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The sky was alight with rivers of blues and greens, flashes of violet and red. Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes away. He finds himself leaning away from his father’s warmth, standing and stretching his arms out just to get a bit closer to the brilliant light. They’re visiting some distant cousins in Norway and his father has woken him up to see the northern lights. Sirius had been cranky when his father had dragged him out of bed, bleary-eyed and stumbling as his father helped him put his coat on, but now he feels more awake than he ever has in his life.
He wanders a few steps forward, his breath starting to come out in white puffs as he reaches the edge of the warming charm. His father pulls him back with a light chuckle. Sirius turns back to him in surprise. He’s never heard his father laugh before, but now the hard lines of his father’s face have softened; even his mother beside him has a soft smile. Regulus sits in her lap, also reaching towards the lights.
“The night sky calls to you doesn’t it?” His father asks. Sirius nods turning back to the dancing lights. “That’s good, it was said that the first witches and wizards were fallen stars. They landed on the earth and couldn’t find their way home, so they took the same shape as the muggles so that they wouldn’t be hunted. As the generations passed many of the descendants of the fallen stars forgot they had ever been stars, began believing they were the same thing as muggles, but not the Blacks. Never forget who you are, or that you belong among the stars high above the earth.”
Sirius nods again absently, it’s hard to focus on anything his father is saying when the most beautiful thing in all the world is dancing over their heads. He’d like to live in the night sky he thinks, though it might be a bit lonely. After a few more minutes his mother takes Regulus inside and his father tries to pick Sirius up but he squirms away, pleading for just a few more minutes. His father indulges him for once and Sirius drinks in the night sky for as long as he can, fighting his eyelids that are growing heavier and heavier.
Bright light trickles through the window as Sirius blinks himself awake. He feels a stab of disappointment, he didn’t mean to fall asleep, they’re leaving today and he won’t get another chance to see the northern lights. He throws the blankets off of himself churlishly and pouts until he notices a ring of blue and green around his left ankle, a soulmark. It’s not very defined yet, but Sirius thinks it’s perfect as he looks at the indistinct curves. It reminds him of the northern lights and suddenly it doesn’t matter that Sirius fell asleep, he can take a piece of the northern lights home with him. His first gift from his soulmate and they haven’t even met yet. Sirius grins.
..*..
At first Severus thinks that the smudges of green and blue around his ankle are some sort of strange bruise. It looks like someone has wrapped their hand around his ankle and refused to let go. He rubs at it absently, but it doesn’t hurt the way bruises usually do.
After a week it hasn’t faded the way a bruise should, though the colors have been subtly shifting from green to blue to purple and back. He should probably tell mum, but she’s been so tired lately.
Severus learns about soulmarks a few months later, when he starts at muggle school. The Ms. Williams had kindly explained that as they grew older marks would begin appearing on their bodies; they would begin as indistinct blobs that shifted in shape and color. As they grew and matured their soulmarks would become more defined until they reached their final form when he and his soulmate found true understanding with each other. After the shape of the bond settled, the colors rarely changed, only if there was some fundamental change in the nature of the relationship. People hid their soulmarks until they were fully formed, it was considered bad luck to let someone who wasn’t their soulmate see an immature mark.
Most soulmates had a positive relationship, becoming lifelong friends or lovers, but some soulmates had a poisoned relationship and their marks would reflect that, losing all color and fading to black when the relationship could not be repaired. Of course not everyone had a soulmark Ms. Williams had told them sadly, but it would be better to have no soulmate than a poisoned bond. But poisoned bonds were rare, much rarer than people with no soulmark at all, so they shouldn’t be too worried.
He carefully fills out the worksheet explaining what the different colors were thought to mean. No one was completely sure, of course, soulmarks would often appear before the soulmates even met and would shift colors before there was any relationship to go through changes. Brown meant stability, but could also mean complacency. Bright green for youth and learning, most soulmarks had some bright green when they were just starting out but in a fully matured soulmark it was a sign of immaturity and misunderstanding. Dark green for maturity and understanding. Sky blue for hope and dark blue for peace. Lavender for a gentle, nurturing relationship, deep purple for a relationship that drove both parties to be ambitious. Bright red meant passion, romance and joy, dark reds meant a bond filled with conflict. Bright orange for a warm relationship, burnt orange for worry, yellow meant there was some sort of deception or insecurity in the relationship. White was usually found in soulmates with a platonic bond.
Severus shivers as he reads the final colors, gray meant that the soulmates brought out the worst in each other, a relationship that was meant to give the pair strength had instead started to rot and drained away their energy and happiness. Black for a rejected bond and a hatred so deep it could never be mended.
When he leaves school for the day a girl with dark brown braids and a pristine white shirt looks at him and loudly tells her friends she if that weirdo was her soulmate she wouldn’t mind her mark turning to gray if she could stay away from him. That she hopes he doesn’t have a soulmate because they’d obviously have to reject him unless they were as gross and stinky as him.
Severus runs home, dashing up the stairs and rips down his sock to look at his mark in the privacy of his bedroom. It’s mostly a light blue today with threads of white, his fingers trace the gentle waves as he searches for reassurance. Sky blue means hope, Severus is hoping to find his soulmate and his soulmate is probably hoping to find Severus too.
His soulmate won’t think he’s weird, can’t think he’s weird. They’ll probably have magic too and Mum always says that people with magic understand each other better. The blue waves of the mark remind him of the pictures of the sea that he’s seen. Severus has always wanted to go to the sea and watch the waves, maybe his soulmate would like that too.
..*..
“—and nothing from the Picquerys either. Which rules out anyone suitable from the Americas. I’m starting to worry about the nature of Sirius’ connection,” His mother’s sharp voice drifts up from the parlor. Sirius pauses on the stairs, he was going to sneak down to the kitchen and sneak some of the leftover chocolate mousse Kreacher had made for dessert that night but this seems more important.
“He’s young yet, sometimes soulmarks manifest at different times… and if it’s someone less than suitable he doesn’t have to marry them,” his father sighs. Mother and father were overjoyed when his soulmark appeared… at first. As the weeks drag on and none of the other families they had made inquiries to had a child with a recently acquired soulmark on their ankle, their joy had turned to worry.
“We could allow him to maintain a discrete relationship with a half blood I suppose. As long as he knows he cannot marry them. But if it’s a mudblood? Or Merlin forbid, a muggle? He’s such a willful child, I worry what ideas someone of the lower orders could put in his head. Soulmates leave all of us vulnerable and Sirius already thinks he knows better than us,” Mother rambles. Sirius feels uneasy, he knows that muggles steal magic sometimes and that’s what causes squibs, but surely if someone was his soulmate
“It won’t come to that,” Father says. Sirius can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, the way he always does when he thinks mother is being tiresome.
“You know it could,” Mother’s voice seems fragile suddenly, silence falls for a few seconds and sweat prickles at the back of Sirius’ neck.
“Your father did what needed to be done,” His father’s voice is gentle now.
“And he hated us all for it,” his mother pauses then continues so softly Sirius barely hears it, “it’s said that rejecting a bond is like killing a part of yourself.”
Sirius slips up the stairs his heart pounding. He isn’t hungry anymore. Sirius traces his soulmark in the darkness of his room, wonders what color it is now and shivers. Soulmates were supposed to be a good thing, a blessing from fate. His Grandfather’s soulmate must’ve been really evil for him to reject them... but the way mother talked about his bond makes him uneasy. It almost sounds like they might try and make him reject his soulmate if they're a muggle or mud blood, even if they're a nice muggle or mudblood. Sirius doesn't want his mark to turn all black and depressing, to turn away from the person fate decided he should love.
..*..
Severus has a friend now, and not just any friend, a friend with magic. Lily actually likes to talk with him and sometimes she even brings her notebook and color pencils to the park so they can draw together. Her parents always pack her too much for lunch, so she gives Severus half of her sandwich and the carrot sticks she doesn’t like. She doesn’t even mind that all of his clothes are hand me downs and don’t even fit right.
Lily doesn’t like to wear shoes, and Severus realized that they weren’t soulmates with a stab of disappointment the first time she kicked them off and buried her toes in the grass. Still, he has a best friend now even if they aren’t destined to be the most important people in each other’s lives.
..*..
The boy entering his train compartment has impossibly dark eyes. Sirius finds himself momentarily distracted from whatever his new friend James was saying, as the new boy turns to the crying girl by the window. It’s strange, he’s never seen eyes that dark before, so dark it seems as if he doesn’t have pupils. Sirius can watch the landscape go by in flickers of blues and greens in those wide eyes as the boy pleads with the girl next to him. For some reason Sirius wants those eyes to be fixed on him.
The boy gets into an argument with James about Slytherin and Sirius wrinkles his nose. His whole family’s been in Slytherin, Sirius should go there too but he’s getting so tired of trying to be exactly the boy his parents want. He says as much, but they boy doesn’t even bother looking at him, still looking at James with disdain as James extols the virtues of Gryffindor.
“Well fine then if you’d rather be brawny than brainy,” the boy huffs
Sirius snorts before James can respond. The boy’s eyes finally latch onto him and Sirius feels a small thrill of victory.
“And where do you plan to go seeing that you’re neither?” Sirius smirks. The boy’s eyes quickly dart away while his cheeks turn crimson. The red-headed girl huffs at this and drags the boy, Severus, out of the compartment. Without thinking Sirius sticks out his foot to trip Severus, hooking around his ankle, hoping the boy will turn around and snap at him the way he snapped at James. His heart is thrumming, for some reason he wants the boy to turn around so he can have a proper argument with Sirius, so Sirius can convince him that being in Slytherin would only make him feel suffocated, the way Sirius has been suffocated all his life.
Severus stumbles and James howls with laughter. The red-headed girl gives him a poisonous look, but the boy doesn’t look back, only wraps his arms around himself and Sirius swallows a bit of guilt, turns back to James and tries to ignore his disappointment.
..*..
Severus had really believed that things would be different at Hogwarts, but it turns out he’s just as much of an outcast with wizards as he is with muggles. His dormmates all knew each other for years before starting Hogwarts and none of them seem that interested in being his friend. Lucius, the fifth year prefect, likes him and sometimes lets Severus read the books from the restricted section Lucius gets special permission to check out, so the other boys in Slytherin aren’t mean to him they just… don’t really want to talk to him.
The Gryffindor boys are horrible though, Potter always making snide comments and hexing him when the Professors aren’t looking, Pettigrew laughing and Lupin giving him pitying looks that almost sting worse than the other students laughing. And worst of all, there’s Black, egging Potter and sometimes hexing Severus himself, staring at him across the great hall at mealtimes keeping Severus constantly on edge.
Lily’s still his friend of course, but they only have a few classes together and everyone looks at them weird when they sit together. To make matters worse Lily confided in Severus that her soulmark appeared, it was below her collarbone and Lily said she couldn’t tell what shape it was going to become but it was usually a mix of reds and greens. He should be happy for her, but he’s worried that she’ll like her soulmate better than Severus and then she won’t want to spend time with him anymore.
He hasn’t told anyone about his soulmark, not even Lily. He remembers what his muggle teacher said, about how letting anyone see your mark before it was fully formed was bad luck, well maybe talking about it was bad luck too. Severus needed all the luck he could get, he remembered what the brown-haired girl had said, that no one would ever want to be his soulmate.
His mark itself had begun to change, it still had shades of blue and green in it most days, but now they were interlaced with shades of sickly yellow and dark red, the waves becoming straighter and spikier.
Severus just had to become better, someone people respected, not someone they looked down on. Once he was that better, stronger Severus he could start looking for his soulmate. They wouldn’t reject him then, even if he is ugly.
..*..
Sirius tries to search for his soulmate, but no one has a soulmark in their ankle, most of them being on the arms or chest. He assumes his soulmate must be far away, and wonders what is happening to them to make the colors turn darker and angrier each day.
Still, there are plenty of other things to keep him occupied at Hogwarts, he’s made his own family with the Marauders. Lately James has been talking about the animagus transformation as a way to help Remus out and Sirius thinks that sounds brilliant
..*..
Severus hears the girls swooning over Sirius Black looking for his soulmate. Wishing they were the lucky girl with a mark around their ankle. It makes Severus queasy. Surely his soulmate wouldn’t be Sirius Black, with his cold gray eyes, always looking at Severus like he was the dirt under his shoe.
Surely fate wouldn’t be that cruel, right?
..*..
His soulmark is ugly now. Everything feels ugly now, but Sirius can’t stop himself from thinking about the mess on his ankle. Over the years the gentle blue and green curves had given way to jagged spikes and lines of blood red and gray. Sirius is so angry at everything these days, the thought of going home for the summer and having to hear his parents natter on about all the good Voldemort is doing makes his stomach churn. Maybe his soulmate is a death eater and that’s why their bond looks poisoned.
Thinking that is easier than imagining that he might be the reason for the gray taking over his soul bond. Remus is still barely talking to him after that mess with Snape at the shrieking shack. It used to be fun, getting one over on Snape, but now Snape’s twichier than ever and messing with him just makes Sirius feel more twisted up inside. Maybe Sirius can’t escape the darkness rising up in himself and he’d just consume his soulmate too if they ever met.
..*..
The Dark Lord will win the war, everyone knows it. Severus has a letter from Lucius tucked in the library book he’s pretending to study, reading it over and over again. An invitation to Malfoy Manor over the Christmas holidays. Lucius says it will be a chance for Severus to make connections and to show his skills in potions and “defense against the dark arts”. Severus knows who he’ll be introduced to there and, if he does well, what he’ll be offered when he graduates next spring.
Severus purses his lips. He could say no, of course, could disappoint Lucius, the only useful connection he’s managed to make and the friend he’s managed to keep. He could get a job at a low level apothecary; he could hope the war doesn’t him while he stays poor and spends his whole life rotting away, just as sad and pathetic as everyone believes him to be.
Or he could give himself the chance to become someone powerful, to help shape a new world. Lily’s angry and disappointed face appears in his mind and he brushes it aside. She made her choice too, Severus bitterly thinks of the matching red lilies Lily and Potter now show off to the whole world. It’s time for Severus to start looking out for himself. This was all inevitable really.
..*..
There’s a pounding in Sirius’ head and a queasiness in his stomach that the hangover cure couldn’t quite drive away. The train gently sways back and forth and Sirius leans against the wall, staring at the dark wood of the bathroom stall door. They have to be nearly to London by now. He should stop hiding in the bathroom like a child.
Seven years has gone by so fast.
Sirius should be excited, he was excited last night. They’re grown now, ready to join the fight to shape their own lives. Well, all of them except Peter who had realized his soulmate was Bertha Jorkins of all people and had agreed to move to America with her so she could avoid the war. Ridiculous. She wasn’t even a muggleborn.
Still, Sirius, James, Lily and Remus were off to join the Order, to turn the tide of the war. Things aren’t looking great for the Order at the moment, but there’s no time for fear. They’ll prevail in the end, justice has to—
Someone opens the door to the stall next to Sirius, Sirius can see his feet in the gap between the stall wall and the floor, watches with a detached disinterest as he unceremoniously dumps his robes on the ground, preparing to change into muggle clothes, then kicks his shoes and socks off and—
There it is, the soulmark Sirius has tried so hard not to think of these past few years, the spikes of dark red and gray stark against the pale skin of that student’s ankle. Sirius is temporarily stunned. He’s been so close this whole time. His soulmate slips into a pair of worn jeans before exiting the stall. Sirius distantly hears the water running, then shutting off and—shit he’s going to leave and Sirius won’t know how to find him.
Sirius roughly shoves open the stall door, it slams against the wall with a cracking sound like a misfired curse, only to see a startled Severus Snape. Snape’s shocked expression doesn’t last long, quickly curdling into a resigned hatred. His eyes are a moonless, starless night, looking straight through Sirius.
Sirius opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Severus’ jaw clenches and he resolutely shoves past Sirius. Sirius’ soulmate exits the bathroom, leaving only a ringing silence behind. Sirius promptly vomits into the sink.
There’s no repairing this. There’s no starting fresh. Whatever could have been between them has degraded over the years with every insult, with every duel, with—with Sirius luring Snape to the shrieking shack during the full moon. Sirius isn’t even sure he would want to repair it. Everyone knows Snape is joining the death eaters, that he’s wanted to for years.
If Snape knows they’re soulmates he might try to use it against Sirius. Sirius can’t risk that, not when he’s going to join the Order. Maybe there was a time when their mark could have meant something good, but that was a long time ago. Better to let the bond stay faded.
..*..
The Dark Lord is going to win the war and he’s going to do it by killing Lily. The only person who had ever cared for Severus, the only person that had tried to protect him until he pushed her away. Joining the Dark Lord may have felt inevitable, but betraying him feels even more so.
..*..
Years have passed since the war began and Sirius was really starting to think of himself as a veteran. The most embarrassing part of being captured is that Sirius doesn’t even remember it happening. He’d been sent to meet with one of the Order’s lower ranking contacts with the death eaters at a bar. Had one drink while he waited, which he’d discretely tested for poison. It seemed as if he’d simply blinked and been apparated into the dungeon, mouth dry and head pounding. Voldemort himself stared down at Sirius as he opened his eyes.
“I believe you have some information I’ve been looking for Mr. Black, information that only you can give me,” Voldemort said silkily.
“Go to hell,” Sirius spat, his favorite muggle expression that he had picked up from Lily, but Voldemort only chuckled.
“You are the Potter’s secret keeper, so you must give me their location willingly, but let it not be said that Lord Voldemort is ungenerous. Name your price and if it is within reason I shall grant it,” the Dark Lord gives him a thin lipped smile. Sirius remained silent, glaring.
“I’ll give you the night to think about it, but be aware if you refuse my offer your next day here will not be quite so pleasant.
There are no windows in his cell, no way for Sirius to track the hours passing except his own breathing. He wonders whether Snape really did end up joining the death eaters. Whether his soulmate is somewhere in the floors above, glad that Sirius has been captured, giddy at the prospect of James Potter and his son being killed. Or did Severus decide to run at the last minute, gone somewhere far away to escape the war entirely, the way Peter did. Sirius hopes he ran. He wonders whether Snape ever suspected they were soulmates. Maybe it would’ve made Snape hate him more, after everything that happened between them. Sirius shakes his head clearing the maudlin thoughts away. They aren’t doing him any good and he needs his wits about him tonight.
Sirius needs to find a way to escape. They took his wand obviously. The bars of the cells are spaced tightly together, too tightly for padfoot to fit through. Then there’s the guard at the door, who Sirius probably couldn’t take down without a wand. Still, as he looks around his cell he doesn’t see any better ideas.
Sirius is debating the merits of just trying to grab the guard through the bars of the cells, choke him out and steal his wand, when the guard collapses with a thump. A hooded figure stands in the hall, wand raised. The figure puts a finger to their lips gesturing for Sirius to stay silent as he takes the key and unlocks the door. Something about the way the figure moves seems familiar, they must be another order member. Sirius steps through the unlocked door without hesitation. He takes the wand from his fallen guard and recognizes it as Mulciber’s. He’d never liked the bastard, but there was something a bit sad about how half of his classmates were all trying to kill each other.
The hooded figure gestures at Sirius to follow him and Sirius does, down the corridor and to a secret passage, going up into the stairway. They enter a grand ballroom, a grand familiar ballroom and Sirius freezes. This could change everything.
“Wait,” he whispers as the figure tugs at his arm, “this is the Lestrange mansion.”
The figure hesitates then nods.
“There’s something I need to find while I’m here. A cup that once belonged to Helga Hufflepuff. Bellatrix is rumored to have it now. Do you know where it is?” The figure just tugs on Sirius’ arm again.
“Please, I know it sounds crazy but this cup could turn the tide of the war,” Sirius pleaded. The cup was the last item in a series that Dumbledore had had Sirius and a handful of other trusted order Members hunt down, mostly items belonging to the former founders of Hogwarts. Dumbledore said these items could make Voldemort vulnerable again.
“There’s no way to get to it,” the figure said with a clearly affected rasp, but beneath it… that voice.
“Snape!?” Sirius blurted.
“Quiet Black, do you want to wake the whole castle?” Snape snaps, letting the hood drop back to reveal his face. He looks more gaunt than Sirius ever remembers seeing him, with dark circles under his eyes.
“You—you came for me? You know that we’re soulmates?” Sirius lowers his voice back to a whisper, but he doesn’t try to keep the astonishment
“I—what?”
“Why else would you come for me? All this time I thought you didn’t know,”
“I’m here on Dumbledore’s orders and for no other reason. I hope that whatever the Dark Lord has done to you hasn’t addled your mind—at least not any worse than it was before,” Snape whispers sharply.
“Snape—Severus wait,” Sirius is the one tugging on Snape’s arm now.
“My orders were to get you out of here safely. I don’t have time for some nonsense fairy tale. Even if we are soulmates that doesn’t change anything,” Severus’ voice is cold and the words twist in Sirius’ stomach like a knife
“Dumbledore needs the cup to defeat the Dark Lord. If it’s here I can’t leave without trying to get it,” Sirius explains. Severus takes a breath
“It’s in the library, but—“ he says sharply as Sirius perks up, “they’ve put a 100 year sleeping curse on it, anyone who tries to interact with the object directly or indirectly magically or otherwise will be affected.”
“Oh,” Sirius says
“Yes, oh. I’ve been trying to think of a way around it for weeks
“Wait… the 100 year sleeping curse only affects humans right? There was that insane wizard, Ulthred the Unknownable or something who put a solid gold collar on his barn cats then put the 100 year sleeping curse on the collar to deter thieves. The curse didn’t hurt the cats,” Sirius rambles. Snape nods thoughtfully for a second.
“It’s a good thought but unless you have a trained pet raven up your sleeve I don’t see how that helps us toni—“
“Oh I’ve got something better than that,” Sirius smirks, shifting into Padfoot effortlessly. Severus covers his mouth to stop himself from shouting in surprise.
Twenty minutes later a man and a dog with a jewel encrusted cup in his mouth sneak into the woods surrounding the Lestrange Manor. The man grabs the dog by the scruff of its neck and apostates then both away.
..*..
Severus is caught in the end, of course he is. The Dark Lord had called them all back to his side, paranoia growing once he discovered the missing cup. The Dark Lord ripped through all of the minds of his followers like a scythe through a field of wheat.
Severus had managed to keep his true motivations hidden during the first onslaught against his mind, showing the Dark Lord only his bitterness and lust for power. Assuring him that he had been in bed at Malfoy Manor miles away when Sirius Black had escaped with the cup. But something had slipped, some flash in his mind had given away his true motivations.
Before Severus could even register what was happening, he was on the floor twitching in agony, then being dragged down to the dungeons. Put in the very same cell he’d helped Sirius to escape from days earlier. He could only hope the Dark Lord’s wrath meant that the cup hadn’t been recovered, that Sirius hadn’t been recaptured. The interrogation had been agonizing. Severus and his dormmates used to practice the cruciatus on each other in seventh year but it was nothing compared to this.
Severus had tried to protect the secrets in his fraying mind, but eventually Voldemort had caught hold of the memory of Kreacher giving Severus Slytherin’s locket. The Dark Lord had screamed in anger and his fury had ripped through Severus’ mind with an unimaginable agony. At some point the pain stops and the ringing on his ears fades enough that Severus can hear the world around.
“—take him apart now my Lord? We could return the traitor to Dumbledore piece by piece.” A woman’s sharp voice pierces through the haze.
“Not yet. That boy has a treasure trove of Dumbledore’s secrets floating around in his head and I need his mind intact enough to find them.”
“Very well, my Lord,” the woman’s voice simpers.
A short time later hands roughly tilt his head back and pour a potion down his throat. The agony fades and Severus floats now, his body feels far away and his mind is hazy. He’s alone; he’s not sure whether it’s been minutes or days or hours but it doesn’t really matter. The pain will be coming back for him, somehow he knows next time the pain will consume him until there’s nothing left.
A small detached part of Severus thinks about the life he won’t get to live anymore, wonders whether the red-haired woman would ever be able to forgive him, remembers the warmth of a bubbling caldron and the joy he would feel as the colors and scents changed, ruminates on the dark-haired man with piercing gray eyes. Would there have been any hope for a future or would they only have torn each other apart again?
Another short eternity later Severus hears the door to his cell creak open. There are hands at his shoulder shaking him. A new voice begging him to open his eyes, but it had to be a trick. As soon as they knew Severus could still feel there would be more pain. The arms pick him up to carry him… somewhere. Severus lets himself fade back into the blackness.
..*..
Severus’ brow furrows as he struggles to wake and Sirius squeezes his hand. Those dark eyes blink themselves open. The healers had told Sirius they expected Severus to fully recover, but a part of Sirius worried that he would never wake again. Sirius lifts Severus’ hand to his mouth, peppering it with kisses. Severus’ hand twitches in his and for a moment Sirius is afraid Severus will pull it away but he doesn’t.
“What?” Severus croaks, his brow is still furrowed and Sirius is tempted to press a kiss to it as well, but he doesn’t want to push things.
“We won, it’s over Severus,” Sirius grins.
“How—Lily—is she—“ Severus cuts himself off, too afraid to even speak the words.
“She’s fine. She and James and Harry are all fine,” Sirius reassures him, running his thumb along the back of Severus’ hand. Severus continues to look at him with confusion and a desperate hope. Sirius thinks to explain what happened but Severus’ eyes are already beginning to droop. There will be time for that later.
..*..
Severus stays with Sirius, even after his recovery. He’s not entirely certain why. Certainly the prospect of returning to Spinner’s end after everything that’s happened is unbearable. Lily had offered to let him stay with her, but somehow the prospect of living with Potter, even if Lily was there, seemed far worse than staying with Sirius alone.
Sirius is his soulmate, but Severus still isn’t sure what that means, what he wants it to mean. They’ve known each other since they were children, but in many ways they still don’t know each other at all. Severus spends most of his time curled up on the couch reading, watching as Sirius energetic flits in and out of rooms, leaving the house to meet with friends Severus has no interest in seeing, but always bringing a little gift for Severus back.
Severus has taken to lining them on the windowsill in the guest bedroom where he sleeps. A chess piece stolen from Dumbledore’s set. A pretty rock from Hyde Park. A keychain from a muggle bank. A guitar pick. A book about dog training.
Severus isn’t sure what they mean. Sirius is likely aware that Severus won’t accept anything too big from him, free lodgings notwithstanding. Maybe it’s an attempt to include Severus in Sirius’ world, a world Severus has largely withdrawn from. He’s seen Lily a few times, but he’s mostly hidden himself away since the war ended, worried what people will think of his status as a pardoned death eater. But maybe with Sirius on his side he doesn’t have to hide away forever.
..*..
“I was thinking of running to the chippy for dinner. We could eat there or I could bring something back for you,” by this point Sirius knows Severus won’t say yes, content to hole up with his books. Severus has been slowly opening up to Sirius, so Sirius has been reluctant to press the issue too hard.
“We could eat there I guess,” Severus doesn’t look up from his book, hair falling into his face.
“Yeah?”
“Why not?” Severus shrugs with a sort of artificial casualness and Sirius grins.
..*..
“I want to take you somewhere,” Sirius blurts out one night as they sit together on the couch. They’d bought a television one night when Sirius had dragged him out to a muggle electronics store. Now they’re watching some ridiculous movie about King Arthur. Sirius had put his arm around Severus, was stroking his hair and Severus had let him even though the movie wasn’t romantic at all really.
“Not an arcade again I hope, it took you hours to win that ridiculous bear that you wanted,” Severus sighs. The bear was too big for his windowsill so now it sits on top of his dresser.
“No, somewhere a bit further than that,” Sirius
“You want to tell me where?”
“I’d like it to be a surprise if you don’t mind,” Sirius bites his lip. Severus thinks it over for a second.
“Alright.” Severus can’t hold back a little smile as Sirius kisses his cheek.
..*..
The northern lights are just as beautiful as Sirius remembered them. Sirius and Severus lay side by side with charms to protect them from the bitter cold of the winter’s night. Severus’ face is full of wonder as he looks towards the night sky.
“I was here, watching the lights, when my soulmark first appeared. I used to think that that our soul mark was a piece of the Aurora Borealis, that fate had given us,”
“I used to think it was like the ocean,” Severus glances towards his ankle absently. Their mark hasn’t quite settled yet but it’s resolving into an intricate pattern of interlocking lines, full of graceful swoops and sharp points. The lines still don’t seem to have quite figured out how they fit together and Sirius thinks it will take a few more months for the final pattern to take shape.
The colors have slowly seeped back in as well, the gray and dark red had first been joined by streaks of blue, then forest green, then a deep dark purple. By now almost all the gray has faded out.
“It did used to look like waves a bit,” Sirius agrees, thinking of the curves of blue and sea foam green when the mark had first formed.
“The lights really are stunning,” Severus murmurs
“I told you they were,” Sirius props himself up on his elbow, looking down at Severus.
“You’re not even looking at them,” Severus complains but his lips twitch upward anyway.
“I don’t need to. I can see the entire night sky reflected in your eyes, you know,” Sirius cradles Severus’ face, tracing his thumb along his cheekbone, feeling the heat rise in it as Severus flushes. Sirius leans down and kisses him gently.
He can’t wait for them to grow even more intertwined in the future.