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The club was not James’ favourite place to be.
Even when he started university as an overly eager eighteen-year-old, he never quite understood the draw of a nightclub. Sure, the social aspects were fun. James loved talking to people and interacting with others, but the overwhelming noise of the music, the crowd, and the constant flow of bodies jostling him about made it hard for him to really thrive in such a social environment.
Especially with the alcohol.
While James liked a drink every now and then, it was difficult to really let loose and relax when there were drunk people stumbling around, shouting and fighting and shrieking. Or worse, when they threw up or passed out right there on the dance floor.
Occasionally, though, James indulged. He would let himself relax, let Remus or Lily take over babysitting their friends and drink a glass or two to loosen himself up. And it really did only take a glass to get James tipsy, a consequence of never drinking.
Like today.
To celebrate Sirius’ twenty-fourth birthday, the whole group were together at Amortentia. Drinks were flowing, everyone was in good spirits. Marlene, Lily, and Mary were on the dance floor, Peter was in a booth chatting to a girl with enormous glasses, Frank and Alice were at the bar ordering more drinks, and James leaned against the wall, nursing his second cocktail.
Cocktails were always James and Sirius’ drink of choice. While James preferred a black cat or margarita, Sirius always ordered a woo woo. Thinking of Sirius made James frown as he searched for his best friend.
Where was Sirius?
The pleasant buzz in his mind sharpened and the tartness of the lime sitting on his tongue turned sour. Where was Sirius? Another quick glance confirmed Remus was missing too. Although there was a strong chance they were together enjoying some quiet time as a couple, Remus usually made a point of finding James to tell him if such a thing were to happen—just to ease his nerves.
James set his half-full glass down on the first table he saw as he moved through the crowd, looking for long curls or Remus’ lanky limbs. Searching the crowd was easier than he expected, probably because he was so tall. Finding Remus should have been even easier considering he was somehow two inches taller than James yet Remus was nowhere to be seen.
“James!” Marlene cheered. She leaped out from behind a dancing couple to grab for his arm. “Come and dance with us!”
The music made it difficult to hear her but he shook his head. Pink and purple strobe lights flashed over her dyed blonde hair. “Can’t. Looking for Sirius and Remus.”
“I think they went outside,” Marlene shouted back. She thrust a finger towards the back end of the club. “Patio.”
“Smoking,” James said in realisation. “Of course. Thanks, Marls.”
“No problem— Hello!” Marlene turned to speak to the young woman who had just been shoved into her path by the bustling crowd.
James left her to her conversation. He felt a little stupid for not thinking of the patio sooner. While Remus was trying to quit, Sirius was a chain smoker. Tonight of all nights, he would be smoking, especially since Sirius invited his brother who had recently transferred to their university. From what James’ foggy brain could recall, Regulus had yet to turn up. Last James saw Sirius he was sipping his usual bright red woo woo and watching the main doors with sad eyes. Of course Remus would have dragged him outside to ease his mind.
The doors opened with a noisy squeak and the immediate rush of cool air soothed the heat thrumming under his skin. Nightclubs really were not his thing and he could already feel himself becoming lightheaded.
Expelling a short huff, he looked across the small patio and grinned when he saw the back of a familiar figure. Sirius was bent over slightly, elbows resting on the railing as he looked up at the night sky.
Grinning, James snuck up on him. Earlier that morning, Sirius woke him up by jumping on his bed wearing a ghostface mask and wielding a prop knife. Time for payback.
James laid his palms on Sirius’ slim waist and swivelled him around, pushing his front into the brick wall beside them. “Give me all your money—”
For some reason, Sirius reacted violently. A leg shot out to throw James off balance before he was abruptly kicked in the shin, punched in the gut, and grabbed around the neck. In a move so sudden he could hardly keep up, Sirius used his left arm to anchor himself to James’ body and flipped him over his shoulder, leaving James sprawled on his back, the cold gravel biting his skin through his shirt.
Dazed, James stared up at the person glaring down at him.
“Angels are real,” he murmured in confusion.
“Excuse me?” a haughty voice snapped.
Cabbages and gravy.
Thoughts of cabbages covered in gravy vanished as James came to a sudden realisation: he must have died. This angel was coming to take him to heaven. He almost howled in misery at the unfairness of it all. How cruel fate was to give him a soulmate only to kill him off before the big climax where they met and exchanged words and fell madly in love?
“Oh, be gentle with me, angel,” James sobbed.
“This is even worse than I imagined.” His angel sounded annoyed. “Get up you blithering idiot.”
“Fly me to the moon, so I can lay among the stars…”
“Those are not the correct lyrics.”
“Let me be with you, my angel,” James wailed.
“First meeting and you are drunk. This better not be a habit of yours. I will not put up with it.”
James rolled over and pressed his cheek to the ground. “I didn’t realise ghosts could feel.”
“You are not dead, you utter fool.”
“Have to be. Only explanation.”
“For what?”
James gazed up at the angel. “For you, my angel.”
The angel was difficult to see with it being so dark but James saw a faint smile tug at those plump, downturned lips. Heaven must have sent their prettiest angel to soothe the burn of not meeting his soulmate.
“James?”
James rolled back over and saw a familiar figure enter his field of vision. “Sirius!”
“Your idiot tried to grab me. I believe he thought I was you.”
“Nonsense, my legs are better.”
“James doesn’t tend to ogle your legs, dear,” Remus said tiredly.
“Remus! Everyone’s here. It’s a party.” James grinned only to be struck with a terrible realisation. “Oh, no. We all died.” Maybe the nightclub exploded in a fiery blaze. At least James wouldn’t be alone in the afterlife.
“What?”
“Ignore him, he seems to think he is dead.” The angel scoffed.
“Reg, what did you do to him?” Sirius sounded only vaguely disapproving.
“Nothing he did not deserve.”
Sirius sighed noisily. Hands grappled for James’ shirt and shoulders as he was hauled to his feet. James stumbled forward, arms outstretched to wrap around the beautiful angel.
“Where are your wings?”
The angel was warm and soft in his arms. “For the last time, I am not an angel. Although, it appears I have the unfortunate honour of being your soulmate.”
James stared through bleary eyes, mind sluggishly catching up. The angel wasn’t an angel after all, just his soulmate.
His soulmate.
How could that be possible? James knew his words front to back. Easy enough, considering there were only two of them. Like most kids lucky enough to be blessed with their words early, he grew up learning to write his soulmate words. First was his name, then ‘excuse me’.
If James were less of a romantic he would have lamented his mark for being so mundane. He heard ‘excuse me’ near enough every day. In the cramped aisles of the supermarket, in line at the bank, and even just standing outside his house, the words ‘excuse me’ were uttered around the clock.
Suddenly, James remembered what the angel said after flipping him. When James first called him an angel, that sharp, softly accented voice snapped—
“Excuse me,” James murmured as one hand drifted to the words written on his chest. Cabbage and gravy, sat on the tip of his tongue.
“Yes, I believe that is what I said.”
“And I…” James tried to remember.
The angelic not-angel huffed. “My aunt enrolled me in self-defence courses as soon as I was old enough to walk much to my mother’s chagrin. I assumed I would be abducted by the madman I was unfortunate enough to be cosmically tied to.”
James blinked.
“Give me all your money,” Sirius said slowly.
“Your friend has an odd sense of humour.”
“He’s a dead man walking.”
Remus hummed. “Leave him be, love, he can’t help it. You don’t get to choose your words.”
“He tried to rob Reggie!”
“He thought he was you.”
“Which is even more insulting! I’m nowhere near that short or ghoulishly pale.”
“Rude,” the angelic man who was apparently his soulmate said. “As if I want to be confused for you. You have split ends.”
“I do not!”
“And your nail polish is chipped. Have you never heard of a top coat?”
“It’s fashionable.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
James wanted to laugh. His soulmate was mean but in a funny way.
Soulmate.
The puzzle pieces snapped together and James flinched as the tipsy haze clouding his mind vanished in a flash.
Hysterical, James laughed.
Then he cried.
“Oh, no,” the angel who was not an angel said. “What is he doing?”
“Crying. You should know all about that. I remember you were the biggest crybaby growing up—”
“Shut up, Sirius. I mean, why is he crying?”
“It’s James,” Remus said flatly. “He’s very emotional.”
“I’m not dead!” James wailed. His soulmate stepped away from him and he cried even harder.
“Would you like to be?” Sirius asked snidely.
“Sirius,” Remus said.
“What?”
Remus snorted. “Why did you think you were dead?”
“He’s so pretty,” James sobbed. “My angel.”
“I’m going to be sick,” Sirius said.
“I’m not dead,” James cried again. A thought struck him and he moaned in horror. “I attacked my soulmate! Sirius, you have to kill me.”
“Okay.”
“Sirius!”
“You heard him? It’s merciful.”
“If anyone touches him I will slit their throat, and that includes you,” his lovely soulmate snapped.
“Oh, great. Reg’s caught feelings. Who knew such a thing was possible?” Sirius huffed.
“He is my soulmate. I decide whether he dies or not.”
Remus made a confused noise. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“It does if I say it does.”
James wanted to lay back down on the floor and die. Sniffling, he turned to his soulmate and tugged him closer by the sleeve of his jacket. “Hello.”
“Unhand me.”
James did.
“Take my hand.”
James was really good at following instructions.
“Good. Do not let go.” James ambled along blindly as he was guided out of the little patio area at the back of the club, cutting through the alleyway to the main road. They continued walking, James half a step behind his soulmate.
His soulmate.
There was a soft beep before a door opened. James climbed inside the car, settling in the passenger seat. His soulmate vanished for a moment and James’ heart rate picked up in fear. Was his soulmate leaving him here? But then the door on the other side of the car opened and the overhead light came on, illuminating the beautiful young man sliding into the driver’s seat.
“Is this Sirius’ car?” James asked numbly. The scent of tobacco and vanilla was both familiar and comforting.
“Yes.” The man shoved the key into the ignition and carefully pulled out from where Sirius parked against the curb. “Remus will take him home.”
“Where are we going?”
“To get you something to eat. You must have drank a lot to be so out of it.”
“Only two glasses.”
The man snorted. “Either you are a lightweight or lying.”
“Lightweight. I never drink.”
“Good, I loathe alcohol.” At least he wasn’t drunk driving. James probably should have checked that before climbing into the car with him. He was still somewhat affected by the drinks he had although he was rapidly gaining clarity.
James blinked. “We met at a club.”
“I was forced there against my will. Sirius insisted.”
“You know Sirius?”
The man smiled. “I do hope you are not concussed.”
“Huh?”
“Have you not figured it out yet? You managed to confuse the two of us—I thought it would be rather obvious after that.”
James tried to connect the dots but for some reason he was terrible at those. Mama always said it was a testament to his creativity and imagination—he was always able to make a completely different picture out of the array of dots.
So, James did what he did best. He admired the stunning man beside him.
This mystery man did look remarkably similar to Sirius. His hair was shorter but the curl and colour was identical. Their eyes were the same shape if not the same colour, and their features were so close they could almost have been direct copies. Their noses, their chins, their high cheekbones, and even their jawlines…
Sirius knew him, was comfortable enough with him to tease…
A memory came back to him. Sirius called him Reg on the patio.
“Regulus,” James said abruptly. “You’re Sirius’ little brother.”
“Gold star.”
“You.”
Regulus glanced at him. “Excuse me?”
James’ heart flipped. “Cabbages and gravy,” he said reflexively.
Instead of looking at him like he was insane, Regulus laughed softly. “My friend Dorcas has a similar trick. Her words are ‘hello’. She has trained herself to respond with ‘I hate that song’. Says it to complete strangers all the time.”
“My mama came up with the idea.” James fiddled with the zipper of his jacket. “I’m sorry for what I said. My words to you… Did you think I was some madman?”
“Somewhat. I presumed you were a robber.”
What a dreadful impression to make on a man he had not even met yet. Mama and Papa were going to laugh themselves sick once he told them. He would have to make sure they didn’t jump the gun and start ordering wedding cakes. Not until he knew what flavour Regulus would prefer.
“Anyway, I would like to apologise for how plain my words are. I imagine they have inspired much false hope. At least mine were unique,” Regulus said with a faint smile.
“You still beat me up.”
“I did not realise what you said at first,” Regulus admitted with a pink flush on his face. James had the bizarre urge to lean in and bite the soft skin of his cheek. “All I felt were unfamiliar hands on me. I reacted as I had been taught to.”
“Self-defence,” he recalled.
“Aunt Cassiopeia thought my words were an omen. She was always very paranoid. I think she thought it meant I would be in high-risk situations frequently and wanted to ensure I could respond appropriately.”
James knew Sirius’ favourite aunt died several years ago. “From what I’ve heard, she sounded like a good person.”
Regulus laughed and James’ heart almost sprung out of his chest. “I can only imagine what you have heard, then. Aunt Cass was anything but.”
“Really?”
“She was exceptionally cruel to everyone she met. She was the type to kick puppies and spit on orphans.” Regulus smiled sadly. “I miss her dearly.”
Sometimes, James forgot how odd the Black family were. ‘Normal’ by Black standards was at least somewhat crazy by mundane metrics. If Regulus described Cassiopeia as someone so unkind, she was probably the antichrist in heels.
“You seem very fond of someone who was supposedly cruel.”
“Oh, she was incredibly kind to those she liked.”
“Kind,” James repeated flatly. Kicking puppies was kind for the Blacks. Typical.
“In her own way.”
“Who did she like?”
Regulus hummed as he drove carefully. “She despised everyone except Grandmother Melania, Narcissa, Sirius, and myself. She tolerated Uncle Alphard and Grandfather Arcturus.”
“What about Andromeda and Bellatrix?”
“Bellatrix was too unstable even for Aunt Cass while Andromeda was too soft. Narcissa is the perfect balance of both.”
“Would she have liked me?”
“Not in the slightest.”
James smiled. “Why do I get the feeling that’s a compliment?”
Regulus only looked at him, his dazzling eyes sparkling as they pulled up outside a small, square building. “Come on.”
James tripped over the seatbelt as he tried to hurt after him. The door slammed noisily, disrupting the previous serenity of the street. ”Where are we?”
“My best friend owns a cafe, he inherited it from his maternal aunt. I thought he would be rid of the place but it turns out he has a knack for cooking.” Regulus unlocked the door and held it open for James.
Although James wanted to say ‘you know other men?’ he knew that would be an insane thing to say to someone he hardly knew.
Instead, he said, “You have a key?”
“I did say he is my best friend. I am sure you have a key to Sirius’ flat.”
James followed Regulus into the cafe and almost tripped again on a chair. “Sorry,” he apologised quickly when the wooden legs groaned in protest as they were dragged across the tile.
“Are you always this clumsy?”
“I had two cocktails.”
Regulus smirked. “Margaritas?”
“How did you know?”
A slim finger gestured to James’ front. “You must have spilled some on you, I can smell the lime.”
James’ face went hot. “Oh.” He was making a terrible impression on his soulmate.
Might as well go all out.
“I think I might be in love with you,” James said earnestly.
Regulus paused where he was halfway to the counter. Slowly, he continued walking behind the empty display case to the kitchen. When he disappeared, James’ head lowered and he covered his face.
Sitting down in the nearest booth, he pondered his existence. Surely, his parents would understand if he launched himself off the nearest bridge. Not that it would stop his mama or Sirius coming to the afterlife to drag him back. Papa would probably be too busy laughing when Regulus told them what happened.
A plate slid across the table and James startled, daydreams of himself free falling through the air vanished when he saw a collection of baked goods laid out in front of him. Two large chocolate brownies, several stacked biscuits and cookies, a collection of small blueberry muffins, and two large, perfectly flaky sausage rolls.
Regulus disappeared again, then returned with two mugs in his hands. James leaped to his feet to capture the drinks, sloshing one of them over his hand. Luckily, the mugs were full of cold water so he didn’t receive anything more than a slight shiver for his misdeed.
“Thank you,” James said as he set them down.
Regulus brushed away some of the stray droplets of water on his sleeve. “The least I could do for a man who professes his undying love for me.”
James’ face went hot. “I never said that.”
“Is it untrue?”
James averted his gaze. If Regulus wanted, he would fall on bended knees, hands raised to the sky as he shouted for the heavens to hear his devotion.
“Eat something, soak up the alcohol,” Regulus said plainly as he sat opposite him at the table. One of the blueberry muffins was scooped up in long, thin fingers. Enraptured, James watched as the pale digits wrapped around the muffin, tearing off a small piece to place on his pink tongue. Plump lips closed around the treat, and James clutched the edge of the table to keep himself grounded. If he weren’t careful, he would start floating soon.
Blindly, James grabbed for the first thing on the plate which happened to be a sausage roll. Maybe it was the alcohol but it tasted great.
“Good?” Regulus asked.
Mouth full, James nodded.
“Barty makes those himself. He’ll be pleased.”
James wondered if spitting it out and throwing the rest on the floor would be an overreaction.
“I helped with these.” Regulus pointed to the muffins and the brownies. “They happen to be my favourite.”
“How come there are so many leftovers?”
“There usually is. Barty seals them up and aside from anything with meat, they keep for a few days. Not suitable to be sold to the public but fine for friends and staff for snacking on.”
“Will he mind that you’ve given some to me?” James hoped so. He hoped this Barty would be sick to his stomach at the idea of Regulus giving James the fruits of his labour just because they were soulmates.
Amused, Regulus shrugged. “Probably, although not for the reasons you might think. Barty is incredibly protective.”
“Oh?”
“Much like Sirius.”
“Oh.” With any luck, Barty didn’t carry around a knife like Sirius did. “Have you known him long?”
“As long as you have known Sirius.”
“So, no chance of that friendship ending?” He tried not to let the hope creep into his voice.
Regulus snickered. “Unless you would like to wake up with one of your kidneys missing, I suggest you never mention such a thing in his presence.”
James sighed. “You’re my soulmate.”
“I’m also his.”
James’ stomach plummeted. A triad? Impossible. James only had one mark. Unless this was a hinge-triad…
“Platonically,” Regulus clarified. “We have platonic marks. Shared symbols rather than words.”
Relief swept through his chest. “Thank fuck.”
Regulus smiled. “You are adorable.”
“What are your marks?”
Lifting his sleeve, Regulus exposed the full length of what James originally thought was a regular tattoo but even in the dim light of the bakery he could tell it was a soulmark. The edges of the mark were too straight, the ink too bold with a slight glittering sheen—much like the words written on James’ own skin.
“A dragon curled around a dagger.” James wanted to reach out and trace the lines but touching a soulmate mark was reserved for only the closest of pairs. Jealously, he wondered if Barty ever touched James’ words on Regulus’ skin. “It’s beautiful,” he admitted reluctantly.
Regulus smiled. “Thank you. We spent a long time trying to figure out which of us is the dragon and which of us is the dagger. Personally, I believe myself to be the dagger. I am not in the habit of hoarding gold although I am known to be needlessly cruel. Just so you know what you are getting into.”
“I think a dagger is all about duality,” James said with a frown as he stared at the blade. “Both sides are sharp, unlike a regular knife. You aren’t just one thing or another, you’re both. The good and the bad.”
“You think a dagger can be good?”
“Of course. Daggers can be used for the protection of others and the self, to swear oaths in blood, to help you navigate treacherous terrain…”
“And they are easily concealed. Perfect for underhand attacks and needless violence.”
James chewed on one of the biscuits thoughtfully. To his dismay, they were lovely. “Maybe somebody needs to be prepared to make the hard decisions. To make sacrifices.”
“How romantic.” Regulus avoided his gaze as he picked up one of the brownies. “Barty usually just says I should be pleased because daggers are cool although not as cool as dragons.”
Pride burned deep in his chest. Swelling with the triumph of having won a competition of his own making, James plucked one of the muffins and took a hearty bite.
Leftover lime and the sweet tang of blueberries blended together on his tongue and James moaned at the taste.
“These are brilliant!”
Regulus’ pale cheeks turned pink. “Thank you. I made those entirely by myself.”
They stayed quiet for some time. The buzz of the alcohol in his system faded the more he ate and soon enough the plate was completely empty. Unfortunately, James adored every bite and he could already envision himself coming by to pick up more of those delicious brownies and heavenly muffins. Even the sausage roll had been perfection.
“Do you work here?” James asked after Regulus took the plate to the kitchen.
Regulus shook his head. “I am a veterinarian. Sometimes I help out here when I am bored.”
“I can’t imagine being a vet is very boring.”
“On my days off. I do not like to sit idle.”
James found himself thinking back to all the things Sirius said about his brother. For someone who adored his sibling more than anything else in the world, Sirius hardly spoke about him. Probably out of some bizarre need to hoard all of his time and attention. He distinctly remembered hearing Sirius and a voice he now realised was Regulus bickering on the phone one evening when that very topic came up.
He also remembered everything about their parents. How Walburga trained her children to always keep busy. Whether it was music lessons, studying, or other activities, they were always on their toes, always working, always trying to please her.
“I’m an author,” James offered. “I spend a lot of time thinking.”
Regulus smiled bitterly. “Not a good idea for me.”
Although James knew the brothers were not the same person, he was grateful for the insight he had through knowing Sirius as well as he did. When Sirius spent more than a day by himself with no tasks to distract him, he grew sad. Feeling resentful and angry came after, then he swung back to bitter depression and listlessness. If Regulus were anything like his brother in that regard, he could understand why he would spend his days off in the kitchen of a busy bakery rather than home alone.
“Being around others helps,” James said finally. “Usually I go and visit my parents or I hover around Remus at his shop. We don’t even have to talk, I’ll just sit in the back or in my room jotting down ideas, planning, and writing.”
“It’s good to know someone is always there,” Regulus said softly. “If you need them.”
Smiling, James nodded. “Exactly that.”
Regulus’ fingers danced across the table to tug at James’ sleeve. “Do you really want this?”
“Absolutely.”
“You must know what I am like. I can be cold, cruel—”
“The dagger has two sides, remember?”
“You said it yourself, both are equally as sharp.”
“Maybe I like sharp.”
“You wouldn’t like having a knife held to your throat, James.”
The sound of his name in that soft, vaguely accented voice made him shiver. “I think I would if it was your hand holding the blade.”
Regulus sighed, eyelashes fluttering as his eyes slipped closed. James watched his throat bob, cheeks pinkening even more.
Stunning.
“So…” James tapped the table. “I’ve always liked Seychelles for my honeymoon.”
Bright and clear, Regulus laughed.
And maybe it was James’ imagination, but he was sure he could hear wedding bells ringing.