Chapter Text
Mike had a brilliant idea for a new video, and with it being the Friday evening, Jenny was hanging out here, it was the perfect day to film. He always performed better with someone to talk to rather than speaking to a camera in an empty room. Jenny’s presence made the whole thing feel more natural, like this was just him, talking to his friend. Mike set up the tripod and the camera, checked the lighting, and pressed the record button.
“Welcome back MikRo Maniacs, hope you're having a good day! I know it's been a while since I uploaded any new content. But you guys loved the last video, it got one fucking million views, and I reached hundred and fifty k followers, so the pressure was high to not let you down. Since you guys loved the last one, today I am doing another social experiment: calling random numbers until I can convince a stranger to hang out with me.”
“There’s about half a billion unique numbers in the United States alone. And my goal today is to get one of those random people to pick up the phone and agree to hang out with a stranger, me. Luckily area codes exist. So to help narrow this down, I am only gonna be calling people from my city by putting these three digits at the front of every number. However, the seven numbers that follow that will be completely random. Wish me luck and let’s get started!”
“Okay so 9-1-7, and let’s just punch in random numbers. Boom boom boom.” Mike waited for the phone to ring.
Try #1
Beep. Beep. Beep. This number doesn’t exist.
He tried once more.
“It’s ringing! Here we go, chat!”
Try #2
A robotic, recorded message played.
Sorry, Amy is not available please record your message at the tone.
“Should I leave a voice message? I am going to leave a voicemail.”
“Hey Amy, this is Mike. Just calling to see if you want to maybe hang out. Uh, you can give me a call back at this number at your earliest convenience, thank you. Have a good day.”
“Okay, that was a real number, so that’s a good start. That’s a good sign we are on the right path. Here we go.”
Try #3
We are sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected.
“Oh my god, this is gonna be harder than I thought.”
Try #4.
Hi, who’s this?
An actual person for once!
“Hi, this is Mike.”
“And they ended the call,” Mike sighed.
Try #15:
Hello?
“Hey, how’s it going?”
Good, man. What’s up?
“Uh, not much. I am actually just calling random numbers and trying to get someone to hang out with me. Would you be interested in hanging out?”
Again. Beep. Beep. Beep. They hung up on him...
Try #21: I don’t know you! Stop wasting my time!
Try #26: Beep. Beep. Beep.
Try #35: Wow. That’s pathetic.
Try #41: Nope.
Try #59: I’ve got a boyfriend.
Try #71: Nah. I am good.
“I am dialling number after number after number. Either nobody answers, nobody picks up the phone, they hang up the phone immediately, or just tell me flat out no!”
Try #88:
“Hey, how is it going?”
Who am I speaking to?
“Who is this?”
You called me, bro, what do you mean?
“Oh, sorry. I am just actually calling random numbers to see if anyone wants to hang out. Do you want to hang out?”
Nah, man.
Mike was visibly disappointed after no sign of success for almost three hours, until—
“Oh, we’re getting a call back. I’m getting a call back. I’m getting a call back. Oh my god.”
It showed Joey on the screen.
“Hey, is this Joey?”
Yes.
“How you doing?” Mike smiled, doing an impression of Joey from ‘Friends.’
I am doing alright, how are you doing? Joey apparently didn't catch that or he had heard it too many times to be amused by it.
“I am doing well. Just wanted to see if you wanna hang out?”
Um, whatchu have in mind?
“Are you in New York?”
Yeah.
“Oh well, I am in Brooklyn.”
How do I know you, Mike? Joey asked, curious.
Mike laughed. “You don’t. You don’t. I am just calling random numbers, just to try ’n see if I can find someone to hang out with...”
That seems a little desperate to me.
Mike laughed again.
“Desperate times, you know. What are you up to now, Joey?”
I am going out to dinner.
“Well enjoy your dinner.” He ended the call.
“I should have pushed harder, I’m sure if I had pushed hard enough, I could have hung out with Joey. This is the closest we got.”
“Anyway let’s jump right back into it.”
“That gives me hope, you know, people are receiving my messages, maybe someone else will call back soon...”
“Three hours in. I continue to have no luck at all.”
“Let me try my luck with another code. Manhattan. Let’s see what you got.”
Try #89:
This is Felicia, how can I help you?
“Hey Felicia, how’s it going?”
Doing well, how are you?
“Doing well. My name is Mike. I am actually just doing something a little fun. Just calling random numbers and trying to see if anyone wants to hang out. I just so happened to dial your number. Would you like to hang out?”
Mike crossed his fingers as Felicia took a slight pause.
Uh, no, this is actually a business number.
“Oh, like what are you doing after work?”
Another awkward pause. Then—
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Behind the camera, Jenny said, “I thought that was it!”
“Me too. I thought that would work!”
He kept these little interactions in his videos. People always got curious and left comments about who was off camera.
Try #98:
“Hi, this is Mike—”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Wow. People in Manhattan are either busier or more rude than Brooklynites. They don't even bother saying no.”
Try #99:
Hi, who’s this?
“Uh my name is Mike. what’s your name?”
Well Mike, why are you calling me?
“I dialed a random number, I was wondering if you would be interested in hanging out...”
I am busy today.
“How about this weekend?”
I already have plans for the weekend.
“Then how about the next one?”
An awkward pause and then—
—Uh no, I am fine, thank you.
“No worries, have a good one.”
Mike gave a disbelieving look to the camera.
“If somebody called me with that, I would fucking do it. I would just see where it takes me.”
Try #115:
Jim Cordon.
“Hi Jim, how are you?”
I am good but who are you?
“I am Mike. You don't know me, Jim. But do you wanna do something fun? Can we hang out this weekend?”
I am too old to hang out. I am seventy-four.
“That's not true. We can still hang out! Age is just a number, after all.”
Jim took a while to respond, maybe thinking about it.
—Thank you for the offer but I have to decline. I am sure you will find someone, kid.
“Thanks for your time, Jim. Have a nice day.”
You too, kid.
Mike smiled at the camera, exhausted. “Well, at least he was a good dude—he treated me like a person, not like I was a nobody. Let's take this positivity forward and try some more numbers.”
Try #128:
“Specter,” came the deep, smooth, confident voice on the other end.
Mike swallowed. Wow. He sounds– hot. Okay. focus. Don’t sound like a complete idiot.
“Uh…hi. I’m Mike,” he said, trying to sound casual. “I…I’m calling totally random numbers and see if they wanna hang out.”
There was a pause. Then: “That sounds pretty dangerous, Mike. You shouldn’t do that.”
Mike laughed. “I am a grown man. I’m twenty-eight. And we’d be meeting in a public place. So, not that dangerous.”
“Well, kid,” the voice drawled, “how do you know I’m not a serial killer or a kidnapper?”
Serial killer? Why does that sound hot. No, Mike, that's terrifying. Definitely terrifying. Mike’s brain did a mental backflip. “Okay, first of all, why would you ask that question if you were a serial killer? And if you are a kidnapper, I should warn you, you know, save you the trouble—no one will look for me if I go missing and I don’t have any money to my name.”
There was a chuckle. “Maybe I want you to think that I’m just a random guy asking a hypothetical question… and you really shouldn't be telling people that, you will be the perfect next victim, if I am a serial killer.”
Mike’s lips twitched. Smart. Definitely smart. He was hooked. “You didn’t have to do all that. I generally assume people aren’t serial killers…unless they give me a reason to think otherwise. And if you really are one, you should know my friend is listening and I am recording this, so if something happens to me, they will know where to look.”
A laugh came through the phone that made Mike’s chest tighten for reasons he wasn't willing to look at too closely. “Okay, well…how do I know that you aren’t a serial killer?”
Mike raised an eyebrow at his audacity. “See, now that’s easy. I’m a YouTuber. My channel is Mad Mike if you wanna look me up.”
“And why are you doing this, Mad Mike?” Harvey asked without a pause.
“It’s actually for a new video.”
There was a pause, and then the smooth, teasing tone again: “How do you know if the other person is interested in you or not?”
Mike’s cheeks warmed. God, he’s good at this. I’m supposed to be in control. “I…don’t. That’s why the call.” He shrugged even though Harvey couldn’t see him.
“You know, people generally use Tinder or Bumble these days. Or walk into a bar, like the good old days,” Harvey said, amused.
Mike’s heart did that panicky flip again. Okay, stay calm. He’s just teasing. He’s teasing, right? “I am not—uh, that’s not the purpose of this! I just…thought it’d be fun. You know, have a good day with somebody.”
“Well,” Harvey said finally, “you’re either very brave…or completely insane.”
Mike couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. “Maybe a little of both, besides, the truly brave are the ones others call crazy.”
There was silence. Then, just one slow, deliberate laugh. Can he tell I’m flustered?
“Sounds about right.”
“So, Harvey. What do you say? Wanna do something reckless?” Mike smiled.
“Why would I say yes?”
“Because you haven’t hung up yet. I have been doing this for three hours and thirty six minutes. We’re speaking for eleven minutes and you’re the first person that stayed for so long. That tells me you’re intrigued.”
“Or maybe I’m just bored and have nothing better to do.”
“Well, if I’m entertaining—which I am, since you’re still here”—Mike’s cocky grin came through even over the phone—“then imagine how fun I am in person!”
Harvey paused, and Mike wasn’t about to make the ‘Joey’ mistake of letting silence sink in. He jumped in again.
“You take the blue pill—the story ends. You wake up in your bed, living your routine life. But sometimes…you take the red pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
“Okay, Morpheus. That all you got?” Harvey’s smirk was audible. He was hooked, but he wasn’t about to make it easy.
“Oh, I can do this all day,” Mike countered. “You know people have been cursing me out, hanging up. But you seem like a kind person.”
“Funny. People who know me wouldn’t use that word to describe me. And I am thirty-eight FYI.”
“So what. Carpe diem. Seize the day, Harvey. Who knows when you’ll get a chance like this again?”
Harvey grinned, “Ah, so you believe you can ‘make my life extraordinary,’ huh?”
Mike felt a rush of triumph. People rarely caught all his movie references. “Well, I can’t promise to change your whole life…but I can definitely make your day extraordinary.”
There was a pause. Then, in that low, confident tone that made Mike’s stomach do flips: “A day may come when the courage of men fails…but it is not this day.”
Mike’s grin widened. “Wise choice, Aragorn, sometimes…even the smallest person can change the course of the future.”
Harvey laughed. “Gandalf, huh? All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”
“Yeah. So, are you free tomorrow?”
Harvey took a pause, probably to check his schedule even though it was a Saturday. “Sure, that works.”
“Sweet. I will text you the deets.”
“You should know that I box, regularly,” he quipped, bringing the conversation back to the serial killer thing.
Ah, just when Mike thought this man couldn’t get any more hot. “You gonna bring gloves to a knife fight?” Mike teased.
“So you do admit, you are one. You should know that if you are a serial killer, I will murder you before you murder me, Mad Mike.”
Mike laughed, “I don’t doubt that! Well, I am not bringing any weapons, so please don’t bring any either!”
“Alright, Mike. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye Harvey!”
Okay, he thought, this is officially the best number I’ve ever dialed.
“Looking back on it, this did not seem real! Trust me guys, it was not scripted! I just connected to a totally random stranger and talked for thirty-nine minutes!”
“That’s it for today, MikRo Maniacs. Stay tuned for the next video where we meet Harvey Specter IRL. Don't forget to like the video and comment what should we do for the hang out! Peace.” Mike smiled before putting a hand on the camera lens and ending the video. This was gonna be his best idea ever, he could already feel it.