Chapter Text
Unfortunately, things like "logistics" and "not wanting to be arrested" meant they had to ditch the stolen tank once they got to civilization. It got them far enough that Girlfriend was able to call in a ride for the rest of the trip home; her parents were falling over themselves apologizing for getting her caught in the middle of the mess, and while she was grateful for their concern it rang hollow knowing how the mess happened in the first place. She decided to keep Boyfriend's survival a surprise for the time being. The imp driver was a little caught off guard to see her shove the very tired rapper and very bloody hitman into the limo, but all of her mother's henchmen knew to not ask questions.
Going home to Girlfriend's mansion was out of the question with her lugging them around, so they crashed at Boyfriend's place. Pico was uncomfortable at the prospect, but at that point the adrenaline had worn off and Boyfriend didn't care about his reservations. Keith would like the day to be over now, please.
"Seriously, I shouldn't—"
"Pico." Keith drops the first-aid kit onto the bathroom counter with a loud sound that makes both of them flinch. He tries to keep his face and voice serious. "It's fine. Just… let me fix you up. Please."
Pico rolls his eyes with a scowl, but pulls his shirt up so Keith can assess the damage. It's not bad by his standards, but it makes Keith wince and inhale through his teeth. Nothing vital, but he got grazed by some stray shots and there's nasty bruises where things got physical. "Don't make a big deal of it," he mutters.
"I'm not making a big deal of it, Pico! You got shot!"
"Fuck's sake, Key, gimme that." Pico leans over to grab the first-aid kit. The room goes quiet. Pico looks up to see Keith staring at him with wide eyes. "…What?"
Boyfriend flushes. He scrabbles about for something to say that isn't in the ballpark of what's actually on his mind. "Uh- D- Do you want some Gatorade or something?"
"What?"
Smooth, Blue teases. Keith hits him in what might be a kidney if he even has one of those. It gets the intended effect of knocking Blue down and giving him a little room to breathe. He can deal with his personal demons later when his ex isn't shirtless and bleeding— wait where did Pico's shirt go
By the time Girlfriend checks in on them, Pico's been patched up to the best of their combined ability. Boyfriend's not a street medic by any means, but he's picked up some things along the way that sped up the process. Pico's never been a fan of hospitals, anyway. He's not about to try and push the issue when the hitman just got done being a one-man army. Instead, he slings one of Pico's arms over his shoulder and guides him over to the couch. As is the case with most things Keith does, Pico's not jazzed about it. "I can walk—"
"You look bad," Girlfriend says plainly. "That's why they're worrying about you so much."
That gets Pico to shut up. Keith ignores Cam's impulse to drop him and makes sure he's sitting comfortably before ragdolling to the floor with a loud groan of exhaustion. Everything is sore. The combination of physical pain from their crash landing, intense stress from the latest near-death experience, and general tiredness from the latest battle has taken a lot out of him, and now that they're home safe and sound he's about ready to check out for the next week.
Boyfriend blinks as Girlfriend's face comes into view. She tucks her hair behind her ear as she leans over him. "Do you need to rest, baby?"
Rest sounds very good right now. Keith doesn't resist as he's pulled out of front and their autopilot takes over. "Yeah," Evan says. Pico raises an eyebrow. "I can keep us running, but our battery's pretty low… Sorry, Girlfriend."
"Okay, seriously, how many of ya are there now?" Pico's snarky question derails any reply Girlfriend might've had. Boyfriend blanches. "Last I knew, Cam still ain't the type to talk. What's your deal, squeaky?"
Girlfriend helps Boyfriend sit up. Her eternal friendly mood helps distract from the fact that her partner looks about ready to crumple like wet tissue paper. "This is Evan!" she chirps. "They're a robot that showed up after we got stuck in a haunted video game."
Pico blinks. Evan can see the gears turning as he works out what he could possibly say in response to that. After further consideration, Pico lies down on the couch and rolls over with his back to them. Yeah, fair.
"So… What now?"
The question hangs in the air. Evan taps their fingers together. The rest of the BFs exchange glances as they consider the question; they're not the type to think about the future too hard, and they're certainly not in the state to plan their next move or anything. Sleep? Cam suggests. Scroll Twitter?
Can't, Blake groans. You got us banned, remember?
Keith scrubs at his face with a tired sigh. Not the time, guys. He's down for Cam's first suggestion, though. Sleep sounds nice. He would very much like to sleep. Evan can handle things while they're in quote-unquote "low power mode", and then they'll take it one day at a time like always. They don't need a big crazy plan, they just gotta ride the train from destination to destination.
Girlfriend pulls Boyfriend into a side hug. Evan curls into the contact. "Whatever we want!" she chirps. "We've totally earned a break, right? And we're all alright! —Okay, besides Pico, but—"
"I'm fine," Pico grouses. "I'm not gonna drop dead, Jesus." He adjusts his position enough to squint over his shoulder. "It's you guys I'm worried about. Somebody still wants ya dead, babe. Ya gotta keep your head down or you're not gonna have one."
Blue scoffs. Evan passes it along: "You know us, that's not gonna happen." They laugh nervously as they rub the back of their neck. "We're always getting into trouble n' having stuff happen to us, that's- that's gonna keep being a thing forever."
It's true, though. They've spent most of their life coasting by, but ever since meeting Girlfriend it's been one thing after another. Boyfriend's jumping into things headfirst, rolling with the punches, keeping up momentum and aiming for the highest heights. They're not gonna slow down for anything, even though they probably should. Blue's made his point plenty of times, though: they've made it through everything else so far, so they may as well keep going.
For a minute, Evan thinks Pico's gone back to ignoring them. Then the silence is broken by a low, tired groan. "Guess I gotta keep an eye on ya, then," he mutters into his arm. "Pain in the ass."
Girlfriend giggles. Evan feels Keith's soft smile of relief from somewhere in the back. Maybe the path they're going down is a hard one, but they've got people they can fall back on both inside and outside. Boyfriend's never on his own.
Cam's been unusually quiet. Evan figures out why soon enough; he's been doing this newfangled thing called "thinking", and he shoves his way in to narrow his eyes at Pico's back. "B'wee da oo bap?"
His question makes Girlfriend pause. Pico scrunches up as another pair of eyes scrutinize him. "That's… a good point," she says. "How did you know to come save us?"
Pico doesn't answer. Cam doesn't like that he's not answering. Look, he's not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything, especially when the horse saved him from a bullet between the eyes, but this is weird, right? First time they see Pico in years is him showing up trying to kill them, then he acted weird about Boyfriend wanting to meet up with Darnell, now he just magically shows up to save their ass when they're in the middle of the fucking desert? Look, that tank ride had been long. It's not like Pico was taking a casual stroll and just happened to run into them. Something's up.
It's Cam's turn to be shoved aside. Boyfriend shakes his head. "Whatever," Blake says. "I'm just glad you're here, Peeks. Man, I don't wanna even think about what woulda happened if y'didn't drop in."
Somehow, that seems to make Pico even more uncomfortable. Cam crosses his arms. He's about ready to make a bid for front again when Blue scruffs him so Blake can pass the baton back to Evan. Later, Blue whispers. We can figure this out later. That doesn't stop Cam's squirming, but it does stop him from trying to bite.
Girlfriend sighs. "Sorry this keeps happening." Her shoulders sag. "I know my parents are protective and all, but I didn't know it was gonna be this bad…" She really should've. Her parents are the type to hold grudges, Daddy Dearest especially, and it was rare for her relationships to last this long. That's not counting all the other horrors piling up thanks to them being magnets for trouble.
But, hey, love's never easy. All the trials they've been through together have only made their bond stronger. Boyfriend meets her eyes with a warm smile that makes her heart flutter. "It's okay," Evan says. The rest chime in with their agreements. They take her hand in theirs and squeeze it gently.
They say what they're all thinking: "We'd do anything for you." They mean it.