Chapter Text
"Alright my brothers, listen closely... Tonight we make the Trojans pay!" Odysseus began, hyping up his comrades with a good, epic, song, explaining probably for the third time this day the plan
"Oh! Trojan Horse, let's go! What a hype way to start this musical just with this like Roman general hyping up his boys, before they invade Troy" Odysseus tried to ignore the voice in his head, but felt offended to be called a Roman General, so he cursed the voice in his head. "I'm Greek, not a Roman.. And what in the Athena's name is a Musical?" He planned to just reply in his mind, but he muttered it under his nose instead, making his comrades look at him weirdly.
"Captain, what's happening? Are you feeling okay?"A fellow comrade asked. "Gods, again with the 'Captain, what's happening' just punch them already, please." The captain decided to not answer the voice in his head, not wanting to look crazy in front of his comrades "I'm okay, it's nothing, anyway.." Odysseus cleared his throat and went along with his voice lines. "Ten years of war they killed us slowly... But now we'll be the ones who slay! Think of your wives and your children. Your families wonder where you've been!" "Inside a horse apparently. That's gotta be a tough one to explain to your wife." Odysseus began questioning if the 10 years of war are making him insane. But he has better things to do now, so he's ignoring the man in his mind once again.
"They're growing old and yet you're still here..Do what I say and you'll see them again!"
"YES SIR!"
"You're gonna wake up the Trojans if you yell 'Yes sir' so loudly, you fucking idiots." Odysseus had to keep himself from nodding along, he agreed with this statement, but didn't want to look even more mental than he already is. "Diomedes will lead the charge!" "Oh fuck! Get it Diabetes! Hope you pussy got insulin cuz your boy's about to-" "His name is not Diabetes...it's Diomedes." He couldn't help but answer, just hoping his mates aren't gonna question it. "OHH!"
Odysseus continued his speech, like if nothing ever happened. "Agamemnon will flank the guards! Menelaus will let our mates through the gates to take the whole city at large! Teucer will shot any ambush attack and little Ajax will stay back. Nestor, secure Helen and protect her! Neo, avenge your father, kill the brothers of Hector." "YES SIR!"
"Find that inner strength now" "whoo!" "Use that well of pride!" "whoo!" "Fight through every pain now!" "whoo!"
"Ask yourself inside...What do you live for? What do you try for? What do you wish for? What do you fight for?" "That's a lot of questions to ask a bunch of Greek soldiers that only say 'Captain, what's happening' or repeat stuff like a broken record player." "Please shut up-"
Odysseus' mind wandered off to his beautiful wife, Penelope. Like if that would heal the headache he's about to have if the voice in his head doesn't shut up.
"Penelope.." "Oh that was rough" "Penelope..." "Oh my god the passion." "And Telemachus!... I fight for us, I fight for us!" "I fight for more views under my reaction videos but get danpo fanfics instead." "...What now?" By now the soldiers are probably thinking that their captain is mentally unstable.
The Captain decided to just give the attack command the quicker they kill the Trojans, the better.
"Attack!"
The old and other old but younger men got out from the horse, sword in hand. Killing the sleeping and not sleeping trojans, according to Odysseus' strategy.
Odysseus fought off some Troy's soldiers, doing some cool combat shit, like expected from our great warrior of the mind.
Suddenly Odysseus got attacked by someone..."Was that a ghost? Was that Ares? What happened?" It was like Odysseus was hit with a small lighting bolt but the pain existed only for a half a second. "Who was that?.." Odysseus looked around, visibly confused. As the sound of thunder and an eagle passed by. "A VISION, OF WHAT IS TO COME CANNOT BE OUTRUN. CAN ONLY BE DEALT WITH RIGHT HERE AND NOW." "You gotta watch out Zeus thought, dude's constantly striking up terrible deals with mortals." Odysseus once more ignored the voices, he doesn't want a God to think he's insane like his soldiers probably do by now.. "...Tell me how!" "I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY...A MISSION TO KILL SOMEONE'S SON. A FOE WHO WON'T RUN, UNLIKE ANYONE YOU HAD FACED BEFORE." "Deal! I'll do it! Are you kidding me? Murder a baby? easy peasy, dude! I don't even have to ask what the reward is, I know Zeus is good for it." "...What?"
Odysseus entered a room which was mostly empty,with only a crib in the middle of the room. But not only did he saw the infant, there was another person next to the crib, he assumed he's supposed to fight with, he gripped his sword, but before he could attack the person, he was stopped by her voice. "Nuh uh. Anyway, lemme just-" The mysterious woman took out a Sailor Moon like wand, and hit Odysseus with it in the head, no offense of course. It was painful, but who cares he's gonna get way more hurt in the future anyway. After this short interaction the woman disappeared, and in her place a 29 years old man from the modern world appeared, Danny Motta himself.. "That did not happened in EPIC- Wait what the fuck, why am I here?" After Odysseus stopped dying from headache, he opened his eyes and glanced at the weirdly dressed man, which voice he recognizes as the voice in his head.
"Huh?-" "Let me kill the infant, 'dissy! First babies on me." "Wait, what?! Don't kill a baby- I could raise him as my own-" "Zeus knows best, we are gonna kill the kid. But don't stab him! No one wants to see a stabbed baby. But if you push him thought.. Gravity will do the rest!" "Are you telling me to drop an infant to his death?" "Yes." "...Is there really no other way-" "Just give me that-" Danny picked up the baby, got disgusted because it's a baby and they all look weird and are way less cuter than advertised. And walked out with it from the room, heading to the edge of the wall of the Troy's Palace tower or whatever is this place called. "Nothing personal, kid. Just uh following my great God Zeus." "I can't believe I'm letting a voice that was in my head, but now is a 20 something old man, drop a baby of the tower." Odysseus expected Danny to just drop the kid, but no, Danny literally threw the baby down so hard like if the height alone wouldn't kill it. "The trojan war should be over now, right?" "Yes, it's over now.." The Commander felt some sense relaxation, knowing that the war is finally over now, only wanting to get back to his beautiful wife Penelope and his son Telemachus.
Odysseus and Danny ran out some tests. After all having the voice inside your head become a real grown man is not a ordinary occurrence. Which resulted in the finding out the knowledge that Danny has to be at next to the captain at all time or he'll get knocked off by an invisible wall. The max distance he can be away from Odysseus is around 5 meters long. The next thing they found out is that Danny can get hurt, only if Odysseus gets hurt, for example: If Odysseus gets stabbed, Danny feels the pain. This thing seems to only work one way, Danny himself is almost immortal. And the last thing is, Danny is able to be in the quick thought even if Atena didn't invite him, which may be caused by the fact that he has to be next to odysseus 24/7. Athena isn't very pleased with this fact...
The crew, their captain and Danny began sailing the uncharted waters. The crew was suspicious of Danny at first, but soon accepted him, building up some one-sided relationship. The crew thought that Danny is funny and a cool new member of the crew to have, and Danny thought of them as of annoying npcs. He is basically right, but damn, more empathy wouldn't hurt, would it?
Odysseus looked at the horizon, the blue ocean water, the miles of sea to cross. "Six hundred men-" The captain stopped himself, looking at Danny beside him. "Please do not say 'six hundred and one men' this will make the song rhythm sound so bad" Danny told him, before Odysseus could say anything weird, so the Captain continued with his line, like Danny told him to. "Six hundred men under my command, with only one goal in mind." "Make it back alive to our homeland!" "It might seem crazy what I'm about to say-" "...Please just don't say anything, I'm gonna end up being crazy when we arrive at Ithaca, and this time it won't be only pretending-" "Wait, wait, wait, you pretended to be crazy before? Why? Avoiding child support this way?" "...A what? No, nothing like that. I was pretending to be crazy so that I could not go to war." "And I suppose that didn't work out for you, huh?" "...I miss my wife." "You'll see her in ten years, don't worry." "What do you mean ten years-" "Oh, the Eury-uh-something guy is coming, have a nice chat!" Danny said, as he evacuated himself, not planning to explain all those things to him, Dissy is smart, he'll figure it out.
While the captain and his second in command were discussing the food situation, Danny was having a nice chat with Polites, but of course the narrator and writer has no idea what to make them say, so just imagine some stuff. Just not gay(optionally)
Soon Odysseus, Polites and Danny, which is only here only because of the distance limit, went to the island they saw, to hunt for food. Danny was getting worried, now having the knowledge of the future events, he does not want to see Polites die, the others can he doesn't care about them, but Polites should stay alive for the wellbeing of his heart.
Polites, noticing how tense Odysseus and Danny are, he decided to intervene. "You can relax, my friends!" "Huh?" "Noooooo, you're making me remember all those flashbacks with your open arms ideology, please don't die this time-" Odysseus once again questioned what Danny means, first saying he'll see Penelope in ten years, and now something about Polites dying again? "Wait, what do you mean by that?" The captain, didn't know if how he should feel, wondering if Danny is blessed by Apollo with prophetic abilities... "Are you a prophet?" Polites asked the same question "uhh, yes, I am and the sun can fucking blow me- Do not enter the cave." Danny decided to just go along with the prophet image they have of him. "What cave-" Before Captain could ask, a bunch of lotus eaters surrounded them. "WELCOME" Odysseus drew his sword, Polites stopped him. "My friend, greet the world with open arms-" "Let's eat them" "What?!" Both Polites and Odysseus asked at the same time, the winions got scared and stepped back. "Again with the questioning of my ideas, so rude of you."
They did not eat the lotus eaters like Danny wanted them to, instead- because Danny warned them about the cave, they made the winions snatch the food from the scary cave, which were just some fruits, as they aren't able to take any sheeps. I suppose the crew will survive not eating meat for a while.
Good thing is, Polites is well and alive!
Now only to get back to Ithaca and hope nothing bad happens..