Incorrect Quotes: Sonic's Version

by Chaosgirl2007

Summary:

Literally a space for drabbles and such. I wanted to write something again, so these are just small thingies.

Side Note: I'm still reeling from Sonic 3 like WTH it was INSANE and I wanna write abt it so badly but my brain isn't braining :(

Chapter 1: A Minty Bribe

Tails: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

 

Sonic: But, lil’ bro, I’ll be all alone without you. All alone with three buckets of mint candy—

 

Tails: Three buckets—Wait. Are you trying to bribe me into healthy sleeping patterns???

 

Sonic: Is it working?

 

Tails: How big are the buckets?

Notes:

What better way to start this than with my favorite duo?

Chapter 2: We Are Hiring!

Vector, recruiting Silver to join the Chaotix: Tell me a little about yourself.

 

Silver: I’d rather not, I really like this group

Chapter 3: Lucky Misfortunes (For Some)

Sonic: I can’t believe we have to be stuck in this room together!

 

Amy: [swallows the key] Truly unfortunate.

Chapter 4: Misadventures of Sonic the Chef

Tails: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

 

Sonic: Burn the house down.

 

Tails: And what did you do?

 

Sonic: I made dinner.

 

Tails:

 

Sonic:

 

Tails:

 

Sonic: And burnt the house down.

Chapter 5: Lost Things

Amy: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?

 

Tails: Actually, it’s not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It’s just that you LOOK for things when you need them.

 

Amy, carrying a bloodied Sonic: Okay yeah thanks Tails, that’s great but WHERE’S THE FIRST AID KIT?!

Chapter 6: Shower Thoughts

Charmy: What are your adjectives?

 

Espio: . . .You mean my pronouns?

 

Charmy: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?

 

Espio:  . . .I don’t know. What are yours? 

 

Charmy: Noisy and chaotic!

 

Espio: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

Chapter 7: Team Troubles: Cooking Edition

Storm: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

 

Wave: It’s just you.

Chapter 8: Team Troubles: Stealing Edition

Tails: Think you can unlock the door for us?

 

Rouge: Sure, I just need a couple of things. Sonic, can I have your credit card?

 

Sonic: Sure, just make sure not to bend it.

 

Rouge: Thanks. Now Knuckles, break the door down!

 

Sonic: ???

Chapter 9: Music Galore

Surge: Made you all playlists! 

 

Surge: Eggman, yours has only heavy metal, dark like your soul.

 

Surge: Starline, yours has sad songs and blues to match your crippling depression.

 

Surge: And Kit has the ABBA Gold album.

Chapter 10: "I don't think they're gonna accept 'gotta go fast' as a medical condition"

Sonic: You can de-escalate any situation by asking “Are we about to kiss?”

 

Sonic: Doesn’t work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Chapter 11: Kid Math

Vector: Charmy, can you hand me that casefile?

 

Charmy, handing it over: No.

Chapter 12: The Downside of Being an Empath

Silver: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

 

Silver: And I started thinking

 

Silver: Like it was just trying to get food

 

Silver: What if I went to a fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

 

Silver: How would I feel?

 

Shadow, genuinely concerned: Are you okay?

Chapter 13: Charmy Stole Vector's Credit Card

Knuckles, trying to log into the social media account: What’s the password?

 

Cream: Oh it’s-- 

 

Cream, turning to Amy: What’s the password?

 

Amy: Isn’t it--

 

Amy, turning to Vector: What was it

 

Vector, taking out a piece of paper:  I wrote it down on here—nope that’s a receipt

 

Amy: Oh I’ll just ask—

 

Vector: When did I buy 13 chocolate bars?

 

Mighty: You guys are so irresponsible, I saved it on my phone [pulls out phone]

 

Charmy: That’s a picture of Ray

 

Mighty: Your point?

 

Charmy, turning to Tangle: What’s the password?

 

Tangle: If I knew the password I would post more often.

 

Tails: Should we tell them?

 

Espio, looking at a piece of paper hung directly above the computer saying “Media Password”: Just give them a minute.

Chapter 14: Hedgehog Math

Silver: If the moon is made of cheese and Saturn is six, how many pancakes could you eat on Mars?

 

Sonic: Yellow!

 

Silver: The correct answer is packing peanuts.

 

Sonic: Oh I see, because you carry the two and—

 

Shadow: What is wrong with you people?

Notes:

Shadow doesn't get it cuz he's bad at math (and artificial)

Chapter 15: Communication Issues

Blaze, writing a letter: Silver, if you’re reading this,

 

Marine: Can Silver read?

 

Blaze: Sonic, if you’re reading this to Silver,

 

Marine: Can Sonic read?

 

Blaze: 

 

Marine:

 

Blaze: Tails,

Chapter 16: PowerPoint Power

Amy: Ask me why I love you.

 

Sonic, sighing: Why do you love me, Amy?

 

Amy, pulling up a 200 slide presentation: I’m glad you asked.

Chapter 17: Words Won't Break My Bones, But Silence Might

Shadow, hoarsely: Shoot, I’m losing my voice.

 

Sonic: Haha, guess that means you can’t yell at us anymore.

 

. . . 

 

Sonic: Turns out, Shadow is scarier when he’s quiet.

Chapter 18: Dumb Ways to Die: Presented by Sonic T. Hedgehog

Knuckles: [sees someone dancing around a volcano] What an idiot.

 

Tails, realizing that it’s Sonic: [panicked] That’s our idiot!

Chapter 19: Jet Should Stick to Extreme Gear

Driving Instructor: Alright you’re driving and an old lady and kid are crossing the street. What do you hit?

 

Jet: The old lady. I mean the kid’s got his whole li-

 

Driving Instructor: The breaks. You hit the breaks.

Chapter 20: A Silver Situation

Nurse: Hello, is this Blaze? I’m calling from the local hospital-

 

Blaze: Did Silver try to Tarzan swing down a building again?

 

Nurse: AGAIN?!

 

Blaze: On my way

Chapter 21: Package Successfully Acquired

Ray: Watcha doin?

 

Mighty: Stealing a chaos emerald.

 

Ray: Scandalous.

 

Ray: Can I help?

Chapter 22: Parenting Problems

Vanilla, talking to Cream: What do we say when life disappoints us?

 

Charmy: Called it!

 

Vanilla: No.

Chapter 23: "Everybody was kung fu fighting"

*Sonic and Knuckles are fighting*

 

Tails, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?!

 

*Sonic and Knuckles start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

Chapter 24: Team Troubles: Ego Edition

Knuckles: What happened to your nose?

 

Sonic, got beat up by Shadow: I used it to break some guy’s fist.

Chapter 25: Team Troubles: Amnesia Edition (Ft. The Chaotix!)

Espio: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

 

Vector: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

 

Espio: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.

 

Vector: But I heard a siren.

 

Espio: That was Charmy.

 

Charmy: Sorry, I got nervous.

Chapter 26: Shadow Sez

Shadow: I’m not a morning person. I’m barely even a person.

Chapter 27: Selective Hearing

Rouge, after bailing Shadow out of a failed GUN mission: We’ll talk about this later.

 

Shadow: Fine, I won’t be listening.

Chapter 28: Team Troubles: Decision-Making

Shadow: Do you want some tea?

 

Rouge: What are the options?

 

Shadow: Yes or no.

Chapter 29: If You Give a Hedgehog a Therapist . . .

Therapist: What do you feel is your biggest weakness?

 

Sonic: I can be uncooperative.

 

Therapist: Can you give me an example?

 

Sonic: No.

Chapter 30: Beauty is Pain

Tails, struggling to keep upright in Vanilla’s one-inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me.

 

Cream, walking flawlessly in Rouge’s sparkly golden six-inch heels: WEAK.

Chapter 31: Parenting Problems Part 2 (Ft. Tails)

Tails: This is bothering me.

 

Vanilla, fighting off shock: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

 

Tails: No, not that. That’s, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

Notes:

Vanilla does not always know what Sonic & Tails get up to. After this, she doesn't want to know.

Btw HugeTailsFan this is for you! And I have a few more Vanilla & Tails interactions coming up too

Chapter 32: Are Fish Bees?

Marine: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

 

Tails, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons.

 

Marine:

 

Marine: fsh

Chapter 33: Team Troubles: Parenting Edition

Vanilla: Here’s some advice.

 

Tails: I didn’t ask for any?

 

Vanilla: Too bad. You were raised by a teenager who regularly jumps off cliffs and falls from space. You need life advice.

Notes:

I sometimes wonder what Vanilla thinks of Sonic’s parenting style towards Tails considering he’s his only actual guardian.

Chapter 34: Misadventures of Sonic the Mathematician

Sonic: I’m incredibly fast at math.

 

Tails: Alright, what’s 30 times 17?

 

Sonic: 47

 

Tails: That’s not even close.

 

Sonic: But it was fast.

Chapter 35: A "Get Out of Jail Free" Card

*Boom Universe*

 

Tails: This is such a bad idea.

 

Sticks: Then why are you coming along?

 

Tails: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Notes:

Underrated duo honestly

Chapter 36: Tails' Power Source: Adrenaline & Spite-filled Inspiration

*Movie Universe*

 

Maddie: You know, I’m starting to regret showing you how the blender works.

 

Tails, drinking toast after twenty hours of no sleep: Why?

Chapter 37: Spooky Scary Skeletons

*Movie Universe*

 

Maddie: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

 

Knuckles: You mean literally or figuratively?

 

Maddie: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify . . . 

Chapter 38: Is Meh Burger even food?

*Boom Universe*

 

Sonic: Knuckles was banned from Meh Burger so we had to go out of town to get food.

 

Knuckles: Well, they shouldn’t say “All you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

 

Amy: Knuckles, you ate a chair.

Chapter 39: Fortune Gone Wrong

Amy, shuffling her tarot cards: Pick a card, any card.

 

Rouge: Fine.

 

Amy: Wait, that’s my credit card!

 

Rouge: You said any card.

Chapter 40: Team Troubles: Picket Fence Edition

*Sonic is casually searching around the room*

 

Amy: Hey, Sonic, what’re you looking for?

 

Sonic: My will to live.

 

*Tails walks into the room*

 

Sonic: Oh, there it is.

Notes:

Sonic needs Tails just as much as Tails needs Sonic and I will die on that hill

Chapter 41: Team Troubles: Sleeping Edition

Sonic, returning from a month-long adventure: When’s the last time you slept?

 

Tails: Uh . . . a few days ago, I think.

 

Sonic: A few- how many?!

 

Tails: Uh . . . [starts counting fingers] I need more fingers . . . 

 

Sonic, already carrying Tails to his room: What you need is sleep!

Chapter 42: Omega Opinions

Omega: This is a safety pin. 

 

*cuts off end*

 

Omega: It is now a danger pin.

Chapter 43: Team Troubles: Water Edition

*Tangle rushes by with an armful of water bottles*

 

Blaze: What’s going on?

 

Whisper: Tangle wouldn’t drink water.

 

Blaze: . . . and?

 

Whisper: And I asked her how fast she could chug an entire bottle.

 

Tangle, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN 10 SECONDS! TAKE THAT, WHISPER!

Chapter 44: Team Mania! (Minus Knuckles)

Tails, setting down a card: Ace of spades

 

Sonic, pulling out an Uno card: +4

 

Ray, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

 

Mighty, trembling: What are we playing?!

Notes:

Mighty has the hardest job: being the only one with common sense

Chapter 45: The Ultimate Mother

Big: How many kids do you have?

 

Vanilla, gesturing to Cream, then Charmy, then Tails: Biologically, legally, or emotionally?

Notes:

Vanilla is literally everyone's mom at this point.

Chapter 46: Where's Espio When You Need Him?

Vector: I am in charge of this disaster!

 

Charmy, pouting: I have a name, you know.

Chapter 47: How To Win A Fight: By Amy Rose

Sonic: How petty can you get?

 

Amy: I once edited a research article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Chapter 48: It Ain't a Crime If You Don't Get Caught

Rouge, to Shadow: Please, picking locks is my specialty.

 

Rouge: *throws a brick through the window*

 

Rouge: Okay, let’s go.

Notes:

She could definitely pick a lock, she's just messing with Shadow as per usual ;)

Chapter 49: Pride and . . . Just Pride

Shadow: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Chapter 50: Team Troubles: Code Words

Espio: What’s the signal when something goes wrong?

 

Charmy: We yell ‘Oh chaos!’ 

 

Vector:  . . . That’ll work.

Chapter 51: Way Past

Sonic, dragging Knuckles away from a brawl they started: Why do I always try to tell people we’re cool? We are so very uncool.

Chapter 52: Dress To Impress

Sonic: So, uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh . . . 

 

Amy, sighing: You don’t know how to dress for this, do you?

 

Sonic, panicked: WHAT IS CLOTHES???

Chapter 53: Team Troubles: Trouble Edition

Whisper: Are you alright?

 

Tangle: Short answer or long answer?

 

Whisper: Short.

 

Tangle: No.

 

Whisper: Long.

 

Tangle: Nooooooo.

Chapter 54: Hummus Goes With Everything, Even Battle Plans

Knuckles, after looking at Sonic’s plan to invade Eggman’s ship: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan.

 

Sonic: We could attack them with hummus.

 

Knuckles: I stand corrected.

Chapter 55: Sonic 2 Rewrite

11-year-old Sonic: We’ll have to find another route; it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.

 

4-year-old Tails: That sounds like a challenge.

 

Sonic: I assure you, this is not a challenge—

 

Tails: Is exactly what you would say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting! Well, challenge accepted! *runs off into dark cave*

 

Sonic, panicked and running right after Tails: This is not a challenge!!!

Chapter 56: Little Brother Privilege

Sonic: Everybody shut up, I’m thinking.

 

Tails, patting Sonic’s back: Well, don’t think too hard, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Chapter 57: Shadow Sez #2

Shadow: I’m not funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Chapter 58: It's Harder Than It Looks

Wave, startled: Sorry, Storm, I was thinking.

 

Storm: I wish I could do that

 

*Jet guffawing in the background*

Chapter 59: Team Troubles: Priorities Edition

Silver, texting Blaze: *sends a voice message*

 

Blaze, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

 

Silver: No, don’t worry, just listen later. 

 

*later*

 

Blaze: *presses play*

 

Silver’s voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Chapter 60: Team Dark Presents: How to Beat the HEAT!

*Team Dark is stuck in the desert*

 

Rouge: Ugh, I hate this heat!

 

Shadow: *glares at the ground in pErSoNaL oFfEnSe*

 

Rouge: Omega, count how many sand particles are here

 

Shadow: He’s a war machine, he’s not going to-

 

Omega: *picks out the tiniest grains of sand* 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 

Chapter 61: Misadventures of Sonic the Lawyer

Silver: That’s a nice argument, Sonic. Why don’t you back it up with a source?

 

Sonic: My source is that I made it up.

Chapter 62: What are You Made of?

*Boom Universe

 

Knuckles: Sugar!

 

Sonic: Spice!

 

Amy: Everything nice!

 

Sticks: Prepared for whatever comes next.

 

Tails: CHEMICAL X!!! *maniacal laughing in the background*

Chapter 63: Tails Core

Tails: I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

 

Sonic: I literally said “I have an idea” and you went along with it.

 

Tails: Fair.

Chapter 64: Team Sonic Presents: How to Work Together!

*Knuckles having a Bad Day™

 

Sonic: [silly innocent little teasing quip]

 

Knuckles: [self-esteem shattering response for no other reason than being extremely petty]

 

Tails: [watching Sonic die in the background]

Chapter 65: Girls' Day Out

Amy: Question. When they shot Bambi’s mother, did you find that a sad moment . . . at all?

 

Rouge: I’m sure she’s mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Chapter 66: Team Troubles: Dating Edition

Shadow, after being set up on an awful blind date: Hey, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

 

Rouge: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

Chapter 67: This Will End Well (said no one ever)

Knuckles: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with a great force of chaos we don’t fully understand.

 

Sonic: That sounds like a dare.

 

Tails: [flashback to Perfect Chaos] No. 

Chapter 68: Lost Gems from Lost World

*Sonic, Tails, and Eggman working together to get rid of the Zeti during Lost World

 

Eggman: If I may interject—

 

Tails: Oh, awesome, Eggman was eavesdropping.

Notes:

I love salty Tails in this game, and Eggman totally deserved it lol

Chapter 69: Shadow Sez #69 :0

Shadow: [holds a gun out to Sonic]

 

Sonic: I-I don’t believe in guns.

 

Shadow: Well, trust me, they’re very real. Now take it.

Chapter 70: True Friends

*Set in Boom universe bc it makes more sense*

 

Amy: You guys worried about Sonic?

 

Tails: Of course!

 

Knuckles: Yeah, he called me in the middle of the night and just yelled “what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?!”

 

Amy: And what’d you say?

 

Knuckles: “I dunno, I dunno, I dunno.”

 

Tails: 

 

Amy: He’s lucky to have you as a friend

Notes:

Boom Knuckles is immune to sarcasm and I love him for it.

Chapter 71: Misunderstandings

Sonic, giving a pep talk: We can’t lose. Because we have this! [points to his chest]

 

Tails: We have heart?

 

Sonic: What? No, me. I’m pointing at myself. I’m going to win this for us.

Chapter 72

Sonic, giving a pep talk: We can’t lose. Because we have this! [points to his chest]

 

Tails: We have heart?

 

Sonic: What? No, me. I’m pointing at myself. I’m going to win this for us.

Chapter 73: Chaos is Beauty

Charmy, on an abandoned rooftop: The city is so pretty!

 

Espio: It’s on fire.

 

Charmy: Well excuse me for enjoying the scenery [screaming and explosions in the background]

Chapter 74: Shadow AND Sonic Sez

Shadow: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face!

 

Silver: [flashback]

 

Sonic: And then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

 

Silver: [runs away]

Chapter 75: Death Confessions

Silver: If we don’t get out of this alive . . . if we’re both about to die . . . I love you, Blaze!

 

*Neither of them dies*

 

Blaze:

 

Silver:

 

Blaze: Do you want to talk about somethi—

 

Silver: No thank you.

Chapter 76: Customer Service is the Worst Job Ever

Marine: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for six hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

 

Marine: I will not yield. 

Notes:

Blaze ends up dragging her away and paying the cost of six hours' worth of grated cheese.

Chapter 77: Two for One

Knuckles: You really believe in Rouge?

 

Shadow: Luckily, she believes in herself enough for both of us.

Chapter 78: Who's Got Guns?

*Set in Boom universe for obvious reasons

 

Amy: What are you writing?

 

Sticks: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I’m letting them know it’s private information.

 

Sonic, looking over Sticks’ shoulder: This just says ‘mess around and find out’ in calligraphy

 

Tails: You know how to write calligraphy?

 

Knuckles: You know how to write?

Chapter 79: Accurate Boom Knuckles

*Set in Boom Universe

 

Amy: Where have you been all day?

 

Knuckles: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

Chapter 80: Silver Sez (FINALLY)

Silver: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

Chapter 81: Sonic Sez?

Sonic: Like they say, “If you can’t beat them, curl up in a ball and spin dash them”

 

Tails: The saying is “curl up in a ball and protect your organs.”

 

Sonic: Why do that when you can launch yourself as a flying projectile and risk severe brain damage instead?

 

Tails: Self-preservation?

 

Sonic: [shrugs] Don’t know her.

Chapter 82: Dictionaries are Still Necessary

*Boom Universe*

 

Knuckles: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly.

 

Tails: Why not?

 

Knuckles: Because I don’t know what they mean.

Chapter 83: This One's Just for Funsies

*Boom Universe (again)*

 

Amy: Knuckles, we’re hungry!

 

Sonic: Knuckles, what’s for dinner?

 

Tails: We’re hungry, Knuckles!

 

Knuckles, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: [screams]

Chapter 84: Tails Core 2

Knuckles, concerned: When do you usually go to sleep?

 

Tails: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to Chaos.

Chapter 85: Parenting Solutions

Espio, to Vector: Why is Charmy not talking?

 

Vector: I’m playing the silent game with him.

 

Espio: Then you just lost.

 

Vector: I lost two hours ago. I just gave him earplugs and told him to close his eyes. It was the only thing I could think of to get him to shut up.

Chapter 86: The Cutest Duo

Vanilla: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

 

Shadow, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

 

Cream, whispering: Because I have little hands.

 

Shadow: Because she has little hands.

Chapter 87: Team Troubles: A Normal Day for the Chaotix

Charmy: What did you order this morning?

 

Vector: What do you mean?

 

Charmy: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food.

Chapter 88: Hedgehog Fakers

Shadow: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. Black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.

 

Shadow: Look! Even Sonic is wearing black! What a faker!

 

Rouge: Shadow, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.

Chapter 89: Misadventures of Sonic the (really tired) Hero!

Sonic, after being tortured & held prisoner for 6 months, facing a war, Mr. Tinker, zombot apocalypse, and being touch-starved: So apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Notes:

You can't tell me Sonic isn't a little bit traumatized by these life-changing events transpiring over the span of 3 months or smth

Chapter 90: Old Friends, New Roasts

Ray: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

 

Mighty, turning to Sonic: How tall are you?

Chapter 91: Grammar has Rules for a Reason

Sonic, to Eggman: You can take away my rights but can you take away my lefts?

Chapter 92: Knuckles Sez

Boom Knuckles: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. All I can do is look at something and tell you if they are clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.

Chapter 93: Brother Goals

Charmy: Yum, thanks!

 

Espio: [puts more tape over his mouth] I told you to stop eating it.

Chapter 94: He's not at the Legal Drinking Age, Give Him a Break

Tails, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I’ll drink my sorrows away.

Chapter 95: Misadventures of Sonic the Endless Optimist

Sonic: Things will get better!

 

Tails, Knuckles, Amy: [looking at Sonic on a hospital bed]

 

Sonic: Okay, maybe they won’t.

 

Sonic: But they’ll be terrible in new and interesting ways!

Chapter 96: Seems Like Something He'd Do

*Boom Universe*

 

Sonic: As you know, I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.

 

Knuckles: Where am I on the list?

 

Sonic: I can’t tell you that because you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

Notes:

Sticks is number 1 on that list. She's proud of that.

Chapter 97: Inspired by Red vs. Blue

Shadow: Hey, doc. How’s the patient?

 

Rouge: Doing well. He seems very alert and responsive.

 

Sonic, to Shadow: She’s talking about Silver, right?

 

Shadow, to Rouge: No, I mean his toe, how’s his toe I shot?

 

Rouge: What, that thing? That fell off like half an hour ago.

 

Silver, sobbing: Rest in peace, pinky toe. You shall be avenged!

Chapter 98: Canon Big Brother Event

*Espio and Charmy doing something absurdly dangerous behind Vector’s back*

 

Charmy: I think Houdini did something like this once! And he was out of the hospital in no time!

 

Espio, deadpan: Well, that’s encouraging.

Chapter 99: B99: Pulling a Jake Peralta

*Boom Verse (That doesn’t involve Knuckles!)*

 

Tails: I am the smartest, wisest person in this group.

 

Sonic: Is your hand stuck in the vending machine again?

 

Tails: I paid for my Mars Bar, I am GETTING my Mars Bar.

Chapter 100: Prime Time!

Notes:

In honor of (somehow) reaching 100 of these :p

*Prime Verse*

 

Prime Sonic, pointing at Nine, Rebel, & Renegade: These people are my friends!

 

Prime Sonic: I’ve known them for twelve hours.

Chapter 101: 3 Hedgehog Idiots + 1 Fox Genius = Still Not Enough Braincells

Shadow: Silver is late again.

 

Sonic: How?! I called him at 8:00 this morning and pretended it was 11:00 am.

 

Tails: I printed a fake schedule for him, saying we were starting at 9:00 am instead of noon.

 

Shadow: I set his clock to say PM when it’s really AM.

 

Tails:

 

Sonic:

 

Shadow:

 

Tails: Oh boy. We may have overdone it.

 

*Silver bursts through the door*

 

Silver: WHAT TIME IS IT?!?!

Chapter 102: Knuckles Should Really Know Better

Knuckles, to the Chaotix: Can you guys be serious for five minutes?!

 

Vector: Our record is three.

Chapter 103: Do. Not. Mess. With. Amy.

Amy, about Elise: She died of natural causes.

 

Tails: You pushed her off a roof!

 

Amy: Gravity is natural

Chapter 104: Shadow will remember this . . .

Shadow: When crows remember who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s “intelligent” and “really cool” but when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to move on.”

Chapter 105: The Most Necessary Compound

*Sonic Movie Universe*

Knuckles, a few days into his stay on Earth: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Knuckles: [Aggressively throws water bottles]

Tails: Uh . . . 

Sonic: He’s trying to yell mental health and well-being into us.

Knuckles: I APPRECIATE YOU ALL!!!

Tails, crying: It’s working.

Chapter 106: Team as Family

Tails: I’m . . . grounded?

 

Knuckles: Yes, you’re grounded!

 

Sonic: You disobeyed an order!

 

Knuckles, holding a shovel: And now we’re going to bury you until you’ve learned your lesson.

 

Sonic: Knuckles, that’s not how grounding works.

 

Chapter 107: They're Both Green I Guess . . .

Scourge: Surge, could you pass the salt?

 

Surge: Scourge, could you pass away?

 

Kit: This is normal.

Notes:

Don’t ask why Scourge is here. I don’t know how he broke out of Zone cop prison.

Chapter 108: Victim: Amy's Kitchen

Sonic, in Amy’s now broken kitchen covered in frosting: I can explain.

 

Amy, pulling out her hammer: Oh, can you?

 

Sonic: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Chapter 109: The Ultimate Babysitter

Shadow: [Is helping Vanilla carry groceries]

 

Cream: [Holds out hand to help]

 

Shadow: [Aggressively moves all bags to one hand to hold Cream’s hand]

Chapter 110: No Remorse

Sonic: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

 

Shadow: Killed without hesitation.

Chapter 111: Truths & Dares

Sonic: Truth or dare?

 

Tails: Truth.

 

Sonic: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

 

Tails: Dare.

 

Sonic: Go to sleep.

 

Tails: I don’t like this game.

Chapter 112: Stubbed Toes & Paper Cuts are Big Deals

Tails: *Stubs his toe on his desk table* Ouch.

 

Knuckles: WHAT THE HECK?!?!

 

Knuckles: *starts destroying the poor wooden table* HASN’T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?

Chapter 113: It's A Steal

Gadget: Hey I’m going to the store, do you want anything?

 

Tails: I want Sonic back :( 

 

Gadget: I only have $2.50 but I’ll see what I can do.

Notes:

Later returns with one hedgehog hero fresh out of torture :)

Chapter 115: Team Troubles: The Flying Trio! (and their collective mother)

Cream, sneaking back into her house at 3 am:

 

Vanilla, flicking the lights on, sitting in her chair dramatically: So, where were you?

 

Cream: I—I was with Tails and Charmy!

 

Tails & Charmy, turning around in chairs on either side of Vanilla: Wanna try that again?