Chapter Text
Harry stood in the air, now that he was with his parents again he could no longer fly like he did during the school year. But no force on earth would keep him bound to the ground. And not being allowed to ride the winds also had its good sides. For one he could focus on the other abilities he had disregarded before. Using his winds to scout out territory he could not see, creating wind blades (while he could already create blades, he had practically no control over them) and using his winds to shield himself and others.
An explosion blew out one of the Cathedral’s windows. Harry ignored it. Blaise screamed “THEO!!!” Harry ignored it. Theo jumped out of the window screaming “LIKE A BOSS!”. Harry ignored it. Theo ran across the herb garden, Blaise hot on his heels. At some point they started up the lawn sprinkler. Harry ignored it. Theo grabbed one of the rune-enhanced flamethrowers (Godric had them lying around, Merlin knows why) holding it against the water drops and loudly singing “I set fire to the rain”. Blaise tackled Theo, sending the flamethrower flying into the hedge where it did not set fire to the rain but to Salazar’s precious rose bushes. At that point Harry knew that he had to intervene.
With a few swift movements Harry let the winds gather the water from the sprinkler and extinguished the fire. Blaise meanwhile was regaining his breath. “We shouldn’t have introduced him to muggle culture. Especially not to the sweets.” heaved the incubus.
“You are only realizing this now? I thought that was clear when he used his wand to destroy most of the furniture whilst screaming Doctor Who quotes at everyone and everything.”
“Thank god for this being a highly magical place otherwise we all would have been expelled from Hogwarts at least ten times by now. And it’s barely a month into summer vacation. By the way…why are you parents away so much? Not that I mind but them being away kind of is the reason that Theo is able to go…wild…like this.”
“I don’t know. But I do intend to find out. Which of course will be a piece of cake. I can blackmail them by telling them that I will send compromising pictures of them to the other.”
““Compromising pictures”? Do they cheat on each other? And can you even say that they cheat on each other, considering that they did not get back together yet, which is kind of a miracle in itself?”
“They do not cheat on each other. But if your sexually frustrated partner who desires you very much gets a picture of you in a…revealing outfit…let’s just say I have it on good authority that neither Salazar nor Godric have that much self-control…”
A scream from the Cathedral cut their conversation short.
“Sounds like Theo found Regulus again. Come on, let’s save him. I kind of like having a little brother, especially such a cinnamon roll as Regulus.”
“My family, putting the Fun into Dys-FUN-ctual since 2007”
Harry was carrying an unresponsive Regulus to the couch while Blaise was off, chasing Theo again. One could merely hear several cries of “Basinga!” from different points of the house.
“Hey, Regulus? Can you hear me?”
“He kept ranting about a guy called Chuck Norris. Apparently that person can do incredible things. Maybe we should recruit him if Voldemort ever comes back to life.” Said Regulus before falling sideways onto the couch.
“Oh dear Mother Magic herself, Reg, wake up!” said Harry, he could hear Theo approaching again. Judging by Regulus’ condition he might not survive another encounter with a sugar crazed Nott Heir.
“This is the number of Regulus Black. I am currently unavailable, so please leave a message after the tone.”
“Well, I am really sorry to do this but this seems to be the only way: Yo mama so fat her boggart took one look at her and turned into a head of lettuce.” Regulus grunted. Harry could see Theo poking out behind one of the pillars. Well, time to bring out the big guns:
“Yo mama so ugly, even a dementor wouldn’t kiss her!”
Regulus burst out laughing: “Yeah, that bitch totally was!” Harry grabbed him and ran…
Three hours and an unhealthy amount of pop-culture references later…
Blaise, Regulus and Harry stood back to back in the crypt of the Cathedral (why a fake-cathedral would need a crypt was a mystery for another time). They had lured Theo down here but had lost sight of him in the process. The only thing that clued them to Theo’s location was the constant echoing giggle (have you ever heard a maniacal giggle in a shadowy crypt? Because that is guaranteed to be creepy if you are not the one giggling) and the occasional movement in the shadows.
“Well, drastic situations call for drastic measures!” said Blaise.
“They don’t!” said Harry.
Before they could start arguing, Regulus intervened: “Maybe this one does.” His smile was still rather shaky from his episode on the couch.
“Okay then” Blaise cupped his hands to his mouth “Ravenclaws are all stuck up nerds who don’t know a good time if it bit them in the arse!”
“Are not!” screamed Theo, popping out behind a coffin too close to them for comfort.
“STUPEFY!” screamed Harry, sending Theo tumbling backwards.
“So~~~~” drawled Blaise “Do we just…let him lie here?”
“No, I’ll keep him were I can see him. It’s best if we just tie him up and hang him on the chandelier in the nave.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
It was this way that Sirius and Angiola found them five hours later, Theo dangling from the ceiling, Harry, Blaise and Regulus piled on one another. They slowly uncoiled the different limps of the boys and Sirius carried the two Black family members to the guest room, while Angiola coaxed Harry awake.
One sleepy azure eye opened: “What time is it?” he mumbled.
“It’s around half past ten in the evening. Harry I am sorry to be the one to tell you but…you have been summoned in front of the Wizengamot for a trial…I’ll explain on the way.”
“Suns and Stars” – by Audiomachine (from the trailer for “PAN”)
“This is the 22nd day of the Potter/Emrys-LeFay trial on the matter of custody for Harry Potter-”
“Excuse me, sir, but my name is not Harry Potter but Hadrian Zephyrus Emrys-LeFay. Official documents will attest to that.” Harry said absentmindedly while internally he was screaming. Apparently the Potters – for whatever reason – had decided to drag him back into their family. And Godric and Salazar had been fighting them on that since the beginning of summer break.
“The documents we have been handed show your name to be Harry Potter.” Said Madam Bones.
“These documents are probably from Hogwarts then. I corrected that mistake on the beginning of term last year and find myself surprised that it has not been taken care of.” At that Harry turned to look Dumbledore straight into his twinkling blue eyes. Glacier blue met sky azure. Harry could feel the old man trying to dig into his mind. But to no avail, he blocked the old man out whilst starting his own attacks. And what he found was more than displeasing. The Potters had stated that they wanted Harry back, since he turned out to be quite a prodigy at magic. Dumbledore supported this notion in hopes of gaining another spy in Slytherin. Harry was looking for the other spy’s identity when Dumbledore broke eye contact.
“Your documentation states that you have not been banned from the Potter family tree, meaning that your current guardians never had the right to adopt you.” Said Dumbledore in his grandfatherly tone.
“You, I and any competent member of the Wizengamot knows that what you are saying is complete and utter nonsense Headmaster. The Potter’s formally disowned me and hence gave way to anyone who wished to adopt me.”
“Well, but the Potters are still your family. And I know for a fact that they always treated you like a family member.”
“So you count “putting a 15 month old toddler protected by only a thin blanket on the front porch of magic hating, abusive muggles on a cold November night” as being treated like family?”
“I-”
“You know what, I do not care whether or not the Potters want me in their family again. I am happy where I am and I can give you seven simple reasons why you should listen to me: Reason one:”
“Now, now, Harry, my boy that is not-”
“Let me repeat what I said to you in fall last year: I. Am. Not. Your. Boy. And you have no right to call me Harry. That is a nickname reserved to family and friends. A group neither you nor the Potters belong to. Now let me talk. Albus. Too-many-Merlin-damned-middle-names. Dumbledore. Back to the start. The first reason: As I stated before, the Potters abandoned me with magic hating muggle relatives. I cannot return into such an environment, because I dread what might happen if they decide to abandon me again. Reason Number 2: Not only where my parents the ones to save me from that horrible life as a muggle’s house elf, they also gave me back my self-esteem and anything else the muggles tried to beat out of me. Reason Number 3:” At this point Harry jumped over the witness stand and started walking around the room in a slow pace, assessing each Gamot member.
“I was sorted into Slytherin House, which the Potters are strictly against. So they will either try to mould me into the perfect little brother to their illustrious child or they will shun and insult me once we are out of the public eye. Both options are no suitable environment for any child to grow up in. Reason Number 4.” He had crossed the room half way by then.
“I have friends in Slytherin who belong to long lines of Dark Families. If I suddenly belong to a Light Family they cannot keep up the friendship without risking social suicide. And the Light children will not accept me because I am “an evil snake”. In short, if you force me to become a Potter you also sentence me to a life-long isolation from other people. Which of course would displease me.” Azure eyes glowed eerily in the dark “And you do not want me displeased.” Said Harry in a demonic voice (think Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls).
“Reason Number 5: The Potters cared for me a little over a year. My parents have been doting on me since 5 and a half years. It was them who rushed to my aid during the Philosopher’s Stone incident a month ago. They are the ones keeping me safe. And I don’t think that will change anytime soon. Which brings me to Reason Number 6:”
He had now reached the ranks where the Lords and Ladies of the most influential houses sat, meaning he stood before Sirius, Lucius Malfoy, Dowager-Duchess Longbottom, the Lovegood family, Theo’s grandfather, Amos Diggory, James Potter, Hermione (for Ravenclaw) and his fathers.
“Not only have these two men been parents to me, but the best one could ever have. They have given me anything I wanted, they taught me everything I know. They, of course reeled me in when I was being unreasonable and brattish. They told me to keep my mind open and how to navigate this strange new world that the seven-year-old Me was thrown into. I was allowed to be myself around them, I had no need to be afraid anymore of using my magic.”
With a few well measured steps he was in front of Dumbledore. “And lastly, the 7th reason: Whatever you may decide. I have the power to overrule all of you and do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, with whoever the fuck I want and wherever the fuck I want. I am Heir to four of the Imperial Houses, and Lord of one. So please, spare valuable time and paperwork and get something important done for once. Like, I don’t know, stop the discrimination against muggle-raised students for example. They are thrown into this world which is far too much to take in during the few hours teachers are allowed to help them get their supplies. You claim that they all return to the muggle world after graduating Hogwarts. Well, how can you be surprised? They are forced into a world they can only understand when they read through at least five etiquette and history books whilst being constantly looked down upon by blood bigots. Why don’t you start there? Once you are finished we can talk again about taking me away from my FAMILY!” the last word was echoed once more in a demonic tone, blue eyes icy and furious.
With a long breath Harry pulled himself together: “Now can you please let me go home? I have a friend dangling from my living room ceiling and I do not know how much longer the chandelier will hold him.” Turning sharp on his heels he left the court room. He heard outraged screams promising that “THIS IS NOT OVER!” but he did not care. He could take them all on any day.
“The Legend Begins” by Audiomachine (from “Tree of Life”)
Ollivander’s was as dusty as ever, but nobody minded. They were here to finally get Regulus a wand. As usual Ollivander was spot on (that little play of trying out many wands was for his non-friends customers): “12 inches, Acacia and Laurel, Phoenix feather, a wand with character. After hearing of the astounding results produced by your two companions and their best friend, I found it necessary to further experiment with dual woods. This one is a bit…testy I would say. But rest assured you will learn handle its temper…most likely before any loss of limbs.”
Regulus nodded awkwardly and payed for his wand. Outside he asked: “Does he do that often?”
“He did it for all of us, though not in such a drastic manner.” Replied Blaise. Regulus paled.
“It’s alright.” Said Harry. “He probably said that to give you a little hint to what may be the best path for you. You having three creatures involved with your wand is quite a rarity. So he just saw potential for greatness and gave you a little push into that direction.”
Grey eyes, so much like his brother’s spoke of silent gratitude. Harry smiled as they went to Flourish and Blott’s to get their school books. But seemingly fate had other plans: The book store was overflowing with witches screaming about “Gilderoy Lockhart”.
“How about we owl order this year? I do not want to get in there. We would probably be squished. How about we go to Fortescue’s instead?” Offered Godric. The pre-teens grinned, running ahead.
“Let’s just hope that all this commotion is not an omen for more turbulences this year.” Sighed Salazar.
“Oh, come on, Sal, where would be the fun in that?” grinned Godric.
TBC