Work Text:
r/Relationships
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 6 yr. ago
Does my wife (f27) want to divorce me (m27) because I compared our life together to a vat of molten chocolate?
Haven’t used Reddit since I was a teenager but I reactivated my account since I seriously need incognito advice. Telling this to a friend would be just…embarrassing.
A little background: my wife and I got married fresh out of high school, after she got pregnant with our son (m8). We didn’t really want to get married, but it was expected of us because of my religious background.
Most of our marriage we’ve spent apart — for half of it, I was enlisted in the army, and for the other half, my wife was looking after her dying mom several states away. She moved on a whim, only leaving behind a note saying she needed some time apart. It was hard on me, trying to figure out how to raise my son all on my own, when I felt so angry at her and so useless about my own abilities. Something I’ve only recently managed to get over.
Last year, my son and I followed after her, moving from Texas to California. I started at the fire academy, focused on my job and raising my son. But, inevitably, my wife re-entered our lives. It started as a sort-of casual relationship with her behind our son’s back, until eventually I allowed her to meet our son again. And I couldn’t figure out how to feel about it, about her, until she told me she’s pregnant again.
At first, it totally freaked me out. I felt like I did at 18, being told I’m going to be a dad. It rocked my whole world. I could hear my mom’s voice so clearly in my head, “a child needs both a mom and a dad,” and I needed to provide that for this yet unborn child. I couldn’t afford to repeat the same mistakes and be away from them. I wanted our family to be whole.
Then last night, we had dinner. I had this whole plan of asking her to try and be a family again. But I was nervous. So nervous that I ended up drawing parallels between life and a vat of molten chocolate, inspired by a recent call we went on. And it might not sound that bad, but it was. She looked at me like I’d grown a second head and then proceeded to ask for a divorce.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t about my strange chocolate metaphor, though I can see how it could be a dealbreaker. But my attempts to re-establish a family with her were rejected, as she turned out to not be pregnant after all and thus wasn’t interested in pursuing our relationship any longer.
I guess I feel a bit lost now. We were estranged for so long but a divorce? That feels final. Metaphorically and legally binding. I keep thinking about my mom’s words and what’s going to happen to our son now. I feel like by failing my wife, I’ve failed him.
⇧457 ⇩ 💭 511
➔ ghostofsuburbia “a child needs both a mom and a dad” sounds like you’ve been fed a heteronormative rhetoric and you’re basing your entire relationship with your wife on it. nothing good can come out of that
➔➔ g00dgrief came here to say just that lmao
➔ sundri3dtomato so, you basically spent no time actually being married to your wife, were forced into the marriage in the first place, and not even once in this post do you refer to her as your romantic partner, but only as your child’s mother (both hypothetical and real)... buddy, a divorce was inevitable
➔ SpicyBottom idc about the rest, tell us about your chocolate metaphor
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I said something like… Sometimes life is like falling into chocolate and it dragging you down, but it’s also warm and sweet?
➔➔➔ SpicyBottom okay damn shakespeare
r/askculinary
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 6 yr. ago
Help find this recipe
So, my son’s (m8) mother died a few months ago and he’s been asking for a meal she used to make for him. The problem is, she never wrote it down or told me the recipe. It might be a Hungarian food — her dad was from there.
It’s basically like oil-fried bread, and you can put pretty much anything on top. She’d put sour cream, garlic, greens and cheese. Sometimes she’d make it a sweet dish and put strawberry jam on it.
Any ideas?
EDIT: Thank you to those of you kind enough to tell me the name of the food and offer your condolences. Fuck you to those of you who downvoted me because apparently it’s a crime to put jam on this “langos”.
⇧14 ⇩ 💭 41
r/Parenting
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 5 yr. ago
My son (m8) has nightmares about his dead mom
It’s been a hectic year for our family. Not only did we lose my son’s mom to a freak car accident, but a few weeks ago, my son was involved in the tsunami that struck Los Angeles. If not for the great efforts of my best friend, he probably would’ve died, too. (On that note, how do I properly thank a guy for saving my kid’s life?)
He’d been having nightmares since the tsunami, of a drowning lady, and started drawing her. At first I thought it might’ve been someone he saw during the disaster. But me and his teacher put two and two together and realized the “drowning lady” is actually his deceased mom.
As someone with a fair share of nightmare-worthy occasions that then feature in my dreams, I usually just try to forget them and move on. But this is my kid. I don’t want him to suffer any more than he has to.
Any advice?
⇧891 ⇩ 💭 95
➔ gruesomel0ver oh, man, so sorry for both of your loss. I think you could try assuring your son that while these bad things really did happen to him, they are in the past. all he can do now is learn how to move on with his life and find joy again. it just sucks your kid had to grow up so quickly.
➔ badassandbadasser Your best friend saved his life? That’s one hell of a friend.
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP He’s a keeper.
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 5 yr. ago
AITA for exploding on my (m28) best friend (m28) at a grocery store
So, it just so happened that my best friend did something reckless and I was legally shut off from all communication with him. As in, when a parking lot incident put me in jail for a few hours, I had to call my coworker to bail me out, not my ride-and-die guy. Which is just ridiculous.
To sorta explain our relationship, we are both firefighters and partners on the job. We work seamlessly on and off the field. The guy is AWESOME with my eight-year-old. I trust him with my son over my blood family. I really love the pseudo-family unit we’ve established over time.
But then he had to go and sue our department and thus break us apart. I get why he did the suing and the lawyer he hired fucked with him and all of us, so I’m not entirely mad at him about that. But me and my son are going through a hella lot right now and I need him. I need his support, his shoulder to lie on, his comfort. A fucking hug.
And so, when my team bumped into him at a grocery store run today, I went off on him and called him out for abandoning my son in his time of need. I said something like, “you know how much my son misses you? How could you? You’re not around,” and a lot of things I didn’t really mean, poking at an insecurity I know he has just so he could feel some of the pain I was feeling from going no-contact with him. Which, admittedly, is a shitty thing to do, but I was just so angry.
I don’t know when this whole lawsuit thing will be over, but I just want things to go back to normal. I want my best friend back. I miss him and I’m hurting.
⇧4,692 ⇩ 💭 2,903
➔ urlocalbombera Dude, this was a rollercoaster. You were in jail? A lawsuit? You called your bestie a dead-beat dad in public? I feel like I *have* to say YTA.
➔➔ danisnotonfire NOT THE DEAD BEAT DAD PART I’M HOWLING
➔ yourfavyaoi anyone else kinda getting…vibes
➔➔ maltesersRgay oh, 100%
➔➔➔ friedeggjellyfish well, actually, not every intimate relationship between two guys has to be gay
➔➔➔➔ yourfavyaoi nah, they’re fucking
r/CerebralPalsy
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 5 yr. ago
Accessible skateboard for my 9yo with CP
Look!!! After my son got into a skateboard incident at school, me and my best friend built him an accessible skateboard. It works perfectly. We followed the instructions on how to make it from
here,
if anyone’s interested. I’m so damn pleased for my kid.
⇧1,459 ⇩ 💭 71
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 5 yr. ago
AITA for appointing my (m28) best friend (m28) as my son’s (m9) legal guardian without telling him
So, uh. I work a dangerous job and came close to dying last week. Not even my first time, but I knew that now that I’m a single parent, I have to take some precautions. I looked at all the people in my life, my blood family, and knew that these aren’t the people I want raising my son in case something happened to me. But there was one person who I didn’t even have to think twice about. My best friend, Deer (fake name).
This guy is probably the best thing that ever happened to me and my son. My son literally wouldn't be alive without him, if Deer hadn't saved him during a natural disaster. He helps him with homework that flies over my head, he actively pursues his interests, he even taught him how to love veggies — a fight I couldn't win myself. My son is disabled, and Deer is so good with him. Our values on how to raise children align perfectly. I would even go so far as to say that Deer already is like a parental figure to him.
I was thinking of asking Deer if he wanted to be in my will as my son’s potential legal guardian, but then… Well, there’s not really a point, is there? After everything we’ve been through together, Deer would definitely say yes. Being vulnerable with him about this when he’s already struggling with almost losing me, it would probably take a toll on him. So… I didn’t tell him. This morning, I went to my lawyer and simply wrote him into my will.
Is this a crazy thing to do? Should I have told him beforehand?
⇧9,692 ⇩ 💭 3,459
➔ yourfavyaoi back again to say this guy’s relationship with his bestie is NOT platonic. “our values on how to raise children align perfectly”, you know it’s legal to marry a guy now, right?
➔➔ maltesersRgay the way he could’ve come up with ANY fake name and he chose something that’s similar to ‘dear’
➔ ghostofsuburbia YTA. who the hell does this without consulting the person first??? that’s a whole CHILD that Deer hasn’t asked for.
➔➔ maltesersRgay look at his other posts about this best friend of his. I think their relationship really does go beyond needing permission for this.
➔ urlocalbombera bestie aren’t BOTH of you firefighters, working a dangerous job? couldn’t have thought of anyone else who isn’t at an active risk of dying?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Oh, I forgot. Well, whatever.
r/ILoveMyBestFriendBut
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 5 yr. ago
How do I tell my best friend his ex sucks?
Context Flair: We’re firefighters.
It so happened that my best friend ran into his ex, his first big love, at an emergency we both attended the other day. I had never met this woman before, she exited my friend’s life before I came into his, but I do know she broke my guy’s heart. She went on some Eat, Pray, Love journey to Europe, left him behind looking after her apartment, and never returned. Naturally, I feel disdain. But damn is she absolutely insufferable in person, with an annoying face, too. And no one told me she’s about 20 years older than my 28yo friend? Red flags all over the place.
My coworker revealed some things about her on our way back to the station, while my best friend was dozing off. Turns out, they met because she, a 911 dispatcher, stole his number from her work system. WTF?! That’s ILLEGAL. And wrong on so many levels.
But the worst part is that my friend said he wants to meet up with her, get some closure he never received initially. I think it’s a horrible, outrightly bad idea. I know what it’s like to reconnect with your first love. You get pulled into it. You’re in pain all over again. I’m just worried this is going to end badly for him, and at the end of the day, I care about him too much to want to watch him get hurt. What do I do to stop him from meeting her?
EDIT: I wasn’t aware this subreddit was for people *in love* with their best friends. My bad. I’ll leave now. Also, I’m not JEALOUS!
⇧2,132 ⇩ 💭 326
r/Relationships
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 4 yr. ago
My best friend keeps cuddling me when we sleep in the same bed — feeling confused and… comforted?
As you know, there’s a pandemic raging on right now. Due to our jobs, I am rooming with three of my coworkers, and sharing a bed with one of them, my best friend. Which, you know, a pretty normal ordeal. At least now. Back when I was a teenager, my parents never allowed me to have sleepovers with my guy friends. Said it wasn’t a ‘guys’ thing to have sleepovers.
Except… My friend, Deer (fake name), well, he’s a bit clingy. We fall asleep normally, on separate sides of the bed, yet when I wake up to pee in the middle of the night, he’s always got his whole body grasping mine. Even though I really have to piss, I kinda lay there for a few minutes and just… enjoy it. I’m single. I don’t really receive any physical comfort from someone other than my son. It feels nice. Deer smells nice. His arms are so strong, yet so soothing around me.
I don’t even know where I’m going with this. Just wondering if it’s normal to cuddle with your best friend?
⇧7,481 ⇩ 💭 1,340
➔ gruesomel0ver TELL ME YOU GUYS SAW THE OTHER POV, OH MY FUCKING GOD. THEY ARE INSANE, DUMB BOYS!!!!!
➔➔ ghastlyqueer as one of the “three coworkers”, you have no idea how bad it is in real life.
➔➔➔ gruesomel0ver YOU KNOW THEM IRL????
➔➔➔➔ ghastlyqueer unfortunately.
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP What other POV?
➔➔➔ gruesomel0ver check out u/fuckley … I’m sorry in advance
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP He’s having BONERS?!
➔ ghastlyqueer https://amigayquiz.com (sorry about repeating the same comment, I just had to)
➔ conangrayisntreal yh i once cuddled with my best friend. we ended up fucking. second wedding anniversary coming up soon!
r/Hildy
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 4 yr. ago
My best friend bought me a fucking Hildy… As a prank. I hate this artificial intelligence thingy, it creeps me out. How do I make sure it doesn't spy on me?
⇧71 ⇩ 💭 124
➔ hayleybailey your friend bought you a 3000 dollar machine as a PRANK?????
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Is that not normal
➔➔➔ hayleybailey no??? is he a millionaire? what does he do???
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP We’re firefighters.
➔➔➔➔➔ hayleybailey no words.
r/MentalHealthSupport
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 3 yr. ago
I was shot on duty; experiencing panic attacks.
So, life’s been a bit of a rollercoaster lately. First, I got shot in broad daylight in the middle of my shift (firefighter). Then, the ransomware attack in LA. Then, broke up with my girlfriend because I kept panicking every time she was mistaken for my wife or my 10 year old’s mother.
The panic matured into panic *attacks*. That’s what I was told at the hospital anyway, even though I’m pretty damn sure panic attacks aren’t supposed to make you feel like you’re dying. My chest hurt so much, I thought I was suffering a heart attack.
I’ve never experienced anything like this. Can you guys help me with some coping mechanisms? Healthy ones. The breathing exercises don’t do shit for me and only make me panic more.
⇧841 ⇩ 💭 111
➔ kleptomaniasupport panic attacks can totally feel like heart attacks and it feels weird telling you this when you mentioned you’re a firefighter. you should know it. the hands this country is in…
➔➔ fionaapple4eva how about you pay some respect, this guy is struggling with something he’s never experienced before in his own skin
➔ miathepigeon hey! you can check out this youtube video on breathing exercises that don’t make people panic more. but remember, you’re supposed to learn them when you’re in your normal state, not only attempt them when you’re already suffering an attack! also, you ever heard of the jell-o method? it works wonders for relaxation!
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 3 yr. ago
AITA for telling my close-knit team that I’m leaving on Christmas
I’m not really sure why everyone in this sub is so obsessed with my life and constantly blowing up my notifications but here’s another AITA for you? Freaks.
So, I recently nearly died from being shot in my shoulder while on duty (firefighter), and it rocked up my whole world. My best friend’s still walking on eggshells around me, looking out for any potential danger, my girlfriend and I split up, and then… My 11 year old son fussing about Christmas apparently meant that he’s expecting this year’s to be the last one, because “I could be dead next year”. Which. Well, how am I supposed to process that other than by freaking out about the fact that any day I really could drop dead and orphan my son?
So, I didn’t want to wait any longer. I submitted my notice to the fire department and, starting with the new year, I won’t be working as an active-duty firefighter any longer. It’s deeply disheartening because I love my job and I didn’t really talk it through with anyone first, but it feels like my only choice. So, just yesterday, during a Christmas celebration with my team, I simply went and told them I’m leaving, receiving utterly shocked responses. My best friend (partner on the job) was especially distraught by this. He admitted that while he understood my decision, it hurt him that I didn’t confide in him first. I was just afraid that he’d try to convince me to stay, when I think this is what’s best for our family.
⇧8,791 ⇩ 💭 4,091
➔ romione guys i hope someone is writing u/Minutes/u/fuckley angst for ao3 rn
➔➔ stydia better make it angst WITH A HAPPY ENDING, i can’t take this
➔ freakystuff Dude, you do know that people could die at literally any point, even if they don’t work as active-duty firefighters, right?
➔➔ lomltaylor Dude, you do know that his wife died in an accident, right? I’m sure he’s aware
➔➔➔ freakystuff Then why the hell do this??? He’s just robbing himself of one of his joys in life.
➔➔➔➔ lomltaylor Parents will do anything to make sure their kids feel safe.
➔ minutesfuckley guys he called us freaks. do you think he knows about the omegaverse fics
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I’m scared to ask.
r/Relationships
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 3 yr. ago
My best friend’s new girlfriend is insufferable
You guys ever just want to pick your best friend up and shake the crazy out of him?
He’s dating the most INSUFFERABLE woman I’ve ever met. Just the sight of her irritates me. She’s a news reporter who’s done her fair share of questionable things in the past, including potentially putting the reputation of my old fire team at risk. She doesn’t like quesadillas, which is just crazy to me! And apparently she just can’t be in a room with my best friend for longer than 10 seconds without trying to eat his face. I get that he’s an attractive man, but really? Keep it in the privacy of your own home.
How do I gently tell him to BREAK UP WITH HER????
⇧5,902 ⇩ 💭 1,349
➔ peterparkerisacriminal not the quesadillas part!!! what a nightmare person /s
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP You get it.
➔ glowfishfever you think your best friend is attractive? i’m SURE
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I have eyes?
➔➔➔ yaoiforeva Heart eyes?
r/WhatIsIt
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 2 yr. ago
Found in my best friend’s drawer… Can’t figure out what these things are.
My best friend doesn’t wear rings and these would be kinda weird to wear on your finger, anyway?
⇧11,568 ⇩ 💭 873
➔ maltesersRgay Hm, dunno the word for these rings, but I can tell you the best way to use them!
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I’m all ears.
➔➔➔ maltesersRgay <removed>. <This comment has violated the Sub rules of Overly Explicit Speech>.
➔ l0VER two of the rings, two of you… have fun!
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP I am not having sex with my best friend.
➔➔➔ l0VER you should
➔➔➔ yourfavyaoi you should
➔➔➔ gruesomel0ver you should
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 2 yr. ago
AITA for almost killing my dad (m59) because I (m31) missed out on being a kid
I flew to my hometown for my dad’s retirement party last weekend. It’s not like I expected it to go well. But I didn’t expect to nearly kill my old man, who apparently has stents in his arteries, thus the retirement.
I didn’t do it on purpose, of course. But things got heated after my dad brought up an old story from my childhood, which he pointed out to have been this funny tale now, while back then I got severe punishment for it. And I got mad. I accused him of not being there for me growing up, that he cared more about work than his family, that because of him, I had to be “the man of the house” and raise my two younger sisters. His condition flared up and he almost collapsed right there at the party, if not for the fact that I quickly found his nitroglycerin. Turns out he hadn’t told anyone about it, not even my mom.
I’ve been going through some stuff with my mental health lately, for which I’m in recovery now. But he pissed me off and I kinda lost it. We talked a little about it after the party, I even told him that I’d been experiencing panic attacks, which he just took as “I guess you didn’t tell us because you didn’t want to seem weak”. Not that I expected any real comfort, but it stung regardless. In the end I decided that I want to be better than how my dad was with me, except I’d be doing it entirely for my own sake.
My folks and I have been in a rough spot ever since they tried to take my kid away from me for being an “unfit” dad, but this felt like the nail in the coffin. I won’t cut off contact with them anytime soon, but I really am hurt by how I’ve been treated by them.
⇧13,492 ⇩ 💭 4,501
➔ urlocalbombera damn, wish you’d have killed him <3 NTA
➔ goodgrief If my folks ever tried to take away my kid, this would’ve been done on PURPOSE. NTA obviously
➔ wtfgoeson are you ever not going thru it bro? your post history is depressing. (aside from the cock rings, of course. that gave me a laugh)
➔ yaoiforeva this…explains some things. good luck, bro
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 2 yr. ago
AITA for using my best friend’s sudden math skills for money
My best friend got struck by lightning recently and he gained the ability for math. Which is apparently a thing; something about the system rewiring after a major shock to it. Seems fake but this man didn’t know SHIT before and now he’s a math genius.
Ever since this discovery, we’ve been cheating our teammates out of their money by making them ask my friend complicated math questions, which he easily answers. Next I’m thinking we could hit up this secret poker club I go to. Any other ideas?
I already know I will be YTA’d but I don’t care, I’m a single dad and I need the money. Besides, it’s nice that my best friend survived this and we still get to hang out. I really lost it when his heart stopped.
⇧15,931 ⇩ 💭 7,935
➔ glazeddonuts bro casually said “my best friend got struck by lightning recently” like that isn’t the most bizarre thing to happen to someone
➔➔ yaoiforeva for the life this guy lives, it really isn’t all that shocking anymore
➔ hoeisumad do you and your best friend just have a major life event every other week or…?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Look, I don’t like this any more than you do.
➔➔➔ hoeisumad oh bestie you’re wrong, i’m eating this UP
r/Dating
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 2 yr. ago
Is it really weird to go to a golf club to pick up women?
⇧57 ⇩ 💭 111
➔ ciadude Yes.
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Elaborate?
➔➔➔ ciadude Are you aware that 77% of golfers are men?
➔➔➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Yeah but they probably only hang out to pick up women! EDIT: why are you all downvoting me!!!
r/Bisexual
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 1 yr. ago
My (m32) best friend (m32) came out as bi; how do I support him?
I’m not entirely surprised — I’ve caught him checking out other men’s behinds before. Witnessed him flirt with men without realizing he’s doing it. Hell, once upon a time, I briefly entertained the idea that maybe he had a crush on me upon first meeting me.
But this is obviously a big deal for Deer (fake name) — turns out he’s been struggling trying to figure out how to tell me, afraid it would change things between us. But it doesn't, right? Him currently dating a man shouldn’t change anything within our relationship. It’s the same as all the times he’s dated women before; we get used to a little less time together to make some room for our romantic partners. I told him as much. But he looked a little… Thrown back by it? Like maybe he *wanted* something to change. What am I missing? Did I say the wrong thing?
⇧2,982 ⇩ 💭 891
➔ brokeandbroker We need more context, dude. Do you know how he came to the realization he’s bi now?
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Well, okay. I started hanging out with this guy, another firefighter, and sorta excluding my best friend from our activities. It was just exciting having a new friend again, but I caught on eventually that Deer was feeling territorial and jealous of us spending time without him. What me and this new guy assumed initially was that Deer thought I was going to replace him, but turns out the jealousy wasn’t jealousy for the spot my new friend had in my life, but the one I had in his. Turns out he’d developed feelings for him, somewhere along the line. Not really sure how that happened, seeint as they met maybe twice.
➔➔➔ brokeandbroker Oh God. The plot is writing itself.
➔ goodgrief not to sound mean but are you dumb?
➔ drasticmeasures Dude. DUDE. Do we really need to spell it out for you
➔ hahafunny man’s never heard of best friend curse evidently
➔ meangirlz You ABSOLUTELY said the wrong thing. You shouldn’t have said anything at all, actually, but just grabbed and kissed him.
r/Relationships
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 1 yr. ago
TURNS OUT MY GIRLFRIEND USED TO BE A NUN?????
I have enough Catholic guilt to be dealing with this. I’m hallucinating her as a Saint??? I can’t even get it up anymore because GOD’S WATCHING
⇧9,471 ⇩ 💭 556
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 1 yr. ago
AITA for nearly kissing my (m32) best friend (m32) at a Bachelor party (I’m straight)
Title might be misleading, I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to put this with the character limit. I’m still not entirely sure what happened but I know that something almost did.
Last week, I helped my best friend Deer (fake name) organize a Bachelor party for our common friend. We invited all our friends (and Deer’s sorta boyfriend), but when the groom didn’t show up (you don’t wanna know), they all left. Obviously, I wasn’t going to just leave Deer behind, especially when I spent a fortune on our matching suits, and I’d already booked time away from my 13-year-old, so I stayed. Long story short, we ended up partying with a bunch of drag queens, getting absolutely hammered, and singing karaoke badly.
Most of the night, I don’t even remember. But today I got this random flash of memory, of Deer practically in my lap, his arm wrapped around my neck, blabbering nonsense real close to my face. I remembered a moment where he lost his balance a little (from all the tequila, I’m assuming), and his face bumped into mine. It was at the same moment I looked away, so instead of his mouth literally smashing into mine, his lips merely brushed my cheek. Which… I don’t know how to feel about it. I just remember feeling very warm. It was probably all the partying.
I guess I just feel a little weird because we’re both dating other people and we nearly kissed. What if we had??? Even if it was an accident.
⇧27,971 ⇩ 💭 8,992
➔ goodgrief YTA for turning away, wtf, KISS THAT MAN ALREADY
➔ damndude just caught up on all of your and u/fuckley’s posts. I have quite literally never run to AO3 quicker than I just did.
➔ yaoiluver this shit’s better than young royals
➔ dreamydude I ABSOLUTELY want to know why the groom didn’t show up to his own Bachelor party.
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP Would you believe me if I said he had encephalitis and got lost in a hallucination of his past?
➔➔➔ hoeisumad dude do you ever get a day off
r/TedLasso
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 1 yr. ago
Is Roy gay? Just getting vibes from all that repression.
⇧12 ⇩ 💭 89
➔ roykentistheman Surely YOU would know something about being gay and repression.
r/Parenting
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 1 yr. ago
I fucked up
I am so deeply ashamed of even admitting it, but after sobbing in my 13-year-old’s room for the better part of the past few days, I just need to get this off my chest. Talking about this with my best friend is a no-go. I hurt him, too, in the process, and I’m not ready to face him just yet.
A few weeks ago, I ran into this woman at a store. I had to do a double take, because there was no way. This woman, Kia, looked like the carbon copy of my late wife, my son’s mother, who passed away 5 years ago. I just had to talk to her. It felt like… I’m not sure how to explain it.
I started seeing her, going on sort-of dates with her. Nothing romantic or sexual happened, but she was definitely interested in pursuing me. I wouldn’t tell her about my wife, not until my best friend happened to run into her and call me out about the crazy I was doing. I ended up inviting Kia to my house, showing her pictures of my late wife, and explaining that I never got closure with her.
She left, of course, feeling disdained. But then she came back later, having styled her hair like my wife’s, wearing a dress that looked just like hers, and telling me to pretend that she was my wife. She looked exactly like her. So, after fighting it for a moment, I indulged and told Kia the goodbye I’d always wished I could’ve told my wife.
And then, just as we were embracing, the absolute worst thing happened. My girlfriend arrived at home, with my son in tow, and for one excruciating second, my son thought that Kia was his dead mother.
My girlfriend, of course, broke up with me, not even wanting to hear my excuses about our relationship being strictly platonic. But the worst part came the next day, when my folks who live in another state showed up on my doorstep, claiming my son had called them to fly over and… Pick him up. As in, take him away from me and move to Texas, indefinitely.
I have never felt more like a failure in my life. For the first time, I sought someone out for my own sake, for my own grief. But I ended up hurting my son in the process, and losing our steady, loving relationship. How am I supposed to come back from this? How am I supposed to get him back? How much time am I supposed to give him before we can talk?
⇧3,831⇩ 💭 1,392
➔ oliverstork Kia is an absolute creep! She dressed up as your late wife to get close to you? That’s actually criminal behavior.
➔ ryangoodman you should definitely give him some time to cool off, but don’t wait too long and let him slip completely through your fingers. try, even if he isn’t willing to talk. you need to put in the effort before things get better again.
➔ ryliver this sounds like the plot of fucking vertigo
r/CatholicGuilt
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 196d
Priest assumed I’m gay
I ran into this priest that I went to confession with a bit ago, and he started what I assume was hitting on me and insinuating that my Freddie Mercury inspired mustache and the fact that I substituted a juice bottle for water makes me gay? Huh. What does juice have to do with my sexuality? I’m straight! I was even wearing a tank top, which is like the straightest outfit ever.
⇧891 ⇩ 💭 81
➔ goodgrief I think you and the rest of the world have very different understandings of “looking” gay, mate
r/ElPaso
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 99d
Moving back; is it still the same?
Haven’t lived in El Paso since 2018. I’m mostly wondering about that funky ice cream shop by the Botanical gardens, is that still a thing? They had the best mint and chocolate chip in town!
EDIT: Stop downvoting me, you tasteless fucks. Mint and chocolate chip rocks!
⇧41 ⇩ 💭 89
r/uberdrivers
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 71d
No one tipping me???
Currently El Paso based. Is it a Texan thing not to tip or am I doing something wrong? I try to engage my customers in conversation and talk about our lives, I try to get them to their destination ASAP, but I get 0 tips? First week working, btw.
⇧0 ⇩ 💭 126
r/Relationships
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 57d
My best friend slept with his stupid ex at my HOME!
Appalled, is one way to put it.
I recently moved back to my home state from California, thus leaving behind the house I’ve been renting for the past seven years. After many failed (and sabotaged) attempts at finding a subletter, it just so happened that my best friend Deer (fake name) suggested that he could be the one taking over the lease. He wanted to make the move easy on me, which I appreciate.
What I DON’T appreciate is that he brought over his ex-boyfriend to hook up with him at said house. MY HOUSE! Well, technically, not my house anymore, but it used to be! How dare he taint this house with his stupid ex? I used to sleep in that bed!
P.S. I’m not homophobic, his ex just fucking sucks. He’s kinda ugly, too, which makes me question Deer’s taste in men. Arguably far more attractive men have lived in that house before, but whatever.
⇧8,451 ⇩ 💭 1,322
➔ yaoiluver ooooh, you wanna smooch him so bad
➔ dreamydude guys, guys, this is not a drill, is he finally *realizing* things?
➔ hoeisumad For real, dude. Are you aware that 95% of your Reddit post history is about this Deer dude? I understand that you’re deep in the closet, but you can’t get away with this anymore. You’re IN LOVE with your best friend. If no one else’s gonna say it, I will.
➔➔ MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP How do you know? That you’re in love with someone?
➔➔➔ hoeisumad Bestie, I’m gonna DM you. I went through the same thing you did before I went and married my wife.
r/Relationships
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 31d
OK I get it y’all, I’m gay, what now though
This is certainly not an easy post to make, and it’s been a long time coming. I realize I’ve gathered quite an audience on this account, and I feel it’s time for me to come out and say what I’ve been dealing with recently.
So, you were all right. I was so deep in the closet, I had even convinced myself that I’m straight, what, with my deep-rooted desire to date women. I think, maybe, I dated women my whole life because I’d find it more comfortable. More fitting into whatever image I wanted to paint myself to be. But that’s not my truth. Not my real desire. I like women as friends and comrades. I saw my late wife as my best friend. My kid doesn’t need a new mom when he already has one, even if she’s passed away.
All along, dating women has felt like a big performance. Like I was trying to follow some script my parents wrote out for me when they were bringing me up with my half-Mexican, Texan Catholic background. But it was never me. As much as I wanted to be that person, with the wife and the kids and the picture-perfect heteronormative family, it’s not me.
I’m in love with my best friend, who has the capability of loving me back, but why would he? He knows me inside out, knows all my messes, all my faults, the way I end up sabotaging any relationship I ever fall into. I can’t afford to lose him. But I can’t afford to not have him either. He’s my goddamn lifeline, my reason for getting out of bed every day, the love of my screwed-up life. I don’t know if I can go on, knowing what I know now, without blurting it out the next time I see him.
I don’t want to move on, but should I at least try? I’m not sure I’d ever be deserving of my best friend’s love. Not in this capacity, anyway.
⇧27,961 ⇩ 💭 10,348
➔ yaoiluver this is the best day of my life
➔ hoeisumad so proud of you ♥️
➔ goodgrief you better catch the next flight and kiss your man
➔ damndude queer joy exists? why has it not come to me
➔ drasticmeasures can i get the wedding invitation?
➔ hahafunny GO GET YOUR MAN, BOY!
➔ meangirlz is anyone else crying?
➔ romione you better print out all these reddit posts and scatter them around your wedding venue
➔ stydia an even better slowburn than stydia, omg
➔ yourfavyaoi i’m just so emotional, he got there, guys!
“Buck?”
“Yeah?”
“Christopher wants to come home.”
“What?”
“We’re packing everything up already. We’ll be home as soon as we can.”
A sniffle.
“That makes me so happy, Eddie.”
“Yeah. Me, too. And, uh.” A pause. “You make me happy, too.”
“Ditto.”
r/AmITheAsshole
u/MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast • 3d
AITA for kissing my best friend stupid
So, I was stinky and sweaty from my travels, but the moment I saw my best friend waiting for me and my son at the airport arrival gate with a stupid sign that said “CALIFORNIAN BOYS WERE ALWAYS BETTER THAN TEXAN”, I just couldn’t help it. I dropped my suitcase, ran up to him, grabbed him tightly and kissed him. In front of everyone at that airport. My first gay kiss, in PUBLIC. Right before my very disgusted, yet delighted son, too.
The best part? He kissed me back just as stupid.
:)
⇧40,123 ⇩ 💭 11,492
➔ fuckley You said you were going to the bathroom to poop, not make a Reddit post!
➔➔
MinutesToMidnightEnthusiast OP
I’m a multitasker.