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breathing. breathing was important- that was the first step to grounding yourself when caught unaware by the enemy.
after they caught you, there were only seconds to gauge your next move and in order to do that, you had to be hyperaware of your surroundings. ground yourself and breathe.
those ragged, deep breaths coming from her lungs were practically all that she could hear; she was breathing more to prove that she could, rather than to ground herself. to prove to god or whoever that she, she-ra, could do something as simple as breath. unfortunately, she wasn't doing a great job at it.
no, her breaths became more shallow. they were no longer the grounding breaths she needed, but the frightened panting of a child who was abandoned by parents she never knew and swept away into another world without so much as a good bye.
these were the quick breaths of a girl who was trained to fight since she knew how to walk. of a girl who was held to standards higher than those of any of her peers because of where she had come from- a place she didn't even know about. regardless, she was expected to be better behaved, stronger, faster, smarter, better than the rest in any and all facets.
these were the breaths of a young woman expected to be more than she knew she could be. a woman who was scared, shouldering the weight of the world and the legacy of another woman who was given too high of expectations on her back, to fail those that she loved.
she squeezed her eyes shut, finally aware of a sensation beneath her: bedsheets ripping. she looked down in the dark, holding pink bedsheets in her fists that had squeezed just a bit too hard.
sorry bedsheets, it's not your fault that her mind was racing.
she brought her knees to her chest, running a hand through her stringy, blonde hair, still damp from the shower she'd had hours earlier. she thought of cutting it- not a lot, just enough that it wasn't so long. that it wasn't long enough to remind her of the legacy that she was expected to carry on that haunted her ever since she'd defeated horde prime. maybe she'd just trim an inch or two.
then again, maybe she'd just leave it.
she groaned, leaning her forehead against her knees, gripping her hair in her fists. she resisted another urge to just pull it out. problem solved!
no, that was no good either, catra already shed enough for the both of them.
she tried to sit up, to breath, and calm herself down. breaking down like this wouldn't get her anywhere, maybe she'd go for a walk or get some water, maybe take another shower just to cool her worked up nerves-
"adora?"
it felt like someone had snapped her train of thought completely. catra's raspy voice beside her completely wiped any and all thoughts that she was having previously. adora turned towards her wife, who lay beside her curled up as if she were holding onto someone (unfortunately that someone was currently sitting upright in the fetal position spiraling downward).
adora felt her heart soften and gradually, her breathing grew to that of a woman who was grounding herself- not because there was an enemy nearby, but because she was safe. there was plenty of time for her to relax.
"catra," she sighed.
catra reached for adora's hand lazily, giving a small tug, "lay back down, 'm tired."
adora couldn't help but smile, every muscle in her body aching to give in; all she wanted to do was lay down, hold catra and never let her go ever again. she wanted to hear her soft purring as she closed her eyes, to feel catra's tail wrapping around her waist.
but tonight adora's mind wouldn't allow that. no, tonight she was filled with memories that she couldn't quite place- maybe they were mara's? her mind was filled with things that were much bigger than this little life that she'd managed to create, surrounded by her wife and all their friends.
"adoraaa," she whined, oblivious to adora's internal struggle. "c'mon, 'm cold.."
adora let catra pull her back down and she immediately wrapped her arms and legs (and tail) around her, clinging onto her.
adora smiled, sighing softly.
"you okay?"
adora glanced over to her wife again, two bright blue and yellow eyes staring back at her. it made her heart skip.
"yeah, just bad dreams."
catra frowned, her brows furrowing, and held adora the slightest bit closer. her expression let adora know that even if she couldn't take these dreams away from her, she would work through these painful emotions with her, right by her side.
"i have an idea," catra piped up, giving adora one last squeeze before sitting up and stretching. adora couldn't help but chuckle at catra's routine, earning her a lighthearted glare. catra stood up on the bed, holding her hands out for adora to take them. the blond reached up, letting catra pull her to her feet and lead her off the bed.
she pulled adora to the glass doors in their room, leading her to the balcony. she let go of adora's hand and pounced atop the railing, a bit wobbly at first, just about giving adora a heart attack, but finding her footing.
adora leaned against the railing beside her, the cool, night air blowing through her hair. catra seemed to be taking it in as well, her hair having grown substantially since they'd started living in brightmoon together.
after the wind stilled, she spoke.
"i know it's not the same, but i figured- balcony, y'know? it's- agh, i'm horrible at explaining this- sorry i-"
adora leaned her head against catra's arm beside her, "go on."
catra frowned, upset at how she was fumbling her words, took a deep breath, and continued.
"back in the fright zone, you know, whenever we hung out we would always go to the balconies to look over the city. joking about conquering it one day... or just talking about memories... whatever." she took a shaky breath. "and i thought, maybe, since you have this little balcony here, we can do the same thing. it's no fright zone, but, i mean- we can look out and talk and... whatever... right?"
adora closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as the breeze blew through her hair again. she smiled, a real honest smile, and stood back, meeting catra's eyes.
"thank you, catra. this, it- it means a lot to me. i don't think i would've even made that connection without your help," she said sheepishly. catra jumped off the railing, grabbing adora's hands and squeezing them.
"we can come out here whenever you'd like- or just you can come out here alone, y'know. whatever you need."
"i need you right by my side."
catra blushed bright red, her tail swaying behind her.
"since when are you so bold?"
adora snorted, "since always, i'm pretty sure."
catra laughed along with her. "whatever, idiot."
adora felt a familiar sense of adoration well up within her at the sound of catra's high-pitched laughter. after such a sweet gesture, after helping adora calm down after the nightmare to end all nightmares, it all came down to catra.
adora pressed her head against catra's, murmuring an "i love you."
"i love you, too."
catra pressed a chaste kiss to her wife's lips, soft and sweet.
"now c'mon, i'm starting to get chilly out here," she pressed one last kiss to adora's cheek and began to lead them back inside, complaining quietly.
adora snorted again, following her wife back to bed with a newfound warmth in her heart. nightmare forgotten.