Chapter Text
One foot in front of the other. Ochako trudged along the dimly lit streets. she often wandered off these days. Ever since the war, ever since she lost her, Ochako had felt directionless. What kind of a hero has no purpose?
Maybe if she kept walking, she would find herself again and return to that once happy girl without a care in the world. Maybe then she could look Izuku in the eyes. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so useless anytime she opened her mouth. But until then, it was the same. One foot in front of the other.
Her feet had taken her all the way to the outskirts of town where the streetlights became few and far between. Shadows used to creep her out, there was so much uncertainty and fear hidden in the darkness. She once feared it would swallow her whole. Such a silly idea, she thought to herself.
Ochako didn’t find comfort in the shadows, no. She simply co-existed with them. Walking side by side until she couldn’t tell where she stopped and the darkness started.
Then, a familiar feeling came over her.
A pair of eyes.
Tracking her.
Stalking her.
No movement going unseen, no action ignored. It was almost comforting to know if anything happened to her someone would know. Maybe even care.
Instead of pausing, allowing her exhausted legs to take the break they so desperately needed, she pushed on. The irises carving holes in the back of her head didn’t bother her, nor did they scare her. Because she knew who this was, and she didn’t scare Ochako one bit.
Her body ached and groaned in protest of the long walk as she heard the bittersweet sound of laughter. Ochako knew that laugh, she knew the smile that came with it.
“Ochako-chan!”
A set of arms wrapped around her from behind, nearly sending her to her knees. The brunette stumbled forwards with a small grunt
“Stop that.”
It felt wrong to say, she had never been this callous, this… bitter before the war. Especially not to those she cared abo-…
Those she loved.
And she certainly loved Toga.
Toga pouted playfully, her arms still wrapped around Ochako.
“Awh-? Why so gloomy Ochako-chan? Are you not happy to see me…?”
Ochakos hands moved without thinking in an almost subconscious action as she pushed ‘Toga’ away. Her tired legs finally resting for a moment when she whipped her head around at the imposter.
“Just stop it-! you’re not real… you’re not her.”
The brunette felt bile rise in her throat at the sight of the imposter, how dare they steal togas skin? Such a cruel thing to do, giving her hope.
“Awh! C’mon! Is that how you greet an old friend?”
“We were more than that. You would know that if you were her.”
The blonde scoffed, her demeanour moulding into something more sinister, finally meeting ochakos glare with one of her own.
“You’re being really mean, Ochako-chan. I only wanted to talk to you!”
The disappointment in the blondes' eyes caused a pang of guilt to fester in Ochakos chest. This wasn’t Toga, just another hallucination… but she looked like Toga; she had her golden eyes and roughly chopped hair, she had Toga's voice and touch. She nearly had Toga's smile.
The cutest smile in the whole world.
She only lacked a soul.
“I’m sorry… i didn’t mean to upset you.”
The mere sight of her looking so defeated was enough to soften Ochakos cold heart, even if it wasn’t real.
“Hmph. It’s okay Ochako-chan. But you owe me blood.”
A cruel and twisted smile pulled at the blonde's lips. It was one of the few clear differences between the real Toga and this fake, apart from the fact the real Toga was dead. When Toga was alive her smile was so pure, full of love. This smile was empty and forced, devoid of all emotion.
Ochako didn’t have a problem supplying her with blood, it wasn’t real anyway. In an hour she would come to her senses and find her arms weren’t littered with wounds from fangs and her blood was still rushing though her veins.
It was always the same; ‘Toga’ would appear and convince Ochako to give her blood, she would agree and the blonde would drink every last drop until she passed out. After some time, Ochako would wake in the same spot she fell unconscious in only to find she was perfectly fine. Left with only the memory of the interaction and not a trace of evidence.
“Yeah. I suppose I do.”
Within seconds the brunette found herself sat on the windowsill of a bustling restaurant, the light from inside illuminated her face. ‘Toga’ began pushing Ochakos sleeve up, her arm jerked away.
“Wait-! Isn’t this a bit… I dunno, public?”
The blonde tilted her head; an innocent looks in her eyes.
“Why? Are you embarrassed of me?”
“What? No! I’m just… scared of getting you in trouble.”
She quickly corrected herself. Why she cared about the feelings of this fake Toga was beyond her. But she did.
She took ‘Toga's’ hand in hers, guiding her to a more secluded part of the street.
“Awh! You’re so thoughtful Ochako-chan!” Her eyes sparkled with mischief “let’s go to the rooftop!”
Before she could protest her grip on ‘Toga’s’ hand switched and she was being dragged up a stairwell. The blonde hummed happily, skipping up the steps two at a time as Ochako struggled to keep up. She would complain, say that her legs were already exhausted from the walk, but the words got caught in her throat. She was almost admiring Toga’s playful attitude lasting even through death.
What?
No.
This wasn’t Toga.
Stop being stupid.
“Ta-da! We’re here Ochako-chan!”
She grinned, and for a second, it felt real.
“Jeez… just let me catch my breath!”
She practically collapsed to the floor, rubbing her sore calves and groaning softly.
“No can do! C’monn! I can’t wait any longer!”
The blonde whined and fell to her knees dramatically, scrambling over to Ochako and thrusting her sleeve up with force.
She was met with the sight of cuts lining the brunette's skin, too organised to be accidental. Too deep to be for attention.
Ochako cringed, feeling the cold night breeze on her semi-fresh wounds. This was mortifying. She was hoping the other, pristine arm would be the one to be uncovered.
‘Togas’ expression darkened as she bit her lip, annoyance rising in her chest.
“Stop doing this. Such a waste of perfectly good blood.”
‘Togas’ fingers danced lightly across the wounded skin, sending tingles up Ochakos arm. She shivered softly.
“Yeah, I guess it is.” She spoke softly “but you weren’t there to draw blood for me…”
Losing blood reminded her of Toga. in a way, she found it oddly therapeutic to watch it seep from the wound.
The brunette frowned as the other tilted her head in confusion. She remembered all those times Toga had drunk her blood in combat, as a weapon. She wished her blood could’ve been used by Toga as something gentle… something meant to heal, not hurt.
“It reminded me of you-… of Toga.”
The blonde pouted, genuine sadness filling her expression.
“I am toga…” She quickly schooled her expression back into a cheerful smile. “And I’m here now!”
Her fangs dug into Ochakos flesh. She let out a small yelp of pain before relaxing ever so slightly, her entire body thrumming with a bittersweet ache.
“… You could’ve given me some warning…”
She muttered, slowly adjusting to the feeling of her blood being drained once more. The brunette had always had a soft spot for this feeing, the sight mere of blood draining from her arm was almost cathartic.
A trail of deep red dripped down her arm, but the blonde took extra care to ensure none of it went to waste.
"Your blood is so good Ochako-chan~" The viscous liquid dripped down her chin. "It tastes like cherries~"
That wasn't true. The real toga had always said her blood tasted like watermelon...
Or was it strawberries...?
She can't remember.
Why can't she remember?
A sharp pain tugged at her flesh as the blonde removed her fangs only to sink them back in right over her vein, causing crimson blood to spill over the pavement.
The brunette inhaled sharply, the loss of blood making her arm ache. She didn't complain, knowing it would all be over soon.
Why was she doing this? Allowing this phoney to drink her blood. And for what? Because she looked like Toga? Pathetic. She was a pathetic, broken person.
"...hey, if you're not Toga... who are you?"
The blonde's expression darkened, she pulled away from Ochakos arm. This wasn't anger, no, it was something far more menacing. To describe it as anger would be a gross understatement.
"I am Toga." Her cruel expression twisted into a haunting grin."You're so silly, Ochako-chan!"
Yeah. She felt silly.
She felt fucking insane.
"But... Toga died..."
"But I'm still here, Ochako. Why would i be dead?"
"I watched her die; she gave me all her bloo-"
"Stop making up lies. You're upsetting me, Ochako-chan."
A thick and tense quiet fell over the two, broken only by the sound of cars speeding past on the road below.
The silence was oppressive, blood still spilling from ochakos arm and forming a scarlet pool beneath her. Blood mingling with dirt and loose rocks from the pavement.
The blonde gripped ochakos arm once more and started drinking from the source.
"...I just miss her... she meant a lot to me."
'Toga' lifted her head once more, an almost gentle expression filling her facial features. She looked so serene.
To Ochako, however, it was unsettling how fast the blonde could switch emotions. It left her constantly on edge, never able to fully settle into a feeling.
"... thats so sweet Ochako-chan" her voice was soft, Ochakos blood still dripping down her chin. "You mean a lot to me too!"
All the brunette could do was sigh. There was no getting through to this girl. She was just a figment of her imagination, a manifestation of her grief...
Right?
Yeah.
It was just a delusion of Toga.
Nothing more.
Ochako had suffered for so long, inhabited an earth without Toga for months, cried herself to sleep when her thoughts got too dark. She saw her in every smile, in every drop of blood she shed, in the first glimmer of the sunrise.
All she wanted was just another second with Toga. Another moment to pour her heart out and confess her love.
But she had wasted all her moments with Toga. Spent them fighting and pushing each other away, being frightened of her. She should have been holding her, kissing her forehead, and whispering sweet words in her ear when the world got to cruel.
She regretted every second she didn't spend loving Toga.
She wanted to pretend, to use this hallucination for closure, to tell her all the things she wished Toga had heard while she was alive. She wanted to love her the way she should've.
But she couldn't.
It would feel too hollow, too fake. She didn't deserve to engineer her own happiness, to utilise this fake version of Toga for her closure. It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't feel right.
The brunettes body started to ache and pale slightly at the loss of blood. She subconsciously reclined until the back of her head hit the rough cement.
"...so tired... I think I'm gonna pass out..."
The blonde pulled back and placed a gentle kiss on her open wound.
"I’m sorry ochako-chan... i was just so thirsty and your blood is the best!"
She felt and arm drape over her softly as ‘Toga’ laid down next to her.
It reminded her of the real toga’s last moments, how she had chosen to cradle Ochako and run her hand though her hair.
That day... The day Toga comforted her as she sacrificed every last drop of blood in her veins for Ochakos life. The day she was pried from Ochakos trembling hands as she kicked and screamed to hold her for just a second longer.
The day her darling was ripped away from her before their lips even touched.
"I'm so dizzy-..."
The brunettes’ voice was soft and slurred, barely detectable. She leaned her head to rest in the crook of the blonde’s neck. She reeked of that metallic blood smell, the way Toga had all those months ago.
"If you fall asleep, I can stand guard for you, Ochako-chan!"
She let out a contagious giggle, Ochako couldn't help but crack an exhausted smile.
"You're so nice to me... thank you..."
The brunettes breathing slowed, her vision fading as her limbs grew heavier.
Before she passed out only one thought came to Ochakos mind:
God, I would do anything to make this real.