Chapter Text
Thursday April 12 th , 10:17 AM
It was too nice of a day to be cooped up in the office. Today was the first day in a week that the sun was out. The past week had been filled with rain and cloudy skies. The bad weather dampened everybody’s spirits in the building. Working at an advertisement agency may sound fun on paper but in reality it’s hell.
Sawamura Daichi slammed his fist on his desk, staring at the swirls of color on his screen. He earned surprised glances from his coworkers but they returned to their work without a word. He was in charge of the graphic design department, working on advertisements for websites and billboards. It was extremely stressful being the superior but the fat paycheck he received twice a month was well worth it.
Daichi was beyond stressed, to say the least. It wasn’t just because the ad he was working on wasn’t coming out how he had envisioned in his mind, but it was also because his boyfriend hadn’t texted him. Normally he would text him when he got to his job in the morning. He worked as a first grade teacher in an elementary school. It was hard to text while class was in session, but Daichi would receive scattered texts throughout the day, animatedly telling him something that had happened in the classroom. It was usually topped off with lots of exclamation points and emojis.
Daichi hadn’t received anything yet. He was starting to worry and kept looking at the time. The digital clock in the corner of his desktop read 10:19. He knew that classes started around eight o’clock and Suga, his boyfriend of eight years, would have arrived around seven-thirty. But there was nothing. No assurance that he had arrived safe and sound, leaving Daichi confused and anxious.
“You look like you could use this, Daichi-san,” one of his coworkers, Akaashi Keiji, placed a cup of coffee on his desk. Akaashi was a quiet man but his work said what he didn’t. It was loud and always perfect, Daichi having very few suggestions when looking it over. Sometimes he submitted it to the company immediately after looking it over because it looked great the way it was.
Daichi sighed and lifted the coffee mug from his desk, taking a sip, “Thank you Akaashi. You know, I told you when you started working here that you didn’t have to use “-san” with me.”
The curly haired man just shrugged. Daichi exhaled once more. He knew he would never change.
“Are you alright?” Akaashi asked him after taking his seat at his own desk. Daichi always hated the set up of the room. He had four employees directly under him to boss around as he pleased and their desks were all set up as if they were in the editing business. The four employees’ desks were pressed against each other, with Daichi’s at the head. A TV was set up on the wall where they could all easily see it, making it easy to critique their work.
“I just,” Daichi glanced down at his phone. 10:23. “Suga hasn’t texted me yet today and I’m just worried is all.”
“Hey,” a gentle voice came from his right. He turned to look at Azumane Asahi, another one of his employees, although Daichi disliked calling him that. The two had been good friends since high school, and Asahi was the reason that he and Suga were together in the first place. Daichi owed the gentle giant his life for introducing him to his main source of happiness. “He probably just forgot his phone in his car or something.”
Daichi blinked as Asahi offered a kind smile before looking back at his own screen. “Yeah, you’re right…” He muttered under his breath and deleted what he had been working on. He rubbed a hand over his face and opened a new Photoshop page. He had been doing this for the last hour.
Twenty minutes past. At 10:45 on the dot, Daichi’s office cell phone started to ring. His eyes jumped to the screen and he immediately felt his heart jump into his throat. Mrs. Sugawara flashed onto the screen. He grabbed the phone and pressed it to his ear, “Hello?”
“Daichi,” she said immediately. Her voice was gentle but he could hear her breaking. This was definitely not good. “Daichi, Koushi’s been in an accident.”
Daichi felt himself stand from his desk, almost knocking his chair over. He was staring at the doors of the office as he frantically tugged on his jacket, “Is he okay?”
Asahi’s eyes opened wide and he looked at his friend.
Mrs. Sugawara broke down, “He’s in the emergency room. The doctors won’t tell us anything and I’m so worried . This isn’t even his fault! The other drive wasn’t even looking…”
A car accident . Daichi closed his eyes. Suga had always insisted on driving a car since he didn’t like taking the train. Daichi didn’t mind but now… Now the car had hurt him and he was pretty sure that his boyfriend would never get into a car again. “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a half hour.” He hung up the phone and shut his computer off, not even bothering to save his work. It was shit anyway.
He swiped his train pass off his desk and rushed to the door and then paused, looking at his employees who were all staring at him in surprise. Daichi never walked out of the office, no matter how important the situation. “Asahi’s in charge.” He said and then he was bolting out the door.
Daichi hadn’t run this fast in years, maybe his whole life. The walk from the station to his office building was at least ten minutes and running he made it there in five. Of course, that didn’t really matter since the train was on a schedule. He was the first one on the train when it came at 11:01 however and he stood the whole time because he was too anxious to sit down.
As he ran to the hospital, he could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket. No doubt it was Asahi, wondering why he had raced out of the office without an explanation. Daichi ignored it. He would explain later to his coworkers and his superiors. This was a family emergency.
Daichi stopped in the doorway of the hospital, panting heavily. The nurses stopped and asking him if he was okay. He certainly didn’t look okay. He was sweating profusely and breathing heavily. He managed to puff out that he was looking for Sugawara Koushi and they explained that he was currently in the ICU. He followed the signs before the nurses could direct him.
He saw Suga’s parents sitting in the hallway. His father was clutching at his mother, who was in tears. Daichi almost stopped, his knees feeling weak. Was Suga dead? No, he couldn’t handle that right now. He slowly approached them and they gazed at him as he grew closer.
Suga definitely got his looks from his mother. She had gray hair that was styled in a bob, and her big brown eyes were the same as her son’s. She was beautiful in every aspect and her presence made Daichi feel at ease. Suga’s father wasn’t a big man but he was still intimidating. He had choppy blonde hair and brown eyes as well. His brown eyes were sad and exhausted and they made Daichi uneasy all over again.
“Oh Daichi,” Mrs. Sugawara scrambled up from her seat and pulled her son’s boyfriend into a tight hug. Daichi returned the embrace. He was closer to Suga’s family than his own. His parents accepted that he was gay as long as he wasn’t gay in front of them. To sum things up, he didn’t see them very much.
“Is he okay?” Daichi repeated the question he had asked on the phone. His voice was rough with concern. Mrs. Sugawara just hugged him tighter. Oh no. He couldn’t lose Suga. Suga was his world. It would be strange not waking up to his smile or not hearing his laugh. He looked forward to that each day.
“He’s alive,” Mr. Sugawara answered for his wife. Daichi breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god . “The doctors still won’t let us see him even though they stabilized him a few minutes ago. We don’t know what’s going on with him.”
“I’m so scared,” Mrs. Sugawara sniffed and unwrapped herself from Daichi.
Daichi ran his fingers through his brown hair, “I’m just glad he’s alive. I don’t know what I would do if…” His words trailed off and he clenched his fist. He couldn’t think about that. Suga was fine. He was alive. He was breathing. He wasn’t going anywhere.
“We know.” Mr. Sugawara clapped him on the back and they sat down again, exchanging small talk to keep their worrying minds at bay.
It was about a half hour before a doctor finally approached them. The three sprung to their feet and looked expectantly at the doctor who blinked at their eagerness. He cleared his through, “You all are Sugawara-san’s family right?”
“Yes, is he alright?” Suga’s mother pressed.
The doctor looked at the papers on his clipboard, “Your son seems to be very lucky. The airbags saved his life. He’s definitely not in the best shape. Sprained neck, a few broken ribs, a fractured ankle and multiple bruises. He’s been placed in a medically induced coma so that his brain doesn’t swell. He was unconscious when we brought him in but that’s to be expected.”
Daichi processed all this information. Suga was injured – he was broken. In more than one place. He didn’t know if he could handle seeing Suga all banged up as he had been described.
“When will he wake up then?” Mr. Sugawara asked, hand tightening on his wife’s shoulder.
The doctor hummed, “It really depends. We’re going to be monitoring him twenty-four seven so it’s to be determined.”
“He will wake up though, right?” Daichi inquired slowly.
The doctor looked at him and raised an eyebrow, “Yes, he will wake up in due time. Would you guys like to see him?”
The trio nodded eagerly and the doctor led them into the room. Suga’s parents immediately fled to their son’s side, but Daichi was rooted to his spot in the doorway, seemingly forgetting how to breathe.
Suga looked awful. His neck was in a brace and he was hooked up to an oxygen tank. He had bruises all over his arms and he had a bruised on his cheek. His leg was propped up and his ankle was wrapped in a cast. He was broken. He was completely and utterly shattered by some idiot on the road. Daichi would kill them. He would find this son of a bitch and kill them for doing this to his Suga.
Daichi slowly crept forward, eyes brimming with unshed tears. He sat next to Mrs. Sugawara and trailed his fingers oh so lightly over Suga’s wrist. The man didn’t move. He was still, looking as if he were dead. If the doctor hadn’t assured that he was alive he would’ve believed that Suga was gone. The only indication that he was alive was the cloudiness inside the oxygen mask.
“Do the police have any information on the man who crashed into him?” Daichi asked, looking at the doctor.
The doctor cleared his throat once again, “Ah, yes. The police report stated that the man was going full speed and had blown through a red light. He is also in this unit but we’ve placed him down the hall.”
Daichi’s jaw tensed and he felt Mrs. Sugawara’s hand wrap around his wrist, a sign telling him to calm the hell down. He couldn’t just burst into a hospital room and start swinging, especially when the guy was already hurt. Daichi had some decency. Well… He just didn’t want to be arrested.
They stayed with Suga until visiting hours were over. Mrs. Sugawara urged Daichi to go home and get some rest but Daichi didn’t know if he was going to be able to. He didn’t know if he would be able to lie in his bed without Suga beside him. He didn’t want to wake up in the morning and not see Suga getting dressed, turning to smile and say good morning. He would miss those pearly whites lighting up the whole room.
He dragged himself to the train station and finally pulled his phone out of his pocket. 9:16 PM. It was early in the night but he was exhausted. He had six missed calls from Asahi, all accompanied by voicemails. He had a missed call from Akaashi, most likely Asahi’s doing. He had three missed calls from his boss Ukai Keishin and decided that he would deal with that one later.
Daichi called Asahi and lifted his phone to his ear.
Asahi picked up the phone on the first ring, “Daichi oh my god is everything okay?! You just ran out of there and put me in charge and I didn’t know what to do. Ukai is pissed . He came in to the office a little after you left and we told him that you left without telling us why. I’m really sorry but you wouldn’t answer our calls and we-“
“Asahi, slow down,” Daichi said. He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled slowly. He was way too tired for Asahi’s anxious rambling. “I’m sorry for running out. I’ll deal with Ukai later. Was everything okay while I was gone?”
Asahi let out an exasperated noise, “What – everything was fine but are you okay?!What the hell is going on?” He was raising his voice now, something that rarely happened.
“I’m… I’m sorry I scared you,” Daichi offered, “but Suga’s in the hospital. He got hit by a car and he’s just so… broken.”
There was silence on the other end. Daichi could practically hear the wheels in Asahi’s mind rolling. Daichi heard muffled talking and figured that he was talking to his partner, Nishinoya Yuu.
And then, there was a much louder voice on the other end. Daichi had to pull his ear away from the receiver, “SUGA’S IN THE HOSPITAL?!” Nishinoya’s voice exploded through the phone, “What happened?! Is he okay?! I bet he has some gnarly bruises. Can we come see him?!”
“He’s in a coma,” Daichi flat lined.
“Oh.” Nishinoya’s curt response was uncharacteristic of him. He inhaled, “Is he gonna wake up?”
“The doctor said he would,” Daichi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He was beyond stressed and Nishinoya wasn’t helping.
Asahi’s voice returned, “Listen, if you need to take off work then do it. This is more important. I’ll take over some of your projects and I’m sure Tsukishima will be willing to help.”
Daichi scoffed and muttered, “Like he’s ever willing to help out…”
Asahi chuckled, “Seriously though. I’ll talk to Ukai for you.”
“Thank you,” Daichi said quietly. He heard Nishinoya try to wrestle the phone from Asahi soon after. Daichi didn’t have the patience for that at the moment and hung up, stepping onto the train as it arrived.
Friday April 13 th , 2:28 AM
Daichi lay awake in the dark room, starring at the ceiling. The bed was cold. There was a person missing. He rolled onto his side and ran his hand over the empty space Suga usually filled. He missed him. It had been less than twenty-four hours since he heard that mellifluous voice and he was going crazy. How much longer would this go on?
Thursday April 19 th , 11:57 AM
The past week had been hard on Daichi. He had barely slept and he spent the three days after Suga’s accident at his bed side. Suga never moved except for a brief flutter of eyelids. His bruises were fading quickly, his face molding back in to its perfect shape. Daichi wanted to stay by his side until he woke up but Mr. Sugawara reminded him that work was a thing and he needed to do it.
Daichi went in the next Monday. Nobody said anything to him but Asahi kept shooting him nervous glances. Daichi didn’t speak unless it was to critique somebody’s ad, which he had been doing halfheartedly. Ukai came in and gave him a hell of lecture. He finally stepped up that Thursday.
He stared hard at his screen, eyeing the time. 11:57. Lunch wasn’t until one. He wasn’t hungry though. He had barely slept or eaten since the accident. The only thing he fueled himself with was coffee, which Akaashi placed on his desk throughout the day. He would thank him emotionlessly and return to blankly staring at the monitor. He watched the time go by and once six rolled around he would push himself from his chair and leave the office without a word.
Daichi blinked as his phone began to ring. The caller ID read Mrs. Sugawara . A cold feeling shot up his spine and he grabbed the phone, hurriedly answering, “Hello?”
“Daichi,” she greeted him just like last time, “Koushi’s awake.”
Daichi shot out of his chair so fast he knocked it over again. Asahi made a surprised noise in the back of his throat. Daichi’s sharp voice echoed through the room, “I’m coming.”
“Wait Daichi he-“
Whatever Mrs. Sugawara had said had been drowned out by Daichi’s own thoughts and him shoving himself into his jacket again. He closed his phone and shoved it in his pocket. “Asahi.” He said, voice thick, thinking the bearded man would understand. He snatched his train pass from his desk and darted out of the room very much like he had done the first time he had gotten a call like this, practically sprinting out from building.
Suga’s name spun through his mind. It was his one and only thought as he ran all the way to the station. There was a 12:02 train and he was determined to catch it. His lungs burned as he jumped into the train as the doors were gradually shutting. He grabbed onto the pole and hugged it for dear life, trying to catch his breath. He was too old to be running like that.
The train ride was entirely too slow. Daichi kept checking the time on his phone. 12:04 . 12:07. 12:08. 12:11. 12:14. 12:18. This repeated until he stepped off the train at 12:37. He pushed his way through the crowd and charged down the street. Daichi almost ran straight into an elderly woman holding a bag filled with oranges but managed to side step her just in time, repeating “sorry!” over his shoulder.
Daichi arrived at the hospital just as he had a week prior, sweaty and panting. The nurses gave him an annoyed looked but ignored him as he rushed to Suga’s room, glancing at the clock as he did. 12:51. He’s awake he’s AWAKE! Daichi joyously shouted throughout his head.
He opened the door and stepped inside, only to be met by a firm hand on his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Mr. Sugawara, who was looking at him sympathetically. And then he let his eyes drift to Suga.
Beautiful Sugawara Koushi was sitting propped up against his pillow. His eyes were half shut but he was up and conscious. Daichi almost collapsed when those chocolate eyes rested on him. They were eyes that he loved so much, always soft and kind. But he was not prepared for what they held when they landed on his face.
Suga’s eyes as they looked at Daichi held no recollection whatsoever. They were blank. There was no warmth. No familiarity. No love . Only confusion and slight caution.
Daichi’s knees buckled but Mr. Sugawara steadied him and led him back into the hallway. He shut the door quietly behind him before sitting Daichi in a chair.
Daichi looked at him bewildered. “I don’t… Does he not… I don’t get it…” Daichi tripped over his words and searched for the answers in his boyfriend’s father’s face.
Mr. Sugawara’s mouth twitched and he didn’t meet Daichi’s eyes, “Koushi has… he has amnesia, Daichi. The doctor described it specifically as traumatic amnesia. We mentioned your name to him soon afterward and he had no idea who we were talking about.” He squeezed Daichi’s shoulder.
Daichi stared at him, mouth agape. Suga… didn’t remember him? Those eyes, those gorgeous eyes that Daichi loved had stared at him like he was nothing. Suga didn’t know who he was. “How? How does… I’ve known him for nine years… We’ve been together for eight how does he not know who I am?” Daichi could hear his voice unintentionally rising. But he was frustrated and confused.
Mr. Sugawara never let go of his shoulder, “The doctor explained that it’s common that somebody with traumatic amnesia will forget those they’re familiar with. Unfortunately one of those people happens to be you.”
Daichi was hyperventilating. Suga didn’t remember him. Would he ever remember him? Was their relationship nothing now? Would he even accept him a second time? “I don’t…”
Mr. Sugawara sighed, “I know this must be tough.”
Daichi blinked at him, suddenly recalling that Mrs. Sugawara had been saying something when he rudely hung up on her, “I’m… I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I was just… Please tell your wife I’m sorry for interrupting her. It was rude of me and this… this could’ve waited.” He stood up from the bench.
Suga’s father stood up, “It’s okay. We know how much you love him. Any of us would’ve done the same thing you did. We decided that when Koushi gets released that… we’re going to bring him back home with us. It’ll be the most familiar for him and it’ll be less emotionally draining for you.”
Daichi nodded numbly in agreement before shoving his hands in his pockets and turning away. He didn’t say anything in response or say goodbye. Suga wasn’t going to come home with him. He would have to lay in that empty bed alone forever probably. When would Suga remember him?
He trudged through the front door of the hospital and out onto the street. The sky was filled with dark clouds now. It would probably rain soon.
Daichi was halfway to the station when he pulled out his phone. 1:09. He dialed Asahi’s number and listened to it ring.
“Daichi! Is everything okay? Oh my god you just-“
Daichi stopped and stood there blocking the path. The sky crackled and little drops of rain started falling from the sky. It started slow and then began to crescendo. Daichi didn’t care. He hung his head and gripped the phone tight in his hand. He cut Asahi off midsentence, “He doesn’t know who I am.” His voice was nothing but a whisper.
And then, in the middle of the sidewalk, Sawamura Daichi began to sob.