Chapter Text
The first time they meet, Shadow doesn’t give him much regard.
The loss of Maria was still fresh, after all. All he could focus on was the pain in his chest, and in his heart. How it was too difficult to breathe, and how the world felt numb and looked dull and lifeless. All he could hear was Maria’s cries, all he could feel was her hurt. And all he could think about was how much he wanted to destroy everyone for taking her away from him.
The blue hedgehog — Sonic — in front of him was insignificant when his goal was among the stars.
Manipulating Robotnik was hilariously easy, all he had to do was convince the man that it was all his idea in the first place. It was easy to whisper an idea in his ear, and watch as he did the dirty work for him.
Meanwhile, Shadow stood at the sidelines, and he wondered if maybe, after all of this was over, he would be given the opportunity to stand at Maria’s side once more.
(He doesn’t.)
Shadow was built to be the ultimate life form. He could not get sick, he had accelerated healing, and most importantly, he did not age.
It was a bittersweet aspect of his existence. He had been built to take care of Maria — to possibly cure her, maybe — but at some point, one way or another, through sickness or old age, Shadow would inevitably end up alone.
“That’s okay.” Maria said, once, staring at the large, blue planet looming ahead of them. “When we go back to Earth, we’ll find others just like you. And you can be friends with them.”
“I don’t need other friends.” Shadow had replied, confused. “I have you.”
Maria simply smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. “I’m not always going to be here, Shadow. And it makes me sad to think of you being alone.”
“Where are you going?” He asked, resting his head on her shoulder. “Can’t I come with you?”
“Not where I’m going.” Maria’s voice rumbled against his cheek. “But we’ll see each other again, I think. It just might take a little while.”
“Oh.” He had said simply, still confused. “As long as we can see each other again, then that’s fine. I’ll find other friends, if that’s the case.”
Realising that he was wrong about wanting revenge hurt. Staring at the destruction in front of him, his throat tightened at the thought of Maria’s face, his heart mourned and cried when he remembered her last request for him to protect the Earth.
He had failed Maria, and that was his worst nightmare come to fruition.
The first time he sees Sonic, all aspects of him, the good and bad, they are facing the biolizard together.
The chaos emeralds surround them, and all he could feel was the buzzing of their power, using him and Sonic as a conduit. When he makes eye contact with the hedgehog, Shadow could see the emotions running rampant in his bright green eyes. Fear, excitement, anger, surprise.
In the back of his mind, he realises that Sonic was just a kid, too. But at least Shadow had the chance to live a life before this one. Everyone he knew and loved was gone, and there was nothing left for him here.
So the fight passes in a blur, and when he finds himself alongside Sonic, holding back a destructive laser beam, he pushes Sonic out of the way.
(One of them had a family to go back to.)
Falling into Earth’s atmosphere, Shadow closed his eyes. If this was his end, he hoped Maria saw him, that she was watching and cheering him on. He hoped that when he woke up again, it would be to Maria and Gerald welcoming him home with open arms, and all would be alright once more.
(Subconsciously, he hoped he wouldn’t wake up this time.)
He does.
When he wakes up, he’s lying in a field of grass. It’s quiet around him, only the sounds of birds chirping and grass rustling filled his ears.
For as long as he could remember, he had never felt anything this quiet. On the Ark, there was always the rumbling of machinery under his feet, and the muttering of scientists as they tried to invent the next newest invention. Even the days with Maria was filled with conversations, and laughing, and storytelling.
After Maria, it was planning with Robotnik, and sharing passive aggressive remarks with Sonic and his team. It was loud in his ears, with blood rushing through them and the sound of his heart echoing in his chest as the days blurred together and all he could focus on was vengeance.
He stays lying down on the grass, and closes his eyes.
He likes the quiet, he thinks. He likes it very much.
He watches Sonic from a distance. He sees him on the big screens in Tokyo and New York. He sees newspaper clippings in smaller towns as he passes them by.
Sonic saves us again! They write. Sonic to make a speech at the United Nations Conference!
Slowly but surely, Shadow makes a collection in his little cave that he had turned into a home. The newspapers tell a narrative:
Wachowski family finalises adoption.
Tails graduates from MIT.
Sonic saves the world! (Again!)
He watches Sonic’s interviews — seeing the light in his emerald eyes as he gestures excitedly at whatever he’s talking about, watches his wide grin while he plays baseball, frowns alongside him when Robotnik makes another appearance.
If he closes his eyes, he can remember how it felt to have the chaos emeralds’ magic course through them, connecting them in a way he never thought possible. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine that smile being directed at him, an arm being thrown around his shoulder, that voice speaking to him instead of a camera.
When he opens his eyes, he’s back in the cave, staring blankly at the wall with newspaper clippings haphazardly taped onto the stone.
(It feels empty.)
(He feels empty.)
It ends on a Tuesday morning.
It’s been a long time since Shadow was presumed dead. He knows because every year, Sonic insists on having a memorial for him. Every year, he stands in front of a crowd and talks about how heroic Shadow was, how he saved the world at the cost of his own life, how Sonic couldn’t have done it without him.
(He doesn’t understand. He’s worth nothing. Why does Sonic keep on making him look like the hero?)
(He loves it. Loves having Sonic’s attention, loves knowing that Sonic thinks about him and insists on celebrating him every year.)
(Sometimes, he wants to tell Sonic that he’s alive. He wants to be a part of his world, a sidekick, a friend. He wants everything.)
When he wakes up that Tuesday morning, he decides he wants to go on a run.
So he does.
The world blurs by as his senses reduce to the wind in his quills, and the slight ache in his muscles. It’s been a long time since they fought the biolizard, and Shadow hasn’t aged a day.
He finds himself in New York City, a place he’s frequented enough in the last couple of decades. He knows where to go to avoid the crowds, sticks to the darker alleys so he doesn’t get seen. He also knows the perfect spot on top of a building, where he can watch the bustling crowds beneath him and see the clear, blue sky above him.
The sun is still low on the horizon, making its ascent slowly.
That’s when he sees it, an electronic billboard in Times Square.
Sonic the Hedgehog dead at 89.
‘Oh.’ He thinks, his hands going numb and the cold, morning air suddenly freezing his face. ‘Oh.’
It’s been a long time since they had fought the biolizard and Shadow had attempted to give up his life in exchange for the worlds. In that time, Shadow has hurt, healed, been hurt again, and yet, he has not aged a day.
Sonic has.
Shadow watched him grow old, retire from heroics, rest in a small cottage in the forest. All behind a screen and newspaper clippings taped against the stone wall of a cave.
It was inevitable, that Shadow would end up alone. He just didn’t think it would happen so soon.
He sat on the rooftop for a long time, staring at nothing and everything at the same time. He wished he could have spoken to Sonic at least one last time, told him “thank you” and “I’m sorry” and “ha! I’ve actually been alive this whole time, hedgehog.”
(This was the end of their first life.)