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“Guess who got Wilson tickets to see some play this weekend.” House said as he entered the room filled with their colleagues.
“What? Why? When has he ever shown any interest in theater?” Chase asked.
“I'm not sure, but when I was at his house yesterday I found his secret thespian stash I guess. He had all these poems and scripts and at least half were written by one ‘Todd Anderson’ whoever that is.” House shrugged as he tossed a poem book and a script that he stole from the man's house on the table.
“Did you steal these from him?” Cuddy asked, plucking the book off of the table.
“Yes. He never told me not to.”
“These are oddly romantic… I never thought he liked any of his wives enough to read them romantic poetry.” Cuddy remarked, glancing through the book, “Sad, too.”
“They say home is where the heart is, but with you, home is wherever you are. Now that you've disappeared, so has my heart.” Chase read aloud as House tried to rid himself of the disgust on his face. “I think it's sweet. Maybe he's found love at last.”
“With how his past three wives have gone, I doubt it.” House said out loud which resulted in a snort from Cuddy.
“Are you sure he would even want to go? You might be pressuring him into this…”
“Don't worry, you're invited too, Wilson might bust seeing this play in real time and I'd rather not be the only one going.” House said with a wink to Cuddy.
“Well, who am I to turn down a show? This weekend, you said?” She answered him with a bright laugh.
“What's all this?” Wilson asked as he made his way into the room, barely sparing the paper on the table a glance before looking at House.
“You know Wilson, I'm so hungry… I could eat Todd Anderson.” Dr. House said with a grin.
Wilson froze, he looked like a deer in headlights and he didn't say a single word for a good minute. The room was still and the only movement was House raising his eyebrow and the others in the room exchanging glances.
“How do you know that name?” Wilson said, finally moving from where it seemed like he was stuck.
“Found your poetry and play stash,” House gestured to the open poetry book and script on the table, “you seem to be pretty obsessed with the guy.”
Wilson made a dive for the writing and stuffed them into his bag, “Yes. He's a great playwright and an even better poet. Why were you going through my bedside drawers?”
“Why do you keep those in your bedside drawer? I get they're romantic but they're nothing to jerk off to.” House snarked, turning around to grab a bottle of water. “Anyway, good thing I got us tickets to see one of his plays this weekend. He's supposedly gonna be there.”
Wilson froze again, terror evident on his face, “What? Why? Why did you do that?”
“What? I'm trying to encourage my friend to see something he enjoys more than whatever he's doing now.”
Wilson flushes but doesn't disagree, “Thats... I haven't been in a theater in twenty years. I can't change that now.”
"Too bad. It'll be fine, Cuddy and I will be going along with you, no need to feel anxious about meeting your little poet for the first time.” House says with a smirk and then hobbles out of their break room with Wilson objecting about something behind him.
Wilson was panicking. The play was tonight and he didn't have an outfit, an idea of what he was going to say, or a name. Logic was telling him to dress casually, pretend he was simply a fan going to see his favorite play, and be Wilson, the man he had been pretending to be for the last twenty years, but his heart was telling him something different. His heart was telling him to dress up just enough so that if he were to see Todd, he would compliment his outfit. His heart was telling him to go in there as Todd's friend, his friend that he hadn't seen in twenty years, and speak to him. Tell him how he misses and loves him. His heart was telling him to go in as Neil, as Todd's roommate and explain all that happened.
The least logical part of his brain was telling him to go in as Puck, play a role that no one was very used to seeing him as and to hide beneath that. Though, that would probably end in the most catastrophe.
Neil wasn't even sure what his father had said to his friends, whatever it was it kept them from ever calling or reaching out to him again, so it must have been bad. That was what kept Neil himself from reaching out all these years, even after his father had passed. Instead he kept tabs on all of his friends. Knox was a lawyer, Cameron an accountant, Meeks and Pitts ended up getting some of their works patented, and Charlie was a professional musician, playing in orchestras for musicals.
Todd was amazing. He still wrote and every word that was on each page felt like magic. Neil had so many poems of his memorized that some may find him crazed. Neil would second that, love makes you crazy.
Though he supposes he ought to not call it that. For all Neil knows, Todd hasn't thought about him since the dreadful night of the play, where Neil had nearly escaped the hell that was his father. Instead he was caught and forced into a much worse hell.
God, Neil Perry thought to himself, this is going to be a dreadful night.
Wilson decided to go casual, but not how he normally would, he let himself go ever so slightly and wore his sweater that he wore all those years ago, the green one that he kept for some reason. The green one that Todd had mistakenly thrown on, on multiple occasions. Mistakenly the first time, the next few were just to ‘annoy’ Neil, though he could hardly say he was annoyed.
-
“Todd?” Neil called for his roommate as he walked into the half lit room, his study session with Meeks went too late.
“Mmh” Todd grumbled where his head was slumped onto his desk, next to his algebra homework.
He was adorned in a slightly too large green sweater that looked slightly too familiar to Neil's own. Neil couldn't help but grin at the sight.
“Is that my sweater?” Neil closed the door behind him and set the books onto his desk, hitting his hand on the chair in the process. It really is too dark here.
“I don't know, is it?” Todd asked, not awake enough to open his eyes. Neil let out a chuckle as he watched as Todd's eyelashes fluttered, not wide enough for his blue irises to show.
“I believe it is.” Neil mumbled softly, a grin falling onto his face as he watched his roommate struggle to fully open his eyes yet again. ‘He is beautiful.’ Was the only thing going through his mind at the time, which, admittedly, wasn't a very straight thing.
“Shit, I'm sorry Neil. I'll take it off.” Todd suddenly seemed more awake, but certainly not awake enough to think. He reached to take the sweater off, lifting it just enough that Neil could see his toned back, and the dip of his spine. Neil's eyes latched on fast, but soon enough the sight was taken away from him by the falling of the sweater once again. “I, uh, forgot I didn't have a shirt on under this. I'll have to go get changed, sorry.”
Neil was still frozen in place from the glimpse of heaven that he had caught earlier. He snapped out of it right before Todd was about to leave in order to tell him not to.
“You're fine Todd, I have plenty of sweaters, you can wear that one tonight.” Neil beamed at him, faintly aware of the blush that was dusting his cheekbones and the tips of his ears.
Todd smiled at him sweetly, his eyes making Neil melt. God, I could drown in those things…
-
The next few times he wore it Neil could have passed away on the spot, luckily he didn't end up saying anything too stupid.
Wilson wasn't sure if he was getting picked up or if he had to find his own ride, which would be unfortunate because he didn't not have his own ticket. His dilemma was quickly solved when the screeching of tires pulled into his driveway. Cuddy already sat in the front seat, so Wilson opened the back door.
“Can't say I've ever seen that sweater on you Wilson.” House scoffed, looking into the rear view mirror. “It looks old.”
“I like it, Wilson. It's very vintage, when did you get it?” Cuddy asked.
“I've had it.” Was all Wilson said and continued staring out the window. His heart rate had begun to pick up. He hadn't realized how terrifying this situation was until it was too late to turn around. He was seriously considering opening the door and jumping out of the moving car.
All too soon they were outside of the theater and Wilson was terrified. House and Cuddy got out while bickering quietly, but Wilson wanted nothing more than to stay in the car. He couldn't go in. It was all too much and James Wilson wanted nothing more than to go home and read poems by his favorite poet.
Neil Perry on the other hand was dying to enter that building. He was dying to step foot into a theater again, to see his friends again, Charlie, Meeks, Pitts, Cameron, and Knox. And finally Todd. The man that hadn't left his mind since that fateful night in winter. His favorite poet. The one person he had never been able to truly get over. Todd Anderson, the most beautiful human he had ever been able to set his eyes upon.
Wilson didn't get to make a choice, as he was forcibly pulled from his safe place in the car. “What the hell?”
“Well you didn't seem like you were going to be getting out anytime soon, were you. Maybe you'll find some theater nerd hottie in here, you never know, so stop moping.” House snapped as he balanced on his cane.
They ended up making their way into the theater, Wilson trailing behind the other two, hunched over ever so slightly.
As they made their way into the theater Neil straightened, his eyes wide as he took in the beautiful stage and rich red closed curtains with golden tassels. Just below the stage was the space for an orchestra and Neil imagined Charlie down in the pit, playing away on his saxophone. His heart clenched at the thought.
Cuddy raised an eyebrow at Wilson and mumbled something about getting them drinks.
“I'm gonna go with her, you enjoy yourself a bit Wilson.” House sent him a wink and headed off, leaving Neil alone with his ticket and a baffled expression.
He felt someone bump into him from behind followed by a quick apology. Neil went to respond before freezing in his tracks.
There right in front of him was Steven Meeks.
Neil froze.
He wasn't sure what to do, he wasn't sure if Meeks would even recognize him. It had been twenty years without any contact, so Neil wouldn't blame him.
Meeks did recognize him, it seemed. He looked visibly confused and couldn't seem to process what might be in front of him.
“I…” Steven looked at him again, shaking his head as to maybe be able to understand what was in front of him slightly better. He looked back up and still looked distraught, but slightly more calm. “Sorry, you look like someone who I lost a while back. I'm Steven Meeks.”
Meeks stuck his hand out and Neil was frozen once again. It felt like his mouth was full of cotton and he couldn't breathe. This was worse than stage fright, this was just pure anxiety.
“Meeks…” He could barely get the name out of his mouth.
Steven continued his trend of looking confused but this time it was as if he was trying to figure something out in his head. Like there was something in front of him that he couldn't fully comprehend, but was forcibly trying to.
“It's Neil. Neil Perry.” He finally got out through his mouthful of anxiety.
Meeks’ mouth fell open and his eyebrows knit together. “No… you're not Neil… you can't be, he's… not with us anymore. But, you… I'm so confused right now.”
“Meeks. I'm Neil. What do you mean I'm not with you anymore? What did my father tell you?” Neil choked out, panic diluting his euphoria of seeing one of his best friends once again.
“Neil, he told us you killed yourself. You had a funeral and everything.” Meeks looked like he was on the verge of tears, and anger flooded through Neil. How could he tell them that? How could he make them believe that I went through with my plan and abandoned my family on purpose?
“Well that explains why he made me change my name.” Neil choked out, attempting to laugh, but all he made out was a gentle sob.
Meek's eyes went wide and watery and pulled Neil into a tight hug. It was what Neil needed to know that this was real, and that he might be seeing the rest of his friends again. He might be seeing Todd Anderson again.
They let go of their embrace and Neil saw House approaching as quickly as he could without toppling over. Neil's eyes went large and he looked to Meeks, who still looked teary eyed. “I know this is kind of sudden, but I need you to call me James Wilson around other people, especially the ones I came here with. I'll explain later, but just trust me on this, okay?”
Meeks nodded enthusiastically and wiped his tears up quickly.
“Wilson! Who's this?” House said and threw his arms up in the air upon making it to them. This nearly wacked Cuddy in the face.
“House, this is Steven Meeks, Meeks, this is Gregory House.” Neil said, smiling warmly at the two.
“Wilson, I've gotta be honest, when I said find a theater nerd hottie, I was expecting a girl.” House exclaimed with a grin.
Meeks let out a polite laugh and shook his head, “While I appreciate being called a theater nerd hottie, I'm truly only here to support my friend. I'm supposed to be meeting him in one of the balcony seats soon. I actually wanted to ask James here if he wanted to join me up there?”
Neil's mouth went ever so slightly agape, this would mean seeing Todd again. He couldn't pass this up, at all. “I would love to, Meeks.”
“Ah, looks like someone has a date!” House cackled and Cuddy let out a light chuckle.
Meeks let out another polite chuckle and gave Neil another knowing look, “Please, I'm way out of his league. Besides, my boyfriend's upstairs.”
Neil choked a little bit on air and gave Meeks a confused and rather concerned look.
“Oh? Tell us how it goes, Wilson. Have fun.” House winked and hooked his arm around Cuddy to go off to their seats.
Neil walked with Meeks for a few seconds before deciding to further interrogate him on the implications of what he said, “What did that mean?”
Meeks raised an eyebrow to gesture Neil on to further elaborate.
“What you said, you have a boyfriend? What does that mean?”
“People are gay, Neil.” Meeks rolled his eyes as he turned into the stairwell.
“Well, yeah.” Neil rolled his eyes, but didn't care to question further. “Who's all upstairs?”
Meeks looked to where Neil was visibly growing more nervous by the second. He sighed and took him by the shoulder. “It's just the poets Neil, you have nothing to worry about. They're going to be overjoyed to see you and you're going to be happy to see them.”
“The poets and your boyfriend.”
“Neil, my boyfriend is a poet, dumbass.” Meeks rolled his eyes and continued going up the final flight of stairs.
Meeks is dating a poet? Was the last thing that went through Neil's head as Meeks open the door to the balcony.
“Meeksie!” Pitts yelped as he came barreling through the door to embrace him. Neil was still lagging behind so no one inside of the room could see him. Pitts, on the other hand, did see him.
He froze in Meeks arms and knit his eyebrows tightly. “Who's this?” Was all he said, slightly out of breath.
“Exactly who you think.” Meeks whispered to him.
Pitts detailed himself from Meeks and made his way to where Neil was standing. “Holy shit.”
Neil's face broke into a sad smile, “Hey Pittsie.”
Pitts took a few steps forward before he was right in front of Neil and greeted him with a tight hug. He let go in a few seconds, but held on to his arms.
“What's taking you two so long? You better not be making out!” Neil made out the voice of Charlie from their private balcony. So that's who Meeks is dating… not surprised, they've always been close.
“Charlie, you should probably come out here. Knox, Cameron, you guys too.” Meeks said before taking a deep breath, Pitts took a step away from Neil, “Whatever you do, brace yourselves because you're about to see something you're not prepared for.”
“I swear to God if you and Pitts are fucking I’ll-” Charlie cut off as he made eye contact with Neil. He choked a bit before his eyes widened, and suddenly Neil was on the ground with a fully grown man on top of him.
“What the hell Charlie? Did you tackle some poor man?” Was the first thing that came out of Knox's mouth upon seeing the sight. He clearly hadn't seen who the poor man Charlie tackled was yet.
“Oh, Neil. I thought you were dead, we all did. We thought we lost you forever. I miss you so much,” Charlie was beginning to get teary eyed and his words were coming out more as incoherent mumbles.
As Charlie and Neil moved into an upright position Knox and Cameron both got a clear view of the ‘dead’ poet and whatever words were forming on their tongues became lost to the world.
“Neil?” Knox finally uttered weakly.
“The one and only…” Neil offered him a small smile, and then they were all on the floor again. Cameron couldn't seem to find his words, but he did end up finding his momentum.
“Oh Neil, buddy, we missed you.” Knox said from where he ended up next to the two of them, grabbing onto Neil's arm instead of joining the dog pile.
Meeks chuckled at his friends sprawled out on the floor and shook his head, “Come on guys, let the guy breathe a bit.”
They slowly all got up off of the floor and made their way to the balcony. “So, where's Todd?” Was one of the first things out of Neil's mouth.
“Why am I not surprised that's your top priority?” Charlie chuckled before continuing, “He's backstage, won't be here until intermission.” Charlie thought for a second before continuing, “He'll be happy to see you.”
The first half of the play went perfect. The actors were everything Neil had ever dreamed to be. It was an odd nostalgic feeling, watching the stage instead of being on it.
Neil was anxiously awaiting intermission and when it finally came around he didn't have a clue what to do. He was finally going to see Todd after waiting for years and while he knew he was happy, he wasn't sure what else to feel about it.
After about five minutes of talking with the rest of the poets they heard the door creak open.
“Sorry I couldn't watch the first act with you, they were having problems backstage and I wanted to-” There he was in front of him. The most alluring man Neil had ever seen. Todd had matured beautifully. His hair was still long and blonde, but his face had sharpened and he had a slight stubble on his face from likely not shaving that morning. He was magnificent.
Neil was so busy staring that he didn't quite notice that Todd had stopped talking and was instead staring back. He didn't look as confused as the others had, he just looked vacant. The others picked up on this and seemed uncomfortable.
“We're going to go and get us some drinks. We'll be back. You two talk.” Knox said before grabbing Charlie and Meeks’ hands and forcibly pulling them out while Cameron and Pitts followed independently.
There was silence. Neil wasn't sure what to say. He dreamed of this moment, hadn't been able to stop thinking about it for years, and now all the sudden he isn't able to think of a single thing to say. This bugged him immeasurably.
“Todd.” He finally uttered with difficulty.
“...if I say your name out loud I'm scared I'm going to be wrong. Or that I'll be dreaming.” Todd answered. He no longer looked expressionless, he looked mortified.
“I'm real, Todd. I'm who you think I am. I'm- it's Neil. And I'm really sorry about leaving you and I would like to explain.” Neil said softly and patted the seat next to him as an offering.
Todd moved closer but didn't sit directly next to Neil, instead moving to an armrest on another chair.
“Forgive me for not exactly believing what's in front of me. It's just…” Todd let out a sigh and threaded his fingers together, “I've been wishing for this moment to happen and now that it's in front of me, I don't believe it.”
“I understand Todd. I've been dreaming of this moment too, I just wasn't sure what my father told you all to make you stop speaking to me. I thought that you all must have hated me.” Neil said, reaching his hand forward as if to grab for Todd's hand, but then dropped it.
“Neil, I-” Todd began before the door to the balcony opened again and the rest of the poets pilled in. Todd didn't end up finishing whatever he was going to say, it was lost in the chaos of getting ready for the second act of the show.
The second act was just as amazing as the first. The ending made Neil tear up quite a bit and the thought that it all came from the man only a few feet away from him was electrifying. He knew how much talent Todd had, as he had read his books and scripts, but to know that all of this beautiful writing that was being performed in front of him came from the mind of the anxious, shy teenager he once knew was beautiful.
Charlie sniffled beside him and rubbed his eyes, presumably ridding them of tears, “That was really good, Toddy.”
When Neil looked at Todd, he was already looking at him. It was a searching stare that Neil couldn't help but hold onto. Todd’s eyes were even more beautiful than he had remembered, an intoxicating blue that reminded him of the sky--clear and beautiful.
Meeks cleared his throat and shot the two of them a knowing smile, “Hey Toddy, you got your housing all figured out tonight, right?”
Todd’s eyes went wide, “Shit, I forgot to… do you think a hotel will take me this last minutes, or-”
“I’m sure Neil would take you, you've got a whole house now, right, man? Being a doctor and all.” Meeks interrupted with his grin growing wider.
“Could you? If not, that's okay, I don't want to bother you. I know we don't know each other very well anymore, and-” Todd rambled, Neil couldn't stand to watch him continue to spiral, so he interrupted.
“Todd, I would love to have you stay at my house. It'll be like old times.” Neil grinned at him. Todd gave him a slight smile in return, and out of the corner of his eye, Neil could see Charlie and Meeks exchange a look that Neil didn’t have the energy to dissect.
“Perfect. Now Pittsie and I are gonna head out now. Todd, the show was incredible, I’m so excited to see your next one! Love you guys!” Meeks called while pulling Pitts by the waist out the door.
“By Neil!” Pitts called as he was dragged away.
“Yeah, we should probably get going now. Todd, impeccable writing as usual. Neil, I can't wait to see you again at a later date, because we will be meeting up again, right?” Knox stood up and Charlie, and Cameron followed suit.
“Of course Knox, bye everyone, it was nice to see you all again!” Neil shouted as the three poets filed out.
Neil turned to Todd who was once again expressionless while staring at him. It made Neil miss the times when he was able to read every expression on Todd's face without a second glance, but this was just more motivation to get to know his best friend again.
“Give me your phone.” Todd finally said. Neil stared at him blankly, why does he want my phone? “So that you can send me your address, dumbass.”
There it was. Neil's favorite sight in the whole world. Todd Anderson's smile. What a beautiful creature.
“Right, right, sorry.” He handed his phone over as Todd chuckled.
“I'll see you in a few minutes.” Todd made his way to the door in order to leave, but paused in the frame, “I really did miss you, Neil.”
Todd then left. Neil moved sluggishly to follow where all of his friends had exited. He needed to find House and Cuddy before they left without him.
He found House quickly, as he was yelling for him in the entry area. Cuddy looked as though she wanted to jump off of a cliff after being stuck next to him.
“Oh, Wilson, thank god.” Cuddy said as Neil came to approach them.
“Did you hook up with any hot theater chicks?” Was the first thing that came out of House's mouth. Neil wanted to slap him most of the time, but that moment made him want to more than ever.
“No, I'm tired, please just take me home without any more weird questions.” He said with an eye roll.
“Fine, fine, but I’m asking you more tomorrow.”
Neil rolled his eyes once again and Cuddy chuckled, “So Wilson, how'd you like the play? Anderson is one of your favorites, right?”
“It was perfect. Todd is an amazing playwright. All of his stuff is great.” Neil said, not a single drop of uncertainty in his words.
“First name basis, eh?” House said with a snicker. He's a dick. Was all that was running through Neil's head.
“You're a dick.” Neil said out loud as they pulled out of the parking lot.
“Well, you both seem to put up with me enough.”
The rest of the car ride was quiet, with the occasional humming along to the music. When they pulled into Neil's driveway, what Neil assumes was Todd's car, was parked in the driveway.
“Who's car is that?” Neil should have assumed House would say something.
“I told someone they could stay with me because they forgot to call a hotel.” Neil explained.
“Oh, so you do have a hookup with a hot theater girl?” Neil swatted at House then made his way out of the car and toward his own home. Todd was still in his car and Neil took the liberty to tap on his window as the other two were pulling out.
Todd quickly glanced upward and fumbled to unlock the door. When Neil heard the car click he quickly opened the door for him and held his hand out as a guide. Todd took his hand while hopping out of his car, but quickly dropped it.
They made their way inside in silence and Todd took his shoes off in the entryway. Neil stared.
Todd looked up and Neil quickly tore his eyes away from the beautiful man in front of him and cleared his throat. “I have a spare bedroom this way.”
Neil kicked off his shoes and led Todd toward the location of the guest room. “It's right here, tell me if you need anything.” Neil shot him a grin and Todd grabbed his arm before he could fully turn away.
“Can we talk, Neil?” Todd looked at him through his eyelashes and with anyone else it could have very easily been interpreted as flirting, but Neil knew it was likely something else. Sadness, maybe. Or nervousness.
“Of course. Have a seat on the couch and I'll grab the wine.” Todd let out a chuckle and took a seat on the couch.
Neil went to grab the wine and got a decently nice bottle. He didn't want Todd thinking he was cheap. He also grabbed two glasses.
When he walked back into the room Todd had removed his tie and unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt so that you could just barely see his chest. He had a blanket covering his legs and his head was all the way tilted backward onto the couch cushion.
Neil took a seat next to Todd and he finally looked back to where the weight on the couch shifted.
“I see you read my poetry.” Neil's gaze suddenly shifted to where one of his drawers was open on the coffee table. He keeps most of Todd's stuff there, and his favorites in his bedside drawer.
“It was the best way to still feel connected to you after I left.” Neil answered the non existent question that was asked.
“What exactly happened?” Todd asked, a sad look residing in his eyes.
“I- do you mean like…”
“Why did you leave? Why did your dad say you committed suicide? Did you dad choose it or you? I have so many questions in general that I would love for you to answer, honestly.” Todd sighed and shoved his head into his hands. “I'm just confused. About so much.”
“I am too Todd, trust me.” Neil looked into those beautiful blue eyes, “What do you know so far? So that I can explain?”
He looked up from his hands. His eyes looked sad and sunken. “The day after the play, your dad told Charlie that… that you committed suicide. Charlie told the others and they all woke me up and told me. I ran out to… to the dock, where we used to run your lines. I cried. I mourned you. You didn't reach out and I didn't stop mourning you. Ever. I still haven't.”
Neil breathed in deeply and let it out. “I attempted, but I clearly didn't succeed. My dad, he sent me to a military camp. He told me that he had told you all that I did something horrible enough that you would never want to speak to me again. I hadn't even considered that he told you all that I had died until today.”
“So your dad lied to us about your death as a way to keep us from contacting you? That's psychotic.” Todd said, his eyebrows knitted together and his hands tensed.
“Yeah I guess it is,” Neil chuckled sadly, his father was always a little uptight, but to go to that extreme kind of surprised him.
“I'm sorry I wasn't able to reach out.” Todd whispered, twisting his hands together once again.
Neil placed his hands on top of Todd's to keep him from further wrangling them. “I'm sorry I didn't reach out even though I was able to.”
“I understand why you didn't.”
“I know.” Todd's blue eyes looked into Neil's own brown ones. All Neil could think was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
“I had a crush on you, you know. Back at Welton.” Todd said suddenly, as Neil was retracting his hands from where they had still been placed on Todd's own.
Neil paused where he was, his hands falling back down onto Todd's. “What?”
“I really liked you in, like, a romantic sense back at Welton. I might even have called it love, honestly.”
“Oh…” Neil didn't know what to say. He probably should have said something about having been in love with him too, but he didn't. He was too dumbfounded.
Todd downed the rest of his second glass of wine, and stood up abruptly. “I'm probably going to go to bed for the night. Goodnight, Neil.”
“Night.” Neil really should have noticed his surroundings more, because he didn't actually realize that was Todd dismissing himself from what had become an awkward situation until he was gone.
Shit. He didn't even get to tell him his own feelings because he had panicked. Dumbass.
Neil downed the rest of his own glass of wine and fumbled while setting it down. It ended up falling on the floor and breaking, but Neil didn't care. He was more focused on telling Todd that he had felt the same. That he currently felt that way.
He knocked on Todd's door and it opened to the man in a fitted t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants. He looked nervous. He also looked very attractive.
Who knew a writer could be so toned?
“What do you need, Neil?” Todd asked, his voice quivered ever so slightly.
“I- uhm… I really liked you--in a romantic sense--too, back at Welton.” Neil paused and then took a step so that he was closer to Todd and inside of his guest room. “I think I might still really like you, honestly.”
Todd took a step closer to Neil. “I think I might still really like you too,” He whispered. Neil could feel Todd's breath on his face. It smelled like wine. If Neil moved even slightly closer they would be close enough that their lips would connect. Should he? Or would that be too much?
Before he could think about it much longer, Todd made the decision for him. He inched forward just enough that their lips brushed, then Neil lost his self control. His lips were fully against Todd's. They both tasted like wine, but Todd tasted like the chocolate he was eating earlier at the theater. Todd's hands found their way to Neil's waist, while Neil's found their way into Todd's hair. Neil gave a small tug and the noise that came out of Todd's mouth was heavenly.
Todd pulled away and slid his hands under Neil's sweater. Todd's cold hands against Neil's warm stomach was shocking, but not unpleasant. Todd bunched the sweater up and pulled it over his head so that Neil's torso was exposed to the chilly room.
Todd tossed the sweater on the floor and moved forward to continue the kiss with Neil. Neil ended up pressed against the door and the cold wood compared to the hot body pressed against him was stark. He wanted nothing more than to move closer to Todd to inherit his warmth, but didn't know how.
“Why isn't your shirt off?” Neil broke away to say. He didn't really have a reason other than he wanted to see Todd shirtless.
“You haven't taken it off yet.”
“...can I?”
Todd said nothing more but moved back far enough that Neil could easier reach his t-shirt. He bunched the fabric up and slowly lifted it over Todd's head. Todd's chest was irresistible. His collarbone was sharp and Neil could see his defined abs. Neil could easily tell that Todd worked out regularly. His V-line was also defined. His arms slightly toned, enough that if he flexed you would see a decent amount of muscle. Neil's eyes went back to Todd's chest he could see that his nipples were hard because of the cold air. He followed the trail of moles that leapt from his chest back up to his face. The moles were more prominent because of how flushed his chest and face were.
“You're beautiful.” Neil said, as it was the only thing he could think of saying.
“Says you.” Todd returned. Neil disagreed. He was more skinny, having no energy to go to the gym because of how demanding his job could be. He's not uncomfortable with his body, he accepted that it was not anywhere near as stunning as Todd Anderson's. But he didn't say this out loud, simply letting Todd believe whatever he wanted.
Neil was brought out of his thoughts with the feeling of something wet on his neck that he quickly recognized as Todd's tongue. Todd brought his lips down and kissed it before softly sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. Neil let out a choked moan and felt his legs give out ever so slightly.
He could feel Todd's smile against his neck, so he moved his hands back to his hair and tugged harder this time. He felt Todd's gasp on his neck and shivered.
“Fuck, Neil.” Todd sucked down on a spot closer to Neil's collarbone and Neil let out a breathy moan. “God, I love the noises you make.”
Neil was growing painfully aroused, so he let out a breath of relief when he felt Todd's hand make his way down to his belt buckle.
They fell back onto the bed and the rest of the night went by in a blur. Neil was pretty sure they remembered to clean up. He hoped so, at least. He didn't want to have to deal with a mess in the morning, but he also didn't want to get up again.
Neil wakes up to Todd still sleeping in his arms. He didn't want to wake him, but he still had to get to work, so he attempted to carefully maneuver himself around the sleeping beauty lying next to him. There was a faint grumble, but other than that, no signs of stirring coming from Todd.
Neil debated on making an elaborate breakfast, but after checking the time and seeing that it was already 7:30, he decided to instead make a simple bacon and scrambled eggs. He made enough for two, on the off chance that Todd would wake up before he left. That was highly implausible, though.
As he went back through the living room to get to his own bedroom, he noticed the still shattered wine glass on the floor, but decided it was a problem for later in the day. His main concern was what House was going to say to him about Todd once he got to work.
Sure enough, the first thing said to him was about the play. Surprisingly enough, it was from Cuddy, not House.
“Hi Wilson, how are you? Hopefully not too hungover from last night.” Cuddy said, setting her own down on the counter and picking up her mug of coffee.
“I'm fine. Only a slight headache.”
“So you and that girl did end up drinking, hopefully not too much?” Cuddy said and before Neil could answer, House came into the room.
“Good luck.” Cuddy stage-whispered before turning around and making a dash out of the room.
“What-”
“You know what I learned last night? A lot.” House rested his cane on the table and took a seat. “Do you want to tell me about it, Wilson, or should I say Neil Perry?”
Neil froze. He didn't know how to react in this situation. Laugh? Cry? Yell? He instead just stayed where he was.
“You've got a whole past we didn't know about. Kind of rude to keep a secret, don't you think?”
“You never asked.” Neil said, unfreezing as he realized it probably wasn't as big of a deal as it once was. His father was dead and all of his friends knew where he was, now.
“I never thought that was something I was going to have to ask about, but here we are.” House shook his head and pulled out a book from his bag. A yearbook. Neil's yearbook.
Neil wasn't surprised when House opened it and flipped through the pages like he had already read through it multiple times. “I really should have gotten to the yearbook before the poetry, but oh well. I can't believe you knew Todd Anderson personally and didn't think to mention it when we went and saw his play.”
“It didn't seem too important at the time,” Neil lied through his teeth.
“Sure it didn’t, who might those be from?” House said, gesturing vaguely to his neck. Neil tapped at his neck, confused until he felt a dull ache from the bruises there and realized he forgot that Todd had access to his neck last night.
Neil didn't say anything, just turned a bit more red in the cheeks.
“I didn't take Todd to be a vampire, but I guess I'm learning many new things tonight.”
Neil choked on air and opened his mouth to question him, but House continued to speak.
“These letters really are sappy. You should keep them hidden.” House said as if he hadn't gone actively searching for them.
“To my dearest,
Todd Anderson,
I'm not quite sure why I've become so enamored by your beauty,” Before House could continue, Neil snatched the letter out of his hands. No one else was supposed to read that, not even Todd.
Neil glanced down at the letter and finished reading, it's just so overwhelming that I can't help but stare. I adore every exchange we have, just so that you know. Even the little ones before bed. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, and somehow you have an even more beautiful heart. I appreciate who you are, no matter what. Someday I hope to tell you this.
Patiently Yours,
Neil Perry.
Neil stared at the letter for minutes while House inspected his nails. “Surely you've finished reading it by now.”
“I was hoping that if I went still enough you would leave.” Neil said, then gently folded the letter back up and placed it into his own bag. Maybe he would give it to Todd when he got home.
“Please, as if that would work.” House paused and stared at Neil for a long moment. “I want to ask you three more questions and then I'll leave you alone for now.”
This felt generous for House, so Neil took it with a grain of salt, “Fine, but I get one opt out.”
House glared, but Neil wouldn't back down. “Fine. I concede. Question One: Why did you do all of this? Why did you change your name and move to become a doctor?”
Neil couldn't believe he was already going to use his opt out, but he had to, considering that his other option was plenty worse. “I'm opting out.”
House looked shocked, “Seriously? I didn't think that question was too bad. Looks like I'll have to do some digging later.”
Neil glared at House while waiting for the second question.
“Question Two: What exactly was the Dead Poets Society? It was referenced many times in your letters and yearbook.”
This was a simple enough question to answer, which Neil was grateful for, “A club. My English teacher was in it when he went to Welton and we decided to start it up again. We read poetry in a cave and that's pretty much it.” Neil left out the part about how it changed his life. It didn't seem too important to the story.
“Okay, lame. Third and final question: did you and Todd Anderson fuck last night?”
“Oh my God, House. Shut the fuck up and ask a normal question.” Neil had turned bright red as the happenings of last night rushed through his head once again. God, his brain needed to stop before he became hard.
“Judging by your reaction I pretty much got my answer, but anyway, Question three: you clearly didn't and quite frankly still don't want to be a doctor. What did you want to do?”
Neil scoffed and shook his head, what a simple question with such a heart wrenching answer, “Act. I wanted to be an actor. I was damn good at it too, but my dad wouldn't let me. He ended up… making me be a doctor.” Neil realized too late that he probably paused too long at the wrong time, but House's questions were up and Neil had Patients to tend to.
“Well this was a fun chat, but I have to go check up on room 204. Goodbye, House.”
“I'm not done talking to you about this!”
Neil decided to not even satisfy him with a response, instead focusing on his patient.
The day dragged on far too slow for Neil's liking. This was likely due to the fact that not once did his mind let him wander from the fact that Todd Anderson was in his home. The love of his life that, up until last night, he hadn't spoken to in twenty years.
Instead of waiting around and talking after his shift, like he would normally do, he instead went straight home. He didn't even pause to say goodbye, simply left.
He hoped Todd hadn't abandoned him since he had been gone, he suspected that he hadn't, but the fear still lingered. His hope was quickly restored when he saw Todd's car still parked outside.
He entered the house and recognized it as clean. Entirely clean. The wine glass was no longer shattered on the floor. The dishes he got out this morning were scrubbed and in the dishwasher. Even his laundry was folded. He inhaled and got the faint smell of chocolate chip cookies wafting from the oven.
The floorboards creaked and Neil turned his head to see Todd in his boxers and the sweater Neil was wearing last night. It seemed old habits die hard. It didn't fit him the same as it once did. He could fill the shoulders in better and it was no longer too long in the arms, but it still suited him well.
“This is identical to the one back at Welton, you know.” Todd said, tugging at the fabric resting on his hips.
“It is the same one from Welton.” Neil couldn't take his eyes off of him. Todd had beautiful eyes. He also had beautiful lips that Neil was very tempted to lunge for at this moment.
“No. Is it actually?” Todd looked down at the green sweater he still adorned and Neil nodded, “This thing is old, then! Why'd you keep it?”
“It reminded me of you. It was the sweater you always took from me.”
Todd looked at him with his soft blue eyes and Neil could no longer contain himself. He lunged forward, held onto Todd's waist with his hands, and kissed him.
Todd tasted like chocolate and cookie batter, which he probably ate raw when baking. Neil didn't care. All he could think of was the man he was holding with his own two hands. The man he thought he would never be able to see again, but was thankfully proven wrong.
Todd's hands went up to hold Neil's jaw and Neil melted. His hands were warm and calloused. When Todd's thumbs swiped at his jaw he squeezed his waist even tighter.
Todd ended up pulling away from Neil's mouth and moving his hands from his jaw to behind his shoulders. They ended up in a slightly awkward embrace, but Neil never wanted to let go.
“I missed you so much. I never stopped thinking about you.” Todd said into Neil's shoulder.
“I bought every single thing you had published. All of it.”
“I'm glad. Most of it was written for you, anyway.” Todd pulled away enough for Neik to look into his eyes and he wanted to dissolve into the floor. He didn't feel like he deserved to see the magnificence that was before him. It felt wrong to stare at something that was more perfect than that of the beauty of the seven wonders of the world with his own two eyes. It was an honor.
The smell of smoke wafted through the room and Todd's eyes got wide as he threw his warm body away from Neil's own.
“Shit. I burnt the cookies.” Todd dashed toward the oven and opened it, grabbing for the pan mindlessly.
“Todd!!”
“Fuck!” Todd leapt away from the oven after burning his hand. Then made the dumb decision to move back toward the tray to get the cookies fully out.
“Damn it Todd, I've got it! Run that under slightly cool water.” Todd begrudgingly moved to the sink and stuck his hand under the water.
Neil took the cookies out, which were blackened at this point, and set them outside on the porch. When he came back inside Todd was still soaking his hand under cold water and Neil decided to put his doctoral skills to use.
“Here. In a few moments we will take that out and put some aloe on it, then wrap it, okay, dear?” Neil took Todd's wrist to study the extent of the burns, “They seem to just be 2nd degree burns. Nothing too bad, you should be fine with a little bit of at-home treatment.” Neil said in his customer service voice, out of habit.
“Well thank you, doctor.” Todd said with a scoff.
“I guess I didn't fully give up on acting, my job as a doctor requires it enough.” Neil chuckled while Todd shook his head with a sad smile.
“It's too bad you gave up on acting, you were so amazing at it.”
“It's not that I gave up, I just didn't have another option.” Neil sighed and gently took Todd's hand out of the water, looking under the sink for where he usually keeps his first aid supplies, including aloe, gauze, and bandages.
“You should do something with a local community theater, I think.” Todd said. Neil found his first aid kit and began rubbing aloe on the burn. Todd would flinch from time to time.
“I still think you would enjoy it, and the theatre where my play was performed at does performances from local theater programs as well as Broadway performances. You should really look into it.”
Neik sighed and gently placed the first piece of gauze in the burned area. “I'll think about it, but it doesn't matter much. You'll go back to wherever you live and I'll end up getting too nervous to pursue theater once again.”
“Well actually. The whole reason I came here initially was to find a place to live, so I likely won't be leaving. Secondly, since I'm moving here, I won't let you get nervous. I have enough nerves for the both of us and if you get more it'll be imbalanced.” Todd joked, but Neil could only focus on one thing.
“You're moving here?”
“Yeah. Meeks and Pitts said it was nice and that there were some apartment buildings that were looking to rent and my lease was up. My play being in theatre at the same time as me being here was kind of an accident.” Todd explained.
“So… I might be able to see you everyday? Not just a few times a year?”
“If you're okay with that, yeah. I would like that.”
“I would love that Todd.” Neil finished wrapping Todd's hand with bandages and wrapped his arms around him once again.
“I don't want you to leave me again.” Todd whispered against Neil's ear.
“I promise I won't. I won't let anyone take me from you again.” Neil whispered back, against the top of Todd's head.