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“How do I know it's really you?”
Albedo fixed his vacant stare on the slim silhouette in the door.
“How do I know it's not the Hexenzirkel?”
The icy accusation pierced the thick fog that had settled in Albedo’s unseeing eyes, and for the first time in many hours, he felt himself blink.
“Kae…” His dry mouth peeled open around the familiar name, but the frigid stare that greeted him was not the man he called for. But then, he'd been sitting in darkness for so long it was only natural to be blinded by the light. He dragged his heavy tongue across his chapped lips, oiling the clumsy machine that called across the room. “Kaeya.”
The figure in the door remained a mocking shadow. The build was unmistakable, an elongated triangle with its tip rooted at the shadow's feet: a blade's edge pressed against Albedo’s heavy heart from the distance between them.
“Are you afraid of me?” He cranked out mechanically, the stiff gears of his voice box groaning against each other.
“That depends on who I'm speaking to.”
The decrepit machinery seized, and Albedo felt his insides fail him, the corroded parts straining harder and harder against his ribcage.
“I'll never forget the first time I kissed you.”
The faulty machinations thudded dangerously inside him, threatening to blow and take everything with it in Kaeya's silence. He didn't move, didn't say anything. The fissure in Albedo’s core screeched as the defect propagated, cleaving further into his fragile inner workings.
“You removed your eyepatch and told me you'd never felt so naked.”
Drenched from head to toe, proud stance beaten down by torrential rain, Albedo could never forget the image of the ever confident cavalry captain sodden with sorrow on his doorstep. Alcohol in great excess had melted his icy blue eye into the despair that ran down his cheeks as he proclaimed to the half awake investigations captain that it was his brother's birthday.
His lanky limbs tangled in each other as he tripped through the door, collapsing unceremoniously in the slighter captain's arms. Sadness laid him impossibly heavy even despite Albedo’s synthetic strength.
“Dizzy…” he'd mumbled, the bonds between his lilting cadence of speech dissipating into drunken slurry. He dragged his hand down the right side of his face, dexterous fingers haphazardly clawing the eyepatch away. In that moment, the burden of the Alberich legacy laid its heft in the wells of darkness beneath Kaeya’s eyes and the troubled cleft between his brows. It festered in the corrosion of the Abyss that gave the one-eyed peacock a new name. Though he was Pavo Ocellus to Teyvat, to Khaenri’ah he was Cauda Pavonis, the predecessor to Albedo in the alchemical stages. His right pupil shone iridescent as a peacock’s feathers within the inky blackness of the cursed eye, and a jagged scar marred the skin across it.
Albedo didn't ask. Kaeya didn't tell.
It was the next day with the sobered cavalry captain cramped awkwardly on his couch that Albedo appreciated what he was witnessing. Kaeya didn't bother dispelling the shadows of his past, his cheerful face somber and his uncanny right eye exposed.
“I'm sorry you've had to see me like this.” And, gingerly touching the scar across his eye, he added, “I've never felt so utterly naked.”
And Albedo, who had essentially raised his sister with this man, finally understood the incessant craving to capture Kaeya in his artwork. He'd been searching for something, drawing him over and over again but never quite capturing it. He'd drawn him so often that only three strokes were necessary to capture the essence of him. Mere gestures evoked his mannerisms. But by nature, Albedo always sought more: he needed the ultimate truth.
Now, on the couch before him sat that ultimate truth he'd fought for. The true form of Kaeya Alberich, or better yet just Kaeya, an eccentric young man making the best of a doomed fate. So what if he'd stumbled in, a scared child at heart maneuvering the intoxicated body of his awkwardly lanky adult self? And so what if he'd screwed up his pretty androgynous features with hideous tears and gasping sobs? So what if his eye reflected the Abyss itself, a symbol that struck fear into even the most powerful Fatui Harbingers?
Albedo craved him.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was standing over the couch, gloveless hands cradling the shadow-ridden face. Heavy eye bags slumped in the definitive cheekbones that Albedo’s flawless fingers caressed, and a weary set of mismatched eyes failed to comprehend his actions.
He couldn't have stripped Kaeya more bare if they'd been skin to skin in bed. The subtle motion of his fingers across Kaeya’s cheeks trapped the air in his body at the back of his throat, and even despite his awkward position to keep his long limbs confined to the couch, his chest remained expanded as his breath caught.
Oh, and Albedo craved him, hungered for his vulnerability and the fulfillment of the trust that Kaeya had placed in him to expose this ultimate truth.
He didn't waste energy thinking about romance. He wasn't bothered beyond passive curiosity about humanity's carnal lust. The idea of a relationship had always seemed tedious. And yet.
The gentle, almost cautious press of his lips to Kaeya’s became a moment frozen in time.
He'd never kissed anyone. Never thought about it, never cared. It didn't make his mind race or his heart pound or his palms sweaty. Perhaps that was just his homuncular nature.
Instead, his mind went silent.
He was always thinking, always analyzing the world around him, but the contact of his lips to Kaeya’s shut everything down. There were no words, and no physical symptoms except something blooming in the barren factory of his chest, something organic and innocent. The light pressure of Kaeya’s lips in return coaxed the growth from its seed, and something incredibly human poked its head from the tough little shell.
As he sat in the dark room watching the sharp silhouette in the doorway, he felt the delicate bloom he'd spent so long nourishing tremble as the frost pierced its tender limbs.
“I didn't know I had the capacity to… to treasure someone like that.”
As the words left his rusted jaw, he curled around his precious blossom, baring himself to the frigid wind chill so that it might be spared.
The figure in the door inhaled deeply, then released a long, slow sigh. Then, a step forward. Creaking machinery groaned to attention as instinct straightened his spine in anticipation to stand, and the powerful jets in his thighs hissed at the ready to propel him, but none of it could fight the shackles that bound him. The Knights of Favonius understood well that no bondage would hold Gold's ultimate war machine, so they hadn't bothered with any. Worse, rather, was the blood on his hands, an ocean that sucked him deeper into its depths. He mourned the fading light of the man he loved as he sank farther into the abyssal clutches of guilt, unable to compel his limbs to reach out for salvation.
“Are you afraid of me, Kaeya?” he asked, his own voice muffled beyond the ringing in his ears as oxygen failed to fill his lungs and the pressure of so much fluid became too much to bear.
If there was an answer, he didn't hear it as his vision went dark and he accepted that this was the end. Or it should have been, except for the cool hands tilting his chin up, forcing him in the direction of the light.
And so like any drowning man, he flung himself into the arms of safety. He clung to whatever he could find: the down feathers of an expensive stole, the silky luxury of navy locks, it didn't matter. He sucked in air with animalistic impulse, tearing into the giving mouth that resurrected him. He needed to be closer, needed to be safe.
So Kaeya held him. His arms became the impenetrable iron bonds the knights needed to contain such a monster, and Albedo reveled in their security. They needed to drug him, put him to sleep so he couldn't hurt anyone, and they were doing a good job. He shut his eyes and drank Kaeya in like a good little prisoner. He’d never hurt anyone again if they maintained such stellar confinement. He'd happily stay there for a sentence of life in prison.
“Albedo,” Kaeya managed breathlessly when he finally found the strength to hold his wild eyed captive in place. “I need you to tell me what happened.”
“I destroyed everything.”
Kaeya’s thumb trailed down Albedo’s throat to the incriminating star. Where he'd been reverent and gentle before, he now pressed a powerful finger into the offending symbol, causing Albedo to involuntarily swallow.
“Liar.”
The icy accusation tore a further cleft in his failing core.
“I'm not a fool, Albedo. Your mothers, both of them are of the Hexenzirkel. You're nothing more than a pawn, albeit a powerful one.”
“So you did know.” In turn, Kaeya had never asked, and Albedo had never told. But Kaeya was of Khaenri’ah, and further possessed a brilliant analytical mind. “But do you truly believe me?”
“I don't believe a vessel should be punished for the crimes of a greater power.”
Albedo’s brow furrowed at the image of Kaeya’s right eye in his mind. Kaeya Alberich, a descendant of the Abyss Order's founders.
“Now tell me what happened, Albedo.”
With a deep sigh, Albedo allowed the worn out joints to collapse to their naturally rusted state, leaving him curled protectively over his dearest treasure. His jaw sat heavy on Kaeya’s shoulder as he worked It open to answer.
“I was summoned to a formal council before the Hexenzirkel.”
Though he couldn't see Kaeya’s face, he could sense the hard line of his mouth at this revelation.
“They offered me a path to fulfilling my master's final assignment. I could find the truth of this world if I made it to the other side of their chessboard.”
Kaeya inhaled sharply, but said nothing. His idle hands began to rub restless circles into Albedo’s hunched back, and Albedo let his battered body fall into further disrepair.
“So I fought my way through. When I returned, the Traveler had subdued my devastation and you were pinning my arms behind my back on the ground.”
The memory gauged a cavity in his chest, threatening the quivering blossom that resided there. He'd woken up face down in unbearable heat from the power discharged from his slight frame and familiar hands charged with cryo as his respite. But the cold stung, and the silence was fatal. Since regaining consciousness, that same frigid silence had not ceased until Kaeya visited him here in his temporary holding cell.
Even now, Kaeya’s silence made Albedo squirm. Unlike before, he at least had the cradle of his arms to assure him he wasn't alone and the rhythmic pressure of Kaeya’s absentminded massage. Still, Kaeya’s wits were sharp, and his words were sharper.
Albedo silently pleaded for the critical injury at the tip of Kaeya’s silver tongue. The soulless power source he called a heart was already critically damaged, so if it had to be destroyed, he wanted it to be by Kaeya’s blade. He'd let Kaeya’s ice seep into the maze of dislocations, expanding and forcing apart the broken seams until his fragile little chalk heart burst, leaving his greatest treasure, his cherished bloom exposed to the world's cruel whims.
Kaeya’s hand halted, and Albedo felt the pressure in his core immediately expand, the fragile chalk walls ready to blow as his heart shattered.
“I don't take family lightly.”
Albedo dug his teeth into his lower lip, clenching his jaw with the effort of preparing for the devastating blast.
“That means living by the vows I made to you.” The hard edge in Kaeya’s voice trailed off by the end of his sentence, the severity of his sentiment softened by fondness. With it, the relative darkness of the room gave way to Windrise, where Kaeya had convinced him he needed help collecting materials but instead treated him to a quaint little picnic by the water. Since they'd morphed into something more than colleagues or friends or even coparents, Kaeya had been softer with him, reminiscent of the way those who'd known him in childhood described him.
Albedo was helpless to sweets, and Kaeya was perhaps the most potent of the sweet things he craved. Before they'd known each other too well, he would've scoffed at Kaeya’s antics and insisted they return to the supposed task at hand, or better yet not agree to such a nonsensical mission at all. At that point though, it had been a few years since he'd pressed that fateful kiss to Kaeya’s lips, and with their hectic schedules he jumped at the opportunity to spend one on one time with him.
It was a beautiful day with the sunlight scattering under the grand tree of Venessa and a whimsical breeze dancing through their hair. He was as light and carefree as the dandelion seeds as he laughed at Kaeya’s shenanigans and eagerly accepted bites of the exquisite cake Kaeya had ordered from Fontaine, just because.
As golden hour hit, they laid in the soft wild grasses and held each other, decorating each other's faces in innocent, giggly kisses. The sun gave Kaeya on top a halo-like glow, warming Albedo’s cheeks as they robbed each other of kiss after kiss.
“Can I ask you something?” Kaeya had smiled into a kiss up his jaw. He'd given some noncommittal response, preoccupied mapping a blind trail of kisses across Kaeya’s skin in search of his lips. To his dismay, he felt Kaeya pull away. He began to voice his disdain when he peeled his eyes open, finding the six foot four cavalry captain on one knee.
“I want to cherish you for eternity.”
He didn't even get to ask. Albedo flung his arms around him and squeezed, and in turn he was secured in the arms of the one he craved to settle with at night and eagerly wake up to in the morning.
“How will we tell anyone now?” Albedo asked weakly, voice grating through the gears straining with rust and neglect. “Your brother would demand my execution.”
“I'll stand by you, no matter what.”
“I've killed, Kaeya. No one would blame you for standing against me or breaking off the engagement. No one even has to know we were ever…” Something odd happened this time as the machinery seized, and Albedo’s eyes burned. A critical malfunction. His systems were failing so badly the fluids were threatening to flood the already rusted inner workings.
“Oh dove,” Kaeya chuckled incredulously, running his hands through Albedo’s hair and pulling him closer. “I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew this was a possibility.”
Albedo swallowed thickly. Something had burst, and the excess fluid was clogging his throat and fuming material that continued to burn behind his eyes.
“Inevitably, our heritage was going to bite us, but we're not alone, Albedo. We have each other.”
Albedo inhaled forcefully through the bile in his throat, power washing the burn from his skull and remaining composed as he clung to his anchor.
Even still, his deepest fear crept up to haunt him. If the Hexenzirkel seized him now, in the arms of his beloved, Kaeya was powerful, but he was only one person against the most devastating weapon Gold had ever devised. Worse, he wouldn't harm him, wouldn't defend himself the same way he'd defend others for fear of causing his feral fiancé pain.
“Are you afraid of me?” he rasped, holding on ever tighter as final systems failed, and the pressure became too much for his fragile chalk heart to bear. Corrosive fluid cleaved stinging trails down his face, and his body quaked from the inside.
Kaeya’s hold remained secure, and he ran his fingers rhythmically through Albedo’s pale hair. “I have nothing to fear, my gentle dove.”
A ragged cry tore itself from Albedo’s throat, and the rusted plates of machinery fell away from him in heavy pieces. He fried the control systems, smashed the smoldering thing to nonexistence and suffocated it with Kaeya’s collected cool. It crashed from its loft on the Hexenzirkel's strings, the powerful tethers snapping as Kaeya’s teeth pierced the accursed star on his throat. Rust burst off his stiff joints as he leapt to his feet, stretching out his limbs to capture the stumbling man in front of him. Now it was he who held Kaeya in the security of his arms, holding him up against the wall and reaching on his toes to provide critical care to the both of them.
Kaeya clung to his slight frame, confident Albedo wouldn't let him fall as his knees gave out and he surrendered to Albedo's fierce kiss. Only the pressure of his back pinned to the wall held him up. He dug his fingers beneath the scrap metal, ripping away the weight that confined his beloved, clawing for the treasure that Albedo harbored inside.
Albedo let the flood take over, the critical leak no longer escaping from his eyes. The burn had sunk into the pit of his stomach, churning restlessly and spiking when his rough kiss drew smothered whimpers from the man in his arms. He smashed the doomed systems before they overheated, and the rush of adrenaline left him hot and humid further down. No metal could withstand the heat emanating from him, no mechanical bonds could hold him hostage. Only Kaeya’s kiss kept him rooted to the mortal plane, and as he gasped for air, Albedo went in for his throat.
There was nothing more deliciously human than the way Kaeya pleaded, swallowing as Albedo’s tongue slipped obscenely through the loop in his choker. Greedy hands took advantage of the proud opening in Kaeya's shirt, finding a home over a powerful pectoral. He squeezed, and Kaeya squirmed restlessly, hands slipping down Albedo’s back as they both slid down the wall.
They kissed in the carnage they'd just caused, ancient scrap metal from caging Albedo’s heart strewn about. With the last of his bonds discarded, Kaeya seized Albedo’s most cherished possession. He clung to the resilient little blossom, his own devotion feeding its flexible limbs and nourishing the healthy roots that found their home in every inch of Albedo’s body. Its petals blossomed under the shower of Kaeya’s affection, and Albedo in all his humanity was radiant.
No longer afforded the immunity of a machination, Albedo sucked in air with heaving breaths, studying the hazy eye of his fiancé. Kaeya’s broad chest rose and fell with the same urgency beneath his hand, and Albedo rested their foreheads against each other as they recovered.
“I know what you are, Albedo.”
Somehow, Albedo understood that the sentiment did not refer to his homuncular nature. Reverent hands pushed his hair from his face, settling on his jaw as Kaeya peered at him with adoration that made his heart melt.
“I know who you are, and I will protect you.”
Kaeya grasped his bloodstained hands, and under his gentle touch the last of it drained to the smashed pieces of the discarded Hexenzirkel bonds.
“We'll get through this together.”
Kaeya kissed him softly, and Albedo’s guilt-ridden anxiety fell silent as he remembered who he was. He was Albedo, and he was human in every sense of the word. Human in his empathy for the suffering families, in his guilt for unforgivable crimes orchestrated through his bound hands, and in the capacity to hold a family so dear to his heart.
Understanding this, the so-called chalk prince smiled into his lover's kiss.