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Link: Did you see that?
Zelda:
Link: I just whack! And kerchow! And took care of that thing!
Zelda: …
Zelda: I uh, I know. I… haa. I saw you. I was here the entire time.
Link: You WERE? That means you got to see the whole awesome fight! Cool, you can help me tell everyone about it!
Zelda: It was not cool! I was so worried for you, Link!
Link: Why? Clearly I was fine.
Zelda: Because you just woke up. And you immediately came here to face Ganon with a stick! And setting aside how I’m still not sure how you won with only that—
Link: Actually, it was a bunch of sticks I had picked up. All of them kept breaking.
Zelda: —you weren’t even wearing any armor to protect you! Or even clothes! And I’m surprised that pot lid you had held up at all! Coming here like this was so reckless!
Link:
Link: You are the voice that asked me to come, right? I came, so what are you complaining for?
Zelda: I won’t deny that it is nice to no longer have to fight the Calamity after a hundred years, but I was worried that I’d have to watch you die a…
Link: Calamity? And… A HUNDRED YEARS? Now, I may not remember much, but that’s a long time, isn’t it?
Zelda: Yes… I thought you said you heard me ask you to come? I told you then, didn’t I?
Link: I was distracted. A pretty girl was talking to me from somewhere, and then there was that big black thing that was kinda freaky for seeing it the first time, even if it didn’t turn out to be such a big deal. I did pretty good for just having woken up today, huh?
Zelda: Technically, it’s been a bit over twenty-four hours since you woke up.
Link: Huh. Well, I guess what I wanted to say was that I was a bit distracted and really only remembered what you said about hurrying. So I came! Is it really such a big deal that I haven’t been up that long before I rescued a pretty girl like you?
Zelda: Well, I suppose that it is all in the past now… Wait! You… called me pretty?
Link: Well, I was only hoping you were pretty, but now that I see you it’s clear you are. Even if you need a bath. [sniffs his armpit] Ah, I need one, too.
Zelda: Ah… It’s… You just never said anything like that before, so I was a bit surprised when you said that.
Link: Before?
Zelda:
Zelda: Link? Do you not remember me?
Link: Link?
Link:
Link: Oh, that’s my name, isn’t it?
Link: Uh, no?
Zelda: I can NOT believe you used the bow of light to hunt.
Link: Hey! I shot a boar with it! That’s fitting with what you’ve told me about the… clammy…
Zelda: Calamity.
Link: Yeah, that. It’s basically a boar, isn’t it? So it’s not that sacrilegious.
Zelda: You don’t remember anything about the Calamity Ganon that greatly defined both of our lives so long ago, but you remember a term like sacrilegious?
Link: [shrugs] I guess. I really don’t know how this amnesia thing works. So? Are you going to eat your meal or can I steal it?
Zelda: …You’ve already eaten twenty-seven skewers. I know you’ve always had quite the appetite, but isn’t that excessive, even for you?
Link: Well, this is the first time I’ve eaten in a hundred years. It makes sense that I want to eat half a boar.
Zelda: It is not. The one thing you did before fighting Ganon besides picking up a stick was cooking… what was it?
Link: Mighty simmered fruit?
Zelda: Mighty?
Link: It helped my hits be extra strong.
Zelda: Uh… alright. But my point was, you ate that. This is not your first meal.
Link: Well… That wasn’t very filling. This is far more delicious, and besides, it helps keep me warm.
Zelda: And whose fault is it that you don’t have any clothes?
Link: Why would I want to wear century-old clothes anyway? Wouldn’t they be falling apart?
Zelda: That underwear you’re wearing is just as old yet you seem to have no issue wearing that.
Link: It was already on once I woke up. Why? Should I take it off, too?
Zelda:
Zelda: …
Zelda:
Zelda: [sighs]
Zelda: No. But I do think you should have clothes to wear, at least to help protect you from the elements if nothing else.
Link: It’s not that cold. Besides, I think the world deserves to see these. [flexes]
Zelda: Uh.
Zelda: I… [looks away] They do look very nice.
Link: Of course! And if I’m some great warrior—
Zelda: Swordsman.
Link: But I wasn’t using a sword earlier?
Zelda: Well you used to… nevermind. You were saying?
Link: Don’t I have a right to bare arms?
Zelda: …
Zelda: pfft
Zelda: [softly] Maybe you’re not so different after all…
Link: Hmm?
Zelda: Oh! Nothing… continue eating.
Link: I’m not so sure about this…
Zelda: Link, they’re clothes. Remember how you were complaining about being cold last night?
Link: But I’m not cold right now. I’m hot!
Zelda: Link—!
Paya: Eeek!
Zelda: Look, you’re scaring Paya. Put your shirt back on right now!
Link: Do I have to?
Zelda: Why do you think you wouldn’t need to?
Link: You seemed to appreciate the view last night.
Zelda:
Zelda: Put that shirt on right now, young man!
Link: Alright, grandma…
Impa: HA! If you should be calling anyone grandma, it should be me.
Link: Aren’t we the same age?
Impa: I’m a few years older, but I am actually an old lady and a grandmother. The princess, however, is actually a few months younger than you.
Link: Oh! Does that make me a grandpa? Actually, wait, I don’t really want to be a grandpa. At least not yet.
Impa: Perhaps you should instead apologize to the princess.
Link: …
Impa: Or did you forget your manners along with your memories?
Link: [sighs] Sorry, Zelda. I’ll be rude to only myself in the future.
Paya: [gasps]
Link: What? What’d I do wrong now?
Paya: You spoke to the princess so casually! You should address her only by her title or “Your Highness.”
Link: Er, sorry, Your…
Zelda: It’s alright. You’re forgiven on both counts.
Link: phew
Zelda: In fact, I’d… prefer if you called me by my name. I actually like it.
Paya: [gasps]
Impa: Oh?
Link: [whispers] They’re both way too concerned with things and Impa’s looking at us funny. Can we get out of this stuffy house?
Zelda: Yes, please. Oh—OH!
Link: What?
Zelda: Just because I wanted to leave didn’t mean you had to pick me up and carry me off in your arms immediately!
Link: But the little kids told me it was called a princess carry! So it’s perfect for you!
Zelda: It’s also called a brid…
Zelda: Eh. Um.
Zelda:
Link: ?
Zelda: …
Link: …why is Impa whistling like that?
Zelda: Please don’t ask me to tell you that.
Link: Do you think she could teach me to whistle like that?
Zelda: Why would you want to?
Link: No particular reason. Seems useful. Maybe I can use it to call for my horse.
Zelda: Since when do you have a horse?
Link: You already saw it. Rode on it, even!
Zelda: That was not your horse! That was a random horse that just happened to be nearby on Hyrule Field while you were fighting the Calamity!
Link: But I rode it?
Zelda:
Zelda: It’s not the same. It certainly won’t come if you whistle for it!
Link: Well, let’s see.
Zelda: Aaaah! Set me down before you try to whistle, please!
Link: Alright, then—mm!
Zelda:
Link:
Zelda:
Link:
Zelda:
Zelda: !!!
Link: …
Zelda: Don’t you know how to set someone down properly!?
Link: No? I’ve never really picked anyone up, either, so…
Zelda: Don’t just drop them! Because then… you’ll…
Link: I didn’t mind. Isn’t a kiss from the princess the sort of reward a hero should expect, anyhow?
Link: Zelda? Zelda?
Zelda: So you’re leaving?
Link: I mean, as lovely as it is to be around you, staying in Kakariko is… a little boring.
Zelda: I understand. I’d like to leave, a little, myself.
Link: You could come with me.
Zelda: Really?
Link: Of course!
Zelda: That is tempting, but… I’m not sure I’m strong enough to travel again. Just… promise you’ll come back?
Link: If you’re going to miss me so much, you could always kiss me goodbye.
Zelda: …
Zelda:
Zelda: [looks away]
Zelda: [huffs]
Link: Was it really that bad? When we kissed?
Zelda: It was bad that we kissed, at least! Could you please not bring it up?
Link: Well, excuse me, princess.
Zelda:
Zelda: Please… never speak like that again.
Zelda: …
Zelda: Though I suppose I shall miss you. Just because I… don’t want to kiss you right now doesn’t mean I—oh!
Zelda:
Zelda: [hugs Link back]
Link: I’ll come back soon. And I won’t ask you for a kiss.
Zelda: I’ll miss you.
Link: Though, if you want to kiss, just tell me.
Zelda: Weren’t you leaving?
Link: Yes, but—
Link:
Link: …
Link: [sighs]
Link: I can’t tell whether she likes me or not.
Link:
Zelda: Uh… I’ll miss you. Goodbye!
Link: …
Link: [grins]
Link: Really.
Zelda: You know, when you said that you’d return soon, I thought it wouldn’t take a full month.
Link: Ah, sorry. I got a little distracted.
Zelda: …Really, now?
Link: And I have a horse now!
Zelda: Link, I saw you coming in. That’s the same horse. Just with a saddle.
Link: I also named it!
Zelda: Dare I ask?
Link: I named it Curry.
Zelda: Why?
Link: Because curry is delicious.
Zelda: Yes, but you’re hardly going to eat your horse, are you?
Link:
Zelda: …
Link: …
Zelda: Are you?
Link: I don’t plan to! But sometimes I get awfully hungry, so maybe…
Zelda: You were the one that taught me to appreciate horses as much as I do, so I can’t in good conscience allow you to—
Link: I remembered something. From before.
Zelda:
Zelda: You… did?
Link: Yup. Was messing around Lanayru and remembered the Calamity rising.
Zelda: How… did you feel about it?
Link: Well, I remember feeling freaked out by it at the time, but now that I’ve beaten it and it wasn’t so hard, I know that it’s no big deal. Why did I feel that scared then?
Zelda: [sighs] I suppose that you don’t recall anything from… before that, then. Or after?
Link: Nope!
Zelda: …It’s a little disturbing how pleased you sound about being an amnesiac.
Impa: Princess… have you considered what you want to do as far as restoring the kingdom.
Zelda: !
Zelda: Uh…
Impa: I know you needed time to fully recover from the toll the century-long fight took on you, but it has been nearly a full year. Perhaps it does not need to happen immediately, but I believe it is now time to decide what you are doing.
Zelda: I don’t know. It’s just intimidating. I still feel seventeen. And before, I thought I’d have time after the Calamity to prepare to ascend the throne.
Impa: Be that as it may, Hyrule needs a Queen.
Zelda: …
Impa: And a King.
Zelda: !!!
Impa: I know how you felt about Link before the Calamity, Your Highness. And it’s obvious to any who look that you still like him. You always spend every moment he’s here with him, which I would be more concerned by if he weren’t well able to protect you. And he is certainly just as interested in you.
Zelda: Well… I… uh, that is…
Zelda: Impa, do you honestly think that Link would be a good King? The man that, just last week, injured his mouth by attempting to eat a Rhino Beetle alive?
Zelda: I’ll admit, I certainly had my hopes before everything went so dreadfully wrong that I could somehow convince Father to allow him to court and eventually marry me. But he was far more collected then. I… do like how much freer with expressing himself he is now, but I also must admit that he seems unsuitable to rule.
Impa: I must admit, I share your concerns. He’d have to learn how to… show more poise in formal situations.
Zelda: And not to tell every terrible pun that comes to mind no matter how inappropriate the circumstances.
Impa: Definitely.
Impa: But he has spent the past year travelling Hyrule and forming close connections to most peoples and settlements. Having him at your side would certainly strengthen your position in trying to reestablish a rule that few of the peoples directly remember.
Zelda: True, but…
Impa: And of course you cannot forget your duty to continue your bloodli—
Zelda: Ah! Do you hear the ruckus the children are making? Link must be here! I’m going to go see him!
Link: Is something bothering you, Zelda?
Zelda: Of course something is bothering me, Link. You showed up half-covered in bokoblin guts. Again.
Link: It’s actually hinox, this time.
Zelda: You realize that’s worse, right?
Link: Well, sure. But you usually yell at me to go take a bath before you’ll get within ten feet of me.
Link: Honestly, that’s usually the only reason I do take baths.
Zelda:
Link: Okay there’s no need to look that disgusted.
Zelda: Putting your terrible hygiene habits aside for now… I suppose you were right. I was bothered by something and am using you to distract me.
Link: So what was it?
Zelda: …
Link: You make me answer all your questions.
Zelda: Impa was nagging me about restoring the monarchy. Again. But honestly… I’m not sure I want to. Things could probably be better with more centralized government, but also things have functioned smoothly for most of the past century as well. And honestly, I was prepared solely to save a kingdom, not rule one. I’m not even sure if I’d want to now, so I’m tired of her bringing it up!
Link: …
Zelda: Are… are you going to say something, or will you just keep staring at me?
Link: Oh! Uh, sorry, I just like listening to your voice. It’s pretty.
Zelda: Wha—!?
Link: Maybe you could leave so Impa stops bothering you about it? That’s what I always do when I find someone annoying.
Zelda: That would be more difficult for me than for you. I don’t possess all the skills you do to survive in the wild, or to find my own place within a community.
Link: Then you can come with me.
Zelda: !?
Link: To Hateno.
Zelda: …
Link: I told you about the house I bought and renovated a few months ago, right? I haven’t spent much time there, but you’re more than welcome.
Zelda: I mean… Well, I’d be lying to say I wasn’t interested, but I just… I… I wasn’t expecting this.
Link: So you’ll come?
Zelda: I’d love to.
Link: Bringing home a princess… house about that?
Zelda: Link?
Link: Hmm?
Zelda: If you want me to go with you, you’d better shut up.
Manny: Ah! Link, you’re back! Did you get those cri—?
Manny: Oh? Is this your girl?
Link: I wish. She doesn’t seem interested in that, though.
Manny: Awful red face, huh?
Link: It’s not usually that red though.
Manny: Who is she?
Link: Ah. This is Zelda. She’s gonna be living with me.
Manny: …You sure she’s not your girl?
Link: Yeah. We’ve only kissed once, and she’s said she’s not interested in another. Though I’ve made it clear I’m definitely available for it.
Zelda: Link.
Link: Oh. That’s her upset voice. Better stop talking.
Zelda: Some days I wonder how you can be so oblivious.
Link: Is this not how your conversations with everyone else go?
Zelda: …
Link: Ah. Well, Manny, we’re only here for a meal at the inn briefly before heading home. So we’ll get out of your hair now.
Zelda: Well… it’s a little… sparse, isn’t it?
Link: I don’t have enough money to decorate it like a castle, no.
Zelda: And what’s with the strange men lounging in the yard?
Link: What? I like Bolson and Karson! They know how to have a good time!
Zelda: And they could be friends from afar. I, for one, would rather have the privacy.
Link: Fine… I’ll see if I can get them to leave us alone.
Zelda: Thank you.
Zelda: Now, regarding the matter of the decorations…
Link: What’s wrong with them?
Zelda: Link, do you realize that most people don’t simply hang weapons on their walls?
Link: I totally remember rooms with tons of weapons hanging on the walls.
Zelda: That was the armory, Link.
Link: Oh.
Zelda: And most people would place personal affects on the walls instead.
Link: But they are personal!
Zelda: How so?
Link: They’re recreations of all the Champions’ weapons! I got them after remembering each of them.
Zelda:
Zelda: Oh. You’re right.
Zelda: I suppose… that makes it a little better. But if you wouldn’t mind, I think I’d rather honor their memory in a different way. There’s a picture on the Sheikah Slate…
Link: Can these stay up until that’s ready?
Zelda: Fine.
Zelda: Okay, the fist pumping is entirely uncalled for.
Zelda: What are you trying to feed me for dinner?
Link: Frogs.
Zelda: What.
Link: Well, because you wanted me to try one that one time remember?
Zelda: You remembered what?
Link: So I figured we could have frog for dinner. Though I won’t eat one raw for you again. That was disgusting! Bleh!
Zelda: I… don’t want to eat them for a meal, though.
Link: After all this hard work I put into it for you?
Zelda: …
Link: Tastes like chicken.
Zelda: …Fine. I’ll try it. Only for you.
Zelda: Link… so you know how I was washing laundry today while you were helping with the monster extermination?
Link: Did you remember to pin it to the clothesline this time?
Zelda: Yes. That’s not the issue. When I was putting some of your things away, I found this.
Link:
Link: Uh—oh! I can explain!
Zelda: Please, do. The pant legs were clearly too short to be a Gerudo’s, so who does this outfit belong to?
Link: …
Zelda: Wait— You…?
Link: Yeah. I disguised myself as a woman to get into Gerudo Town. Again.
Zelda: Again? I…
Zelda: Pfft.
Zelda: Heheh.
Zelda: AHAHAHA!
Zelda: Wait! Link! No, don’t leave, I’d love to see you wearing it, I won’t laugh, I… hahaha!
Link: ZELDA!
Zelda: Ouch! Link, you need to be a little more careful about startling me when I’m working with technology! I’ve told you about this!
Link: Oh, sorry. But Zelda! A wedding!
Zelda: What?
Link: We’re going to a wedding!
Zelda: Whose wedding? I don’t recall anyone in Hateno…
Link: Hudson and Rhondson!
Zelda: Who? I don’t know them.
Link: Probably because they live in Tarrey Town. That’s a new place, way up in Akkala. But they’re really cool, I think you’ll like them!
Zelda: Alright… fine. When is it?
Link: This afternoon.
Zelda: What?
Link: What are you wedding for? Let’s go!
Zelda: That. Was a terrible pun.
Link: But you like it.
Zelda: Only as much as I like you.
Link: So a lot?
Zelda: There’s no need to brag about it.
Link: Uh, Zelda?
Zelda: …
Link: I… brought something back. Something that will hopefully make you feel better.
Zelda: …
Link: Will you come with me?
Zelda: …
Zelda:
Link: Alright! It’s… next to the tree.
Link: …
Link: Uh… here we are. I know how much you liked these flowers, but you said they were endangered so I replanted them and uh—
Zelda: They’re beautiful. I’m worried how well they’ll last here, but… still. Thank you, Link.
Link:
Link: There was one in the castle, you know. In your old study.
Zelda: You went there?
Link: Didn’t you wonder why I suddenly started hating the old king so much?
Zelda: …Ah.
Link: Well, there was one of these flowers blooming there. I think you’ll do fine with these ones.
Zelda: Alright. Thank you.
Link: Does this mean I’m forgiven, now?
Zelda: I’m speaking with you.
Link: Oh! Right! Awesome!
Zelda: But you should never drink enough again that you vomit into my lap ever again. Especially at a wedding. Understood?
Link: I promise.
Reede: Truly, I’m so sorry.
Zelda: About… what?
Reede: Asking Link to go take care of the monsters that cropped up in the old military training grounds again.
Zelda: True, but he regularly does that, so why…?
Thadd: You heard the explosion about an hour ago, right?
Zelda: Yes.
Thadd: I went to go check it, and… it was all a mess. No sign of him left there.
Reede: We shouldn’t have asked him.
Zelda: Actually… I don’t think…
Reede: We managed the monsters just fine before you two moved here. If we hadn’t become so reliant on his abilities, this tragedy wouldn’t have happened… Link would still be alive…
Link: RUMORS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GRAVELY EXAGGERATED!
Zelda: [sighs]
Reede: Wha—?
Thadd: Link! You’re alive!
Reede: Oh, thank the Goddess.
Link: It’s not so easy to kill me! Don’t you know I’m the Hero that defeated the Calamity?
Thadd: Uh… Sure. If you say so.
Zelda: I wish it was easier for your clothes to survive. What happened to them this time?
Link: The explosion.
Zelda: That would explain the soot. And the hair. Well, I suppose it’s better than monster guts. Now that you’ve seen for yourselves he’s more than alright, you can leave. And you need to go take a bath.
Link: What were they so worried about, anyway?
Zelda: Because most people would have died in an explosion like that.
Link: But I’ve impressed you to know it’d take more than that, right?
Zelda: I suppose. Mostly it’s that I saw better than anyone just how much it took you to die before.
Link:
Link: …
Link: ???
Link: I DIED?
Zelda: I find it difficult to believe that at no point in the past nineteen months have you realized that you died.
Link: I’m not as smart as you.
Zelda: The Shrine of Resurrection? What did you think it meant?
Link: I wasn’t paying close attention to anything then, let alone thinking about what it meant! You know that!
Zelda: Ah. True.
Link: So how did it happen? Was it awesome and brave and heroic?
Zelda: …
Zelda: Would you… like to see?
Link: That hurt. Why did I want to remember?
Zelda: You said you needed to judge for yourself if it was sufficiently heroic. As though you’re an objective judge on the matter.
Link: Well, you were way more impressive than I was.
Zelda: I wouldn’t have gotten to this point without you. It’s not worth comparing.
Link: …
Link: Hey, Zelda?
Zelda: Hmm?
Link: I guess you really can say that rumors of my death were gravely exaggerated, huh?
Zelda: It’s not as funny when you repeat it like that, Link.
Zelda: I think… I want to keep eating your breakfasts for the rest of my life.
Link:
Link: Okay.
Zelda: Okay? You’ll keep cooking breakfast for me that long?
Link: I will. So… when should we get married?
Zelda: Wh… WHAT?
Link: Isn’t that what you were saying? You want to get married?
Zelda: No! What made you think that?
Link: Paya was telling me about it, once. The traditional Sheikah way of proposing marriage. Something small, like saying you wanted to eat their cooking for the rest of your life.
Zelda: I knew of no such tradition.
Link: Oh. Well, then… I’d like to keep cooking breakfast with you for the rest of my life.
Zelda: Is that a proposal?
Link: Yeah.
Zelda: Are… you sure you would like to marry me? After all, I haven’t entirely decided what I want to do yet. If I ever decide to reestablish the monarchy, that would mean, as my husband, you’d become King. With responsibilities that don’t exactly fit with your current… activities.
Link: That does sound a little dull, but I think I’d be fine with it.
Zelda: What’s so great about me that you’re willing to put up with all of that?
Link: Well, you’re pretty, for one. And like my cooking. And are super smart. And everything about living with you feels super comfortable. But most of all…
Zelda: ?
Link: Most of all, your voice is probably the only thing I like better than the sound of my own.
Zelda: Pfft. You’re insufferable.
Link: But you like that about me.
Zelda: That I do.