Chapter Text
Noritoshi knows that being strung-up and withdrawn hasn't helped him all that much throughout high school, so when he's accepted into college and his parents agree — for the first time in years — that the best option for him is picking shared accommodations in order to better his social skills, he reluctantly agrees. His father has more than sufficient funds for him to live in his very own apartment for the duration of his studies but to his mother his life experience comes first. Noritoshi respects his mother's advice too much to argue with her decision, even if the prospect of sharing a living space in such close quarters with a complete stranger makes his skin crawl.
It comes as a small relief, then, that his former classmate Todo Aoi has applied and qualified for a scholarship at his same college. Noritoshi's anxieties about this next chapter of his scholastic career are somewhat eased when Todo accepts to be roommates. A prospect that would have made his skin crawl in high school is now the preferable option; the irony is not lost to him. He feels it less and less as the day of the move approaches, however, as Todo proves to be remarkably proficient at every preliminary task and impeccably organized. He even helps Noritoshi along with his paperwork and the enrollment process goes over timely and smoothly.
Their room is tinier than Noritoshi would have liked (the sheer bulk of his roommate makes it look even tinier when he walks in,) but it has large windows with a nice view on a large cherry tree and two separate desks of adequate size. The biggest disappointment is finding out there's bunk beds. Kamo would have much rather had two beds on either side of the room (and maybe even some partition in between for privacy) but he still takes some childlike satisfaction in claiming the top bunk for himself. He gets no complaints from Todo, and Todo gets none from him after going through a long list of rules about his many (excessive) idol paraphernalia. Thankfully, they seem to be on the same page for most issues around the sharing of what little space their room affords them, which seems to bode well enough.
All in all, Noritoshi looks at this less-than-ideal solution with cautious optimism. Todo can be loud, boisterous and hardheaded, but he's also hard-working and clean, which at the very least make for an easy cohabitation.
Or so Noritoshi thought.
The first time it happens, Noritoshi thinks it's a earthquake.
He wakes up in a daze, feeling the bed frame shake beneath him, wood unmistakably creaking at the joints. His sleep addled brain struggles to grasp onto the checklist of what to do in these situations. Bursts of seismic activity aren't rare in their area, but the movement ramps up, jostling him unpleasantly.
The floor, he reminds himself as he shifts into action. The floor is stable.
The shaking abruptly stops as soon as he's halfway down the ladder, but once he touches the ground he stands still to make sure it's really gone. In his stillness he hears a frustrated sigh from the bed behind him followed by the rustling of sheets. Todo's often a sharp man and it doesn't surprise Noritoshi that his roommate has been roused as well.
"Nothing's been disturbed," Noritoshi notes as he squints into the darkness, sure that Todo will be relieved about his precious collection of merchandise remaining safe.
"Alright?" Todo replies with fog of breathless confusion in his voice. "Good to know."
Noritoshi stands in the middle of the room for a second longer, blinking slow and bleary. Todo cuts through his thoughts again, sounding annoyed for some reason. "Do you need the bathroom?"
"Hm? No."
"Cool." Todo's up out of bed suddenly, brushing past him brusquely and, even as far as bed clothes go, Noritoshi is always shocked by how little Todo wears, and averts his eyes politely. His nose catches a whiff of an atypical smell as he strides by him, offended for the very first time in their cohabitation, but he can't put a name to the scent. When he hears the hiss of the shower turn on, Noritoshi's not as shocked. Evidently Todo must have dozed off before his usual post-workout shower.
Noritoshi feels like he's obligated to mention that in the case of aftershocks it might not be wise… but, honestly, there's nothing more he wants to do than quietly crawl back into bed and let things come as they may. So that's what he does.
The next time it happens, Kamo's still awake enough to distantly hear the rustling of the sheets right before the rocking starts up. He doesn't think much of it (Todo is a big guy, he can feel the bed moving every time he turns over) until the rhythm picks up. Turned to the side as he is, one ear half-smothered by the soft foam pillow, he can't quite make sense of the sounds coming from below, but his ears do pick up something unusual — breathy and a little frantic. It makes a little alarm bell go off in his brain. Just as quickly, the motion slows to a stop before he has a chance to figure out what his roommate might be doing to cause all that jostling. Todo must be awake, though, because shortly after he hears him getting up and going to the bathroom. The muted sound of running water makes him perk up a little. He's known Todo to be nearly maniacal about his personal hygiene but taking a second shower merely a couple of hours after the one he took before bed seems excessive.
Noritoshi's vague sense of unease doesn't fade until after Todo is done in the bathroom and settles back into his own bed. Sleep doesn't come to him for a long while after that, ears tuned in to the sound of his roommate's breathing.
The next couple of days are very eventful, as fresher's week rolls towards the weekend. While his fellow resident students organize get-togethers after hours, by the end of the day Noritoshi is too overstimulated to take advantage of his new-found freedom from parental control. He might be going to bed earlier than he did when he had to abide to his parents' strict curfew, in fact. The exhaustion helps subduing the lingering unpleasantness of sleeping in a still unfamiliar place.
Luckily for him, Todo doesn't seem too keen on disrupting his strict schedule in the name of college life either; the guy goes to bed quite early and wakes up supremely early to work out, which thankfully happens outdoors, away from Noritoshi's ears and nose. Noritoshi usually wakes up to the sound of Todo taking his morning shower, not entirely annoyed by it. Their routines seem to be compatible enough and sync up acceptably for the first couple of weeks, which seems to bode well for the upcoming semester.
Things take a turn when orientation week is over and things slowly settle into a less hectic rhythm.
Focusing on his classes is evidently less vexing for Noritoshi than being forced to constantly socialize since, after a while, he doesn't feel as tired as he did during his first few weeks at college. He doesn't go to bed quite as early anymore. Todo, on the other hand, maintains his routine like clockwork.
This shift in his bedtime means Noritoshi is fully awake when the bed starts rocking again — and, even worse than that, he's fully awake to hear what comes immediately before that. He's distracted at first, his whole focus circumscribed to the luminous cone of his reading light. He's used to Todo being bulky and noisy underneath him by now, so he pays little attention to the shifting and the click of a lid snapping open and closed again. There's slick sounds, realistically from lotion being abundantly applied somewhere — one of the many steps of Todo's extensive self-care routine.
Then comes the panting.
That's when Noritoshi's brain tunes in to what is going on directly below him. His initial, hopeful guess that Todo might be having a nightmare is immediately disproved by the buildup of smacking, slithery friction accompanying the heavy, laboured breathing.
His family were never the progressive kind when it came to such things but Noritoshi's not nearly sheltered enough not to realize what exactly is going on in the bottom bunk. The sounds immediately transport him back to being thirteen and unsuspectingly laying eyes upon an illicit video when a phone is shoved in his face by some snickering classmates; they're unfortunately unmistakable.
Noritoshi's ears burn as he silently begs any higher power that his roommate is instead helping himself to mixing up an evening protein shake. As he catches a hummed little sound of enjoyment underneath him he wishes simply to either die or kill. But he's a man of class, and will handle the hurdle as such. Lamentably, he can't think of a single classy way to put a firm stop to what's currently happening. The idea of speaking out and acknowledge the situation is actually worse than simply enduring it.
So Kamo stews in silence until the offense is over and his roommate gets up to go to the bathroom for the second time that evening. Finally, all the pieces fall into place: this is what has been disturbing his sleep this entire time and it has been repeatedly happening mere feet away from him. The realization keeps Noritoshi up for good part of the night, which only gets him more annoyed and fixated on it especially as Todo seems bright and refreshed in the morning.
Noritoshi sleeps poorly (if at all) after the discovery, paralyzed in frantic outrage. He doesn't speak a word of it, too scandalized to acknowledge it. So it keeps happening night after night without fail.
At first Noritoshi assigns malicious intent behind all of these moments; one Aoi Todo's long term plan to torment him into madness. The man is ever capricious so it's not hard to imagine ending up on his bad side due to some earlier slight. Though having seen the way his roommate handles his affairs…his opinions of people may be built on strange criteria but he's always one to settle things swiftly, upfront, and often with fists.
So then, of course, he figures Todo may be doing this out of pure ignorance. That he's too stupid to realize what a nuisance he is, how obscene it is to 'take care' of himself so openly (though Noritoshi has been in the shadow of his academic achievements for half a decade now and knows the man approaches the level of genius he boasts about. So he's not stupid but that doesn't count out an absurd level of social blindness.)
Finally, and with a prickle of potential humiliation he considers… what if this is how everyone else operates and he's ever the sheltered little rich boy who's ended up being the strange one? It's too horrible to give stock to so he doesn't, instead committing to problem solving in his own way.
His first solution is to try and go to sleep earlier to avoid being awake for Todo's regularly scheduled session, but the new-found knowledge of his bunk mate's nightly activities keeps him too on edge. He winds up being awake for the whole thing each night. Todo gets to it every day like clockwork and Noritoshi pretending to be asleep for it seems to make things even worse. The rocking gets even more pronounced when Todo really gets into it — and there's the grunting. The low, satisfied groaning seems to reverberate through flesh and bone even when Noritoshi stuffs his fingers so deep into his ear canals he fears for his eardrums. He can't escape those awful sounds. He never dares to look down, obviously, but the bouncing and creaking of the bed combined to the wet smacking sounds paint quite a clear picture in his mind — one of Todo growing excited enough to chase the motion of his hand with his hips — and he hates it.
He can't fathom any decorous way to deal with it; no experience in his entire life so far has prepared him for anything like that. The thought of speaking of it with anyone for advice almost brings a tear of shame to his eyes. So he bears his burden alone.
After the first month of his college residency, Noritoshi finally resolves to set at least some decorum to the side and attempt to clue Todo in to the predicament he's causing. He'd rather not embarrass his roommate, of course. Subtlety is key here.
"Did you sleep well?" he starts.
"Like a rock."
Noritoshi is ashamed to say that the blunt answer shakes him out of following up for the day.
He tries again later, hoping that gentle implications will get through and save both their dignities. "I was up quite late reading," Noritoshi begins, looking carefully over at his roommate who's busy at his laptop. "I hope my reading light didn't disturb you."
The dense dolt simply recommends a brand of sleeping mask that he swears his life by, coming as close to gentle implications as Todo ever gets as he states that they do wonders for eye bags.
And yet again another day: "Quite noisy last night, wasn't it?" Noritoshi can't keep the edge out of his tone.
"Was it? I had my earbuds in streaming Takada's new single. Were the guys down the hall partying again?" Todo's look of concern is interrupted by a brilliant idea blooming across his face and Noritoshi stays carefully neutral in the wake of it. "Actually... if I get them to add her to their playlists it might help her in the charts…"
He hopes Todo doesn't dare. They're already annoying enough without drunkenly blasting shrill pop music too. He snaps his sleep mask on and drops onto the covers with a huff.
Later on finds Noritoshi besieged with weariness and growing eye bags, but he's still committed to his hopeless mission. He mutters into his notes. "I couldn't fall asleep yesterday, I had too much on my mind…"
"Mh. You study too much, Kamo, you need some diversion too," Todo suggests. Then, perking up: "You should listen to—"
"Absolutely not." Never willingly in his life.
Todo's obtuseness is beginning to be retroactively embarrassing for Noritoshi as well. He can hardly believe he's lived in the academic shadow of this guy for the past six years of his life. He can't even fault himself for running low on gentle implications at this point.
"Did you hear anything anything, uhm… weird last night?" Noritoshi tries again, desperately pushing himself to be (what he thinks is) as obvious as he can get.
Noritoshi dares to be hopeful for the split second that his roommate seems to be thinking about, but then it all predictably comes crashing down. "You talk about your mom in your sleep sometimes, but it wasn't anything embarrassing!"
"I-I do NOT! Ugh, Never mind!" Noritoshi flushes red, leaving the room followed by a howl of laughter.
It takes a little longer next time, as he's at his wits end, but he persists on. "Y-you… toss around a lot, don't you?"
"Didn't realize it was bothering you."
Yes! Noritoshi lights up from the inside. Sweet progress! His smile of relief matches his roommate's, and before Noritoshi can question why the huge man seems glad he gives a hearty slap to his own meaty chest. "I simply can't help it!"
"…I'm positive you can help it a little?"
"No can do," Todo shakes his head, tutting. "Even in rest my CPU is staying sharp and active! I've trained for years on fully immersive lucid dreaming to maximize my days."
"…Excuse me?" Noritoshi drops to his desk chair in bafflement, but his curiosity gets the better of him. "How is that not even more exhausting?"
"Exactly the opposite! I can go anywhere I like, as peaceful or chaotic as I wish." The strangest man Noritoshi's ever met taps his head with a smug glint in his eyes. "You just need good discipline to keep in check."
As Todo theorizes on and on about the soul and the collective unconsciousness, Noritoshi faintly begins to worry that even Dream Todo may be tormenting him on another plane of existence that he's not even aware of.
That night, Noritoshi finds that even beyond the wet slapping going on under him that closing his eyes and visualizing getting his hands on his aggravating roommate simply keeps him more awake than ever.
… If Todo's mind is so over active maybe that's why he's always seeking release? Perhaps he needs to loosen up other ways. "Have you tried meditation?" Noritoshi asks, walking briskly to keep up with Todo on their way to one of the few classes they share.
Todo lights up. "There's an amazing waterfall an hour out from here! Nothing makes you feel more at one with yourself than testing your body's limit's under the beat of freezing water! " He starts out, and then extrapolates on and on until Noritoshi finds himself agreeing to someday join him on one of his martial arts retreats and at the same time trying to engineer a way to back out.
He's tried everything that comes to his mind, but nothing works. All his allusions seem to go right over Todo's head.
Subtlety might be a lost art — it sure seems lost on Aoi Todo.
Noritoshi bemoans its loss, listening to the cacophony of guttural grunting and enthusiastic creaking with mournful resignation in his heart.
On top of college life growing more and more demanding, sleep deprivation begins to take a toll on poor Noritoshi. Despite his best efforts, he's irritable and snappy most of the time. It doesn't take long for Todo to call him out on his sour mood.
"You're acting very unpleasant lately, Kamo," he points out and Noritoshi gallantly holds himself back from making a cutting retort about unpleasantness.
"I haven't been sleeping well recently," he says instead, mentally pleading for his roommate to finally get the hint but holding no true hope.
"Hm." Todo looks at him consideringly. "Sounds like the stress is getting to you," he says — which is yet another way Noritoshi could try to put it, if anything he said had any real chance of getting through that thick skull.
Before he can make another attempt at diplomatic indirectness, Todo's giant mitt comes down on his shoulder, jostling him like so many times before. He must really look pathetic, because his roommate smiles at him sympathetically, fingers squeezing in what he assumes is meant to be a comforting gesture.
"You should try jerking off before bed, it'll relax you right to sleep!"
Noritoshi is too stunned to speak, shocked speechless either by the irony or by the sheer magnitude of his outrage.
Finally, Noritoshi splutters for a moment, tripping over syllables of accusations and defenses both. He cringes in on himself over his own incoherence.
"No need to play shy, Kamo! We all do it!"
"Well I—" I Don't is what Noritoshi means to say, but Todo's warm hand leaves his shoulder as he crosses his arms instead to size him up. Noritoshi's skin feels frigid with mortification.
"You know, I haven't heard you even once since we've got here…"
"Good!" He doesn't mean to raise his voice, but he's prickling in defensiveness.
"Yeah?" Todo has the absolute gall to chuckle at him. (Him!? Like Noritoshi's the one who's being strange and embarrassing!) "With a family like that, I see you've really had to take your stealth seriously."
"Someone ought to," Noritoshi spits out before the words gum up in his mouth, sticking with embarrassment. Of course, what Todo says is true but such crude talk shouldn't be brought up in polite company.
Though Todo unfortunately is anything but, and he proves the point as he crosses his meaty arms and smiles like they're great friends. "No need to be shy around me, man!"
Noritoshi doesn't even have words, he hasn't even had breakfast yet and he has to think about his roommate analyzing his deeply personal habits. Perhaps with every night of sleep he steals from Noritoshi, he gains more energy. It would explain why this freak seems so ready to get up at dawn to workout and tackle his morning classes.
"But I'll give you your privacy for now, I have class to get to." And with an infuriating wink, Todo's slung his bag over his shoulder on his way out the door and seemingly uncaring that he's left Noritoshi incoherent with mortification in his wake.
Weekends away from parental control prove to be a temptation nearing the potency of a siren call for Kamo. He uses most of his free time preparing for classes, of course (that's what he's there for,) but he gradually learns that allowing himself the luxury of sleeping in every now and then doesn't negatively affect his studying regime. On the contrary, after all the nights sleep he's missed out on lately because of his roommate's obsession with self discovery, the extra hours of sleep are the only thing that somewhat restore him before a new week.
When Noritoshi's eyes blearily blink open that morning, the room is still so dusky that he thinks it might be just after dawn. One look at the clock hanging in his line of sight tells him he's off by quite a few hours. He lifts his head up just enough to notice the gloomy sky behind the rain-streaked windows. He blinks a couple more times, then settles back down on the pillow and closes his eyes, listening to the soft tapping of the water on the roof.
It takes him a while to notice he's not alone in the room, which is unusual even on weekends. Todo must have opted for sleeping in too instead of doing his usual morning jog and full body workout at the gym. There's a soft rustling coming from the bunk below that tells his roommate is still in bed.
With the rain drumming beats on the glass it's subtle at first, but then his ears tune into the sound of Todo's breathing. There's an airy quality to it, something Noritoshi might have assumed was the wind from outside if it wasn't followed by the low sigh of Todo's exhale. The alarm bells in Noritoshi's start going off even as he takes note of something not quite familiar.
Todo sounds different than usual; his breathing is laboured in a way that speaks more of focus than effort, subdued as if he were trying to actually contain himself for once. He feels like he's intruding — as if he hasn't been made an unwilling audience to all of his roommate's intimate exploits up to that point anyway.
Turning his face towards the wall is a mistake, the quiet sounds bounce off the concrete surface and reach him crystal clear. He can hear Todo as if he were panting right against his ear. That's also when he noticed there is a gap between the edge of his mattress and the bed frame.
He can't justify his next move. He'd sooner say it's out of foolish optimism than a careless bout of curiosity. Before giving himself the time to contemplate just how bad a decision it is, he peek over the side of his bed and through the gaps between the wooden slats. Todo's face is directly below his line of sight, looking shockingly enraptured. Luckily, Todo is laying face-down, half smothered in the pillow, eyes closed, his usually furrowed brow now pulled in a yearning line, mouth hanging open from sweet shock. He's got his covers pulled all the way up, but his contained squirming is making them slip off his shoulders. Noritoshi can make out the strain in his left arm, pulled back to reach somewhere under the covers, downwards behind his back…
Noritoshi peels his face away from the edge feeling the sharp sting of mortification reverberate to his core. There is little doubt about what he has just witnessed his roommate doing. Perhaps the biggest shock is finding out what that looks like. It has never sounded like it looks now — soft and wanting. There's no huffing and puffing, no animalistic grunting nor noisy race to a greedy, nasty peak — instead he sounds airy, overcome. Something about it makes Noritoshi's scalp crawl with something warm and squirmy.
He realizes his own breathing has picked up, body lit up with adrenaline. His heart is racing too, though not in seething reproach this time. He doesn't have a name for the strange confusion that obsessively clings to the clandestine image of Todo below him just now.
The next languid exhale from below makes the knot in his chest coils lower in his stomach. The sounds Todo is making seep into his skull, searing into the softest parts of his brain. His whole body seems to throb along with his heartbeat, glowing with heat.
Mortification slowly veers into horror when he feels a first, timid pull between his legs. He stuffs the pillow around his head as if he were trying to smother himself along with the dull, growing ache in his groin. He blames the adrenaline then.
He lies there long after Todo gets up and turns on the shower, stiff as a board, reverberating with outrage that he doesn't quite know where to direct.