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Ahsoka had become a sensation in the core worlds. She’d declined thus far to participate in any political debates on the more serious news channels, even though the senators running for reelection seemed to be chomping at the bit to debate her in a public forum. To humble the little girl who had swept in and shaken the political landscape to its core.
The exposure of the Jedi order. Its ranking system, even a short explanation of the force and some of the things a sentient could do with it were practically unheard of in the whole history of the Republic. It made her an instant celebrity. Every citizen was on the edge of their seat to learn any tidbit of information about the secretive order.
All of her opinions of the current political conflict were radical yet well-researched. Experts on the conflict were quick to dismiss her as young and naive, too under-educated for her opinion to hold any value. But when it came down to actually explaining why she was wrong they faltered. Too used to simply coasting on arguing between the very two opposing points of view that she was attempting to marry with her argument of de-escalation rather than victory or surrender.
Even news sources more popular within Separatist territory were forced to address the concept that by forcing systems to join under their umbrella of protection they were essentially becoming the very evil of the republic that they were trying to escape.
But outside of the political sphere, Ahsoka was still a celebrity. She was dubbed “Coruscant's Princess”. Everything from what she wore to how her makeup was done, to the places she ate became relevant to gossip rags and celebrity content channels. Every freeze frame depicting her smile became a saved image for her fans. Every article questioning the validity of her fame was followed by a comment section of supporters pulling apart the author and their political affiliation and the way they profited from the war.
Ahsoka had a barrage of invites from channels of every type of web-based medium. Video interviews, fashion channels, and serious casual political and historian channels.
She’d taken a few up on the offer. Smaller channels had interviewed her on everything from the best places to eat in the systems she’d visited, to the psychological effect of being separated from her racial culture, to a notable interview where she was tasked with trying to recite her research paper on the effects of the corsair wars while drinking alcohol and becoming increasingly intoxicated.
She’d begun to settle into the more casual aspects of her fame. Connecting with fans and acknowledging the growing following she was accumulating. She still let stories slip about the people close to her. Funny stories and more concerning anecdotes bring the conditions of the war and the personalities of those surviving it to light.
Anakin Skywalker’s fame grew every day. Every battle he won, every image snapped of him, every word from Ahsoka fueling his fame into a ravenous living thing. Supporters of him even became a sort of online opposition to Ahsoka. Personally jaded by her behavior and the perceived slights against their favorite figure. The dismissive way she made fun of him inciting hatred. But still, they hung on her every word. Carefully gleaning every crumb of information about him from his former padawan.
And the clones as well. The budding fan following bloomed like fresh blossoms in the sweet breeze of Naboo’s spring. Spreading pollen like a seasonal aphrodisiac. Rex remained the man on top. The most easily recognizable and famous clone. Even casual citizens could identify him. His fans, while not as feral as Anakin’s, still scrounged the web for any image of him. Collages and slow-motion edits are saved to personal folders. Comments that should never see the light of day left beneath them.
Since their sudden spike in fame holorecordings of the front had increased in volume by a lot. Few from actual reputable sources though. Most were poorly captured personal recordings. But every one was treasured by the rapidly growing following.
Ahsoka’s fans had dedicated blogs with fancy colors matching her features and specialized fonts. Decorated all over in pictures of her, neatly organized folders containing interviews, articles, images, and short edited videos of her from any source.
This week she has made an appearance on a program that primarily interviews young people who’ve survived crisis. It frames itself as a welcoming psychological and social deconstruction with a light-hearted tone. Known for being controversial not only for the content it discusses but also for the host’s willingness to joke about hard topics.
The episode has hardly launched before every blog on the web has it’s thumbnail posted on its page.
Ahsoka leans back casually, her blue top scrunching up around her waist as she tips her head back and laughs.
When the video plays Ahsoka’s chin dips down from its raised position and she rests an arm on the table in front of her.
The frame shifts towards the other end of the table where two men sit. One a Nikto with Grey skin and wide ridges that fanned from the shape of his eye sockets accentuating the roundness of his face. The other a Rodian with a light green complexion and very lax body language as he slouched in his seat.
The Nikto turns to the recorder, “Hello everyone, and welcome to “The Table”. Pour yourself a drink, pull up a chair, and join us as we get the opportunity to speak with the fabulous Ahsoka Tano.” His voice is low and soothing like a nighttime subspace channel. Each word enunciated clearly but softly.
“Hello Ahsoka, how are you this evening.”
“I am here, I’m open, and I’m feeling brave.” Ahsoka was not able to school her voice into the same melodic timbre as the man had but she tried to match the speed at which he spoke at least. Giving each word its moment in the spotlight. Each word had also been a deliberate choice. A call back to the themes of the show, previous episodes of guests who sought to find some sort of strength in sharing their experiences.
“That is a powerful start to this discussion, Ahsoka, thank you for joining us this evening. In the past, we’ve had guests who were victims of the war come and share their experiences with us and our viewers. The lovely Mitsy Perkou shared with us the experience of her village’s raid by the Separatist military only a handful of episodes ago. But no guest of ours has ever been as famous as you. Ahsoka, how are you handling that pressure?”
A sardonic smirk tugged at her face as the camera cut back to her quickly.
“Poorly, I’m sure. There isn’t a reg manual for it.”
That earned a polite chuckle.
“I don’t think I’m suited for it actually. I’ve never been the kind of person that wants to be in front of the camera.”
The Nikto, Tso’bel’vo or Tso for short, frowned slightly at that. “You wouldn’t guess it. You seem so casual.”
Ahsoka nods though her expression is not one of agreement. “I have a lot of experience performing, I guess you could say. Holding the rank I did required me to act my role in the worst of circumstances.”
“So you describe it as an act?” The other host, Knar Dann, asked.
Ahsoka made a hesitating noise. “Ehh, sort of? I don’t mean to describe it as a lie, just- a job. You know? My job was to be a commander. Which meant I had to behave a certain way.”
“And now that you’re acting as a- what exactly is your current position?”
“I like to think of myself as an ambassador, though I suppose my opponents choice of protester or agitator might fit as well.”
There was another polite chuckle. Both of their voices tempered into a low melodic baritone that set the mood. Like some kind of late night candle lit confessional.
“But if you mean to ask me whether this public persona I have now is an act, then I’d have to say, only so much as everyone else’s is. I have a goal, a job to perform, and I will behave in the manner that accomplishes it. Not unlike the way you gentlemen speak in a practiced way to set the mood for the content you make. I’m sure you don’t croon into the ears of your friends and family the same way you do into your recorders.” Her grin was conspiratorial and teasing as she lifted the drink clasped between her hands and sipped at it.
Knar’s snout curled slightly in a bashful look. “No, I suppose we do perform for the audience a bit. Take time to think about the way we speak.”
Ahsoka nods in triumph. “Exactly. Performing an outward appearance for a desired outcome is only disingenuous so long as you do it in a way that it not true to yourself. A persona is just a facet of yourself.”
“Then you consider yourself to be a commander then?” Tso asked, catching Ahsoka off guard.
A wounded look flitted across her face. “I can’t claim the title anymore. It was stripped from me, legally. But-” she hesitated, seeming to think over her words. “I spent too long being one to ever not be again. I am a commander. Even if there’s no one to command now.”
“So it’s become a permanent facet of yourself.” Tso offered.
“I- yes. It’s a part of me that I can never separate from myself. And I wouldn’t want to. I was molded this way by people who mean too much to me to just throw it away.”
“Introduce us to this Ahsoka. Share a facet that is more than the ambassador. Let us meet the commander.” Tso urged.
Ahsoka’s brows drew down and her smile became awkward. “I’m not sure how, without anyone to command-” Tso waved a hand to cut her off.
“You’ve spoken about your men before. They were the ones you commanded, without them there is no commander, so introduce us to them. Who molded you into the commander?”
Ahsoka turned her face to her shoulder, momentarily overwhelmed with emotion. This atmosphere really does work to unarmor you.
“That would be Rex.” She said his name low like a whisper. “He was my Captain. Many of you know that. I met him on Christophsis, my first campaign. I was a brand new padawan. I had barely left Coruscant before. Now I was in the midrim, alone practically, I knew no one. And It was a war. I’d never seen war before. It wasn’t new to Christophsis. They’d been through three sieges by the time I'd arrived. Lost three thousand men on the surface. Didn’t bury them, just left their bodies where they fell. I’d never even seen a dead body before.”
There was a moment of silence as Ahsoka took another sip from her mug and leaned against her elbows, drawing in on herself as her eyes took on a far away look.
“That long into occupation the men were worn. They’d been there for months. Only sporadic access to food or supplies, to showers or proper camps. They were dirty, hungry, and tired. They had no need for another jedi. They didn’t need me. I knew that. From the moment the gunship landed and a hundred dirt helmets turned in my direction. I hadn’t brought food or medicine. Nothing useful. Just myself. At no point in my life have I ever wanted so badly to be more than myself".
"I just wished I could be of use. Be more than a disappointment, ease their suffering in some way. It was so loud in the force. Battlefields always are. Pulsing pits of grief and pain. It was more than I could stand".
"Then- “ Ahsoka stops to smile again. “Then there was Anakin and Obi-wan. They were so intimidating y’know? They had these huge reputations. Anakin hadn’t wanted a padawan. He outright rejected me, y’know.”
“He did?” Knar couldn’t help but interrupt in his shock.
“He did. You can’t blame him for it. It was months into that campaign. He’d lost so many men there. Then to have a padawan thrown at him. It must have been terrifying. At the Time i thought he didn’t think I was good enough. I thought he was arrogant and stubborn, which he is, but. The truth is we were both scared. Both scared of all that I wasn’t. I was not a soldier. I was not trained for a war. But neither of us dwelled too long on that. There was no going back. Anakin might be arrogant and cocky, but that’s just because he’s really unstoppable. When he accepted I was going to be his padawan, he made his mind up that I would be the best padawan commander in the GAR. What Anakin sets his mind to, he usually accomplishes.”
So he assigned Rex to me. Or really assigned me to Rex. Rex has always been an overqualified Captain. He was way more suited to my job than I. But I don't think either of us were really prepared to have him train me. He's not a trainer you know? And I wasn't like the other young soldiers. I don't think either him or Anakin really knew what to do with me.
Rex took the order to train me and had to figure out how all on his own. He taught me everything I know. From combat to busywork to how to give orders.” Ahsoka chuckles, “I was practically attached to his elbow for the first six months. The clones would call that hanging from his Kama.”
“So he was your instructor?”
“Yes. But also my subordinate. It was a strange dynamic. But Rex is the kind of guy that can adapt to anything. He can become anything he needs to be. Accomplishing anything.”
“You admire him.” Tso says.
Ahsoka smiles again, something small and private with pain behind her eyes. “Yes, I do.”
“So what was your job as commander then?”
“Well, when it wasn’t following Rex around. I handled the major flow of forms in and out of the 501st. All Captains and Lieutenants would be responsible for their own factions and what ever forms they had, whether rec forms or reports would go up the ranks until it got to me. Most forms would have already gone through a commander or Rex and I’d just have to scan them for a couple key details and sign off on them.”
“Unless they were something more serious like Disciplinary reports, or Casualty lists, then I’d need to write them up myself.”
“I was also in charge of final inspections for the camp and Barracks, signing off on medical reports, and assigning appropriate punishments for any incidents that happened on my ship.”
Knarr raised one dubious brow at her. “You were in charge of disciplining the troops?”
“Which means they weren’t disciplined.” Tso’s smile had turned mischievous.
Ahsoka couldn’t help but grin back. “I’ve certainly punished a handful of men in my day. My ship was my responsibility, as was the health and safety of every man on it…I may have been lenient on occasion.”
Tso’s tilted his head in disbelief.
“Okay, so maybe I deferred to Rex on that one. Listen, if a problem was big enough to make it to my desk, then the trooper was already in hot water with all his COs. I couldn’t exactly override Appo or Hardcase and tell them they couldn’t discipline their men. I may have reduced the punishments on occasion.”
“So you're deflecting blame onto the other COs?”
“No no. I did punish a couple of men. I did not tolerate fighting on my ship. At least not the kind that happened off the training mats and drew blood. I’ve certainly written a couple of troops up for that. But outside of their immediate physical safety. I honestly didn’t care what they got up to. As far as I was concerned, if they could get whatever mischief they were cooking up past Rex, then I wasn’t going to rat them out. I’ve had men sneaking out of camps, smuggling contraband, smoking on the job. What do I care?”
“Not even to hold your rank?” Knarr asked dubiously.
“Oh, I didn’t need to smoke a battalion to “solidify my rank”, I did on a couple of occasions, when they really deserved it. But- Okay, I’m not going to name names, but some of the troops cannot lie to save their own lives. And watching them fail spectacularly at trying to shoo away smoke nonchalantly while sweating bullets and putting the butt out on their own shin plate, it’s not worth actually getting them in trouble. Let the man have a puff as far as I’m concerned. I know they aren’t sneaking anything bigger past me because they’re incapable of it. They scatter like insects when the light flips on anytime I catch them doing something they aren’t supposed to. They’re just as bad as the initiates.”
“So the kid commander was soft then?”
Ahsoka scoffs, “Lenient not soft. I was still in charge of their training, you know? Troopers don’t stop training once they reach a certain rank. The war demands a constant evolution in our battle strategy. We have to keep up with the droids as much as they keep up with us. I don’t care if your a sergeant or an ARC or a Commander. You are on the field with the men wearing shebs from one drill to the next. If I needed to punish someone for any reason, under the table without the official reports that stay on their record. I could, I did. I was not their favorite trainer to be sure.”
“I suppose you couldn’t afford to be soft with all of those men.” Knarr agrees.
Ahsoka nods, “That was one of the first things that Rex taught me. I couldn’t fake my rank. I couldn’t just sit on it and do nothing. Delegate the work to everybody else. That’s weakness on a battlefield. I would have died. I had to be a commander. I had to walk like one. Talk like one. Fight like one. Put the fear of the maker in you like one. He wouldn’t let me do anything else. Wouldn’t let anyone treat me like I was anything else. I was a commander first, a jedi second, and everything else last.”
Tso’s frow filled the screen as the camera turned back to him and Knarr. “Isn’t that isolating though? You are a female, and a very young one at that. It isn’t a secret that human men and those in your demographic have a certain dynamic, a social distance, your master was a human man, as was his master. How could you stand to be the only teen girl in the GAR?”
“Okay, whoa. There’s a lot to unpack there. Firstly I am not the only teen girl. There’s a handful of us actually. They just don’t like to be plastered all over the holonet and I’m not trying to out them.”
“Secondly, there’s something you are fundamentally misunderstanding about the clones. They are a minority class of people who face discrimination and hardship because of their station. I can’t even call them second class citizens because they aren’t citizens. They don’t have to work through six hundred years of social stigmas and learned bad behaviors before they decide to respect me. Many of the clones I worked with met me before they were ever introduced to the things that society tells us should be the dynamic between our species. I won’t pretend like there weren’t weird parts. But they always approached me with respect for my rank before anything else. And I always endeavor to show them the same respect.”
“Thirdly, yes being the first non-human male in my lineage for five generations was actually more of a struggle than it was dealing with the troops. Mostly because Anakin can be a little thick headed sometimes. I think he actually tended to forget I wasn’t a human boy. So yeah, it was awkward sometimes, and kind of embarrassing. But there was never a time where I thought it got between us. The jedi aren’t like that. Anakin wouldn’t dislike me because of my sex or race, and Obi-wan wouldn’t either. Although, I do think he was hoping I’d be a bit more laid back and mannerful since i wasn’t a human boy….he might have been disappointed that me and Anakin were so similar actually.”
The camera cuts back to Knarr whose holding both his hands up in surrender after Ahsoka’s more passionate tirade. “Okay, maybe we deserve that lecture. There’s certainly more here than we understand. Jedi practices are so foreign to most of us. Instead of us presuming, why don’t you tell us. What were the awkward little differences really life for you?”
Ahsoka’s brows furrow, she’s taken an effort to calm herself back to the mood of the show “Well, nothing crazy. I never really used the public showers for one. If we were on ship I'd use Anakin’s personal Fresher. Dirtside I’d reserve time to have them empty. Usually with a member of Torrent standing guard. I never slept alone. Which is normal for Togruta, but Anakin really insisted on it. He didn’t want anyone sneaking into my tent so I always slept beside him or Rex, frequently in a large group of men. My closest brothers. So there was always too many men for anyone to sneak around. I think he might have done that to keep me from sneaking out of camp as well though.” She chuckled.
“Also there was a lot of red tape with the medics. They tried to limit my treatment to two medics to reduce the amount of people that handled me when I was injured or vulnerable. It wasn’t always possible but I was supervised by the med droids or Anakin. I was always moved to a private exam room.”
“It wasn’t really all that awkward most of the time. The fact that I was a girl was mostly incidental. No one really cared unless it immediately mattered. The only really awkward instances I can think of were related to menstruation or when we went out on leave and suddenly the men were forced to remember that everyone else thought of me as a girl.”
Tso and Knarr shared a look. “Ahsoka, we’re aren’t asking what was done for you or how the troops felt about it. We’re asking what it was like for you, emotionally.”
Ahsoka faltered…”It wasn’t all that different from being the only Togruta in my Creche clan. The jedi, they don’t really believe in organizing anyone by species or gender. I wasn’t raised around other Togruta. There was one other child in the creche and he wasn’t all that interested in me. Then there was master Ti-.. I socialized with the Twi’leks of course. We had things in common. But we aren’t the same. Togruta instinct…it can be pretty antithetical to the jedi code. We’re territorial, possessive, clingy. Not behaviors that reflect well on a jedi.”
She took a breath that shuddered almost imperceptibly on the end. “I learned to sleep in my own bunk as a youngling. I wasn’t permitted to scent mark my friends. I was shuffled around a lot. Different groups of younglings to socialize with, to expand my horizons. If anything the GAR was kind of freeing for me. Anakin has always been a rule breaker. His lineage is famous for ignoring the council. So he told me to ignore them. To do what I felt was right. I slept in groups, I built a nest, a real one. I scented it. Then my room. Then Anakin. Then Rex. It felt right that they were mine.”
“The truth is, living with the Jedi, I was only permitted to indulge in being Togruta on short field trips, or in private moments. I was always supposed to be a jedi first. To be the best version of myself. But in the GAR, I could be as Togruta as I wanted to. Anakin never cared.”
She takes a moment. Clearly drawing all the emotion back into herself. Trying to release it into the force. To attain some peace. She inhales and exhales several times.
“To be clear, I don’t think the Jedi were being discriminatory. I just think that maybe being a Jedi, at least by the modern expectation, is easier for some species than others. I think maybe the Togruta are at a disadvantage.”
The hosts give Ahsoka the time she needs to collect herself, well versed in emotional guests, Before Tso addresses her again.“Ahsoka, you’ve spoken a lot in the past and today about how much work you put into being a good Commander. That was very important to you?”
“Yes of course it was.”
“But also challenging.You felt you were at a disadvantage, either because of your race or your age. So you worked to overcome that.”
“Yes it was challenging. I had so much to learn in such little time. But i worked very hard. I did basically flash training. Between combat and leadership, flying, coordination and strategy and my jedi training. It was a lot. It was hard.”
“You rose to the challenge. As a jedi you felt you were at a disadvantage yet you strove to overcome it. To be the best Jedi you could be. And as a Commander, you did the same. Trying to catch up with everyone around you, trying to prove your worth.”
“I- yes, I suppose, I couldn’t be a bad one. That was never an option.”
“My question is, do you think you were a good Jedi?”
“I- don’t understand.”
“You stepped down from the GAR because you believed you were no longer able to do your job as a commander. You stepped down from the Jedi even though they were offering you a promotion. Was it because you didn’t think you were able to adequately perform as a jedi anymore?”
“I- that situation was very complicated- I don’t think I would have been able to be a knight. Not on my own.”
“So you don’t think you could do it.”
“I was only a padawan for a little over a year. Most Padawans train for five years minimum. It’s unheard of to be knighted so quickly. With no trial, with no accomplishment.”
“You think you weren’t accomplished?”
“I wasn’t. I hadn’t had the time to accomplish anything. The council tried to tell me that my legal trial counted. But I hadn’t actually accomplished anything. I couldn’t evade capture. I couldn’t clear my own name. I had to be saved by Anakin. I failed at everything I tried to do.”
“You failed.” Tso’s statement broke the tension with a cold sort of dread that spread it’s way across Ahsoka’s face.
“Ahsoka, do you feel that you failed your trial?”
“I-I did. I mean- I didn’t succeed. I mean-”
This interview turned interrogation was like a train wreck. Watching Ahsoka get steam rolled. She’d curled into herself. Her puffy blue sleeves scrunching around her shoulders as she curled into herself. Looking for all the galaxy like a youngling in the principals offices. Like she was confessing to cheating on a quiz. Like they might threaten to call her parents.
“Do you think you were a good Jedi.?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay,” Knarr's voice broke between the two of them. “That's okay. The goal here is to learn about the war, not to interrogate the Jedi.” he said pointedly. Though it doesn't escape the audience's notice that he made no move to stop Tso before now.
“I think we can all conclude that there's a high expectation of the Jedi within this war. An expectation that is unfairly high. You've expressed before the sentiment that you think the jedi shouldn't have as much rank as they do.”
Ahsoka is still clearly trying to gather herself. There's a stiffness to her movements as she rights her sleeves and picks her mug up once more. Her face is blank like she hasn’t decided what expression to put there yet.
“Yes. Umm. I don't believe it's as simple as removing them of course. The Jedi act as one of the only barriers between the clones and the natborn ranks.” Her words are stilted now. The cadence of the script is too obvious to ignore now. These are practiced words.
-
The rest of the interview consisted of questions about the way that the Jedi failed to prepare its padawans for the front lines. Or how the ranks of clones organized themselves. But Ahsoka was not as active a participant in the rest of the interview. She had gone cold. She only answered direct technical questions about training.
The rest felt unimportant compared to that climax, that window smashing moment of realization. The expression on her face was all that anyone could talk about.
The citizens of the republic had been dubious about the presence of the padawans for some time. Not just because of Ahsoka’s media presence, but also for the glimpses of other children that had been spotted on the battlefield. Their short brown robes blending into their master’s as they tuck in close by their sides.
This was a victory against the Jedi. Another weight in the scales towards Palpatine's hand. It had been a mistake. That's all Ahsoka could think about after. She'd let herself be vulnerable and the snake had struck.
She played pawn again.
If she wanted to steal the game from him she'd need to learn to play it a lot better. Or learn to swipe the board clear. Take his pieces from him.
-
In his war tent, on a dusty battlefield Half the galaxy away a Jedi listened to the audio recording, not bothering to try to play the video when the resolution would be so scrambled.
He breathed shallowly as he always did without his mask. A small bowl of rations on the table before him, though his stomach had no tolerance for it.
His long fingers shifted listlessly through the grains, playing with them to occupy his hand and eyes as the voices murmured to him from his holodevice.
He didn't like the way that she was being spoken to. She was a strong one. He'd always known that. He had watched her fight, teeth gnashing against every challenge since he'd brought her to the temple. Tucked into the corner of his elbow, face hidden in his robes.
She's grown so strong. So sturdy. In the face of obstacles she never should have faced.
He'd never seen her back down. Not until that day in the council chambers. A horrible twisted smile cracked across her face, like her heart breaking in front of them. He was shocked then. Rocked back from the force of grief that enveloped them all.
He doesn't know how he let things go so wrong, so quickly. Ahsoka was young. Barely a year into her padawan training. It had only taken a year for the war to break her. To take the eager light in her young eyes and smother it. Ahsoka had always struggled with her empathy. With the burden of feeling all the emotions of those around her but never really understanding them. The root of them, the cause.
He remembers her huffing through crossed arms. Angry that she couldn’t understand her pier’s intentions just through their emotions alone. He had patiently explained to her that emotions were far more complicated than any one sentient could understand. That seeking answers in them was no better than making assumption. That you could never guess how someone thinks by how they feel.
And yet he had hoped. Hoped that she could feel them all reaching their hearts out to her. Regret and apology and love waiting for her. All she had to do was forgive them.
But Ahsoka didn’t trust in the love of the Jedi anymore. She didn’t believe in it. And how could she when hearts full of love can condemn you to death?
Ahsoka did not forgive them. And neither had Plo. He hadn’t forgiven himself. Choosing instead to torture himself this way. To listen to her words now, as he should have before, and seek intentions between the lines. Trying to guess what she was thinking now. What she was feeling.
And maybe that had made him all the more vulnerable to her now. In this moment. Listening to this recording.
Because when the host insists again, to know if Ahsoka believes that she was ever a good jedi, and her voice breaks with her response. He can feel it. All of her doubt, uncertainty, fear. Lost just like she was nine years ago when he found her all alone. She was lost.
Maybe it was his failing all along. Ahsoka had been a wonderful Jedi. Bright and smart and full of determination. But if he had brushed off her low confidence. Allowed her measure of herself to only be in the eyes of the other Jedi. Then her doubt, in the Jedi and in herself, was his fault. He had failed her.
A breath far too deep burned his lungs as the impure air filled his body. He clenched his eyes against the pain. Moisture spread down his cheeks until the salt invaded his mouth.
How had things gone wrong so quickly? Small mistakes, doubts, and fears festered until they became infection. Spreading through the ranks, spreading their sickness to all the Jedi.