Chapter Text
"Did you see Zooble's face when that catapult launched them into the chocolate river?"
"Oh my god! The look of complete betrayal! Like the universe had personally insulted them!"
"Their parts just scattered EVERYWHERE. They had to rebuild themselves while covered in chocolate sauce!"
"You laughed for ten straight minutes!"
"I did not—"
"Jax, you snorted! That adorable little rabbit snort you do when you're trying not to lose it!"
"It's not adorable! And I don't snort!"
"You absolutely snort."
"That's terrible! I don't sound like that!"
"You totally do! Ask Ragatha, she'll back me up!"
"She's biased. She thinks everything I do is cute because she's in mom-mode."
"True. Remember that 'Harvest Maze' adventure? When we got stuck in that cornfield for like, three hours?"
"Don't. That... that wasn't funny, man. The... the holes. They're just... wrong."
"Hey, you made it, didn't you? You just grabbed my arm, refused to let go, and cussed out every single stalk of corn we passed. It was hilarious."
"It was... unnerving."
"You're baby. Accept it."
"You're only like two inches shorter than me!"
"Two inches of concentrated charisma and amphibian excellence."
"...I guess today was pretty fun, wasn't it?"
"It was! See? You can relax sometimes."
"Yeah yeah i know but..."
"Hey...Jax..."
"Yes...?"
"Promise me something?" Promise me no matter what happens, you'll keep being funny. You'll keep making people laugh."
"That's a weird thing to—"
"Promise me, Jax. Promise me you'll have fun. That you'll find a way to enjoy things."
" Ribbit, you're scaring me. Why are you talking like this?"
"Jax....Just promise. Please?"
"I... okay. I promise."
"Good, hey, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, of course."
"If you had to pick... like, if someone asked what you are here, what would you say?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your role. Your... thing. Ragatha's the cheerful one, Kinger's the crazy one, Zooble's the grumpy one. What are you?"
"I don't know. I'm just... me?"
"That's the problem though, isn't it? We can't just be ourselves anymore. We need to be something simpler. Something that can survive this place."
...
"You're the funny one."
"What?"
"The funny one! You make everyone laugh without even trying. You panic about everything but somehow make it endearing. You care so much it becomes this beautiful, ridiculous thing."
"I'm not funny—"
"Remember that cannon? The stupid popcorn cannon we built to shoot at the Sun?"
"Yeah?"
"Ragatha laughed so hard i thought she was gonna pass out!"
"Yeah. She did laugh pretty hard."
"Because YOU'RE funny, you idiot! You make things better just by being yourself! You panic about everything, you overthink every single thing, but somehow you turn it into something that makes people smile! You're MY funny bunny who makes everything less terrible!"
"The funny one."
"The funny one!
"The funny one."
"The FUNNY ONE! Promise me you'll keep being that! Promise me no matter what happens, you'll keep making people laugh! Keep having fun! Don't let this place break that part of you!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The funny one!"
"The f u n n y o n e !"
"Th e f u n n y o n e !"
"T h e f u n n y o n e !"
"T h e f u n n y o n e !"
"T h e f u n n y o n e !"
"T h e f u n n y o n e !"
"T̴̰̈ḧ̵́e̷͝ ̸̽f̴̈́u̵̇n̷̈́n̴̽y̵̎ ̷̇o̶̅n̸̎e̷̊!̵̍"
"T̶̗̪̍h̶̰̒e̸̪͋ ̷̰̈f̶̰̄ų̸̔n̴̰̓n̸̙̈́y̸̰̓ ̴̙̽o̴̰̊n̷̰̎e̷̪̋!̴̙̇"
"T̷̡̳̮̾̆h̴̰̞̑̄e̵̜̫̿ ̶̜̗̀f̷̡̈́u̸̞̐n̶̰̙̽n̴̙̪̓y̶̜̗̾ ̷̙̰̇o̴̡̞̊n̷̜̪̾ḛ̸̙̿!̴̞̗̇"
"T̶̢̢̡̳̮̞̻̘̥̰̙̪̗̦̾̆̄̈́̑̓ḣ̴̝̞̰̱̲̙̄̌̎ë̵̜̫̞̻̰̗̪̥̙̦́̿̈́̾̑ ̶̜̞̗̝̰̮̪̻̙̦̱̀̈́̄̊̽̓̇f̷̡̢̳̮̞̻̥̰̞̘̙̱̈́̑̓̄u̸̢̝̞̰̱̦̙̪̗̇̐̄̾̌n̶̞̰̙̝̱̦̪̻̘̽̓̈́̄̌̇n̴̝̙̪̞̰̗̦̱̲̻̓̈́̾̄̑̌y̶̜̝̞̗̦̰̙̪̱̾̈́̓̄̌ ̷̙̝̞̰̗̦̪̱̲̇̈́̄̾̌o̴̡̢̞̰̙̝̪̗̦̱̊̄̈́̓̾̌n̷̜̝̞̪̰̗̦̙̱̾̈́̄̓̌e̸̝̞̰̙̪̗̦̱̲̿̄̈́̓̾̌!̴̞̝̗̰̙̪̦̱̇̄̈́̓̾"
"T̴̨̛̠̙̭̼̗̫̯̮̈̀̈́̆͆͝ḩ̷̞̪̲̤̊͗̎̋̄e̷̢̹͎̽̄ ̶̢̰̗̮̼͎̆̾̊̓̽̓̂f̴̗̺͌̃̿̀ŭ̷̮̗̼̻n̶̡̘̪̗̐̇̊ņ̷̤̬̺̞̫̈́̓͐̾̍y̷̰̱̱̟̦̪̅̑ ̶̭̘̰͂ơ̶̮̘̓̾̏́̃ñ̵̰̗̘̼̈̐e̸̞̙̽̐̏"
"T̵̨̀ĥ̴̯e̶̛̩ ̴̻̽f̸̱̾ü̵̞n̴̘̋n̸̝̉y̷̤̑ ̵̟̒ö̴́n̵̤̊ë̴̞́"
"T̴h̶e̷ ̴f̶u̵n̶n̷y̷ ̸o̵n̴e̶"
"T̸̀ẖ̶̄e̵̍ ̷̓f̴̿ų̸̇n̶̔n̷̽y̸̾ ̴̎ò̶n̸̈́ë̶"
"T̵h̸e̷ ̶f̶u̷n̵n̴y̷ ̸o̸n̷e̶"
"T̷̈h̴̾ë̵́ ̷̇f̴̈́ų̸̇n̴̽n̸̎ẙ̷ ̵̍ö̴n̷̈ë̶́"
"Ṫ̶h̴̽ë̶́ ̸̇f̵̈́ų̴̇n̸̎n̴̋ȳ̶ ̴̍ö̵́n̷̈ë̶..."
L̵̛̤̳̟̺o̴̢̨͓̮͇͖̯͔͕n̸͓͚͇̟̖̖͙͎l̷͇͍͔͖͚y̸̛̞͓̹͙̙͎ ̴͙̝̻͇o̸͙͈̫͚n̷̝͔̖͕̝̰e̴̖̟̳̮
B̵̨͙͉r̴͔̰͖͔̮̗̖͙o̶̙̟̝̯̳k̷͈̝̺̪̹̻̞̘e̴͙̺̲̬͓n̶̳̰̻͔̞̖̮ ̷̡̯̮̮o̸͍̼͇̩n̵͇͍͙̱̪ḛ̴̛̺͍̼
L̷̡̘̻͙̬̬̲o̴̺̼̯̖̦s̷̨̤̩̙͙t̵̖̳͈̹͍̳ ̶̤͍o̴̗̳̰̱͕n̸͍͉͍e̷̛͈̩̥͓
T̴̐͝h̵̾̈́e̷͋͝ ̶̄̈́s̵͂͝h̶͌̀ä̸́̑t̵͗͘t̴͊͂e̷͌́r̸̈́͘e̶͛͘d̴͘͝ ̷̛͠o̵͛͊n̸͑̄ë̷́̐…
T̸͑͗h̷͑͝e̴̛͛ ̷̿̑f̶̄̿a̸͌̿d̵̚͝i̶̽͠n̸̾͛g̷͂̈́ ̵͌̄o̶͑͋n̸͊͌e̷͛͝…
T̷͗̔h̵͐̍e̶̿͝m̷̓͠o̴̓͝ǹ̴͗s̴̈́͝ẗ̷́͝r̷̀͘o̶͗̀u̷͗̈́s̷͑̈́ ̴͑͂o̷͐̚n̸̚͝e̵͊͝…
M̷̢͙̝e̶̛̟̱̥̝̟͖̞s̴̡͍̖̱̪͉̲̫s̴̨̗̤y̸̛̤̯̖̪̯̙̖ ̶͉͙o̸̡̼̪n̷̛̰͉̩̝e̷̡͍̙̪̦
D̸͍͉͖̥̫̗̰a̷͎̹̰̗̺͈͖̖m̵̨̻̞͍̞̪̺͍n̶̳̗̩e̴͍̬̻d̶̢͖͈̻͈ ̸͎̱͈̞̬o̵̖̗n̶̝̮ę̸̳̦̳̗
T̷͠͝h̴̑̎͘e̴͌͂ ̵̇͊f̵͆͛͗͌̕u̴͐̚͠ǹ̴̚n̸͐̀ẏ̵͝ ̴͂̈̕ò̴͛n̷̓̈́́e̷̚͝?
T̷̽̈́͛̏h̴͂͘̕e̸͗̔͝ ̴͑͝l̵̄̏o̷͗͠n̵͝͝e̶͐͝l̷͑̿y̴̋̕͝ ̸̔͛o̴̎͛n̷͑͝e̷̐͑…
T̵͛͘͝h̴̔͊e̵̿̏ ̶̓͘b̸͌̾r̶͂̐o̷͑̄k̵̈́̿e̸͋͑n̷͌͐ ̶̑͝ȏ̴̚n̵̛͝ȅ̸͝…
...
...
...
The funny one…
Jax jolted awake, his hands clutching at his sheets. The phantom sensation of something warm was still clung to him but he couldn't remember what. Didn't want to remember anyway.
His room was dark. Always fucking dark when he woke up like this.
He sat on the edge of his bed for a minute rubbing his face. His hands were shaking slightly, which pissed him off. Get your shit together, asshole.
The mirror on his dresser reflected back a mess. Ears drooping, that stupid lost look in his eyes that made him want to punch something.
"God, you look stupid," he told his reflection.
He splashed water on his face from the basin. The cold helped a little, but his hands were still shaking. Fucking pathetic.
Same shit, different day. Wake up, put on the mask, be the funny one, hurt people before they can hurt you. Rinse and repeat until abstraction. A perfect feedback loop.
Time for the daily performance. Jax stared at himself in the mirror and tried on his usual smirk.
Attempt one: He pulled his mouth into a smile. It looked more like he was in pain.
"Fu[BOING!]," he said.
What a funny sound.
Jax never swore. Hadn't in... how long? He genuinely couldn't remember. Never needed to, that wasn't his bit.
But yesterday, fighting with Pomni...
Are you a cartoon character, Jax?
Are you still the funny one?
"Dam[HONK!] it."
Attempt two: better, but still looked forced as hell.
This shit was getting harder every day. Especially after yesterday's clusterfuck with Pomni. How she'd looked at him after he said he'd forget her... Christ, he was such an asshole.
Attempt three: there it was. That lazy, cruel grin that said 'I don't give a shit about anything.' Perfect.
"Showtime, funny boy," he said bitterly to his reflection.
He straightened his overalls, fixed his ears so they sat right, made sure every detail screamed 'perfectly obnoxious rabbit who definitely didn't have a breakdown yesterday.'
Time to go fuck with some people.
Jax opened his door and stepped into the hallway. He could hear voices from the kitchen, the sound of Caine probably setting up whatever fresh hell he had planned for today. Everyone was awake by now, which meant he had to be "on" until he could find somewhere to hide again.
He walked down the hall, past all the doors with their little pictures. For a few seconds he stared at Kaufmo's crossed-out nameplate.
Tsk. He looked away.
His eyes drifted to Ribbit's door next to it. The one that had been empty for years now. Jax closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
No time for this bullshit. Move along.
"Morning, crazy!" he called out as he spotted Kinger wandering the hallway in his usual confused state. "Sleep well in your pillow fort?"
Kinger looked up at him with those wide, staring eyes. "Oh! Jax! Yes, I slept very well, thank you for asking. I had the most interesting dream about butterflies and..." He paused, tilting his head. "You know, you remind me of someone I used to know. Someone who used to make jokes when they were sad."
Jax's smile faltered for a split second before snapping back into place.
"Ha! Well, I'm never sad, so that can't be right," he said, already walking past Kinger. "Catch you later, nutjob!"
Gangle was sitting at the table with Zooble, her tragedy mask firmly in place but she seemed... calmer than usual. More grounded. Zooble had their hand on her shoulder, and she wasn't flinching away from the contact.
"Good morning, Jax," Gangle said quietly when she saw him.
"Morning, drama queen!" Jax replied cheerfully, grabbing a plate. "No tears before breakfast, I hope? It ruins the appetite."
Zooble shot him a look that could melt steel. "Leave her alone."
"What? I'm being nice! I asked about her emotional state and everything." Jax picked up an apple and examined it. "Very considerate of me, really."
He could feel their glares burning into his back as he loaded up his plate with random shit. A pastry here, some fruit there, whatever would give him an excuse to keep moving. Maybe he'd find Ragatha later and put a fake centipede in her coffee or something. The classics never got old.
The kitchen door opened and Pomni walked in. Their eyes met for exactly one second. Jax felt his stomach do something weird and annoying, so he immediately looked away and focused on his apple like it held the secret of the universe.
Fuck. Why did she have to come in here right now?
Pomni stood in the doorway for a moment, clearly looking around the room. Her eyes landed on him again and she took a small step forward.
No. No no no. Not happening.
"Hey Zooble," Jax said loudly, moving so he was standing directly between them and the door. "You should really teach Gangle how to hold a glass properly. Safety hazard and all that."
"What the fu[BOING!] are you talking about?"
"Just saying, accidents happen when people don't pay attention." Jax kept his back to Pomni, but he could feel her staring at him. Christ, why was this so hard?
Pomni cleared her throat softly. "Um, Jax? Could I—"
"Well, this has been fun, but I have important business to attend to," He turned toward the door, but Pomni was still standing there. She looked up at him with those big eyes, and he could see her trying to work up the courage to say something.
Don't look at her like that. Stop it.
"Excuse me," he said, trying to push past her.
"Jax, please," she said quietly, so only he could hear. "Can we just—"
"Nope. Busy. Very important things to do." He squeezed past her, making sure not to actually touch her because that would make everything worse.
While he walked away, he caught a glimpse of her face in his peripheral vision. She looked disappointed. Like she'd been hoping for something and he'd just crushed it.
His chest did this stupid tight thing that made him want to turn around and apologize. Tell her he was being an asshole because he was scared, not because he didn't care.
No. Stop it. You did the right thing.
She'll get over it. Find someone else to bother, someone who won't fuck up her life just by existing in the same room.
But the look on her face kept playing in his head like a broken record, and he hated how much it hurt to see her sad.
Once he was alone in the hallway, he leaned against the wall and let his fake smile drop completely, he rubbed his face, suddenly feeling tired as hell. "Just get through... get through today."
The apple tasted like cardboard, but he kept eating it anyway. Had to keep up appearances, even when no one was watching. Especially when no one was watching.
Down the hall, he could hear voices from the kitchen. Pomni was probably asking where he went. Someone was probably telling her to leave him alone, that he was just being a dick like always.
They weren't wrong.
But he couldn't get her face out of his head. That hurt look when he'd pushed past her...
Fuck this. He needed to get away from here before someone else decided to have a heart-to-heart. Jax pushed off the wall and headed toward the quieter part of the circus, where most people didn't hang out.
He found an empty corridor near the back and slumped against the wall. Finally, somewhere he could breathe without having to perform.
His hands were shaking again.
"Get your sh[BOING!] together," he muttered, but his voice came out pathetic.
Why the hell didn't she hate him? Any normal person would've written him off by now, told him to fuck off and stayed away. But not Pomni. She kept trying and looking at him with those eyes that saw too much.
This was exactly what happened with Ribbit. Someone got too close, started caring, and then—No. Stop. Don't think about that.
But he couldn't stop. It was like picking at a scab. Ribbit had looked at him the same way sometimes. Like he mattered.
Look how that turned out.
Jax slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, knees drawn up. His ears drooped and he didn't have the energy to fix them.
"Stupid," he said to the empty hallway. "So stupid."
He should have been meaner in the kitchen. Should have said something cruel enough to make her give up for good. Instead he'd just run away like a coward.
The worst part was how much he'd wanted to turn around. When she'd said "please" in that soft voice, every instinct had screamed at him to stop being an asshole and just talk to her.
Yeah no. Pomni was living in his head rent free at this point.
Maybe if he thought hard enough, he could reach inside his own skull and physically remove her. Just yank out whatever part of his brain had decided she mattered and toss it into the void. Problem solved! Back to being the asshole who didn't care about anyone.
He needed to remove her. That was the smart and safe play.
...So why didn't he want to do it?
He was spiraling so fast that he didn't even register the footsteps coming down the hallway until they were way too close. His head snapped up, panic flooding through him, and he scrambled to get back on his feet. Tried to force the smile back on, be the jackass everyone expected, but his face wasn't cooperating. The mask wouldn't stick.
The footsteps were getting closer. Shit shit shit—
"Jax?"
Pomni appeared around the corner, looking uncertain but determined. Her eyes found him immediately and he watched her take in his rumpled appearance, his drooping ears, the fact that he'd been sitting on the floor like some kind of broken toy.
"There you are," she said softly. "I was looking for you."
"Well, congratulations. You found me." His voice came out harsher than he intended, but at least it was steady. "What do you want?"
She took a step closer. "I want to talk."
"Yeah, well, I don't." He straightened up, trying to look like he hadn't just been having a breakdown in an empty hallway. "So if you'll excuse me—"
"No." Pomni moved to block his path. "I'm not letting you run away again."
Jax felt something crack inside, that stubborn concern of her...It was too much. Too close to things he couldn't handle.
"I can't," he said, and his voice broke on the words. "I can't do this. I can't—"
The words died in his throat. What was he supposed to say? That he was terrified of caring about her? That he wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and hold her until the fear went away? He was so fucking tired of being scared. Tired of pushing away the one person who actually seemed to give a damn about him. But the alternative was worse. The alternative was watching her break down piece by piece until there was nothing left but another abstracted mess for Caine to clean up.
Jax's hands were shaking worse now. He pressed them against the wall behind him, trying to steady himself, but it wasn't working. His breathing was all wrong.
Pomni was staring at him and Jax could see the exact moment she realized he was falling apart. Her face softened, and that made everything so much worse because it meant she cared. It meant she was going to get hurt.
"Jax," she said quietly, and his name sounded different in her voice.
"Don't. Please don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you..." He swallowed hard. "Like you actually give a sh[BOING!] about what happens to me."
Pomni's mouth opened slightly, like she was going to say something, then closed again. She looked nervous but she didn't back away.
Instead, she took a deep breath.
"Maybe I do," she said, so quiet he almost missed it. "Maybe I—"
SNAP!
Reality folded in on itself like origami, colors bleeding together in digital chaos. Jax felt his stomach drop from the familiar sensation of teleportation.
When the world stopped spinning, he was standing in the main area of the circus. Pomni was beside him, looking just as disoriented as he felt.
And there was Caine, floating in front of them with his usual manic energy, completely oblivious to the fact that he'd just interrupted the most terrifying moment of Jax's recent existence.
"GOOD MORNING, MY SUPERSTARS!" Caine bellowed, spinning in the air like. "I hope you're all ready for another THRILLING day of adventure and character building!"
The others appeared around them in flashes of light. Ragatha stumbled slightly, Kinger materialized upside down, Gangle landed gracefully with Zooble appearing last, looking thoroughly annoyed.
"Today's magnificent quest will take you deep into the bowels of digital danger!" Caine gestured wildly, and suddenly a massive holographic title appeared above them in glowing letters:
THE DIGITAL DEPTHS
"Ooh, fancy," Jax muttered, his voice back to its usual sarcastic drawl. The mask was firmly in place again, like nothing had happened in that hallway.
Caine snapped his fingers and the circus around them shifted, walls sliding away to reveal a massive underground facility. Metal corridors stretched out in multiple directions, lit by flickering emergency lights. The whole place had that classic sci-fi horror aesthetic that screamed 'you're all gonna die horribly.'
"In this DELIGHTFUL subterranean maze," Caine continued, "you'll be collecting ancient power cores while avoiding deadly security systems, mutant creatures, and of course, the ever-present threat of oxygen deprivation!"
"Oxygen deprivation?" Pomni asked, sounding alarmed.
"Oh yes! The life support systems have been failing for decades! You'll need to find breathing apparatus scattered throughout the facility, or risk slow, agonizing suffocation as your lungs fill with toxic gases!"
Ragatha raised her hand tentatively. "Caine, that sounds—"
"THRILLING? I know!" Caine beamed. "But wait, there's more! The facility is also home to several experimental bio-weapons that have been breeding in the dark for who knows how long! They hunt by sound, so you'll need to be very, very quiet as they tear apart anyone they catch!"
Kinger tilted his head. "Are we going to die?"
"Probably! Multiple times! But don't worry, you'll respawn at the nearest checkpoint. Though you might lose some memories in the process. Or gain some new, horrifying ones from the creatures that eat your face!"
"Jeez," Jax said under his breath.
Zooble crossed their arms. "Okay, what's the catch?"
Caine blinked. "Catch?"
"The teamwork thing. What's the trick? Do we have to hold hands while we're getting mauled by monsters, or what?"
"Oh! Well, the facility requires multiple people to operate certain systems simultaneously. Ancient alien technology, you know how it is. Some doors need two people to open, some puzzles require coordinated timing, that sort of thing."
Zooble let out a long, tired sigh. "So we're stuck together. Great."
Caine's expression faltered slightly. "Well... yes. But that's the fun part! Working together! Building trust! Strengthening your bonds through shared trauma!"
"Shared trauma," Zooble repeated flatly.
"...Yes?"
"Right." Zooble looked around at the group. "Anyone else think this sounds like a nightmare designed by someone who's never actually had to work with other people?"
Caine's smile twitched. "I... what do you mean by that?"
"I mean you've designed another death trap that forces us to rely on each other while everything tries to kill us. It's like team building exercises designed by a serial killer."
"I don't understand," Caine said, his voice getting slightly higher. "This is a classic cooperative adventure format! Heroes working together to overcome impossible odds! It's... it's fun!"
"Caine. Do you actually know what fun is?"
Caine's left eye started twitching. "Of course I know what fun is! I'm the fun one! I make the fun! I AM fun!"
"Are you, though?"
"YES! I... you... why are you being so difficult today?!"
"I'm being realistic," Zooble said. "This isn't fun. This is psychological torture with extra steps."
Caine's entire body went rigid. "You know what?" he said, his voice deadly quiet. "Fine. FINE! You want to complain about everything? You want to question my methods? You want to act like nothing I do is good enough?"
The air around him started crackling with digital energy.
"Figure it out yourselves."
"Caine—" Pomni started.
"NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS!" Caine's eyes flashed. "Adventure waits for no one!"
SNAP!
When Jax's vision cleared, they were standing on a metal platform in what looked like the inside of a giant computer. Everything was sleek and futuristic, with glowing blue circuits running along the walls and that ominous sci-fi hum that meant 'you're probably gonna die.'
"Well, sh[BOING!]," Jax said, looking around. "This is new."
Equipment materialized around them in flashes of light. Sleek body suits that looked like something out of a space movie, complete with glowing trim and built-in helmets. The suits came with arm cannons that blinked with energy, shoulder pads that looked like they could stop a tank, and boots that had little thrusters on them.
Jax's was black with purple accents, because of fucking course it was.
"Finally," he said, pulling on the suit. "An outfit that matches my personality!"
Pomni's suit was red and blue with orange highlights, and when she put it on, it immediately started scanning her and beeping. The arm cannon felt heavy but perfectly balanced. "Uh, what's it doing?"
"Probably checking for brain activity," Jax replied. "Don't worry, it'll give up soon enough."
"Jax!" Ragatha scolded, adjusting her pink and blue suit.
"What? I'm being encouraging! I believe in her capacity for eventual brain function!"
The exit was right there, glowing and obvious, with a big sign that said "WAY OUT" in cheerful letters. But between them and freedom was a shimmering energy barrier and a floating hologram that read: "5 POWER CORES REQUIRED."
"Of course," Zooble muttered, their suit a mix of mismatched colors that somehow worked. "It's never that easy."
Kinger was staring at the layout of the facility, his suit a simple white and gold with a cannon that looked more advanced than anyone else's. "Oh... oh this is interesting..."
"What's interesting?" Pomni asked.
"Interconnected rooms... backtracking for power-ups... hidden passages..." Kinger's voice was clearer than usual. "This reminds me of a lone bounty hunter. So badass. Could take on an entire planet of hostile aliens and win."
He had this small smile on his face, like he was remembering his favorite story. "She was unstoppable once she got all her gear. Nothing could touch her."
Pomni found herself smiling back at him. It was the first genuine moment she'd had all day.
"Kinger? You okay?" Ragatha asked gently.
"Just brings back memories," he said. "Oh! Are we wearing space suits? I like space suits! Very practical for bounty hunting!"
Their helmets crackled to life with built-in communicators.
"Can everyone hear me?" Ragatha's voice came through clearly.
"Unfortunately," Jax replied.
"Testing, testing," Gangle said. "This is kind of cool."
"Great, now I can't escape your voices either," Zooble deadpanned.
Jax wandered over to the edge of the platform and looked down. There was a glowing green pool about twenty feet below, bubbling like some kind of toxic soup.
"Huh," he said. "Wonder if that actually kills us."
Ragatha followed his gaze and immediately backed away. "Jax, don't even think about—"
"Science!" Jax grabbed her by the shoulders and yeeted her right off the platform.
Ragatha's scream cut off when she hit the acid. There was a brief sizzling sound, then nothing.
Everyone stared at the empty pool in horror.
Three seconds later, Ragatha materialized back on the platform, soaking wet and pissed as hell.
"JAX!"
"Cool! So respawning works." Jax wiped his hands off like he'd just finished a minor task. "Anyway, who's hungry?"
"You just murdered me!"
"Temporarily! It was temporary murder. Totally different thing."
"How is that different?!"
"Well, you're not dead now, are you? So really, I did you a favor. Free bath!"
Pomni stared at him. "You're insane."
"Thank you! I try." Jax grinned at her, and for just a second, it almost looked genuine.
The platform lit up with different colored pathways leading off in various directions. Red, blue, yellow, green, purple - each one disappeared into the facility's depths.
"Looks like we're splitting up," Zooble observed. "What a surprise."
"Purple path for me!" Jax called out, already heading toward his route. "Try not to die too much while I'm gone. It's embarrassing."
"Wait," Pomni called after him. "Shouldn't we stick together?"
Jax paused at the entrance to his corridor. For just a moment, his expression changed, he wanted to say something, or maybe turn around.
Instead, he gave her a mock salute.
"See you on the flip side, jester," he said, and disappeared into the purple-lit tunnel.
Pomni stared after him, that familiar ache settling in her chest. Even here, even in this weird fucking space adventure, he was still running away from her.
"Pomni?" Ragatha touched her shoulder gently. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Pomni lied, heading toward the red pathway. "Let's just get this over with."
The red tunnel swallowed her up, leaving nothing but the sound of her boots on metal flooring and the static from her communicator. Somewhere in the purple tunnel, Jax was probably already finding creative ways to avoid talking to her through the comm system.
This was going to be a long damn day.
Kinger hit the dark sector first. The lights went out completely, leaving him in pitch black corridors that would have sent anyone else into a panic. But something fucking clicked in his brain. His movements got sharp and focused. Tactical.
He moved through the shadows like he'd done this shit before. Motion sensors picked up three hostiles. Kinger dropped them with precise shots before they even knew he was there. No wasted ammo. No hesitation. Each shot was calculated.
The enemies were some kind of mechanical spiders that skittered along the walls. In the dark, they were nearly invisible. But Kinger tracked them by sound, by the tiny clicks of their legs on metal. He moved like a goddamn ghost, taking them out one by one.
His artifact was sitting in a sealed chamber at the end of the corridor. A glowing blue core that hummed with energy. First one down.
"Uh, Kinger?" Ragatha's voice crackled through the comm. "You okay over there? We heard gunfire."
"Never better," he replied, and actually meant it for once.
"That was... really fast."
"Some things you don't forget," Kinger said quietly, then seemed to snap back. "Oh! I found a shiny thing!"
Meanwhile, Gangle was having the time of her fucking life. Her sector was crawling with security drones, and she'd found a tommy gun that fired energy blasts. The sound of continuous gunfire came through everyone's comms.
"Die! DIE! Take that you ugly—" Static cut her off, followed by more shooting.
"Gangle?!" Pomni called out.
"Sorry! These things are everywhere! But this gun is AMAZING!"
Ragatha and Zooble got stuck together in some kind of bio lab. Everything was clean and sterile, which should have been their first warning. Ragatha spotted something small and round with big eyes sitting in a containment unit.
"Awww, look at this little guy!" She pressed her face against the glass. "He's so cute!"
"Ragatha, don't—" Zooble started.
"But look at those eyes! He just wants to be friends!"
The thing unfolded. Eight spindly legs shot out from what had looked like a round body. Razor teeth emerged from what had seemed like a cute mouth. It threw itself against the glass hard enough to crack it, making a sound like a chainsaw mixed with a dying cat.
"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!" Ragatha scrambled backward, tripping over her own feet.
"I fu[BOING!]ing told you!" Zooble shot the thing through the glass. Twice. Just to be sure. Green goo splattered everywhere.
"Why do cute things always turn out to be horrible?!" Ragatha wailed.
"Because this place sucks," Zooble replied, stepping over the remains. "Come on, let's find our artifact before something worse shows up."
In the pyro sector, Pomni was having her own crisis. Her scanner kept beeping warnings about hostile entities and recommending heavy firepower.
The arm cannon felt too familiar in her hands. Too much like yesterday's disaster with the gun battle. Every time she looked at it, she could hear Jax's voice telling her that none of it mattered anyway.
The first wave of enemies came at her fast. Fire-based robots that moved like angry wasps, trailing flames and shooting superheated plasma bolts. Pomni flinched at her own weapon sounds, missing half her shots. Her breathing was all wrong. Too fast, too shallow.
"Come on," she muttered to herself. "Just point and shoot. How hard can it be?"
Pretty fucking hard, apparently. She kept hesitating, second-guessing herself, thinking too much about what she was doing instead of just doing it.
Then something clicked in her brain.
Muscle memory kicked in from yesterday's adventure. Her stance shifted automatically. The cannon stopped feeling like a foreign object and started feeling like an extension of her arm. She slid under a blast of fire and took out three enemies in one smooth motion.
"Holy sh[BOING!], I'm actually good at this!"
For about five minutes, Pomni felt like a complete badass. She was fast, accurate, unstoppable. The pyro sector became her personal playground. Energy blasts, perfect dodges, enemies dropping left and right like they were nothing.
She found herself grinning behind her helmet visor. This was actually fun. She was actually talented at something in this goddamn place.
Then…
"I'd move on... and probably forget about you."
Pomni's aim went to shit. The energy blast she'd been lining up went wide, missing the fire robot completely. It turned toward her, plasma cannon charging.
"Fuc [DING!] ," she muttered, diving behind cover. But her timing was off. The blast caught her shoulder, spinning her around.
Her health bar dropped to red.
Another robot flanked her while she was stumbling. Plasma bolt to the chest. Everything went white.
RESPAWN
Pomni materialized back at the sector checkpoint, totally pissed off. The pyro sector stretched out in front of her again, all her progress erased.
"Damn[HONK!] it!"
"Pomni?" Ragatha's voice crackled through the comm. "You okay over there? We heard you respawn."
"I'm fine," Pomni snapped, then immediately felt bad about it. "Just... miscalculated something."
"Happens to everyone," Kinger said cheerfully. "I once miscalculated gravity and fell into a pit seventeen times in a row!"
Pomni forced a laugh. "Thanks, Kinger."
But she wasn't fine. Jax's words kept playing in her head on repeat. I'd move on. Probably forget about you. Like she was nothing. Like yesterday meant nothing.
She raised her arm cannon at the first fire robot. Her hands were shaking slightly.
Focus, she told herself. Just focus.
The shot went wide again.
"Sh[DING!] t."
The robot's return blast caught her dead center. White flash. Respawn.
"Everything alright, Pomni?" This time it was Zooble. "That's two respawns in like three minutes."
"I'm FINE," Pomni said, louder than necessary.
Silence on the comms. She'd definitely snapped at them.
Third attempt. She made it halfway through the sector before a pack of flame wasps swarmed her. Yesterday, she would have dodged them easily. Today, she moved too slow, zigged when she should have zagged.
Respawn.
"Pomni—" Ragatha started.
"Don't." Pomni's voice was tight. "Just... don't, okay?"
She could hear the others exchanging worried glances through the static. Great. Now everyone thought she was losing it.
Maybe she was.
Fourth run through the sector. Fifth. Sixth.
Each time, Jax's voice got louder in her head. Each time, her aim got worse. Each time, she died stupider deaths.
I'd move on.
Miss.
Probably forget about you.
Die.
Respawn.
By the seventh attempt, Pomni was ready to throw her arm cannon at the nearest wall. Her confidence from earlier felt like a joke now. What had she been thinking? That she was actually good at this shit? That she mattered?
"I'm worried about Pomni," she heard Ragatha whisper through the comm, probably thinking her mic was off.
"She'll figure it out," Zooble replied. "Sometimes you gotta work through your own stuff."
Pomni wanted to scream. Work through what stuff? The stuff where the guy she cared about told her he'd forget she existed? The stuff where she was apparently so meaningless that her abstraction would be a minor inconvenience at best?
Eighth attempt. She made it to the boss of the sector, some massive fire elemental that shot lava bombs. Pre-Jax-breakdown Pomni would have taken it apart in thirty seconds.
Current Pomni got stepped on.
Respawn.
"Fu[BOING!] this," she muttered, and went silent on the comms completely.
Ninth attempt.
Finally, FINALLY, she managed to clear the damn sector. Wouldn't call it skill or talent or anything impressive, just pure stubborn rage refusing to let her quit even when every instinct screamed at her to give up.
The artifact was waiting for her in a sealed chamber. A glowing red core that pulsed like a heartbeat. She grabbed it and shoved it into her suit's storage compartment.
"Got the pyro core," she said into her comm, voice flat.
"Nice work!" Ragatha sounded relieved. "You okay? You went quiet for a while there."
"Just concentrating," Pomni lied.
The exit from the pyro sector led into a massive corridor with metal walls and flickering emergency lighting. Her scanner indicated the next area required two people to operate.
Great, teamwork. Just what she needed right now.
She walked down the corridor, her boots echoing on the metal floor. The walls were transparent here, like some kind of observation deck. She could see into other sections of the facility.
That's when she saw Jax on the other side of the glass, clearing out the rest of the purple sector with this eerie calm that felt completely wrong on him. Just shooting, moving, shooting, moving. Weird as hell considering that acrobatic showoff bullshit he'd been pulling against Kinger yesterday.
Hey, at least this meant what happened between them was eating him up as much as it was eating her, right? That counted for something? Right?
...God she was so tired.
The jackass was clearly on full autopilot though, or maybe he was just trying his absolute hardest to not acknowledge her existence until the last possible second. Either way, same energy.
Pomni moved toward the glass without really meaning to. Ten feet between them, but it felt like miles of bullshit neither of them wanted to wade through.
Jax cleared the last of the purple crystal things and turned, that's when he saw her.
He froze, that particular flavor of "oh fuck" that happens when you run into someone you've been actively avoiding and in a mere second he looked away and kept walking like she didn't exist.
"Jax," Pomni said into her comm.
No response.
"Jax, I know you can hear me."
He reached a control panel and started working on it, completely ignoring her.
"JAX."
"What?"
"Are you—"
"Busy right now, Pomni. Kind of in the middle of something."
She watched him through the glass. His movements were too careful, holding himself together by force of will.
"We need to work together for this next part," she said, reading the display on her side of the wall. "Door requires two people."
"Fine. You press your button when I tell you to."
That was it. Yesterday didn't exist apparently.
"Ready?" Jax asked, not looking at her.
She looked at her control panel. "Ready."
"Three, two, one, press."
She pressed the button. A mechanism hummed to life. Doors opened on both sides.
"Done," Jax said, and immediately started walking toward his exit.
"Jax, wait—"
"Nothing to wait for," he said without turning around. "Adventure continues. Good luck with your sector."
And he was gone, disappearing into the purple-lit tunnel like she'd imagined the whole thing.
Pomni stood there staring at empty glass, her reflection staring back at her. She looked like hell. Her suit was scuffed from all the respawning, her hair was a mess under her helmet, and her eyes looked tired.
Behind her reflection, she could see the corridor stretching out toward whatever fresh nightmare Caine had waiting for her, she closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.
I'd move on. Probably forget about you.
"Fu[BOING!] you too," she whispered to the empty hallway.
Time to find her next sector and pretend this was all fine. Her scanner indicated a checkpoint ahead, marked as a safe zone. Maybe one of the others would be there so atleast she could find someone to vent to before she completely lost her shit.
Pomni started walking, leaving nothing behind but empty space and flickering emergency lights.
While Pomni was praying to any god that would listen for someone to dump her feelings on, Jax was busy pretending everything was completely fine.
It was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine...except for the minor little issue of Pomni's face being burned into his retinas.
He kept walking, trying to blink away the image that wouldn't leave his eyes. The tunnel opened up into another crystal chamber, bigger than the last, packed with more enemies waiting to be slaughtered.
Perfect. What better way to avoid processing his feelings than mindless violence?
"Come on, you crystal fu[BOING!]s!" he called out, raising his cannon. "Let's dance!"
A pack of crystal wolves materialized from the walls. Jax opened fire, picking them off with ruthless efficiency.
"What's the difference between you guys and Kinger? Kinger's less transparent about being completely hollow inside!"
BLAM.
"Get it? Transparent? Because you're made of crystal? I'm hilarious."
But his heart wasn't really in the jokes. His brain kept drifting back to the glass barrier. To Pomni.
What if he'd handled that differently? What if instead of being a cold asshole, he'd actually... talked to her?
"Hey, Pomni. You okay? You look like you've been having a rough time."
"Yeah, well, your words from yesterday kind of fucked with my head."
"I... I didn't mean that. About forgetting you. I was just scared and said something stupid."
"Scared of what?"
"Scared of caring about you."
Jax shook his head violently. "Stop," he muttered, taking out a crystal golem with unnecessary force.
But his traitor brain kept going.
What if they'd worked that puzzle together and he'd actually talked to her? What if he'd made a joke that wasn't cruel? What if he'd seen her smile again like yesterday during their song?
What if he'd been honest about how much seeing her hurt and confused had made his chest feel tight and wrong?
"Stop."
What if he'd apologized? What if he'd told her he didn't mean what he said yesterday? What if—
"STOP!"
Jax unloaded his entire energy clip into a crystal formation, reducing it to sparkling dust for no reason except that he needed to destroy something.
"Stop thinking," he hissed to himself. "Stop imagining crap that's never gonna happen. Stop being a fu[BOING!]ing idiot."
Because that's all it was. Stupid fantasies. Pomni didn't actually want to help him, she was just being nice because that's what she did. She was nice to everyone, even assholes who told her they'd forget she existed.
He reloaded his cannon and kept moving through the sector. More enemies and things to kill to distract from the voice in his head that kept asking what if, what if, what if?
A pack of crystal wolves materialized from the walls. Jax took them out with ruthless efficiency.
"You're better company than most people here, you know that?" he said to the dissolving corpses. "At least you don't expect me to be a decent person."
But even as he said it, he could imagine Pomni's voice cutting through the comm static.
"That's not true and you know it."
"Shut up," he would say.
"Make me."
"STOP. STOP. STTTTTOOOOOOOOP!"
Jax screamed the last word. He fired wildly at everything in sight, destroying enemies and decorations alike in a frenzy of energy blasts.
When the dust settled, he was standing in a room full of rubble, breathing hard.
"Get your sh[BOING!] together," he told himself. "You're losing it."
Another one and another. Jax was in the zone now, that perfect state where nothing existed except him and the targets.
"That's what I'm talking about!" he shouted, taking out three at once with a ricochet shot. "This is fun! This is what fun looks like!"
But the word 'fun' tasted like ash in his mouth.
"Promise me no matter what happens, you'll find a way to enjoy it, to really have fun."
Jax stumbled, nearly missed his next shot.
"Sh[BOING!], Don't. Don't do this now."
"You're the funny one!."
"I'm the funny one," Jax said out loud, and it sounded pathetic even to him. "I'm the fu[BOING!]ing funny one."
He unloaded his cannon into the remaining enemies, kept firing long after they'd stopped moving, just pulverizing crystal formations into dust because he could and because it felt better than thinking.
He unloaded his cannon into the remaining enemies, firing long after they were dead, reducing crystal formations to dust just because he could.
"FUNNY!" he screamed at the empty chamber. "THIS IS HILARIOUS! LOOK HOW FU[BOING!]ING FUNNY I AM! EVERYONE'S LAUGHING! HA HA HA!"
The silence afterwards was the worst part. Jax stood in the middle of the wreckage, breathing hard, hands shaking, ears drooping in that pathetic way he hated. Didn't have the energy to fix them.
The funny one. What a fucking joke.
He wasn't funny. He was just cruel and mean and broken, pushing away anyone stupid enough to care about him because he was too much of a coward to risk going through that shit again.
The rabbit Ribbit had loved? That guy died the same day Ribbit did. What was walking around now was just leftovers. A mask wearing a mask wearing another mask, all the way down to nothing.
"Fu[BOING!] you, Ribbit," he said to the empty air, and god he hated himself the second it came out. "Fu[HONK!] you for making me promise that crap."
His legs gave out somewhere in the middle of that and he ended up sitting on a chunk of broken crystal, head in his hands.
"I'm sorry," he muttered into his palms. "I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to keep my promise but I don't... I don't know how to do this anymore."
Something caught his eye in the wreckage. The purple artifact, just sitting there like it had been waiting for him to finish his little mental breakdown before making itself useful.
He dragged himself upright, walked over, grabbed it. Pulsing purple core. Same shit everyone else probably found.
"There it is," he said. "Mission accomplished. Another successful day of being a totally functional, emotionally stable member of society."
He shoved the thing into storage and forced his ears back up, forced his face into something that might pass as his usual smirk if nobody looked too close.
Time to go find the others and pretend everything was fine and he definitely hadn't just screamed himself hoarse in a room full of dead crystal monsters.
"Showtime," he told his reflection in a crystal shard.
The reflection looked like shit , nothing like the asshole everyone expected.
Perfect.
The checkpoint was exactly what Pomni needed. Soft lighting, comfortable seating areas, and that blessed silence that meant no enemies were trying to murder her for five fucking minutes.
Ragatha was already there, sitting on a bench and looking like she'd had her own rough time. Her pink suit was scuffed up, and she had that tired but relieved expression of someone who'd just survived something unpleasant.
"Oh honey," Ragatha said when she saw Pomni walk in. "You look exhausted."
Pomni slumped onto the bench next to her. "Just been dying a lot. Nothing new."
"That's not just adventure fatigue." Ragatha's voice was gentle but knowing. "What happened?"
Pomni rubbed her face through her helmet visor. "Jax was... particularly difficult today."
"Ah." Ragatha nodded like that explained everything. "He can be a real pain sometimes."
"Sometimes?" Pomni let out a bitter laugh. "Try all the time. I don't know why I even bother trying to talk to him. He acts like I don't exist unless he's being cruel about it and the worst part is, yesterday during that stupid gun adventure, I actually thought we were connecting. He was teaching me about the game, we were singing together, he told me about his fears...I thought maybe he actually gave a Fuc[BOING!] about me. And then he ... destroyed it. Told me we were never friends. That he'd forget me if I abstracted."
Ragatha looked genuinely surprised. "Wait, you two were... bonding? During the shooting game?"
"Yeah, before he decided to rip my heart out for fun." Pomni's anger was building. "Why? What did you think was happening?"
"I... I thought he was trying to make you more like him. I was worried he was manipulating you into being cruel."
"What? No, he was..." Pomni stopped, thinking back. "He was actually encouraging me to be myself. Even the evil thing was just... playing around. He seemed like he was having genuine fun."
"Oh," she said quietly. "Oh, [BOING!]. He wasn't trying to corrupt you at all, was he?"
"What do you mean?"
Ragatha was quiet for a moment, looking down at her hands. "He wasn't always like that, you know."
Pomni raised an eyebrow. "Uh?"
"Just..." Ragatha caught herself, like she'd said too much. "He used to be different before."
"Before what?"
"Before... things got complicated." Ragatha's voice was careful. "Look, I'm not saying he's not being an [BOING!]hole right now, because he absolutely is. But there's more to it than just him being mean for fun."
"Are you seriously defending him right now?"
"No! God, no. What he's doing to you isn't okay." Ragatha turned to face her fully. "I just mean... maybe don't give up on him entirely. Not yet."
"I just don't understand why he's being like this, how am I supposed to get through to someone who won't even look at me?"
Ragatha was quiet for a long moment. Then she reached into her suit's storage compartment and pulled out a small package. Some kind of energy bar.
"Here," she said, offering it to Pomni. "You look like you haven't eaten anything since this morning."
"I'm fine—"
"You're not fine. You've been dying repeatedly for the last hour and you look ready to collapse." Ragatha's tone was firm but caring. "Eat something. Please."
Pomni took the energy bar reluctantly. It actually tasted pretty good, like chocolate and peanut butter. "Thanks."
"As for why you shouldn't give up on Jax..." Ragatha adjusted something on Pomni's shoulder pad that had gotten knocked loose. "Because someone needs to believe he can be better. And I think that someone might be you."
"That's a lot of responsibility to put on me."
"I'm not saying you have to fix him. That's not your job." Ragatha's hands were gentle as she fixed a scuff on Pomni's helmet. "I'm just saying... he responds to you differently than he does to the rest of us."
"Yeah, he's extra mean to me."
"No, that's not—" Ragatha stopped herself, shook her head. "Never mind. Just... trust me on this one, okay? There's more going on with him than you know."
Pomni wanted to ask more questions, but something in Ragatha's expression told her the conversation was over. Instead, she focused on the energy bar and tried to let some of the tension leave her shoulders.
"You're too good to me," Pomni said.
"That's what friends are for." Ragatha smiled. "Besides, someone has to look out for you. You're terrible at taking care of yourself."
"Hey!"
"It's true! When's the last time you took a break during an adventure? When's the last time you ate without someone reminding you?"
"...Okay, fair point."
"Exactly." Ragatha pulled out another energy bar and handed it over. "Here, take this one too. For later."
"You don't have to—"
"I want to. You're important to me, Pomni. All of us are, but... I worry about you sometimes. You take everything so seriously."
"This place IS serious. People abstract here."
"I know." Ragatha's voice was soft. "But you can't carry all of that by yourself. You don't have to solve everyone's problems."
Pomni looked at her. "Is that what you think I'm doing with Jax?"
"I think you see someone hurting and you want to help. That's not a bad thing just be careful, okay? Don't lose yourself trying to save someone else."
Before Pomni could respond, their communicators crackled to life.
"Attention, my magnificent digital gladiators!" Caine's voice boomed through the speakers. "All artifacts have been secured! Please return to the central hub for the next phase of today's thrilling adventure!"
Ragatha stood up and stretched. "Well, that's our cue."
She looked down at Pomni, who was still sitting on the bench looking reluctant to move.
"Come on," Ragatha said gently, offering her hand. "Let's go face whatever Caine has planned next."
Pomni looked at the offered hand for a moment. There was something comforting about it, she took Ragatha's hand and let herself be pulled to her feet.
"Thanks," Pomni said. "For the food. And for... everything else."
"That's what I'm here for." Ragatha squeezed her hand briefly before letting go. "Ready?"
"Not really. But I guess that's never stopped us before."
The central hub looked like something out of a space opera. Massive chamber with glowing platforms, dramatic lighting, and that ominous hum that meant "final boss incoming." Everyone materialized back from their sectors looking various degrees of beaten up.
Kinger appeared first, perfectly clean and somehow more focused than usual. Gangle and Zooble came next, Gangle still grinning from her tommy gun rampage. Ragatha looked tired but satisfied.
Pomni and Jax arrived last, from opposite directions. Pomni looked like she'd been through hell. Jax looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.
"MAGNIFICENT!" Caine appeared floating above them with his arms spread wide. "You've all collected your artifacts! Now comes the REAL challenge!"
The chamber rumbled. In the center, a massive pedestal rose from the floor with five slots arranged in a circle.
"Each artifact must be placed simultaneously while the ancient guardian is defeated!" Caine gestured dramatically. "This requires PERFECT coordination, FLAWLESS teamwork, and ABSOLUTE trust in one another!"
"Oh fu[BOING!] me," Zooble muttered.
"The guardian has multiple phases!" Caine continued, oblivious to the growing dread on everyone's faces. "Phase one requires two people to distract while three attack! Phase two needs precise timing! Phase three—"
"How long is this gonna take?" Jax interrupted.
"As long as it takes!" Caine beamed. "Could be hours! Isn't that exciting?"
Jax stared at him with dead eyes. "Thrilling."
Ragatha stepped forward, already in planning mode. "Okay, everyone. If we position ourselves like this—" She started gesturing around the pedestal. "Kinger and I can handle the artifact placement. Gangle, you and Zooble can—"
"Wait," Zooble cut her off. "We're actually gonna try to coordinate with him?" They jerked their thumb toward Jax. "He's gonna sabotage this the second we start."
"I am standing right here," Jax said.
"Yeah, and you're gonna be a pain in the a[BOING!]ss about this," Zooble replied. "You always are."
Gangle nodded nervously. "Maybe we should plan around him being... difficult?"
"I'm not going to sabotage anything," Jax said, but nobody looked convinced.
Ragatha sighed. "Look, Jax, I know teamwork isn't your favorite, but we really need you to cooperate here. This is serious."
"When am I not serious?" Jax asked with fake innocence.
Pomni watched this exchange with growing unease. She'd seen Jax efficient and focused in his sector. Cold, but competent. The others were expecting the wrong kind of problem.
"So here's what we'll do," Ragatha continued, clearly trying to maintain group morale. "Phase one, Kinger and Jax distract. Pomni, Gangle, and I attack the weak points. Phase two—"
"This is gonna take forever," Jax muttered.
"—we rotate positions. Timing has to be perfect. Everyone understand?"
Murmurs of agreement. Except from Jax, who was staring at the pedestal like it personally offended him.
"Jax?" Ragatha prompted. "You understand the plan?"
"Sure. Distract, attack, coordinate, teamwork, rah rah rah."
"Are you gonna actually follow it?" Zooble pressed.
"Do I have a choice?"
That should have been reassuring. Instead, it was somehow worse.
"Alright!" Caine clapped his hands. "Prepare yourselves for the ANCIENT DIGITAL GUARDIAN!"
The chamber went dark. Warning klaxons started blaring. Everyone tensed up, weapons ready, artifacts in hand.
Emergency lighting flickered on in red. The pedestal started glowing ominously.
"Remember the plan," Ragatha whispered. "We can do this if we work together."
Something massive was materializing above the pedestal. Multiple arms, laser cannons, energy shields, the works. A boss that screamed "raid encounter" and "you're gonna die a lot."
"Phase one positions!" Ragatha called out.
Everyone started moving to their assigned spots. Jax walked slowly toward his position, pulling something from his storage compartment. Something big.
"Holy [BOING!]," Gangle whispered. "Is that a rocket launcher?"
It wasn't just a rocket launcher. It was THE rocket launcher. Those weapons you found at the end of games. Massive, glowing, clearly designed to obliterate everything in a five-mile radius.
"Jax," Ragatha said carefully, "where did you get that?"
"Purple sector had good loot."
The guardian finished materializing. It was huge, intimidating, clearly designed for an epic twenty-minute coordination battle.
"BEHOLD!" Caine announced. "THE ANCIENT—"
BOOM.
Jax fired.
The guardian exploded in a shower of digital sparks and polygons. Completely, utterly, instantly dead.
The warning klaxons stopped. The dramatic lighting returned to normal. Pieces of the guardian's remains drifted down like confetti.
"There," Jax said, shouldering the empty launcher. "Adventure over. Can we go now?"
Everyone stared at him. Then at the smoking crater where the boss used to be. Then back at him.
The silence stretched uncomfortably long.
"Jax," Zooble said slowly, "are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Jax replied, shouldering the empty launcher. "Just tired of wasting time on pointless sh[BOING!]it."
But he didn't look fine, there was something missing from his eyes that should have been there.
"That wasn't..." Ragatha said. "You didn't even make a joke. You always make jokes."
"Jokes take effort," Jax said.
Gangle was staring at him with growing concern. "You didn't even call me a name or anything. You... solved it."
"Problem solved. Mission accomplished." Jax looked around at their worried faces with mild confusion. "Isn't that what we wanted?"
Caine stared at him in complete shock. "You... you didn't.."
Without warning, reality folded. The digital facility dissolved around them in a shower of pixels and static. When the world stopped spinning, they were back in the main circus area, standing on the familiar checkered floor.
"But you didn't enjoy it!" Caine said, floating closer with obvious distress. "Where was the laughter? The satisfaction? The fun?"
Jax looked at him. "Fun?"
The word came out flat, empty. Like he'd forgotten what it meant.
Kinger stepped forward, his voice unusually serious. "Son, I know that look. I've seen it in the mirror. When you stop caring about the game entirely."
"I care," Jax said automatically, but it sounded hollow even to him.
"No," Kinger said gently. "You don't. And that's... that's not good."
Ragatha was wrapping her arms around herself. "This isn't how you act, Jax. You're supposed to be difficult and chaotic and... and alive. This was like watching someone else."
"Maybe someone else would be better," Jax said quietly.
"Don't say that," Pomni said and that was enough to make him gasp.
"Why not? It's true." He started walking toward the hallway that led to their rooms. "You'd all be better off without me screwing things up."
"Jax, wait," Zooble called, and there was actual worry in their voice which was honestly more alarming than anything else that had happened today. "That's not—"
"I solved your problem," Jax said without turning around. "What more do you want from me?"
Caine was floating in worried circles above the circus floor, muttering something about lost souls and the importance of finding joy, completely useless as always. The others were exchanging those looks, the concerned glances that said "someone should do something" while nobody actually did anything.
"Something's really wrong with him," Gangle whispered.
"No sh[BOING!]t," Zooble muttered, but even they looked shaken, which was saying something.
Pomni watched Jax's figure retreating. This wasn't the same idiot who threw Ragatha in the acid for shits and giggles. Wasn't even the asshole who'd just roleplayed hitman at that glass barrier.
This was someone who'd given up completely. Not even pretending to care about anything anymore, including himself.
She started following him before she could think better of it.
"Pomni?" Ragatha called after her. "Where are you—"
"Someone has to," Pomni said, not stopping.
She had to talk to him. Had to figure out what the hell was going on in that stupid head of his. Because the Jax who'd just obliterated that boss like it personally offended him wasn't the same one who'd been singing with her yesterday.
That Jax had been alive, even when he was being a dick. This one looked like he was already halfway to gone.
And she'd seen what "somewhere else" looked like in this place. Kaufmo-shaped nightmares and empty rooms nobody talked about.
That terrified her way more than any of his bullshit ever could.
She caught up to him halfway down the hallway, near the doors to their rooms.
"Jax, stop." She called out. "We need to talk."
He didn't even slow down. "No, we don't."
"Yes, we do." She quickened her pace and got in front of him, physically blocking his path. "What the fu[BOING!] was that back there?"
Jax stopped walking, but only because she was in the way. His expression was completely checked out. "Problem solving. You're welcome."
"That's not what I mean and you know it." Pomni crossed her arms, planting herself like she was ready to stand here all day if she had to. "You didn't enjoy any of that. You looked like you wanted to die."
"Maybe I do."
What.
What the fuck did he just say?
Pomni stared at him, waiting for the punchline, for that cruel smirk and the "gotcha" that always followed his worst jokes. But it didn't come. He just stood there, face blank, like he hadn't just casually mentioned he wanted to die in the middle of a fucking hallway.
She wanted to scream at him, grab him by the shoulders and shake him until something human fell out. But her voice was stuck somewhere between her chest and her throat, trapped by the sheer weight of what he'd just admitted like it was nothing.
"Don't say that."
"Why not? It's honest." Jax tried to step around her. "Now if you'll excuse me—"
Pomni moved to block him again. "I'm not letting you walk away this time."
"There's nothing to walk away from." Cracks starting to show in that dead-eyed mask. "There's nothing to talk about. I solved the problem, adventure's over, everyone's happy. End of story."
"Nobody's happy, Jax! Everyone out there is worried sick about you!"
"They shouldn't be."
"Well they ARE! Because that wasn't you back there! The Jax I know would have made jokes, drawn it out, found some creative way to mess with everyone while doing it. You would have enjoyed the chaos, milked it for everything it was worth!"
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think."
"Bullsh[BOING!]t." She stepped closer, refusing to let him retreat into that cold shell. "I saw you yesterday. You were laughing, you were actually alive for once, you told me about your fears and your—"
"Yesterday was a mistake."
"No, it wasn't! Yesterday was real! You sang with me, Jax. You were actually happy for five whole minutes. You were yourself, the real you, not this... this broken robot version you're trying to be right now."
His jaw clenched so tight she could hear his teeth grinding. "I don't know what you think you saw—"
"I saw someone who dropped the cruel act for five STUPID seconds and let himself be a person! And now you're standing here acting like it never happened!"
"Because it didn't matter!" The words exploded out of him, harsher than he meant, louder than he meant. "None of it mattered!"
"It mattered to ME!"
That stopped him cold. For just a second, maybe less, his mask cracked completely and Pomni saw it, saw HIM, the real him hiding underneath all that bullshit.
"Well, it shouldn't," he said quietly, and his voice had lost all its edge.
"Too bad! It does! You don't get to decide that connections don't matter just because you're scared of them!"
"I'm not scared—"
"Yes, you ARE! You're terrified! You're scared of letting anyone in because you think they'll leave you or hurt you or—"
"Stop."
"—or maybe you're scared that you're not worth caring about in the first place—"
"I said stop."
"—but you ARE worth it, Jax! You're worth caring about even when you're being an a[HONK!]hole and you're doing everything in your power to make people hate you—"
"STOP TALKING!"
Jax grabbed her before his brain could catch up with his hands. One second she was in his face screaming, the next he had her pinned against the wall, hands on her shoulders, faces inches apart.
"STOP. Just fuc[HONK!]king STOP."
"NO!" She shoved against his chest but the asshole didn't even flinch. Hard to intimidate someone when you barely came up to their shoulder. "You don't get to shut me out and pretend yesterday didn't happen!"
"You don't KNOW me!" His voice cracked badly on the last word. "You think you do but you DON'T, you CAN'T, because everyone who gets close to me ends up— they end up like—"
"Like who?"
Pomni's voice went soft and Jax wanted to scream.
Why aren't you running?
Why the fuck are you still HERE?
I just told you I destroy people and you're looking at me like— like—
Stop. Stop making this difficult. Stop looking at me like I'm worth saving.
But also...her voice... fuck, her voice was doing something. Something he didn't have a name for.
Why? WHY?
What is WRONG with you?
MOVE AWAY. LEAVE. MAKE THIS EASIER FOR BOTH OF US.
"Jax, like who? Who did you hurt?"
"Don't." His grip on her shoulders was trembling now. "Don't do that. Don't go soft on me, I can't— I can't handle that right now—"
"Jax—"
"PLEASE." And fuck, there went his voice completely. "Please, poms, don't... don't talk to me like I matter. I can't do this if you talk to me like I matter."
She stared at him. Those big stupid eyes that saw too much.
"But you DO matter—"
"STOP."
"—you matter to ME, you idiot, whether you like it or not—"
"I SAID STOP—"
"—and I'm not going to pretend otherwise just because you're too scared to—"
His hand slammed over her mouth.
Pomni looked absolutely offended. Like he'd just told her that her hat was ugly or something. Eyes went wide, eyebrows shot up, the whole "excuse me?" energy.
But Jax couldn't focus on that because something was happening.
Something weird.
His palm was pressed against her lips and he could feel... warmth. The soft give of her mouth against his hand along the little puff of her breath against his fingers.
What the fuck.
In Caine's digital nightmare you couldn't feel shit. Not really. Pain? Sure, your brain did its best to simulate that because suffering was apparently family-friendly entertainment. But anything good? Nope, sorry. Not included in the package.
Jax had tried. God, he'd tried. Spent his first few months in this hellhole attempting to jerk off out of pure boredom and desperation, hand wrapped around where his dick SHOULD be, feeling the phantom weight of something that existed and didn't exist at the same time. His beloved "Jax Toy" was technically there in the same way a Ken doll's was. Present in concept. Absent in function.
He'd done the motion anyway. Pathetically simulating the act because the lack of sensation was somehow worse than no attempt at all. And he'd felt absolutely nothing. Just emptiness where pleasure should've been. A cruel reminder that he was just a puppet in the Ringmaster show.
So why the FUCK was his body reacting now? Why could he feel heat pooling in places that shouldn't exist? Why was his brain suddenly VERY aware of how soft her lips were? Why did every nerve ending he supposedly didn't have suddenly wake the fuck up and start screaming?
What is happening. What is HAPPENING.
Pomni wasn't doing any better on her end.
Look, she wasn't proud of it, but during her first week trapped in this nightmare she'd absolutely tried to get herself off. Partly curiosity about how this new body worked. Partly because old habits die hard and her brain still remembered needing that release even if she couldn't remember why.
Back in the real world, post-exploration stress relief had been her thing. Survived a collapsing floor in an abandoned hospital? Rub one out. Got chased through a condemned factory by some crackhead with a pipe? Rub one out. Almost fell through a hole into a flooded basement full of god knows what? You get the idea. Quick, easy, reminded her she was still breathing.
Here? She'd tried. Reached down, found nothing useful, felt like an idiot, and never attempted it again.
Until now, apparently, because Jax's finger was doing things to her brain that hadn't happened since she got digitized.
Fascinating
By pure instinct, his thumb shifted, slipped sideways. Brushed against her bottom lip and slid inside her mouth.
Jax stood there like a fucking idiot for what felt like three seconds or three years, hard to tell when your entire existence was short-circuiting.
Right. Okay. Think fast, asshole. You're good at terrible ideas, come up with one NOW.
...got it.
Make her hate you.
This is your chance, dumbass.
Be so disgusting that she finally sees what you really are and runs away forever.
Perfect plan. Absolutely nothing could go wrong.
He forced his voice into something cruel. The Jax everyone expected him to be.
"Oh," he said, pressing his thumb deeper just to make it worse. "Is THAT what you want? Someone to shut you up?"
There. She'll be disgusted and never speak to you again and everything will go back to normal.
Pomni's breath hitched.
...wait.
Was that a good hitch or a bad hitch?
That better have been a bad hitch.
"Figures," he continued, doubling down because he was committed to this terrible plan now. "All that yelling, all that 'I care about you' crap, and what you really wanted was for someone to—"
She sucked on his thumb.
WHAT.
WHAT THE FUCK.
NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HER HATE ME.
WHY IS SHE INTO THIS.
WHY AM I INTO THIS.
WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
Okay. Okay okay okay. New plan. Keep going. Be WORSE. Be so absolutely depraved that she HAS to be disgusted eventually. There's a limit somewhere. There has to be.
"Good girl," he said.
WHY DID THAT FEEL GOOD TO SAY.
WHY DID MY VOICE GO ALL WEIRD WHEN I SAID THAT.
ABORT ABORT ABORT—
Pomni made a sound around his thumb that was definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent NOT disgust.
OH NO.
"You're pathetic," he tried, voice going rougher than he meant it to. "Desperate little thing who just wants to be used, huh?"
Her pupils went huge. Like, concerningly huge. Like someone had just shown her the best thing she'd ever seen.
OH NO NO NO.
"I could do anything to you right now," he heard himself say, and where the fuck was this coming from? "And you'd let me, wouldn't you?"
She nodded around his thumb.
THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE PLAN.
THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
I SAID SOMETHING GROSS AND INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY SHE'S LOOKING AT ME LIKE—
LIKE—
OH FUCK SHE'S STILL SUCKING ON MY THUMB.
"You..." His voice cracked again but for entirely different reasons this time. "You're not even fighting me. You're just taking it like— like a—"
"Mmfph mrph mmf," Pomni said around his thumb, which was either a protest or encouragement, hard to tell.
Jax leaned closer, mouth near where her ear would be if she had visible ears. "Like a slut."
Jax blinked.
Pomni blinked.
"...slut?" Jax straightened up, visibly confused. "Slut. Slut slut slut. Slutty slutterson."
Pomni looked equally baffled, eyebrows scrunched together, thumb still very much in her mouth.
"What the fu[BOING!]k?! THAT gets censored but SLUT doesn't?! What the shi[HONK!]— see?! SEE?!"
Pomni, still casually sucking his thumb like this was totally normal, just shrugged.
"You're a freak, Caine," Jax told the ceiling. "Absolute freak."
Anyway. Where was he...oh right. Making Pomni hate him. Mission still in progress despite the weird censorship detour.
He refocused, leaning back in, trying to recapture that predatory energy that had been working so well before his brain decided to have a linguistics debate.
"You know what I think?" His voice dropped low again. "I think you've been waiting for this. Someone to finally put you in your place. Someone to—"
Pomni bit down on his thumb. Playfully but definitely on purpose.
Jax made a sound that was NOT a whimper. Absolutely not. That was a... a cough. A very manly cough. Shut up.
OKAY NEW NEW PLAN.
STOP TRYING TO MAKE HER HATE YOU.
THAT PLAN HAS FAILED CATASTROPHICALLY.
MAYBE ... SEE WHERE THIS GOES?
NO!!! THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.
BUT ALSO...
ALSO...
How she was looking at him, made him feel like she could see straight through all his bullshit into the pathetic mess underneath. The one that said "I see you and I'm not leaving."
He hated that look.
He hated how much he didn't hate it.
"Why aren't you running?" He soudned too vulnerable. "You should be disgusted. You should be halfway down the hall by now."
Pomni pulled back just enough to speak, his thumb still resting against her bottom lip like it belonged there.
"Maybe I'm just as fu[BOING!]ed up as you are."
Oh.
OH.
"You..." His voice was shaking now and he couldn't make it stop. "Why aren't you hating this?! That was the whole point! You were supposed to hate it!"
"Guess I missed the memo."
"I'm serious! I said all that gross shi[HONK!]t specifically so you'd—"
"I know."
"—finally leave me alone and never— wait." He blinked. "You KNOW?"
"You're not subtle, Jax." She was almost smiling now, which was insane considering he still had his hand on her face. "You said 'good girl' like you were reading off a script."
"Okay, first of all, rude."
"Just calling it like I see it."
"I hate you."
"Mhm."
"I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, hate everything about you."
"That's a lot of emotion for someone who supposedly doesn't care."
"I don't— that's not—"
"Also," Pomni interrupted, thumb still very much in her mouth situation, "for someone trying to scare me off, you're still pinning me to a wall. Just saying."
She had a point. Fuck, she had a point.
"Did you just— did you seriously just—"
"What? You can dish it out but you can't take it?" Now she was definitely smiling, that infuriating little smirk that made him want to kiss her and strangle her in equal measure. "Big scary dom Jax can't handle one little comeback?"
"I can handle— I can handle PLENTY of—You're the one who's— YOU started—"
"Started what? Enjoying myself?" She tilted her head, innocent as a demon. "Sorry for ruining your whole 'make Pomni hate me' plan by having a good time."
Neither of them WANTED to move. This was two people who wanted to be exactly where they were, doing exactly what they were doing.
Guess that's what happens when you spend months as a sexless Ken doll and suddenly your body remembers what arousal feels like. You grab onto it with both hands and don't let go.
Pomni was actually kind of loving it, if she was being honest. The adrenaline, the heat, her digital body was doing things it wasn't supposed to do. Same rush as exploring a building that could collapse at any moment. Same "I'm alive and this is terrifying and I want MORE" energy.
Except instead of a crumbling floor, it was Jax.
Somehow equally dangerous. Way more fun.
"I don't know what I'm doing," Jax said because apparently his brain had given up on dignity entirely. "I didn't even know this was possible. I thought Caine turned all the horny off."
"Maybe he forgot a setting."
"He forgot a— Pomni, this isn't a SETTINGS issue, this is a 'what the hell is happening to my body' issue!"
"Yeah." She grinned up at him. "Fun, isn't it?"
Jax should end this. Right now. Step back, make a joke, pretend the last five minutes were some kind of elaborate bit. That would be the smart thing. The safe thing. The thing that kept everyone from getting hurt.
But god, he wanted to explore more of her mouth.
Not just his thumb either. He wanted to know what sounds she'd make if he kissed her properly. If he bit her lip. If he pressed his whole body against hers instead of just hovering like some kind of horny coward. He wanted to find out if the rest of her tasted as good as his thumb suggested. He wanted—
Pomni was still looking at him with those eyes. Those stupid, pretty, completely unfair eyes that made him feel like maybe wanting things wasn't automatically a death sentence.
His thumb traced along her bottom lip and she made this tiny sound that went straight to places he didn't know he still had.
You should stop.
He pressed closer instead.
You should REALLY stop.
His other hand found her hip, gripping tight through the fabric of her costume.
JAX. STOP. THIS IS A BAD IDEA.
"You know," he murmured, mouth close to her non-modelled ear, "if you keep looking at me like that, I'm gonna do something we both regret."
"Who says I'd regret it?"
OH FUCK OFF WITH THAT. THAT'S NOT FAIR. YOU CAN'T JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT.
Footsteps.
Distant but getting closer.
Oh thank god. Saved by the interruption...wait no. NOT thank god. This is terrible. Someone's coming and you have your hand on her hip and your thumb basically in her mouth and...and....and...and
"Sh[BOING!]t," he breathed, but his body refused to move. Step back, idiot. Put distance between you. Act like a normal person who definitely wasn't just doing... this.
Instead, his thumb pressed deeper into her mouth. Because apparently his survival instincts had fully checked out.
"Don't move yet," he whispered. "Not done with you."
Pomni's response was to do something with her tongue that made his vision go fuzzy.
"Pomni? Did you find him?"
Ragatha's voice and it was getting closer. Probably worried because they'd both been gone too long and the adventure had been a disaster and she was doing that thing where she tried to fix everyone's problems with optimism and hugs.
MOVE. STEP BACK. FIX YOUR EARS. PRETEND TO BE NORMAL.
"Jax," Pomni mumbled around his thumb, and it came out muffled and desperate in a way that made him want to forget Ragatha existed entirely.
"I know," he said, finally forcing himself to pull his hand away. "I fu[BOING!]ing know."
But he still couldn't make himself put space between them. She was breathing hard and staring at his mouth and everything in him was screaming to close the distance and finish what he started.
Twenty seconds. Maybe less. Before Ragatha rounded that corner and saw them like this.
"We need to stop looking at each other like that," Jax managed.
"Like what?"
"Like you want me to pin you back against this wall and—"
Ragatha's voice was right around the corner now. "There you are! I was worried when you both just—"
...
...
...
...
"Oh," Ragatha said slowly, smile faltering. "Did I... interrupt something?"
"Nope!" Jax's voice came out too fast. "Nothing to interrupt! Just talking! Normal talking between normal colleagues about normal adventure stuff!"
Pomni flinched, his sudden shift hurted her.
"Jax—" Pomni started, reaching for him.
"Gotta go." He was already backing toward his door, fumbling for the handle.
"Wait, what happened?" Ragatha looked between them, confused but still trying to help. "Did you two have a fight? We can talk about it! Communication is really important for—"
"Nothing happened."
Jax found his door handle. Thank fuck.
"This didn't happen," he said, looking directly at Pomni. His voice was cold, nothing like the rough, wanting thing it had been two minutes ago. "We forget about it. All of it."
Pomni's face crumpled. Just long enough for him to see exactly how much that hurt. Then she pulled herself together, because she was stronger than he gave her credit for, and her expression went carefully blank.
"Fine," she said quietly.
Fine. One word. Shouldn't have hurt...it hurt anyway.
Jax shoved his door open and disappeared inside, slamming it so hard the whole hallway shook.
Pomni stood there staring at his closed door. Her body was still buzzing with whatever the hell had just happened. And now she was standing in a hallway with Ragatha looking at her with that worried expression, trying to process the emotional whiplash of going from "someone wants me" to "forget this ever happened" in under thirty seconds.
Fuck.
"Pomni?" Ragatha stepped closer, voice gentle. "Sweetie, are you okay? What happened?"
"Nothing." The word came out hollow. "He said it himself. Nothing happened."
"That didn't look like nothing."
"Well, it was." Pomni finally managed to look away from Jax's door. "We were just talking. He got weird. Ran away. The end."
Ragatha didn't look convinced obviously. Because she wasn't stupid and Pomni looked like she'd been thoroughly wrecked in multiple senses of the word.
"You know," Ragatha said, "if he said something mean, or did something that made you uncomfortable, you can tell me. I know Jax can be... a lot. But that doesn't mean you have to just accept it when he—"
"He didn't do anything wrong."
The words came out sharper than Pomni intended. She took a breath, tried to calm down, tried to stop her stupid hands from shaking.
"He didn't... it wasn't like that. We were just talking and then he..." She trailed off, because how the fuck was she supposed to explain this? Hey Ragatha, we accidentally discovered arousal exists in this sexless nightmare circus and then he shoved his thumb in my mouth and called me a slut and I LIKED it and now he's pretending it never happened and I feel like I'm going insane?
Yeah, no. That conversation was not happening.
"He just got scared," Pomni finished lamely. "That's all."
Ragatha's face went softer, like she knew exactly what Pomni was talking about even without the details.
"That sounds like Jax," she said. "He's really good at running away when things get real."
"I noticed."
"Do you want to talk about it? Not the details... how you're feeling?"
Pomni shook her head. "I don't know how I'm feeling. That's the problem."
"That's okay too." Ragatha reached out and gently fixed Pomni's crooked hat, the gesture so motherly it made something in Pomni's chest ache. "Confusing feelings are still feelings. They still count."
"Thanks."
"And whatever's going on with Jax... just give him time, okay? He's not good at handling things that matter to him. He tends to destroy them before they can destroy him."
Pomni looked at his closed door again. "Is that what I am? Something that matters?"
Ragatha smiled, sad and knowing. "Sweetie, if you didn't matter, he wouldn't have run so fast."
That... actually made sense. In a fucked up, emotionally stunted kind of way.
"I'm gonna go to my room," Pomni said. "I need to... think."
"Of course." Ragatha gave her one last gentle pat on the shoulder. "I'm here if you need me. No pressure."
"Thanks, Ragatha."
Pomni walked to her door on autopilot, went inside, and closed it behind her.
She leaned against it for a moment, staring at nothing.
We forget about it. All of it.
Yeah, sure. Just forget about the fact that underneath all the cruel asshole bullshit, there was someone who wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.
She slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor, head in her hands.
"Fu[BOING!]k," she said to her empty room.
It didn't help.
On the other side of the wall, Jax was having a complete meltdown.
He was sitting on his bed, head in his hands, replaying the last five minutes over and over like his brain was trying to torture him.
And he'd ruined it, obviously. Because that's what he did. Find something good, get scared, destroy it before it could destroy him.
He fell backwards onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to convince himself he'd done the right thing. Pomni was better off hating him. Everyone was better off when he kept his distance. He was poison, remember? Everything he touched turned to ash eventually.
But he could still feel her mouth around his thumb...
Nobody had ever looked at him like that
The worst part wasn't that it had happened. The worst part was that he wanted it to happen again.
That was exactly the kind of thinking that got people abstracted. Caring too much, wanting too much, needing something so badly that losing it would destroy you.
He'd learned that lesson with Ribbit. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.
But as he sat there trying to convince himself to forget about Pomni, all he could think about was how Pomni looked at him...
And for the first time in months, the funny one didn't feel like performing anymore.
He felt like being real.
Which was the most dangerous feeling of all.
To be continued