Work Text:
Eli Clark has a problem.
He was desperately in love with his roommate.
Lying in bed, he tried to pin point when it all started.
When they had met, during their first year in college, he had been dating his now ex-girlfriend, Gertrude. Although they eventually broke things off because of distance and growing apart, he did love her at that time. So, at first, he hadn't considered Aesop that way. They had (literally) bumped into each other one day during their first year. It was late in the evening, and as Eli was leaving the library, Aesop was entering it.
Then, a couple days later, they found each other in the campus’ coffee shop. Eli had initiated a conversation, and then became friends. Pursuing different majors, they didn't have any classes in common, but they often met up at the library to study together or shared a coffee together.
Aesop was quiet and reserved, but still really kind and interesting. He didn't talk that much, but when he did, it was always intelligent. He was funny, too, although most people didn't get his humour.
Aesop was a bit of an outcast, as it seemed people didn't appreciate his trait the way Eli did. But he didn't care. He knew what it was like to be different.
Towards the end of their first year, Eli and Gertrude broke things off. It hurt, but he saw it coming and he knew it was for the better. Thankfully, they kept it amicable. He still loved her, and maybe a romance between them wasn't ideal, but he still wanted to be friends.
During the break up, Aesop was there for him, too.
When their first year started, they decided to share a dorm. Eli had randomly been assigned a roommate during his first year, because he didn't know anyone. But now that he had a best friend, they intended to take advantage of that possibility to choose their roommate.
It was during that time that Eli started noticing more things about Aesop. It was in the little things: the way his otherwise dull eyes lit up when he spoke about his passions; the little crease in between his eyebrows when he concentrated; how meticulous he was; how skillful he was with his hands; how he’d pinch his lips when trying to refrain a smile at one of Eli’s unfunny jokes.
Living together also meant seeing the other man in more intimate, domestic settings : he noticed Aesop liked his pajamas a size to big, which made him look even skinnier than he usually did. He’d watch his delicate traits when he’d fall asleep on their room's comforter. Sometimes, he’d catch himself looking at his friend's grey eyes or pale pink lips just a bit too long.
In conclusion, Eli couldn't pinpoint one particular moment that made him fall in love with Aesop. It had been gradual, entwined in the little moments and the time they spent together.
It had been in the tight hug Aesop had given him upon receiving Eli's Christmas gift last year. It had been in the way he wiped Eli’s mouth with his own handkerchief sometimes. In the way he had smirked when gifting Eli a wooden statuette of an Owl he had made himself for his birthday a couple months ago.
So, Eli was screwed. No matter when it had started, he had been in love with his best friend and roommate for well over year now.
He knew Aesop liked boys, but could he ever like him ? Eli valued their friendship and despite how yearning he was, he didn't want to risk ruining their bond.
He turned in his bed to lie on his stomach and bury his face in his pillow.
“Hey, El’, you okay?”
Eli was startled and rolled around to see Aesop. Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't heard his friend enter the room.
“All okay,” he lied, hoping his voice wouldn't betray him. “ Just frustrated with exams preparation.”
Aesop nodded without a word as he took off his coat and neatly emptied out the content of his bag on his desk. The grey haired man then went to take a shower, and Eli decided to start preparing dinner in the meantime.
Aesop got out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, beautiful as always in his pajamas, and set the table without a word. They didn't talk : they didn't need to. They both liked the quiet, and the silence they shared was special to them. It was intimate and reassuring in a way. Like a reminder that they didn't need words to be in sync, to get each other.
After the dinner, as they cleaned, they chatted. First, they discussed the upcoming week of exams, and the conversation shifted to the latest dumb gossip Eli had heard. Even though Aesop always acted like he was above it, Eli saw his barely repressed smile.
______
It happened after the exams' week. They were both stressed and exhausted and had barely spent any time together in the last few days. But now, they were both done and freed from the shackles of academic pressure (for the moment).
Eli had brought back take out food and dumped it on the table next to Aesop, and he had said it : “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Eli responded without even thinking it. It was true, had always loved Aesop, even as a friend. But saying it out loud now what terrifying. The grey haired man didn't react, so maybe he had taken it as a declaration of friendship, just like his own.
Eli went to sleep with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt so anxious, so afraid of being found out, of facing rejection. He didn't want to ruin his friendship with Aesop. He loved him so much, that he was ready to stop his own romantic love in order to keep him in his life.
“Hey El’ ?”
Aesop wasn't asleep, as it turned out. Eli stayed still, unafraid any word coming out of his mouth would be utterly stupid.
“Earlier, did you mean it ? Because I meant it. As, I love you, more than like a friend.”
Eli still couldn't move. It had to be a dream, right ? Some trickster spirit playing a prank on him, trying to get him to confess to an unsuspecting Aesop.
“It’s okay if you only love me as a friend. I just wanted you to know it.”
Eli finally managed to turn around and open his eyes. On the other side of the room, Aesop was also lying towards him, his eyes open.
“Is this real ? Because I’d really like it to be.”
See ? In Eli’s mind, that had to be a really stupid thing to answer to your best friend confessing his love to you.
“I’ll tell you again in the morning, okay ? When we’re both sure it’s real. Goodnight El’.”
“Goodnight Sop. I lo—”
“No,” Aesop interrupted him. “Say it again in the morning when you're sure it’s real.”
“Okay, I will.”
Eli Clark felt like all his problems had suddenly faded away.
His best friend loved him back.