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1.
Everyone is curious about this one junior from the hospitality department and it's not surprising. It’s hard not to, really. Not when he’s like if a shoujo manhwa male lead is real and breathing and wearing real human flesh. What more, he does it so effortlessly that he even manages to pull casual gym clothes like designer brands. He fits the stereotypical and clichéd description of the bearer too: tall, mysterious, smart, athletic and handsome. God knows people wish they are exaggerating when they describe him, but it’s the damn truth and he made it even more so by getting the title as their batch’s idol sweetheart. It's worthy to mention as well that he did it just by breathing? Existing?
No need to choose one. It’s both.
Contrary to the title though, this guy is very much not a sweetheart. He’s intimidating, guarded, and quiet. Not to mention his resting face — that automatic frown and snarl, but not in a way that tells he’s above everyone else, just that someone who looks like he hates everything and everyone who comes his way. It should be difficult to make the distinction there, but somehow he also manages to pull that off.
Needless to say, it's very much the reason why despite the obvious amount of admirers, he’s never once asked out. He just seemed to be that type of person. One who would look at you in disgust if you ever confess, or would straightforwardly reject you and use the excuse of ‘study first’. He exudes so much magnetism, and yet he doesn't look like the type of person who’d involve himself in a romantic relationship.
Hence, the majority deemed it better to just admire him from afar, watch him sweat and breathe heavily during his basketball matches, and fantasize about him as they pass him by the hallways. That's it.
Still, with his looks and popularity, it's impossible that no one will ever dare and try to ask him out. That's just unlikely.
And sure enough.
2.
It happens in the library.
The first semester is nearing its end, and Yoo Joonghyuk is exhausted from all the deadlines. Still, he has a lot due this week, and he has an essay to submit in a few hours, so he does his best to not succumb to the exhaustion and tries to motivate himself with the thought of his rest.
He’s in the middle of giving himself mandatory inner pep-talks to get through the week when someone taps the table he’s at. He looks up and sees a beautiful woman; long blond hair and bright red lips, smiling at him while holding a laptop in her arm. Her uniform tells that she’s in the medical field.
She signals with her head to the seat across Yoo Joonghyuk’s seat, and when he shakes his head, she mouths thank you and settles there.
Yoo Joonghyuk doesn't say anything else and immediately goes back to what he is doing, but it doesn't take long before he’s distracted by the pair of eyes staring at him. He frowns, but keeps his expression neutral when he meets the woman’s gaze.
She has her chin on her palm as she regards him with a charming smile. “You’re Yoo Joonghyuk, right?”
Yoo Joonghyuk is way too familiar with this kind of antics to even bother pretending he cares. He nods anyway.
“I’m Lee Seolhwa,” she introduces herself, voice exuding boldness that doesn't sound off-putting, but more like an extension of herself. Yoo Joonghyuk is confident in his ability to judge character, and she doesn't disappoint when she casually adds, “want to go out with me?”
It's one among many questions similar to the like that he’s heard so much already, so he doesn't wait nor hesitate when he says, practiced and almost automated, “No. I’m someone’s already.”
Yoo Joonghyuk observes her reaction, and relaxes when there doesn't seem to be any trace of hurt by his answer. Instead, he sees her eyebrow raising in a seemingly amused way.
Whatever the reason is is not his business, so he looks down to proceed with what he’s doing, less expectant to be talked to again when she suddenly sighs. “My, to be fair, I’d be more surprised if you weren't… hm, someone’s already. Heh, what a way you have with words.” He hears her chuckle, and feels her lean back against the back of her seat. “And who might this lucky person be?”
3.
Lee Seolhwa doesn't fail to notice the way Yoo Joonghyuk’s shoulders suddenly eased at the question. She doesn't fail to see the shift of his expression, so vague but still evident; his tired eyes seem to be carrying the glint of a smile his tight (but now more relaxed) lips couldn't produce.
“Between us, I am the lucky one.”
Maybe it’s the way he says it. The firm gentleness in his admission, the way his voice holds enough affection for anyone to just know —
“You have it bad, don't you?” Lee Seolhwa asks, but there’s already an assurance in her tone. It doesn’t sound like a mock though, especially when matched with a genuine smile on her face.
Yoo Joonghyuk blinks at her, and just before she can assume that he’s probably considering the question, he answers, “I do.”
He said it with so much seriousness that one would think he was just asked about something personal.
Lee Seolhwa fights back a laugh.
4.
“...”
“...”
“Hm. Right. I’ve decided. I think I like you now, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi.”
“What do you mean? You don’t just decide to like someone. And I already said—”
“Eh, shush. Sometimes you do. Like right now. And yes, I know. You're already someone’s. That’s why I like you.”
“What?”
“Pfft. Don't look like that! You’re not seeing me ask you out now, right?”
“Then… earlier…?”
“Mm. I was hearing all about you so I was curious what the fuss was all about. I knew you’d reject me. But it turns out you’re more interesting than I thought.”
“Are you flirting with me?”
“Hahaha! You’re funny! But no, I’m not. I like that you're genuine. Or at least you seemed to be. Forget about dating you, I want to be your friend. If you’d let me.”
“You have no ill intentions?”
“Funny how you word out romantic intentions, but rest assured I don't like you like that.”
“...”
“...”
“... okay.”
“Okay? Nice! But would me being a friend cause a problem with your relationship though? That's the last thing I want.”
“It wouldn't.”
“... but would you tell your lover I asked you out?”
“Yes.”
“What!? Wouldn't they think I’m trying to seduce you or something?”
5.
Yoo Joonghyuk looks at her. And it was something.
With a soft trace of smile, he opens his mouth to simply say: “Did you forget already? I have it bad.”
As in, do I look like someone who’d easily get seduced?
Lee Seolhwa eyes him for a moment, and this time, she doesn't fight the laugh.
“Fair enough.”
6.
It’s common knowledge that Yoo Joonghyuk isn't a talkative person. If you ask him about something, he might give a sentence or two as an answer, and that already includes a dismissive remark. Asking him about himself though? Out of the question. You’re lucky if you manage to pull an adjective out of his mouth.
Lee Seolhwa can attest to this. While Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t reject her proposal to be friends, he also didn't actively fill up the role of a one, to say the least. He allowed her in his circle, but kept an arm’s length. He kept her company, but would rarely initiate a conversation. Not to mention that Lee Seolhwa also wasn't one to talk much, the two of them practically spent most time in silence. They were more like acquaintances than friends, and Lee Seolhwa thought so at first; that Yoo Joonghyuk was more polite than he appeared and just couldn’t tell her no when she asked to be friends, but the thought dissolved when Yoo Joonghyuk told someone from the same class that she was his friend when asked.
So yes, they were friends. It was awkward at first, but it didn't take a lot before they found their middle ground. They spent enough time that even when most of that time wasn't spent chatting, they were able to know about the other through observations and just being there, being present.
They were friends who didn't talk a lot. But they were friends, and they would still sit beside each other in the library and do their thing. They would still accompany each other when one of them asked. They would still randomly talk about something philosophical once bored. Lee Seolhwa would still ask Yoo Joonghyuk to be a volunteer as a subject for some of her tests, and Yoo Joonghyuk would still grab her a drink when she’s drowning in papers.
They were friends who didn't talk a lot. But they spent enough time for Lee Seolhwa to know that there's one person that would get Yoo Joonghyuk to talk more than a few sentences. And not just a few sentences, but actually ramble, like his life depends on it.
And that is?
You get it.
7.
It isn’t like Yoo Joonghyuk has nothing else to talk about and his life revolved around his partner. He’s a good and sincere friend, she can say that now with much sincerity. He takes care of her really well, and is a good listener. It's just that he was so awkward, clumsy, and didn't know how to talk about himself. It was obvious he didn't have a lot of friends, and so the moment Lee Seolhwa picked that pattern up in their earlier stages of friendship when they were still easing up on each other, she used that to her advantage and made it her guide to get to know him better.
So Lee Seolhwa, now much confident in her knowledge of Yoo Joonghyuk, only has one tip to anyone who wants to get to really know the guy and befriend him: ask him about his lover.
No, really. She means it.
8.
Lee Seolhwa has a few example scenarios.
“One time, during our early stages of dating, he went over and we were doing our own thing. I was playing games and he was reading, and he finished reading first, got bored, and I thought that’d be it and he’d ask for my attention — which I was ready to give, by the way — but then he just leaned into me and watched me silently, asking questions every now and then. Mind I remind you that he doesn't like playing games, and has never liked them, so that just showed how much he liked me…” So he likes to play games.
“Food recommendation? Oh. I recommend the dumplings from the Murim restaurant just near the University. He got me them last time since he knew I like dumplings, and they were probably the best I had.” Hm. Favorite food is dumplings. Noted.
And so on.
9.
If Yoo Joonghyuk isn't verbally explicit about his relationship status to the public, then look at him closely and you’ll see that the signs were.
The most obvious example was the necklace he always wears that has the letter D as a pendant. But there were others too that only Lee Seolhwa knew about: the faded polaroid picture on the back of his phone and the bust shot photograph in his wallet who was both his lover, the squid keychain dangling from his bag; Yoo Joonghyuk said it has a matching one, but the other was a sunfish and it was with his lover’s. There were also his shoes and headphones, both of them an anniversary gift.
Oh. Sometimes the perfume he wears is his lover’s, too. Because apparently it helps Yoo Joonghyuk calm down and relax.
“My god,” Lee Seolhwa once said in both disbelief and amusement, “it’s like you’re making your lover your personality. I’m not sure if I should be impressed or concerned.”
And to that, Yoo Joonghyuk had said: “He’s not my personality. But he’s very much a part of my identity.”
Damn it. Lee Seolhwa has never felt more single in her life.
10.
“At this point, it's a matter of time before everyone knows you’re in a relationship.”
Yoo Joonghyuk shrugs. “I’m surprised they still don't.”
Lee Seolhwa snorts. “Me too.”
11.
When it happens, it’s during the Campus Festival.
Coincidentally, the event is in the same week as Valentine’s day, so hearts and roses are everywhere, and most students wore red.
Lee Seolhwa is roaming around the field together with Yoo Joonghyuk, checking the booths from different departments to see if there's anything interesting when three students come in their direction. The one leading in front was holding a microphone; the two behind were holding a camera and a folder. They seem to be from the communications department.
“Hi!” The one holding a microphone, a girl with long black hair, calls. “You guys are Yoo Joonghyuk and Lee Seolhwa! The sweethearts of hospitality and pre-med departments! Can we ask you a question?”
Yoo Joonghyuk eyes them for a moment. Lee Seolhwa smiles at them. “Are you filming?”
The girl nods with a warm and enthusiastic smile. “Yes! We’re communications majors and members of our organization. We’re asking students around a question for Valentine’s, and it’s a coincidence we saw you both since a lot are interested in you two!
The two of them aren't new to this kind of attention. They’ve both had their share of unwanted attention from dealing with people who secretly took pictures of them because of their interest. The only difference was that other than that, Lee Seolhwa also had to face the camera a lot for a few modeling gigs here and there. So naturally, they don't mind having a camera being pointed at them. At the very least, it's not being done in secret, which is relieving to know..
“What is it?” Lee Seolhwa asks.
“What do you think about love?”
Lee Seolhwa blinks, and gives Yoo Joonghyuk a side eye as she thinks, oh boy. I don't think you want to ask him that.
Yoo Joonghyuk looks at her, and they find a mutual understanding. She’ll have to go first, and that’s fine with her too since that’ll take some attention off of her once she’s done. So with a smile, she leans towards the microphone that’s pointed at them, and says, “Love is something that a lot of people I know of spend years trying to find, but I think you don’t have to search so hard to find it because it’s everywhere — even when it’s not happening to you, you can trust that it’s happening around you. And I hope the knowledge grounds others as much as it does me.” Of course, there is loneliness sometimes as well, but she doesn't say anything about that, because it’s about love she’s asked about, not the lack thereof and loneliness. “More importantly, love lives from within. If you have trouble finding it, then just be it.”
The girl gives a soft expression in front of the camera, hand on her chest, before turning back to Lee Seolhwa. “That’s such an endearing answer! I like how you say that it grounds you knowing that love is happening to others even if it’s not happening to you. I know of others who are bitter about it, especially when they see couples showing public displays of affection! Don’t you ever feel the same?”
Lee Seolhwa allows the question to digest first, settling with a moment of intentional silence before answering. “I would lie if I say I haven’t. We all know life gets lonely. But I really strive to not think about it that way. There’s already so much bitterness in this world, I want to lean into the intimacy of what you experience when you’re in the shoes of an observer. I like seeing someone hold their partner’s hands while they cross the street, or when someone compliments a stranger they know nothing about, or when mothers have this look on their face when they look at their children— that look like they’re willing to do anything for them.” God, and here she thought Yoo Joonghyuk will be the only one who’d have so much to say about love. She could just go on and on about this. “It grounds me to be a witness, because it reminds me there’s more to life than cruelty.”
She’s almost teary eyed by the time she’s done, and she can see that their interviewers were, too. She wets her lips and looks at Yoo Joonghyuk, feeling slightly embarrassed, but his eyes are softer. He’s also smiling, too.
“God, you are a poet, aren't you?!” The girl says after a while. “I think that just healed something in me. This will be in our highlights, just so you know!”
Lee Seolhwa laughs. “I think we all become poets in the face of love,” she says. “And thank you for asking me such an important question!”
12.
When it’s Yoo Joonghyuk’s turn, it’s obvious that they are expecting him to give a short answer, as he always does.
Unfortunately for them, that man is a nerd for his beloved. His dearest, as he always says.
“I really like Seolhwa’s answer, and I’d also like to add to her point of how ‘even if love doesn't happen to you, it happens around you’, that love isn’t just something that happens to you, but through you. So really it’s not just around you, it’s also because of you.” His voice lacks its usual indifference, his intimidating expression ceases as it’s replaced by warmth. It obviously puts the three in surprise. “But I think love is a universal force that can't be tied down to one definition, since everyone has different experiences with it. Though at its core, I see love as a reason, no matter what that reason is for each person.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice is gentle when he answers. “And to me, love is a name.”
The girl takes a deep breath after his answer. She turns to the camera. “What’s up with these two and why do they answer like rents were due? What happened to love is blind, love is kind?” She says this, but she’s obviously intrigued and happy by what they received. “We’re sure a lot of students didn't expect such a sweet answer from you, sunbae! Oh— I hope I didn't offend you or anything!”
Yoo Joonghyuk is aware of his reputation. It’s not like he also goes around acting friendly with people. “No offense was taken,” he assures.
“Thank you! And ah! That last sentence, do you mean to say…?” she trails off, still unsure and slightly nervous around him.
Yoo Joonghyuk nods, and this time his smile is more obvious. “I’m growing into love with someone.”
“Growing into love, he says!” The girl practically screams. She bounces on her heels and looks excitedly at the camera. “Not falling! What a sudden revelation! Highlight of this year’s Valentine’s, I tell you! Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, your sweetheart is taken!” Her enthusiasm wipes away her intimidation around him, so she prods, “And how long have you been in a relationship, if that’s okay to know!?”
Yoo Joonghyuk is more than happy to answer, for all Lee Seolhwa knows. “Going six years,” he confesses. “We’ve been together since we were sixteen.”
“Oh my god! A long-term relationship, at that! Sweet! May we know what they’re like?”
“My love is…” Yoo Joonghyuk starts, looking down as he thinks deeply, and the way the two words fall from his lips were filled with complete devotion and surrender, and it sounded like alchemy.
From then on, Yoo Joonghyuk goes straight to the finest details as if he's an evangelist spreading the word of god, like he's narrating a biography, that if you’re not paying attention you'd think he’s being careless telling strangers about his closest person, but upon closer observation it’s noticeable that he’s careful and still calculated, leaving out important details like the name or other personal information.
He tells them about his brightness, how he was like the first streak of sunlight that thawed his frozen heart into the steady rhythm of life again,that he couldn't help but be drawn to him even before he starts to love him because he has such a way of luring people in towards him but also keeping them at arms’ length. How it had been a privilege that he was even allowed to hold such an intimate place in his life, because he spent years painfully yearning, silently gazing from a distance until he decides to look back with that knowing. That radiant smile.
(“I love you, too, Joonghyuk-ah. You don’t have to look at me like that anymore. Like I’m someone unreachable. I’m not. I’m here. Come, hold my hand. Come, hear my heart. It’s beating for you. I love you. Can you please believe that?”)
He tells them about alignment. Like everything he once saw wrong in his life came to the right places, all because of his influence. That he made him see the good in him that he thought didn't exist. That it was with his support, assurance, and love that Yoo Joonghyuk was able to learn how to trust himself as he treads the path of the unknown. Because no matter what, there’s someone to return to. Someone who’ll welcome him with open arms and kisses when the weight on his shoulders gets heavier than he can bear.
(“Joonghyuk-ah, if I can’t shut the voices in your head then at least let my voice be heard. Do not shut me off, please. At least let me have my place there too.” / “I love you, I love you. Even if the world thinks you’re not worthy of your dreams, of every good thing there is, remember that I am not part of that world. I am where you are, so go live that dream. I’ll be here waiting.”)
He speaks of praises; how intelligent and amazing and hardworking he was, how his name alone is enough to ground him back to his present.
And, at last, in a trembling and almost breathless voice, “— I just— I love him so much that sometimes it physically hurts because I wonder if one lifetime is enough to hold all of that.”
13.
“You don’t know how much I love you,” Yoo Joonghyuk whispered. He stared at his sleeping face, tracing his features with his eyes, caressing his cheek gently and feeling his skin close.
Yoo Joonghyuk had always found peace in watching him sleep; the intimacy in knowing he was trusted enough by his lover that he allowed himself to be this vulnerable and defenseless, because he knew he’s there to take care of him. That he’s there to warm him through the cold night, until the sunrise.
That he’s there to begin a new day together.
14.
“I’ll do anything you ask me to,” Yoo Joonghyuk promised, watching the steady rhythm of his breathing in his sleep. He cupped his face gently and pressed kisses on his eyelids, his nose, his cheek. “Do you hear me, my love? I will. I’ll even live for you. I’ll live, not only because you asked me to, but also because I’ll do anything it takes to grow with you— be with you in every step of the way.”
I’ll live. I’ll live well, the gods will see, and I’ll earn the right to be with you in the next lifetime.
15.
There is silence first after Yoo Joonghyuk (practically) stops showing off, and it takes a moment for the interviewer to come back to her role.
“Oh my god,” the girl starts, hand covering her mouth. Her eyes are teary. “That— that’s so. Oh my god. That’s so pure. I can’t believe— everyone, this might’ve been the only time we’ll hear this much from one of our campus sweethearts! Ah, how devoted!”
Yoo Joonghyuk looks surprised that his rambles are taken with such reverence and enthusiasm. Still, he believes that’s just because people are interested in him due to how closed off he was. If he was someone who opened himself easily to people, he’s sure they wouldn’t take him seriously.
But oh well. He got to talk about his beloved and people outside of his small circle were actually interested enough to listen (even for the gossip reasons), so he’ll take that as a win.
“Thank you for listening to all of that,” he says after, slightly embarrassed now that he’s back to himself.
“Yeah. This guy is a total nerd when it comes to his partner, so thank you indeed,” Lee Seolhwa snickers. She eyes the camera seriously. “You don’t want to know how the conversation goes when it’s just the two of us.”
The girl laughs. “It’s totally good! I think I understand more what you mean now about witnessing someone be in love!”
“Right!?”
The girl wears a warm expression as she finally faces the camera. “And that’s Yoo Joonghyuk of the hospitality program and Lee Seolhwa of the pre-med program for you, University of S–!”
“Thank you for having us!” Lee Seolhwa waves at the camera.
“Thank you.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s back to his usual demeanor. You’d almost think he didn’t just act like someone pathetically in love on screen.
16.
The moment the video is posted two days later, Yoo Joonghyuk’s popularity skyrockets. People talk about him here and there, and every reaction has been brought out. Curiosity, surprise, admiration, disgust, indifference, ridicule, etc. But not that he cares. He didn't even watch the video. It’s Lee Seolhwa who tells him about it.
And it’s not like he can’t tell when people pay attention to him.
“What the hell, I thought men like this only exist in fiction,” Lee Seolhwa says as she reads the top comments one by one. “I’ve never seen anyone as pathetic as this guy and I don’t even know him.” She couldn't help but laugh out loud at that. “Why did you all post this video? How am I supposed to view him as a cold, brooding male lead now? Fuck you, communications department! My delusions are all I have and you took that away from me, too! Crying emoji, heartbroken emoji.”
Yoo Joonghyuk deadpans as he listens.
“You went from hot mysterious guy to pathetic lover boy,” Lee Seolhwa giggles. “What the hell!”
Yoo Joonghyuk shrugs, looking slightly smug that Lee Seolhwa wants to feel annoyed. “They’re not wrong though.”
“And you're even proud of it!”
Yoo Joonghyuk raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Lee Seolhwa says nothing about that, because well, that's Yoo Joonghyuk for you.
She relaxes against her seat instead and finally opens her laptop. “They’re more interested and curious now about your secret lover than you.”
“Hmm,” Yoo Joonghyuk replies, lips tugging up in a small smile. “They’ll know him soon.”
Hearing that, Lee Seolhwa immediately raises her head. She almost yells at him, but remembers that they’re inside the library. “What!? What do you mean?”
Yoo Joonghyuk only gives him that same annoying look he gives when he’s trying to be mysterious about something, which may have worked for someone else, but not for Lee Seolhwa. Not anymore.
17.
There’s a guy who’s been roaming around the campus for a while now. He wears casual clothes and glasses, and his black hair looks soft through the rustling wind and under the sunlight. He’s holding a coffee holder in one hand, and a phone in another.
He looks out of place, and his face doesn't look like the type to gain a lot of attention, but there's something about the way he carries himself that makes people stop and take another look. A closer look. And it’s then they’ll realize how pretty he actually is.
It's also because of the closer look that they realize that the guy looks lost. Is lost.
“Hello,” a student calls as she approaches. “Do you need help?”
The guy looks relieved, to say the least. “Oh, yes, t-thank you! Um. Do you know Yoo Joonghyuk?” Then, as if realizing, “Ah, I mean, the hospitality department! Do you know where the building is?”
The girl still catches on the name though, and she couldn’t help but tilt her head in curiosity. “Uh, yes. But who are you? Why are you looking for Yoo Joonghyuk?”
The guy raises a hand to rub his neck and looks slightly shy. He also starts blushing.
The girl raises a brow. “Look, if you’re one of his admirers, let me just give you a piece of advice: give up. The guy is in a relationship, there's no one in this university who doesn't know when he basically bragged about it and it’s all over the internet.” The girl looks serious when she says this, and she doesn't even notice the way the guy he’s talking to starts to look surprised and speechless. “He’s down bad, you hear? Down bad.”
The guy doesn't say anything for a while after hearing that. Looking at his expression, the girl takes it as him lamenting over heartbreak. “That’s fine, buddy. You’re not alone in this. A lot of students actually mourned over their sweetheart bein—”
“Dokja-ya?”
The voice that cuts in is gentle, but the trace of excitement and joy couldn’t be hidden. The two who are having a conversation stop, and they both turn to look at the source of it, both of them already knowing who it was.
The guy — Dokja — beams at him, and his eyes are watery that Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t help but frown. He jogs towards him and holds his face between his hands. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Dokja doesn’t answer, only smiling at him. A smile that looks sad, but also sentimental. It makes Yoo Joonghyuk anxious, and that’s when he notices the presence of the girl beside them, who takes a step back in surprise when he looks at her. “Um.. I…” the girl starts, trying to explain, glancing between the two of them.
“Hyuk-ie, it’s nothing,” Dokja finally says, voice assuring and soft, but his breaths come heavy. He pulls away from Yoo Joonghyuk, holds his hand, and looks at the girl. “Thank you,” he whispers, bowing slightly.
“... oh my god,” the girl whispers in realization, eyes widening, and immediately starts blushing. “I’m so sorry! I… I didn’t think—”
“It’s okay,” Dokja assures her. “Thank you. That makes me happy.”
The girl bites her lip and nods hesitantly. “I— yeah. Um. Sorry again. And, uh, have a good date, I guess! Bye!”
Just like that, she scrambles.
When it’s only the two of them, Dokja holds up their entwined hands and presses a kiss on Yoo Joonghyuk’s. His eyes are shining with tears. “What the hell is wrong with you? She said you bragged about your relationship and it’s on the internet.”
When Yoo Joonghyuk laughs, it’s unrestricted and genuine and defenseless and his eyes squint, his face bright in a way no one else has ever seen.
No one, only Dokja. Because that’s the look he’d personally unraveled with his hands, his love and care and understanding. It’s meant for him alone.
Yoo Joonghyuk leans in and kisses his eyes. “Crybaby,” he teases before pulling him close. “I was given a chance and didn't want to waste it — of course I’ll brag about you.” He rests his forehead to Dokja’s shoulder, rubbing his nose to his neck and breathing in the familiar, comforting smell he’s missed so much, uncaring for the place they were at and who would see. He didn't see him for two months, since he was forced to go back to his province to take care of his mom, and Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't go with him. “I’d write the world with your name if I could,” he whispers in his ear.
Dokja slightly turns his face to kiss him on the cheek. “God, you’re a sap.”
“You mean your sap?” Yoo Joonghyuk snickers.
Dokja laughs. “Yeah, my sap.” He taps him on his back then, and hesitatingly, Yoo Joonghyuk breaks away from the hug, but still stays close to him. “Where’s Seolhwa-ssi? I’ve been dying to meet her.”
Yoo Joonghyuk takes the coffee holder from him and, with his free hand, wraps a hand around his waist. “She has to submit a project first, so she’ll follow after us. Let’s go first. I texted her already.”
18.
Unaware of their surroundings, they don’t realize that around them, the students passing by have already started whispering to each other in excitement and intrigue. Some even hold up their phones in secret.
“That is his lover, right!?”
“Oh my fucking gosh, Yoo Joonghyuk looks so submissive.”
“He’s running out of alpha aura.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“... I’m sorry that I’m chronically online and you’re not?”
“They look so good!”
“God, I love when hot and pretty people date each other.”
"Hah, I think I understand better what Lee Seolhwa meant now in that interview.”
19.
“I missed you so much, you can't even imagine. It was so hard without you, but I managed because I know that temporary distance is nothing compared to the reality that I’ll be with you for a long, long time!” Dokja rambles as they walk side by side, holding hands now, and Yoo Joonghyuk squeezes his hand gently.
God, Yoo Joonghyuk thinks, I want to marry him. Right now.
“A lifetime,” Yoo Joonghyuk tells him. “We’ll be together for a lifetime.”
“Hm, of course! I’m your husband after all!”
Yoo Joonghyuk almost trips. He whips his head to look at Dokja, eyes wide and pupils dilating, his breath caught in his throat. “Wh— what?”
Dokja smirks at his reaction and laughs. “What’s that look for?”
Yoo Joonghyuk is lost for words. It's such a sight, and Dokja wishes he could bring out his phone to capture it. Oh, well. He's sure he’ll remember it anyway. “I—” Yoo Joonghyuk starts, swallowing hard. “You just said husband.”
“Yeah. And?” Dokja shrugs. “We already married in my mind. In my dreams, too.” He cocks his head slightly. “Aren't you the same?”
Yoo Joonghyuk blinks at Dokja, and breathes so hard that it’s almost worrying, and he drops his head to his shoulder. “I fucking love you,” he manages, slightly trembling. “God, I’d lay it all for you.”
Dokja chuckles softly, and reaches up to run his hand through Yoo Joonghyuk's hair. “You say such things to me and you’re telling me we’re not married yet at this point? Come on, Hyuk-ah.”
20.
“I will propose to you,” Yoo Joonghyuk promises, head still on Dokja’s shoulder and reaching out a hand to rub his ring finger. “I’ll make this come true.”
“If you want to,” Dokja says. “But anyway, it was already written in our subconscious minds, and in our hearts. So if it already happened there, isn't it already true?”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s heart aches. He loves him so much it hurts. “It is,” he says. “But we’ll have to engrave it into reality, love, and I swear I’ll make it happen. I’ll make it so that we manifest it into reality and I’ll be yours and that fact will be immortalized, because the most tangible evidence is there.”
Dokja is quiet for a moment. “Mhm. Okay. I’d love that.”
“Yeah. So wait for me, okay?”
“Of course.” He pauses, and turns to whisper in his ear, “Spoiler alert though: the answer is yes. It’s always yes if it's you.”