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The warm light of the sun had faded long ago, welcoming in a gentle winter breeze as the streetlights of Hometown flickered on to light the way for any late-night wanderer to find their path home. A particular house stood out, through the falling snow and icy ponds. Down the gravel path and past a well-kept garden lay an enormous manor. Each corner was full of varied and colorful decorations, baubles, sleighs and most notably, a light display so brilliant it was almost hard to look at. And though its many rooms and halls were used to echo in silence, her room was unusually populated that night.
A friend she had snuck in, who needed someone to listen to his many woes and troubles in the dead of night. Muffled screams of teenage agony accompanied by hearty laughs and whines.
“UGH, THIS SUCKS!!” Cried out Asriel lying in bed, his voice muffled by the pillow pressed against his bashful face. “I should have never played that STUPID bottle game!! What was I thinking…”
For a moment, the boy paused his lament as his gaze turned towards his companion in frustration. Despite her sitting on the ground, he could tell exactly what the expression she was trying to hide was like. Quiet, yet distinct snickering could be heard under her breath, shaky and unstable as if a dam was about to bust open. “...And STOP LAUGHING about it, Dess!!” Asriel shouted, his voice hitting a humorous high key.
The girl erupted in laughter, clutching her sides and trying her best to regain her composure with tears in her eyes. Asriel couldn’t do anything but groan and beg for her to take things seriously. The implication of the poor boy’s situation being at all serious however, only seemed to further add fuel to the fire that was Dess’ laughing fit.
“Fehehehe, OKAY, okay, just… Just gimme a sec.” She stumbled out between gasps for air and chuckles. With a shaky deep breath and a trembling lip she continued. “ So let me get this straight. You agreed… to play spin the bottle. With gator-breath and pizza guy-”
“He has a name…” Asriel hurriedly added.
“POINT IS: Didja even know what you signed up for? It’s like a recipe for disaster off the bat, dude.”
“Ugh, I know…” He groaned, resting his chin on his hands. “Don’t even get me started on Mom, either…”
Dess’ eyes widened with devilish curiosity. “Oh~? What about her?”
“She kind of… walked in.” He buried his face on the pillow so firmly, only murmurs could slip past. “Just as Bratty kissed me…”
As the words left his mouth, he could feel just how badly his friend was holding back. With a defeated sigh, he openly accepted his fate just as Dess failed to resist any longer, her loud laughter bouncing around the walls of the room like a tennis ball. Even the pillow Asriel tossed at her in response couldn't manage to silence her. However, in between breaks for air, she couldn’t help but notice her friend’s genuine concern over the little drama that he was whining about.
“Heh, c’mon dude, lighten up a little!” She chuckled, playfully bumping Asriel with her elbow. “All of that crap was hilarious, just own it!”
“It’s important to me, Dess, seriously!” He blurted out with an awkward, yet stern look on his face that caused the deer to freeze up; recognizing her teasing had gone a bit far.
“...Sorry, Azzy.”
The boy had curled up on the edge of the bed, clutching another pillow as if seeking for any form of comfort. Dess stood up and sat on the bed a fair distance away from Asriel, her visible eye not obscured by her hair darted around as if carefully picking her next words. With the mood settled down, she took her first stab in the dark.
“Is… Is it ‘bout your mom?”
“Wha…? No, not really.” He added with a quiet chuckle, easing up a little. “Worst she can do is take me to church every day for it.”
Not a great start, Dess thought to herself, but he started smiling a bit.
“I know it sounds stupid, but… I guess I’m just disappointed that I wasted it. The first kiss.”
Dess pinched herself, fighting off every instinct she had to joke about it to defuse the tension. Thankfully, her confusion over what her friend had just said far outweighed her knee-jerk reaction to make jokes. “First… huh?”
Asriel turned to face her, about as puzzled as she was, fully expecting her to understand the gravity of the situation.
“THE first kiss?!” he repeated, as if that explained anything. “Y-Y’know, like… The very foundation that you’re gonna compare it to for all future relationships? It’s super meaningful!!”
A chortle slipped past the deer’s facade. “That’s… totally not a thing, dude.”
The boy scoffed, flustered, and snapped back. “IT TOTALLY IS!! And from now on, that stupid bottle game is gonna haunt my relationships - forever!!”
Perhaps the drama classes had begun to get to him, Dess pondered.
“It’s really not that big of a deal, Azzy. It’s just a kiss. It means nothing.”
Despite Dess trying to defuse the situation, calling into question the meaning of that accursed kiss blew up on her face quickly. Asriel’s eyes widened in shock as he finally let go of the pillow he was clutching onto. He glared, seemingly offended, at the confused deer girl and began ranting uncontrollably. By complete accident, she had managed to set Asriel off into a spiral of barely coherent squabbles, that more so talked about his own insecurities in relationships rather than any truly meaningful concerns.
“...A-And what if I mess it up? Do I just try again or is the moment gone?? What if I date someone with a long snout, or-or a short one?! What if they uh, they don’t have a mouth?? How do you even…”
Despite his shrieks and moans, it all rang deaf on Dess’ ears. Her eyes half closed, barely listening to his rambles of wildly inconsistent importance. That was until a thought crossed her migraine-nearing mind. She slowly turned to look at her friend, still in his own little world of insanity flailing his arms around. She inched closer and closer, until she was right next to him. Her focus was dead set on his face, waiting for an opening.
In a flash, Dess clutched Asriel’s thrashing hands and held them tightly on her own, for once getting his attention. As if finally winding down from his own drivel, Asriel realized just how close Dess had gotten to him; almost as if he forgot that she was, in fact, still sitting right next to him.
Before any words could escape him, his mouth was sealed shut by Dess’ lips pressing against his own.
Immediately, all the loud noise in his head was suddenly snuffed out.
A split second that felt like ages. His body felt weirdly relaxed.
Almost as if any weight he carried disappeared, for even one brief moment.
However, just as his mind began to process what had just happened, she pulled away from him.
“See?” Dess remarked, doing her best to look away from him. “ Means nothing. ”
Such a quick, hollow dismissal of her move left a bitter taste in an otherwise sweet moment for Asriel. “There’s no way she meant that, right? Why else would she have done that?”, he thought to himself. But as the questions kept coming, and his flustered, overwhelmed emotions began to draw upon his red-hot face, Asriel couldn’t help but externalize his deeply complex feelings over what had just happened, and how he truly felt about the girl sitting right next to him.
Poorly.
“I… Wh-What the heck WAS that?!”
“Told ya. It’s nothing. ”
“ THAT WASN’T NOTHING! I’ve SEEN nothing and that WAS NOT nothing-” As the words left his mouth, Asriel could see the tell-tale sign on Dess’ grin that he had just said something particularly stupid.
“Fehe. You’ve seen nothing?” Dess sarcastically responded. “Didn't know you super-nerds could see what doesn't exist.”
“That’s not what I MEANT and you KNOW that, Dess!”
As the two continued to bicker, time flew by as the laughter and teasing eased all the tension of the moment. From playful jokes, to reminiscing on old memories together, the two flowed from one topic to another like an intricate dance on an ice rink. Soon enough, it felt like they had both forgotten about everything else around them, the room itself fading into the background leaving the two in a quiet, intimate moment on that cold night.
“...which reminds me, I gotta get myself a new wiffle bat. ‘Cause a certain SOMEONE kept scaring Elly!”
“Ah, you know Kris.” Asriel smiled, thinking back on all the various pranks his sibling liked to play on Dess’ sister. “You think they keep teasing Noelle for any reason, or…?”
“Psh, nah, doubt it. I tease YOU for funsies too.” Perhaps it was his imagination, but Dess’ face seemed to warm up all of a sudden.
With a shared sigh of relief, the two lied in wait for the next topic to arrive. However, this small moment of quiet felt comfortable enough to simply let it linger, at least for a little while. Akin to the relaxing silence after a party’s over, and all the guests had gone home, leaving only the subtle humming of the radio in the background. It was a while before any of the two spoke again.
“...So?” Dess quietly asked. “Still thinkin’ about gator-breath?”
Asriel paused for a moment. His eyebrows lowered, trying to focus on remembering something he had once deemed important. His eyes met with Dess', who was awaiting the answer she already knew with a soft yet confident smile.
“...No.” He muttered. “Not really, heh.”
She lied against the wall, arms tucked behind her neck. “Told ya, dude. Means nothing.”
Asriel couldn’t help but notice her smile fade away as those last words drifted off, her voice quietly trembling. An awkward note to end on, an off-key strung in an otherwise perfect song. Asriel couldn’t match her gaze, as it had once again been obscured by her hair, perhaps hiding something she wasn’t ready to unpack yet. An idea sparked.
“Well…” he began, definitely hamming it up and failing to conceal his scheming. “There IS something that’s still bothering me.”
Dess, overtly curious over where he was going, lifted her face and willingly took the bait.
“...Yeah? What is it?” She muttered, before suddenly being cut short.
Her eyes widened. Her ears shot up.
A wild hurricane of noise and emotions swirled up in the girl’s heart, like a free-style drummer airing out their frustration on the instrument.
She tensed up, completely losing touch with time.
Her mind racing as her best friend used her own tactics against her, now feeling the warmth of his closeness shutting her up the same way she did to him.
Reluctantly, she pushed him away, laughing.
“The hell was THAT for, Azzy?” Dess quickly asked, refusing to let the boy look at her face.
“Because sneak attacks are unfair, Dess!” Asriel answered playfully, beaming. “Now we’re even!”
Despite his playful tone, Dess couldn't bring herself to say anything back. Despite his attempt to cheer her up, Asriel realized he might have just made things more difficult by accident. Perhaps it was best not to pry any further, as the girl seemed to retreat into herself, deep in thought. He couldn’t quite figure out how bad things had gone, but he preferred to give her some space so as to not make it worse than it probably already was.
What a disaster, he thought to himself.
“...Sorry, Dess.” It might have just been his imagination, but he felt her ears perk up. “Guess I’m still pretty bad at this, hehe.”
“F-Fehe...” Her quiet chuckle could be heard.
Despite still not being able to look at her eyes, he could see a soft smile peeking out of the corner of her mouth. After somehow salvaging that messy moment, Asriel took this as his cue to leave.
“Thanks for putting up with my nonsense, Dess. I’ll uh… get out of your hair now.”
However, as he stood up and faced the door to leave, something stopped him in his tracks. Almost imperceptible, yet somehow potent enough to make him turn back.
A tug on the cuff of his wrist. Her shaky hand adorned with jet black nails held him in place, her fingers trembling as she latched onto the tiny bit of cloth she had managed to grab. She finally glared back at him. Both of her velvet eyes glistened in between her locks of rosy streaks and cocoa brown. Such a nervous, yet tender look. An expression reserved for him and no one else.
“I wouldn’t mind… Giving you a few pointers.” Dess whispered, her eyes failing to hold her stare. She paused, as her friend stood still in disbelief, before she snarkily remarked “...you kinda suck at it, dude.”
Asriel bashfully obliged. The two nervous wrecks sat closer together side by side on the floor next to Dess’ bed, fidgeting around trying to sit comfortably in one of the many pillows that had landed on the ground.
Everything felt sensitive, from the fuzzy carpet floor to the tiniest accidental brush of their hands against each other. An awkward silence crushed their anxious minds, the pressure of the moment scaling faster and faster. However, the pair managed to compose themselves by sharing slow, deep breaths. Gradually, their eyes met once more. Their hands carefully caressing the other, as their fingers naturally slid together into a warm embrace.
“It’s all about… going with the flow.” Dess whispered, almost unsure of whom that suggestion was aimed towards.
Mere inches away from each other now, their eyes closed.
Their muscles relaxed.
The room ceased to exist.
A cacophony of silence.
For a moment, it was as if the earth itself had stopped spinning, as the two shared this tender moment of stillness.
They could feel their faces flare up, their hands carefully slipping past behind their necks to softly hold themselves closer to each other.
Sometimes, one of them would pull the other in.
Sometimes, one of them would push themselves against the other.
Every so often their snouts would awkwardly crash against each other and they’d struggle to readjust, a break to breathe or chuckle quietly in response.
It was clumsy.
It was messy.
But it was honest.
Their lips finally pulled away for good, the empty space between them now filled with their arms outstretched, hands resting on their opposite shoulders. Opening their eyes, absorbing this delicate moment and reconnecting with the world they had temporarily escaped from… All they could do was laugh.
There was no mockery, no irony or sarcasm, but instead the blissful joy of their shared inexperience clashing against one another. All the tension had simply… faded away.
Soon enough they found themselves relaxed in each other’s presence. Dess’ head rested peacefully on Asriel’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around her back, holding her closer for warmth. Their breathing softly in sync, a quiet harmony tied together by their hands in unison. He glanced at his partner with a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.
“Are you… okay with this, Dess?” He questioned, suddenly. Not long after, he felt a soft punch playfully hitting his chest.
“Course I am, you dork.” She answered unabashedly, her smirk reinforcing how she felt. “You ain’t getting rid of me easily, choir boy.”
Asriel breathed a sigh of relief. “No way, I’d be an idiot if I got rid of such an awesome girl I just kissed!”
Those last few words caused Dess’ ears to perk up. She pulled away from the cuddle to shoot a sassy glare at her partner. “Pretty sure that was MY kiss, Azzy” she insisted. “I totally kicked your ass there.”
“Wha- C-Come on, are you for real, Dess?” Asriel blurted out, caught off guard and unsure of how serious she was being. “I did my best, that’s not fair! L-Look, if you wanna start counting, then let’s start from zero so we’re tied!”
A devilish grin spread across the deer girl’s face. “Oh Azzy, you know I don’t like to tie…” She swiftly grabbed his wrists, lunging towards him like a hunter who found its prey. Pinning him to the ground, she refused to ease up her grip while her overly flustered friend lay frozen underneath her in a trance. Dess crawled dangerously close to his face, whispering the final blow into his ear:
“I like to win. ”
Her hands loosened their grasp on his shaky arms, slithering past his fluffy long ears to cup his face, holding an unbreakable eye contact. She confidently pulled Asriel’s face towards her own, ready to show her newfound partner who the real boss was. However, just as their eyes closed inches away from each other’s lips, a sudden knock on the door would abruptly shock them out of their reverie. The pair fumbled around trying to get back up from their nonsense and regain their focus as the second knock hurried them along.
“O-ONE SEC!!” Dess managed to shriek out, her eyes quickly darting towards Asriel, ordering him under her breath. “Hide in the closet, dude! If it’s mom, we’re BOTH dead!!”
Rightfully terrified of the possibility of having to explain to Carol of all people what he was doing with her daughter caused Asriel to shoot off into the closet in record time, although Dess’ general lack of care in keeping said closet organized made it a little harder than necessary. Before answering the knocking on the door, Dess readjusted her loose jacket and brushed her hands across her hair, as if that could fool the icy glare of her judgmental mother. With bated breath, she slowly turned the knob on the door as a loud creak revealed a small opening in which she could spy through to double-check who had been knocking all along. Bracing herself for the worst, she swung the door open, letting the lights of the hallway pierce through the comfy darkness of her room.
“...Oh. It’s just you, Elly.” Dess sighed in relief, her heartbeat slowing down upon recognizing her little sister. However, as her eyes properly readjusted to the light, she recognized an unfortunately familiar frown on Noelle. “W-What’s wrong, sis?”
“Um… Mom just called and…” The little deer fidgeted, a mix of disappointment and sorrow blatantly scattered across her face. “...She’s not gonna be here for dinner. And um, dad’s still at work, too…” Her gaze plummeted to the ground, her tiny hands instinctively tugging at her own sleeves to put herself at ease. Her voice wavered, the message she was meant to deliver clearly didn’t end there, but it was obvious she was giving herself breathing room to retain her composure.
“...of course.” Dess groaned under her breath, looking into the distance. Without a second thought, she kneeled down to Noelle, shrinking to her size for a moment. She softly cupped the little girl’s face, wiping away some tears with her thumb.
“Hey, cheer up, Elly.” She kindly reassured her with a warm smile. “I’ll be with ya in a minute, so go set the table and we’ll cook something together, okay?”
Noelle sniffled. “C-Can we… can we make the…”
Dess chuckled, recognizing what her sister was asking for. “Your favorite, of course. With extra cinnamon on top.” She winked, eager to spoil her sister a bit now that their parents weren’t home.
The little angel’s expression flipped completely, with wide eyes and mouth agape she jumped for joy on her big sister’s arms for a tight hug with her tiny arms. A flurry of thank yous and nuzzles assaulted Dess, making her lose balance and responding with a devilish noogie of her own, causing the sisters to share a much needed laugh. As they got up and started to go their separate ways however, Noelle stopped in her tracks and turned, wearing a puzzled look on her face.
“Oh, um, Dess? I forgot to ask something.”
Leaning up against the doorframe, Dess responded casually. “Oh yeah? Shoot.”
“Is Azzy staying for dinner, too?”
As if an earthquake had suddenly struck, Dess’ balance immediately became uneven, her knees buckling in response to the abrupt question. By some miracle, she managed to avoid losing her composure somewhat, coughing awkwardly as she struggled to come up with responses for the curve-ball that had just hit her square in the face. She hurriedly snapped back to her previous pose, trying her absolute best to hide the obvious.
“W-W-What are ya talkin’ about, Elly?? A-Azzy ain’t here! H-He’s got uh…” She paused, as her brain flipped through the many possible alibis for the nerd she was hiding in her room. “S-Studies. Studies to get to, y-yeah. He’s got a uh… A test. Tomorrow. Yeah.”
“...On a Saturday?” Noelle replied, a soft smirk starting to reveal itself.
“L-Look, the table isn’t gonna set itself, Elly!!” Dess hurried her along, hoping to make her drop the subject.
The little deer chuckled. “Fahaha, fine! I’ll go.” She began skipping down the hallway, giving her sis a brief moment of calm…
Before she pitched a fastball Dess couldn’t have ever hoped to catch.
“Weird that you’re wearing that perfume he loves, though.” Noelle giggled, as she quickly fled the scene.
The young girl’s heart sank. Her whole body jolted in response to her well-kept secret being shouted out in the open. “E-ELLY!!” Was all she could muster screaming, completely frozen in shock by her little sister’s playful betrayal. Dess groaned in embarrassment, hitting her head against the doorframe trying to hide away the burning feeling on her face and ears. If there truly was an Angel out there listening, she begged for it to take her away right that moment.
But perhaps there was a silver lining to it all, maybe she’d be lucky enough to keep that under wraps. She hoped that her little crush hadn’t heard such a blatant proof of affection.
Hopes that were quickly dashed as soon as she heard some very familiar snickering behind her.
“ONE WORD OF THIS AND I’LL END YOU, DREEMURR.” Dess bashfully threatened Asriel, her face boiling red.
The snowfall had finally begun to ease up, though the cold winds still blew strong. Asriel began to put back on layer after layer of his winter clothes, despite the walk back home being a relatively short one. By the end, it was impressive he could even move, a feat Dess wasted no time in making fun of him for. As they stood outside on the porch, however, something felt… off. The two were not strangers to this exact scenario, far from it. Sometimes it’d be him walking back home, sometimes it’d be her. Every so often they’d walk together and end up somewhere else.
They’d always just say goodbye and be on their way.
So why was it so hard now?
Why could neither of them bring themselves to say it?
Why did it… hurt?
“Azzy, you um…” Dess nervously began. “...sure you don’t wanna stay over for dinner? Not like Elly didn’t notice you, fehe.” She joked, hoping to alleviate the tension while looking off into the distance to avoid eye contact.
Asriel stood still in thought for a moment, carefully considering what to do or say. “...Nah, it’s okay.” He replied, scratching the back of his head. “It’s only a matter of time before Mom starts hounding me on the phone asking where I am.” Despite being a genuine concern, he delivered it with enough levity to match Dess’ humor.
“But,” he added, catching her attention. “Maybe we can… grab a bite tomorrow? At the diner, my treat.”
The girl’s gaze lifted to reconnect with her partner’s own, a million thoughts crossing through her mind. In a knee-jerk reaction, she chuckled with a flustered grin. “Fehe, your treat huh? What do ya mean by that, choir boy?”
Turning around to leave, but with a visible cocky smirk on his face and an obvious wink, he answered “ Nothing. Just thought it’d be fun, right?”
Dess could tell that Asriel was mentally high-fiving himself for that one, so much so that he awkwardly stood still and forgot he was meant to leave after delivering his line. Holding back her overwhelming need to laugh at his dorky behavior, she gave him a break and answered truthfully. “Sure thing, dude. See ya tomorrow then, Azzy.”
As if somehow impressed that his silly plan worked out, Asriel turned back to face Dess. His heart skipped a beat. The way she looked at him felt warmer than his many layers of cloth. Her smile was soft, yet as radiant as the sunrise. Despite all of their ups and downs, playful teasing and the likes, he knew that whatever he was feeling right then and there... he couldn't bear to leave things here. Just as Dess was closing the door, his body moved on its own.
“Ah- Dess, I think I forgot something...” he uttered, sprinting back to the porch.
Confused, Dess walked back out of the door with her guard down. “But you didn’t bring any-”
One final sneak attack.
She felt a soft, playful peck on the side of her face.
And just as quickly as he had struck, he leapt away from the flustered girl and made his final declaration of victory.
“... MY win!”
“H-HEY! That’s a low blow, Dreemurr!! You’ll see tomorrow, it's OVER for you!!” Dess blurted out, a mix of delight and annoyance that almost fell on deaf ears, as her partner had already faded into the darkness of the night, giggling to himself like a kid. A laugh so contagious, she couldn't help but echo it.
Just as quickly as he left, the night fell silent once more, only the gentle breeze remaining. Dess stood there quietly, for once at peace with no judging eyes on her. Her fingers slowly rubbed against the part of her face that only moments earlier had been caressed by her childhood friend, already reminiscing on the feeling.
The more she thought about it, the warmer her heart felt.
The faster it would beat.
The easier she found it to smile.
...And the harder it was to pretend it all meant nothing to her.