
"Oh yeah, I've also been sent on a mission from Mabel to ask you and Ford a question of high importance. You weren't awake before she had to go to school, and she wants an answer ASAP, so I-"
"Did you just say 'ASAP' out loud?"
"Yeah, well, she wants to know if you and Ford still celebrate Hanukkah. And if so, if you two planned on doing anything for it tonight."
"...shit, that's tonight?"
"Yeah? I'm pretty sure, at least."
"Okay. I uh, completely forgot that that was starting tonight."
"Mr. Pines? Are you okay? You sound a little, I dunno, a little freaked out."
"...yeah. I'm okay. Just, haven't thought to celebrate it in a while, that's all."
"Do you want to celebrate it again? Or not? I dunno, it sounds like you might not be a fan? If that is the case, I get it."
"It's... well, I never really cared for the religious stuff. That made the holidays a little weird sometimes, but I didn't dislike them, I was just... celebrating for a different reason."
"Well, what reason was that?"
"'Cause my family did. And I liked being able to celebrate with them, you know?"
"Yeah. I get that."
"Y'know, if Mabel's celebrating Hanukkah, I might as well. Did she say anything about her plans?"
"She said she and Dipper were thinking of trying to video call you tonight. I didn't quite catch everything she said, but there were sweaters and possible DIY menorahs involved."
"Tell her we're in. Hey, Ford, we're video calling the kids later."
"So that's a yes for both of you?"
"He just gave me a thumbs up, so yes. You can pass that along. And tell her we're gonna finally look through the mysterious box of party supplies she insisted we bring with us."
"Oh good, I know she wanted to make sure you dudes looked through that."
"I'm probably not going full out this time around, but I'll at least hang up a couple decorations or something. And definitely making latkes. Half the reason I bothered with Hanukkah was for the latkes."
"What's a latke?"
"Mabel didn't tell you? Man, you're missing out, you'd like them."
"She might have mentioned them? But she didn't tell me what they are."
"It's basically a pancake but it's made out of potatoes."
"Can't go wrong with a good potato."
"You grate up a bunch of potatoes with some onion, add some eggs and flour, fry 'em up and serve with sour cream. Pretty straightforward. Maybe you should try making them your- Ford, what are you... oh. Oh, you're gonna try and give him wrong information, are you-OW. HEY, Ford gimme the receiver-"
"Mr. Pines? What's going on?"
"Nothing, just Ford having wrong opinio-OW, WATCH IT YOU LITTLE SHIT, let me... I'm talking to Soos, dammit... okay, some people incorrectly think that you put applesauce on latkes- OW, oh fuck off already... okay okay fine, just let me talk to him."
"Uh... you good?"
"We're fine. No seriously, you don't have to worry about us. Just a little friendly rivalry, that's all. Anyway, I should probably get going. See if there's any candles with the party supplies, by any chance."
"Okay. I've already texted Mabel, so she'll probably try to call you dudes in like an hour or so."
"Got it. Talk to you later."
"Bye, dudes!"
"Hey, Soos."
"Happy Hanukkah, dudes! How's it going?"
"Well, we're on the last night and we haven't set anything on fire that isn't supposed to be on fire, so I'd say it's been a success."
"That's good to hear!"
"But I did have to give in and eat my latkes with... ugh, applesauce, only because we had that on the boat and not sour cream."
"Is it actually that bad?"
"Eh, not the worst thing I've had, but I'm making sure we have sour cream on board next Hanukkah. How are things going back at the Shack? Are you decorating for Christmas at all?"
"Oh yeah, me and Abuelita have been doing a little bit of decorating. Mostly just stringing up some lights. Next year I'm gonna see if I can wire up some multicolor lights, put on a little light show or something."
"Heh, I'm sure that'll be great. There should still be a couple boxes of lights in the storage room, but I don't know how many of those still work."
"I found those. Most of them worked... speaking of, though, I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah?"
"Do you, like... actually celebrate Christmas at all? I remember you decorating a little bit whenever December rolled around, but I couldn't tell if you were actually invested in the holiday, or whether the decorations were just for marketing purposes"
"I dunno. I guess I didn't really think about it that much. Mostly just for marketing purposes. I mean, it kind of seems like that's what most of Christmas is, at least outside of the religious stuff."
"Can't really argue with that. Would you consider doing anything for Christmas this year, though?"
"...like I said, the whole point of celebrating holidays for me is getting to celebrate with my family. So uh... you're definitely celebrating, right? You always got really excited around this time of year."
"Yep! Christmas is probably my favorite holiday."
"So count me in, then."
"..."
"Uh, Soos?"
"Oh, heh, sorry. Got uh, a bit of fake snow in my eyes, totally. Honestly, I just wanted to know if I could convince you to listen to any Christmas music. There's this album that I think Dr. Pines would really like. He likes that '70s and '80s synthesizer stuff, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Okay, I'll have to send you this album. It's by this group called Mannheim Steamroller."
"Sounds more like a construction company than a music group."
"Trust me, this stuff is really good. I'll see if I can send you over some downloads somehow."
"All right, we'll give it a listen."
"Thanks, Mr. Pines."
"Hey, Soos! How's your Christmas going?"
"It's going great! We're having Wendy and her family over for dinner. Wanted to give them a change of pace from the usual apocalypse training."
"Yeah, I think we've all had enough of apocalypse stuff. Did you get any good presents?"
"I got a couple new tools to replace some of my really old ones, and an upgraded keyboard. I also got this really cool shirt for one of my favorite animes. Don't tell Wendy I told you this, but she totally broke into the Shack last night to leave it under the tree. About 90% sure she shoplifted it too."
"That's my girl! How'd you know it was her, though?"
"You'll have to work with her on her poker face. Soon as she saw me in the shirt, her whole face just lit up. Seriously though, I wish you could see the look on her face right now. I haven't seen her beaming like this in, like, a while."
"Can't you get a picture on one of your fancy computer phones?"
"Oh yeah, I can do that!"
"Speaking of, I wish you could've seen the look on Ford's face when he was listening to that Mannheim Steamroller stuff for the first time. You were right, he totally loves it."
"Sweet! I'm glad to hear he likes it!"
"He was telling Dipper and Mabel all about the album when they were calling us earlier today. Heh, he even has it going right now. 'Carol of the Bells,' I think."
"Are you dudes getting up to anything today? Besides calling the kids?"
"Ford wants to watch Rudolph in a little bit. Still can't tell if we're hate-watching it or not, but I'm just happy to hang out with him, even if I'm about to hear a lecture. Oh, and I made sugar cookies yesterday."
"Nice. How'd they turn out?"
"Edible. We're making them work. They're better served with hot cocoa."
"Everything's better with hot cocoa! Oh, I forgot, we're also having Lazy Susan and Pacifica over."
"Wow, you've really got a party going, huh?"
"Yep! I think I just heard a knock, so I'm gonna go welcome them in. Sorry to cut this short."
"That's okay, I'm glad I got to talk to ya for a bit."
"Merry Christmas, Stan!"
"Merry Christmas, Soos."