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Shadow has picked up a tendency to stay up all night reading. Not because he's super into the stories and wants to finish them as quickly as possible, but because he can't stand going to sleep anymore.
Ever since he was caught by Tom in the middle of the night and pulled into bed with him and Maddie, he hasn't allowed himself to repeat this action out of guilt for bothering them. The same goes for Sonic despite the hedgehog's reminders that he's there if he needs him. Shadow doesn't need anyone - he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Yet, he still can't figure out how to shake the nightmares away so he can sleep.
Over the last month, he's been to the library constantly with Maddie to find more reading material, dodging her remarks on how he's finishing these books so fast given he moved up a few 'grades' and started reading longer less picture-y books. He's consumed an unnaturally large amount of literature to the point where his new parents - can he call them that? - are concerned. He's not sure how long he can hold up the "I read really fast" excuse given he doesn't read fast when around them.
It's nearly three a.m. and he's buried under his comforter with a flashlight in hand and his newest book open on his mattress. Lying on his stomach, his quills do a great job of keeping his blanket off the book completely so he can read in peace. The only issue is the words keep blurring together and he has to reread the same page for the third time. He rubs his face with a small sigh, a yawn threatening to slip out yet again. He's exhausted, sure, but what else can he do? He can barely sleep for more than four hours before he's awoken by his haunting memories.
He once again attempts to focus on the page - he wants to uncover the truth about these clay dragons, too! Well, sort of. He's already certain what the twist will be, but this is only the first book of a seven-book series. He plans on finishing them all by the end of the week. However, his attempt is interrupted when the blanket is snatched from his head. He drops his flashlight in surprise and finds Knuckles standing over him, the echidna staring down at him with sleepy narrowed eyes. "Hedgehog, you should be sleeping."
"Why aren't you?" Shadow bites back childishly.
"I awoke to use the restroom, but I noticed a light under your sheet of fur," Knuckles says quietly, setting the blanket back down and crossing his arms. "Do you do this every night? It would explain how tired you always appear."
Shadow scowls and sits up on his knees, clicking the flashlight off before it can wake up the other two. "What's it to you?"
Knuckles sighs tiredly. "Hedgehog, I had to learn as well that there are rules. Bedtime is one of those rules, and mother will be angry if she finds out you don't adhere to bedtime."
"What can she do?" Shadow taunts, ignoring the uneasy squeeze to his gut. "I'm the ultimate lifeform. I can do whatever I want." Knuckles continues to give him a blank stare, waiting patiently as the unease in Shadow's gut grows to the point he finally looks away with a huff. "Okay, maybe not whatever I want in her house…"
With a grunt, Knuckles sets Shadow's book aside and sits down next to him. "I struggled here at first. Being the last of my race, I never had a home. My mission was too important for that, and it affected how I handled living here." He smiles in amusement, looking up at the ceiling as he recounts a memory. "I once built an iron throne since - in my culture - the champion of the family is given the seat as a way to show their status. I even built a warrior fighting pit in the living room so we could challenge one another for the throne."
Shadow frowns, tilting his head. "Sounds barbaric."
Knuckles snorts. "I suppose to you, it would be. However, I had not considered the fact that I do not own this home, but our parents do. If Maddie and Tom say no iron throne and no warrior fighting pit, then that will be so. They set the rules and we must follow them."
"But what about your customs?" Shadow asks.
"Oh, we compromised by building a warrior fighting pit near the mountains," Knuckles grins. "Sometimes, I will be challenged by those two, but the iron throne is still mine."
Shadow's lips twitch, shaking his head. "I'm sure I could take it from you."
Knuckles shoots him a wider grin, eyes narrowing playfully. "I'll be prepared for your tricks this time, hedgehog. It won't be so easy."
"I'm shaking already," Shadow says dryly, leaning against his hand with another yawn.
Knuckles' eyes soften, reaching over to pat his shoulder. "It's late. You should sleep now."
Shadow sighs, shaking his head. "I can't." At Knuckles' questioning stare, he looks away. "Every time I try, I just see her… Maria and… I had to watch it over and over again for fifty years. I can't anymore…"
"You're hurting," Knuckles says softly, squeezing his shoulder. "I sometimes dream of my father's death. It's hard, but-"
"Yeah, sometimes," Shadow sneers bitterly. "I dream of her every night."
Knuckles looks pained by this knowledge and he frowns for a few moments, seemingly trying to think of a solution. "What of the nights you slept in Sonic's bed?"
Shadow flushes a bit and huffs. "Well- no, I guess I slept fine…"
"Then you shall sleep with me tonight," Knuckles declares, nodding curtly while Shadow shoots him a bewildered look. "I will be back. Go ahead and move what you desire to my bed." Shadow can't even protest before Knuckles is out of the attic. He groans in dismay, already feeling that ache of guilt building up again. He's not some child! He doesn't need to be coddled every night because of such a little thing.
Yet, he still gathers up his bunny plush and crawls into Knuckles' bed to wait. He looks over at Sonic next to him, finding him still fast asleep with his ears and eyelids twitching from a dream. Shadow sags in defeat, wondering what good dreams are like. Tails seems to be in a similar situation with his little snores buried into one of his tails. When Knuckles returns, Sonic snorts softly and rolls over, still asleep.
"Let us sleep," Knuckles hums, settling in next to Shadow. With them side by side, it's a very tight fit and Shadow considers going back to his own bed. He does not expect Knuckles to casually wrap his arms around him and pull him flush against him. Shadow goes to protest but Knuckles simply buries his nose into the top of his quills and promptly falls back asleep. How he can fall asleep so fast, Shadow can't figure out. His own muzzle nuzzles against Knuckles' chest, his ears flattening for a moment in humiliation before it's quickly swept over by exhaustion.
Hesitantly, he rests one arm over Knuckles' side while his other hand keeps ahold of his plushies, sinking into their shared warmth as if it were a blanket. Pushing away his shame and guilt for now, he finally lets himself fall asleep.
Ever since that night, Knuckles makes a point to offer Shadow to come sleep with him. Sonic quickly picks up on it and does the same while Tails shyly offers to come sleep in his bed instead given his plane bed is just too small for two people. Shadow rejects every single offer and continues to pretend he's just fine. With six hours of sleep under his belt now, he can last at least another week before this becomes a problem again.
Which does become a problem.
He's sluggishly kicking off his shoes at the front door with Tails after the two were called in for dinner. They had been playing outside and got mud all over their shoes. Tails warned him Maddie would get really upset if they tracked mud, so off the shoes went.
Tails skitters after Sonic while Shadow takes in the kitchen. The lights are blurring together and he shakes his head quickly, following after the fox. "Here, let's set the table," Tails says, grabbing the utensils with Sonic and rushing after him for the table. Shadow looks up at the counter to find the stack of plates waiting and picks them up to do the same as the boys.
Colors, however, are starting to swirl together and his legs feel shaky. The lights are starting to hurt his eyes and his ears flatten at the dull headache that's been pumping behind his eyes for days now. He takes a step closer to the table and sways, not realizing his grip on the stack of plates is slipping before the shatter of glass jolts him out of his dizzy state. He looks down in surprise to find the plates broken around his feet, shards of glass scattered all over the floor.
"Hold on, hold on!" Tom's voice filters through just as Shadow reflexively starts to take a step back, squeaking when hands sweep under his arms and lift him into the air. His arms quickly wrap around Tom's neck and he peers down at the mess below them. Tom is still wearing his shoes, allowing him to step over the mess without worry. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are perched on their chairs away from the glass, eyes wide and glowing with concern.
"What happened?" Maddie gasps, keeping a safe distance given her lack of shoes.
"Just an accident," Tom answers, propping one arm under Shadow so he can rest him against his hip. Shadow blinks in confusion when Tom doesn't immediately put him down, listening to Tom ask Maddie for the broom. He didn't realize how warm the humans were despite their lack of fur. He assumed the night he slept in their bed it was warm because all three of them were pressed together. That uncomfortable itch that's been under his skin since he got here is ebbing away, finding comfort in being held like this. He's not sure how to feel now. He's been wanting this for so long and now he feels frozen.
Before his brain can finally process the feeling, Tom is sitting him down in his chair at the table. Shadow swallows down whatever embarrassing noise his body tried to make and watches as Tom starts sweeping up the glass. "I'm sorry," he finally choked out, his ears still flat against his head.
"Oh, it's no biggie," Tom chuckles, shooting him a smile. "Accidents happen. Are you hurt?" Shadow blinks in confusion and Tails gestures to his feet. Shadow checks and when he finds no glass, he shakes his head. "Then it's all good," Tom nods, going back to the task at hand.
Once everything is cleaned up, Maddie brings over a new set of plates to pass out. Sonic leans over to whisper, "You okay?" Shadow nods curtly and carefully takes his offered plate. Maddie smoothes a hand over the top of his quills and shoots him a reassuring smile as if to tell him he's not in trouble. Shadow can't quite grasp why he's not in trouble for breaking so many of their things, but he stays quiet as Tom finishes cleaning up and everyone starts loading their plates up with food.
Luckily, no one talks about it and instead steers the conversations to light-hearted topics. Shadow keeps to himself as usual and forces himself to eat to not cause any more worry. When dinner finally ends, he follows the boys back into the living room where Sonic and Knuckles bicker over what movie they should watch. Shadow goes to take his usual perch on the other couch when Tails grabs his hand and leads him to the main couch. Shadow keeps his protests to himself and sits down awkwardly next to the fox.
Eventually, the two boys agree on a movie and the humans finally join them with two bowls of popcorn. Shadow moves to go back to his usual spot but Tom is already sitting down next to him and is handed one of the bowls. Shadow's nose twitches and he realizes how much he used to love popcorn. He's been avoiding it this whole time due to painful memories but his stomach - despite having a full dinner - growls hungrily for the buttery snack.
Sonic squeezes in on Tom's other side and snatches a handful of popcorn. Maddie settles down at the other end of the couch and grunts when Knuckles crawls onto her lap, clearly in the mood for cuddles tonight. Shadow holds onto the bowl tightly with a grimace, unable to figure out if he's uncomfortable or not. Tom circles an arm around Sonic and pulls him close, his other arm resting on the couchrest behind Shadow's head. Tails snuggles close to Shadow's side and the tension in his body starts to dissipate. As the movie starts, he finally allows himself to take a bite of the popcorn.
Halfway through the movie, both bowls of popcorn have been emptied and Shadow finds himself nuzzled up into Tom's side just like Sonic. Tails and Knuckles had moved to the floor earlier to get closer to the screen, entranced by the movie. Maddie is settled in close behind Sonic, combing her fingers through his quills idly. Shadow can hear Sonic purring softly at her touch.
His lack of sleep is hitting him full force once more and his eyes won't stop drooping. Tom's arm - which had been resting over his back - shifts and he feels his fingers start to card through his quills as well. Shadow can't stop his own purr from slipping out, too tired to hide his content. Tom shifts again and Shadow blinks his eyes open when Tom leans down to whisper, "Get some sleep, buddy. We're right here."
Shadow wonders briefly if Knuckles or Sonic said anything to the humans, but he's exhausted and he's comfortable. He doesn't bother resisting the pull of sleep and buries his nose into Tom's shirt, curling up into a little ball and feeling everything drift away.
He's shaken awake when the movie ends by Sonic, blinking blearily up at him to find Sonic in a much similar state. He rubs his eyes sleepily and gives Shadow a small smile. "Bedtime, Shads."
Shadow grunts softly and sits up, his body still heavy with sleep. In front of him, Maddie lifts Tails off of the ground and into her arms, the fox dead asleep against her shoulder. Knuckles follows after her with a long yawn, stretching his arms over his head. Tom comes back into the living room and switches off the TV. "Alright, boys, come on." Sonic moves for the stairs but Shadow stays put, his brain struggling to understand what Tom just said. When it finally clicks, he realizes the man is looking down at him worriedly. "You okay?" Shadow blinks slowly and finally lifts his arms, recalling Sonic doing that during a few movie nights. Tom looks surprised but he just smiles and leans down to pick Shadow up off of the couch. "I gotcha, buddy. Let's get you boys to bed."
Sonic hums happily and follows behind Tom, beaming up at Shadow. His chin is hooked over Tom's shoulder, arms lazily wrapped around his neck and eyes barely open. When they reach the attic, he lets out a small noise when Tom tries to lay him down, unwilling to let go of the comforting warmth just yet. Tom chuckles softly, petting his back gently. "You gotta go to bed, Shadow. Come on…" Shadow shakes his head stubbornly. "Why not?"
"I don' wan' bad dreams…" Shadow mumbles, his exhaustion finally pushing the truth out. While Tom is already fully aware Shadow has nightmares, Shadow has never been honest about how often he has them. He's so tired but he doesn't want to hear her screams anymore. He just wants to sleep.
"Ah," Tom sighs, pausing in his efforts to get Shadow to let go. After a few moments, he walks away from Shadow's bed and he lifts his head to find Maddie next to them. "Boys, you guys wanna have a sleepover tonight?"
"Heck yeah!" Sonic says excitedly, zipping around the two adults briefly before a yawn interrupts him. Knuckles grunts in agreement and Maddie quickly picks Tails back up from his bed, shooting Tom an amused smile as they head back out of the attic. Shadow purrs softly at the change in plans, peering down at Sonic as he waddles behind them.
The humans' bed is massive and they all easily fit together. Tom finally convinces Shadow to let go and he disappears briefly to change. Shadow blinks sleepily at the others as they all settle on the bed. Tails is still asleep at Knuckles' side, curling up against him with a soft chirp. Sonic stretches his arms out before shifting closer to Shadow, curling around him with a purr. Shadow snuggles against him without missing a beat. When their adults - parents? - come back dressed in their PJs, they spread a few blankets over the boys before crawling into their spots. Sonic murmurs a soft 'good night' against his ear and Shadow purrs in response.
"Now, Shadow, you've been living here long enough to understand there are rules," Maddie says as she brushes through Shadow's quills the next night.
"I've heard," Shadow mumbles, looking up from his reading.
Maddie hums softly. "You've been doing very good, but I did hear from Knuckles what you've been up to lately." Shadow grimaces and she plucks a few loose quills away. "Listen, you're not in trouble, but it's clear your lack of sleep is starting to affect you no matter how ultimate of a lifeform you are."
"It's not that bad," Shadow protests but it sounds weak even to him.
Maddie chuckles. "Sweetie, you broke half of my plates because you were so tired." Shadow's shoulders hunch up and she sets her brush aside to rub the tension away. "It's okay, it's not a big deal. However, this whole staying up all night reading instead of sleeping has got to stop. Bedtime is at ten and that applies to you."
"I know," he sighs, ears flattening. At her encouraging pat, he turns around to face her and doesn't protest when she pulls him into a quick hug. When she releases him, he sighs again and meets her gaze. "It's just… hard reliving that moment every night. I had to for fifty years and… it's just-"
"I know, sweetie," Maddie murmurs, cupping his muzzle. Her thumbs smooth under his eyes and he leans into her touch. "One day, they will go away. Talking about them and accepting what happened is the first step to healing, not to mention you're not alone." The ache in Shadow's chest releases at her words, his ears perking up a little at the last part. She smiles and leans closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Whenever you have bad dreams, you can always come to us. It doesn't matter what time it is - we will be there, okay?"
Shadow nods slowly in understanding. "Okay…"
As he had predicted when Tom tucked him into bed, Shadow sits up sharply with a gasp and nearly tumbles out of bed from the memory of them running from bullets still fresh in his mind. Without thinking too much about it, he zips out of the realm only to reappear at the foot of Maddie and Tom's bed. The zapping noise that follows his teleporting has them jerking awake in sleepy confusion. Tom is the first to notice him and he rubs his face, frowning over at him as he sits up. "Shadow? You okay?"
He can still hear the soldiers yelling and Maria's panicked voice and the explosion and her gasping breaths and the professor's crying-
His ears flatten in an attempt to drown them out. He's so exhausted and just tired of reliving those horrible moments. A choked noise erupts from his chest and his eyes feel warm and wet and he can't stop the whimper that slips free. Almost immediately, Tom is out of bed and kneeling at his side, arms circling his smaller body with a comforting hush. "Hey, hey, it's okay… let it out, buddy…"
Shadow has only ever cried once in his life and that was when he realized Maria was gone for good. He hates feeling like this, but the frustration and grief is too much. He just wants to sleep.
He doesn't realize he's clinging onto Tom until the man lifts him off the ground and carries him back to bed. He looks up when Maddie sits back down as well with a glass of water in hand. He didn't even notice she left. Sniffling, Shadow accepts the glass and downs the drink in seconds, feeling as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders just from a minute of crying. "Do you want to talk about it?" Maddie murmurs, rubbing away a few stray tears with her thumb. Shadow shakes his head quickly and she nods, hushing him gently. "Okay, that's fine. Do you want to sleep here then?"
"Please…" Shadow mumbles, leaning closer so he can wrap his arms around her midsection. She gently shifts them so they can lay back down, holding Shadow comfortingly. Just like the first time Shadow stayed with them, Tom settles behind him and drapes an arm over him and Maddie.
Their breathing and heartbeats soothe him yet again and he buries his face into Maddie's chest, his body still trembling from his earlier crying. Tom murmurs something comforting against his ear and Maddie rubs his back gently. He's reminded of the nights he was able to fall asleep in Maria's fort cuddled up in her arms dreaming of life outside the lab. The memories make him wince and a comforting hand smooths over his quills in response.
It takes several minutes for his trembling to stop, his ears no longer flattened, and his grip on Maddie looser. On the edge of sleep, he realizes Maddie's breathing slowed back down to show she's fallen back asleep. A sleepy chirp escapes him and he peers back to find Tom still awake. The man's eyes peek open and he smiles gently down at him, rubbing his arm again. "Get some sleep, buddy. 'M right here."
As if he flipped a switch, Shadow closes his eyes and does as he's told.
"This is awesome!" Sonic laughs as he jumps on the brand new queen-sized bed Tom put together in the attic, jumping over Tails and practically landing on his face in the process. Their old beds are lined up against the opposite wall - still there in case they need space for themselves. Knuckles bats Sonic away so he can continue fixing up the pillows, growling when Sonic sticks his tongue out in response. Shadow sits with his legs crossed on one corner, watching the boys bounce around as they arrange their own pillows and blankets around the huge mattress. Tails complains about Sonic disrupting his arrangement of squish mellows. Shadow's lips twitch in amusement, fiddling with his own plushie and still unsure about this new arrangement.
After his breakdown last night, Tom and Maddie talked with the other boys and seemed to figure out Shadow hardly has trouble sleeping if someone is close by. With their agreement, their parents went out and bought a new bed for the four of them to share. Shadow wasn't too outwardly thrilled about it but he didn't dare protest.
"Come, hedgehog," Knuckles grunts as he shoves Sonic aside, making the blue blur laugh as he flops onto his stomach. Shadow's ears perk up when he realizes Knuckles is talking to him. He shuffles away from his corner and sits next to Knuckles near the head of the bed just as Tom and Maddie enter the room.
They cycle through all the 'good nights' and hugs and forehead kisses before the lights are off and they're gone again. Tails hisses at Sonic and crawls behind Shadow, glaring past him at Sonic who's still snickering and bouncing around. Shadow has no idea where he got all this energy. Knuckles growls and suddenly tackles Sonic, resulting in the two rolling around and delivering playful punches and bites. Shadow looks at Tails in amusement. "I feel this bed arrangement was a horrible idea."
Tails shrugs, a smile tugging at his lips. "Once they settle down, it'll be great. Sleeping around others always makes me happy."
"Are you always this positive?" Shadow snorts dryly.
"No, but I like to try," Tails hums, nuzzling Shadow's shoulder briefly before he scrambles to grab his favorite pillow. In front of them, Knuckles finally crawls off of Sonic who tapped out of their game of wrestle, leaving him panting and giggling but at least he's not bouncing around anymore.
"Alright, alright, I'll sleep now," Sonic says, tilting his head to look at the other three. When his eyes zero in on Shadow, the black hedgehog feels unease trickle into his gut. Before he knows it, he's wrestling with the other hedgehog in an attempt to get out of the forced cuddling Sonic decided to inflict on him. If this were an actual fight, Shadow would pummel him to the ground and not think twice about it, but he just grumbles under his breath as Sonic splays over his back. Sonic snickers against his ear and drags him to the middle of the bed. "Come on, hot topic! You should be sleeping by now!"
"Don't act like it's not your fault we're not," Shadow sneers, batting him away.
"What's the point of being a kid if we're not trying to stay up late?" Sonic teases, plopping down on top of Tails' stomach. The fox yips in surprise and pushes him off.
Shadow's ear twitches, frowning at his words. Tom sometimes referred to them as kids even though Shadow didn't agree with the title. Hearing Sonic call themselves a kid was… He's not sure, actually. Are they kids? What even is considered a kid when it comes to their species? Is Shadow even a mobian at all? He came from a meteor. Does he even have parents? Where did he come from?
He's shaken from his thoughts by Sonic pulling him down to his side. Knuckles is already snoring, his arm locked around Tails' shoulders in a near headlock. Tails, at least, doesn't seem bothered by this and happily squeezes his favorite squish mellow to his chest. Shadow frowns at Sonic who just grins happily in return. "I can hear you thinking. No more of that."
"That's literally impossible," Shadow growls.
"Shh," Sonic giggles, pulling Shadow down so his muzzle is buried against his chest. Shadow props his chin up so he can meet Sonic's eyes, a little flustered at how easy it is for the other to be so affectionate with him. "No more thinking," Sonic murmurs, one hand settling behind Shadow's head briefly before trailing up to scratch behind his ear. Shadow's eyes flutter, leaning into his touch as Sonic smiles. "I know it's hard living with those memories, but it gets better," he continues. "I'm glad you… trust us enough to help you through them."
Shadow's eyes slip open, finding Sonic staring at him with so much care and trust in his eyes. When they had fought with the emeralds running through their systems, Shadow was certain it would be his final fight after he pushed Sonic too hard. On the moon, pinned between rock and a glowing fist, he had been ready to die.
"Thank you for giving me a chance," Shadow finds himself whispering, his ear twitching against Sonic's touch. Sonic looks surprised for a moment and Shadow looks away. "I know I don't deserve everything your family has done for me-"
"Hey," Sonic interrupts softly, gently pulling Shadow back to face him, "they're your family now, too." Shadow's eyes widen slightly. Were they really? The guilt still weighs heavy over his heart and Shadow's not sure it'll ever go away. Sonic smiles and cups his face, squishing his cheeks and nearly wiggling their noses together. "You deserve to be happy, too. You also deserve to sleep peacefully. So no more brooding, okay?"
Shadow grumbles at the action and bats his hands away. They glance over at the other two boys to find them fast asleep and Shadow finds himself yawning. Sonic chuckles and rolls them over, holding Shadow from behind. Warmth spreads through his body and Shadow purrs softly at the comfort the other provides. Sonic purrs as well, chest rumbling against his spine.
Shadow's not entirely sure how he feels or if he fully believes he deserves this family that he's a part of now, but maybe he will after finally getting a good night's sleep.