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Marjan couldn’t believe that this was her life.
Here she was, curled up with the perfect man, in a beautiful room and in beautiful clothes, on her wedding night. Joe was running his hand down her arm over and over again, peaceful and present and comfortable, and she was probably as relaxed as she’d ever been.
“I never fully believed I’d have this,” Marjan murmured into the quiet.
“A fairytale ending?”
She smiled.
“Yeah, but. . . more than that,” she settled on eventually. Joe made a questioning noise and she paused, shifting slightly as she decided how best to word it. This was something terrifying, something she’d never told anyone. But she didn’t feel afraid. Joe was warm under her, and he was still rubbing her arm, and it was still quiet and peaceful. She could say it, here, in this bubble of them.
“Logically, I knew it would probably work out,” Marjan began. “But for so long I worried that I’d never be able to find someone to marry and keep my standards.”
She could practically hear his frown, and she smiled just slightly.
“What do you mean?” Joe asked. His thumb ran over her elbow a few times. Marjan sighed.
“I knew he had to be faithful, that was no question,” she continued. He hummed. “He needed to be willing to have chaperones, to court me. And he needed to be okay with my job, as well as being something close to a stay at home dad.”
Her mind went back to all of those dates, most of them. . . not great.
“Beyond that, we had to align personality wise. Finding someone who respected me and agreed with my opinions on my own rights, on gender and sexuality and race. I mean, look at my family at the 126,” she said. There was a light joking tone in her voice, but she knew it was serious.
Joe understood, though. He laughed.
“Not for the faint of heart – a.k.a., the bigots,” he joked back. Marjan returned his laugh, bigger this time.
“Exactly,” she smiled. Then, the more serious mood settled softly back upon her.
“I love my culture,” she said quietly after a few moments. “And it’s so much more than what people think, so much more progressive, but finding all of that in one man?”
Marjan swallowed, remembering how many sleepless nights were filled with those thoughts.
“It’s not easy,” she finished.
Joe hummed again, comforting and quiet. They sat in silence for another several moments. Marjan shook herself mentally and continued.
“My point is,” she said after some time, tone a bit lighter and louder now. “I spent years thinking I might never get to have this. Might never get to have the dream dress, the dream wedding–” she cleared her throat. “The dream man. Yet here I am.”
Marjan smiled. She was actually here. It was almost surreal.
“I didn’t think I’d find a man I could love without losing something.”
Her husband made another quiet noise of understanding, of attention, of love. He paused for a few seconds. It gave them both time to breathe and take in what she had said.
“But you found him,” he responded eventually, and she could see his smile at the top of her vision. She shifted her head and her eyes flicked up to catch his whole face. The soft smile shined in his eyes. Marjan couldn’t help but smile back.
“Yeah,” she said. “I did.”