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'Twas the night before Sinsmas, and all through the hotel
there was screeching and hollering, after all, this was Hell.
It began with a Princess and yet a new scheme,
That had consequences even she couldn’t dream.
Charlie schemed a lot, but this idea was insane,
And in most everyone’s opinion, rather inane.
It was just after dinner when she made the announcement,
That made Angel scoff and make a denouncement.
“I’m out,” he declared once the suggestion left her lips,
And got up from the table with his hands on his hips.
“Why not?” Charlie said, “Everyone would participate!”
That's what Angel feared; he could already speculate.
“This can only be bad,” Angel bemoaned with a sigh.
“Can’t you just give it a shot?” Charlie let out a cry.
Angel looked at her face with crumbling resistance,
Then gazed ‘round the room, looking for some assistance.
To his surprise, help came in from the rear,
Who knew that the spider could get help from a deer?
“He does have a point,” Alastor chimed in.
“It could all go sideways,” he said with a grin.
Charlie deflated as Angel was given support,
“Are you scared, Bambi?” Lucifer teased, always quick to retort.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Alastor snarled in reply.
“So why not say yes?” Lucifer took up the cry.
“She’s talkin’ ‘bout transformation,” Angel shouted out loud.
“That shit is no joke, stop acting all proud!”
“It’s a temporary spell,” Charlie was quick to assure.
“Nothing that needs a counter spell cure!”
“It was meant to help lovers find their soulmate-
-their one true love, picked out by fate!”
“And what if they have none?” Al said, interest piqued.
“Then nothing would happen,” Lucifer quipped and cheeked.
“You will change to match the one meant for you-”
“And it’s meant to help, to provide a small clue!”
“Well, that leaves me out!” Al laughed and stood in haste,
“I am unmatched, so my presence is simply a waste!”
“No! We all should participate!” Charlie cried in dismay,
“You can’t leave now, you just have to stay!”
Alastor floundered at the brazen command,
This was definitely not what he had planned.
“This is pointless,” he snarled as Lucifer laughed.
“I don’t want to take part, this is all quite daft!”
But Charlie’s lips wobbled as she begged the red host,
He saw it was futile and gave up the ghost.
He huffed and reseated, “This is preposterous,
-What a waste of good magic on a silly hypothesis!”
“Thanks, Alastor,” Charlie sang before turning
To reface Angel, her confidence returning.
“Please, Angel?” she begged, then Vaggi chimed in,
“It won’t be too bad,” she cajoled to his chagrin.
“Easy fer you to say,” he gestured at them,
“You’ll both look like Angels,” continued the fem.
What’ll I look like? He didn’t dare say,
If he turned into a moth, he would NOT be okay.
“I’m sure you’ll be lovely!” Charlie demurred easily.
“It’ll all be okay,” she continued breezily.
“Not to be the one to derail the track
-won’t it be confusing ‘till we all change back?”
Husk wondered how they would know who was who
When “looking like your soulmate” was the only clue.
“It’s all figured out!” Charlie smiled and said,
Husk rolled his eyes, still filled with some dread.
“It all sounds like a nightmare, if you’re asking me.”
“Whassamatter, Whiskers, scared to see what you’ll be?”
“Says the future doe freak,” Husk rejoined with attrition,
“Good one, Husky,” Angel dismissed with derision.
“Husk makes a good point,” Vaggi said with a frown.
Lucifer cried, “Leave that to me; I won’t let you down!”
“It’ll just be some changes, nothing too traumatic,
And you’ll feel the truth, don’t be dramatic!”
The king talked a big talk, with a smile and a wink,
And the hotel guests’ hearts started to sink.
After a bit more talk, Angel and Husk gave in,
The residents all left, knowing they couldn’t win.
The staff was left, all but one excited,
Convinced their adventure wasn’t short-sighted.
“Kiddo, everyone will be matched. This will be great!
Now head up to bed, it’s getting quite late!”
Charlie and Vaggi retired; Lucifer watched them depart,
Watching them together always warmed his snake heart.
“You? In charge of Soulmates? Well, isn’t that brave?”
Alastor interrupted his thoughts with a sneer and a wave.
Lucifer frowned, feeling quite slighted,
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He grumped, undelighted.
“You said you’d match everyone to your darling daughter.
But I have no match! You're a lamb to the slaughter!”
Lucifer growled, “Just wait and see what I have in store!”
“You think you know everything? Well, I know so much more!”
Alastor disappeared with a laugh and a sneer,
While Lucifer stormed off, ready to show that damned deer.
He might not think so, but Luci knew love,
And he knew just what his magic was capable of.
All through the night, he worked up a spell,
That would affect all the Sinners who lived in Hell.
Spell cast, he retired, exhausted, to bed,
And dreams of his dear wife danced in his head.
His morning alarm was a scream from the hall,
His daughter hadn’t changed, nor Vaggi at all.
“How could this be?” his daughter wailed, so pure and so sad,
And Lucifer panicked, like any good dad.
“Wait here!” Luci ordered, desperate to fix,
“I’ll make a call!” He sprinted out, his thoughts in a mix.
He knew who to call, that silly King snake,
Asmodeus would know how to fix this mistake!
A shadow observed from its spot on the wall,
Ignored by Lucifer on his way to make a call
Alastor could wait, though he was yearning to gloat,
He hadn’t changed a bit, still a deer in a coat!
Well, gloating could wait; though he waited with glee,
To brag about Lucifer’s failure, inevitable, you see!
He had no match, no mate on his part!
He thought, ignoring the pesky little twinge in his heart.
Angel awoke with a groan, and then with a start.
A quite nervous feeling arose in his heart.
Did he dare take a look? Unsure if he should,
He took a deep breath, and then up he stood.
Angel nervously walked over to his mirror,
Afraid to look, eyes closed and filled with terror.
He blinked an eye open, and nearly did faint;
His lower arms missing! A spider, he ain’t!
Above his head, two small antlers did appear,
His features had changed to… “Aw, fuck, I’m a deer!”
He heard noises outside the door and hurried to lock it,
He couldn’t be seen, no one could clock it!
Asmodeus was asleep in bed with his jester,
He was far from a morning-demon, everyone knew not to pester.
Fizz was snoozing on his lover’s broad chest,
The two of them snuggled in their little love nest.
A sudden ring disturbed their soft peace,
And they both panicked as they tried to make it cease.
“Who the fuck is that?” Fizz peeked with a frown
“Our favorite apple daddy who wears a crown?!?”
Ozzie grabbed the phone and answered, voice groggy,
“Lucifer? D’you know what time it is? You woke up my Froggy!”
“I’m sorry to bother but I need your help!
I fucked up quite badly,” Lucifer continued with a yelp.
Lucifer explained ‘bout the spell he had made,
And how his daughter had remained sadly unchanged.
“The spell makes them match,” Ozzie explained with a yawn.
“She’s already an angel, despite being Hellspawn!”
Lucifer thanked him with glee, then they parted,
And Oz turned back to his lover, warm-hearted.
“Sorry ‘bout that, Froggy. Is it too early to bone?”
He was hoping to make his love forget about the phone.
“It’s never too early,” Fizz said with a grin.
“Your dick feels so great, just slide it right in.”
The two of them tussled right there in the bed,
And all thoughts of Lucifer fled from their head.
Lucifer returned to Charlie, who had not stopped her wail,
“Don’t worry, my pet, the spell didn’t fail!
You’re already an Angel, so there was nothing to alter!
You and your girlfriend are perfect, practically ready for the altar!”
Charlie popped her head right up from the duvet,
She considered the news; it was true, you could say
She was an angel, it's true, at least in part,
The two of them were soulmates! She knew in her heart.
Charlie smiled and sniffled, wiping her eyes,
She hopped out of bed, eager for a Sinsmas surprise.
Surely the others had changed to match soulmates as well!
What would they all look like? Only one way to tell!
She ran to the door, donning pants of blue jean,
And ran to make breakfast, her appetite keen.
“She recovers quite fast,” she heard her father say.
Vaggi replied with a smile, “Well, she loves Sinsmas Day.”
Lucifer nodded, and the pair did depart,
Making the awaiting shadow perk up with a start.
Lucifer sneered at it, not wanting to note,
That he had noticed that Alastor was once more waiting to gloat.
The Shadow departed back to its Master,
To report on Lucifer’s apparent disaster.
Alastor cackled and chuckled aloud with delight,
“I can’t possibly resist such a sad, sorry sight.”
He made his way past the room of Hell’s favorite whore,
Not noticing Angel was peeking out from the door.
His shadow did notice, eyes growing wide and curious,
But Angel quickly retreated, feeling quite furious.
Of course, he didn’t change, he thought in a fury,
How could the Radio Demon be with someone like me?
He resolved to hide out and not work tonight,
Fuck what Valentino said, he had to stay out of sight.
A knock on the door gave Angel a start,
“I’m sick! Go away,” he lied, clutching his heart.
“Get the fuck out here!” Cherri said with a lilt,
Her voice a relief, though he still lied, with guilt.
“I’m serious, I can’t,” he said to his friend,
But Cherri burst the door down in the end.
She gawped at him, then laughed till she cried.
“Stop laughing!” he yelled and pulled her inside.
It was then he saw that she had changed too,
From a cyclops to a snake, and he knew exactly who.
He pointed her to the mirror, “Go take a look-see!”
She took a look and shrieked, “What the hell? Fuck me!”
“Guess you and Pentious are the real deal, alright!”
“So what’s that make you? Radio Demon’s delight?”
He shushed her, knowing Al would be furious if he knew,
“Please don’t tell? Who knows what he’ll do?”
Cherri agreed, though she doubted it would really be bad,
Deferring to Angel, though it made her quite sad.
“...bring me up some breakfast?” He whispered his plea.
“Sure bitch. Without me, where would you be?”
She slipped out the door, slithering down the stairs,
And Angel felt a shiver run over each of his hairs.
He couldn’t help thinking of the Shadow in the hall,
And wondering if Al had any inkling about it at all.
“Well, what’s the worst that could happen? I die again?
Maybe that’s for the best, just meet a swift end.”
He moped back to his bed with tears in his eyes,
Feeling low and unloved and altogether unwise.
The morning ran long, and soon it’d be noon,
And everyone but Angel had appeared in the breakfast saloon.
Charlie was worried and began to question
Could someone go check on him, per her suggestion?
“I saw him, he’s fine,” Cherri appeared, lying without a wince.
But Charlie remained quite unconvinced.
“I suppose I could check,” Alastor said with grace.
“Oh, what a prince,” Lucifer mocked to his face.
Cherri slipped out sneakily, heading back to her friend,
But the shadow followed, curious to the end.
She zigged, and she zagged, but it kept up the pace.
She turned to confront him, a grenade to the face!
But the shadow just grinned with some wicked glee,
Swallowing down the bomb with a little teehee.
She huffed and turned, yelling that Angel didn’t want him there,
And to her surprise, the shadow wilted and left without flair.
Angel was grateful she brought him some food,
But she noticed he seemed in an awful mood.
“Val’s called me in, I’m so fucking dead!”
He gestured to his hellphone, face up on the bed.
“You could say you’re sick?” Cherri suggested.
“I tried,’ he moaned, as he ingested.
“I can’t focus,” he cried, struggling to think.
“This body’s so sensitive and makes everything stink!”
Cherri eyed her friend; he looked really warm,
Could it be he was sick, not feeling the norm?
“You feelin’ okay?” She asked with some worry.
“I’m dizzy and hot, and I feel all blurry!”
Angel shook his head clear, standing up to pace,
Suddenly filled with nervous energy, wanting out of this place.
He had to get out, sudden instincts running wild,
And to Cherri’s surprise, he left his place of exile.
He caught scent of his buck and started to swoon.
“Not now!” he thought, “it’s too fucking soon!”
He sobbed with want as 'twixt his legs he did gush
It was all so sudden, his brain turned to mush.
Alastor had approached the hall with a grin on his mouth
When he caught a smell that made all his blood run south.
He caught sight of Angel, and the doe let out a whimper,
He growled in reply, and Angel melted with a simper.
They stared for a beat, not a word did they breathe,
Eyes roving each other, with a building need.
Then their self-control broke and suddenly snapped,
All their restraint was gone, completely sapped.
The buck grabbed at his doe, biting his neck,
And the pleasure hit with the force of a wreck.
Angel writhed and whined like a cheap, tawdry whore,
And Alastor drank it in like a musical score.
Cherri, from the doorway, peeked out with a fright,
Till she saw the Radio Demon ravish his doe at first sight.
“Get it, Angie,” she thought to herself with glee,
Her friend deserved it, but still, “I wish that were me!”
By the witching hour, the spell had worn off,
And Angel awoke, feeling quite soft.
He sighed out a breath, “This is where it all ends.
I mean, what the fuck, we ain't even friends!”
Angel thought it better to cut his losses,
He tried to sneak out of bed and text his bosses.
“Where are you going?” Alastor murmured, awaking with a start.
Angel turned with a smile and a sinking heart.
“It’s midnight,” he whispered, “And I’m already late.
Val will kill me if I continue to make him wait.”
Alastor stared and then scoffed and guffawed,
“That moth is nothing! A cad and a fraud!”
“Easy f’you to say! You know I can’t stay,
My contract means I always have to obey!”
“Of course you can, my effeminate friend,
Consider your contract at its very end!”
Angel stared at him blankly, not daring to hope,
He had heard oaths before; he wouldn’t be a dope.
But this was the Radio Demon, not some Sinner sheep,
Maybe this time, he had met a man whose promises would keep.
“Do you promise?” Angel whispered, filled with hopeful joy.
“My dear, you’re mine now, not some little toy!
I give you my word, my promise, my vow,
I shall end your contract, right here and right now!”
Alastor held out his hand, and Angel gave it a look,
Well, what had he to lose? He grabbed it and shook.
The room filled with power as they made a new deal,
And Angel’s chains broke, of that he could feel.
His shackles were gone, but in their place
Sat a beautiful necklace of lovely red lace.
“Now come back to bed, I’m still tired, my dear!”
Angel complied, snuggling up close and near.
Everyone would be shocked in the morning to see,
The two hand in hand, filled with mischievous glee
As in front of them all, under the bright mistletoe,
Alastor kissed Angel, his sweet mistle-doe.
Even in Hell, true love finds a way, with a Princess and magic, on this Sinsmas day.