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Jiwoong thought that by age forty, he’d have more friends than just the kid who works for him.
Don’t get him wrong— Gyuvin is fine. He’s just twenty-three, and Jiwoong’s assistant, and he’s a little bit pushy when he gets an idea into his head. That’s the whole reason why Jiwoong hired him, actually. Poached him off of the internship team at an investment bank. Gyuvin didn’t want to work in that field, anyway. He was looking for money. Jiwoong gave him money. Now, Jiwoong is suffering for his choices.
“Hyung, seriously, get over yourself. The car is outside to pick you up.”
“I really don’t see how this is any of your business, Kim Gyuvin—”
“Do you know how long it took me to clear this? I had to go through Yerim and Sooyoung and Jungeun. That’s a scary lineup! All of them agreed that you need a break, too, by the way. So, no— you’re not going to be turning around. Actually, I already called the desk and told them that they’re not allowed to sell you a ticket. Your return flight is in one week. You have a very nice hotel, and I’ve changed all the passwords on your emails. This is for the best, Jiwoong. I’m doing this as your friend.”
“You are not my friend, you are my employee.”
“I brought my boyfriend to your house last night because you were drinking beer alone on your couch at seven PM.”
“That—” Jiwoong starts, but he stops himself. That is technically true.
“— Happens once a week, yeah,” Gyuvin finishes. He snorts. “Seriously, hyung. Rik is worried about you. He never worries about anyone but me! You should feel honored, but also take it seriously. He said you looked sad drinking your beer. He thinks you need to get laid.”
“Okay, first of all— you shouldn’t be saying things like that to me— and second of all—”
“Oops!” Gyuvin starts making static noises with his mouth. “You’re cutting out, hyung! Have fun! Don’t think too hard!”
The line beeps, going dead before Jiwoong can get another word in.
Jiwoong pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a long, steadying breath. He needs caffeine before a migraine starts setting in.
The stupidest part about this is that he willingly got on the plane. He was tricked. Gyuvin told him that he needed to meet with one of his high paying clients this weekend. That he had to fly to some rural, vacation island off the Southern coast of the country because the guy was on holiday with his family. It sounded perfectly rational at the time. Jiwoong doesn’t question those kinds of things, because Gyuvin has complete control of his schedule. Gyuvin packed his bag, and ordered him the car, and Jiwoong went.
Then he landed, and Gyuvin’s text with the details of his hotel came through. A week, reservation under Kim Jiwoong, car waiting outside to whisk him away for six days of luxury.
“Christ,” Jiwoong hisses. He clicks open his phone again, going for his email app— but just as Gyuvin said, he’s been locked out. He swears. Straightens his back and walks towards the only airline counter in the tiny, regional airport lobby.
The woman at the desk smiles at him. “Good morning, how can I help you?”
“I need a return flight to Seoul,” Jiwoong says, tapping his fingers on the counter.
“Okay, we only have two flights a day, so, let me see what I can do to get you on the one this evening.”
Jiwoong breathes out a sigh of relief. Everything is going to be fine. “Thank you.”
“Can I get a name for your booking?”
“Kim Jiwoong.”
The woman’s face falls flat immediately. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Kim-nim, but we’ve been told, very specifically, by the owner of the airline to not let you book a flight.”
“The owner of the air—” Jiwoong’s eyes flick up to the sign above her head. ZB Airways. Jiwoong knows them to be a subsidy of the Shen Corporation. Gyuvin got his boyfriend’s mom to pull strings to keep Jiwoong stuck on his forced vacation.
Jiwoong lets out a long groan, dropping his head against the counter, not even caring about the germs he’s probably subjecting himself to.
“Um, Kim-nim?” The woman pokes his arm, giving him a polite smile when he lifts his head up. “I’ve been told to let you know that your driver is waiting for you outside. He should have a sign with your name on it.”
“This feels illegal.”
She gives him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Kim-nim. That’s all the information I have.”
Jiwoong sighs, picking himself up, putting one hand on the handle of his suitcase. He gives the woman a tight, petty smile before shuffling towards the doors to the car pickup.
Almost everyone has cleared out by now. There’s only one kid standing on the sidewalk, a whiteboard held in front of him with Jiwoong’s name written across it.
“Are you even old enough to drive?” Jiwoong says instead of greeting him properly. He’ll give him a good tip. It’s fine.
The kid’s face scrunches up in offense. “I’m eighteen.”
“Ah, well. Let’s go, then,” Jiwoong leans forward, squinting at his name tag. “Yujin.”
Yujin huffs, tucking his whiteboard under his arm and taking Jiwoong’s suitcase from him. He stomps over to his shiny black SUV and opens the back door for Jiwoong, not even trying to smile. Jiwoong waits to laugh until he’s in the back seat, and Yujin slams the door behind him.
This is ridiculous. His life is ridiculous.
He’s forty, and his only friend is his assistant, and he’s on a forced vacation being driven around by a teenager.
The trunk clicks shut after Jiwoong’s luggage is loaded in. Yujin rounds the car and gets into the drivers seat, and then immediately rolls up the partition so Jiwoong can’t talk to him. Jiwoong laughs out loud. He drops his skull back against the headrest and shuts his eyes.
“Great. This is great.”
⚘
Jiwoong hasn’t taken a vacation in about twenty years, give or take a few.
He barely remember the last. Maybe sometime right after he graduated from university— operating on a shoestring budget and with the express purpose of partying before he settled into adult life. Focused all his time and energy on work. Climbing the ladder.
Back then, he was working with the intention of being able to vacation later. Now, he laughs at the thought of that. Either way, he’s a little out of his element when the car pulls up in front of the resort and there’s three people waiting to personally greet him with deep bows.
“Kim-nim, welcome. It’s a pleasure to have you,” the man in the middle says with a dazzling smile. “My name is Kim Taerae, I’m the manager of the resort. I’m here to help you with anything you need, please don’t hesitate, we want this to be the best experience for you.”
“Sure,” Jiwoong says awkwardly. Before he can take his bag, the tall man on the right is taking it for him. Dark hair, youthful face.
“This is Park Gunwook, he’s one of our most trusted staff members. He’ll take your bags to your room for you,” Taerae provides with a wave of his hand.
Gunwook bows once more before flitting off with Jiwoong’s things.
Taerae shifts to his other foot, gesturing to the man on his right. “And, last but not least, Seok Matthew. Your assigned personal wellness coach for your stay.”
Jiwoong does a double take when he and Matthew lock eyes. Sandy blonde hair, a toothy smile— the kid is clearly athletic, despite his height. If Jiwoong were fifteen years younger and describing his type, it would be that.
Matthew’s smile widens when Jiwoong’s eyes catch his. He settles into his posture, popping one hip slightly, tongue running over his bottom lip. And— oh, he’s dangerous. Jiwoong hasn’t even exchanged a word with him yet, but he can tell.
“Nice to meet you, Jiwoong-hyung—”
“Matthew what did we talk about—” Taerae scolds under his breath, sounding vaguely alarmed. He turns back towards Jiwoong apologetically, hands clasped together. “I’m so sorry, Kim-nim. He’s Canadian—”
Jiwoong blinks. He’s more focused on his voice coming out at all than anything else. “It’s… fine. Hyung is fine,” he says, throat only mildly tight.
Matthew’s teeth catch on his bottom lip. His gaze zips up and down Jiwoong quickly before he folds his hands behind his back. “I look forward to working with you, hyung. You’ll have today to get settled, and we’ll meet first thing tomorrow morning to go over your goals for this week.”
“Yeah, sure. Great. Sounds good,” Jiwoong stumbles over his words. He winces at himself. Curses Gyuvin in his head for whatever kind of odd rich people shit he’s gotten Jiwoong into. A personal wellness coach? Jiwoong is perfectly well.
“Okay, thank you, Matthew,” Taerae grits through clenched teeth. He shoos Matthew off.
Matthew gives Jiwoong one more once over and a dangerous grin before he goes, putting a little swing in his step.
Jiwoong swallows around nothing, tearing his eyes away. He tugs at his collar. He can’t believe Gyuvin had him wear a suit today. It’s borderline inhumane.
Taerae’s smile falls slightly before he pumps it back up. “Sorry about that. I mean it, if you need anything, I can make it happen. We’re all friends of Shen-nim here. You’re our highest priority. If you’d feel more comfortable working with any different staff members, I can have that arranged.”
He’s clearly implying that Jiwoong can dump Matthew if he wants. Out of the gate. But, Jiwoong doesn’t want Matthew to get in trouble. Jiwoong stared first. Matthew volleyed off of him. Jiwoong can handle a kid that’s too sure of himself— he’s not worried about it. He’s an adult. He’s an executive at a media conglomerate. He’s not exactly hurting. (And, maybe he wouldn’t mind staring for a week, if he’s going to be stuck here anyway.)
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” he says.
“Okay, but if you ever change your mind, please let me know.” Taerae’s shoulders relax a bit. He straightens his back. “You can follow me, I’ll give you a tour before I take you to your room.”
⚘
The resort is expansive, and beautiful, and completely, obnoxiously luxurious. Jiwoong has a villa, which is just the equivalent to a tiny vacation house tucked away into the forested portion of the grounds. There’s a private pool, and a kitchen, and big, floor to ceiling windows along the walls.
Taerae deposits him there with a bow and a wave, handing Jiwoong a packet full of documents that he swears are necessary. Nice kid.
Jiwoong sighs, dropping down into the Alaskan king-sized bed, kicking his feet up, flipping open the folder. He dials Gyuvin with his other hand, clicking him onto speaker and setting the phone on the mattress.
“No, I’m not changing my mind,” Gyuvin answers on the first ring.
“What the fuck is this place, Kim?” Jiwoong scoffs. He thumbs through the pamphlets in his lap, reading off the titles one by one. “Deep tissue energy massage— Hypnosis therapy— Small group yoga for recentering and balancing— Fire cupping?”
“Oh, you should do that one. I hear it feels great.”
“I am not letting a stranger put flame near my body.”
“Boo,” Gyuvin deadpans. “Loosen up, old man. Ricky loves that place. He’s been going since his sixteenth birthday. He swears it’s what’s kept him ambitious.”
Jiwoong rolls his eyes, highly aware (and deeply regrettable) that Gyuvin can’t see him. “The Shen-nim they’re talking about is Ricky?”
“Duh. Who else?” Gyuvin laughs. “His mom is too old school for that sort of thing.”
“I’m too old school for this sort of thing!” Jiwoong complains, shoving his packet of treatment options off his legs.
“No you’re not. Get over yourself, Kim Jiwoong.”
“I’m going to fire you. Where’s the respect?”
“No you’re not, ahjussi.” Gyuvin snorts. “But, hey, I packed your running shoes in case you wanted to get back onto the metaphorical horse. It’s good to keep active at your age, so you’re bones don’t become dense and disintegrate inside of you.”
“Goodbye, Gyuvin.”
“You called me!”
Jiwoong hangs up the phone without responding. He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, taking a deep, long-suffering breath. “Oh, this is so stupid. Fuck.”
He thinks he deserves a second or two to mope, all things considered. In this beautiful bed, in a beautiful hotel room, with the beautiful sound of a man-made waterfall trickling through the cracked open window.
He knows very well that there are worse things. He’s rich, but not completely out of touch. He’d like to think that his wealth is the least interesting thing about him— but then he’d be overselling his personality. His only friend is his twenty-three year old assistant, and maybe, by association, his twenty-three year old assistant’s twenty-three year old boyfriend, who is rich and out of touch. It’s fine.
Jiwoong gets up, running a hand through his hair and unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt as he goes for where the bellhop left his suitcase, all set up, ready to be opened. Jiwoong pulls the zipper, flipping open the lid— and immediately closes it again.
“Jesus Christ, Gyuvin,” he hisses, squeezing his eyes shut.
The second time he opens his bag, he does so properly. Propping open the top, staring at the contents with a deep frown on his face. The running shoes are there— just as Gyuvin said they would be— but there’s also a clear toiletry bag sitting dead center. It looks like Gyuvin raided a sex shop during his packing process. This is probably why Jiwoong got stopped at security while they checked his bag extra carefully.
He plucks up the pouch, turning it around to fully inspect the contents. Lube. Strawberry flavored lube. Birthday cake flavored lube. That cannot be good. There’s also three packs of condoms, all of them the right size (Jiwoong doesn’t want to know how Gyuvin guessed that), a cock ring, an instant pregnancy test (Gyuvin knows he’s gay, he’s just being a brat), and what appears to be fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold.
“God,” Jiwoong’s lip curls. He drops the bag on the dresser, rummaging through his bag for anything else more important. He’s really not planning on having sex on this vacation. He doesn’t have anyone to have sex with. The notion itself feels absurd.
He comes out with an acceptable outfit eventually. Something he can wear out to eat, at least, so he’s not in his business clothes all night.
His phone buzzes in his pocket. A single text from Gyuvin.
Do not call me again unless you want to talk boys. I’m no longer your assistant, I’m your wingman.
Jiwoong doesn’t give him the satisfaction of responding. He doesn’t even snarkily correct him to say men like he usually would. He just treks to the shower to wash off the filth of travel.
⚘
Jiwoong wakes up at five in the morning on his first full day of vacation, just like he always does. It’s a blessing when he’s working— which, to be fair, is almost all the time when he’s at home. But, now, it feels like a waste.
He opens his phone and scrolls through it for a bit. Tries to get into his email again, guessing every combination of password he could possibly imagine Gyuvin using to try to keep him out. Comes up empty. By the time he’s upright, it’s six. His first itinerary item is a meeting with Matthew at eight thirty. That seems early, but Jiwoong has nothing better to do, and he’s clearly already awake.
The cabinets have fancy packaged snacks in them, so Jiwoong shoves a protein bar in his mouth as he gets ready. Puts on his running clothes. It really has been a long time since he went. He used to go every morning, but then he got busier, and he lost his pace, and it didn’t feel as nice when he was spending the whole time worrying about what he could be doing instead.
He steps onto the pool deck, stretching his legs before he goes, the air sticky, almost a pre-humidity to the day. Morning fog hangs in the air. Birds chirp overhead, but Jiwoong blocks them out with his headphones.
Running for the first time in a while always feels like a major pain in the ass. His legs ache, and his lungs sting— but once he gets moving, he remembers why he likes it. It feels good. Winding through the footpaths of the resort, down to the ocean, and then back up again.
Jiwoong takes a break by the water before he turns around. Sitting in the sand, staring out at the horizon. The sun is blinding, rising slowly. It’s going to be a hot day. A seagull lands a bit away, picking at something on the ground. Jiwoong watches it for a moment, and then gets up to turn around.
He didn’t realize how far he’d gone, or how long it had been— but he runs into Matthew walking back up to his villa. He checks his watch— it’s already eight twenty five. Shit.
“Oh, good morning, hyung!” Matthew grins, just as bright as yesterday. He’s wearing his resort branded polo and tiny khaki shorts, maybe a five inch inseam— not that Jiwoong is checking, he just knows a lot about clothes thanks to Ricky. “You look great! Are you a morning person? You must be. Me too.”
“I—” Jiwoong blinks at him. He rakes his hair off his forehead, sweat rolling down his temples. This kid cannot be serious. “Yeah. I am.”
“Great! Are you ready for our meeting to discuss goals for this week?”
Jiwoong takes a deep breath. “Yes, I— really need to shower. Will you be ok to hang around for ten minutes?”
“Of course. I’m all yours the next few days, so anything you need or want,” Matthew says.
He speaks in such a plain way that Jiwoong wonders if he even knows how he’s coming off. Like, maybe this mid-twenties staffer at this luxury resort isn’t actually into him, he’s just a mid-twenties staffer at a luxury resort. Trained to be nice. Too innocent to understand what he’s doing. Not that it matters either way— Jiwoong is certainly not about to make a move on the mid-twenties staffer at this luxury resort. Why is he even working through this in his head? A waste of brain space and power.
Jiwoong lets Matthew into the villa, motioning vaguely towards the living room. “Just— sit anywhere. I’ll be back in a bit.”
Matthew gives him a polite smile and goes for the couch. Jiwoong hesitates, but then ducks off to shower. There’s nothing else to do. This is literally Matthew’s job. It’s fine.
He manages to shower efficiently. Nine minutes instead of ten. He’s towel drying his hair when he walks back into the living room, rambling out some apology about being late— but Matthew isn’t on the couch anymore. He’s standing next to Jiwoong’s suitcase, holding the bag full of sex accouterments Gyuvin packed between his fingers with wide eyes and raised brows.
“Sorry,” he says, dropping the offensive thing back on the counter. He at least has the humility to blush. Give Jiwoong a shy smile. “I was looking for tissues, but I got distracted.”
“There’s tissues right there,” Jiwoong says plainly, pointing to the table directly next to the couch.
“Oh! There is. Wow. Silly me!” Matthew laughs, turning on his heel and prancing back to the couch. He makes a show of pretending to blow his nose.
Jiwoong rolls his tongue over the inside of his cheek. Taking a deep breath before moving to sit in the chair across from Matthew. Matthew straightens his back and grins, pulling a notebook out of his bag and setting it in his lap.
“So, are you looking for… romance, on this trip?”
“No,” Jiwoong barks out a laugh.
“Oh, something more casual, then?” Matthew cocks his head, plastering a painfully innocent look onto his face.
“Sorry, what does this have to do with your job?” Jiwoong asks, leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees.
“I’m trying to make a schedule, hyung. We need to set goals for your health and wellbeing. I’m here to help you get closer to your best self—” Matthew pauses for a moment, a cloying smile playing on his lips. “I’m very dedicated to my job— so you can be honest with me, I promise I won’t judge. Or be surprised.”
Jiwoong studies him for a long moment. Dangerous is right. Matthew is absolutely hazardous. Jiwoong can’t fuck him. Maybe in a different circumstance— or, a different time and place— No. Jiwoong absolutely cannot fuck the young health and wellness coach provided by Ricky’s fancy resort.
He inhales through his nose. “Right. Okay. Listen— I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Matthew. I’m not looking for anything, no matter how much it’s thrown at me.”
Matthew blinks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says. Lies. Jiwoong is sure of it.
“Okay.”
Then, a smile. A pretty smile. Just for Jiwoong. “I want you to try to relax a little bit, hyung,” Matthew says. “You’re on vacation. You should go with the flow. See where the wind blows you. Are you used to letting go?”
“Do I look like I’m used to letting go?”
Matthew giggles. He jots something down in his notebook. “Let’s work on that, first. You shouldn’t count anything out until you’ve settled in. Especially something you want.”
They’re talking in three layers of code. Jiwoong cannot fuck Matthew. He’s forbidding himself from that as an option. He hasn’t fucked anyone in ages, anyway. Hasn’t even thought about it. There’s no way. Not a chance.
He really shouldn’t even be thinking so hard about something that’s not going to happen. Gyuvin got to his head. He threw Jiwoong into the lion’s den and then hit him over the head with a hammer. Jiwoong is a grown man. He’s a responsible adult. He’s an executive at a multi-million dollar corporation, goddamnit.
“I want to get you set up at our spa later today, and you can do a full treatment. Really start allowing yourself to relax. A reset, if you will,” Matthew says. “Afterwards, I assume you’ll be exhausted, but, tomorrow morning I’m leading a yoga class— I think it would be good if you came to that. We can regroup after that.”
Jiwoong leans back a bit in his chair, running a hand through his hair. Honestly, a spa treatment does sound nice. He could take or leave yoga— but, if he’s stuck here, he might as well. He’s going to start going crazy if he lets his mind rest for too long without something to do. “Sure. Sounds good.”
“Is there anything else you need from me this morning?” Matthew asks, batting his eyelashes. “Anything at all?”
“This is going to sound dumb, but do you have IT people here?”
Matthew’s facade breaks for the first time since he arrived. He pulls a face. Laughs. “Uh, yeah?”
⚘
“I’m sorry, Jiwoong-nim, it’s not possible.”
“How is it not possible? I’m failing to understand how I can’t get access to any of the email accounts I own.”
The man shrugs. He’s been pretty helpful, honestly. Hao, his nametag reads. He turns around and pokes the other guy sitting behind him. “Right, Bin-ah?”
Hanbin turns around, all cheeky smiles and sparkly eyes. Why is everyone that works here so goddamn handsome? “That’s right. Very sorry, Kim-nim.”
“Are you two acquainted with Shen Ricky, by any chance?”
Hao’s face goes comically slack, eyes widening. Hanbin’s customer service smile doesn’t budge.
“Right. Okay. God—” Jiwoong drops his head back, groaning. “Curse you, Kim Gyuvin.”
“Ope!” Hanbin laughs, raising one finger. “We have special direction to give you this note if you…” he uses air quotes for the next part, “Utter the name of the chosen one in our presence.”
“Oh my god.” Jiwoong leans forward and snatches the note out of Hanbin’s hand. He reads it out loud, just so Hao and Hanbin can really hear how fucking ridiculous this is. “Hah hah. You thought you could get by me, you shady mother fucker. Well, you can’t. I’m always two steps ahead of you, you decrepit fuck—” he lifts his eyes, and Hanbin winces. Hao is hiding his face in his hands. “Did you transcribe this for him?” he asks.
Hanbin laughs nervously.
“I’m not even old, by the way— I’m forty— Gyuvin is ageist and horrible. That’s not the point.” Jiwoong takes a deep, steadying breath, and keeps reading, “Please leave these nice IT people alone, they don’t need you ruining their day. Enjoy your vacation! I love you.”
“Honestly, I was kind of getting mixed messages on if he actually likes you or not,” Hanbin says, tapping his fingers anxiously on the desk.
“This is so stupid,” Jiwoong folds up the note and puts it in his pocket. He’s not really the type to threaten to call the manager on these kids— so he just makes one final plea. “If you guys get me into my email, I’ll pay you a lot of money.”
“Ope! Another one,” Hanbin pulls out another note.
This one just says, Ricky is richer than you.
“Goddamnit.”
“Hey!” Matthew’s voice chimes in from behind Jiwoong. He’s poking his head into the office, tapping his watch very pointedly. “Time to go to the spa.”
Hanbin is back to his big, bright smile. “Thank you, Matthew. So sorry we couldn’t help, Jiwoong-nim. If you need help with anything else while you’re here—”
“How could I need help with anything if I can’t use my phone?”
“I saw you have Candy Crush on there— you could use that!” Hao smiles cheerily.
Jiwoong doesn’t feel like sticking around to hear any more. He sighs. Stands up, phone shoved in his pocket, still completely useless. “Thanks, guys.”
“You’re welcome!” Hao nods, giving him a big thumbs up.
Matthew ushers him into the hallway, and waves for him to follow, and Jiwoong keeps his eyes fixed upwards, not even a glance down at Matthew’s insanely perky ass.
Relaxing. What a concept. Jiwoong doesn’t even know where to start, but Gyuvin knows him too well. He’s covered all his bases. He’s made it physically impossible for Jiwoong to not take a vacation. Jiwoong is on an island, for god’s sake, he can’t even rent a car.
Matthew holds a door open with one cocked hip, and Jiwoong is definitely not looking. He’s way too old to be looking, even if Matthew miles at him whenever he catches him looking. That’s not the point.
Jiwoong absolutely cannot fuck the young health and wellness coach provided by Ricky’s fancy resort, even if he is on vacation.
“You seem lost in thought,” Matthew prods.
“Eh,” Jiwoong waves him off. “It’s nothing important.”
“You can tell me anything that’s bothering you, hyung,” Matthew says softly. He lays a hand on Jiwoong’s bicep, smiling sweetly. Jiwoong takes a short breath. “I’m here to help you.”
Jiwoong gives him a tight smile. “Thanks, Matthew. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Please do.”
⚘
Jiwoong spends the entire afternoon of his second day cooped up in a dim, humid spa with a very nice woman that rubs, stretches, and treats his skin until he feels like a completely new person.
There’s wraps, and steams, and hot stones, and soaks. He thinks there’s a manicure at some point, and a facial. He gets too comfortable wearing a robe, and taking it off, and by the time he’s spit out into the hotel, the sun has gone down, and he’s exhausted.
He stumbles back to his room in a haze and orders room service before passing out at seven PM.
In the morning, he wakes up completely refreshed, much to his chagrin. He didn’t want Gyuvin to be right about anything. He has some pride left.
He rolls out of bed, shoves on his shoes and goes for a short jog— perfectly aware that he’s meant to go to Matthew’s yoga class in an hour or so.
He has a text from Gyuvin waiting when he gets back. How’s it going?
I’m trying. Jiwoong replies.
Gyuvin responds with a long string of increasingly obnoxious emojis.
Jiwoong decides he’s had enough of that. He leaves his phone on the dresser when he heads out. He’s trying.
⚘
Matthew’s yoga class is being held at a pavilion overlooking the ocean. It’s gorgeous— shaded from the sun and set up high enough to get a beautiful view.
Jiwoong arrives just on time, walking up with his hands in his pockets as Matthew sits, butterfly position at the front of the platform, chatting with the group of middle-aged women that seem to be here for the class. They’re all tittering and laughing, and he’s putting on a show for them— a pretty smile and gratuitous wink.
Good— Jiwoong thinks— Matthew is just naturally flirty. He probably does it to get good reviews. Good tips. Jiwoong isn’t the only one. He’s not going to give into something that isn’t real— it's a good boundary to have.
“Good morning, hyung!” Matthew’s smug little smile turns into a full beam when Jiwoong steps up. “I’m so glad you came. You can take the mat over there, we’ll get started in a second.”
Jiwoong nods curtly, giving the women a small wave before shuffling over to sit down on his mat.
The women all shift their attention— like a heat honed missile. Matthew is old news. One of them gives him a coy little smile and wiggles her fingers. Jiwoong forces a tight smile, rubbing at his jaw before looking away.
They must be ten years older than him— and he must be at least ten years older than Matthew— so, maybe he’s a more appropriate target. Maybe they think they have a shot. He turns to the side to blow out a long breath, and
Matthew laughs out loud, quickly covering it with a cough. “Okay!” he claps, smile lingering on his lips, gaze fixed towards Jiwoong. “Let's get started.”
Jiwoong hasn’t done yoga in years. He tries to keep up with stretching— an old habit leftover from when he was running more often— but yoga is too… quiet. It’s slow, and peaceful, and Jiwoong is always moving too fast.
Matthew moves them through some warm up stretches. He speaks in a soft, careful voice, leading everyone through. The sound of waves crashing against the shore provide a nice backdrop. Jiwoong’s mind starts wandering almost immediately.
He’s sure that Gyuvin is sorting through his emails— sending them to the team accordingly for coverage. Rescheduling Jiwoong’s meetings, hopefully. Gyuvin must have been planning this for a while. Setting everything up to make sure that Jiwoong couldn’t get out of it. Fuck. If everything goes to hell when he gets back, Jiwoong is going to have a conniption. He might actually fire Gyuvin.
“Now— watch my form on this one, and follow along,” Matthew says.
Jiwoong’s eyes flick up, and Matthew has turned around, back to them. He’s stretching his arms above his head before bending over, and Jiwoong nearly chokes on his own spit. He does his best to pay attention— bending over, putting his hands on the floor. One of the women giggles to her friend who can’t quite reach. Matthew has started rocking back on his heels a bit, his shorts tight over his ass.
It’s criminal. Jiwoong is pretty sure he should be arrested for being a pervert the way his eyes linger when Matthew stands back up. The kid has a nice ass— Jiwoong isn’t blind. He is, however, going to hell.
When Matthew leans to the side, arm above his head, his shirt rides up over his flank, showing off the soft expanse of his lower back, right before the waistband of his shorts. He has dimples at the base of his spine— his skin looks soft. Jiwoong swallows the spit pooling in his mouth.
“For this next pose, I want you all to pay attention to what you feel right here,” Matthew says. He turns to the side, accentuating his tiny waist, and kicks out his leg. One finger runs up the line of his thigh, pulling up the hem of his shorts a little bit.
Jiwoong feels heat rising to his face. He nods, pretending to listen.
“Got that, hyung?” Matthew asks sweetly. His lips curve up, eyes dancing. He knows. Jiwoong is sure he knows. Fuck.
“Mhm,” Jiwoong nods. He clears his throat, ears on fire. Maybe he should ask Taerae for a new wellness coach. Or— better yet— none at all. What does it matter, anyway?
“Good. I can already see you’re more relaxed than yesterday. You’re doing great,” Matthew encourages. He gives Jiwoong a thumbs up, and then goes to help one of the women with her positioning.
Jiwoong only feels like he can breathe when Matthew stops looking at him. He sits on the mat, following Matthew’s instructions for the position. Bent at the waist, chest moving towards the floor between his spread legs. It burns in his thighs, but he deserves to hurt a little bit— the way he’s acting.
“Try to lean into that,” Matthew murmurs, suddenly right behind him. He presses his hand right between Jiwoong’s shoulder blades, pushing him into the stretch. His palm is warm and strong, his other hand setting itself on Jiwoong’s thigh to hold him still. Jiwoong makes some sort of twisted grunt, and Matthew lays off. “Very good, Jiwoong-ah,” Matthew coos, soft enough that only Jiwoong can hear. Regrettably, the timbre of it makes Jiwoong’s dick twitch in his shorts. The way Matthew’s hands linger, and the lilt of his smile in his voice.
God, Jiwoong is going to hell.
By the time the class is over, Jiwoong is just pleased that he doesn’t have a massive, impossible to hide boner. He lays flat on his back, breathing into shavasana, kind of hoping the ground opens up and swallows him before he has to face the reality of his situation.
He can hear the women saying their goodbyes to Matthew, and when he opens his eyes, one of them is hanging right above him, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
He jumps, hand over his heart. “Holy shi—”
“We’re going to get drinks, you’re welcome to join us, sweetheart,” she purrs.
Jiwoong laughs weakly. He stays laying down, because if he sits up, he’ll just be closer to her face. “I’m very flattered, but I am very gay,” he says. A line he’s used many times before, after he realized the best deterrent is just to tell the truth.
Her smile drops to a pout. Disappointed. “Well, you’re still welcome.”
“I’m okay. I don’t drink,” he lies.
That gets her to buzz off. Jiwoong takes a deep breath after she’s gone, shutting his eyes again, his heart going a little too fast. He breathes for a bit, trying to right himself, until a shadow passes over his face.
When he opens his eyes again, Matthew is standing above him, right at his feet. He smiles prettily. “Hyung, we’ll have lunch together, if that’s okay. I’ll give you some time to go back and shower, and you can meet me at the restaurant at noon.”
Jiwoong sucks in air through his nose. He forces a smile. Nods. “Sounds good, Matthew.”
Matthew seems pleased with that answer. He knocks his foot against Jiwoong’s, says, much softer, “You did well today, hyung. I’m proud of you.” Then he steps over Jiwoong’s resting form and walks away.
Jiwoong, against his better interest, sits up to watch him go. The breeze blowing through Matthew’s sandy hair, his shorts so tight whenever he moves his leg.
Fuck.
⚘
Matthew is good at talking.
He’s an endless well of words, and thoughts, and ideas. He barely even touches his food, because he’s so busy going over the multi-point plan for how he’s going to fix Jiwoong’s soul and allow him to untether himself from the woes of the working world.
Apparently, a lot of thought has gone into this. Jiwoong kind of thought Matthew’s job was made up. Or that Matthew was really bad at it— too focused on fishing rather than focusing.
But now he’s proving Jiwoong wrong in a painfully illustrative way.
Jiwoong is pretty sure the lady at the spa massaged him so hard that a screw or three came loose. Jiwoong isn’t tense at all listening to Matthew chatter. He’s relaxed, chewing his lunch slowly, and his mind is wandering. His mind never wanders at home.
He watches Matthew’s hands move around as he talks. The line of his arms up to muscled biceps.
“Hyung, are you listening?” Matthew asks, setting a hand over Jiwoong’s on the table. The touch almost makes Jiwoong shiver. Matthew’s skin is smooth and warm.
He sucks in a sharp breath. Smiles best he can. “Yeah. Sorry. That massage really worked.”
“Oh! Great!” Matthew grins, squeezing Jiwoong’s hand.
Jiwoong nearly chokes. He’s so touch starved that a little hand on hand action is getting him hot and bothered. He needs to be at a rehab facility, not a resort.
“Have you ever tried any breathing exercises, hyung?” Matthew asks, finally removing his hand from Jiwoong’s vicinity. “They could be helpful for when you go back to work, too. Keep you relaxed long term instead of just short term.”
“No, I don’t think I have.”
There’s a shine in Matthew’s eyes when he smiles this time. “Fantastic. I have a good feeling about this one, Jiwoong-hyung.”
“Me too, Matthew-yah,” Jiwoong lies.
No matter how bad of a feeling Jiwoong could have possibly had— the reality is so much worse.
They’re back at the pavilion from this morning— overlooking the ocean. Matthew has Jiwoong stood in the middle of the platform, facing the water. He’s directly behind Jiwoong. His hands are wrapped around Jiwoong’s flank, running up and down his stomach with every deep breath he instructs Jiwoong to take— his head hanging near Jiwoong’s left shoulder, soft voice guiding him through the motions. Matthew’s chest is pressed to Jiwoong’s back.
Jiwoong is pretty sure that any chance he had at keeping it together ended the second Matthew got his hands on him. Heartbeat jacked up, throbbing in his ears, sweat rolling between his shoulderblades.
“Breathe in. In. Further—” Matthew coaches. He presses on Jiwoong’s stomach, doesn’t let up until Jiwoong is as full as he wants him. Then, a sweet, cloying, “Good, hyung.”
The muscle in Jiwoong’s jaw twitches.
“Now exhale. Keep exhaling. Further. Further, hyung.” Matthew’s hand splays out over Jiwoong’s navel, applying the most maddening pressure. “There you go. Empty everything. You’re doing so well. Don’t you feel more connected to the world around you?”
Jiwoong tries not to laugh. He’s sure that if he did, it would come out incredibly pained and impossibly weak. He almost feels like he’s shaking a little bit. Trembling. His body wills him to relax into Matthew’s warmth behind him— but that would be wrong for so many reasons. He can’t even begin to start.
He’s going to get kicked off this expensive resort, and he’ll have to tell Gyuvin why, and Ricky will probably be uninvited back, too.
Just because Jiwoong hasn’t gotten laid since he got promoted doesn’t mean he can accidentally sexually harass his wellness coach. So what if he got promoted five years ago? So what if Matthew’s hands on his stomach feel more arousing than Jiwoong’s own hand around his own cock has for a while?
He cannot get hard during breathing exercises.
“How old are you, Matthew?” Jiwoong blurts awkwardly. He realizes afterwards that the timing just makes him seem even more creepy. He winces, squeezing his eyes shut as Matthew removes his arms from Jiwoong’s stomach and steps out of his space.
But then Matthew is in front of him, and he’s smirking like he knows something Jiwoong doesn’t. He’s putting his hands on Jiwoong’s hips, lining them up. “I’m twenty-five, hyung. How old are you?”
That should be enough to kill whatever beginnings of arousal Jiwoong was feeling. Fifteen years is way too much. He cannot be getting hot for a twenty five year old. What’s that rule? Half his age plus seven? Matthew is two years under that.
“I’m forty.”
“You don’t look it,” Matthew purrs. He presses his thumbs into Jiwoong’s hipbones. “Breathe in.”
Jiwoong does as he’s told. “I promise you, I am,” he says through his inhale.
Matthew doesn’t flinch. He looks up at Jiwoong with sparkly eyes. Says, “It’s okay. My ex boyfriend was fifty.”
“What?” Jiwoong chokes on his own spit, all the breath he’d taken in wheezing out of him like a pathetic party balloon.
Matthew’s eyes go wide, but he doesn’t release his hold on Jiwoong’s hips. “Oh, hyung, don’t freak out. I just mean that I’m used to spending time with older guys. Don’t worry. No need for the fuss.”
Jiwoong’s eyes water. He shakes out his arms, trying to right himself again. “Sure,” he says.
He doesn’t really believe Matthew. He did, for a second there, think that Matthew was perfectly innocent— but everything is stacking up too neatly. Matthew’s smiles have the slightest hint of deranged energy to them. His hands linger too long. He’s doing it all on purpose, and he’s probably thrilled that Jiwoong is tripping into every trap he sets.
“Let’s try that again. Take a deep breath in. And then out. Focus on me—” Matthew’s mouth is still curled up at the corners. He pokes out his tongue and licks over his bottom lip. When Jiwoong’s eyes follow the movement, his smile spreads.
He knows what he’s doing.
Jiwoong wishes he could say that the brattiness didn’t work for him. That Matthew’s bold insistence on making Jiwoong’s life as frustrating as possible completely turned him off to even thinking about it.
Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect.
Jiwoong likes being challenged. He likes being stepped up to, and he likes being bossed around a bit. The last guy he dated would make fun of him for it— and that would get Jiwoong going too.
He’s a lost cause. A pervert. A horny old man getting hot and bothered for a co-ed fifteen years his junior.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Matthew asks, blinking a few too many times to be innocent. He’s batting his eyelashes at Jiwoong. The ocean serves as a backdrop to his face, sandy hair blowing in the breeze.
“I feel so relaxed,” Jiwoong deadpans.
Matthew’s mouth crooks up at one side. He licks over his lips again. Drops his hands from Jiwoong— finally. Says, “That’s enough for now. Good job, hyung. You did so well.”
Jiwoong swallows back the pained noise in his throat.
Before he can speak again, Matthew is pulling out his planner. “Now, lets see what’s next for us. We have so much to do.”
“Hah,” Jiwoong breathes.
He’s not sure if he’ll survive this afternoon. He doesn’t know if he wants to.
⚘
Jiwoong escapes from the clutches of temptation after dinner. It takes him a good thirty minutes and a brisk walk to shake off the last bit of tingle in his fingers and the pounding of his heart.
Matthew isn’t afraid to let himself be known. Or felt. And Jiwoong is only so strong. There’s a line, and Matthew seems intent on straddling it.
Honestly, Jiwoong probably shouldn’t call Gyuvin right now. Gyuvin will sniff him out immediately, and then want to talk about it, and then very inappropriately push Jiwoong into doing something he shouldn’t.
That being said— the phone is already ringing, and Jiwoong’s ass is already planted in the sand on the beach, the sun slowly dropping to the horizon.
It’s a beautiful night. Gold and pink light the sky, almost no clouds shadowing the ground or the sea. The ocean is mostly calm, but it’s moving enough to catch the glimmer of the sun. Jiwoong should feel more on edge than he does. His usual resting state is on edge. But, he just feels kind of wilted as the phone rings.
And rings.
Gyuvin picks up right before the line cuts out— a little breathless— like he’s been running. “Hyung?”
“What are you doing?” Jiwoong scowls, checking his watch. It’s only seven at night.
“You do not want to know,” Gyuvin laughs. Then, without pausing, “Okay, I’ll tell you, Ricky and I were—”
“Alright. No thanks. We know each other too well.”
“We’re friends, hyung!”
“No friends should ever be talking like that with each other.”
Gyuvin snorts. “Wow, no wonder you have no other friends but me. You’re so boring.”
“And you are seriously pushing your luck.”
“Whatever,” Gyuvin laughs. He’s totally full of himself. Jiwoong wishes he weren’t right to be— but, he can’t pretend like Gyuvin isn’t going to get away with everything he’s saying. Jiwoong has a soft spot for the kid. They’re… friends. “How’s vacation? Are you relaxing? You sound so relaxed. Your threat didn’t even have any bite to it.”
“Eh,” Jiwoong lies.
“C’mon. Tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“I don’t believe you. I want the details. How is your vacation, Jiwoong?”
“It’s… fine,” Jiwoong relents, letting out a long breath.
Gyuvin takes it and runs. He gasps, voice moving away from the phone a bit before getting much closer. Much louder. “You met someone!”
“I did not, Gyuvin, don’t be ridiculous,” Jiwoong picks at the hem of his shorts, running his finger over the line against his skin.
“You did,” Gyuvin insists. “I can hear it in your voice. That’s why you called. You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t want me to pull it out of you.”
Jiwoong sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He waits a good ten seconds before he says, “I did not meet someone. I met a twenty-five year old kid— that’s nothing.”
Gyuvin makes a noise that Jiwoong could only classify as a squeal. “Oh my god, you cradle robber! He could call you daddy and mean it!”
“I’m fifteen years older than him! That’s statistically unlikely and also disgusting.”
“Unlikely is not impossible, I was a stats major—” Gyuvin chuckles. Jiwoong can tell that he’s shaking his head along with it. Annoying. “Either way, you literally need to go for it. This isn’t a want, hyung, it’s a need.”
“For you? Or for me?”
“Both!”
Jiwoong takes a tight breath, digging his toes into the sand. “It’s not like it can go anywhere, Gyuvin. He lives here. Works here.”
“That’s why it’s perfect, hyung. Haven’t you ever heard of a vacation fling?”
No. Jiwoong hasn’t. He’s never been the type to mess around like that. He finds it to be a waste of time. Sex and love are things that take time to be good. He hasn’t had time.
“Forget it, Gyub. It’s not happening.”
“Just think about it, hyung. For me.”
“I am not thinking about fucking someone for you.”
“I just think your hand could use a break.”
“My hand does not need a break.”
“It definitely—”
Jiwoong hangs up. He shuts his phone off for good measure. He already tried to hack into his email again this morning. No use.
He takes a deep breath, staring over the ocean. Not thinking about it.
When Jiwoong gets back to his room, he jerks off in the shower. Quick and efficient, just like he has been for the last five years. God— his life is sad.
He barely thinks about Matthew at all during. Afterwards, he lays his head against the tile, letting out a long breath, and he hears Matthew’s voice ringing in his head saying, good job, hyung.
Am I a pervert? He types into his messages with Gyuvin while he’s laying in bed. Then he deletes it. Sets his phone down and lays down on his side.
If he has to ask, the answer is probably not one he wants to hear.
But, maybe Matthew likes perverts.
He cuts that train of thought off before it can even get off the ground. Absolutely not. Jiwoong absolutely should not fuck the young health and wellness coach provided by Ricky’s fancy resort.
⚘
In the morning, Jiwoong goes for a run. When he comes back, Matthew is waiting by his door, bright-eyed and excited as usual.
He stops Jiwoong before Jiwoong can shower. Says, “Don’t worry, hyung, we’re going to be getting much sweatier.”
Jiwoong definitely doesn’t think anything uncouth at the suggestion. Not at all.
And then he’s led to a sauna, and sweating so much he’s pretty sure his brain is actually melting out of his ears, and he can’t think about anything at all anymore.
Matthew sits on the bench across from him, legs spread, head leaning back against the wooden wall so his throat is exposed. A drop of sweat rolls down the column of his neck, soaking into the tank top he’s wearing today. He seems to be handling the heat much better than Jiwoong. He must do this often.
For someone as gorgeous and young as Matthew, this sort of job must be a dream. A parade of rich idiots at his mercy. If he’s so invested in Jiwoong— maybe he does this often. Gets his fill by playing with his clients. Jiwoong doesn’t hate the idea of it. Being a notch in Matthew’s board rather than anything else. It puts less pressure on him.
“Five more minutes, and then I’ll massage you,” Matthew says without opening his eyes. He exhales, shoulders relaxing with his breath out.
Jiwoong stares at him, just like he has been since they arrived. Since Matthew shut his eyes. He can’t stop. Matthew is so casual about ruining Jiwoong’s life. So annoyingly calm.
“Massage?” Jiwoong croaks.
“Mhm.” Matthew peeks open one eye. He smiles out of one side of his mouth. “Best time to do it— while your muscles are warm.”
“Right.”
Jiwoong doesn’t know enough to tell if he’s wrong or not. Maybe he should have studied up on health and wellness earlier in his life. He didn’t, and now he’s a doll at the whims of a kid that seems set on making him suffer.
Five minutes drips by, too fast and too slow at the same time. And then Matthew is getting up, stretching his arms over his head in a way that makes his tank top ride up above his stomach a little bit. Not long enough to catch more than a glance— but a glance is certainly caught.
Matthew pulls a small wooden bench from the side, motioning to Jiwoong to sit down. “Right here, please.”
Jiwoong stands up stiffly and changes location. He doesn’t take his shirt off, because that feels like too much, and Matthew didn’t ask him to.
“I’ll focus on your neck and shoulders, hyung,” Matthew murmurs. “Just relax. I’ll take care of you.”
Small, strong hands meet Jiwoong’s nape, thumbs pressing into the base of his neck, right at his spine. He sucks in a sharp breath, and then forces his body to loosen up.
Matthew starts digging into Jiwoong’s muscle. His strength is honestly impressive. The amount of pressure he’s able to control with just his hands. He circles the base of Jiwoong’s neck with his thumbs, rolling out the tension held there. Moving to his shoulders.
He finds a knot, hands shoved beneath the neck of Jiwoong’s shirt, massaging his traps. Jiwoong holds back a pained grunt. Squeezes his eyes shut.
“You’re tight, hyung,” Matthew coos. So polite. He focuses all of his energy on loosening the muscle.
It starts feeling good eventually. Jiwoong gets a little too comfortable, and then a loud groan rips out of his throat. He shuts his mouth immediately, but it’s too late.
Matthew giggles. “Don’t hold back, hyung. I’m glad it feels good.”
“Matthew—” Jiwoong complains, but that comes out a little too breathy and raw, too.
“Shh,” Matthew soothes. He moves onto Jiwoong’s other side.
Jiwoong manages to make it out of the massage only moaning one more time, when Matthew pinches him right at the base of his skull. It feels good for no real reason— but Jiwoong is too hot to blush.
Matthew pats his shoulders, then, and tells Jiwoong they’re done.
He waits for Jiwoong outside the sauna, instructing Jiwoong to take his time gathering himself, whatever that means.
And then Jiwoong is stumbling back into the world of the living, a little dizzy and still heatstruck. He could use some water, probably.
Matthew grins at him, cocking his head. “Feel better? You should eat something.”
“Yeah,” Jiwoong nods, blinking the black spots from his eyes.
“And then you should swim this afternoon! You haven’t used your pool yet, have you?”
“No.” Jiwoong rubs his head. He’s sure his hair is sticking up in all directions.
“It’s super nice. You really should.”
Jiwoong hesitates— let the record show that he hesitates before his next words leave his mouth. But, he’s heatstruck, and feeling dizzy, and stupid— and he’s already blushing, because he’s so hot— “Do you want to come swimming, Matthew?”
Matthew’s lips part into a cute little o. His eyes widen. “Oh, hyung, really?”
“Yeah,” Jiwoong nods, all sense of logic and reason sweat out of him. “There must be some sort of relaxation thing you have to teach me in the water.”
Matthew’s smile is blinding. “I’m sure I can come up with something.”
⚘
Jiwoong doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.
He’s spent most of the afternoon floating on his back in the private pool outside his villa, with Matthew lingering nearby, pretending to talk him through some relaxation exercises every once in a while.
Matthew changed into swim shorts and a rash guard when they got back. Apparently he just has those on hand in his work locker.
Jiwoong feels incredibly underdressed in the swim trunks Gyuvin packed him. Red things that hit him mid thigh. Not very appropriate for swimming with his hotel provided wellness coach.
He’s a little past that point, though, isn’t he?
Besides, he felt a little zip of pride when Matthew drank him in after he changed. Eyes dragging up and down Jiwoong’s form. Matthew didn’t say anything— he just stared, which felt so much more intimate. Or, maybe Jiwoong is just a pervert.
They don’t touch in the water. Matthew keeps plenty of distance. He smiles prettily at Jiwoong across the pool, and flips his hair out of his face. Jiwoong gets a bit more tilted off his axis every time.
Around dinnertime, Jiwoong gets on the hotel phone and orders room service. Matthew is using his shower when it arrives. Jiwoong doesn’t know how many staff rules Matthew must be breaking, but as long as no one gets caught, he figures it’s fine.
Maybe that’s the wrong way to think about it.
Matthew shuffles out with a sheepish look on his face, back in his work clothes. “Thanks, hyung. I had fun today.”
“Me too, Matthew-yah.” Jiwoong smiles softly. He sucks in a long breath through his nose, watching Matthew move to grab his bag. That won’t do. He just ordered so much food— he just assumed— “You can stay to eat, if you want. There’s way too much,” he rushes out. Matthew freezes, and Jiwoong feels a little awkward. Like maybe it’s a step too far. “But, I’m sure you have something much better to do than hang out with an old guy after work.”
Matthew’s smile is slow and sweet. It creeps across his face. “Not really,” he says.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?”
Matthew shrugs. He grins and unbuttons the top few buttons of his work shirt, leaving a gap open for his chest. Jiwoong’s eyes linger for a second too long before he pulls himself together.
They sit down across from each other at the table in the living room. Matthew doesn’t seem so shy once he starts eating— he’s on a roll talking again. His cheeks are round with food, eyes bright and animated. He lets himself go a little bit— gets more comfortable with Jiwoong instead of keeping up his cool, collected, and incredibly flirty persona.
Jiwoong learns that Matthew has a sister. He moved to Korea for college, but never finished, so now he’s here. The manager of the resort is his best friend. He likes his job.
“What about you, hyung?” Matthew asks, after he’s spilled nearly his whole life story to Jiwoong in the matter of an hour. He sets his chin in his hand, and leans forward. The sun is mostly down— just a soft glow outside. Matthew looks good in the dim lighting of the villa.
Jiwoong lifts the bottle of wine they’re splitting. Some ‘72 cabernet sauvignon that seemed expensive enough to be good. It is good— it makes Jiwoong’s cheeks warm, and it stains Matthew’s lips red. He empties the bottle into their glasses.
“I’m an executive at a media conglomerate. I work too much, and I never rest. My assistant and his boyfriend are my closest friends, and they’re younger than you,” Jiwoong sighs, taking another drink. It burns going down his throat. “I turned forty in December, and, I guess Gyuvin had enough of me being uptight. He told me I was going to a meeting, and sent me here. Logged me out of my emails and instructed me to get laid.”
Matthew’s eyebrows shoot up, and Jiwoong realizes his mistake.
He’s not speaking to a friend. He’s speaking to someone who’s providing him a service. Matthew is twenty-five, and beautiful, and Jiwoong is probably committing some crime of sexual harassment right now.
“Fuck— I’m sorry,” he hurries to correct himself. “Forget I said that. That’s horribly inappropriate, and you don’t need to know that. Fuck.”
Matthew peers up through his lashes, making his eyelids heavy. The look alone sends Jiwoong’s heart jumping in his chest.
“Hyung, it’s okay. I don’t mind,” Matthew murmurs. Under the table, his foot knocks against Jiwoong’s. He doesn’t retract it. He just lets it linger. “I really meant it when I said my ex is older than you, by the way.”
Jiwoong’s face bursts into flames. He’s glad he’s not chewing, because he’d have started choking. “Listen, Matthew…” Jiwoong starts, but Matthew doesn’t let him get that far.
“I just think there’s a lot of stigma. A lot of people are afraid to admit what they want, even if it’s right in front of them.” Matthew circles the rim of his wine glass with the tip of his finger. “I’ve never been afraid of that. Didn’t work out with my ex because he was a real asshole— had nothing to do with anything else.”
“Do you have a type?” Jiwoong asks, letting out a tight breath.
“No. My girlfriend before that was my age. And the boyfriend before her. I’m picky— but it’s not a rule. I’m picky about the people I like, not how old they are.”
“You’re dangerous.”
Matthew’s cheeks press into his eyes when he smiles. “Thank you,” he says, raising his glass to cheers. Jiwoong gives it to him.
Matthew slips out into the night just before midnight. He’s pink-cheeked and pretty, wiggling his fingers in a little wave goodbye. Jiwoong stands at the door and watches him go for much longer than he should, chewing the inside of his cheek.
“Shit,” he says, once Matthew’s shadow has been swallowed by the landscaping around the path out of the villa.
Jiwoong absolutely wants to fuck the young health and wellness coach provided by Ricky’s fancy resort. He just doesn’t know if what he wants matters in this situation.
⚘
In the morning, it’s raining.
Dark storm clouds hang in the sky, no indication of letting up. Fat, heavy rain drops streak down the windows of the villa, loud thunder and occasional lightning accompanying the mess.
Jiwoong stays in bed instead of going for a run. Just waiting for Matthew to show.
The clock rolls around to eight. And then nine. And then ten. It’s still raining, but Matthew is nowhere to be found.
Jiwoong sits up abruptly, frown creasing his forehead. When Matthew left last night, everything seemed fine. Sure, they were reaching the line, but he didn’t think it was too much. Was it too much? Did he manage to scare him away? Worse— did Matthew get in trouble?
“Shit,” Jiwoong hisses. He throws his clothes on— whatever is closest. He’s not really thinking straight when he shoves his shoes on and starts for the main resort building. He just wants to make sure that he hasn’t accidentally ruined Matthew’s life by being a pervert. He definitely doesn’t want that.
He’s dripping all over the marble floors by the time he arrives. He’s sure he looks a bit unhinged like this. Out of breath and soaked to the bone.
He catches sight of Taerae behind the desk. That’ll do— Matthew said they’re close.
“Oh! Kim-nim, good morning! Do you need a towel? I’ll get you a towel— hold on,” Taerae says before Jiwoong can even open his mouth. He disappears into a door behind the counter and comes back with a large towel, passing it over to Jiwoong with a charming smile.
“Uh, thanks,” Jiwoong chokes, holding it lamely to his chest. He clears his throat, trying (and failing) not to sound horribly awkward when he says, “I was just wondering where Matthew’s at. He wasn’t at my room at the usual time.”
Taerae’s eyebrows raise, mouth forming a little o. “Oh! Matthew didn’t tell you? He has today and tomorrow off.”
Jiwoong blinks. “Huh?”
“Mhm,” Taerae nods. “His time with you technically ended yesterday. Sorry, Kim-nim. If he wasn’t up to satisfaction I can put in a report—”
“No!” Jiwoong blurts, reaching one hand out only to retract it again when he realizes how desperate it seems. “No. He was perfect. I must have missed him letting me know. It’s no big deal. Thanks so much.”
“If you’re sure,” Taerae looks at him skeptically.
Jiwoong gives him a tight smile. “Positive.” He laughs a little awkwardly, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m gonna…”
“I hope you enjoy your last two days.” Taerae bows.
“Mm,” Jiwoong hums noncommittally. He turns around in a daze, running a hand through his soaked hair. He wanders over towards the seating area off to one side, unfurling his towel to drape it over a chair. Flopping down like a rag doll.
Matthew isn’t working today. Or tomorrow. He certainly didn’t say anything to Jiwoong about it, because Jiwoong would have remembered— and maybe he would have made a move last night. But Matthew left without touching him, and Jiwoong let him go— he thought he’d have today at least.
Shit. Fuck. What the hell.
He really shouldn’t be this torn up about the idea of not seeing Matthew again. Matthew was never his to have, anyway. All that talk was just talk. It had to have been— or else he would have let Jiwoong know that he didn’t have much time left.
Matthew pulled Jiwoong right up to the edge and then shoved him off, standing behind on the cliff to watch him fall.
Fair enough, Jiwoong supposes. He also wouldn’t want to sleep with a creep if he were Matthew’s age. Hell.
“You seem stressed.”
Jiwoong snaps his head up. There’s a strikingly gorgeous man sitting on the chair a little bit away from him. Legs crossed, long hair curling around his ears in a casually flawless way. He looks close to Jiwoong’s age— maybe a bit older. He’s wearing a Balenciaga t-shirt and a couple of gold, Chrome Hearts bracelets that Jiwoong knows go for an obscene amount of money.
“Nah,” Jiwoong exhales. “Just— thought I had more time with… someone.” The last half of his thought comes out awkwardly when he remembers that he’s talking to a stranger.
“Ah,” the man nods serenely. His eyes are sharp. He doesn’t have an issue studying Jiwoong— it’s almost unnerving. “I know the feeling.”
Jiwoong scoffs lightly. Licks over his lips. “You do?”
“Sure,” the man nods. “I met my husband—” he pauses, like he’s waiting to see if Jiwoong is going to react poorly to the fact that he’s gay. Starts back up again when he gets nothing, “— while I was on vacation. I was hunting for a rich man to play with, but that’s not the point. The point is— I fell a bit in love with him, but then time was up.”
“What did you do?”
The man laughs. He tucks a lock of his hair behind his ear. “I followed him home.” He smiles fondly, like he’s recalling the memory. “He thought I was crazy.”
“Yeah, I don’t really think that’s an option for me.” Jiwoong winces a bit, then plasters on a smile when the man shoots him a questioning glare. “I’m glad yours doesn’t think you’re crazy, though.”
“Oh, he does,” the man corrects. “He just likes it.”
“Right. That’s… great. I’m happy for you.”
“Me too.” He smiles. “But, for the record, I’d say you should just throw the rest of your eggs in the basket. Act a little crazy. Who knows what might happen.”
A ways away, a man wanders into the lobby, eyes squinted like he’s looking for someone. He’s got matching gold bracelets on his wrist— and Jiwoong knows what’s going to happen before it does.
His companion springs up. The searching husband’s face smooths out when he sees him, a smile taking over.
“That’s mine. See you. Hope you figure it out. Or don’t. What do I care? I don’t know you,” the man that was talking to Jiwoong says. Then he flounces away, slotting into his husband’s side like it’s second nature, one strong arm coming to wrap around his waist and hold him close.
Jiwoong’s stomach turns a little bit. How nice it must be to have something like that. So sure and solid. It’s not like Jiwoong could ever have that with Matthew— for any host of reasons. First and foremost, Matthew lives here, and Jiwoong lives in Seoul. And the age thing. And the everything else. Jiwoong is married to his job. He doesn’t know if any man could ever make him give that up.
Then again, if Matthew showed up right now and asked him to stay a while longer— he might be stupid enough to agree.
But that’s not going to happen. Matthew is gone. He clearly doesn’t want to see Jiwoong again. Jiwoong just has to accept that.
He takes a deep breath. Exhales.
Such is life.
⚘
The day drips by slowly.
Jiwoong goes and spends time in the sauna, hoping it will make him sweat out every twisted thought he’s had the past four days. It doesn’t work. He just gets overheated, and has to lay on the bathroom floor in the villa for a bit before he takes a shower.
He sits on the couch and clicks through the TV for a bit. Tries to read a book and fails, too distracted. Stares out the window into the rain.
There’s no reason for him to be so disappointed. Matthew was a pipe dream. A wet dream. A flirtation on vacation— never meant to go anywhere else.
But, still, Jiwoong is disappointed. Then he feels stupid for feeling disappointed, and he closes his eyes and beats himself up over it for a bit.
It’s sad. He’s sad.
He’s a sad, pathetic, perverted man that’s forty years old and only has two friends, one of which is his direct employee.
He turns off his phone, because Gyuvin keeps texting him things like, did u do it???????? or should i ask, did u do HIM???????
This vacation was a terrible idea. Jiwoong didn’t learn anything about himself other than that he’s pathetic and touch starved. That he doesn’t have any of the prowess he used to have, and that he should probably address why he’s thinking so hard about a twenty five year old.
Damn.
He’s laying on the couch, deciding whether or not he should just give up and go to sleep early when someone bangs on the glass.
He springs up, wincing at the pain in his back from lying prone on uncomfortable cushions for so long. It takes a second to follow the noise over to the window on the side wall.
And there Matthew is, waving frantically, massive grin on his face, a paper bag in his other hand.
Jiwoong blinks. Shakes his head. Blinks again. He’s sure he’s started hallucinating. There’s no way…
“Let me in!” Matthew complains, already making for the door.
Jiwoong gets up to meet him there, opening the door, heart slamming against his ribs like it’s trying to break out.
Matthew bats his eyelashes, still mostly dry, despite the weather. “I thought maybe you’d forget to eat,” he says sweetly, holding up the bag. It smells heavenly. Takeaway Korean, probably.
“Taerae said you're off,” Jiwoong says intelligently.
“I am,” Matthew nods curtly. “So, that means I don’t have to follow the rules today.”
He gives Jiwoong a cheeky little wink, and Jiwoong makes a pathetic little noise in the back of his throat as he stands to the side so Matthew can slip inside.
Jiwoong locks the door behind Matthew, trailing him towards the table like a lost puppy. His mouth is still stuck open a little bit. He feels like he’s dreaming. He’s still not sure he’s not dreaming. He really is hungry.
Matthew clicks his tongue, pushing Jiwoong’s shoulders until he sits down. He unpacks the food, one container at a time— a nice spread— and then sits down across from Jiwoong. Tells him to eat.
Jiwoong can only offer him a nod. He digs in. They manage to make it through most of the meal without talking. Eating quietly, shooting each other looks across the table.
Then Matthew laughs, when he catches Jiwoong staring at him for the nth time in fifteen minutes.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, hyung,” Matthew says.
“I thought—” Jiwoong starts. He shakes his head. “I’m just surprised. I thought I’d seen the last of you.”
Matthew frowns. His bottom lip pokes out cutely. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come by earlier— I got caught up with something at home. But, I was always going to come back.”
Jiwoong laughs, a little pained. He washes it down with a drink of water. “Why?”
That earns him a shrug. Matthew’s toe meets his shin. Starts dragging up and down. Jiwoong has to do everything in his power not to flinch. Not to bang his knees on the underside of the table and moan, or something equally embarrassing and obscene.
“Why do you think?” Matthew purrs. He sets his chin in his hand, teeth catching on his bottom lip. His foot creeps higher, to the inside of Jiwoong’s knee. Jiwoong’s legs fall apart on instinct.
Jiwoong sets down his chopsticks, suddenly feeling very full. He picks up his napkin, wiping off his hands, and then his mouth. “I’m too old for you,” he says, trying to convince himself more than anything. And, because he feels like it needs to be said.
“That’s a completely subjective opinion,” Matthew says, very logically. He’s clearly been thinking about it. “Besides. Half your age plus seven. I’m right on the edge.”
Jiwoong groans. He puts his face in his hands, heels of his palms pressing into his eyes. “This isn’t right. Do you fuck all the old guys that come through here? Or am I special?”
Matthew laughs out loud. He tosses his head back. “Hyung-ah,” he coos. “Jiwoongie. I’ve never fucked a client before. But I could tell you were different from the second you stepped out of Yujin’s car.” His foot finishes it’s journey, completely extended, hovering lightly over Jiwoong’s dick— just grazing it, not committing.
“Fuck,” Jiwoong mutters, one hand clenching around nothing. He takes a tight breath, trying to ground himself.
He is definitely going to fuck the young health and wellness coach provided by Ricky’s fancy resort.
Matthew smiles. He commits. Foot pressing down into Jiwoong’s crotch— a pitiful whine pulled from Jiwoong’s throat.
“Hyung,” Matthew says lowly. His foot rolls in sweet little circles. Jiwoong’s cock is already filling out at a rapid pace. “What would you do if I said I want you to kiss me?”
Jiwoong swallows the spit pooling in his mouth. “I’d kiss you,” he says, voice coming out wrecked.
Matthew smiles. “And, what would you do if I said I want you to fuck me?”
“I’d—- fuck, Matthew—”
“Say it, hyung.” Matthew shoves down the ball of his foot harder, making Jiwoong jerk a little in his chair.
Jiwoong chokes on nothing. Spits out, “I’d fuck you, Matthew-yah. If that’s what you wanted.”
“Well,” Matthew says. He blinks at Jiwoong with his pretty brown eyes. “That’s what I want, hyung.”
Jiwoong gets up, Matthew’s foot clunking to the floor, a gasp leaving his lips. He looks up at Jiwoong with big eyes as Jiwoong rounds the table. He stands just as Jiwoong starts leaning down— meeting him halfway.
Their mouths come together almost violently, another gasp swallowed as soon as Matthew releases it. Jiwoong catches him before he can tip over, one hand at the small of Matthew’s back, the other fitting under his jaw. Matthew clings to his shirt, right at his chest, making needy little noises as Jiwoong deepens the kiss.
Matthew is, like he has been the entire time Jiwoong has known him, completely eager and willing. He’s deft. His arms wind around Jiwoong’s neck, and his tongue explores Jiwoong’s mouth. He’s in control, even if Jiwoong wants to pretend he’s not. There’s something completely arresting about it. Giving himself to Matthew to play with as he pleases.
“Hyung,” Matthew says, lips still pressed against Jiwoong’s.
“Mm?” Jiwoong responds, hiking Matthew closer, their bodies warm, pressed together all the way down.
“Wanna suck you off before you fuck me.”
“Fuck, Matthew.”
“Don’t get used to it— I just don’t want you to cum too soon when you’re inside of me,” Matthew grins into the kiss. He bites Jiwoong’s bottom lip when he pulls back. “It’s for selfish reasons.”
“You can have anything you want,” Jiwoong breathes. He’s sure he looks destroyed. Messy hair and swollen lips. Pupils blown out.
Matthew seems completely put together— he’s gorgeous. Dangerous as he plants his hands on Jiwoong’s chest and pushes him back towards the couch. Jiwoong yelps as his knees give out when they hit the edge of the seat. And then Matthew is on his knees, between his legs. Grinning as he goes for Jiwoong’s waistband.
“I’ve been wanting to taste you all week. I’m going crazy.”
“You make me feel crazy,” Jiwoong grits, the hand he’s dragging through Matthew’s hair tightening as soon as Matthew gets a hand on his cock, quickly stroking it to fullness.
There wasn’t much more to go. Jiwoong is almost painfully turned on. He throws his head back against the couch, swallowing down a moan as Matthew unrolls his tongue, going in with maddening kitten licks. He looks unreal like this. Jiwoong is afraid that if he looks at him for too long, he’ll finish just from holding Matthew’s eyes.
“Baby—” Jiwoong manages, chest tight. “Baby— It’s been a long time—”
“I know,” Matthew pouts. He tilts his head a bit, letting Jiwoong’s cock bounce against his mouth. “That’s why I’m giving you this one early. You can cum in my mouth, alright? As long as you kiss me afterwards.”
“Christ,” Jiwoong croaks, fighting the urge to jerk his hips up when Matthew sinks down over him again, this time going for it fully. Wet, hot mouth stretching around Jiwoong’s length, swallowing around him like it’s barely a bother.
It goes embarrassingly fast. Jiwoong’s stomach starts to coil the second Matthew looks up at him with wet eyes, and hums around him. Matthew squeezes the base of Jiwoong’s cock as he bobs his head up and down, and Jiwoong is barely able to warn him before he’s finishing into his mouth. His vision whites out, and he pulls on Matthew’s hair a bit, and Matthew moans, swallowing down Jiwoong’s mess.
Jiwoong shoves his softening cock back into his pants and drags Matthew into his lap. When Matthew kisses him, he presses the remnants of Jiwoong’s cum back into Jiwoong’s mouth, and Jiwoong can’t do anything but accept it. He swallows the taste of himself, hands kneading Matthew’s hips.
“Hyung,” Matthew says, nails dragging circles over Jiwoong’s scalp, hips bearing down. Jiwoong can feel that Matthew is getting hard, too. “I want you to take me to bed and fuck me, now.”
“Yeah,” Jiwoong replies, half stupid. “I can do that.”
Matthew smiles ear to ear.
They kiss on their way. Matthew on his tiptoes, Jiwoong bending to meet him. Rain smacks against the roof, providing a nice backdrop for the lewd, slick sound of their mouths. Jiwoong snatches Gyuvin’s freaky sex bag on his way. He drops it in the bed, and then tosses Matthew down after it.
“You’re wearing so many clothes,” Matthew sighs dramatically.
Jiwoong rolls his eyes, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the side before making for Matthew’s. Matthew puts his arms above his head, letting Jiwoong strip him, hands dragging up his flank, over his chest, until his shirt is finally off. He doesn’t waste time pulling down Matthew’s shorts. Matthew isn’t wearing any underwear.
“Jesus,” Jiwoong mutters. He backs off a bit to drink Matthew in. His lithe, softly toned body. Tiny waist, strong thighs. His dick lays uselessly against his stomach, pretty as the rest of him. “You’re so beautiful.”
“So are you, Jiwoong-ah,” Matthew whispers.
It’s enough to draw Jiwoong back in. He cages Matthew in and kisses him senseless. Fumbles for the bag as he does, feeling around for lube.
“Can I prep you?” he asks into Matthew’s mouth.
“Yeah, but I did the hard work before I came.”
Jiwoong groans onto his tongue. He looks over long enough to pull out lube (unflavored, because thankfully Gyuvin packed that, too) and a condom. His own, overstimulated dick is already gaining interest again. He feels like a teenager. His stamina shouldn’t be this good— but Matthew is doing things to him.
Matthew makes a goddamned show of it. He keens when Jiwoong presses two fingers into him, arching up off the bed with a mewl. Jiwoong’s free hand curls around his thigh, biting into soft flesh.
“More,” Matthew begs immediately.
“Patient,” Jiwoong retorts. He doesn’t know if he’s saying it for Matthew or himself.
“I’ve been patient— hyung—” Matthew tries again. He looks at Jiwoong, all flushed cheeks and slick lips, and Jiwoong realizes that he’d give Matthew anything he wanted. If he told Jiwoong to buy him a car, Jiwoong would call his dealership. If he wanted to come home with Jiwoong— Jiwoong would let him. If he wants more, he’ll get more.
Matthew’s body welcomes Jiwoong in, three fingers spreading him open. He’s tight, and warm, and Jiwoong is going to die, probably.
He pulls his fingers out, wiping his fingers off and picking up the condom. He’s too focused on rolling it on, he doesn’t even notice Matthew rolling over. Ass up on the bed, legs spread a bit, bearing his weight back to present himself.
“God— aren’t you something,” Jiwoong hisses, pouring more lube over himself, just to be cautious. He’s almost painfully hard again— his body begging him to get on with it.
Matthew is begging him to get on with it, too. He’s whining, but Jiwoong can see the corner of his smile— so full of himself. Jiwoong loves every second of it.
When he presses in, he manages to steal both of their breath. When he bottoms out, hips to Matthew’s ass, he thinks he sees god.
“You’re so tight,” Jiwoong grunts, one hand curling around underneath Matthew to palm at his cock.
“Is that some sort of bad line?”
“No—” Jiwoong laughs, a little dizzy. “It’s the truth. God, you’re perfect.”
“Then prove it,” Matthew snips.
Jiwoong does. He starts moving, slowly at first, building up a rhythm. He’s too hot— a lot overstimulated— but he’s never felt anything like this. Every time he snaps his hips forward, Matthew makes noise. He’s vocal— he’s moaning Jiwoong’s name, and pushing back into him to meet Jiwoong’s thrusts— and Jiwoong is so into it that he’s going to finish a second time before Matthew finishes once.
He speeds up the stroke of his hand around Matthew’s cock, twisting his wrist in time with his thrusts.
Matthew finally tips over the edge with Jiwoong buried inside of him— Jiwoong coaxing him on with a soft voice. He spills over Jiwoong’s fingers, and tightens around him, and Jiwoong’s legs almost give out with the force his second orgasm hits him.
He fucks Matthew through it with little uneven thrusts. Pulls out afterwards and collapses next to him on the bed, breath labored. Ties the condom off and tosses it in the direction of the trash to pick up later.
“Oh my god,” he says, head still spinning.
Matthew giggles. He giggles right after milking Jiwoong fucking dry— blowing his mind— looking like he does.
He climbs closer, pawing at Jiwoong’s chest, and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Not bad for an old guy,” he says sweetly.
Jiwoong lets out a wrecked laugh. Turns, hand finding Matthew’s cheek, and kisses him for real.
⚘
Jiwoong wakes up at five in the morning, just like he always does. It’s a blessing when he’s working— which, to be fair, is almost all the time when he’s at home. But— strangely— it feels like a blessing now, too.
Matthew is still asleep, his cheek pressed to his pillow, squished up and adorable. He’s got his hands shoved up under his head, breath rising and falling peacefully.
At some point during the night, he rolled off of Jiwoong, kicking his legs out, taking up most of the bed. Jiwoong didn’t even mind that a man Matthew’s size shouldn’t be able to take up so much of a massive, king-sized bed.
Jiwoong stares at him as long as his brain will allow without feeling like a total creep. Then he gets up, and goes for a run, leaving Matthew stirring in his wake.
He doesn’t know if Matthew will still be there when he gets back. He doesn’t know where they stand. If this was a one time thing for Matthew. A trial. If he wants to leave the memory lingering. Jiwoong wanted to leave for a bit to give him the option.
The rain from yesterday has given way to clear skies and a light humidity in the air. Birds chirp, and insects chirp, and Jiwoong thinks he’ll try to keep up the jogging when he gets home.
He’s already steeling himself for Gyuvin’s impending smugness about this trip. He’s going to brag about it forever. What a good idea it was.
His last run feels kind of cathartic. A nice loop on his time here. His legs ache, and his lungs sting— but once he gets moving, he remembers why he likes it. It feels good. Winding through the footpaths of the resort, down to the ocean, and then back up again.
Jiwoong takes a break by the water before he turns around. Sitting in the sand, staring out at the horizon. The sun is blinding, rising slowly. It’s going to be a hot day. A seagull lands a bit away, picking at something on the ground. Jiwoong watches it for a moment, and then gets up to turn around.
He feels relaxed. Much more relaxed than he’s been in the last ten years, probably.
When he gets back up to the villa, Matthew is right where Jiwoong left him in bed. But, now, he’s sitting cross-legged, with an impressive amount of breakfast food in front of him. He smiles at Jiwoong, sleepy-eyed and beautiful, waving his arms to his haul. “I ordered us food,” he says by way of explanation.
Jiwoong laughs softly, shaking his head. He sits on the bed, still all sweaty, and eats what Matthew feeds him.
They don’t talk about the implications. The fact that Jiwoong has to leave tonight. Matthew seems keen on ignoring it in favor of enjoying himself, and Jiwoong is never going to complain about that.
After they finish eating, they shower together. It’s slow, and taken between kisses. Jiwoong feels like he’s still sleeping. This shouldn’t be real. Matthew is too perfect. He’s pressing Jiwoong against the wall and jerking him off while he kisses his neck— and Jiwoong cums embarrassingly fast.
“Endorphins from running,” he excuses.
Matthew laughs at him like he’s being funny.
Jiwoong ends up walking out of the bathroom first, wrapped only in a towel. He comes face to face with Taerae through the glass villa door. He forgot to close the blinds, apparently. Taerae’s eyes go wide— and Jiwoong’s brain glitches for too long for him to turn around and stop Matthew from walking out after him.
“What are you doing, weirdo?” Matthew pinches his side, stepping out from behind Jiwoong in just his underwear.
Taerae’s jaw drops.
“Ugh,” Matthew complains. He shoves past Jiwoong’s frozen frame, throwing open the door. “Good morning, Rae!” he says cheerfully.
“I was—” Taerae’s mouth opens and closes a few times. He looks between Matthew and Jiwoong. Jiwoong and Matthew. “I just wanted to make sure you had a nice stay, Kim-nim— but, I see that it was nicer than I expected.”
Jiwoong blinks, finally coming back to life. “Yeah,” he nods. Swallows. “It was perfect.”
“Great!” Taerae laughs awkwardly. “Well. Yujin will be ready to take you to the airport at five, just meet him down in the lobby. No need to check out formally.”
“Thanks,” Jiwoong nods. He clutches his towel closer, as if that negates what Taerae has already seen.
“Okay. I’m… gonna go…” Taerae laughs again, and then he’s gone, speed walking back up the path towards the main resort.
Matthew rolls his eyes when he turns around. “He’s so dramatic.”
“Are you going to get in trouble?” Jiwoong asks, worry lingering.
“God, no. Taerae is my best friend. It’s fine.”
“Okay. Good. That’s good.” Jiwoong feels like a bobblehead the way he’s nodding. He finally manages to move himself from the living room to the bedroom when Matthew goes first. A follow the leader sort of thing.
“You need to relax,” Matthew says, a vulpine smile taking over his face. “So tense already, hyung-ah. What are we going to do about it?”
Jiwoong laughs weakly, his towel falling in a pool at his feet when Matthew drags him down onto the bed again. “I’m sure you have some good ideas. You’re good at your job.”
“I am, aren’t I?”
He is.
⚘
The day passes like the horniest movie montage in the world. By the time Matthew is done with him, Jiwoong is pretty sure he’s been wrung dry.
Matthew made good use of the cock ring Gyuvin packed. Spread him out on the bed and rode him until Jiwoong cried.
They kissed for a while. Jiwoong blew Matthew— just to get even for last night. And now they’re reaching the end of the line.
Matthew is all tucked up in bed after his second shower today. Jiwoong sits next to him, one leg folded up under himself, the other hanging off the side of the mattress.
“I have to go soon,” Jiwoong murmurs, running his fingers through Matthew’s bangs, pushing his hair out of his face.
Matthew hums. He pouts, and Jiwoong presses his thumb right to the middle of his fat lip.
“I know,” Matthew says, all sleepy and cute. “Shame we only had a day.”
Jiwoong stares at him for a long moment, continuing to toy with his hair. “Is it?” he asks. Not that he needs to know. He has to go home now.
“Of course it is. I don’t get to the city often,” Matthew says quietly. He almost sounds regretful. Jiwoong’s chest hurts a bit. “Or else I’d stow away in your suitcase and make myself your problem forever.”
“It’s okay. It was good. I had a fantastic vacation.”
“Don’t forget about me, hyung,” Matthew says, his eyes growing heavy.
“How could I forget about you, Matthew-yah?”
“Mmmnnn,” Matthew complains, eyes finally falling shut.
Jiwoong leans down and kisses the side of his head before getting up to pack. He kind of expects Matthew to wake up after all the noise he’s making, but he doesn’t. He’s all curled up, and warm, and his face is all scrunched in his sleep.
Four forty-five, and Jiwoong decides to let him sleep. They said what they needed to say. There’s no reason to draw it out. Make it hurt for longer. No reason to make Matthew deal with him any more than he has to.
Still— Jiwoong doesn’t feel comfortable with the ball being left in his court like that.
He tears off a piece of paper from the notebook on the desk. Hotel stationary. He scribbles down his message— doing something a little crazy. All of his eggs are in the basket.
If you’re ever in the city, call me. I’d like to take you out for real. - Jiwoong
Leaves his phone number at the end, and sets the note on top of Matthew’s folded clothes on the dresser.
He takes one last look at Matthew before slipping off into the evening, his suitcase at his side.
The bellboy— Gunwook— appears as Jiwoong is walking down. He acts surprised that Jiwoong beat him, but takes Jiwoong’s bag for him.
“How was your stay?” he asks cheerfully.
“It was incredible,” Jiwoong smiles. Not even a hint of insincerity in his voice.
At the pick up bay, Taerae and Gunwook stand shoulder to shoulder to wave Jiwoong goodbye. Jiwoong sits in the back of a teenager’s car, and waves back as he’s driven away from the vacation he was forced to take.
He lets out a long sigh, sinking into his seat.
Yujin draws up the partition. Maybe he can tell that Jiwoong is basking. Maybe he just doesn’t care to deal with him. Either way, Jiwoong doesn’t care.
When they get to the airport, Jiwoong tips Yujin with all the cash in his wallet. Yujin’s eyes almost fall out of his head he’s so surprised. Jiwoong pats his back, says, “You’re good at driving for a ten year old.”
Yujin squawks, but Jiwoong is long gone, laughing as he strides through the wooshing sliding doors into the airport.
⚘
Gyuvin is waiting near baggage claim with a handwritten sign that says, My Beautiful Grandpa.
Jiwoong gives him a hug anyway. Soaks in Gyuvin’s goofy smile and long limbed embrace. He really did miss the kid, somehow.
“How was it?” Gyuvin asks, taking Jiwoong’s bag for him to roll it out to his car.
“It was good,” Jiwoong sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets. He feels a little cold already.
“Good, hyung,” Gyuvin smiles, hooking his arm over Jiwoong’s shoulder.
He spends the walk to the car rattling off everything Jiwoong missed. The funniest thing ever that Ricky did, the nonsense he got up to while Jiwoong was away— sitting at his desk and pretending to be in charge.
Right before they get into the car, he shoves his hand into his pocket, coming out with a small square of paper. “Oh— by the way. I’m proud of you. Here’s all of the new passwords to your emails.”
Jiwoong almost falls to his knees and starts crying. He feels like he can breathe again. He takes Gyuvin’s face in his hands and kisses him straight on the forehead before hurrying into the car, pulling his phone out to get to work.
Gyuvin’s laugh can be heard through the door. He rounds the car and gets into the driver’s seat. Pauses before putting his keys in. “Hey, by the way, how’d it go with that guy? Did you end up…”
“No,” Jiwoong says. Shakes his head. He gives Gyuvin a fake smile, then goes back to logging into his emails. “Didn’t work out,” he lies.
“Ah, I’m sorry, hyung. You seemed really into him.”
Jiwoong shrugs. “He was too young, anyway.”
Gyuvin scowls, but he doesn’t say any more. He just starts the car and pulls out of the lot.
Jiwoong is selfish, probably, but he wants Matthew to be just for him. A lingering memory. Something he can hold close.
He doubts that Matthew will call. If he does, it’ll likely be another one night thing. Something to indulge in every once in a while. Jiwoong can make peace with that.
In a few weeks, the feeling of Matthew on his skin will fade— and in a few months, he’ll forget how Matthew tasted. Eventually, his memory will be faded at the edges, soft and dream-like. And that’s fine too.
Jiwoong doesn’t regret any part of it. He’s old enough to recognize that all things that are meant to be will happen in their own time.
He takes a deep breath. Exhales. And locks his phone until he gets home.
Eight Months Later
Fiscal year-end is always a thorn in Jiwoong’s side.
No one is fast enough, and everyone is working late. Gyuvin starts complaining more, and Jiwoong’s credit card charges for ordering food to the office go up exponentially.
This year has been good. Jiwoong is running again. He’s going out more. He connected with some of his old college buddies— so he now has a good five friends instead of two. He’s gone on a few dates, but nothing panned out, because he’s hung up on some kid he met months ago at Ricky’s fancy wellness resort. Not that anyone knows that. Gyuvin is just proud of Jiwoong for going outside more. Working less. Taking care of himself.
Earlier today, Gyuvin started talking about how they should take a vacation after they wrap up this month. Which really means that Gyuvin wants Jiwoong to take him on a free vacation. The worst part is— Jiwoong is considering it.
But, for now, it’s year-end.
Jiwoong groans, hitting save on the same spreadsheet he’s been looking at for an hour now. He drops his pen, pressing his fingers into his temples and trying to rub the headache out of his skull.
When the phone rings, he physically jumps. “Shit,” he hisses, prying open one eye to look at the ID. It’s Gyuvin’s line.
He should answer. He knows Gyuvin is probably going to whine and ask if Ricky can come hang out, or asking Jiwoong to buy him something— but he’s still got that bit of anxiety that it could be something more important.
“What, Gyuvin?” he sighs into the receiver.
“You have a call—”
“I’m busy.”
“I know, but, he seemed kind of serious?” Gyuvin’s voice tips up. “I think he’s American. But he said his name is Seok, I think?”
Jiwoong sits up straight. His heart starts beating double time, breath caught in his throat. “Canadian,” he corrects.
“Huh?” Gyuvin asks.
“Put him through.”
“Alright, here you go,” Gyuvin snorts.
The line beeps. And then, Matthew’s voice rolls out through the speaker, “Hi, hyung.”
Jiwoong is pretty sure that if he smiles any wider his face will split in two. His voice comes out wispy. A pleased little curl of, “Matthew.”
Matthew is clearly smiling too. Jiwoong can hear it in his voice, “So, about that date…”
“How long are you in town?”
“Um,” Matthew sounds a little breathless. He must be outside. On the street. Jiwoong can hear traffic. Matthew laughs. “I kind of moved back. I’m here for good.”
“And the first thing you did was call me?”
“I’ve been thinking about you for eight months straight. It’s incredibly annoying, by the way—”
“I know. I’ve been thinking about you for eight months straight, too.” Jiwoong laughs. It bubbles out of him. He’s chewing on his bottom lip like a giddy teenager. One step away from twirling the phone cord around his finger. He closes out his email without second thought. “Where are you?”
“Huh? Right now?”
“Yeah,” Jiwoong hums. “I’ll take the day. Text me an address to meet you at.”
Matthew’s laugh is just as pretty as him. Jiwoong is sure he’ll be addicted soon. It won’t take much. “You’re skipping work for me? God, I really must be special.”
“I learned how to value what’s important from some kid I met a few months ago. Some weird, spiritual resort,” Jiwoong teases.
“He sounds incredibly handsome.”
“Pain in my ass, for sure.”
Matthew takes a moment. Jiwoong can picture his blinding smile clear as day.
“I’m texting you my location now,” Matthew says.
“Can’t wait.”
Jiwoong shuts down his computer, and grabs his coat, and forgets what he’s meant to be doing in favor of acting a little crazy.
“I can’t wait either, hyung.”
Heart in his throat, Jiwoong steps out of his office and towards the door.