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When it comes to his heats, Eddie has a ritual.
For three quarters of the year, he takes heat suppressants to block them. No matter how good of a liar he is, people would figure out the truth pretty quickly if Eddie was taking a full week off every three months.
But once a year, Eddie forces himself to use his sick leave and fully experience a heat. It serves as a reminder that he’ll never be the beta everyone else believes him to be, and he’ll certainly never be the alpha his parents prayed for.
Shannon is the only person he ever spent a heat with, back when he was young and stupid. Even though he was an omega and she was a beta, somehow Shannon was the one who discovered she was pregnant weeks later. Neither of them had even realized that was a possibility, and it had sent Eddie spiraling.
He vividly remembered shutting himself in his room after Shannon told him the news, his gut churning with dread along with a sliver of hope that he had somehow defied his designation. As far as he knew, only alphas or betas could get someone else pregnant. Maybe there had been some mistake. Maybe he wasn’t really an omega, or maybe he had somehow become something else through sheer force of will.
But his next physical confirmed what he already knew - Eddie is an omega. He’s just not a very good one.
It’s a truth that he’s reminded of again and again as he fights his way through life. He struggles to bond with Chris, and maybe it’s because his body didn’t spend nine months growing him, or maybe it’s because Eddie can’t stop leaving, but his whole soul aches with the wrongness of it. Omegas are built to love and nurture their young, and he wants so badly to wrap his arms around his son and be the thing that keeps him warm and safe. But he hears his father’s voice in his mind, telling Eddie that it doesn’t matter what else he is. He’s a man, and he needs to be strong and provide and never let anyone see him cry. He hears his mother whispering to him in the dark about the ways Eddie can hide who he is from the world.
Eddie finds his way eventually, carving out a life where he can make sure Chris is safe and loved, whatever the cost. But it costs so much, and then Shannon is gone and he loses the one person who knew the whole truth about him and didn’t immediately turn away. She still didn’t want him in the end, and it’s hard to blame her for that.
Even when he moves to L.A., determined to live his own life, Eddie still lets his childhood memories and the voices of his parents control the things he’s too scared to face head on. Telling the truth carries too much risk.
So he takes suppressants and grits his teeth as he buys the expensive scent blockers, and he lies to everyone about who Eddie Diaz really is.
Everything changes the day Eddie joins the 118.
More specifically, everything Eddie thought to be true about himself gets turned on its head when he meets Evan Buckley.
He clocks Buck as an alpha immediately, the way he’s strutting around and marking his territory whenever Eddie gets within ten feet of him. At first, it scares him. Is Buck peacocking around because he somehow scented Eddie through his blockers? God knows that Eddie noticed Buck’s scent right away, sweet and slightly smoky like spun sugar. But then he realizes that Buck thinks Eddie is also an alpha, and that leaves Eddie feeling off balance.
Because the thing is, Eddie has never felt that magnetic, biological pull toward an alpha the way he knows omegas are meant to. He’s always chalked it up to just another way he was born wrong. But this itch under his skin when he scents Buck, the one that has him running to his locker to double up on his suppressants so it doesn’t trigger a heat, this must be what he’s meant to feel. And even if he’s never going to act on the impulse, it’s… nice, knowing that he’s capable of being attracted to an alpha.
But then Buck makes an offhanded comment a few weeks later about taking his heat leave, and Eddie stops breathing. Buck can’t be an omega… he can’t . Because Eddie is still constantly aware of Buck’s scent, constantly fighting the urge to lean in closer for more . And if Buck is an omega, the pull Eddie feels toward him isn’t just wrong. It’s sinful.
Eddie doesn’t go to church anymore, and he’s not sure exactly what he believes, but there are some childhood experiences that never leave you. He remembers sitting on that hard pew during Mass with sweaty hands tucked under his thighs, staring up at the priest as he expounded on God’s biological design for alphas and omegas. He explained that the ultimate purpose of an alpha was to find an omega, lay claim to them, and mate with them for life. An alpha or omega could be forgiven for entering into a relationship with a beta, but it was an abomination for an alpha to mate with an alpha or an omega to mate with an omega. Not only was it sinful, but it was an impossibility. Anyone who defied God’s design in such a blatant way would face his wrath.
And although Eddie knows now that it’s not impossible - that there are partnered omegas who exist and seem to be happy - shame still rises in his throat every time he allows himself to acknowledge the way Buck makes him feel.
So he stops acknowledging it. He pushes those impulses deep, deep down, and everything is fine. Buck becomes his best friend, and everything is fine. Buck worries about Eddie every time he lies about his yearly heat leave, and he loves Christopher like he’s his own, and he always has Eddie’s back in a way no one else ever has, and everything is fine.
Eddie tries so hard to do the right thing, but he always falls short. He works through some of his issues in therapy, even if there are still some truths that feel too dangerous to speak out loud. He dates Ana and Marisol, both betas, because he’s afraid an alpha would discover his secret. He tries to hide the way his skin crawls when Buck finds alphas to spend his heat with. He keeps lying about who he is to everyone at the 118, even when he knows none of them would judge him if they knew the truth.
And then Kim, and Eddie’s parents, and Texas, and his world falls apart so spectacularly that it forces him to reevaluate everything. So many years of lies and repression and denying himself joy couldn’t stop the worst from happening. Maybe it’s time he tried something new.
But amidst the chaos of fixing things with Chris, moving back to L.A., and figuring out how to sell his house in Texas, Eddie loses track of time.
Which is how he ends up here, sitting on his couch and listening to Buck rant about his latest subpar apartment tour. As he focuses on the heat of Buck’s thigh pressed against his, four realizations hit Eddie all at once:
- Eddie is in love with his best friend
- He doesn’t want Buck to move out.
- His heat is coming soon.
- He needs to tell Buck the truth.
Eddie stands by the kitchen counter, hands gripping the edge so he doesn’t have to see them shaking. He hears Buck coming in, his feet scuffing across the welcome mat as he drops his bag to the floor. Buck is probably exhausted and deserving of a long nap, but Eddie thinks he might explode if he doesn’t have this conversation right now.
“Hey, Buck,” Eddie calls out, working hard to keep his voice steady. “How was the end of your shift?”
Buck shuffles into the kitchen, running his fingers through his curls as he yanks open the fridge. “Mercifully boring.”
Eddie looks away and closes his eyes, fighting the urge to step closer and bury his face between Buck’s shoulder blades. All of those long-repressed, Buck-related feelings have been storming back with a vengeance now that they’re living together. It doesn’t help that Buck’s scent is everywhere , and that Buck is just constantly there , looking rumpled and soft and adorable in the hoodies and cardigans he seems to prefer now.
It’s also why he’s put this conversation off for so long. He’s dreading Buck’s reaction to finding out his best friend’s been lying to him since the day they met. What if Buck actually moves out and Eddie never gets to see him like this again? What is he supposed to do with all this love if Buck doesn’t want it?
When he finally opens his eyes, Buck has closed the fridge door and is watching him with a concerned expression on his face. “Are you all right, man?”
“I need to tell you something,” Eddie blurts out. “But I’m pretty sure you’re going to hate me when you hear it.”
Buck laughs. “Come on, Eddie. Whatever it is, I promise I’ll only hate you for, like, an hour, tops.” When Eddie doesn’t shoot back a joke of his own, Buck’s face falls. “Did something happen?”
Eddie shakes his head. All he wants to do is hide, but he forces himself to keep his eyes fixed on Buck. “I don’t want you to move out.”
“Oh.” Buck’s eyes widen. “I thought you would be happy to have your own house back. But… why would that make me hate you?”
“That’s not what I need to tell you.” Eddie pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, chewing at it nervously. “I just wanted you to know that I don’t want you to move out.”
“Okay.” Buck takes a few slow steps toward him, moving like Eddie is a dog he might accidentally scare off. It forces Eddie to tilt his chin up slightly to meet Buck’s gaze, and that makes Eddie’s breath hitch in his throat. This close, Buck’s smoky sweet scent fills his nostrils. He might not make it through this.
“I don’t want you to move out,” Eddie repeats. “But you might need to find somewhere else to stay for a few days.”
“Okay?” Buck draws out the word, his brow furrowing.
Eddie swallows and braces himself. “My heat is coming in a few days.”
Buck stares at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly. “Your… what?”
“My heat.” Eddie’s voice is barely more than a whisper.
“Wait. You’re…?” Buck presses his hands against his eyes. “ Eddie. ”
The sound of Buck practically whining his name tugs at Eddie’s gut. It feels like they’re standing in a temporary limbo between Buck not knowing and Buck fully understanding and reacting, and Eddie wishes he could live here. He barrels ahead anyway, afraid he’ll lose his nerve if he stays quiet for too long.
“I’m an omega,” Eddie confirms. “I could tell you all the reasons I kept it a secret, but I don’t know if any of them really matter.”
Buck turns to lean back against the counter, but he doesn’t move away. His chest heaves as he stares up at the ceiling, and Eddie tries to avoid thinking about the strong lines of Buck’s neck.
“Was Chris… did you…?”
It takes a moment for Buck’s half-formed question to register. “No, Shannon carried him. It was a one-in-a-million chance, apparently.”
“But you never take heat leave,” Buck says, sounding stunned.
“I take suppressants, so I only have one heat a year,” Eddie replies. “And then I just use regular sick leave or vacation time.”
Still breathing heavily, Buck hunches over and bends his head toward the floor. Eddie is desperate to reach out and touch him, but he can’t handle even the possibility of Buck shrugging him off.
“I understand if this changes things.” Eddie’s whole body feels heavy. “And if you want to move out, I get it.”
“Eddie, I…” His voice sounds choked. “Are you sure?”
That pushes Eddie off balance. “Sure? Sure about what, that I’m an omega? Yeah, Buck. I’m pretty sure.”
“No.” Buck shakes his head forcefully. “That’s not… fuck. I’ll leave if that’s what you want, but… I wish I could help.”
Eddie sucks in a breath. He’s sure Buck doesn’t mean it like that , but his body isn’t getting the message. Since it’s Buck, he’s probably thinking about whatever food or supplies Eddie might need. “I appreciate it, but I already made a trip to pick up everything.”
Finally, Buck lifts his head to look at him, and it’s like a punch to Eddie’s sternum. Buck looks wrecked . Probably a normal reaction to finding out your best friend has been hiding a huge secret, but that doesn’t make Eddie feel any better.
“Do you… are you always alone?” Buck asks. “I hate when I have to go through it alone.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says simply, trying not to feel defensive. “I don’t like the idea of spending it with a random alpha. Alone is easier.”
Even though this conversation is about telling Buck the truth, there are some things Eddie still can’t admit. He can’t say that he aches to have someone with him during his heats, but there’s only one person he really wants. He can’t ask Buck to stay, because Buck is used to spending heats with alphas. He can’t explain that during his heat, when Eddie is stripped down to his base desires, he’s not thinking about being devoured and taken apart by a feral alpha. He’s dreaming about being surrounded by a warm, sweet-smelling omega who whispers in his ear and fills him up nice and slow.
“Okay,” Buck says, looking away again. “If that’s what you want, I’ll figure something out.”
Buck books a hotel room.
It seems like the best option. Maddie is busy with the new baby, and she’s already had to deal with too many of his spirals. He could stay with someone else, but he doesn’t want to explain why he needs to leave Eddie alone for a week. Eddie being an omega is no one’s business but his own, and Buck is afraid he’ll give something away if Hen or Chimney or Bobby press him too hard.
Eddie is an omega . The thought spins around his brain constantly for the next few days. It shouldn’t matter as much as it does. Is Buck a little hurt that Eddie never felt safe enough to tell him until living together made it impossible to hide? Sure. Has Buck occasionally entertained the fantasy of Eddie being an alpha, even though he never talked about his designation? Maybe. But it’s not disappointment that he feels when he thinks about Eddie. He can’t define the feeling, but he knows what it’s not.
The other thing drawing most of Buck’s focus is the revelation that is Eddie’s scent. He must have stopped wearing scent blockers around the house after their conversation, because there’s no escaping it now. Eddie smells like strawberries and spring mornings, and it’s so overwhelming that it makes Buck want to cry.
He smells it now, sitting on the couch with his packed bag on the floor by his feet. Chris has already been dropped off at the Wilsons’, Eddie retreated to his room hours ago, and Buck should have left by now. But every time he thinks about leaving Eddie all alone, his whole chest throbs with the wrongness of it.
His own heat isn’t due for another month, but Buck’s face is still covered with a thin sheen of sweat, and there’s an itch under his skin he doesn’t understand. It’s similar to the feeling he gets when he scents an attractive alpha and his biology kicks into high gear. But the only person here is Eddie and his sweet, perfect, omega scent. So it can’t be the same thing.
And it’s not like he’s a bigot. Buck is well aware that sexual partners come in all shapes, sizes, genders, orientations, and designations. It’s just that Buck has been around plenty of omegas, and he’s never felt anything like this before.
That’s not why he’s still sitting here, though. No matter how off balance Buck feels right now, he still knows Eddie. And he knows what it looks like when Eddie is punishing himself.
It’s that thought that finally pushes Buck to his feet. He leaves the bag by the couch and pads over to Eddie’s door. The closer he gets, the stronger Eddie’s scent is. He pauses, resting his hand on the doorknob and pressing his forehead to the door. There’s something simmering beneath the pleasant sweetness - a sourness that triggers alarm bells in Buck’s mind.
Every one of his instincts is telling Buck to break down the door and get to Eddie as quickly as possible, but he forces himself to knock.
“Eddie?” His name comes out strangled. “Can I come in?” There’s no answer, and Buck fights back panic as he rattles the locked doorknob. “Eddie, if you don’t say something in the next ten seconds, I’m breaking this door down.”
“Wait.” Eddie’s voice is strained but audible.
Buck forces himself to step back, his hands clenched by his sides. He listens to Eddie’s soft steps, the click of the lock, and then forces himself to count to five before opening the door.
Eddie’s room is dark, and it takes Buck’s eyes a few moments to adjust. He steps into the room, closing and locking the door again behind him. There’s a thump as Eddie’s body falls back to the bed.
In here, Eddie’s scent is so overpowering that it pushes Buck forward, his feet stumbling across the floor through the darkness. His shins hit the side of the bed and he lets out a grunt, fighting to stay upright.
“I thought you were leaving,” Eddie says, the words muffled.
“You… you smell wrong,” Buck stutters.
“Thanks,” Eddie mumbles.
Buck’s vision has adjusted enough that he can see the bed now, empty except for Eddie’s body sprawled across it. The comforter is pushed down to the end, and the pillows are nowhere to be seen. There’s certainly no sign of a nest. Panic flares under his ribs.
“Where’s your nest?” Buck asks, his eyes scanning the rest of the under-furnished room.
Eddie flops over onto his back, a slice of moonlight from the window illuminating his face. He’s wearing a black tank top and shorts, both of which are soaked through with sweat. “Don’t have one,” he says, defensive.
“But you…” Buck’s voice cracks. “You need a nest.”
“No.” Eddie turns his head away like he’s trying to hide his face. “Don’t deserve one.”
“What?” Buck feels his heart break in two. He had known Eddie was punishing himself, but it’s so much worse than he thought. A nest is a basic necessity. At least for Buck, it’s like a compulsion. When his heats start, he can’t think about anything else if his nest isn’t arranged just so. And Eddie doesn’t even have one.
“Didn’t want you to see me like this,” Eddie whispers. It’s hard to know if he meant to say it out loud.
Buck wants desperately to reach out and touch Eddie, but he doesn’t know what his role is here. If he was Eddie’s alpha, he would wait until Eddie invited him into his nest and then give him whatever he needed. But Buck isn’t an alpha and Eddie doesn’t even have a nest, so he stays where he is.
“Please go,” Eddie says.
Obediently, Buck takes a step back before he has a chance to think about it. Eddie is telling him to leave, so he should leave… right? That’s what he wants - to give Eddie what he’s asking for.
Except Buck knows Eddie, so he knows that Eddie is terrible at acknowledging what he needs and even worse at asking for it.
Eddie whimpers, shifting so his legs are pulled tight against his chest. Buck pulls in a shaky breath and makes a decision. Even if Buck can’t give Eddie everything an alpha could, he can still take care of him.
“I’m going to make you a nest,” Buck says, doing his best to sound commanding. “Can you move to the middle of the bed for me?”
Eddie’s only response is slowly pushing himself up on his arms, grimacing in pain as he moves his body to the center of the empty bed.
Buck nods. “Good. I’ll be right back, okay?”
It takes effort to walk away, but Buck soothes himself by going through the familiar steps of nest building. He gathers some blankets from the linen closet and pulls a few of Eddie’s shirts out of the laundry hamper. He almost grabs some of his own clothes, but that feels presumptuous. There’s nothing worse than an unwanted scent in your nest.
He returns to the bedroom, setting the pile of clothes and blankets on the bed. As Buck begins arranging them, Eddie watches, his chest heaving with every breath. A surge of bravery makes Buck reach for him, and he brushes a few sweaty strands of hair out of Eddie’s face. It makes Eddie’s eyes flutter shut, his mouth dropping open with a pretty moan.
Buck swallows hard, heat pooling in his gut. He’s never seen Eddie like this, all flushed and needy. God, Buck wants to give him everything . He finishes the nest as quickly as he can, his hands finding their way back to Eddie every few seconds.
“Is this all right?” Buck asks, picking up the pillow he found lying on the floor and tucking it under Eddie’s head. Even though he’s the one taking care of Eddie, it’s hard to drown out the part of his mind that yearns for praise.
Eddie grabs Buck’s wrist, tugging at the cuff of his hoodie. Buck’s pulse races at the pleading look in Eddie’s dark eyes. “Want this,” he whispers.
“You want my hoodie?”
By the time Eddie hums in agreement, Buck is already pulling it over his head. Eddie tugs the hoodie out of Buck’s hands, clutching it to his chest and burying his face in the fabric. The sight almost brings Buck to his knees. Eddie wants Buck’s scent in his nest - the nest Buck just made for him.
It soothes an itch Buck hadn’t even realized was there. Taking care of Eddie always feels good, but it’s never felt like this . Seeing Eddie’s body relax, knowing that it’s because of him, fills Buck with a bone-deep satisfaction.
“What else do you need?” Buck whispers, carding his fingers through Eddie’s hair.
“The box,” Eddie murmurs. “Under the bed.”
Buck drops to his knees, bending down until he spots the small plastic box tucked behind a duffle bag. Judging by everything else, it probably only contains the most basic heat supplies, but at least it’s something.
He sets the box on the nightstand before turning his attention back to Eddie. Buck’s hoodie is still clutched against his chest, but he’s turned onto his back now. It’s impossible to ignore the way Eddie’s cock is tenting his shorts, and Buck is suddenly, viscerally aware of how much slick is coating the insides of Eddie’s thighs.
Buck should leave now. He’s helped in all the ways he can without crossing the line between friendship and something more. Eddie still hasn’t actually asked for Buck to help him, and it would be taking advantage of his vulnerable state if he stayed.
When Eddie lets out a whimper and shifts his hips up in an aborted thrust, Buck stumbles to his feet and tries to walk toward the door. He really does try. But then Eddie’s gaze latches onto him, and it freezes him in place.
“Buck,” Eddie moans. “Please stay.”
His whole body goes ice cold and then blazing hot. “Eddie, I… I can’t.” He can’t stay. Because if Buck does this and Eddie regrets it after, he’s not sure he’ll ever recover.
“Need you. Buck, please.”
And what is Buck supposed to say to that? This is Eddie, who never lets himself need anything. And all Buck has ever wanted is someone who needs him.
So he walks back to the bed, holds out his hand, and lets Eddie pull him into the nest. Eddie shudders, wrapping himself around Buck. His hands slide under the hem of Buck’s shirt, the feverishly hot skin of his arms plastered against Buck’s lower back.
It takes no time at all for Buck’s cock to stiffen where it’s pressed up against Eddie’s thigh, and he can feel slick starting to form between his legs. But he’s not the one in heat, so he forces his own body’s urges to the back of his mind.
“Smells so good,” Eddie pants, pressing his nose into the scent gland near Buck’s throat. “Want you all around me.”
“Yeah?” Buck brings one hand up to Eddie’s hair, letting the other rest on Eddie’s waist. He wants to touch Eddie everywhere, but he’s so afraid to mess this up. “Tell me where you want me. Wanna take care of you, sweetheart.” The pet name slips out more easily than he expected. It’s new, but so is everything else that’s happening right now.
Eddie yanks on the bottom of his shirt with a whine, and Buck hurries to remove it. As soon as it’s off, Eddie grabs it and buries his nose in the thin fabric. He hums with pleasure and then carefully tucks both the shirt and the hoodie into the nest. Buck has to hold back a whimper at the sight. The revelation that Eddie wants Buck’s scent to be part of his safe place makes warmth flood his insides.
When Eddie turns back to him, there’s a little hesitation in his expression. His cheeks are still flushed pink, and he’s eying Buck’s chest with careful interest.
Buck takes a deep breath and steps off the cliff. “You need to be filled up, don’t you, baby?” He trails his fingers down Eddie’s arm. “Want me to fill you up?” It’s not the role he’s used to, and he can’t fill him the way an alpha could, but Buck will do anything in his power to make Eddie feel better.
Eddie nods, his eyes widening and then flicking to something behind Buck’s head. “The box,” he says. “Can you… can you get the box?”
Buck pulls back and pushes himself up, his stomach plummeting at what feels like rejection. Of course Eddie doesn’t actually want Buck’s cock inside him. Buck will never be Eddie’s alpha. He’s not sure why that feels like such a loss, when it was never even a possibility in the first place.
Blinking back the hot tears forming in the corners of his eyes, Buck grabs the box and turns back to Eddie. He’s a little surprised by the dildo Eddie pulls out. It’s much smaller than he expected - not even as big as Buck - and it’s not a model that includes an inflatable knot. Buck doesn’t always feel like he needs to take a knot during his heats, but he assumed he was in the minority.
After retrieving the dildo and some lube, Eddie closes the box and puts it on the bed behind him. He bites his lower lip, looking at Buck through his lashes, and Buck has to grasp onto Eddie’s hip to hold himself together. The earlier pang of rejection disappears, replaced by a giddy anticipation.
“Jesus Christ, Eddie,” Buck breathes out. “I’m gonna take such good care of you.”
“I know,” Eddie whispers, and it feels like a confession. “You always do.”
Eddie can’t believe Buck is willing to give him this. A few days ago, he was preparing himself for a life without Buck. And now he’s here, being so careful and gentle and irresistible. Eddie still hasn’t told him everything he wants, but he’s less afraid of saying the words out loud now.
Buck takes the dildo and lube from him, setting them on the bed. “Let’s get these clothes off you,” he says, pressing Eddie down onto his back. Buck works off his tank top, his hands skimming across every inch of skin he reveals.
Eddie lets out a breath, savoring the way Buck’s touch cools his skin. Buck always runs cold, and Eddie has never been more grateful for that fact.
Buck moves on to his shorts. Although he avoids direct contact with Eddie’s dick, Eddie is so sensitive that Buck’s proximity is enough to send shivers racing along his nerves. More slick gushes out of his hole, soaking the sheet beneath him.
“You’re so pretty here,” Buck whispers, tossing aside his shorts and staring down at Eddie in awe. “Making it so easy for me to fill you up.”
Eddie whines, his hips lifting on their own accord. He wants Buck inside him so badly his mind nearly whites out, but there’s something else he wants more. If only he can work up the courage to ask for it.
Buck presses his thighs apart, his hands stroking the slick, sensitive skin there. His right hand slowly moves toward Eddie’s center, circling closer and closer to his entrance. Eddie’s cock twitches against his stomach, and his lungs contract when Buck’s fingers finally sink into him. The sound it makes is obscene, fingers squelching through the slick that coats his walls.
“So good, Buck,” Eddie groans, tangling his hands in the sheets.
“Won’t need much lube,” Buck gasps out. His fingers quickly find that soft, sensitive spot inside that has Eddie writhing against the bed. He’s already on the precipice of an orgasm, mostly from the knowledge that it’s Buck touching him, but he doesn’t want to come yet.
“Buck, please.” Eddie’s hand searches until he grasps the base of the dildo, thrusting it in Buck’s direction.
A laugh bursts out of Buck. “You’re an eager little thing, huh?” He pulls his fingers out of Eddie, using the slick covering them to coat the dildo. Eddie forces air into his lungs. He has to look away from Buck to have any chance of keeping himself together.
The dildo presses in, and Eddie’s walls pulse around it. It fills him just enough, soothing the ache in his gut without being overwhelming.
“How does that feel?” Buck asks, pressing his lips against the side of Eddie’s knee.
Eddie grins. “So good.” He reaches for Buck’s arm, pulling him up and turning them onto their sides again. He has to clench around the dildo to keep it from falling out, and the movement sends pleasure shooting up his spine. It makes him shudder, and Buck’s forehead creases with concern.
“You all right?” Buck asks, his hand cupping Eddie’s jaw.
“Almost perfect.” Eddie wraps his arm around Buck, pulling them closer together. He tucks his face into Buck’s shoulder, seeking out his soothing scent. “Can I tell you what I really want?”
“Of course, Eddie. Anything.”
“First, I want the rest of your clothes off.”
Buck laughs and makes quick work of shoving off his jeans and boxers. His cock bounces against his stomach, flushed and hard with wetness smeared across the tip. Eddie wants to get his mouth around it, but that will have to wait.
It still takes him another moment to work up the courage to say the rest of it. He’s so used to feeling like he was born wrong, never quite fitting in anywhere. The guilt and regret is hard to shake, but Buck makes him feel like he belongs. Even if he says no to this request, he won’t make Eddie feel wrong for wanting it.
“I want to be inside you,” Eddie murmurs against his skin. “I want to feel you all around me and fill you up and forget about everything that’s not you.”
“ Fuck .” Buck convulses, his hand squeezing Eddie’s waist so hard that it’s going to leave a mark. It’s enough to bring Eddie right up to the edge again. “Are you serious?”
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it,” Eddie admits. “I know it’s not what I’m supposed to want, but…”
Buck nudges Eddie’s head back, forcing his eyes up to Buck’s. “Fuck what you’re supposed to want. I can’t think of a single thing I wouldn’t let you do to me.”
Eddie’s chest smolders with barely contained heat. There’s so much love for Buck trapped inside that it feels like it’s going to pour out of him, and he surges up to capture Buck’s lips in a kiss.
Buck gasps, opening to Eddie immediately. His mouth is warm and wet, and Eddie wants to devour him. For now, though, he settles for scraping his teeth across Buck’s tongue and then biting down on his lower lip. That pulls a groan out of Buck, who finally gets his hand on Eddie’s ass and thrusts their bodies together. The motion jolts the dildo inside him, and it angles against his prostate just as their cocks meet in a slick slide.
The fire inside him turns into a blaze. Eddie lets out a strangled cry, too far gone to stop himself from rutting up against Buck to chase his release. His cock spurts thick, hot ropes of come all over Buck’s chest, and he can feel slick escaping around the end of the dildo. Buck lets out a strangled noise, his hand gripping the base of his dick to stave off his own orgasm.
A weight lifts off of Eddie, granting him a momentary reprieve from the oppressive heat in his body. He had wanted to put off the first orgasm of his heat a little longer, but it’s hard to regret the pleasure of seeing his come all over Buck. He looks… claimed .
When he lifts his hand to run his fingers through his spend, Buck shivers and grabs his wrist. “Don’t… don’t wipe it off.” The words tumble out of his mouth, a little disjointed. “I… I like it. It makes me…” His cheeks flush pink. “I feel like I’m yours.”
Eddie gives him a crooked smile, swiping two fingers through his come and bringing them to Buck’s lips. Buck opens eagerly, tongue moving expertly to lap up every last drop.
“You are mine,” Eddie whispers. “And I’m yours.”
Buck nods, eyelashes fluttering as he closes his mouth around Eddie’s fingers and sucks. On any other day, Eddie might be content to do this forever. But there’s heat swirling in his abdomen again, and he’s desperate to know how it feels to have even more of himself inside Buck.
So Eddie pulls his fingers back slowly, letting the pad of his thumb rest against Buck’s lip. “Want me to open you up?”
Buck hums, sliding his foot up the bed so his knee is raised, allowing Eddie easier access. The new position also releases a fresh wave of his scent. “Won’t take much. I’m so wet for you, Eds.”
Sweat gathers at Eddie’s temples, the fever of his heat back in full force. He reaches in between Buck’s legs, fingers easily finding the slick, tight ring of muscle around his entrance. A bolt of red-hot desire sears down Eddie’s spine as he imagines what Buck must look like during his heats - all soaked and loose and desperate. Even though he’s sure Buck will still want an alpha to help with his heats, Eddie briefly imagines a world where Buck asks for him instead.
In that world, maybe Eddie would stop taking his heat suppressants. He’s heard of instances where omegas live together long enough that their heat cycles eventually sync up, and he feels certain that it would happen to the two of them. It’s the stuff of Eddie’s deepest, most hidden fantasies - having an omega to share all of his heats with, looking forward to a week of shared pleasure instead of solitary pain.
“Eddie?” Buck’s voice jolts him back to reality. “Where’d you go, sweetheart?”
With a grimace, Eddie presses his face into Buck’s shoulder and focuses on working his finger in deeper. If he focuses on the here and now, he might be able to hold back his tears.
When Eddie works in a second finger and builds toward a steady rhythm, Buck’s body starts to shake around him. His hand sinks into Eddie’s hair, pulling it hard enough that Eddie lets out a hiss.
“I’m ready,” Buck pants. “Not gonna last long.”
Eddie shakes his head, the movement restricted by Buck’s grip on him. “Not yet. Just hold on for me.”
The only protest Buck can manage is a long groan. Eddie scissors his fingers, avoiding contact with Buck’s prostate as he opens him up. This is what Eddie needs. If he can just get inside Buck and stay there until it shuts out all the voices in his head, maybe that will be enough.
Once Eddie is satisfied that Buck is ready for him, he gets his hand on his cock and finally, finally slides home into Buck’s tight, wet heat. A punched out groan escapes Buck and he wraps his arms around Eddie, pulling him in impossibly close. Eddie settles his hand on Buck’s thigh. He’s breathing hard, his mind buzzing with pleasure. Buck’s walls flutter around him, clenching to keep him trapped inside, and it’s everything he’s ever wanted.
“You feel so good,” Eddie breathes out. He lifts his head, seeking out the comfort of Buck’s scent gland. “Wish I could live inside you.”
Buck whines Eddie’s name, shifting his hips as he tries to slide his cock against Eddie’s stomach. “You can move now,” he gasps. “I’m so close.”
“Can I…” Eddie bites his tongue, sliding his hand up and anchoring it on Buck’s lower back. “Can we stay like this?” It doesn’t even fully make sense to him, so he’s not sure how to explain it. He’s sure his heat brain will take over again soon and have him chasing another orgasm, but right now he can’t imagine anything feeling better than this. “You can be a good boy and wait to come, can’t you?”
“Anything for you.” Buck whimpers, his whole body tensing with the effort it takes to hold himself still. “I’d do anything. But I’m so…” his voice breaks off into a moan.
“I know.” Eddie mouths along Buck’s jaw. “You’re doing so good.” It does something to Eddie, the fact that he’s capable of making Buck this needy and desperate. It also gives him hope that maybe Buck wouldn’t be opposed to doing this again. The thought makes him clench around the toy inside him, briefly imagining how it would feel to have Buck there instead.
He forces himself to relax for a moment, holding Buck still and savoring the way their bodies fit together. Eddie can’t believe he denied himself this for so long, but a tiny voice in the back of his mind whispers that maybe this is his reward for all those years of miserable, lonely heats. Maybe he’s finally done penance for all of his mistakes and he gets to be happy from here on out. Whether that’s true or not, Eddie doesn’t want to lose this.
Once he senses that Buck has relaxed a bit, Eddie pulls back to look at him. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m going to lose my mind,” Buck says with a laugh.
Eddie runs his tongue along his bottom lip, opening his mouth to ask if he can hold out a little longer. Before he can get the words out, Buck leans in to give him a searing kiss. The warm press of his lips mixed with the sharp graze of his teeth stokes the heat in Eddie’s body. He indulges himself for a moment, exploring the taste and texture of Buck’s mouth that eagerly opens to Eddie.
“Still feel good?” Eddie asks, pulling out of the kiss. He brings his hands to Buck’s chest, feeling a sick thrill of pride at the way his come has dried and made a sticky mess of Buck’s chest hair.
“I’d feel even better if you’d let me come,” Buck murmurs against his ear, moving his hands to cup Eddie’s ass. His fingers slide deliberately along the base of the dildo, thrusting it up slightly. It causes a chain reaction, Eddie clenching down around the toy and his cock twitching inside of Buck. They both moan, their bodies surging together.
“I don’t know if you deserve it,” Eddie gasps. “Not if you’re going to play dirty.”
“Please,” Buck whines, his fingers twitching against Eddie’s skin but otherwise staying still. “I want to be good.”
“You are,” Eddie assures him. “You’re so good at this.” He brushes his fingernails across Buck’s pecs, pinching his nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Buck practically sobs, his eyes screwed shut as he tries not to move. “So good at keeping my cock nice and warm, right where it belongs.”
“ Fuck ,” Buck manages to get out. He jerks forward, rutting into Eddie. “Need to come. Please, alpha.”
Eddie registers the mistake immediately, but he’s not sure Buck is aware of what he just said. Whether it’s the years of wishing he had been born as something else or the realization that he’s apparently good enough for Buck just the way he is, those words make something deep inside of him crack open.
With a growl, Eddie grabs hold of Buck’s thigh and pushes him over so he’s laying flat on the bed. Using his free arm to hold himself up, Eddie pulls back until only the tip of his cock is left inside Buck.
“Please,” Buck sobs. “Need your cock, alpha.”
Eddie surges forward, thrusting as deep into Buck as he possibly can. Buck howls , arching up off the bed. Deliriously, Eddie wishes he could split himself in two - one half staying in his own body, and the other half merging into Buck. He wants to be fucked and filled, but he wouldn’t give up his current position for the world.
On the next thrust, Eddie feels the dildo start to slide out of him. He tries to clench down and keep it inside, but he’s too wet. With a whine, he releases Buck’s thigh and reaches back toward Buck’s hands, which are both still latched onto Eddie’s ass. Buck gets the hint quickly, grasping onto the base of the toy. He twists it to adjust the angle so it hits Eddie’s prostate when he pushes it back inside.
“Fuck yes,” Eddie gasps, moving his hips to chase the sensation. “Just like that.”
“I’ve got you,” Buck whispers. “Come on, baby.”
They quickly fall into a rhythm, Buck fucking the dildo into Eddie as Eddie continues driving into Buck. It’s the most overwhelming sensation Eddie has ever felt, and he never wants it to end. But he also can’t wait to watch Buck fall apart.
Eddie gets his hand around Buck’s dick, sliding precum from his tip all the way down his length. Buck gasps out his name, face screwing up as he tries to push into Eddie’s fist.
“You gonna come for me, Buck?” Eddie asks, matching the speed of his hips with his hand. “Wanna see you.”
Buck wails when he comes, shooting all over his stomach and Eddie’s hand. The sight of Buck beneath him, filthy and breathless, is enough to pull Eddie over the edge with him. He makes a few more frantic thrusts, burying his cock deep inside Buck as he comes.
His whole body shakes with the force of his release, his arm giving way as he collapses onto Buck’s chest. Buck groans, wrapping his arms around Eddie. They’re pressed together so tightly that it’s hard to breathe, and Eddie couldn’t care less.
“Fucking Christ.” Buck’s chest expands with a breathy laugh. He turns a little onto his side, but he doesn’t release his hold on Eddie. That leaves Eddie with his face pressed right up against Buck’s scent gland, exactly where he wants to be.
“You called me alpha,” Eddie says, pressing the words into Buck’s skin. “Twice.”
“I guess I did.” Buck trails his fingers down Eddie’s back, moving in slow circles. “Is that… okay? It sort of just slipped out.”
Eddie hums. His mind is too fuzzy and blissed out to put much thought into anything, but he definitely doesn’t feel upset about it.
“It just felt so good,” Buck continues. “Like you knew exactly what I needed.”
“Me too,” Eddie whispers. He feels warm and gooey and so fucking happy, but he can’t find the words to tell Buck how much this means to him. He lifts his head and kisses Buck’s jawline. “Will you stay?”
Buck’s arms tighten around him. “Of course, Eddie. Of course. For as long as you’ll let me.”
Eddie sighs happily, summoning the energy to push himself up so he can kiss Buck properly. There’s so much more to say, and he’s sure they will. But for now, it’s enough to know these four undeniable truths:
- Buck knows that Eddie is an omega, and it didn’t scare him away.
- Eddie is looking forward to the rest of his heat for maybe the first time ever.
- Buck isn’t going to move out.
- Eddie is in love with his best friend, and that doesn’t scare him anymore.