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Loki has been miserable ever since he got here.
Since he saw what could have been with Thor. Since he saw that they could be brothers again.
He buries his face in his arms, which are on the desk. Actually, he keeps telling himself that he has come to terms with being here, but he hasn't.
He doesn't know if he ever could.
He feels stupid somehow. Mourning something that never was. That he only saw. But he misses it.
He misses Thor.
Every time he closes his eyes, he sees him, he sees his brother. He regrets so much that he was never able to apologize for the suffering he caused. Did his other self do that? Apologize before he died?
The thought of his own death sends a shiver down his spine. Thanos has tortured him before, back in New York. He still feels the heat with which Thanos tortured him.
That biting heat that was only worse on his Jotun skin. The heat stroke he had. He could never tell Thor that. Never explain it.
He swallows. Damn, why does he miss him so much? Why does his throat tighten when he thinks about it?
Why are tears welling up in his eyes? Why is he suddenly sitting at his desk crying?
If only he could see him one more time, maybe hug him. Would that make it better? Probably not.
Where is he right now? What is he doing?
He is probably happy with his Jane, without him. A sad laugh escapes him. Does Thor miss him?
Certainly not. Too much was broken for that. But he saw it, he saw that they could have fixed it.
The truth is, he doesn't know where Thor is right now. How he is. He doesn't know anything. He feels so helpless.
He wishes he could sleep. But he can't. He only sees his brother.
He never knew how much he loved him before it was too late.
"Loki, is everything okay?" a voice suddenly tears him from his thoughts. Loki looks up into Mobius' eyes. He smiles sadly.
"Yes, I'm fine," he lies.
Mobius sits down opposite him, a slight smile on his lips. "You know, for the god of lies, you're a terrible liar."
Loki narrows his eyes slightly. But he knows himself that he can't hide his feelings very well right now. His eyes feel dry and burning, they are probably red from crying.
"So, what's wrong?" the other man leans back a little and watches Loki. His eyes follow his movements.
"I... I think I miss my brother," Loki finally whispers. He is ashamed of the weakness, the vulnerability he shows him.
"Your brother? Thor?"
He nods slightly. "I wish I could see him."
Mobius folds his arms across his chest. "I don't think that would be a good idea. He probably still thinks you're the evil, murderous, mischievous brother you are."
Something inside Loki breaks.
He can't hold back the tears.
Loki doesn't realize how much he's crying until Mobius suddenly puts his arm around him. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it like that... please calm down."
But he can't. He can't calm down. The thought of his brother thinking he's nothing but a monster - it hurts.
"I wanted to... I could have fixed it... but... but..."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I know..."
"I never wanted to hurt him. I just wanted to be his equal. And then... then Thanos found me," he sobs, "And I never get a chance to apologize again."
Mobius hugs him. Just like that. He doesn't know what else to say or do. He feels sorry for him. He sees the dark circles under Loki's eyes, knows that he hasn't slept because of all of this. But sleeping here is... weird anyway.
"I want to see him so much. Just one more time," Loki sobs quietly.
"I know, I know," Mobius whispers in a quiet and calm voice and just holds him tight. Trying to ground him again.
But Loki is still crying. He doesn't know why everything is suddenly bursting out of him like that. It just hurts. And he's so tired.
There is silence for a while, only interrupted by Loki's quiet sobs.
Mobius thinks hard while he holds the miserable man in his arms. Then he has an idea. He takes Loki's hand. "Come with me, I'll show you something."
Loki looks at him confused, but follows him.
His confusion only grows when Mobius takes him to the room where he saw how his life would have turned out.
He watches Mobius uncertainly as he adjusts something.
Suddenly an image flickers. Loki's eyes are on the screen. Thor. He looks different, but it's him.
Definitely.
Loki moves closer, presses his hand to the screen as if he could feel him that way. "Brother..."
He knows Thor can't hear him, but he sees him, sees his brother.
He's close to tears again.
Loki sits down in front of the screen and just watches him. Watches his brother.
Mobius holds back, but keeps an eye on him. He sees the small smile on Loki's lips, even when he is just watching his brother doing everyday things. That seems to be enough.
Loki's heart is heavy. He still misses him, but he's fine. And that's the most important thing.
"I don't know where you are right now, brother," he whispers, speaking more to himself.
"But I promise you that I will make you proud. Somehow."
Mobius smiles slightly. He is sure that Loki can keep that promise.
He was right.