Chapter Text
Kel knocked on his best friend's door.
Three days left.
Miraculously, that door opened, a blank face illuminated by sunlight, fitting for his friend's name. Features once soft were now gaunt, a certain unnatural thinness accentuated in each of his movements. Every unsteady step the other took went unnoticed by Kel's bright eyes, excited–distracted.
Like a children's game of follow the leader, Kel did nothing beyond trailing behind his best friend, straying from that course only upon hearing yelling, the kind he'd never noticed before, too focused on his own path to happiness.
Once together, now across from one another.
Kel confiscates a knife, admonishing his friend, confused yet still playful.
Never once thinking further about its presence.
Not thinking about those dull eyes facing his, changed once eating dinner at Basil's. To Kel, it was a day full of fun and reunion, with hope for the next. The moon shone above him as he went home, never thinking, never mindful of anyone around him.
Two days left.
It was another day of exploration, of sights Kel had already seen that felt new once visited with his best friend. He followed closely behind, sitting at the bench when his friend wanted an impulsive job. He stayed happy and clueless, watching the birds fly in the blue sky, the clouds fluffy and extensive.
A hand sometimes in his, sometimes not.
A hand bringing him to a grave, a hand holding his as he spoke, spilling some of his soul, uncertain why it was still so easy to confide in his friend despite the years they were separated.
A hand letting go of his, always walking a few steps ahead.
Never looking back.
There was more confrontation, this time ending in a sour fight, leading to two almost drowning. His brother thankfully came in time to prevent tragedy. Misery wasn't a part of his story now–their tragedy was in the past, and it would stay there as it was meant to. Six had already become five, and no further loss would happen.
Basil was carried home safely, and they left, hanging out, just the boys. It was delightful how they got to stay over, how Kel could revel in memories of the past one more time, gazing around the house with subtle glee, indulging in making a bed fort with his brother. It was like the old times he loved, treasured in his mind, and had never forgotten.
An airhead through and through, yet he never allowed those precious images of joy to get lost in the breeze of his constant, chattering thoughts. They handed the gift of recipes over, a futile effort on Kel's part, really, to push Hero toward his happiness.
Kel felt happy and safe with the people he loved, so he effortlessly fell asleep, oblivious to his brother's continued words and his friend's possible reaction.
One day left.
They were brought to Aubrey's, the first time Kel had ever entered her house. He kept his eyes forward, chest twinging with an ache he couldn't afford, not when he was trying to look forward. Now, he glances upward into the attic that was her room.
They reconciled easily, Hero there to smooth out any strife, Kel letting go of any lingering feelings because that was the right thing to do–what he wanted to do. He would enjoy his time with his friends, together again. His best friend would have to move soon, and although visiting would be obvious, it was still hard to imagine them any distance apart.
It was only then that Kel began to think…
What if he had gone sooner? Succeeded sooner?
With a persistent knock, knock, knock…
How come he only began after a sold sign was planted in that grassy yard?
Maybe then, glancing at his best friend at the cemetery once again while trying to comfort his brother, he would understand the expression on the other's face.
There was a lot Kel didn't know...because he didn't ask.
He didn't pay attention.
Kel had looked forward for years and didn't even think to question his best friend, only seeing his back as they walked, step by step, together again, again–which felt like it could be forever, like the past had returned, as it was meant to be.
Aubrey cried, apologized, and they all hugged, further cementing his hopeful belief. All was right again, and Kel, despite his concern over Basil's locked door, fell asleep easily amongst his friends' warm mumblings, mind at peace, heart at ease.
That night.
Kel held his friend.
There's blood on the floor, on his face, on all of them, now.
His knuckles ached from an instinctive punch, glancing back at Basil, who still held the garden shears, hand tensed, staring at him not like a deer caught in headlights, as that spoke of a stupid innocence in the face of sudden danger.
Basil was blinded by hideous emotion, and moved in turn with that sudden, crippling darkness.
Aubrey prevented further damage, and Kel turned back to his best friend.
The day of his move.
Kel waited for Basil to wake up. They all waited.
Despite the doctor's reassurance that it would be soon, Basil did not. Kel, antsy, was not as patient as the other two. He wanted to check on his friend, even if the other certainly wouldn't be awake–much less have the energy to speak.
Had he spoken at all since they'd met again?
Had he?
Kel couldn't remember now.
All he could see was a gaping hole where an eye should be.
An injury that had Kel sweating and unable to comprehend, the rusty cogs in his mind finally turning after that night. He stayed awake until the sun rose again, waiting and waiting for anything to make sense. Once left to rot, covered in tangling cobwebs, his brain's perceptive mechanisms started up again, back to work, back to functioning.
No longer was Kel looking forward.
He was looking down, connecting dots, remembering faces, expressions, states of being–
An empty bed and a hunch.
Kel turned and ran, going to the only place his friend should not be, making sure he was not there first. He heard a doctor mention it in passing, something Kel would have never remembered had his mind not been lit up again with an anxious feeling he thought he had buried through practice.
Maybe it had never been practice but blissful, horrible ignorance.
"Sunny?"
His best friend was on the roof, by the railing.
"Sunny…why are you up here?"
Kel followed, as he had been for days, a habit now formed, a hand outstretched, hoping to be held again. Sunny stepped back, and Kel froze, noticing the broken bars, the pure blue surrounding them.
Warmth hit his back, casting a shadow. The sun once more illuminated his friend's face, bandaged and empty, a depressing reality Kel had ignored once light returned to his eyes. It wasn't a guarantee that hope was permanent, and anything gained in the past days was thrown away, two feet shuffling back toward the ledge.
"Sunny, we can talk about this. I–I'm here for you, okay? Is this because of Mari? Basil? Is this because of anything we did? Is there anything I can do to help?" Kel spat out a slew of useless words, his friend not reacting to a single one.
Kel took another step, following.
Sunny took a step back, fleeing.
"P–Please, please…don't do this. Please don't do this, Sunny." Kel's tongue was cotton, throat scratchy and dry, stomach tearing as those newly functional gears in his mind sped up, searching through memories, anything, anything to appeal to Sunny. "Whatever's making you want to do this, we can fix it! We can still fix this!"
Sunny shook his head, dazed, wobbly on his feet, stumbling further away.
Kel's right eye pulsed, an empathetic pain–a warning from his mind.
"I…I can't lose you, Sunny."
A step forward, a step back.
The sky remained bright, the warmth of a gentle breeze soothing at any other time. Kel's hair fell into his blurring vision, his mouth faintly agape, and his breaths coming out in short bursts. Strange weights pressed against his ribs, constricting.
"I'll do anything. Anything you want, anything you need. I'm here for you, Sunny. I promise you. I promise. I swear on my life that I can help you be happy again. We can all face this together. Aubrey, Hero, Basil…think of them. We need you. So please…come back." The words sounded steady to himself, filtered out through a heavy jaw, ears ringing in disbelief.
This had happened before, and last time, there was no convincing the one strung up from a tree, dead before anyone could stop her from leaving.
Kel had a chance.
That had to be a sign that this would all work out.
Kel smiled for Sunny, hope in his gaze.
"You're my best friend. Nothing is going to change that. You listened to me, you were there for me, and now it's my turn to be there for you. So…so…”
Kel stumbled forward, Sunny finally still.
"We love you, Sunny. You won't ever have to feel alone and terrible again."
Sunny stared.
Kel realized only now that he was crying.
"I love you, so please…please don't go."
Kel reached out one more time, like he did three days ago, like he did four years ago, like he did eight years ago, the first time he saw the other. Kel's hand was extended, a gentle offering, warm and knowing that Sunny would respond, because he always had, in the end, no matter what happened.
All that time ago, his eyes had been bright and rounded, and he was shyly hiding behind his big sister, with puffy black hair accentuating his baby face. Kel had never been more excited, offering his friendship openly. Sunny had accepted his hand. No matter what happened, Kel knew they would stay together. Even as they both got older, even after they grew apart because of grief–
Even after all these years, Sunny still opened the door for him, which meant as long as Kel reached out, Sunny would hold his hand.
Sunny would always be there.
And Kel would always stand beside him.
They were best friends. They were childhood friends. They'd known each other for so, so long, and trusted one another. Sunny would know Kel meant his words, every single one. Sunny would trust him.
His clueless hope won one last time, cementing that he was Kel.
And Kel was an idiot.
Sunny backed off the roof.
…
Kel leaned forward, the world quiet.
Sunny closed his eye, at peace, choosing to leave him despite everything he said.
Kel overrode that decision and leaped after him without thought, without anything other than a base instinct.
Because all Kel knew how to do was follow Sunny, he was a step behind, watching, reliant on the other's existence. He was oblivious, unaware, unable to recognize reality until it was too late, and impulsive toward what he believed was the right path.
And their path, now, leads directly to the pavement.
Finally, Sunny looked at him properly, no longer vacant and gone, back to himself, in shock as he met Kel's gaze. One pure, wide obsidian eye reflected the sky, and Kel reached out, hugging him, holding his head, and turning his body over.
I wish I could be with you forever.
Kel's life didn't flash before his eyes, because his brain hadn't caught up to his body's decision.
I wish I could protect you.
Wind whistled past his ears, mixing with Sunny's cries and his frantic movements in realization.
I wish…
The light in the sky burned Kel's eyes.
…I wasn't scared.
It was seconds of mind-distorting terror, shattering him.
I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm–
Kel was only alive for a moment upon impact, and he and Sunny became one, their bodies broken apart and blended against the pavement, splattered under the bright, shining sun.
*
Sunny was falling.
I wish I could be in Headspace forever.
A thought that made him give himself up to Omori, shrinking away, beginning to fully disappear. That choice didn't last long, as he faced the consequences of his actions, diving after him, holding him, turning them around.
I wish I wasn't in pain!
That selfish desire drove him, now making him face the ground as Kel held onto him tightly, trying to shield them with his body, a futile effort, one that had every emotion coming back to Sunny–that had him coming back to himself, all his efforts to disappear thwarted by his friend's actions.
I wish I never learned the truth!
They were going to die, and Sunny could only helplessly watch the ground grow nearer, nearer–
I changed my mind!
It was too late, and now it was his time.
Stop, stop, stop, stop–!
…
"Sunny?"
…
"Sunny, wake up!"
…
"Sunny? Are you there?"
His eye shot open, a gasp following as the impact lingered across his body, eye watering.
"Ah, are you okay!? Oh jeez, oh no–" A warm hand helped him sit up, Sunny shuddering in response, curling up in disbelief. He felt himself die–he felt himself hit the pavement–why was he here? Where was he? What was happening?
Sunny abruptly turned his head, only to be met with Kel's clear eyes, always that rich brown mahogany color, watching him with potent concern. Light reflected off rounded sclera, and Sunny's vision blurred as he quickly darted his gaze around, damaged vision struggling to take in the new location.
What…? Even his thoughts were reduced to nothing in shock. The expanse was fantastical yet partly grounded, the colors speaking of the Headspace he knew, yet the sky appeared realistic, a strange blend of reality and his dreams.
"So, um, I've been awake for a little longer than you…I think?" Kel's voice echoed in his ear, soft and careful. It contrasted his usual high energy, yet a slight smile remained, brows raised. "This is going to sound really weird, but like…I'm pretty sure we're in heaven. Or something?"
Sunny stared vacantly in response.
Kel shrugged his shoulders in a weak motion. "I–I mean, like…we just died, didn't we? Usually, you'd think…oh, wow, what a weird dream, right? But I can feel it here…" Kel patted his chest over the familiar tank top that his dream counterpart used to wear. It sported a new checkboard color scheme, a light sweater beneath to keep comfortable. "My heart? Or a gut feeling."
Oh.
Sunny trembled, clutching the fabric around his chest, understanding it too.
I killed Kel.
Tears sprang forth in no time, a natural reaction unhindered by the other self he tried to hide within. Kel's choice to follow had Omori receding instantly, drawing out Sunny and the heaviest of his feelings, sadness instantly overwhelming him.
He wanted to die. He was supposed to die.
But Kel…
"What's wrong? Wait, bad question–pretty obvious what's wrong." Kel interrupted himself, wincing. Sunny's crying wasn't the wailing sort–it wasn't loud, and it wasn't how it should be considering what he'd done. It was quiet, tears flowing only from one eye, an injury he somehow kept even in death. The sweater he wore practically swallowed him, and only after his sleeves slid up did he notice the state of his body beneath, hiccups slowing in shock.
Kel reacted quickly, tugging Sunny's sleeve back down with too much desperation, considering the smile he'd been sporting just moments before, likely in the same reeling state that Sunny was in. Keeping positive was what Kel was best at–Sunny just didn't expect it to continue in a situation like this.
Not that…he could've ever predicted any of this.
"D–Don't, uh, move that too much…and please don't take off your bandages. Our heaven is pretty nice, covering up…some weird stuff on our bodies. I guess that's what happens when you…" Kel trailed off, eyes widening, then softening, a bemused glint taking over the harrowing realization of before. "I actually can't…exactly remember our death! It doesn't matter. What matters now is that we're together, yeah? All I know is I died trying to save you, but…that didn't really work out, huh?"
Sunny began to cry again, and despite his aversion, he forced the words out of his throat, tearing them out of his selfish body. "I'm sorry," he sniffled, curling into himself and pulling away. Kel shook his head rapidly, hair flying every which way.
"Sunny, you can't blame yourself! I'm the one who wanted to save you! Look, there's no point in crying about it or having regrets now. We're already dead!" Kel seemed to have skipped right into acceptance, unsettlingly quick. Maybe it was his own way of distraction, not wanting to settle with their fate. "It's–it's not so bad! Look, we have our own paradise!"
Kel suddenly stood, scooping Sunny into his arms, then setting him down on his feet cautiously. Sunny was still unsteady, leaning into Kel as tremors wracked his body, the sensation of death stitched along his veins.
After a moment, Kel gestured to the distance, checking to ensure he was also looking. Sunny followed Kel's hand, staring out at the endless flower field. The breeze created a gentle sound, and the sky was soothing pastels decorated with fluffy clouds—those silly constellations he recognized twinkled in the sky.
"If this isn't heaven, I don't know what is," Kel murmured, squeezing Sunny's shoulder. "This is all pretty overwhelming, but…I don't know. At least we're together, and we're somewhere nice. I don't see anyone else around...I'm sure if we start moving, we'll find others. If not…" Kel tugged on the collar of his sweater, considering. "Eh, we'll figure it out. A personal paradise doesn't sound bad, either. I'm just glad I'm not alone…"
Sunny was beyond confused. Everything happened so fast. He dies, and…then it's fine? That's that? He's in Headspace?
This wasn't his usual Headspace–at least not the one he had explored the years before. Did it change because he died? How were they here in the first place? How was Kel here? Why did he know so certainly that this was the real Kel and not a figment he conjured up?
Both of them had this sense of certainty over their fate, knowing they were dead. That carried over to their existence, and these bodies had changed, reflecting their death in the form of unsettling markings. Would this be their souls? It's obviously not their regular bodies.
"What are you thinking so hard about?" Kel's voice snapped him out of his trance, a curious face angling to stare at him. There wasn't any blame there, not even the slightest wrinkle or flicker of fault projected his way. It made Sunny feel worse, shaky as he grappled with his decision.
It's all because he decided to jump off despite Kel being there. He hadn't been thinking straight. It was so, so stupid, but his desperation made him blind to how his escape might affect everyone else. Even now, it was hard to believe Kel would ever do such a thing, recklessly following him. It must have been an accident.
It was all his fault.
"Sunny…" Kel's mouth curled down, tears welling in his eyes. Only in seeing a mirror did Sunny again feel the tears streaming down his cheek, silent and pained. "Sunny, please don't blame yourself. It was my choice. I'm the only one to blame for dying."
Sunny shook his head, backing away, unable to bear his kindness. It made sense for Kel to be in a paradise, yet here he was, an intruder in the afterlife of someone innocent and kind. The peace Kel deserved couldn't include the person who led him to his demise.
When Sunny stepped away, Kel quickly followed, gently grasping his sleeve. Wobbly irises locked onto him, a nonsensical stutter following. Kel shut his mouth, taking a breath, squinting, and then glanced at the ground. He roughly crouched, ripping up a handful of flowers by the stem, keeping a hold on Sunny's sweater, peeking at him every few seconds for a reason Sunny couldn't pinpoint.
The messy bouquet was swiftly presented, Kel's chest rising and falling at a steadier rate.
"I don't regret it," He rushed out, pushing the flowers toward Sunny. "I don't, so don't leave, okay? It's-It's just us, right now. So can you…can you not do that again? If you feel bad, can you just…" An honest reaction followed, Kel avoiding Sunny's gaze, trying to hide his face without letting go. Ultimately, he lowered his head, mustering the softest of whispers, carried only by the breeze. "I meant everything I said...but you…still…"
Sunny didn't have the heart to say he hadn't been present enough to listen. He had succumbed to Omori. It wasn't until Kel leaped after him that he was abruptly tugged back to earth, the intense shock enough to pull him violently from the brink of becoming nothing.
"Why? Why?" The flowers fell, and Kel's expression distorted further. "A–Am I really…no good?"
Even if he hadn't heard, clearly Kel had said many meaningful things to change his mind. Being kind would've only made Sunny feel worse. At that point, nothing Kel could've said–nothing anyone could've said would change his mind. Sunny had no idea how to convey that, words dying on his tongue. Instead, he chose action.
Sunny stepped toward Kel, received the flowers gently, and wrapped his arms tightly around the other, getting as close as possible. "I'm sorry…" That's all he could get out, a pitiful attempt at cheering the other up. Why was Kel blaming himself at all? He should be angry, should be yelling at Sunny for killing them both because of his stupid choice. It was because he tried to throw away all his emotions that he had no common sense to even wait until Kel was gone to die.
Even now, he was struggling, his feelings dampened yet throughout him, tender in how overwhelming they were, even if they'd stopped manifesting physically. Actually…he no longer felt pain in his body at all, despite the marring. Must be a perk of death, Sunny thought dryly.
"I guess I probably seemed like I was just saying whatever to make you stay, huh? You didn't believe me…if you did, you wouldn't have jumped. I know you wouldn't have." Kel hugged him back, burying his face in Sunny's hair. "I wish I knew what I was supposed to say to make you change your mind…maybe if it was Hero…"
Kel stopped speaking.
"Oh…I didn't even…" Sunny felt Kel's hold tighten, hands curled into his sweater. "He'll…he'll be okay. I believe in him. I can't…really do anything but hope he'll be okay, huh? I don't…"
Kel pulled back, face blank. Sunny watched as he shook his head, hair messily flying back and forth. He squeezed his eyes shut, grimaced, then loosened up, exhaling a puff of air. He moved his arms, grasping where Sunny's hands were beneath the fabric of his sleeves. Sunny blinked, brow raising.
"That's not something I want to think about. I think…we should focus on finding a house or something to rest in. Maybe food to eat…do we need to eat?" After a sheepish smile, Kel tugged on Sunny's hand, letting go of one. "Sorry if I'm changing the subject. We can talk more about everything when it's not so fresh…is that okay?"
Sunny nodded. Of course, he was okay with that. Distraction and repression were his two most developed skills.
"Thanks, Sunny." Kel beamed, tugging him forward. "Do you mind if I lead for a little bit? My turn as the leader?"
Sunny encouraged him with a nod. Kel brightened further.
"Nice! I'll find us a great spot to rest for sure. It's not paradise without good food, so I'm sure we'll find some, whether we need it or not." Kel began to ramble, gazing out at the scenery with awe. "Seriously, this is so cool. I can make my promise to you come true here!"
Promise? Sunny tilted his head, Kel's warm grin reassuring despite everything.
"Anything you want, anything you need…I'm here for you. We'll do this together." After a moment of thought, Kel swung their arms playfully and slowed to match pace, the two walking side by side. "I'm glad…that we ended up together, after all."
Sunny stared. His guilt would suffocate him, the reality of the situation too harrowing for Kel to even acknowledge. That willful desire to remain positive was inspiring, and Sunny wished he could do the same and let go of his lingering misery. It was his fault that Mari died, and he wouldn't be able to shake that feeling–not ever. How could he, when he wasn't even willing to tell Kel, even now?
"Me too…" Sunny said, and Kel was brighter than the sun, happy despite it being Sunny he was stuck with. It was selfish of him not to say anything. He really should tell the truth. Even if Kel ended up hating him, it was only right because everyone should. Basil stabbed him because he deserved it. Because…there was...something...?
…
What…happened that day, exactly? Did Basil...really hate him? That didn't seem right...did it?
"Sunny? You okay?" Kel squeezed his hand.
Sunny nodded, dispersing his confusion, throwing those thoughts to the back of his mind like Kel had.
That was for future him to worry about.
*
Basil stared at his hands, vacant in a hospital bed.
“I’m sorry.”
Basil stood after a ceremony, flowers everywhere, caskets a formality.
“I’m so sorry, Basil.”
Basil watched someone approach him in his garden, and hunched, waiting for retaliation.
“Basil…Basil? A–Are you…”
Gentle hands reached out, clasping around his sweater. It was a hesitant reach, fingers curling into the soft fabric he wore, shaking. Basil blinked, briefly snapping from his depressive fugue to stare at–
At Aubrey.
Why was she here?
“S–Sorry if I’m…bothering you, but I don’t…”
She was here, and she was crying.
“I don’t know where else to go…”
It was unnatural how he felt at that moment. All he’d wanted to do was disappear, and the way to do that would be turning those damned garden shears on himself, escaping like Sunny had. He hated himself, hated that Kel was somehow caught in the crossfire. In every way, Basil blamed himself. Yet still…he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth.
And now, here Aubrey was, reaching out to him because she needed him. Any disgust, dislike, or negative emotion that had been there before was gone. When she saw the ruined photos, he remembered the blame in her eyes, yet even that fiery spark was snuffed out. It’s not that Basil hadn’t been listening to his old friends outside the door, to Aubrey apologizing, trying to draw him out, but…
It felt different, with Aubrey here in his garden again after all these years. She looked roughed up and unwell, the bags under her eyes puffy and red. Being lost in thought, Basil failed to realize how that might make the other feel, and Aubrey began to shift nervously, roughly wiping her face.
“Look! I didn’t…I didn’t come here first, okay? I had a good thing going. I was…I was staying in the graveyard with Sunny and Kel, and it…it was nice. I had a picnic blanket, the graveyard keeper left me alone…but the stupid preacher caught me sleeping there, and…” Basil noticed her gauntness as she spoke, even while hiding in baggy clothes. Sunken cheeks told of present hunger.
How her right arm clutched around her stomach should’ve been the more obvious tell.
“I can’t go to my friends, I don’t want to bother them, and I’m just such a mess right now–I–” Aubrey tugged on his sleeve again, staring, waiting. It was reminiscent of when they were younger, honest, and vulnerable. The sight left him in stunned silence, enough time for her trembling fingers to unfurl and pull away. Her lips tugged into a thin line, brows curving up with wide, humiliated eyes while she turned, stammering. “W–Whatever. I don’t–I don’t need you! It’s fine! I’ll just–I’ll just tell the preacher to leave me alone and–”
The kind thing to do would be to turn her away. Basil wasn’t going to be around for much longer. He’d already decided. Getting close to her–being there for her–
It felt so pointless when he was going to die. It was his time.
...Still...still–!
“If you don’t mind, you can stay at my house!” Basil burst, panic raising his voice. Aubrey flinched in a way that broke his heart, and he quickly lowered his tone, hunching. “You shouldn’t…be sleeping outside like that.” Basil grasped her arm gently, preventing her from fleeing. She whipped her head around, pink hair slipping past her shoulder. Eyes, now without contacts, bore into his, jittery and dull.
Relief lit them briefly, and she glanced at his arm, making Basil instantly yank his hand back, bending his fingers in shame. How could he touch her like that? Why would she want to be anywhere near him? It’s his fault Sunny and Kel are dead. If he hadn’t been so stupid–
“Well…if it…” Aubrey’s face scrunched, and she broke eye contact once more. “If it’s fine…I guess I can stay.” Her irises kept darting between his, his flowers, and the ground. He clasped his hands together tightly, trying not to get closer to her. “Um…can I bring Bun–Bun?” She nearly squeaked out, squeezing her eyes shut after the voice crack.
“Of course, Aubrey.” Basil figured he could smile for her. He could, right? Was he smiling? He had to. He had to smile for her.
For some reason, she doesn’t think it’s my fault.
Basil’s most selfish act was not revealing that obvious reality to her.
Just a few days with her, right?
Basil told himself that as he cleaned up Grandma’s room, heart nearing ash. Polly welcomed Aubrey with open arms, relieved that Basil was reaching out to someone, as it must mean he had decided to live.
Just a few days for her to settle in.
...
“It’s…kind of embarrassing. That’s why I never really told you guys about it. I don’t know…it feels like it’s my fault, you know? If I wasn’t so stupid and stayed out of her way…maybe she wouldn’t have finally kicked me out.”
Aubrey stared at him, needing him–needing a friend. Basil reached out and hugged her because that was who they used to be–Aubrey, who validated him when they were younger, defending his interests and demeanor, standing up for what was right when she could.
Like back then, she was soft at her core, and after spending so long as a strong figure fighting toward a bright future, cracks were now embedded in lines across her tough skin, chiseled by the death of her friends.
Basil held her together, patching her wounds as he always did his own, unable to cry as she held him in return, trying to return the favor. It was beyond a dream, beyond anything he could’ve imagined he would have after everything.
And it was all built on a lie.
She didn’t know what he did, didn’t know who he really was. He was taking advantage of her in her most vulnerable state, clinging to a person who, in her right mind, would never ever be near somebody like him.
Just…a few weeks.
“Thank you, Basil. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you…”
Aubrey’s eyes were lighter than before. She was finally starting to gain weight back, basking in the care Polly and he showed her. They did everything together. They watched shows, gardened, and hid away from the cruel world that took their friends. If there were a heaven, this must be what it felt like.
“You saved my life.”
She smiled at him, so lovely, so perfect.
Basil wanted to die.
Instead, he smiled back, hoping she couldn’t see how he trembled, guilt eating him alive.
Just a little longer.
Aubrey held large sunflowers, beaming under the sun.
“Maybe after everything...we can still be happy. That’s what…that’s what they would’ve wanted, right?”
She stared at him, waiting.
What could he do? He was already a terrible monster, justifying their bond with him providing her a home, with food and water–justifying it because she needed him. How much longer could he convince himself to stay alive for her? How much longer could he handle the burden of guilt, keeping that lie inside, selfishly wanting her to keep looking at him like he was somebody that mattered?
Like they were kids again, when she first reached out her hand?
Like he meant something?
Meant everything?
Just…one more day…
“I think…”
Curled next to him, Aubrey looked ethereal under the TV’s glow.
She didn’t know what she was feeling. She didn’t understand what was happening. She relied on him for everything, and that’s why they were close. That’s why when he faced her, indulging in her varying, dimmed expressions, there was peace and acceptance–that’s why when she looked at him, it was one of adoration.
Because he gave her a home. A guardian in Polly. Acted like the friend she needed. Pretended he had never done wrong. Hid away the truth of everything.
“I think I love you, Basil...”
Eyes closed, a smile brimming with hope and affection.
Just…
Basil had taken it too far.
Just one…
Basil had tricked her.
Just one more…
Basil tricked her into loving him.
One more…
He was sick.
One…
He was a monster that deceived an angel.
...
He poured it all into a note. Everything, the honest truth, his feelings, her feelings, how it was all a lie, how he took advantage of her situation, made her dependent on him, provided her a home, and fostered a relationship he didn’t deserve. He wrote about hanging Mari, about stabbing Sunny, about the horrible child he had always been.
And then, he burned it.
…
Wouldn’t it hurt Aubrey more if she knew the truth?
One last selfish choice.
Basil wrote a new note and directed Polly to give Aubrey everything–her care, the house, his belongings, his garden–his everything. He wanted her to be safe and loved forever by people who weren’t deranged and who had no ulterior motives–nobody who could turn on her or take advantage of her kind, beautiful heart.
Nobody would ever hurt her again.
And that included him.
Back before the tragedy, Basil had left his door unlocked. Basil was determined to end it all that night, yet there was that strand of hope that Sunny would come and save him. Sunny did, and it cost him his life in the end. This time, Basil couldn’t allow that to happen.
So he waited until they were asleep and went to Aubrey’s room because, of course, he couldn’t deny his last want. He was greedy and disturbed. He needed to see her breathing and okay, at peace. A traitorous hand reached out, gently brushing her bangs aside, the warmth from her healed skin tempting him to melt. Everything in him wanted to give in, to be with her, to stop caring about how he didn’t deserve a single second of her time or care.
But it was his time.
He’d put it off for long enough–far too long, dragging her into his corrupted orbit.
It’s okay. Aubrey would be okay without him. She didn’t need him like he tried to convince himself she did. He simply needed her more than anything, so he tried to believe the inverse was true.
Polly was more than enough. Aubrey had her own friends…normal friends she should return to.
Basil centered himself and took a deep breath, cupping her face, soft beneath the pads of his fingertips, filling his palm as if he had been born to hold her.
If only he hadn’t been himself.
...
A pitiful sense of loneliness made him gather a bundle of flowers from his garden, clutching the stems and letting these planted friends come with him. He waited for what felt like forever in the dark, eyes adjusting to it, believing this was where he should’ve always been. Light wasn’t cast onto earth for someone like him to witness.
Shadows suited him.
Something followed him, as it always had, as he had always ignored in favor of watching Aubrey. Now, without her presence, he was alone with the monsters that haunted him, waiting for him to join them.
And he would now. They no longer needed to pester him with nightmares, with thoughts, with visions that plagued him.
Basil found a clearing and sat, then laid down, holding his friends close with one hand, the other tightly wrapped around a handle. Lying and thinking for long would make him back out, and he couldn’t afford to let himself fall into desire.
One more minute, just one more minute.
This was the way to make everything right.
He had to. He had to, he had to.
Eyes surrounded by black observed him, shadows waiting for his comeuppance, taunting his escape from pain and guilt. It didn’t matter now, it really didn’t matter, because Basil had already decided it was his time and stabbed himself in the stomach.
I wish I’d disappear, with no one able to find me.
It would’ve been red had he been able to see. He bled on his poor friends, on the ones he grew up with, who would never leave him. In the end, he hurt them, too, as he hurt everyone.
As he hurt himself.
I wish I could stay in darkness forever...it’s what I deserve.
Now, it was finally over, wasn’t it? Everything would be okay again. Everything would finally be okay, like he promised. He promised so many things to so many people, and broke every single one. His word doesn’t mean a thing. Nothing he says will ever hold true. To the end, he was a liar.
He was a liar that didn’t deserve to die but chose to. He was a coward who only knew how to escape, wasn’t he? But he couldn’t bear it anymore. He couldn’t do it. It was all too much.
I wish…
From the beginning, living just one more day was a wasted effort.
I wish I could see them again.
The moment Sunny died, the moment Kel fell with him, he couldn’t live on.
I wish I could go where they are.
A measly hope from his soul that was impossible, because he was himself.
Basil would die as he lived.
Crying in the dark, with pain as his baseline, the flowers he’d grown clutched tightly, his only company.
I’m sorry…
The moon shined bright.
I’m sorry I was me.
*
Stranger was a figment of a dream. He was the manifestation of guilt, longing, something he never figured out. He had a purpose, and that was all that mattered. All that time and effort did amount to what fate had written out–Sunny made it to the truth.
And Sunny had died.
They all knew it, they all did, down in Black Space.
Even moments before, the ripping of space had begun, Omori torn apart for a reason unknown to Stranger, but certainly due to the other person who had traveled with Sunny upon death. The secrets of this world weren't entirely known to Stranger, but living in the festering hell below the surface, it was easy enough to put together this dream world was a parasite.
Now, it would feed eternally off the two unable to escape by waking. Was it because the two died together that they were both dragged in? Was that why the world kept expanding, expanding–to the point Stranger was now lost in a space he once understood intimately?
Cloaked in torn fabric and skulking through the darkness, he could do no more than gather information and survive as previous iterations were overwritten and time continued on. Stranger himself changed, a shadow distorted and fueled by the darkness, stretching taller. The cloak he managed to stick together had a functional hood, one that could rest over his glowing eyes when red hands flitted by. Although being a shadow wasn't particularly pleasant, it was perfect for stealth.
Once idle and neutral, the red hands now tore apart any monsters they encountered. Whether it was blood that splattered or obscure remains scattered about, Stranger took it all as a blatant warning. The hands surveyed the surroundings, darted around with intent, lively, and directed in a way they hadn't been before. What purpose were they following?
Stranger had no intention of finding out through sacrifice. He would watch and wait–he would carry along, trying to understand the new mechanisms of the world and deduce how to keep himself intact.
It was only when he'd finally gotten used to his new routine that a sudden change stitched across the fabric of their reality once more. Never before had Stranger seen Black Space evolve so rapidly–so grotesquely. The only possible explanation was another soul had been dragged into the world as fuel, but how could that be possible? Sunny had died with another and pulled them in tandem, that was the measly explanation that justified the world's changes. They came together.
How could another inject themselves into this parasitic place on their own? Did that mean...the dream world was continuing to attach to new hosts, waiting for them to rest their souls within forever?
Whoever it was, their suffering had made what was scary and sometimes dangerous into an expansive hell. Worse than before, what was once surreal and often unable to be put into words now had form, creating houses hosting creatures beyond observation, forming broken memories, all merging with those of Sunny and the others.
Hell.
Black Space had become a true hell, with only pockets of relief and bright surrealism. Stranger called them safe zones, but even those weren't completely secure. Whether it was other residents coming to hide or monsters making their way in while running from the red hands, Stranger found himself fleeing those after no more than a few days at most.
What was the point of surviving?
Stranger liked to pretend he had no purpose.
Those selfish wants wouldn't be acknowledged as he happened upon a sprawling, dense forest, his chest tightening while looking between the trunks. Flashes of blue and red made themselves known, and a thick smog, above the leaves and in the back, created an eerie atmosphere. It was scarily quiet.
Quiet meant no one was around.
Stranger took a breath and skulked forward, weaving between trees and stepping around bushes and branches. It was an overgrown forest, with random abandoned items strewn about, including arbitrary stone seats. It was nice of the location to produce resting spots…
But even if Stranger felt no eyes on him, it was too early to relax his guard. Step by step, Stranger continued, marking bark with sharpened fingers, nearly claws at this point. Leaves crinkled beneath his feet, and for a moment, he felt a chill breeze, causing him to abruptly still.
Wind?
That was especially dangerous. The forest itself was already too grounded, and having a sky made it even more so. Red hands enjoyed lurking in areas that mimicked the real world–the areas often housed memories, warped as they were. Even then, the red hands seemed to enjoy them. Stranger, once again, was not sure why. He never lingered long enough to observe what they did in the pockets of deformed nostalgia.
With a quiet grunt, Stranger continued, hoping to find an exit.
Unfortunately for him, a speck of red caught his eye, invoking a prickling sensation from head to toe. He whipped his head around, eyes narrowed to avoid casting two bright sources of light.
…That…what was that?
Not a red hand.
Stranger carefully inched behind a tree, checking the red spot periodically. It did not move. Next, he focused, tugging down his hood and listening. If there was a monster being subdued, he'd hear it.
And there…
What was that?
Weeping?
Stranger groaned internally. Was he about to be lured in by a figment of one of Sunny's friends? The best course of action was to ignore the sound and the sight. What could he do anyway? It was either a trap or a safe zone that would soon be invaded.
…Do I really have anything to lose?
Stranger walked directly toward danger.
When was the last time he had a conversation? That he did anything worthwhile?
Stranger had no real purpose.
Would helping a lost figment…really be so bad? If he ended up being torn apart by red hands, wasn't that a blessing in its own right? He was fooling himself, hoping for something that would endanger the separation of the surface and Black Space.
A fellow traveler made that clear to him after seeing his appearance, guessing who he'd try to find. It wasn't long after that Stranger gathered the materials for a shaggy cloak, disguising his form. He knew he looked like someone else. Trying to be by Sunny's side was foolish when he wasn't the real version.
The real…
Basil…?
The glowing wisps that were Stranger's eyes widened comically. His feet stayed planted on the wilted ground, watching a familiar boy, bright against the hell they were in, red flowers blooming from his being.
The weeping had been Basil.
This…couldn't be a figment.
It was that instinctive knowing–a knowing that he'd feel in his bones if he truly had them. Just as he looked into Omori's eyes all that time ago, seeing Sunny within, the authenticity of a soul stood out. Those outside of this world felt as such–ethereal, alive, natural.
Stranger crouched beside him, waiting to be noticed.
Basil continued to cry, red flowers sprouting from his tear ducts, obscuring one of his sclera. More flowers began wrapping around his head, an entire bouquet of differing kinds creeping up from below his sweater, escaping through his undershirt and sleeves. Petals fluttered to the ground, littering the colorless grass.
As Stranger is now, he would only frighten the other further, wouldn't he? Revealing that he was a distorted mirror wouldn't help…lowering the hood was too risky for now. Reaching out with clawed hands also wasn't wise. Was his voice really all he could rely on?
"Can you hear me?" Stranger rasped, hoping his voice wasn't too eerie. Immediately, Basil flinched with a loud hiccup, owlish blue eyes suddenly fixed on him. After a beat, his legs pushed into the ground, scrambling against the tree trunk he leaned on. The hands that were childishly wiping his eyes now wrapped around his middle, and red, spiked vines began to weave around his limbs, thriving in his distress.
Those looked sharp.
Stranger raised his arms in surrender, keeping his fingers bent, attempting to hide their faintly inhuman shape. "I'm not a danger to you." Stranger hoped that was comforting.
Given Basil's terrified, jittering eyes, it was clearly not.
"W–Who…" Basil stammered, irises darting around, head remaining fixed forward. "Are you a demon?" He then coughed up a red daisy. How quaint.
"I'm a shadow," was the best he could offer, gazing over Basil's state. Was his soul corrupted? Or were the flowers a part of Black Space? "You don't…belong here."
"…It's hell, isn't it?" His voice was small yet certain, speaking resolutely through his tears. "I do belong here."
"It's not…well, I suppose it's an afterlife now, but…" Stranger took a breath. How could he best explain this to someone who just died? That he got transferred to a dream world he'd never even been a part of? A world that happened to have an above and below? Basil seemed pretty content with the notion that he was in hell for whatever reason. "Regardless..." Stranger decided explaining now wasn't necessary. "You don't belong down here. You're supposed to be on the surface…in the light."
Basil's eyes narrowed, the blue gleam of his irises bizarrely distinct. "I'm pretty sure…I'm here for a reason, Mister Shadow."
"Stranger." He corrected, cringing at the polite title. They were basically the same age. "Call me Stranger."
After unfurling more, the plants growing out of his body finally slowing, falling to the ground, Basil tilted his head. "Isn't that kind of on the nose?"
Stranger extended a hand, still crouched. "Yes, it is, isn't it?"
Basil stayed wary, cautious of reaching out in turn. He was miserable moments before, surely in pain as the flowers weaved their way through his organs, yet still kept firmly planted on the wilted, dry ground.
"I'll get you out of here. I'll find a way for us–you to make it to the surface. Your…friends are waiting for you." Stranger figured that'd be the case, regardless of how Basil ended up here. Sunny's conflicted feelings about Basil should be resolved at least partially, not that Stranger had much of an idea of what led to their deaths besides Sunny remembering the truth.
It would make sense for Basil to follow…though it's a wonder why it took so long.
"W–What?" Basil's shoulders slacked, fidgeting with the hair that framed his face. "No, that–that can't be right, I don't deserve to…I don't deserve to see them. They're in heaven…"
"This is not a normal afterlife." Stranger kept his hand extended, waiting for Basil to take it. The sooner they left, the better. "Think of it as…an afterlife that contains levels. It's possible to travel between, but…" If he had a heart, it'd be thumping with anticipation. "I fear it would break the balance and leak dark into light. You, someone of light, being down here…I fear it'll blend the distinction between these spaces, allowing darkness to creep into where it doesn't belong."
"...What?" Basil was making the face a child would make when given incomprehensible new knowledge. Stranger sighed inwardly. Was it really that hard to understand? Was he overcomplicating it?
"I'm going to bring you to the surface because you being down here is dangerous. Your soul…could be destroyed." He wasn't entirely sure about that, considering the world was feeding off of him rather than actively consuming him. Still, believing that damage would eventually wear away at the soul, regardless of intent, wasn't a stretch.
"But I deserve to be here."
Stranger gave up on convincing the pitiful thing with zero self-worth, opting to reach forward and grab his hand–the one with a sunflower obscuring his palm–tugging them both to their feet forcefully. A couple petals and stems fell to the ground. "Whether you deserve it or not doesn't matter. Somewhere within you, there has to be a will to survive."
At Basil's blank, empty stare, Stranger regretted his thoughtless words. Thankfully, Basil didn't throw the obvious rebuttal at him, glancing at their connected hands. He didn't try to pull away, expression one of complete apathy.
Not caring at all, in its own right, was beneficial here. If Basil didn't care about himself and was aimless, Stranger could drag him just about anywhere. Stranger would clear up the details as they went, and hopefully, he'd be able to give Basil a mindset adjustment.
As long as Basil limply followed him, they would be…probably okay.
"Stay close. Keep your voice down and your steps quiet, and avoid staring into the eyes that open around here, be it from a person or within darkness. Most importantly…"
Stranger tugged Basil closer, sensing a shift in the air.
"Do not approach the red hands."
Basil didn't acknowledge those words.
He merely walked in tandem, head down, clutching the flowers that had grown into his hand, staring at the bulb of a tulip, and the rising form of a gladiolus.
*
Hero was acquainted with pain.
With grief, in particular.
It was common sense that after experiencing a loss so painful he lost himself to it, he should come back appreciating those he did have left. He should cherish those still around him, and ensure they never followed in the footsteps of the one he had lost before.
Still...nothing was more painful than heartbreak, Hero had decided.
Nothing could be more painful than losing Mari.
It was a firm belief Hero carried for years. It kept him from visiting her grave for far too long, kept him from opening up to others as easily, and kept him mourning even after that first year of rotting. It was an agony that haunted his dreams, a longing that would never be resolved. What could possibly be more painful than that?
There couldn't be anything worse.
Hero thought that, thought it clearly.
Thought it loudly as he stared at the pavement, at what remained of his brother.
Ah.
His family.
What...do I do?
Hero left for college. Hero didn't pay attention. Hero ignored reality. Hero justified his grief, lashed out at others, and never properly reconciled. Hero didn't spend more time with his brother when he had the chance. Hero assumed Kel would always be there. Hero never thought of the possibility that his brother could disappear.
Kel left with Sunny. He did what Hero had denied himself doing to be with Mari.
They were gone.
Blood was in his hands, cupped, held together. What was he holding? What was he seeing? Hero couldn't form words anymore, not thoughts, not anything human. Sounds escaped his mouth, he's certain, but his ears were ringing too loudly to know what was let out.
A cry? A scream?
…
A funeral?
Hero was holding flowers. Where did he get flowers?
How did he get here? Wasn't he in bed? Wasn't he lying down? Wasn't he at college?
Where was he?
Maybe he should just die. Maybe he should. He didn't want to be here. He was confused, lost, and couldn't find his way home. The bed he was resting in…couldn't be his own, because his bed let him lay on his side, staring across the room at his brother's sleeping form, snoring and loud.
He should hear the padding of Kel's heel–walking, the shuffling of dirty clothes, or the clanking of dishes he brought up without permission. He should hear music adjusted to a low volume, then louder when Hero didn't complain. He should hear the inaudible mumbles as Kel sat at his desk, rolling back and forth in his chair, distracted and click, click, clicking his mechanical pencil–one he chewed through the eraser of.
He should hear the loud chewing at the dining table and loud exclamations of the food being delicious, begging for more. He should be pestered in the morning as he made breakfast, popping bacon and sunny–side–up eggs and loading more onto his brother's plate. He should hear that cheery tone and feel a tug on his clothes, Kel urging him to play basketball together.
He should smell the court and the asphalt after rain, and see bright orange across from him, a ball springing against the ground, and then thrown toward him. An apology would follow, then an awkward chuckle, followed by whining as Hero roughed up his hair, praising how strong he'd gotten, how tall he'd grown.
Kel and him, back to back, with Sunny there, comparing their heights, lying, saying that Kel was taller. Kel, cheering, victorious, his bright grin lighting up the room.
He will never grow taller than me.
There should be a kid at his bedside, prodding him, annoying, unwanted, persistent as he wallowed and rotted in bed. Smiling, trying to make him mirror it, bringing his favorite foods, games, anything he could think of. Kel would poke and beg him to get up, over and over, until one day Hero finally would after snapping.
Hero would apologize profusely after traumatizing his little brother.
They would reconcile and be closer than ever before, not farther apart. Right, that's how it should've been.
They would confide in one another, rely on one another, and not try to solve problems independently. Hero wouldn't go to college and leave everyone behind. He would do his best to help, just like Kel would've done sooner if Hero hadn't told him he couldn't help anyone.
They would go to Sunny's house, bring him outside, and the sun would shine brighter. They'd find Aubrey, stay friendly, and never lose her to delinquency–or, befriend them as they did Aubrey. Finally, they would reconcile with Basil, monitoring his interactions with Sunny and determining the source of their fight before it could ever happen.
Sunny wouldn't move, and Kel wouldn't be sad.
Sunny wouldn't go, and Kel wouldn't chase him.
Sunny wouldn't leave.
Kel wouldn't follow.
Hero would still have his brother, his home.
What was the point? Wasn't losing Mari a lesson? One he thought that he'd learned from, a mistake he'd never make again? He vowed to never lose someone like that again–then he lost her brother to it.
He lost his own brother to it. Kel did what Hero never could and tried to save Sunny before it was too late. But it was too late.
It was always too late.
Kel, passionate, kind, impulsive, optimistic, irrational–
What was he thinking when he jumped off that roof? Had he thought at all? No, why would his brother spare a thought toward saving someone he cared about? He wasn't like Hero, who took things for granted–who lashed out at others unfairly or rotted away in misery.
Kel was someone who reached for the light, no matter what it took.
Even when the cost was his life.
…
Hero had become nothing again. Nobody attempted to get him up. Maybe his parents would've tried had they not known encouraging Hero to leave his bed would inevitably lead Hero to his death. At any motivation, any emotion, Hero would take his life. It was obvious.
The only thing keeping him alive was reminiscing about the past, thinking about Kel repeatedly, trying to keep him alive in his mind. He made sure to memorize his voice, his face, every part of him. His smile.
That bright smile.
Maybe if he focused on it more, the nightmares would stop.
Day after day, no longer could he escape waking hell in his dreams. They'd distorted, just as the real world did. Memories he cherished and preserved were being corrupted, morphing into gory depictions of his brother, of Sunny, of Mari.
After a particularly harsh nightmare shocked him out of bed, leaving him clammy and covered in sweat, he lurched to his feet, an act that would surprise him if he had any mind to feel anything but fear and disgust.
Hero crept out of that room with one goal in mind.
As painful as it was, the ofrenda's presence in the upper hall was a relief. Hero wasted no time rushing over, unsteady on his feet. He hugged himself, staring down at the photo of his brother, relaxing.
Kel was still here. Kel was smiling at him.
In some way, right? Watching over him–of course, Kel would. Kel was always like that, sticking to Hero even when Hero didn't deserve it. His parents may believe differently, but Hero was certain Kel wouldn't leave and only come to visit. Kel would stay by his side.
Right?
Did it…did it really matter? Was he deluding himself? Seeing the state Hero's in…
Would Kel blame him for wanting to follow? It would be kinder to die and free Kel from that responsibility. Hero's sure Sunny moved on quickly to find Mari, but Kel would linger. Hero…could set them both free.
They could all be together again.
"–no, no, we can't tell Hero."
…What?
Hearing his name made him turn slowly, his eyes sunken. He lowered himself to the ground, making sure he was out of view of the hall, and listened intently.
"But…but he was with them that day! All together as this sweet friend group…"
"That's all the more reason he cannot hear this right now, Polly."
"Miss, I understand you want to protect him, but–"
"If he hears that…"
Hero narrowed his eyes, unable to hear the rest of his mom's words. Tense, he clutched the railing by the stairs, leaning to hear more.
"She needs him, please! She has no one else to rely on! She–she's gone and it's not safe! What if she went home? Basil told me to protect her, but I don't know where she'd be! Hero would know, wouldn't he!? Weren't they close?"
"When they were little, but not anymore. Hero's been off at college…I don't think he'd be able to help."
"Please, can't I just ask? Please, I'm begging you. If I can't even fulfill Basil's wish, then what's the point? I…I already failed him…please…"
Hero stared at the ofrenda, at Kel.
It was a spiral in his chest, in his mind. It wasn't coherent. All that remained was a tangible rock in his throat, rolling down into his lungs and settling against his heart. There wasn't a breakdown. It wasn't a mind-numbing realization.
It was simply what it was.
Something horrible had happened.
...
"Last time…we made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most." Hero imagined his own words parroted by Kel's voice, the belief firm. "This time…we'll stay together."
Hero shot up to his feet, nearly passing out from the blood rush to his head.
"Won't we, bro?"
"Shit," Hero choked, then scrambled to run down the stairs. He nearly tumbled down the last few, skipping a couple in his shaggy pajamas and bursting into the living room. Polly's wide eyes landed on him, full of tears and melancholy. It transitioned into bright shock, then pure hope.
"Oh, it's you! It's you!" Polly pushed past his mom, too frantic to care about respect. She hurried and grabbed onto Hero's arm, ignoring his flinch. "Please, your friend, Aubrey–she's missing! After she found Basil and all the paramedics came–she said she was going home, but I asked around, found her house, knocked–I knocked, but she wasn't there!"
"Polly! Are you crazy!?" Hero's mom grabbed hold of her, yanking her back with fury. "This is not the time to be loading more stress on him–!"
"N–No. No, I…" Hero pushed out his voice, scratchy. It had only been a little more than a month, and his throat and body were already showing the strain withering away caused. "I need to help."
"Honey…" His mom, too, had tear tracks on her face. Hero only now witnessed the exhaustion in her eyes. There was a painstaking lack of light that made him nauseous. "Don't push yourself. Don't…don't worry about this, okay? Just go back to doing…what you want to do. Whatever you want, as long as it makes you feel okay."
His mom lost her son, just as he'd lost his brother. Seeing Hero rot in front of her was preferable to him doing it underground.
Hero understood that, understood why she was letting him become nothing again. Even she knew he was a breath away from dying, teetering on a ledge he would fall off the moment his memories stopped being enough.
But…
"I'm not there to get you out of bed this time, you know. At least not in person." Again, Hero produced Kel's voice in his mind, a lively tone that smiled at him, encouraging him. "C'mon, Hero! We gotta save our friend!"
It was pathetic. It was really pathetic that he couldn't bear his own thoughts, his own voice, himself. But Kel was different. His brother was different.
Hero didn't want to live, but Kel would want him to. Kel would've wanted them all happy together again–that was why he brought Sunny outside. It was Kel who defined that change, who saw it through to the end.
Kel was more of a man than Hero would ever be.
"Did Basil...die?" Hero croaked, hands twisting in the fabric of his nightshirt. Polly recoiled, glancing at his mother for permission. His mom's gaze dimmed further in complete hopelessness, slumped in defeat.
Guilt rose in Polly's glistening eyes. Still, she turned to Hero, resolute and desperate. "Yes, not long ago at all. Aubrey found him in the woods, and after that, she just…" She wiped her face, taking a breath. "She wasn't herself, but I was gonna take care of her, you know? Basil wanted that. But now…now she's gone! I've been looking and asking all over town, but nobody knows where she is!"
She returned to clutching Hero's clothes, near yanking him toward the door. "Please, Hero! Please tell me you know where she'd go!"
Shakily, Hero returned the hold, clamping his hands down on her shoulders to calm her down. "Have you checked the church?"
"N–No? Is that…somewhere she'd be?"
"Kel–" Hero swallowed, feeling a void split open beneath his feet, breaths picking up, smelling blood. Imagine Kel's smile. He's watching over him. Kel's here with him, in some way, in some form. "Kel said she started going there a lot after Mari died. Check there. I'll–I'll go to our old hangout spot." They had a nice picnic there after reuniting.
"Okay. Okay! O–Okay!" Polly frantically nodded, then fled out the front door. Hero was hot on her heels, not bothering to put his shoes on.
"Hero?" His mom's voice was barely a whisper, lashes trembling as she withheld tears. "Hero, are you okay?"
"I'm needed, Mom. I'll be–" Hero took a breath.
What was the truth?
"...I'll be back if I find Aubrey."
"Honey, please–"
Hero slammed the door behind himself, fleeing without another word. He couldn't let his mom stop him. He had the rising feeling he was on borrowed time, running along the sidewalk with sharp breaths, the air warm as the sun began to set–just like when we found Mari. Hero felt sweat beading down his head, exerting himself beyond his means.
"Keep going, bro!" Hero imagined Kel saying, latching onto memories of when they were younger. Hero was always the one out of shape. He hid it back when he was carrying Basil–he needed a long breather in the kitchen after carrying him all that way. He was exhausted.
Hero was exhausted now.
It was okay. He would run anyway. He hadn't felt this alive since that day at the hospital.
Please be okay, Hero repeated in his mind, hoping to manifest it. He ripped through overgrown shrubbery and weeds, weaving around keep-out signs. After a couple of awkward steps, he saw it.
Pink hair.
"Aubrey!" Hero called, not as loudly as he had hoped. He coughed, continuing forward, hand pushing back his shaggy hair, trying to get a clearer look. "Aubrey, it's me! Why are you–!"
Aubrey turned her head.
"Why…" Hero slowed, standing before the pier.
Aubrey blinked at him. "Why are you here?" Her words reflected his own, beating him to the punch. Her tone was flat, small, lacking any of the fire he'd heard before. "Go back. I don't want to be mean."
"Be…mean? Aubrey, it's…" Was she worried about lashing out in grief? As if he didn't know all about that. It's about time he's on the receiving end. "It's okay, Aubrey. You can be mean. I–I'm here for you." The words were prattled off, and he felt like he could feel Kel's hand on his shoulder, praising him for being there for her, for being mature and handling the situation.
"I can be mean?" Aubrey fully turned around, revealing her blood-soaked shirt. "Is that okay?" There was no change in tone. The words were said so innocently, no acknowledgment of the sight before Hero's eyes.
Thankfully, it didn't seem like her blood. Was that…something he should be thankful for? It wasn't…Basil's, at least, because the blood on her was fresh. What if it really was from an injury? "Are you hurt?" Hero managed to ask, terrified she had done something to herself.
Aubrey tilted her head. "No."
"Thank god…" Hero breathed out, slacking. "O–Okay, then, you can be as mean as you want, just get…get it all out of your system?" Hero had no idea what he was doing. Why was Aubrey even here? As soon as he had the thought, it became obvious she was avoiding people. Maybe she didn't want Polly to see her vulnerable.
"Are you sure?" Aubrey asked, eyes empty, arms limp at her sides. She looked like a haunted doll, a cruel thought Hero discarded.
"I'm sure. When I said we'd stick together this time…I–I meant…it." Hero said, a liar, nothing more than a dirty liar.
What together? Everyone was already dead.
Only they were left because Hero didn't bother to think about the implications of Kel and Sunny dying outside of his own grief. He made it all about himself again, like he made Mari's death, ultimately leading to Sunny's choice.
Isn't it obvious Basil would follow?
How could he not even attempt to prevent it? Now, the weight was left on Aubrey's shoulders. The poor girl had already been left a wreck because of Mari. He couldn't imagine how she felt losing Kel and Sunny. Now, with Basil…
"Okay."
Aubrey waved at him absently.
"Bye."
She leaned back and fell into the lake with a splash. The last thing Hero saw was her pink hair disappearing below the pier.
…
"Wow." Hero hadn't processed it. "Hey, isn't this like when Basil and Sunny fell into the lake?" Kel's conjured voice was comforting. "You were a real hero then! Aren't you going to save her now? You better be quick…if she drowns…"
I'll really die.
Hero dove after her, a familiar action. Thankfully, she hadn't fallen far, not bothering to flail her limbs or swim lower. Unfortunately, she must've breathed in on impact, eyes closed as she sank. He gathered her in his arms against the heavy water, pushing them both toward the surface with weighted legs.
We could just drown together.
…
What's the point, really?
Hero couldn't come up with anything, hovering in the lake.
If I save her now, won't she try to die again? Isn't it pointless? Didn't I already want to die? I can't be like Kel. I can't continue on. I'm not strong enough. I'm weak. I just want to see them all again. I can't do this anymore. I…
Aubrey's face was pale in the water.
What do I do?
…
"C'mon, Hero! What's up with you!? I thought you were gonna do a bunch of cool stuff when we grew up! I even got you that cookbook with Sunny! I wanted to see you become a chef because you were so happy cooking...and I loved eating it all, haha!"
It was the only way Hero could convince himself to swim.
"It's your turn to take care of other people, now. I didn't want to die…still! I don't regret it! I did it to save Sunny. It ended badly, but…you don't have to die like I did! You can be happy for both of us! You can live on, just like I wanted you to back then!"
How could he even hesitate for a moment? Hero hastily returned to shore, pulling Aubrey out of the water with a racing heart. Those seconds mattered. How could he do that!? How could he hesitate? What if he killed Aubrey by waiting? What if–
"Stop the spiraling, Hero!" Kel shouted, and Hero checked her pulse, sinking with relief. Unfortunately, her breaths were stuttering unpleasantly. He turned her on her side to see if she'd cough anything up.
She did not.
He needed to bring her to the hospital immediately. Hero refocused, hugging Aubrey close and lifting her like he had Basil in the past. He tried to walk steadily despite his exhaustion. If there was a time to push himself, it was now.
And for once, something in his life went right.
As Hero left the park, he saw Polly running toward them, expression morphing into…one of relief? Was it? Hero couldn't tell. His vision was blurring. He…was hearing sirens. Already? How did…oh.
His mom must have called after he left. That's…really smart, actually. Thank god for his mom. Thank god there was an ambulance.
Aubrey would be okay.
Darkness trickled in, and without fanfare, Hero dropped to the ground, falling awkwardly on his legs, making sure Aubrey was secure. If he was going to pass out, he wasn't going to let Aubrey hit her head.
That consideration was his last thought before the world spun, and he was out, slumping forward like a ragdoll.
*
Aubrey rolled her ankles below the thin hospital blanket, mind blank.
“–and I thought it’d be okay. Did I do something wrong? Is that why you left? Or was it just too painful to be there?” A pause. “Can you hear me, Aubrey…?”
She turned toward the sound, seeing a smear. She tilted her head.
“I was…I was so scared…”
Shaking hands cupped hers. Aubrey pulled back. There was a hiccup, followed by a deeper voice, one that was familiar. After some shuffling sounds, a new figure sat before her, taller.
“Hey, Aubrey…I…I don’t really know what to say to you besides the fact that you’re not alone, okay? You don’t…have to go back home or back to Basil’s house. I was…I was thinking of a new place to stay, you know? Somewhere…not in Faraway. My parents thought it’d help me...and maybe it’d help you, too. The city is a close drive, and, well…”
“I’d help too! Anything you two need. I can–I can help take care of everything. That’s what B–Basil wanted! Yes, that’s what he…” More crying. Aubrey covered her ears.
It was nice and quiet now.
The two spoke to one another, and then the smaller smear of cream colors left. The crying was gone. Aubrey lowered her hands, putting them beneath her legs to warm them up. Slowly, chirping noises drew her attention, and her eyes skimmed across tiled walls and floors–tiled–
No, was she outside, now?
Somewhere nice? She didn’t like…medicine smells. Didn’t like the bright rooms. Didn’t like all the people disappearing, and the blood, and…
It was warm, a colorful picnic blanket draped over her. The sun was…pleasantly shining on her face.
“Aubrey?”
She turned toward the figure.
“Are you…are you there? Can you see me?”
Aubrey blinked.
“Are you…willing to stay? Y–You know…alive? We can…we can do this together! That’s what our friends would’ve wanted…what Kel would’ve wanted. I’m sure we can do it. I mean…we have to, right?”
His face was clear now, smiling at her.
Was that a smile?
Weren’t smiles supposed to be happy?
“We’re the only ones left.”
Hero was smiling at her, sitting in the field with her.
What did he mean?
She had always been alone since she was a kid.
Alone in a pretty, open field, with flowers, little animals, and bright trees littering the horizon. It was safe, beautiful, and her home. That must be why Hero was visiting. Since he was, he must be a safe person.
“Aubrey?”
She nodded at him. His smile became…better. Warmer. Tired.
“Okay…we can…we’ll figure this out. One day at a time, alright?”
Aubrey stared at the windflowers blooming a short distance away.
“Just one day at a time...”
