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r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 6 mo. ago
Moving in with my (m33) long-term best friend (m33), what to expect?
Last time I used Reddit, I was a teenager living in Texas, so I hope I am using it correctly and am not being too millenial on y'all.
Long story short: My son (m14) and I have lived in California since 2018, but for several months first him and then me happened to move back to Texas. I stupidly bought a new house there, leaving behind our house in LA. I was trying my best to sublet it to someone — I suppose a part of me knew the move would be temporary and I'd return… But it didn't end up working out, as my best friend, (let's call him Truck), unintentionally — or not — sabotaged all the house viewings. In the end, as an apology to me, he ended up terminating the lease for his own apartment and moving into my house.
Me and my son's time in Texas is now over and I am left with the current predicament: Truck is unable to find a place to move into, and we need somewhere to live in LA. Thus, my son and I are moving back into our old home and going to live with Truck while he's on the lookout for a new home.
(Okay, maybe it wasn't that short.)
Either way, I have never had a real 'roommate'. I certainly didn't expect to have one in my thirties — not that I'm judging anyone who might be in that situation. I have only lived with my parents growing up, then my late wife, and bunked with all sorts of people in the military. I don't know how to live with a person that technically isn't a family member, nor a romantic partner. (I say technically, since I see Truck and my son as my family). I mean, for a few months during the first lockdown, we shared a bed at his old apartment with a few of our friends (we're firefighters), but it was such a crazy time, my memories of it are like it happened to someone else.
Before this whole mess of a move happened, Truck was around my house all the time. He knows it inside out, probably better than I know it myself, since he kept gifting us kitchen supplies over the years (that he banned me from using). He stayed over at least once a week and slept on the couch. I know him inside out. As I stressed in the title, he's my very best friend.
But I still worry. My biggest concern is the sleeping situation — we have a two bedroom home. That means me and Truck have to take shifts between sleeping on the couch and my bed. Since I made such a mess in his life, the least I can do is give him the chance to still sleep on a normal bed occassionally. How do we make proper arrangements for it? We both work the same exhausting job and deserve physical rest on a real mattress, but we are both so broke we can't afford to buy another bed.
I worry about other things, too. Truck is an attractive man, who catches many people's eye. It's been a while since he broke up with his boyfriend, so what if he starts dating again? Where is he going to bring his dates home to, and how would he explain his current living situation? What about my son and I?
One thing I don't have to worry about, thankfully, is Truck's relationship with my son. They are both more than happy to be 'roomies', as they love each other like crazy. This is the man who's saved my son's life in a natural distaster, and earned the spot as his legal guardian in my will in the case I die before he grows up completely.
I feel terrible for putting all this on Truck. But I have to deal with my bad decisions, and I will, as long as I can get some understanding on how to.
Appreciate all advice!
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➔ ghostofsuburbia do you ever just read something and have to roll your eyes so many times you're scared you're gonna lose your sight? because this was me reading all this. the amount of freudian slips…
➔ g00dgrief you've shared a bed before, what's stopping you from sharing the bed now?
➔➔ sundri3dtomato platonically, of course…
➔➔➔ danisnotonfire *homosexually
➔ gruesomel0ver Truck sabotaged all your house viewings? as in, he was present at all your house viewings?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Yes?
➔➔➔ gruesomel0ver This is worse than I thought.
➔ SpicyBottom "Truck is an attractive man, who catches many people's eye." has he perhaps caught your eye?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Is it really so crazy to call another man attractive? I'm straight but I have eyes.
➔➔➔ SpicyBottom what are his eyes like?
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Blue, most of the time. But when he gets angry, they turn darker and it's like he's staring straight into your soul. When he's upset, they flicker like the ocean in sunlight.
➔➔➔ SpicyBottom oh boy
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 6 mo. ago
Roommate/Best Friend does all the chores and I can't find the time to contribute
(See last post for more context).
It's been about two weeks since my best friend, my son, and I share a two-bedroom house. It's been going well — perhaps, too well.
We both work the same job, almost the same 24-hour shifts, except I'm also a full-time parent. This means, any chance I get, I try to spend it raising my son and keeping him happy and healthy. Truck contributes to this, especially now that we're all under the same roof, but he does entirely too much for my liking.
By the time my alarm sounds off, he's made breakfast and prepared a lunch box for my son. On the days we're not working, he makes a home cooked meal that he refuses to let me help with — though, that's probably smart, as I'm not that great of a cook. While I'm out running errands like grocery shopping and attending PT with my son, Truck takes care of hoovering, cleaning and laundry. He's bought this softener that smells so good I could die, but he hides it someplace I can't find and doesn't let me do laundry without it.
All that I have done in these two weeks is wash the dishes after our meals, which obviously isn't enough of a contribution. I feel spoiled but also guilty. He says he's happy to make life easier for me, so that I can focus more on reconnecting with my son, but still. That's not his job! He's just my roommate and best friend, not—
Anyway. How do I convince him that I can contribute to chores a lot more without Truck feeling like I'm undermining him? How do I tell him that I appreciate greatly all he's doing, but it's not his duty to do it? I'm afraid that with our job, it's going to become too much for him and he'll start to resent me.
Help.
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➔ badassandbadasser a unique problem, wanting to do more chores
➔ urlocalbombera I know how tiring a firefighter job is, this boy must really love you if he's willing to do all that for you after a 24-hour. when will I get this treatment 😭
➔ yourfavyaoi maybe kiss him stupid, that'll shock him for long enough that you can clean the house yourself
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 5 mo. ago
AITA: Roommate/Best Friend confessed to sleeping with his ex at our house while I was away and in turn, I deep-cleaned the whole house
To get an idea as to why I'm pissed off, I HATE how his ex-boyfriend treated Truck. For example, this guy:
— Abandoned him in the middle of their first date because he thought Truck wasn't ready to date a man after not being able to immediately tell everyone that he's bisexual;
— Ditched Truck at the Bachelor party he and I organized for one of our closest friends because he had promised to go to work and apparently couldn't arrange one night off for the sake of his boyfriend (AND he didn't come dressed as per the theme);
— allowed Truck to out himself in front of all his friends and family at his sister's wedding;
— fed him a medicine that he is allergic to, resulting in him breaking out in facial boils for the following days;
— broke up with him and basically called him inexperienced in a gay relationship while Truck was proposing for them to move in together on their 6th month anniversary.
And I didn't even say anything about his annoying personality. I can't believe I was once friends with the guy, before Truck started dating him.
But here's about what happened today, during a casual conversation between me and Truck as we were cleaning up after dinner. I had noticed Truck chatting away with someone on his phone, thought it might be someone on Tinder, and asked if he's considering dating again. To which he responded, "Not after… Um, anyway." At first I thought that he meant after his breakup with the ex, but something came over me and I decided to pry. Eventually, he guiltily admitted that while I was in Texas a few months ago, he brought his ex over to our house and slept with him IN MY BED.
I dropped what I was doing and without a word, went to a 24/7 Target to buy bleach. For the next few hours, I bleached the whole damn house. Truck hovered around me, telling me an excuse after an excuse, but I kept my silence.
When I was finally finished, I got my breathing back to normal and told him he could've at least rented out a cheap hotel room to avoid all the trouble. He wasn't impressed, but we went to bed without speaking about it further.
I feel disgusted that this man was in my house, in my bed, with my best friend whose heart he broke. But I also understand that Truck was going through some stuff at the time of the hookup, and I don't really blame him. I simply wish we could go back in time and I never started a friendship with his ex (over which Truck got all jealous and defensive), to avoid the outcome.
AITA?
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➔ maltesersRgay there's a lot to unpack here, but it sounds like you implied that Truck was jealous of your relationship with a queer man?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I didn't know he was gay at the time, but yeah, Truck didn't like how much time I spent with him. I ended up with a sprained ankle from the whole jealousy ordeal.
➔➔➔ maltesersRgay gotcha. good luck. NTA, just oblivious.
➔ friedeggjellyfish the ex sounds like a prick and Truck is dumb for ever sleeping with him again, especially at his crush's house. NTA
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Never call him dumb again, asshole.
➔➔➔ friedeggjellyfish not gonna address the crush part? I see.
➔ yourfavyaoi boy how do you not know what your boyfriend is allergic to 😭 he sounds evil
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 4 mo. ago
Accidentally Caught My Roommate/Best Friend Jerking Off
🔞 NSFW
I wasn't supposed to see it. I wish I could unsee it.
Today was one of those rare days when I was working a shift while Truck wasn't, and my son was at school. Except, I got injured on the first call (I'm OK) and was sent home early. I texted Truck to let him know, but his phone was put on Do Not Disturb.
When I arrived home, I was still a bit dizzy from my fall and thought Truck was out and about. I planned to go to my bedroom and crash there for a few hours, until Truck eventually woke me up and pried for details of my injury.
Except, when I opened the door to my room, I saw a sight that will not leave my mind.
Truck was completely naked over the covers, his Airpods in, in front of him his laptop, on the screen of which two guys were screwing each other's brains out. I stood in the doorway, stilled by shock, and sorta mesmerized by what I was seeing — I've never looked at gay porn before —, when Truck grasped one of the pillows and took a loud sniff of it, all the while stroking his you-know-what.
Finally, Truck noticed me, slammed the laptop shut, discarded the pillow, and covered himself. He was still hard under the covers and I couldn't stop staring at it. I was just so shocked, you know! I've never caught anyone jerking off before.
He started apologizing and saying that he didn't expect anyone to be home, and I just told him it's fine, and normal, because it is! He is a single man in his thirties, of course he watches porn and jerks off. I just never thought I'd see it happen!
Once he discovered that my reason for being home was my injury, we let go of the topic completely and he tended to my head wound and let me sleep it off in the same bed I caught him in.
Obviously, I couldn't sleep. I kept replaying the scene in my head until I, too, got aroused. I didn't do anything about it, but it was all very confusing. I mean, when you see a sexual activity, you usual get aroused. I just never expected to have that happen because of seeing a man in a sexual activity.
⇧0 ⇩ 💭 1
MOD: This post has been removed for being off-topic.
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 4 mo. ago
AITA: Roommate/Best Friend Brought A Girl Over and She Left In Tears Because Of Me
I don't know why I keep going back to this Sub, but some of you guys can really make me laugh with your comments. And some of you offer genuine advice, which is helpful.
Today I come with the following: Truck brought over a date to our house for the first time. Except, he didn't give me any prior warning, as it happened very spontaneously and he knew my son was at a Government meeting with the state senator.
I was in the kitchen, making myself a frozen lasagna dinner, when suddenly I heard voices from the door. Truck's voice, and a stranger's. If he ever invites anyone over, it's usually one of our common friends, and with a prior warning.
I checked my phone and saw a typoed apology. Truck had been out at a bar with our friend/coworker Pavi, when suddenly things between Truck and this woman started hitting off.
I stayed in the kitchen, praying they just head for the bedroom, when I heard the woman say, "Can I get some water first?" and into the kitchen they both went.
When she saw me, she looked at Truck in confusion and he didn't seem to know what to say, until I explained that Truck is our temporary roommate while he looks for a new place. Mentioning my son, of course, caused more questions, which I happily answered. I talked about my son, how he is with Truck, and of course, how amazing Truck is — you know, to hype him up!
Except that's not what happened. Tears began to well in the woman's eyes and she looked between me and Truck, before storming out of the house. Truck was a little stupefied, and by the time he started running after her, she'd gotten herself an Uber home.
I'm not sure what I did wrong. Anyone who understands women have any idea?
⇧4,569 ⇩ 💭 691
➔ gruesomel0ver Not enough info. Tell us exactly what you said.
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I told her about how smart my son is and that he's into coding and architecture, about trusting Truck with my life and my son's, especially after he saved him in a tsunami, about Truck being in my will, about how we've got each other's backs since nearly day one of working together (initial feelings of envy aside) and are going to be a family forever… about how caring, protective, and loyal Truck is, and that it's us against the world.
➔➔➔ yourfavyaoi yes! some more lore for the MTME/Truck tag on ao3!!!!!
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Huh? Explain: lore; MTME/Truck; ao3.
➔➔➔➔➔ yourfavyaoi no.
➔ conangrayisntreal everyone is speaking between the lines but I'll say it — she obviously figured out that you two are gay for each other. hope it helps! x
➔ Hildy Here for the Roommate/Best Friend saga! 🤖
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP WTF, get out of here, Hildy!
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 3 mo. ago
Found a Poem Secretly Written by My Roommate/Best Friend: APPRECIATION POST!
Look at this! I had no idea Truck had a creative bone in his body. I'm no expert either, but it's pretty good, right?
⇧6,243 ⇩ 💭 899
➔ hayleybailey this boy is SMITTEN!
➔ fionaapple4eva oh my God, when are you going to marry him and have his babies?!
➔➔ yourfavyaoi i bet this man could defy biology for his bestie
➔ miathepigeon THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON LONG ENOUGH. ARE YOU GAY OR ARE YOU NOT GAY
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I'm straight.
➔➔➔ miathepigeon there's not an OUNCE of proof of that in your reddit post history
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I have a son?
➔➔➔➔➔ miathepigeon like i said, NO PROOF!
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 2 mo. ago
Turns out my Rommate/Best Friend has had an option to live elsewhere all along but… I don't want him to move out.
It happened on accident. We were on shift yesterday, when our friend/coworker, Pavi, was talking about the residential buildings he's the landlord of. Don't ask, I have no idea how this 20-something year-old can have one building to his name, let alone several.
But I casually joked around and said, "maybe you can offer Truck an apartment". It was all in good fun, but the table turned silent immediately.
Truck wasn't around at the time, and Pavi confessed that he had offered apartments to Truck several times, but he'd refused each one. I asked if there was something wrong with them, if they were out of his budget (which would be understandable), but Pavi admitted that the money or the place hadn't been the problem, "it's just that [Truck] likes living with [me and my son]."
Which, um. Was nice to hear, don't get me wrong! I love living with Truck. I love having him around, feeling like a family unit, and playing house. But… This was supposed to be a temporary thing, our living arrangement. I never planned to have Truck around forever — what if he meets someone? what if I do? Things are bound to get a little strange if we carry on like this forever. I haven't even told my blood family about Truck living with us because I know what they'd think — they'd jump to all kinds of crazy conclusions. And I'm not stupid either — two grown men don't usually live together in the long term, unless there's something more to it.
It's just made me think a lot about what Truck means to me and what I mean to him, and I think we should have a talk about what I overheard from Pavi, even though I don't want it all to be over yet and want him around this way longer. What do you think I should say to let him in on where my head's at?
⇧9,188 ⇩ 💭 732
➔ stydia So? You thought about what Truck means to you and you came to what conclusion, exactly?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP That I don't want to lose him, basically.
➔➔➔ stydia You don't have to. There's a very simply solution to all this, actually.
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP What's that?
➔➔➔➔➔ stydia deleted | MOD: This comment has been removed for violating the rule against OVERLY EXPLICIT SPEECH.
➔ lomltaylor every time I read a new post from you, I know Taylor Swift has got a song about it
➔ minutestruck guys, is anyone else kinda freaking out? things are changing for REAL. as much as i want these guys to figure their shit out, i don't want this to end yet :(
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 2 mo. ago
My Rommate/Best Friend Called Me His Boyfriend To Get Out of Someone Flirting With Him On A Call
Yes, yes, I know this has nothing to do with us being roommates, but I've grown a soft spot for this sub (MODs, feel free to remove this).
But during yesterday's shift, a very attractive guy we were saving from a burning restaurant kitchen call grew fond of Truck and his big, strong arms that carried him out. He started shamelessly flirting him all the while I, a strong and capable firefighter-paramedic, took his vitals and Truck hovered nearby.
Just as the patient was going to ask Truck out, Truck suddenly walked over to me and rested his gloved hand on my shoulder. He's done it a million times before, but this time it felt different. There was meaning to it. And then he told the guy, "I'm sorry, but I'm sure my boyfriend wouldn't be too happy about you asking me out."
And, look. There are multiple ways firefighters try to turn down a patient flirting with them or asking them out. I have never been used an excuse, not by Truck, or anyone. This startled me, and I just looked at him, slack-jawed, probably, trying to wordlessly inquire about what the hell he's doing.
Except it was then that the patient finally addressed us and said, "Oh. Sorry. I figured there was something between you, but I didn't think that far."
Buck laughed, which left me even more baffled. So, now I'm trying to think.
Was this really an excuse? Or was it, in some twisted way, the full truth? We live together. We drive to and from work together. We are raising my son together. He's been there always, every step of the way, through thick and thin, through my messes and my failures. We have always been partners, but it hadn't occured to me until yesterday just how deeply than bond might go.
And now I'm kind of freaking out. Does Buck consider me his boyfriend? I mean, it wouldn't be so out in left field, but still. We don't kiss, or hold hands, or sleep together. (Except in the literal sense, sometimes we fall asleep together in my bed.)
Have I accidentally misled my best friend into thinking we're more? Have I somehow implied that I harbor romantic feelings for him?
And most importantly, is it possible that I do?
⇧17,456 ⇩ 💭 2,567
➔ MOD: We are keeping this post up as it is relevant to the ongoing famous Roommate/Best Friend saga, though slightly irrelevant to the subreddit. Good luck with your romantic endeavors, u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast!
➔ freakystuff I'm so glad you stressed that you're a strong and capable firefighter-paramedic, because it was truly vital to the story.
EDIT: lmao thanks for the 5,000 upvotes!
➔ peterparkerisacriminal Just sit down and think about every time you've felt romantic feelings towards someone, let it be your ex girlfriend or late wife (my condolences). Did it feel this way then, as how you feel around Truck now?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Not really. With my late wife, we fought a lot but making amends never felt the way I feel after I make amends with Truck. My girlfriends have always been temporary and I haven't felt a connection with them, unlike the strong connection I have with Truck. I have never even told him that I love him, but he knows I do — at least, I think he knows. I've never been able to talk about romance and love the way other people around me do. I don't know what to make of it all.
➔➔➔ peterparkerisacriminal Have you ever even considered that maybe you don't feel attraction the same way most people do? Not just towards women like everyone on this sub wonders about, but in general.
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I've never been able to truly figure out what people mean when they talk about the great romances of their life. But I do feel sexual attraction, I do feel love. For one, I know I love Truck, and if I wasn't straight (if I am), I would definitely want to have sex with him. I haven't felt that way with everyone I've been with though, only when I really feel connected to someone.
➔➔➔➔➔ peterparkerisacriminal Many people have shared the famous https://amigay.com quiz with you, but maybe also consider this: https://amidemisexual.com :)
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 1 mo. ago
I might be in love with my Rommate/Best Friend.
I finally know how to properly use the modern Reddit. And I've been working through it, reading your comments, reading stories from other people, and I think you were all right all along. I'm in love with Truck. I'm sexually attracted to him.
I also re-read all of my posts on this sub and it all seems so obvious now, I'm embarrassed. "How do you not know you're gay until you're 34?" I thought that was such a stupid thing to think, but after reading so many stories of people realizing their sexuality later in life, I understand the answer now.
So, this is me coming out as gay and… Something. You all can pat yourselves on the back now, you got it right from the first post.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to come to terms with it, and how to bring it up to Truck, especially since we live together, and I am not certain about what feelings he may or may not have. Just because he happens to be bisexual doesn't mean that he would be in love with me. That's just egoistical, and evidently offensive for me to be very sure of.
Any advice on how to tell him what I feel would be appreciated. Thanks.
-Eddie
⇧23,982 ⇩ 💭 3,151
➔ l0VER First of all, thank you for trusting us with your story — we're all immensely happy for you, Eddie. I've been following it along since day one but haven't commented until now, wary to lead you one way or another without knowing you in real life. But God. Am I truly, truly, proud of how far you've come in your acceptance, after being stuck in the denial phase for so long!
If I were you, I would come out to him first, before telling him about my feelings. We don't have Truck's point-of-view, so we truly don't know how he feels, despite in your posts being numerous hints that he feels the same way. So, maybe practice saying that you're gay first, before forever changing your relationship with him.
Good luck! <3
➔ urlocalbombera if anyone cares, i'm crying. i want this kind of love
➔ wtfgoeson I'm so lost, this is my first time on this subreddit, I just came here looking for help with what to do with a roommate who snores, who are these people?!
➔ glazeddonuts oh, the authors for the MTME/Truck tag on ao3 are about to lose their collective shits!
➔ yourfavyaoi why haven't you updated, why haven't you updated, it's been two weeks!!!!!!!!! Eddie, where are you!!!!! please tell us you're alive!!!!
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I'm alive.
➔➔➔ yourfavyaoi that's it??????
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP :) Post coming in the next hour.
r/Roommates
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 9d
My Rommate/Boyfriend Wants to Adopt a Dog.
I think it's entirely too soon, but he says now is as good as time as any, as my son is going off to college in a few years, and he will shun us if we get a dog when he's out of the house. So, I'm here to ask the following:
— How to train a dog not to bark and bother your neighbours;
— Best animal rescue places in the Greater Los Angeles area! We're willing to visit just about anywhere;
— How to make sure your boyfriend doesn't love the dog more than yourself.
Yes. I said boyfriend. And he has something to say, by the way!:
"I can't believe you used Reddit of all places to talk about your homosexual feelings for me, when you could've told them every day to my face. You're such a millenial."
We're the same age, by the way.
Love,
Buck and Eddie.
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