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English
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Part 2 of Dave Is A Fucking Idiot
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Published:
2016-05-09
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1,190
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1/1
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11
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The Big, Romantic Speech

Summary:

Here by unpopular demand, the Strider Declaration Monologue mentioned in Do You Ever Feel Like You've Forgotten Something? It's basically just one of the times Dave practiced his speech for Karkat.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Dave stood in front of his mirror and breathed out heavily. He took off his shades, because that’s how he wanted to do it in front of Karkat. He wanted- no, he needed- Karkat to know how sincere he was being. Fuck, he was nervous.

He put the speech (that he totally hadn’t had to rewrite 5 times, 3 of those times because he kept accidentally making it into a rap. That totally didn’t happen) on the sink counter, in case he needed to remind himself of what to say. He’d been practicing for about two weeks now, so it was mostly there as a safety net. Still, he glanced down before starting.
“Karkat,” he began, staring into his bright red eyes and trying not to flinch. “Karkat, we’ve been friends for like, four years now. No, wait, fuck…” He cursed and scanned through his speech again. He wanted it to be perfect, no pauses or filler words, because he knew if he paused he’d go off script and onto some weird tangent that even he didn’t understand.

He looked in the mirror and tried again. “Karkat, you’ve been my friend for four years now. We’re close, we’re best bros. I’d like to think we don’t have any secrets between us. Except…” Dave took a deep breath. Maybe I should take my shades off here, instead? Dave wondered. Except no, that was way too dramatic, and this was not supposed to be ironic. He kept going, despite his pause. “Except one. One that I’ve been keeping from you for a while, because I was scared. Shit, I still am scared. Fucking terrified, actually. But. Prom is coming up, and I’d really like to go with you. As bros, of course, you’ll always be my bro, but not just that. You’re amazing, and cute, and smart, and funny, and I just really, really care about you. Karkat, I love you, and I have for a really long time. Will you be my date to prom?” Dave finished, blowing out a gust of air.

He glanced at the script. He was pretty much word for word. A couple of breaths he didn’t plan for, but that made it sound more natural. He hoped.
Now was the part he hated. He didn’t want Karkat to feel bad when (if! Dave reminded himself. Stay positive!) he rejected Dave, so he had to make sure that he didn’t seem too hurt.

The first thing Dave practiced reacting to was disgust and anger. Some form of shouted “Fuck no!” or maybe even physical recoiling. Dave watched himself as he played the scene in his head, as he imagined the horror marring Karkat’s normally pretty features, his honey-brown eyes wide and his full lips slightly open. He made sure no trace of pain showed on his face, even practicing a light smile, as he flicked his shades down. They were the critical seconds- he knew his eyes were the most expressive part of his face. “That’s cool, I get it,” Dave said to his reflection, wincing as his voice came out a little wooden. “This doesn’t change anything, does it? We’re still best bros?” Although he would ask, Dave knew what Karkat’s reply would be. He would say that of course they were still best friends, of course nothing would change, because Karkat was too nice to say anything other than that. His real answer would be in his actions.

Okay, Dave was happy with that one. He’d practiced it the most.

Next came pity. This was significantly harder, because at least if Karkat was a dick about it, he could imagine that he was angry, just to stave off the pain of rejection. If Karkat’s voice was soft, with sadness in his warm, kind eyes, Dave would struggle. But, that’s why he practiced. He lifted his shades again, stared at his face, as he thought about Karkat’s angry façade dropping, twisting into a pity that cut sharper than any knife. “Oh, Dave…” He’d say, and he would think he was helping the situation by making his usually rough, angry voice soft and quiet. “I just don’t see you like that.” Dave watched himself, seeing how he shut down. Except, Karkat knew what that meant. He would have almost no time to go from that to a fake emotion before Karkat felt guilty. He flicked his shades down with a practiced ease and smirked. “It’s alright, bro,” he said, ensuring his voice was jovial, almost cocky. “As long as we stay best buds, that’s fine by me.”

Yes, he was happy with that one too. Fuck, he hoped it wasn’t that one. That one hurt.

His final reaction was to an agreement, where Karkat actually wanted to go out with Dave. But… Dave couldn’t bring himself to practice that one. Not because he was scared of jinxing himself, but because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. He was pretty sure he had seen Karkat looking at him in ways that probably weren’t strictly chummy, and, if he wasn’t reading the situation wrong, Karkat tended to get a little flustered when Dave got in his personal space, more than when John or Terezi did. He wouldn’t ask unless he had reason to think Karkat would reciprocate his feelings, but Dave knew that it was just as likely that he was projecting.

Dave’s phone buzzed and he tensed, immediately shaken out of his stupor. He grabbed his phone as he walked out of the bathroom, pretending he didn’t see Rose laughing at him in her doorway.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:13

CG: HEY ASSHOLE.

CG: CAN YOU BRING THAT PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL A CAR TO MY HOUSE AND PICK ME UP FOR TEREZI’S PARTY?

TG: dude what the fuck the party is in like 15 minutes

TG: what happened to your car

CG: FUCKING KANKRI HAPPENED. WHAT ELSE?

TG: dude what lmao

CG: KANKRI STOLE MY FUCKING CAR TO MEET HIS FRIENDS.

CG: I CHANCED UPON THIS *INCREDIBLE* FACT WHEN I WENT OUTSIDE TO DRIVE MYSELF TO JOHN’S HOUSE AND DISCOVERED AN ASTONISHING LACK OF CAR.

CG: WHO EVEN MEETS FRIENDS ON A WEEK NIGHT?

TG: i mean were kind of going to a party on a week night but whatever

CG: IT’S TOTALLY FINE, THOUGH, BECAUSE THE INCONSIDERATE DOUCHEBAG LEFT TEN DOLLARS ON THE FRIDGE "F9r the petr9l."

TG: i do not think that dude knows how much petrol is

CG: NO FUCKING SHIT.

CG: SO WILL YOU PICK ME UP?

TG: yeah bro be there in 5

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 13:16

Dave smirked. He was going to tell that grumpy little bastard tonight.

(Dave did not, in fact, confess to Karkat at the party, because as he had been starting, Terezi had appeared with beer, and he’d been distracted. That night, however, he dreamt that he confessed and Karkat said yes. He woke up, assumed it had really happened, and spent two days wondering whether Karkat would find it cute or lame if Dave asked to match the colours of their suits for prom.)

Notes:

that was an incredibly good way to procrastinate writing anything with actual plot, so thanks to the people who suggested i write it. it was pretty fun at least. next should be the actual prom, and the sex, although i don't know if i'll put them in the same work.
as always, let me know if there was any errors (which lbr i wrote this at 2 in the morning and sent 30 messages to 3 different people because i couldn't remember what a sink counter was called, so there's probably a fair few), and tell me what you thought. thanks! <3

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