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How long has it been now? Weeks? An entire month? More?
"Shh." Shinobu leans into Mitsuri's ear. "They'll hear you."
Mitsuri whines, but nods fervently with her eyes squeezed shut and her bottom lip between her teeth. Moonlight filters through the slim opening - just enough to cool the room down, but not enough for someone to see into without trying too hard.
Shinobu can't help but glance towards the entrance as her right hand slides under Mitsuri's skirt. Mitsuri squirms, her muscular thighs clamping around Shinobu's hand. Mitsuri throws her arms around Shinobu's neck, lifting her back from the ground as she clutches Shinobu's haori. Mitsuri's strong hold pulls Shinobu into her chest, her propped elbow buckling slightly. "Mmm…Shinobu…pretty please?" Her voice is needy. Honeyed.Her nails sharp, even through the fabric.
With that, Shinobu finally manages to tear her own gaze away from the glimpse outside. She can't decide who she thinks would be the worst person to walk in anyways. "You're clinging too tight," Shinobu mutters, nibbling Mitsuri's earlobe. "I can't move very well like this." Then Shinobu's face twitches, her brow furrowing and her jaw tightening. Ah, yes. She does know who would be the worst person to walk in on her right now. Obanai.
"Sorry…" Mitsuri's hold lessens as she nuzzles into Shinobu's neck. "I was so excited to see you today that I finished my mission as quickly as I could. And I ate dinner so fast I don't even feel full."
Shinobu can't help but smile at Mitsuri. She rests her hand on top of Mitsuri's thigh, slowly caressing the soft, supple skin. "Eating too fast might cause your stomach to hurt." Shinobu's left hand comes up to cup Mitsuri's cheek, drawing her thumb up and down. "Take your time." Shinobu leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to Mitsuri's lips. "We don't need to rush."
Mitsuri's arms flex around Shinobu once more as Mitsuri crashes their mouths together again, capturing Shinobu's lips. They break for fractions of seconds before coming back more passionately each time. Hungrier.Their hot breaths mix into a chorus of disjointed, heavy pants, a silent room only to the untrained ear. Mitsuri's lips are soft. Full. Perfect. Each time Shinobu feels them, a tingle shoots down her body. Curls into a knot in her stomach. When they first began their "meetings", Mitsuri was inexperienced. Clumsy. But now, Shinobu can hardly keep her wits about her as Mitsuri moans into her mouth, her tongue pushing past her lips.
Shinobu begins to shift her body above Mitsuri, slotting herself between Mitsuri's partially raised knees. As she does so, Shinobu twists her arm between them, her knuckles brushing against Mitsuri's hot undergarments. Mitsuri groans, breaking the kiss momentarily. "You're so good at this, Shinobu." Mitsuri's hushed but pained voice gives Shinobu chills. Mitsuri is soaking. "You're such a great teacher."
Teacher.
Shinobu almost pauses, but Mitsuri's tongue meets hers, pushing and pulling like a tide. And then Shinobu feels Mitsuri's calves hook over hers, Mitsuri beginning to grind herself against Shinobu's hand.
Suddenly, Shinobu doesn't know whether to feel angry or ashamed.
Shinobu pulls away from the kiss, her chest heaving as she catches her breath. Again, she finds her gaze flashing towards the entrance. Maybe she feels both. She's furious. And she's guilty.
Yet the corner of her lips gently curl up as she looks back at Mitsuri's flushed face, strands of pink hair clinging to her glistening skin. Her voluptuous chest rapidly rising and falling as she tries to catch her breath. "And you're a fast learner, Kanroji."
***
"Gahhhh!!!!! He's so handsome!" Mitsuri squeals with her hands to her face. "And he's so caring!"
Shinobu can't help but chuckle, her fists resting on her thighs as she sits in front of Mitsuri. Mitsuri had sounded quite serious earlier when she said she needed to talk, so it's a relief to see it's nothing serious. "Oh dear. It sounds like you admire Obanai quite a bit."
Mitsuri then hugs herself, a dreamy sigh escaping. "I want to marry him." Her eyes lights up, a blush across her cheeks. "He's perfect, don't you think?"
"His personality might be a bit harsh, but he's very emotional, isn't he?"
"He's the sweetest! And so cool! And he gave me his extra pork bun today." Mitsuri sways back and forth, eyes closed as if she's imagining she's in Iguro's embrace. "Ahhhhh, what do I do, Shinobu?"
"Hmmm…" Shinobu, tilts her head in brief thought. She watches the leaves sway gently outside, a plump bird perched atop a low branch. "It sounds like Obanai feels a similar way. Wouldn't the best option be to share your feelings with him?"
"But I can't!" Mitsuri lurches forward, snatching Shinobu's hands. "What if I'm not good enough?"
Shinobu laughs softly. "I wouldn't worry too much. Obanai seems to be very fond of you. If he rejects you, it's likely only because he's nervous."
Mitsuri shakes her head. "No, I mean…" Her ears nearly turn as pink as her hair, as she averts her gaze from Shinobo's, though still clings to her hand. "I've never had sex before. I've never even kissed someone before."
"That's what you're worried about?" Shinobu smiles gently, attempting to lean into Mitsuri's line of sight. "I think your fears are understandable, but Obanai won't judge you for that. I'm sure he'll have the same thoughts, if and when it comes to that matter."
Mitsuri's hold tightens as she turns back to face Shinobu, a determined fire shimmering in her eyes. "Teach me!"
Shinobu sits back. First stunned. Then she laughs. "That surprised me."
"I mean it! Please? You're so knowledge and kind and composed and mature!" Mitsuri closes the distance, her face nearly touching Shinobu's, a wild look on her face.
Shinobu stifles her growing shock, her composure slowly beginning to wave. "Kanroji, I appreciate how closely you trust me, but being intimate with me won't be the same as being intimate with Obanai. I'm sure there are some books or something-"
"Then how about just a kiss?" Mitsuri's eyes gleam. Pleading. Boring into the typically emotionless gaze of Shinobu.
There are a few problems that Shinobu sees with this. The first is that Obanai is the most jealous human to ever exist - all the Hashira have seen how he glowers from afar at anyone even just simply waving to Mitsuri. The second is that Shinobu has actually never even had sex. Not that that is what she's very concerned about. It seems very intuitive. But Shinobu's never felt drawn to the idea. Romance is one of the last things on her mind.
Well, if that's all she's worried about, is there any real harm in it?
Shinobu sighs. "Just a kiss?"
***
It had started with one kiss. And then another. And another. Then they'd spent hours making out in the Butterfly Mansion, slowly letting their hands explore and grope and pet and grab. Until it had become far more than "just a kiss". And with it, so had Shinobu's feelings. She had gone from being entirely indifferent to being utterly infatuated with Mitsuri.
"I can't wait anymore," Mitsuri whines into Shinobu's sweaty neck, planting sloppy kisses there. Breathing her in. "Please."
"You shouldn't be so impatient," Shinobu scolds, but her actions betray her as her fingers curl against Mitsuri's wetness. She begins stroking her up and down, her nails dragging along the dripping fabric. Mitsuri's thighs clench, trapping Shinobu in her legs. Shinobu continues teasing with her fingers, pressing her nails harder each time she passes over Mitsuri's stiffened clit. Mitsuri's strained moans begin. Whimpers escaping like gasps for air. Up and down. Up and down. Mitsuri's back arches as she tries to move against Shinobu's fingers, begging for more friction.
They're far past the point of pretending to have teaching lessons - they both know it, so why do they continue going on like they're not interested? Like it's for something else still? Now, they're doing this to satisfy their own lust.
But still, there's that anger Shinobu feels as she thinks about Obanai. As she thinks about how he watches Mitsuri. And she thinks about how Mitsuri has barely said a word about how she feels about Obanai since it all started. Will she grow tired of this and confess to him? When will it end?
Shinobu begins drawing tight circles with a finger, matching Mitsuri's frantic humping. She bends down, placing kisses over Mitsuri's exposed chest popping through her uniform. "It feels so good," Mitsuri hums into Shionbu's skin, sinking her teeth in momentarily. Shinobu wants to return the bite in kind, but there's no inconspicuous way for Mitsuri to hide any mark she gets on her chest. So Shinobu settles for littering soft nips wherever she can.
It's the anger that makes Shinobu feel guilty. A double-edged sword, of sorts. She's jealous over something she isn't supposed to be jealous over. And worse yet, she won't even let anyone know that she's jealous. Of course she'll stay by Mitsuri's side as a loyal and trustworthy companion. And she'll buy them a wedding gift. Congratulate them.
All with a smile.
But then there's even another side to it all. What if Mitsuri feels the same? And if that's true, why does that manage to make Shinobu feel even worse?
Why does it make her so afraid? Is it because being angry is easier than loving someone? Than accepting someone's love? Or is it because Shinobu herself struggles to truly understand the concept of love?
When Shinobu finally slips her fingers inside Mitsuri's undergarments and down her slick folds, she smirks lightly. "Oh my. It seems you really were thinking about me all day."
But the result of Shinobu's teasing sees their positions flipped, as Mitsuri pulls Shinobu to the ground with a heavy thump before forcibly getting on top of her. "Of course I was," Mitsuri says, pushing her thigh in between Shinobu's legs while her hand grips Shinobu's wrist, holding her under her skirt. "You're just too cute."
Shinobu wants to refute. Mitsuri is the one who is too cute. Even more so with her disheveled hair. Her voice breaking as she continues to catch her breath. Rosy cheeks. An innocent smile that never harbors any ill will.
Mitsuri bends down to tenderly kiss Shinobu, once again making a point to rub her bare thigh against Shinobu. While it feels incredible, Shinobu finds herself beginning to pull her hands back. "You'll dirty my uniform. Let me at least take it off."
But Mitsuri holds Shinobu there, an oddly bashful look falling over her face as she brings her hands together. "But it's kind of sexy when we're in our clothes…" Then she quickly kisses Shinobu again, her hands immediately moving to trail over Shinobu's breasts. "I'll wash it for you. Don't worry." And then she begins kissing along Shinobu's jawline. Down to her neck. She moves her hips, sliding herself against Shinobu's caught fingers.
It's hard to say no to Mitsuri. It always has been. So, Shinobu gives in with a lofty huff, leaning into Mitsuri's kisses. Aoi will likely question why she isn't throwing her dirty uniform in with the others. Hah. Oh well. Shinobu will simply be honest about Mitsuri offering to clean it. There's nothing wrong with omitting unnecessary information.
Shinobu begins working her fingers against Mitsuri again, feeling her own heat pool around Mitsuri's muscular leg as she slowly moves her hips. Shinobu finally glides her palm along Mitsuri's wetness as she easily slips two fingers inside of Mitsuri, who immediately tenses with a drawn out groan. Mitsuri practically falls onto Shinobu, pinning Shinobu's arm in between their gyrating bodies.
Shinobu can feel the firmness of Mitsuri's body. She's soft and supple, yet toned and taut. What a waste that so many men have made her feel so ashamed of her strength. Well, really all of it is beginning to feel like a waste. What does any of it matter if she chooses to be with Obanai? Even if Mitsuri feels the same way as Shinobu, why would she choose a woman over a man? All Mitsuri has ever done is talk about boys. Talk about being married to one. Talk about one falling in love with her.
Mitsuri rides Shinobu's fingers, her stifled moans growing needier in Shinobu's ear.
Shinobu pumps her fingers in and out.
An owl coos from outside. The crickets chirp.
In and out. Curling with each thrust.
It's hard to tell which one of them is making the most noise. Their pants mingle, becoming one desperate string of a desire for more pleasure. Shinobu continues moving herself against Mitsuri's thigh, while Mitsuri arms on either side of Shinobu's head begin to tremble.
The desperate string of broken breath becomes higher. Needier.
Shinobu's free hand travels along Mitsuri's back and then lower, gripping and pulling Mitsuri even closer.
"I think I'm falling in love."
While Shinobu hears the words gasped beside her, she can hardly register them. Her body is burning. It feels as though Mitsuri is melting onto her. Like they're melting together into one incoherent pile of limbs and cries. The pressure in Shinobu's abdomen builds and builds and builds. Every part of her body is slick with sweat, and yet the hairs stand on her arms with excitement and electricity. And it keeps building until Shinobu feels like she's going to burst, and Mitsuri tightens around Shinobu, her pace quickening and her face buried in Shinobu's chest.
Shinobu comes as she feels Mitsuri's body quiver and shake. As Mitsuri silences her own euphoric outburst by catching Shinobu's uniform in her mouth.
And then there is stillness.
Nothing but the crickets. The owl. A silhouette of a tree branch on the back wall cast by the moonlight. Exhausted huffs.
"What do I do?" It's Mitsuri who speaks first, her voice muffled from her hidden face.
But Shinobu doesn't speak. She knows exactly what Mitsuri is asking about. Now that her head is clear, Mitsuri's whispered words before her climax ring in Shinobu's ears. Shinobu feels too scared to move. To respond.
Of course, there's one dominant thought racing in Shinobu's head, which is to tell Mitsuri to forget about Obanai. Why bother with him at this point? After all, Shinobu is also falling in love.
But, there's a deep rooted fear that comes alongside that. Can Mitsuri actually see herself with a woman? Is there a forever? They can't be the traditional dreamy couple that Mitsuri has imagined her entire life. Not to mention Obanai's already aggressive distrust of women would only deepen, likely creating some sort of rift in the Hashira. Not that emotional affairs matter so long as everyone can work together for the greater good, but…still.
Isn't the easier option to push Mitsuri back towards Obanai for good? Even if it hurts the most right now?
Perhaps Hinatsuru could offer some advice? Suma or Makio? All three at the same time, maybe?
Shinobu knows that Mitsuri would never purposefully hurt her. Mitsuri wears her heart on her sleeve. She loves deeply. Openly. If Mitsuri happened to regret choosing Shinobu, would she even admit it? Or would she hide it for forever? Secretly wishing she'd followed her first love and gone with Obanai?
There are just too many things to consider. At this moment, Shinobu doesn't trust herself to make any sort of rational decision. She needs to think it over with a clear mind. Her increasingly anxious barrage of thoughts aren't helping anything. It's better to diffuse the situation for the time being. Hope that it can rest for another few days.
"I thought I really liked him. I was sure of it. But now, it's like… like you're the only one I can think about."
Shinobu tries to sit up, urging Mitsuri to do the same. She doesn't really want to have this conversation right now. She feels too fearful. Stressed. Wrongfully mistrusting of Mitsuri. "Maybe we should take a break from this, Kanroji? It might be good to take a step back and-"
" Why ?" Mitsuri throws her arms around Shinobu, clinging to her. "Why do you act so indifferent all the time?" The sudden sharp sniffle from Mitsuri causes Shinobu to freeze.
it feels like Shinobu is standing at a crossroad. She could accept Mitsuri, and accept what is likely fleeting bliss and satiate her desire to understand her own feelings towards love and Mitsuri in particular. Or, Shinobu could steer Mitsuri away, potentially protecting the both of them from something that might bring more harm than good. Despite Mitsuri's confession lending a sense of elation to Shinobu, it's mildly suffocating.
Now she has to make a choice.
"I'm not being indifferent. I just think that you could be confused." Shinobu does her best to keep a calm demeanor. An understanding, yet firm attitude as she tries to pry Mitsuri off of her. "When the body reaches a climax, it also releases dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. All of those things cloud judgement, no matter how good it feels. Sometimes, people say things they don't mean. Or, feel things they wouldn't typically feel. It's entirely possible that what you're feeling towards me is just a result…" When Shinobu manages to get Mitsuri at arm's length, her hands firmly pressed to Mitsuri's shoulders, her stomach sinks. "...of that."
Shinobu can see the glistening tears welling in Mitsuri's eyes. Shinobu just wanted to protect herself and yet, she managed to be the one doing damage.
It's easier to want something when it's unattainable. Easier to be angry.
At this point, that's all that's familiar to Shinobu.
Is she even allowed to indulge in a fairy tale before avenging her sister?
Mitsuri's gaze falls. "Is it because I'm not pretty enough? Or because I'm too strong?" Mitsuri curls into herself, her body trembling as she begins furiously wiping at the tears beginning to spill out of her eyes. "O-or is it because I fall in love too easily? I really really love you! I mean it! You're so nice and pretty and smart and-!" Her words cut off into a series of sobs.
Now Shinobu just feels cruel.
It was never supposed to get this far. None of it.
***
The gentle sound of their lips parting is nearly overshadowed by the sound of Shinobu's heart. She almost can't believe it. Mitsuri's sweet scent lingers in her nose. The sensation of her lips stays like a ghost.
How strange, Shinobu thinks. For the first time in a long time, she feels something other than anger. It's softer. Kinder. Warmer. For a moment, Shinobu feels entranced. She opens her eyes first, watching as Mitsuri's flutter open, her pastel irises glistening in the light.
"You're so cool, Shinobu!!" Mitsuri nearly chokes Shinobu as she rushes into a hug, her arms flung around Shinobu's body. "And you're such a good kisser! Ahhh, I seriously can't get you off my mind!"
As Mitsuri rubs her face into Shinobu, Shinobu can't help but lightly laugh, patting Mitsuri on the back. "Alright, well, let's not get too distracted, hm? You're heading out with Uzui tomorrow, aren't you? You should have a clear head."
Mitsuri makes a muffled sound of disgruntlement, bunching Shinobu's haori in her fists before letting an open palm wander down Shinobu's spine. "So, what comes next?" Mitsuri takes a deep breath, her nose buried in the crook of Shinobu's neck. And then she presses a kiss under Shinobu's jaw, just above the collar of her uniform.
Suddenly, the entire atmosphere has shifted. There's a new pit in Shinobu's stomach. A new heat swelling.
"Kanroji, I think it's better if we-"
In a flash, Mitsuri pushes Shinobu down, nearly knocking the wind out of Shinobu.
"Ah! I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?! I didn't mean to do it so suddenly! Or so forcefully!" Mitsuri hovers over Shinobu, her hands waving apologetically in front of her chest. "I just, um, really wanted to try something and… Gah! I don't know!" Mitsuri immediately hides her blushing face behind her hands. "Sorry!"
Shinobu props herself up on one elbow, rubbing the back of her head with a hand. "It's really alright, Kanroji." Despite the adorable nature of Mitsuri's clumsy move, Shinobu can't help but feel hyper aware of Mitsuri's strong thighs on either side of her. Well, that and also the undeniable warmth in between Mitsuri's legs that is now pressed Shinobu's abdomen. Shinobu didn't think it would ever come to this. "This" being sex. Is that what Mitsuri wants? Is it what they both want? "You don't need to hide. Really, everything's okay."
Mitsuri peeks through her fingers, earning a smile from Shinobu. "Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad?"
"Because…" Mitsuri closes her fingers again, effectively hiding her eyes. She takes a deep breath. "Because…" The anticipation causes Shinobu to cock her head to the side with furrowed brows of curiosity. "Because I want to have sex with you!"
Mitsuri's declaration is far too loud, but the fervent passion of it paired with Mitsuri's hidden face causes Shinobu to snort, before quickly stifling the ensuing laugh behind a hand.
Mitsuri's hands slowly fall, her eyes peering out just above her fingers. "Is that weird?"
Just how can Shinobu refuse her? Shinobu can't deny that she's also curious. However, she also knows that things can get complicated quite quickly. But her body certainly wants it more than anything right now.
They've already been kissing in secret for days now. Is there too much harm in having sex?
But, Shinobu can't help but wonder, at what point does this all go past "practice"? Calling sex practice just sounds like a lazy excuse.
Which then makes Shinobu wonder even furhter, is this really all for the sake of Obanai?
"I don't think it's weird," Shinobu says carefully. "I agreed to help you, didn't I?" Shinobu doesn't even know what she's saying. "So, one time won't hurt, right?"
**
No, Kanae's death isn't a punishment. It's a reminder of this world. Of the pain brought by Muzan and demonkind. A reminder that no single life is guaranteed to live. As Hashira, they are sworn to fight till the very end. Even if it means giving their own life.
Tomorrow, they could all be dead.
What good will having another regret in the afterlife be?
"Everything about you amazes me, Kanroji," Shinobu finally says, gently moving a hand to stroke Mitsuri's cheek, urging her to stop hiding her face. "You love fearlessly and never let anything keep you down. Perhaps unlike the rest of us Hashira, you've somehow managed to retain your purity. And unlike me, your smile is real. I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever met."
Mitsuri's sobs become softer. "...really?"
"Mhm." Shinobu rests her forehead against Mitsuri's lowered head, sensing that she's not going to unveil her face anytime soon. Shinobu lets her eyes close. "I'm sorry for hurting you. That wasn't my intention. I was just scared. I still am. I've never understood this type of love before. I loved my sister. And I love Kanao, but this… this is something I'm very unfamiliar with." Shinobu lets out a soft breath. "While it might not seem it, I'm not a very honest person. I don't live like you do. I keep my true feelings close to my chest. Because it's for the sake of Kanae. Kanao. All of you. In my mind, I dream of burning everything to the ground. Forgetting about Muzan and focusing only on making Doma pay for everything that he's done."
Shinobu clenches her jaw and drops her hand from Mitsuri's face before letting her fingers curl into a fist, her nails digging into her own palm. She leans back. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about Obanai. I've laid awake, preparing myself for the day you choose him. Or, for the day that I'm not enough for you…" Shinobu takes a steadying breath and lets her eyes open. "This whole time I've wished for you to choose me, and now that you have, I find myself unable to be honest." Shinobu scooches back enough to give her room to bow deeply in front of Mitsuri, her forehead and palms to the ground. "Please forgive me."
And there it is. Shinobu has laid herself bare. She doesn't know if she can explicitly say the phrase "i love you" yet. She thinks she does in fact love Mitsuri, but she's still learning how to be intimate with someone. Learning how to be honest and open. Now, all she can do is hope that her feelings have gotten across to Mitsuri.
For too long of a moment, there is only the sound of chirping insects and a hooting owl.
The room is still.
Then there's a sniffle from Mitsuri. "Will you…call me by my first name?"
Shinobu lifts her head.
Mitsuri's face is flushed. Wet. Her eyes are swollen. Her bottom lip quivers.
But the way the moonlight hits Mitsuri's back makes it look as though she has a glowing aura.
"Mitsuri."