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Part machine, part bug, all TV-riffic talent. Such were the three ingredients that made Mr. Ant Tenna the marvelous piece of work that he was.
Granted, he tended to keep the bug part of that equation on the down-low. Bugs were a niche interest. Most viewers got a bit squicked out and put off when the host sprouted a second pair of arms, or when his smile housed a pair of twitchy mandibles. He could get away with his antennas, his namesakes, because they were part of the brand, but there were times where even that was pushing it.
He had Kris, as was the case with many facets of his being, to thank for his insectoid traits. The kid was a fan of creepy crawlies. But when it came down to it, the ratings didn’t lie. So he kept those bits of him tucked away.
It was fine, really.
No skin off this cathode’s chassis.
—
Someone was poking at his antennas. He had powered down for a midday (or rather, the time they all collectively agreed would count as midday) nap, only to find himself jostled awake when something brushed and poked at his sensitive feelers. And even with his optics turned off, Tenna knew exactly who it was.
Apples…hey, starshine.
He strained his antennas to keep them from twitching as Kris poked at one of his bulbs. The kid had managed to sneak into his room without him hearing, apparently. Granted, they were small, but that armor of theirs was clunky as all get out. He had no idea how they’d climbed up onto his bed all on their own, either. However they managed it, here they were, with their hands gripped around his antennas, which were covered in the sweet scent of the human’s apple-scented shampoo.
Without powering on his screen, Tenna said, “need something, Kris?”
It was a downright herculean task to not laugh when they jumped away with a startled yelp. He deserved a medal, frankly!
Tenna followed the vibrations to where Kris had flopped back against the pillow. He pinched their scarf between his fingers, and picked them up, before he gently dropped them down onto his chest. They landed with a quiet ‘oof’ that made him chuckle. Ah, scratch that about the medal…
He felt Kris shift about while he booted up his optics. As the world blinked into view, a low degauss drone sounded from within his head. The first thing he saw was Kris sitting crisscrossed with their hands in their lap. They tilted their head slightly when he brought his up, which caused their hair to part, revealing a lone, red eye that soon reflected the glow of his screen.
“How’d you know it was me?” They asked. Their voice cracked slightly.
“Oh, I have my ways,” answered Tenna slyly. He pushed himself up with one hand so his back was propped up by the pillow. He used his other hand to hold Kris steady as he adjusted. “That apple scented shampoo of yours is kind of a dead giveaway.”
He bobbed his head, miming a wink. Kris’ head cocked to the other side at this. “You…you smelled to figure out who I was…? What?”
Tenna flinched. Oh. Fuck. Okay, it was fine, he could bounce back from this.
“You…you use an awful lot of that stuff, Kris! It’s rather pungent,” the word was sour-green like a granny smith’s shiny outer skin, “when you’re by my screen, yeah, I can smell it. Who else ‘round here in Castle Town uses apple scented shampoo?”
Another chuckle bubbled from his speakers. He watched Kris narrow their eyes, and felt his screen grow warm under the scrutiny.
Then their gaze shifted upwards. They looked at the top of his head. At his antennas specifically.
Despite the strain, he felt the feelers twitch as Kris stared.
“...you can use your antennas to smell,” they said quietly.
Tenna heard a bell ring, followed by a distant outcry of “BULL’S EYE” that caused his antennas to go limp and wilt over the sides of his boxy head. Kris leaned forward slightly. Their voice was still mumbly and low, but it had a sudden softness to it as they asked, “...are you…embarrassed about it? You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m not, like…upset. That’s just how your body works. You can’t help it.”
Oh, Kris.
His sweet, kind Kris.
He’d turned his screen off again without realizing. He could still see, though. He saw them frown worriedly as they scooted closer and leaned towards his display. Their hands came up to rest on the glass of his screen, which lit back up as he threw on his best, reassuring smile and tried very, very hard not to cry himself sick and stupid.
“Ha-HA! Me? Embarrassed? Pffffft, Kris, that’s crazy-talk.”
“So why did you lie about it, just now?”
“I didn’t-”
They stood up. Tenna had all of one second to process what was happening, before suddenly Kris was on top of his head, with a hand around each of his antennas. He tensed up and straightened further until he was completely sat upright in bed.
“Kris,” Tenna said, “hey, what are you-”
They squeezed his feelers, and Tenna went limp.
“Ah,” he heard them say, “so it is kinda like Ralsei’s horns. This feels nice, right? Helps you relax?”
He threw his head forward. Kris was knocked loose and fell forward with the sharp, sudden motion. They cried out, only to land in an open palm that caught them as they tumbled off of the TV’s head.
Kris landed on their back. They looked up at Tenna, confused and honestly vaguely annoyed, but he managed to ignore how much that made his circuits itch by brushing his antennas back as he laughed softly, and made a point to hold the grabby little human a good distance away from his screen.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Kris. Buddy,” Tenna said, “let’s cut to commercial, yeah? And uh. Do your ole Uncle Tenna a favor: please do not tell anyone about this please please please I love you please please please? Please?? Okay thank you.”
He swung his legs out of bed. Kris, still confused, glanced between his screen and the door as he carried them over to guide them out of his room.
“What?” They said, “you…what? What’s the big deal, though? It’s fine! I don’t…I don’t think it’s weird or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about! I…I think it’s cool!”
His chest spasmed. He had his hand on the doorknob.
“Kris,” Tenna said softly, looking at them with a kind, gentle smile on his screen, “I know YOU think it's cool. And I appreciate that. So, so much, really, I…”
His smile faltered. While his mouth wobbled and curled, he brought his hand up for a moment to scratch at the side of his screen.
“I…I just don't really…like to bug those bits of myself too much. Okay?”
The word “bug” buzzed around his head. He reached up and swatted it away. Kris flinched when he did this. They were frowning. Tenna turned the knob and carefully placed them out in the hallway.
“But…”
“Ha-haaaaaaa, nice seeing you Kris! Okay yeah goodbye love you bye.”
With that, he shut the door. He practically scurried back into bed. As soon as he was under the covers, Tenna curled up into a ball and felt the comforter grow into a crushing weight as he rapidly shrunk to the size of a mere speck.
Small. Like a bug. Like some weak, nasty little thing that was best put in a cup and tossed out into the cold, dreary rain.
Out in the hallway, a little human stared at the door. They tapped their foot as they mulled over what to do…well. Before they did anything: they needed some help.
—
“Yo, Tenna! Cool if we come in?”
He jerked his head up when Susie’s voice rang out from the hallway. He set aside the paper he was mulling over, and took an eager step towards the door. He swung it open, and was promptly met with two smiling faces and one that stared at him blankly from beneath a mod of fluffy blue hair.
“Susie! And Ralsei! AND Kris! Oh, it must be my birthday. Somebody pinch me.”
As per his request, Kris reached out and pinched at his leg. Tenna yelped in faux-surprise, and pretended to flinch away and leaned against the doorframe. “AGHG! Wounded…by my own nibling, no less…”
Ralsei covered his snout with a paw as he giggled. Susie laughed, and gave Kris a fond elbow nudge. Tenna swore the two exchanged a glance and a quick nod, but he must’ve imagined it. He smiled as he clasped his hands together near his chest.
“So! What brings you kiddos here today?”
“We wanna hang out with you, dude! Chill, watch TV, yeah?” Susie’s toothy smile rivaled even his own biggest, most showstopping grin. Tenna had to admire that about her.
“We also brought some tea,” said Ralsei, “if that’s alright?”
“Oh, it’s more than alright, Ralsei dear. Please, come in! I’m always down for some TV Time with my favorite kiddos.”
“Ain’t we, like, the only kids you know?”
“I stand by my mouth words!”
They all got things set out for a proper TV Time-style tea party. Ralsei summoned up the table and chairs, along with a set of cups and a matching teapot. For tea, of course, they’d need some hot water. Nothing a little TV magic couldn’t help with.
“Aaaaaaaaand voilà,” Tenna said, snapping his fingers. A tiny pink-green stove with swirly burners popped into existence next to him in a puff of smoke.
“Ah, thank you Tenna!”
“Only the best for my fluffiest star!”
Ralsei giggled when he ruffled at his head and his white fur fuzzed out from the static. While they waited for the water to boil, Susie and Kris got to work unloading the other goodies the kids had brought along with them. There was sugar, some stirring spoons, and also honey.
Tenna shifted when Kris pulled the jar out. His antennas twitched. He couldn’t really help but think back on yesterday, when Kris was all zeroed in on his more…insectoid qualities.
He had to hope that they’d let it go by now. Kris was bad enough, but he dreaded to imagine how Susie and Ralsei would react if they knew about any of that. He was the host-est with the most-est! He was Mr. Tenna. The ‘Ant’ was silent for a reason. If he started to drool over some honey, what would Susie say? “Gross,” most likely. And Tenna was not gross.
He was a gentleman.
He was an orderly and proper host. Not some little insignificant thing that scuttled and made people holler when it crawled up on their leg.
His worry only deepened when Kris pulled another jar of honey out of the bag. He’d looked over the tea that Ralsei had set out. Most of it was black, but there were some more floral or herbal blends in the assortment. Tenna supposed honey did go best with those…but c’mon: five jars?
Kris pulled out five jars of honey. That was excessive. That was a bit much, but HEY, who was he to judge? The only time he judged people was when he was cracking wise ones during a show.
So, he made extra, doubly, THRIPLY SURE not to react when Kris opened one of the jars. He did not flinch. He did not speak. He did not allow his antennas to twitch and lean towards the golden sweetness in the jar, and he did NOT lean his body in that direction, either. He remained still as a statue. He was stone. He was a marble slab. He was a fossilized remnant of a bygone age that had been unearthed by a pair of aliens, or something, who dug him out of the baked crust and said, “okay well that is a big heavy box but what did they do with this, you reckon?”
He. Was. Fine.
Only the faintest hiss of static snuck through his speakers. Kris stirred the honey, and it was fine.
“Hang on,” Susie said sternly.
Kris paused to look at her. They had the spoon raised over the jar by a few inches. Sickly, silvery, golden ambrosia dripped down in a thick, sinful cascade, and Tenna was so normal and fine about it.
Susie dipped a claw into the honey. She twirled it for a second to get a generous portion, when she promptly proceeded to shove into her mouth.
“Gotta taste test this shit. Make sure it ain't poisoned, or whatever,” as she pulled her finger back out, Susie's yellow eyes flickered up towards Tenna.
Tenna, who was still normal and fine and very calm, felt his chassis rattle beneath his suit. Susie glanced at Kris, before she looked back up at him and asked, “hey, Tenna? You want some honey?”
“Nope,” Tenna said calmly. Nevermind the big red word that was vibrating at near-sonic speed. “I am fine. Thank you.”
The kids exchanged another glance. Kris took the jar between their hands. The moment he saw them move away from the table, he had a plan.
“Tenna,” Kris said, “hey, can you please talk to us for a moment, so maybe we can-”
They took one step towards him, and just like that, the Lord of Screens was off. Tenna bounced over the table and sprinted for the door. You know: in a normal, fine, calm and orderly fashion!
His hand tightened around the knob. Ralsei said something behind him. Susie hollered his name, but he ignored her. He had to leave. Now. He had to get away before he did something stupid and made an even bigger fool of himself than he had already.
Why was the knob not turning? Was it broken?
Tenna looked up, and realized with a twisted dread that a bunch of red, flashing X's had appeared over the door. He stepped back and looked over his shoulder to see Kris, open jar in one hand, and a small playing card raised in the other.
That card. What-
Susie looked at the card and snorted softly. “Y'know, Roulxs is kind of weird, but damn, this card of his is pretty freaking cool.”
Tenna pressed his shoulder into the door. He leaned his full weight against it, but it didn't budge.
“‘Until the Lord of Screens is honest about the bug stuff, he may not vacate his chamber….eth’.” Kris dropped their half-hearted impression of the Duke's voice midway through the sentence. They tucked the card into their pocket, yet the red marks that blocked Tenna’s escape stayed put.
The TV had his back fully against the door. With every step Kris took towards him, his height started to wither.
In a softer voice, Kris said, “Tenna. We're not mad at you.”
But you will be.
Ralsei smiled patiently. “We merely want to understand why you seem so…troubled.”
“Yeah,” agreed Susie, as she placed a claw on the prince's shoulder. “You ain't gonna ‘bug’ us by being honest, heh.”
“Oh! Hehe, that was a very good uh…a very punny joke, Susie.”
“Y'all sound like my mom,” Kris said bluntly. They both snickered, but quickly fell silent as Kris stopped in front of Tenna.
He was barely a few feet taller than them at this point. Kris placed the jar on the floor next to them. They lifted their arms, and then beckoned him to come closer.
When he didn't, their eyes, shiny and red, stared into his screen sadly.
“Please?” They whispered. Soft and faint enough so only he'd hear it. “Please, Tenna? It…it'll make me happy if you just…tell me what's wrong…so I can help, maybe?”
Something deep and low and primal perked inside Tenna’s chest. Kris would be…happy?
But will you? Will you really…?
He let his head fall forward. His hands peeled away from where they'd been pressed palms-flat against the door. Slowly, and still trembling with every step, Tenna started to inch towards the little human.
When they cracked a smile, he felt himself begin to grow.
Will you really be happy…?
Tenna lowered himself onto his knees before them. Now at about half of his usual height, he still towered and dwarfed Kris entirely. They stood completely at ease in his shadow. When they beckoned him this time, he brought his head low, until his screen hovered directly in front of their face.
Kris's smile widened. They grinned, and pressed their palms against the warm glass of the cathode’s display.
“Hey,” they said, “you…you alright…?”
His antennas drooped low. They sagged and bounced slightly above Kris's head. He frowned when their eyes flickered upwards, because he knew what they were thinking.
Gross! What a pathetic little creature! Freak! Ugly little pest!
They really did smell like apples. Apples, and the cinnamon candles that Tori liked to light in the living room in the evenings. There was also a hint of grass, like a freshly mowed lawn. They must’ve had outdoor gym class or helped with some yardwork earlier.
“No,” Tenna admitted with a staticky crackle, “I'm not.”
“What's wrong?” Kris tilted their head.
“Kris,” Tenna said, “starshine. Hon…I'm trying real hard here not to…make you or your friends uncomfortable…” a weak chuckle trembled in his chest, “I'm tryna…hold it together, yeah? Be a good and proper host for you. A gentleman! And not a…a…”
“...a what?”
He sniffled. Oh, his sweet Kris. They just wanted to help. They were such a good, kind kid. His chest was full of broken glass that jabbed and pierced with every breath he took.
“A…pest,” he hissed quietly.
“Pest?” Kris repeated, “...but you…you're a bug, ain't ya? Like a really big ant?”
Tenna winced as he nodded.
“Wah…but that's cool, though.”
His antennas twitched. “Not really. It's, eheh, not a big hit with the sponsors.”
Kris cocked their head to the other side. “Well, whose opinion do you care about more: the sponsors, or mine?”
Tenna didn't even have to think about it. The answer was automatic. “Yours.”
Kris pulled back. Tenna watched them pick up the jar. The cloying sweetness of the honey seeped into his antennas and turned his mind into sticky golden goop. When Kris brought it near his screen, Tenna shuddered as a faint twitching sensation poked in either corner of his mouth.
Noticing, Kris looked at his mandibles. They adjusted the jar so they could reach up, and managed to grab one of his antennas directly below the metallic bulb.
“I think your bug stuff is really cool,” Kris said firmly, “and I am sure that Susie and Ralsei do, too. Guys?” As if to prove their point, they started to gently stroke at his antenna while their friends came over to join them. Through the tingly, pleasant mush that washed over his thoughts, Tenna dimly found himself wondering if Ralsei had remembered to take the kettle off of the stove.
“HELL yeah? Tenna, dude, I didn't know you have pinchers!” Susie was now behind Kris. Her toothy smile beamed over their plated shoulder.
Ralsei clasped his paws together as he said brightly, “I think it's very charming, Tenna! Your mandibles are very impressive.”
“Makes you look super cool,” Susie added, “like some sorta fucking…kickass bug mutant!” She chuckled when Tenna whimpered, his mandibles clicking as he ducked his head away.
Kris tapped on his screen, and he soon lifted his gaze back towards them. “Here,” they said, “ants like sweet stuff, yeah? We brought extra for you.”
They traced their fingers along the sensitive wire of his antenna. Tenna was about to (cry scream whimper weep wail) say something, but a sudden shift in his body made the words die in his throat.
With a thud, his other arms emerged. and landed limply beside him.
He froze.
He looked at the kids.
The kids all leaned to look at his arms.
They looked back at his screen. Kris had their mouth open, but it was Susie who spoke first, her jaw wide agape as she beamed. “WHAT THE FUCK THAT’S SO FUCKING COOL HOLY SHIT?!”
While she ran around and grabbed one of his newly emerged talons, Kris chuckled. Tenna allowed a little laugh to escape from his speakers. He curled his fingers around Susie, who started to playfully struggle in his hold. His laughter fell off when Kris placed the jar on the floor in front of him. He looked at it, and felt the weight of Kris and Ralsei’s gazes.
Kris sensed his hesitation. “...what?”
“It’s uhm. See, I use my…my…” Tenna raised a trembling claw to point at his nose.
Kris slowly blinked their eyes as they processed this. “Your nose is…a proboscis?”
“Huh,” said Ralsei, tapping his chin, “I suppose that would…make sense? It would be rather hard to eat or drink with a mouth that’s behind a pane of glass.”
Kris nodded in agreement. Like it was just…a neat little detail. A fun, wacky fact. And not some awful, grotesque, shameful quirk to be tucked away and kept out of sight during a shoot…and the cameras were always always always rolling, back in TV World…
Kris bent down, hands on their knees. Their voice dropped once more to a soft, kind whisper. “It’s okay. I won’t judge you. I think it’s really cool. It-”
They paused.
“...it…it makes me happy, when you let yourself…I’m happy when you don’t force yourself to hide parts of yourself like this. Okay?”
To enunciate their point, they nudged the jar closer with their boot. Tenna gazed into the honey with a desire known strictly to monks who denied themselves the barest of pleasure in the name of holiness or what the fuck ever, oh, oh god, oh god, it was so good, fuck. He didn’t even realize he’d started to sip until the sweetness flooded his system. He, vaguely, registered Susie yelp when he went fully limp and he released his grip on her, causing her to roll and fall to the floor, but frankly, he was ‘off-air’ at the moment.
He was still aware enough of his surroundings to feel Kris’s hands brush his antennas.
…it felt good…
…no skin off this cathode’s carapace.
—
It wasn’t long before tea time was over, and it was time to get cozy. Tenna got about halfway through the fourth jar of honey before he fell into what Kris was affectionately going to call a Honey Coma. They and Susie had to work together to drag the poor cathode into the pile of pillows and blankets Ralsei had dutifully set up on the floor.
As soon as he was there, Tenna made quick work of getting comfortable. He pulled the blanket they’d tugged off of his bed over himself, and once that was done, he proceeded to gather them all up to join him underneath it.
Susie complained and tried to get out for all of about five seconds. Once she was all warm and snug against Tenna’s chest, her eyes started to go all droopy. Kris counted, eh, like, ten seconds, before she was out?
Ralsei was asleep the moment Tenna scooped him off the floor.
Tenna held them both against his chest with his lower pair of arms. With his upper pair, he cupped Kris between his palms, and brought them up near his screen. In the cozy, sheltered darkness under the blanket, the glow of his display had a hazy, sleepy feel to it. The ambient drone of his static filled Kris’s ears. When they laid down on one of the cushions, Tenna’s mandibles chittered softly.
“Happy?” Kris asked.
Tenna answered by brushing at their hair with a lone claw. Kris giggled and leaned into the static-tinged touch. Their skin prickled as the warm fuzz settled in.
The TV’s screen inched closer. Kris stretched their fingers out to feel where the static was strongest near the glass. When they did, Tenna hummed, and his display flickered to white noise. Somehow, even with his mouth no longer visible, they could still hear the soft clicks and chitters of his mandibles.
“Ha…ppy…?” Tenna’s voice cracked and creaked with the effort it took to form the words.
Kris nodded and nuzzled into the cushion. “Yeah. I’m happy.”
They felt something poke at their head. They looked up, and watched as his antennas inched close and started to sway over them.
“I am happy,” Kris whispered firmly, “because we all had some tea, and because you’re lettin’ yourself be comfortable with everything that makes you…”
Because when they were small, oh, they loved bugs. They still did! But when they were little, bugs were their thing. Things that skittered, things that scuttled, things you found under rocks, under logs, or beneath a damp stepstone after the rain…
“...you. Because I care about you. So, if you let yourself be you, then yes: I am happy.”
They had a soft spot for bugs. When a bug showed up inside the house, people freaked out and tried to squash it. Asriel tried to do that, and every single time, Kris would cry and cry, and beg him to just get a paper towel and toss it outside. And they weren’t ashamed of it! What, it was a beetle! Why kill the poor thing for the crime of being small and in a place it wasn’t supposed to be?
Bugs didn’t mean to be scary. They were small, and they deserved care, just like any other small, odd critter.
And…well…Kris wouldn’t act like they understood the ins and outs of the Dark World…but they understood that Tenna was a big, odd critter that came from their imagination. So, if they could make him happy this way…then why not?
No skin off their back.