Chapter Text
The gleaming, flashing lights of neon signs and streetlights reflected off of the shiny golden buildings of the kingdom. The pathetic imitation of moonlight had swallowed the street whole in its encompassing glow, creating a glittering city centre of blinding opulence.
It was the kind of over-indulgent flashbang that required every denizen of this very kingdom to always have a pair of sunglasses at hand.
Though, Smoked Cheese had already long grown used to the obnoxiously bright city, with exception to the few times he did find himself lowering the beak of his headwear down slightly to cover his eyes more in extreme circumstances.
It was night, as it always was in this never-ending digital illusion, and Smoked Cheese had found himself urged on by his queen to accompany her for dinner at a lavish restaurant, straight out from finishing his work. Normally, he would flat-out refuse accompanying her outside of his usual working schedule, but due to his plan to gain trust, he had reluctantly agreed to the invite, hoping to score some points with the golden cookie, all for the betterment of his ultimate goal of stealing the soul jam, of course.
Golden Cheese lazily hovered above Smoked Cheese as they walked (or flew) through the city streets, leaving him to follow a slight step behind as she guided them location of the restaurant she wanted to eat at.
Smoked Cheese tuned out her excessive yapping, barely engaging in whatever story she had decided to prattle on and on about. Instead, he stared across at the busy streets around them and observed the crowds of cookies out-and-about. He made note of numerous sights. Friend groups laughing along to each other, a family of 3 celebrating their youngest’s birthday, a pair of lovers shopping for each other. Smoked Cheese watched closely, admiring all the denizens of the kingdom he had cherished and protected for all these years. The very denizens and kingdom that he had given everything for… even his own life.
As he took it all in, admiring the sight, it only made his resolve stronger.
“Smoked Cheese Cookie! Are you listening to me?!” Golden Cheese suddenly yelled, getting rather close to the face of the general.
Smoked Cheese snapped his attention back to his sovereign.
“Of course.” Not. “And must I say, what an extremely captivating story!” Whatever that story was about.
Golden Cheese narrowed her eyes.
“Hmph. Very well.” She huffed, before her voice trailed off into a more quiet tone.
“I recieved a letter from my old friend, Pure Vanilla Cookie today. It seems our outsiders from a fortnight ago have informed him of the location of our kingdom.”
Smoked Cheese halted.
“What?!”
Damn those frustratingly nose-sticking cookies. Sharing the secret location of their kingdom and risking them being presented with even more threats?! He just knew he should’ve gotten rid of them when he had the chance. The monster cage would’ve suited them rather nicely after all…
“Yes… he seemed… disappointed that I wouldn’t join the war efforts. He said he was happy to hear I was doing well, however, he did not expect me to abandon my duties as a hero…” Golden Cheese looked away, seemingly becoming very sullen in her expression.
“… Never mind.” She hastily deterred, “This isn’t a conversation for right now. We should focus on the lavish meal we’re about to feast upon!”
Smoked Cheese let out an inaudible hum as Golden Cheese raced ahead to get to the restaurant faster.
He wasn’t surprised that the other ancient heroes were far from excited that Golden Cheese had turned down their request to aid them in battle, in favour of a digital delusion. However, even he himself did not see a need to unnecessarily get them wrapped up in another war at this time. A second war was far from what the kingdom needed right now. It was barely even standing… if you could even call this standing… from the last one. Smoked Cheese held back a sigh. He pondered whether he should probe Golden Cheese for more details, to get an accurate read on the situation of the other kingdoms and the overall war developments. Alas, he reluctantly decided on not getting on his queen’s bad side for the time being. Perhaps later.
“Ah! Just round this corner, here it is-!” Golden Cheese brightened up, turning back to Smoked Cheese with her usual smile and vibrant demeanour seemingly returned to her. How simple. The general couldn’t help but bite back a bitter scoff from how easily his queen had been able to dismiss such important matters. Did she even care about their kingdom? Or was it simply a means to the ends for her enjoyment?
Smoked Cheese shook the thought away immediately. He shouldn’t anger himself with such ideas whilst he was in the middle of trying to act friendly and gain his sovereigns favour. He wasn’t even sure whether these cruel thoughts were true, but if they were….. Well he would show her once and for all as soon as he had his hands on that soul jam. Focus on the task at hand, general.
His clueless queen yammered on, discussing the restaurant they were about to eat at as they drifted closer to enter its doors.
“Oh, and let me tell you how marvellous the cheese selection is. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted a finer charcuterie board in my life! If only I’d known of such a restaurant existing in my lands before, then I would’ve—“
CRASH!!!
Smoked Cheese whipped his head around with the utmost force and speed humanly possible. His queen followed not long after. They both watched as an averlanche of rubble toppled into the street opposite them, their denizens screaming and running away in fear as a hoard of vicious monsters charged into buildings, crushed cars and left behind a trail of destruction.
Smoked Cheese stared in alarm.
Another monster attack!? This was unheard of! Just how many have they had this week alone? This was undoubtedly the sign of a much larger issue, which was beyond cause for concern at this point.
He quickly brought himself to his senses, however, upon hearing the sound of his queen voice much similar thoughts.
“Again?!” She cried out, watching the destruction unfold as she stood frozen in disbelief. “This can’t be…!”
A fleeing denizen crashed into the general, making the stranger stumble backwards and then jolt up, ready to apologize, before relief visibly washed over their face upon seeing who they had crashed into.
“General Smoked Cheese Cookie! A-and…YOUR MAJESTY?!” The denizen yelled loudly in shock, making the entire chaotic and evacuating street turn their heads towards the two cookies who were now quite beyond famished.
Golden Cheese turned towards her general with a look, and Smoked Cheese simply nodded in response.
“I’ll take the ones on the right.” Was all he responded with, before calling upon a cloud of smoke and rushing towards a horde of monsters without hesitation.
“Fear not my subjects! I will rid these annoying pests from our kingdom and you shall enjoy your evening plans once more!” He heard his sovereign bellow out from behind him, summoning her staff and raising it into the air with a flashy display of strength that Smoked Cheese couldn’t help but click his tongue at as he fought. Less boasting and more fighting would be nice. He groaned.
Eventually, she charged into the left hoard of monsters, spear in hand, armed and ready. Smoked Cheese had to admit that her radiant strength was something that couldn’t be understated, and both queen and general had soon finished off all their respective foes in a matter of minutes.
The denizens that were originally fleeing not even a few moments prior, had now taken to crowding around at the spectacle, “ooh”ing and “aah”ing in awe as they watched their beloved queen fight.
How ridiculous. Smoked Cheese scoffed to himself. Ever heard of a blast radius? Stop gawking and move.
Despite his irritation, his queen on the other hand seemed quite pleased at all the fanfare. Upon seeing the crowd, she swiftly flew into the air over the corpses of her defeated enemies and waved at her citizens. Striking a pose for their cameras, she absorbed every single drop of admiration and praise that mindlessly lept out of their subjects mouths.
Smoked Cheese rolled his eyes. Calling over a nearby marzipan bot, he ordered it to clean up the mess, then investigate how the monsters had intruded. Then, stepping over the rubble, corpses and scrambling through the needlessly big crowd, he made his way into the restaurant that he was particularly starved for right now, not even bothering to call over his queen.
The restaurant luckily remained unaffected by the attack, and a waiter quickly sat him down as he entered, guiding him into the honoured VIP section befitting his high-ranked status and passing him a menu. He ordered a drink and glanced over the meals. After all the sudden excursion he had to take part in, this restaurant had better live up to the boasts that Golden Cheese was placing upon it.
Speaking of Golden Cheese, he must’ve gotten through reading half the menu before she burst into the VIP lounge, glancing the room before angrily flying over to where the general was sitting with a large pout plastered all over her face.
“Why on Earthbread did you go in without me and leave me in the street?! I was the one who invited you out, was I not? How impudent!” She immedietly fired out, waving her hands in exasperation and betrayal.
Smoked Cheese didn’t even bother to look up from his menu.
“You seemed to be enjoying yourself just fine if I recall. I merely figured I should go inside first by myself.” He hummed.
“Wha-?! You-!” Golden Cheese stumbled over air as she struggled to find words to express her frustration. Eventually, she gave up, plopping herself down opposite her general with a huff.
Smoked Cheese chuckled.
A moment of silence passed, with Smoked Cheese finally finishing on deciding what he wanted and placing down his menu, only to look up to see his queen completely lost in thought.
“…Is everything the matter?”
Golden Cheese eyes shot back up to the man opposite.
“Oh yes. Perfectly fine.” She replied, darting her eyes to the side.
…
She shifted a little, hesitating before opening her mouth once more.
“… The monsters.” She began uncertainly. “They’re getting more… Well..…”
“Frequent?” Smoked Cheese finished with an eyebrow raised.
Golden Cheese finally met his eyes.
“Well… Yes.” She let out a sigh she didn’t know she was holding back, and began again.
“It’s just… Ugh! It is far from a good sign. Just how many have we had now this week alone?! More errors keep plaguing the kingdom and I-… I-“
Smoked Cheese understood. It would be a blatant bold-faced lie for him to act as if he hadn’t noticed the growing number of concerns in this digital hoax kingdom by now. Cheeses, he’s sure it hasn’t even been that long since he last brought it up. Today, however, had just shown with absolute certainty that the growing issues were no minor problem. 4 monster attacks in one week was absurd, and it would only prove to get worse if they stayed idle.
“…I- I’m worried….” Golden Cheese continued, whispering under her breath with an almost inaudible confession. One only Smoked Cheese could just about pick up on.
“Another war, countless errors, increasing monster attacks… It’s all…” She darted her eyes around their quiet corner of the restaurant, as if trying to find the right words to say, but the longer she paused, only the more hesitant she became.
She breathed in. Slowly exhaling whilst she composed herself.
“….A lot.”
Smoked Cheese frowned as she cut herself off with such a short and curt finish, watching her eyes as they gazed off to the side to avoid meeting. He held back his frustration and desire to probe further with great restraint. In a rare moment where he is able to finally get somewhat of a semblance of what goes on inside of that (small) head of hers, she decides to leave him in the dark once more.
There was one thing she had made him question though… Perhaps… Perhaps he had been too harsh on her before now.
Don’t get him wrong, Smoked Cheese is still far from being on the same page as his sovereign, but at the very least, he can appreciate that she seems she truly does care for the kingdom and hadn’t been completely blind to the growing issues threatening their safety. Her way of going about the uptake of their kingdom ever since the war may be wrong in his eyes…. But he can’t help but admit he is relieved that there seems to be genuine desire to protect what is theirs.
It’s a realisation that fills him with both relief… and for some reason…something else. An emotion that’s sharp. As though it’s tightening around his heart. A incessant pang of something unfamiliar….
Though, he shivered and quickly shrugged off the strange feeling.
Right now, he shouldn’t get lost in his thoughts. This moment is a chance.
“I understand.” Smoked Cheese finally audibly spoke up, addressing the one in front of him as she raised her head. “Believe me, I understand better than anyone. The fear, the anxiety, the dread. You know very well that I, more than anyone, wish to protect this kingdom with whatever it takes…” He paused.
Right this moment, he needed to be careful.
He desperately wanted to reason with her, tell her they should shut down this faux kingdom that clearly isn’t working, put better plans into place. He wants to bring up once again what he’s practically been begging her to do the whole time since the war. It would all fall out of his mouth so easily, after all he’s practically rehearsed it with how many times he’s brought it up in the past.
But…he knows better. He has tried reasoning with his queen all this time. For cheese’s sake, he’s tried for years.
Every time he brings it up, it’s instantly shut down by her. Even right now, when Golden Cheese is sat right in front of him voicing their shared concerns right to his face, Smoked Cheese cannot be sure whether she would suddenly change her mind and agree with him despite all these countless times of her not doing such.
And right now, he can’t afford to take the risk.
Rather than speak his mind and risk being shut down again, he will use her vulnerability and honesty right now as an opportunity.
He will steal the soul jam himself.
He will fix it himself.
It’s better, more efficient, more certain that way.
He will put in motion his plan, no matter what.
“…And yet…” he continues, “There is no one else more dedicated to our kingdom than you, your radiance. No matter how many errors or monsters, we shall work hard together to rid them so that the denizens can continue to thrive in endless abundance. There is nothing to fear...
And you are not alone. Burnt Cheese, Mozzarella, high priest cheesenbird…And… Myself. We are all here for you. Always.”
The final words of the rather flaming speech fell off of Smoked Cheese’s tongue like a punch to his own gut. It felt somewhat twisted, to lie so cruelly knowing full well that he was planning to betray her later. That everything he had said had been complete and utter nonsense.
It made him feel disgusting.
It made him feel like her.
He lied to her like she had lied to the denizens about their entire reality. The war, their deaths, this vile hallucination.
For once, Smoked Cheese was glad his queen’s response interrupted his racing thoughts once more.
“I….” Golden Cheese looked back at him, her eyes now meeting his, as if a certain glow or spark had seemed to return to them. She opened her mouth slowly, empty words falling off of her tongue into the air, as if she were unsure of what she wanted to say. Finally though, she seemed to decide.
“Thank you, Smoked Cheese.”
Then,
She smiled.
Smiled back at the scheming advisor a little too softly than she should’ve.
The gaze made him shift somewhat in response.
He supposed that he should be happy at the positive reaction to his own little brown-nosing speech, but her gaze was almost…. Unnerving, in a way…
Regardless, he forced a reluctant smile back.
If all this would curry favour for his plan then there’s no reason to look too far into it. He should simply enjoy his meal and then continue with gaining further trust, as per usual.
After all, everything had been going accordingly….
….Right…?