Chapter Text
It’s still incredibly warm for the end of August. You grimace as a drop of sweat slides down the small of your back as you carry the last box from Caleb’s car into building about to become your new home. This will be your first time living alone. A new area of the city, a new batch of people, and a new era of your life. You were ecstatic when you were accepted into the Deepspace Hunter Academy, practically bouncing around the house as Caleb and Grandma chuckled and watched fondly. Caleb had already been at Skyhaven university for a few years, flying the nest and leaving you behind. And now it’s your turn to taste the freedom of your first apartment.
The elevator doors open and you stumble out, fingers slipping on the cardboard of the box. Caleb is right in front of you to catch it before it falls completely, lifting the box as though it weighs nothing.
“I literally had it!”
You grumble behind him as he carries it into the empty room, whistling a tune.
“Sure you did, Pipsqueak.”
He humours you good naturedly, carefully lowering the box to the floor. You couldn’t help but notice the way the muscles on his back flexed, fully visible through his white shirt, as he rearranged the boxes. What kind of training were they doing at that university? Every time you see him, he’s bigger and…broader.
“Is that the last of them?”
Caleb asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. You nod, avoiding his eyes, face heating up in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature. It was impossible not to notice the way he’d changed. His voice was deeper, he was so much taller. You know for a fact he’s popular with girls at university and you can see why.
“I could’ve done this myself, by the way. I don’t need you constantly mothering me anymore.”
You pout, arms folded across your chest. The embarrassment at being caught ogling your brother manifesting in a sharp tongue and grumpy tone. But he’s not really your brother, a twisted part of you whispers. You might have grown up together but you’re not family, not by blood. He’s more like a childhood friend, surely? And childhood friends can see each other however they want. It’s a back and forth you’ve had multiple times in your head and you fight down a deep sigh as Caleb reaches out to ruffle your hair. You try to dart out the way but he catches you easily.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Pipsqueak, you’re always gonna need me.” He chuckles as you squirm to get out of his grip. “Now, let's set up your new apartment.”
He heads back to the elevator so he can go lock his car, and you’re left standing in the bare living room of your new place trying to fix the mess he made of your hair.
Every time Caleb comes back for a visit, he always sticks to you like glue. No matter how much you pretend to be annoyed by it, you can’t help the warm feeling inside your stomach. He’s your closest friend and he’s never shy about showing his affection, although it does spill over into overprotectiveness sometimes. And you like that you can be so carefree and open with each other, you really do, but…
You sigh softly and shake your head. Does he realise that he’s now a man, and you’re now a woman? Caleb has always been touchy with you, but the last few years have been…different. It’s like he’s staking his claim on you with the way he winds a possessive hand around your waist when you’re out together, staring down the other men whose eyes even flicker to you when he thinks you’re not looking. He says it’s to protect you - to ward off men with bad intentions, but you see the self satisfied smirk on his handsome face every time people mistake you for a couple. The way he’ll help you pick out your outfits and allow his knuckles to ghost over the nape of your neck when he zips the clothing up for you.
‘There’s no way he doesn’t realise that the way he acts is more like a boyfriend, not a brother.’ You think, sourly. Maybe he does notice, but he’s just blind to exactly how much it affects you. You bend down to read your haphazard writing on the box closest to you and huff out a sigh. Picking up the box cutter from the floor you begin to slice through the brown tape sealing the cardboard shut.
“It’s not my fault I’m confused…” You whisper to yourself.
Caleb is soon striding back through your front door again, closing it behind him and turning to regard you on the floor. He claps his hands together,
“Alright, I’ll get started on building your furniture but your bed is definitely gonna be a two person job.”
You nod without looking up at him, busy rummaging through the box labelled “kitchen.”
He’s supposed to know you best, but he seems oblivious to your turmoil. Oblivious also, to the way his arms flex as he starts arranging the wooden slabs of what was about to be your dressing table. You occupy yourself with unpacking the boxes of kitchen utensils, filling your new cabinets with pots and pans and placing cutlery in drawers. Caleb sets up his small speaker on the floor for some background music while you work, and you lose track of time completely as you fall into your regular rhythm of banter and chatter. Before long, it’s time to break for lunch, the living room and kitchen area looking much more habitable. You stand up from where you were sitting on the floor to break down the boxes and stretch your arms up to the ceiling. As you arch your back, it makes a satisfying pop and you let out a pleased hum at the feeling. Arms still outstretched and feeling sated, you glance over at Caleb to ask what he wants to order for lunch but the words die immediately on your lips.
Caleb’s eyes, smouldering violet, are trained intently on the way your chest strains against the material of your shirt. Your breath hitches in your throat. You drop your arms dumbly down by your sides and barely catch the flicker of his gaze down to the sliver of skin that was revealed by your shirt riding up. As you tug the material back down, heart pounding in your chest, Caleb blinks and the predatory look is gone.
“Hm?”
He asks, cocking his head to the side. As though nothing out of the ordinary had happened, as though you weren’t suddenly feeling like his prey.
“I was just gonna ask if you fancied ordering burritos.”
You murmur, head reeling as you try to piece together what just happened. Caleb grins, just like always, and flashes a thumbs up.
“Charge it to my card, okay?”
“Okay if you insist.”
You reply. You’re somehow able to keep the quiver out of your voice as you grin weakly at him.
You spend the time waiting for the delivery setting out the instructions for the construction of your bed and checking that all the correct materials are present. Your new apartment is light and airy - so much more high tech than the house you shared with Gran and Caleb. Despite the confusion of your feelings, you’re glad Caleb is here to help you. You allow your eyes to flit over to where he’s standing on the other side of the room, only to find him already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Your face reddens, as though you were the one caught staring.
“What?”
You question, voice thin and reedy. Caleb shrugs.
“Nothin’, Pipsqueak.” He pauses. “Just…I dunno, just thinking about how much you’ve grown.”
‘Did you observe that when you were ogling my chest earlier?’ You think sardonically to yourself but stay silent, merely furrowing your eyebrows in response. Caleb chuckles and stands the wooden slats in his hands up against the wall. He pads gently towards you, feet silent against the hard wood of the floor. He’s up in your personal space now like he belongs there, staring down at you - and fuck , when did he get so big? The way he towers over you has you biting your lip, and Caleb’s eyes instantly jolt down to watch the action.
‘What is going on today?’ The question bounces around your head. What’s with this charged atmosphere? It can’t just be your imagination, surely you can’t just be seeing what you want to see? But Caleb pins you to the spot with his gaze and you silently will him to say something, anything, to put a stop to your racing thoughts.
You’re saved by the sound of the doorbell, your forgotten take out choosing now to arrive. You flinch away from him and choke out some semblance of the words “door” and “food” and back quickly out of the room. Collecting yourself, you approach the entrance. God, your fingers are trembling, clumsy with the lock. The door swings open and reveals a man probably a little older than you hunting through his bag.
“Hey!” He greets you with a smile, “Do you have the order number? I have about four different bags here.”
Grateful for the intrusion and pleasant conversation, you match his smile as you recite the order number from memory. The delivery guy locates the bag with your food in and holds it out, peering behind you into your apartment as he does.
“Just moving in?”
He asks, gesturing to the pile of boxes still to be unpacked.
“Yup!” You respond, accepting the paper bag and giving it a little shake. “Hopefully this is gonna keep me going through the rest of the unpacking.”
The man in front of you gives a knowing smile as he starts to zip up his delivery bag.
“I understand the feeling all too well, I actually only just moved to this neighbourhood myself a couple of months back.” He gestures vaguely towards the window in the hallway, “Just around the corner, by the park.”
Your smile widens in surprise..
“Oh wow, that’s such a coincidence! Although I don’t actually know which park that is, I haven’t had a chance to explore yet.”
You add on the last part sheepishly.
The delivery bag is safely zipped up and secured on the man’s back when he replies.
“If you don’t have any friends in the area yet, I could be your first?” He suggests. “I wouldn’t mind showing you around a little.”
And talk about perfect timing! In a completely new area all on your own, someone to take you around is exactly what you need. You’re just about to accept the offer, free hand already digging in the pocket of your jeans to find your phone to exchange numbers when a warm hand claps onto your shoulder. You jump and twist your head to see Caleb leaning over you, his eyes glinting dangerously.
“That’s really kind of you to offer, but I was already planning on taking her around tomorrow.”
Caleb talks over your head as though you’re not even there. Your whole body tenses up, hackles raising. The man frowns a little and you can tell he’s sizing Caleb up, his eyes flickering between him and you. Caleb’s grip on your shoulder tightens and it only serves to piss you off more.
Accepting defeat gracefully, the delivery guy gives a wry smile.
“Understood. Don’t forget to show her Meow’s Cafe on 6th street, I have a feeling she’ll like it.”
Caleb returns his smile with a humourless one, his eyes cold and hard.
“I’m sure she will. Goodbye now.”
And with that, he reaches straight past you to close the door. You barely register it when Caleb slips the paper take out bag from your fingers, only coming back to yourself when he calls you, voice light hearted, to the table to eat. Vision blurry with rage, you stalk back into the living room and round on him.
“What was that?”
You demand, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. Caleb regards you coolly,
“What was what?”
“Don’t play stupid. You know exactly what I mean.”
It’s an age-old cycle. Caleb, through intimidation or otherwise, chasing every other male away from you. Even during your high school days, boys knew not to approach you. Your friends would fawn and squeal over how cute it was to have such a doting older brother, and at one point you would have agreed with them. But as you got older it became more stifling. Who did he think he was, acting like he had some kind of control over who you interacted with? He sure wasn’t your boyfriend, despite his efforts to ensure you never got one. Only after he left for Skyhaven did you finally get a chance to explore being a normal teenager. Every secret date you went on, you were constantly on edge that either Caleb would pop up out of nowhere, or one of his many friends would see and snitch on you.
You were the last of all of your friends to lose your virginity - a decidedly unglamorous affair born out of curiosity, teenage hormones and physical need. Any time the topic was brought up, Caleb would always preach to you that a girl’s first time should be loving and romantic, but you had a feeling that you would never have experienced anything at all if Caleb’s iron grip on you continued.
“I was merely trying to protect you against…” Caleb trails off with a sneer. “Unsavoury types.”
You throw your hands up in exasperation.
“What does that even mean? He was perfectly normal!”
There’s a loud clang as Caleb sets the glasses of water he’s holding down too hard on the table.
“You just don’t underst-“
You cut him off before he can get any further.
“Yes, I do! I understand that you see every man as a threat!”
You’re breathing heavily now, glaring daggers into Caleb’s stony face.
“A lot of them are.”
His voice is level but you can hear the anger simmering beneath it. You let out an incredulous laugh.
“And how am I ever going to learn how to tell the good ones from the bad ones if you never let me get any experience?” You place your hands on your hips. “It’s like…” You exhale violently, eyes rolling up to the ceiling. Caleb’s eyes narrow.
“Like what?”
You steel your shoulders and stare him down.
“It’s like you keep trying to treat me like-“
Caleb cuts you off,
“Like a child?”
“Like I’m your girlfriend!”
You spit the word out and it hangs between you, lingering like a mist. You hear the breath catch in Caleb’s throat and you feel the anger slowly seep out of you.
“Or,” You try again, voice suddenly brittle. “Or like…you want me to be…”
Caleb’s eyes drop to the ground, fists clenched by his side. You’ve had a similar argument countless times before when you felt like he was encroaching on your freedom, but you’ve never voiced this out loud. Despite the amount of times it had crossed your mind.
“Pip-“
He croaks, but you don’t let him make his excuses.
“You chase everyone away from me. No one is ever good enough in your eyes. It’s like you’re trying to keep me for yourself.”
Your heart is pounding in your chest, words you thought you’d never say, feelings you thought you’d never voice suddenly pouring from your lips. Caleb stands tortured in front of you. Time drags by sluggishly and he finally shakes his head, a softer movement than you expected, his hair falling into his eyes.
“But you’re not even transparent with me.” You continue, while you still have the chance. “You’ve changed since you moved away, sometimes I feel like you're hiding parts of yourself from me.”
Caleb’s whole body seems to deflate as he exhales.
“That’s not…” He clears his throat, “I just want to protect you.”
Silence falls over you for a few moments.
Surprisingly, it’s Caleb that breaks it.
“I’m sorry.” He slowly raises his head to look at you. “You’re right, maybe I do want to keep you for myself. And yeah, there are parts of me that have changed over the last few years - some that I’m not proud of.”
Your hands fall from your hips. Palms clammy with a nervous sweat, you wipe them discreetly on your jeans as Caleb continues,
“I sometimes worry that if you see me at my lowest, you won’t believe that I can always protect you.”
Your heart squeezes at the admission, but it also ignites a long-held frustration.
“I want to stand beside you, Caleb.” You hate how your voice comes out so whiny when you want to sound decisive. “Not behind you.”
He seems to take a few seconds to mull this over. You can almost see the cogs whirring in his head as he considers your words. Then slowly, he nods.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I admit I get…carried away sometimes.”
You snort delicately, but you honestly don’t have it in you to argue any further. An apology and an admission of guilt is a great start, and you'll take what you can get. The atmosphere feeling lighter, you tentatively offer an olive branch.
“I want to see these other parts of you.” You allow yourself a small smile. “After all, there must be other sides to your personality than just ‘annoying’ and ‘dumb.’”
Caleb chuckles, grateful for the out you’ve given him.
“Very true. I’m also a glutton who’s about to eat both these burritos.”
“You’d better not!”
You shriek, and just like that the moment passes. Not forgotten, not wholly resolved, but it passes all the same.
-
It’s later on when both your stomachs are full and you’re slumped over the table tapping absentmindedly on your phone when Caleb nudges at your leg under the table. You look up at him quizzically.
“You shouldn’t forgive me so easily.” He murmurs, stroking your leg gently with his foot. “Or else I’ll want to keep testing your limits.”
You cock your head, cradling it in your arm on the table.
“I don’t think there are limits with us.” You muse.
You bring your foot up to rest in his lap and Caleb’s hands wrap around it immediately, fingers squeezing in a soft massage. He regards you tenderly, choosing not to respond.
-
Caleb was right. The bed absolutely was a two-person job. You almost curse your choice in bed frame as your wrist screams from the endless screws that need to be tightened. It’s a beautiful double bed with storage drawers to slide underneath and you know it’ll be worth it but right now you want to throw the wooden beams out of the window. Caleb is faring much better than you are, good naturedly cracking jokes to lighten your mood and offering to finish the rest of it himself. The bed is the last thing on the agenda today, the sun already setting over the buildings of Linkon City. Caleb planned to drive back to Gran’s house to catch up with her and sleep in his old room there. You'll be left alone to spend your first night in your new apartment, and then in the morning he’ll be right back here to help you set up everything else. ‘And go exploring together,’ you add to yourself, twisting the screwdriver for seemingly the eight millionth time.
“We’d be finished by now if you hadn’t decided you need such a huge bed, you know?”
Caleb teases as he hammers a thick wooden slat to the bed frame and reaches for the next. You stick your tongue out at him,
“I need enough room for all my plushies!”
You gesture vaguely to the five boxes marked ‘bedroom’ that predominantly contain your extensive fluffy family, most of which Caleb himself had won from the arcade for you. Caleb peers at you slyly out of the corner of his eye.
“Hmm?” His voice is teasing, “Not because you’re hoping to meet someone special at your Hunter Academy?”
He can’t possibly be suggesting what you think he’s suggesting. You glare at him incredulously.
“Caleb what did we literally just argue about?”
Caleb raises his hands in defense.
“Okay, okay, calm down! I was joking.” He brushes it off with an easy grin. “I just wanted to see you get all flustered.” He nods towards your rapidly reddening face.
You snap your head to the side and hide behind the curtain of your hair, busying yourself with the last few screws. Smirking at your reaction, Caleb continues,
“Don’t worry,” His voice is lower, breathier. “I know you don’t have any experience.” Caleb leans closer to you, eyes wide and mocking. “Would you even know what to do?”
Huh? Your heart stutters in your chest. Your face feels like it’s on fire, you don’t know why his words are having such an effect on you.
His tone is condescending and you deliberately keep your face turned away from him, seething. How can he joke so casually about something he’s usually super strict about? Usually any mention of the possibility of you being sexually active puts murder in his eyes, but here he is bringing it up himself? Embarrassment and irritation swirl in your lower belly.
“Of course I would!” You hiss, twisting the screw viciously. You can’t possibly look him in the face as you add, “I’m not as innocent as you think I am, you know.”
Caleb chuckles and leans down, hands on his hips and fake concern adorning his features.
“Oh?” He cocks his head in satirical confusion. “But I thought I prevented you from getting any kind of experience? Weren’t we ‘literally just’ arguing about that?”
He turns your words against you with a high-pitched imitation of your voice and you almost throw the screwdriver at him. God, he’s so annoying! He knows exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction out of you, and you know you shouldn't give him what he wants. But then also...for some reason…next to the humiliation, underneath the anger, you feel something else. A low thrum rising steadily in your stomach. This is turning you on. The condescension, the teasing body language…the entire topic itself…
You can’t help yourself, can’t help the desire that spreads sluggishly through your veins. The blush on your cheeks is now partly due to shame - guilt and mortification prickling your insides at your indecent reaction. You fidget a little as you feel a familiar ache, a wetness spreading at your core. You don’t even want to look at Caleb, don’t want to check if he’s noticed the subtle change in your demeanor. Bitterly, you figure he probably has. Nothing gets past his eyes. Eager to diffuse the tension before he has a chance to comment on your disposition, you scowl at the bed frame.
“Is this what you meant when you said ‘testing my limits?’”
You grumble, fixing your gaze pointedly on the last screw in front of you, willing your heart rate back to normal. You’re glad you didn’t allow yourself to see Caleb’s expression when he finally replies, his voice smooth and deep and promising.
“Oh no, Princess. You don’t know the half of it.”
-
You gradually manage to get your racing thoughts back under control, and to your reprieve the discussion is buried once again. Part of you is relieved that Caleb thinks you’re still a virgin - just the idea of the inevitable interrogation that awaits you if he found out you’re not makes you shudder. Back on light hearted chatty terms, you and Caleb (and a healthy helping of Caleb’s gravity Evol) navigate your new mattress into your bedroom and finally slot it down onto the bed frame. You flop down on top of it, sighing happily in satisfaction. Cracking one eye open you see Caleb staring down at you with a soft smile on his face. Your heart swells with affection in your chest. You really do miss him when he’s away.
Lips gently widening to mirror his contented expression, you reach your arms up to him. Caleb hesitates for a second and you make grabby motions with your hands with an exasperated huff. Caleb caves in quickly, lowering himself onto the mattress next to you and chuckling lightly as you immediately wrap yourself around him like a koala. Your head rests cozily atop his chest while his hand smooths down your hair. It’s definitely been a long and confusing day, but Caleb being your main source of comfort will never change.
Caleb rolls over to face you fully, pulling you further into him so your face is sandwiched between his pecs and wraps his arms around your frame. His chin rests on top of your head and you both stay there, comfortable in the silence as your breathing synchronises.
“What time are you coming over tomorrow?”
You ask, absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.
“Maybe like midday?” He hums into your hair, “I know you’ll want to go for a run in the morning.”
You nuzzle further into his chest, marvelling at the plush softness of the muscle.
“You don’t want to come with me? You can shower here afterwards - I have a bottle of your shower gel in one of the boxes.”
Caleb puffs out a soft laugh and you feel his breath dance across your skin. He plays with your hair, winding a strand around his finger.
“Always thinking about me, huh?”
You know he’s joking, teasing you like always, but your cheeks begin to flush a deep pink nonetheless. You don’t think you’ve ever blushed so many times in one day in your life. The way your body cringes in on itself and tries to make itself smaller must’ve outed your embarrassment to Caleb because he presses a ghost of a kiss to the top of your head.
“Thank you.” He murmurs. “For thinking about me.”
Caleb hesitates, his next words dying in his throat. You try to raise your head to see his face properly but his grip keeps you firmly where you are.
“And,” He continues after a long pause, “For forgiving me for being so weird today. We’ve both grown up and we’re going through a lot of different changes. I want to be myself in front of you and show you the parts of me that sometimes I keep hidden away…” he trails off and wraps his arms tight around you. “I’m worried I might scare you, or that if you see my weaknesses then you won’t feel safe relying on me.”
Your fingers leave the front of Caleb’s shirt and you bring your arm around to rest across his waist, embracing him back.
“I think…” you start softly, unsure if you have the courage to say it. The different happenings throughout the day; the charged glances and teasing smiles float around in your head. Heart in your throat, you purse your lips and try again,
“I think we’re on the same page in terms of how we feel about each other.”
The words hang between you for a moment and you wonder if you should have said them at all. They’re vague - vague enough that if he doesn’t share your feelings after all, maybe he won’t think too deeply into the statement and discover your hidden desires. You can continue as this strange hybrid of childhood friends and adoptive siblings. But if he does? If he does feel the same - if his actions up until now, his behaviour today, the heated looks you keep catching…If your intuition is right, hopefully this will give him confirmation that you want it too. That you’re ready to accept this unexplored part of him.
It’s almost imperceptible but you feel Caleb nod against your head. Your next words come out as a whisper,
“And I know I can always rely on you.”
You stay, for how long you can’t tell, wordlessly wrapped around each other and legs intertwined. His heartbeat is loud and steady in your ear. The weight of his muscled arm around you is soothing and the scent of his skin caresses your senses. It’s Caleb who breaks the silence in the end.
“I’ll be over tomorrow at 9 am for our run. You should get some rest.”
-
-
You see Caleb out and promise to double lock the door and be careful in your new apartment. The silence after he leaves is stifling and it occurs to you that you’ve never properly been on your own for as long as you can remember. Now that you have some space to breathe, all the different scenes from today buzz around your head like flies. So many lines were almost crossed, so many desires almost acted on. You wonder if Caleb will always try to keep this small distance between you, or if there’s a way you can push him to throw that control away.
You’re unpacking the box filled with your shampoos and skincare products to stock up your bathroom as you imagine what it might be like when Caleb finally gives in. If he takes your words today at face value that yes, you want the same things, yes, you want whatever this is becoming. You place Caleb’s favourite shower gel in the bathroom cabinet and catch a glimpse of your face, flushed pink from the fantasies flooding your imagination. Would he ever actually claim you for himself? Or just keep the two of you in limbo forever in the name of “protecting” you? You let out a sigh.
Maybe you’re both just cowards.
You decide on a thorough shower before bed, the constant emotional turmoil (and sexual tension) since morning resulting in a stiffness in your shoulders. And the indecent thoughts all day on top of that…You briefly consider putting those thoughts and the heated memories to good use and letting off some steam before you sleep but you remember that your vibrator is still located in one of the boxes marked ‘bedroom’ and you decide against the hassle. While it wouldn’t be the first (or tenth) time you’d finish with Caleb’s name a breathy sigh on your lips, you opt to prioritise sleep.
The apartment is still too quiet as you lie down in your huge new bed so you put on an audiobook to fill the space. The unfamiliar ache in your chest might be loneliness, but you’re not sure and you tamp it down.
The comforter still smells faintly of Caleb from where he lay on it, and you inhale deeply. Amongst so many conflicting feelings and anticipation for tomorrow, sleep finally takes you.