Chapter Text
In an instant, Subaru halted, his sudden stop tugging Emilia, who was leading him by the hand through the endless forest.
She turned quickly, her amethyst eyes clouded with concern, not just for the pause but for Subaru himself—his unstable mental state, held together only by her presence.
“Subaru, what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice trembling with worry.
Subaru stood frozen, lost in thought, his gaze fixed on the ground. He was wrestling with something deep, something he feared to voice.
The terror that Emilia, too, might betray him—might become another liar in a world full of them—gnawed at his heart. He struggled to gather the courage to speak, his vision blurring as Emilia’s vibrant figure began to lose its color, fading into the monochrome gray that plagued him.
He wavered between trusting the half-elf who had become his lifeline and the paralyzing fear that she could abandon him.
“Emilia-tan… it’s nothing,” he mumbled, forcing a weak smile. “I just… wanted to say you’re really beautiful, that’s all.”
The lie tasted bitter, a clumsy attempt to dodge the truth.
He couldn’t bring himself to confess his fear, to risk pushing away the one person he cherished most. But his words lacked conviction, and his anger and fear surged, betraying his.
Emilia saw through him, her heart aching at his struggle. She couldn’t bear the thought that he was hiding from her, pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Without a word, she stepped closer, so close their breaths mingled, and took his trembling hands in hers.
“Subaru, I’m serious,” she said, her voice steady but pleading. “What’s really bothering you? Tell me. No matter what you say, I won’t leave you. I’ll help you, support you—always.”
Her expression softened with sadness as she realized he didn’t fully trust her. Silently, she pressed her face against his chest, her quiet sorrow urging him to open up.
Subaru’s breath hitched, and after a moment, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “You know, Emilia-tan,” he whispered, his voice shaking, “I might just fall in love with you like this. But… honestly, I’m scared. Scared you’ll betray me, leave .” He couldn’t finish, his words cut off by the tightening in his throat.
Emilia hugged him tighter, almost fiercely, as if to silence his fears.
“Subaru, you idiot!” she cried, her voice breaking with hurt. “How could you think I’d abandon you? I left everything behind and swore to help you!”.
Subaru’s eyes welled with tears. “I’m sorry, Emilia-tan, please forgive me,” he choked out. “I do trust you, honestly. You’re the only one who’s been kind to me, who hasn’t betrayed me. You never would. And… I think of you as my family.” The confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable, followed by an awkward silence.
Emilia’s eyes widened, then softened. “Y-Yes, Subaru,” she said, her voice trembling with warmth. “You, me, and Puck—we’re a little family. We’ll always be together, helping each other.” She didn’t fully grasp what he meant by “family,” but her words were earnest, a promise that eased his heart.
Subaru swallowed, relieved she hadn’t understood the deeper implication of his words. As they held each other, the last embers of his anger and fear began to fade, replaced by something new—something alive, peaceful, free of the dread that had gripped him.
The embrace lingered. Neither Subaru nor Emilia dared to let go, as if breaking it would shatter the fragile comfort they both so desperately needed.
Emilia felt a strange warmth blooming in her chest as Subaru held her—a quiet joy she couldn’t quite name.
Maybe it was love, though she didn’t understand the feeling well enough to define it, let alone recognize the spark of affection she might have for him.
“So warm…” she whispered, her voice soft, quiet, and happy.
“I could fall in love with this.” Her words carried a gentle delight, and her amethyst eyes glowed softly in the dim forest light.
Subaru blushed at her words, embarrassment washing over him. To hide it, he tried to pull away, forcing out a nervous chuckle.
“Heh, Emilia-tan, you know, today…”
But before he could finish, Emilia interrupted him, her voice trembling with shy pleading.
“S-Subaru, can we… stay like this a little longer? I want to keep listening to your heartbeat.”
Her fingers clutched his tracksuit, her face buried against his chest, as if the steady rhythm soothed her.
Subaru’s lips curved into a gentle smile, his heart pounding wildly at her request.
Truthfully, he wanted the same—to be wrapped in her warmth, to feel her closeness.
Despite the blush burning his cheeks, he reached out and pulled her close again.
Emilia, her expression a mix of contentment and shyness, nestled deeper into him, listening intently to the beat of his heart.
It brought her a strange peace—a confirmation that Subaru was alive, grounding her in a way she couldn’t explain.
Subaru’s voice dropped to a whisper, so quiet she barely heard it.
“I love you, Emilia-tan. You mean everything to me.”
The confession slipped out—raw and unguarded—but Emilia, lost in the rhythm of his heartbeat, didn’t catch it.
She stirred slightly, pulling back with a frown.
“Subaru, did you say something?”
He froze, his face burning with embarrassment, the blush betraying him.
“N-no, nothing!” he mumbled, shaking his head.
Thankfully, Emilia’s cheeks were also flushed, and she nodded, assuming she must have misheard.
“Alright,” sh e murmured softly, leaning into him once more.
The gentle embrace between Subaru and Emilia stretched on, like a cocoon of warmth they both clung to, unwilling to let go.
Subaru cherished the moment, but part of him longed to make it deeper—brighter, fuller, more joyful.
He wanted something good, warm, and lighthearted to share with Emilia—the one person who had stood by him when he was drowning in despair, distrust, and the anger that had consumed him not long ago.
Where once burned rage and paranoia, only ashes remained. And from those ashes, something new had begun to grow—fragile trust, with Emilia at its center.
Subaru gently pulled back, his gaze meeting hers. He stared into her amethyst eyes, watching how her silver hair caught the faint forest light, tracing the delicate lines of her face.
The moment lingered, and Emilia murmured, “Subaru…”
A deep blush spread across her cheeks, her heart fluttering under his intense gaze. She didn’t understand why his eyes made her feel both shy and happy, why the warmth in her chest was both unfamiliar and comforting.
Subaru looked at her, and a mischievous spark flickered in his eyes. A warm, soft, genuine laugh escaped him. “Heh-heh-heh!”
Emilia blushed even harder and mumbled, “Subaru… do you feel even a little better? Did I help you… at least a little?” Her voice was gentle, full of hope, and her eyes searched his for a sign that she’d made a difference.
Subaru’s smile didn’t fade as he considered her words.
“Emilia-tan,” he said in a warm, steady voice, “I feel much better already. And I’ll feel even better if I can wake up every morning to the sound of your gentle voice—like the chime of a silver bell—and see your beautiful face and those amethyst eyes. Let me repay you for that.” His smile widened, playful, as he raised his hands toward her.
Emilia’s face burned, words tumbling from her lips in flustered confusion.
“Subaru, you idiot, what are you saying? Why does it feel so warm and nice? W-what are you planning, you dummy?” Her emotions surged, her voice trembled, her thoughts tangled.
Subaru grinned, his eyes sparkling. “You’ll see!” he exclaimed, lunging toward her.
Before she could respond, he gently tackled her to the ground, his fingers dancing along her sides, tickling her.
“Heh-heh-heh! Ha-ha!” Emilia squealed, her laughter bursting out despite her protests. “Subaru, you… ha-ha… stop! You idiot, I… I’ll bite you! Ha! Hee-hee!”
Subaru laughed even louder, delighted by her reaction. “Emilia-tan, you’re so cute when you’re flustered and laughing! I can’t stop!” journey.
Subaru intensified his teasing, tickling Emilia with renewed energy as her laughter filled the forest air.
Her face glowed with joy, her laughter spilling out as she squirmed beneath his playful assault. “Ah! K-kh! Subaru, stop! I can’t take it anymore… ha-ha… please!” she pleaded, her voice trembling with laughter.
Subaru froze for a moment, his smile faltering as a shadow of doubt flickered in his mind. Had he upset her? Was she disappointed in him? The thought twisted in his gut, paranoia whispering in his ear.
“I’m sorry, Emilia-tan,” he mumbled awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to… You’re probably disappointed in me, aren’t you?”
Emilia, catching her breath, slowly sat up, a playful smile dancing on her lips. She saw the guilt in his eyes, the way he seemed to think he’d crossed a line. Without a word, she settled beside him on the soft, cool forest grass, her movements calm and deliberate. Her hand instinctively reached out, gripping his tightly, refusing to let go.
Subaru lifted his head, avoiding her gaze, but before he could speak, she tackled him with a playful cry.
“Time for payback, dummy!” she declared, her fingers darting to tickle him in return.
“Ack! Emilia-tan, this is… ha-ha… too much! H-ha! I can’t… stop laughing!” Subaru gasped, writhing under her attack.
Emilia grinned, scrunching her nose, teasing him: “Nope! You were right—it’s fun! And your laugh is so cute—I’m starting to really like it!” Her words spilled out light and carefree.
“Ha-ha, Emilia, p-please!” Subaru begged, his laughter mixing with hers.
Their playful struggle continued until Emilia, breathless from laughter, collapsed onto Subaru, wrapping him in a joyful embrace. She buried her face in his chest, quietly humming to herself, a wave of quiet contentment washing over her.
But a heavy question gnawed at her—one she was afraid to ask. After a pause, she murmured: “Subaru… can I ask you something? If you don’t mind, I mean… about your power.” Her voice trembled, guilt creeping in for bringing it up.
Subaru swallowed hard. His trust in her was unwavering, despite the weight of the question. “K-kh… of course, Emilia,” he said softly. “I’ll try to answer.”
Her voice shook as she spoke, her face still pressed against him. “Why… why did you keep saving me in the capital? Again and again, sacrificing yourself? Why didn’t you just let me die there, so you wouldn’t have to suffer?”
Subaru fell silent, his heart pounding as he searched for the words.
Finally, he spoke in a steady but hoarse voice: “I love you, Emilia-tan. So much.” The confession hung in the air, catching her off guard.
Her eyes widened, and all she could manage was a trembling: “Why, Subaru? Why me? I’m a half-elf… I look just like the Witch…”
He didn’t hesitate. The words poured out.
“Emilia, I’ll say it again: I love you. You saved me in that alley, just like you’re saving me now—from despair and darkness. You’ve always been there—so kind, so gentle. How could I not fall in love with you? You’re the only thing that matters in my worthless life.” He faltered, unable to continue, his voice thick with emotion.
Emilia began to cry, her voice trembling as she realized he wasn’t joking.
“Subaru, why did it all turn out this way? Are you teasing me?” she rasped through tears, not yet grasping the sincerity behind his words.
Subaru pulled her close, gently stroking her back. “I don’t regret going through all of it… if it means I get to be happy with you,” he whispered.
Emilia lifted her tear-streaked face, her voice breaking as she pleaded: “Why was I supposed to matter to you? Tell me!” Her emotions surged, and she hugged him tightly, trembling from the storm inside her.
Subaru took a deep breath, his voice quiet but firm.
“Emilia, I love your amethyst eyes, your silver hair, your long ears, your face, your kindness, your stubbornness, your selflessness. You helped me without expecting anything in return. I could go on forever about how you’ve captivated me, Emilia-tan.” He fell silent, his cheeks burning.
“Why does it have to be this way?” Emilia cried, her heart breaking as she struggled to respond to his feelings. “Why do you make me feel this way, you idiot!” Her pain mingled with a desperate desire to return his feelings.
Subaru’s voice softened, nearly cracked. “I understand, Emilia-tan. It’s too soon… after Rem, Ram, and…” He couldn’t finish. The weight of trauma choked him.
Emilia shook her head, words spilling out awkwardly. “I want to try, Subaru… to love you, if you’ll let me. If it helps you, I’ll learn what love means. I’ll try to understand it.” Her confession was clumsy, raw—but sincere.
Subaru whispered, barely believing his ears: “Emilia…” His voice trembled, as if afraid this was a dream he might wake from.
Subaru couldn’t fully grasp whether Emilia had returned his feelings or simply promised to consider them, but one thing was clear—she hadn’t rejected him. If she had, she wouldn’t be lying on him now, her tears soaking his chest as she clung to him tightly.
For the half-elf, his confession was a shock. She’d never imagined someone would say “I love you” to her, let alone sacrifice their life for her time and again. Worse, she wanted to respond but didn’t know how, her heart tangled in emotions she couldn’t name.
“Subaru,” she murmured, her amethyst eyes pleading as she looked up at him, “can you teach me how to love? What do I need to do?” Her voice trembled with earnest desperation, begging for his guidance.
Subaru’s heart raced, his own inexperience weighing on him. A hikikomori like him had never known relationships—how could he teach her?
He began to rise from the grass, gently supporting Emilia, who now sat on his lap, gazing at him expectantly, as if he held all the answers.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know, Emilia-tan,” he admitted, shocking her. “I really don’t.”
Emilia leaned closer, her voice insistent. “Subaru, I’m serious,” she whispered, her tone unwavering.
He swallowed hard. “To be honest… you’re the second girl I’ve ever really talked to. The first was my mom. I only know the basics: couples hold hands… and hug…” His words trailed off as Emilia wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close.
“Hm, like this?” she murmured, her voice soft as she nestled against him. “It feels a little warmer in my heart… and kind of embarrassing. What else should I do, Subaru?”
He gulped, his arms awkwardly encircling her in return. “Emilia, don’t force yourself, please,” he said, his voice gentle but firm. “It’s enough that you’re here with me. You need time to figure out what you feel. You barely know me yet, so let’s spend more time together, okay?” He tried to convey his sincerity, hoping she’d understand.
Emilia pulled back slightly, her expression puzzled. “B-But, Subaru, I want to do something for you, like you do for me!” she protested, her eyes searching his.
Subaru smiled softly. “You’re already doing that, Emilia-tan. You stopped me from dying at Ram’s hands. You stopped me from becoming a monster by not letting me kill her. You’re the only one who holds back my paranoia and rage. You’re the center of my world—don’t you see? Without you, I’d be so much worse off.”
Emilia’s breath hitched, her heart skipping at his words. He’d done it again, made her feel something she couldn’t name. “How do you do that, Subaru?” she groaned, flustered. “Ugh, stop it!”
He laughed, a spark of his old self shining through. “Can’t help it, Emilia! So, you cool with giving me an answer later?”
She fell silent, part of her aching to say, Yes, Subaru, I love you, even if she didn’t fully understand the words. But she nodded, conceding. “Okay, you dummy,” she murmured, promising herself she’d figure out her feelings and tell him one day.
Emilia rose from his lap and sat beside him, taking his hand in hers, a quiet blush coloring both their faces. The moment was interrupted by Puck’s voice as he floated out of her crystal. “Well, well, Lia and Subaru, flirting while I’m busy, huh? Poor me, the great lonely spirit, ignored by all!” he teased, his tone dripping with mock sorrow.
Neither Subaru nor Emilia could pinpoint why, but Puck’s exaggerated sulking lifted their spirits. His feigned offense at being ignored was so comically over-the-top that it sparked laughter in the air.
Subaru and Emilia let go of each other’s hands, their earlier intensity giving way to a lighter mood. Subaru grinned, his gaze shifting from Emilia to the floating spirit.
“You know what I’m thinking, Emilia?” he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.
The half-elf tilted her head, her silver hair catching the faint forest light. “What’s that, dear Subaru?” she replied, her voice warm and teasing. The word “dear” slipped out so naturally that Subaru swallowed hard, his cheeks tingling at how it sounded in her voice.
“W-Well,” he stammered, recovering with a mischievous smile, “I think Puck’s begging for us to give him a little tickle. Don’t you agree, Emilia-tan?”
Emilia caught the hint, her amethyst eyes sparkling as she winked at him. “Oh, Subaru, I think you’re absolutely right!”
With a swift move, she lunged forward, snatching the great spirit Puck into her arms. She began tickling and squeezing him, her laughter ringing out. Subaru joined in, his fingers darting to add to the playful assault.
“Pfft! Heh! Lia! Subaru! Stop it—haha! I’m a great spirit, meow! Enough!” Puck protested, his voice a mix of mock indignation and helpless giggles, squirming in their grasp but unwilling to truly resist.
Emilia tilted her head, pretending not to hear. “Did you hear something, Subaru? I thought I caught a squeak, but it must’ve been my imagination.”
Subaru smirked, playing along. “Nope, nothing at all, Emilia-tan!”
The pair continued their relentless tickling, showering the great spirit with attention as he played the role of a helpless toy in their hands. Time flew by in a blur of laughter, unnoticed by the two.
“Pff—Lia, Subaru, I think that’s enough already,” Puck declared, beginning to shift the size of his body.
“Wait, Puck, we were just playing with you… right, Emilia-tan?” Subaru swallowed nervously, sensing that the great spirit was up to something.
“O-oh, y-yes, Subaru… Puck, what are you planning? W-wait!”
The great spirit didn’t listen. As his body expanded several times over, he slipped free from Emilia and Subaru’s playful grip.
Before the pair could fully grasp what was happening, Puck tackled both of them onto the thick grass in the middle of the forest.
“Time for payback, kids,” he muttered with a mischievous grin.
Neither Emilia nor Subaru could move or get up—Puck had pinned them down tightly, and they were completely immobilized.
“Heh-heh… So, how does it feel to be in my place now?” Puck asked with mock mischief, his voice playful and exaggerated.
“P-Puck, Subaru and I already understand! We’re sorry—p-please forgive us!” the half-elf pleaded, hoping the spirit would show mercy.
Subaru had nothing to add to Emilia’s words. He chose to remain silent, watching through the prism of a black-and-white world. To be honest, the great spirit stirred more discomfort in him than affection.
But Subaru had decided to suppress those feelings from now on—to live more simply, thanks to one half-elf.
Puck lingered for a moment, teasing the pair, mocking them gently. Then, realizing there was no point in continuing, and with plenty more he wanted to discuss, he finally rele ased them.
Subaru quickly rose from the grass to his feet and, with a smooth motion, extended his hand to Emilia.
“I ask for your hand and heart—oh…” Subaru faltered, realizing how that sounded. That wasn’t what he meant.
The half-elf took his hand and stood up, her face burning with blush from his careless words.
“T-thank you, Subaru.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it, Subaru—you’ve already charmed my Lia. But don’t you think it’s a bit too soon?”
Subaru said nothing. He simply stayed quiet, seemingly unfazed by the comment.
But Emilia suddenly panicked.
“P-Puck, what are you even talking about?”
“Relax, Emilia-tan. He’s just teasing us,” Subaru sighed.
“Oh, Subaru, I hope you won’t go overboard with my Lia. And I’ll make sure of that myself.”
“Yeah, yeah, Puck, I hear you. What else do you want?”
“Well, Subaru, I hope you’ll do everything for my Lia—including making her happy.”
“Puck, is that all you wanted?”
“Oh no, not at all. Actually, I wanted to make sure you two are prepared before heading far away into the cold Elior Forest with nothing.”
Subaru pondered the great spirit’s words. In truth, he and Emilia had nothing—no supplies, no capital—to begin their journey.
Well, almost nothing. Subaru had an ace up his sleeve that no one suspected.
“Ah, right… Puck, Subaru and I… we don’t have any money…”
The half-elf fell silent, realizing just how poorly they’d planned their escape and how little thought they’d given to reaching the eternally frozen Elior Forest.
“Actually, Emilia-tan, we might have… around fifteen gold coins in my pocket. I’m not sure if that’s a lot,” Subaru said calmly, trying to reassure both her and the spirit.
“Wait, Subaru—you’re not joking, right?” Emilia asked, startled.
“Is something wrong, Emilia? Is that not enough?” Subaru replied.
“No, no, that’s quite a lot, Subaru.But where did you get that kind of money?”
Puck narrowed his eyes playfully. “I can’t help but agree with my Lia—Subaru, did you rob some poor bastard on your way out? Ha-ha-heh!”
“Hmm? No, why would I?” Subaru replied calmly, watching them as he reached into the pocket of his tracksuit and pulled something out.
Emilia blinked. “Um… sorry, but what is that, Subaru?”
“It’s just my Sony flip phone, Emilia-tan,” he said casually.
The small cat-like spirit floated up to Subaru’s face, staring at the device in confusion.
“Subaru… what’s a phone?”
“Mmm, my phone… it’s like, what did Rom call it again? Ah—‘a metia,’ right? When he appraised it, he said its value was more than ten gold coins.”
Subaru flinched and curled in on himself at the mention of another loop—one where Elsa had killed him in the loot house.
And of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by the half-elf holding his hand. She tightened her grip, refusing to let go of him even for a moment.
“I’m such an idiot… He died back then because of me. Idiot, idiot, idiot… I made him suffer. I’m selfish. I have to understand his feelings completely—and soon.”
Subaru turned to Emilia, puzzled. “Is something wrong, Emilia? You look sad. Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”
Emilia flinched. “N-no, Subaru. It’s nothing. Please, go on.”
“Right… where was I? Oh yeah—the phone. It’s a piece of advanced technology I brought with me when I ended up here from Japan.”
Puck looked even more confused, while the half-elf seemed to have mentally checked out, lost in her own thoughts, not hearing a word Subaru was saying.
“Wait, Subaru… Japan? Hmm, you must be from the Great Waterfall then.”
“Subaru’s from the Great Waterfall, Puck,” Emilia echoed, even more bewildered.
“Alright, Emilia, Puck… let’s talk about all this later. Right now, I really don’t want to talk about … the ones I left behind… kkh… ah, I’m disgusting.”
In that moment, Subaru was overwhelmed with self-loathing. He felt like a terrible son.
“Subaru, I’m here. It’s okay,” the half-elf whispered, pulling him into a gentle embrace.
Subaru lingered in her embrace for a moment before rasping, “I’m okay, Emilia-tan.”
The half-elf held him a little longer before finally letting go. She said nothing, but returned to desperately clutching his hand, unwilling to let him drift even for a second.
Meanwhile, the spirit decided to steer the conversation back on track.
“Alright, Subaru, I think I understand—you want to sell your phone?” Puck asked.
“Yeah, Puck. I figured we could use the money to buy warm clothes, supplies, and everything else we’ll need.”
Emilia began to recover slightly, reassured by Subaru’s words. At least he had some kind of plan. They weren’t completely helpless. But then she paused, thinking deeply, and interrupted him.
“Subaru, wait. The Elior Forest isn’t that far from the mansion, if I remember correctly. If we keep going like this, we’ll reach its borders in two days. And there aren’t any nearby villages to buy or sell anything…”
“Yeah, that’s bad, Emilia-tan.”
“Subaru, under certain conditions, I can work with Puck to provide us with food and water, and keep our body temperature stable. So it’s okay. Trust me—I’ll take care of everything.”
She reassured Subaru, though deep down, fear gnawed at her. Fear of what people would think when they saw her—a mirror image of the Witch. Fear that they’d throw stones, or worse. Fear that they might hurt Subaru because of her.
The safest choice was to stay hidden. In the end, Subaru would listen to her—if he truly needed her.
She wanted to say something.
“Subaru, I think… hkh… I can’t breathe…”
“Enough, Natsuki Subaru.”
Behind Emilia, a blood-soaked figure appeared—a clown. He grabbed her by the throat and began to choke her. Emilia, in a desperate move, shoved Subaru away from her.
“Roswaal… where did you…” Subaru’s voice broke, hollow.
“You really disappoint me, Natsuki Subaru. With this half-devil, it seems I’ve already killed four people. Though she’s not human—just a pathetic witch.”
“What are you planning to do to my Lia, you bastard? I’ll kill you!”
The great spirit roared, his body expanding, unleashing a wave of freezing cold that surged toward Roswaal, threatening him.
“Oh, how terrifying, Natsuki Subaru. I’ll give you one last chance—otherwise, this witch’s head will roll.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Roswaal?”
While Subaru struggled to understand, Roswaal’s grip tightened around the half-elf’s neck.
“P-please… run… Sub…”
A sickening crack echoed through the forest. Then a wet thud. Emilia’s head, severed, hit the cold earth.
“Oh… forgive me. I didn’t mean to…”
“Roswaaaaaaaaaaal!” Subaru roared, as the world he saw gained a new color—one that joined the black and white.
And that color was red.
The red of blood.
Of despair.And soon, of torment.