Chapter Text
Ring ring! Ring ring!
Zenitsu's alarm blared, reading the usual 6:30. The alarm made to look like a tiger, gifted to him awhile ago, that he kept. Which now he thought looked stupid and childish.
He hit the small clock over and over until it stopped blaring in his sensitive ears. He laid in bed though, not getting up, looking to side, his entire room in veiw, posters torn off the walls, a trashcan filled way past the brim, a tall mirror which was now covered, his closet, and his uniform hung up on the door.
His dull eyes taking in the scenery.
"Stupid."
He thought to himself. Wish the day could just end now, he wouldn't need to go to school, and he could just bedrot until the end of time. But..
There was a time.
A time he used to get up and get dressed quickly and cheerfully, thinking of ways to say good morning to his gramps, to his older brother kaigaku, things to talk about while eating breakfast, breakfast he made with cute faces or hearts on it. Always bickering with kaigaku whenever he teased him, while whining, being loud.
Now, it was the opposite. He never ate breakfast, didn't talk at the table anymore, didn't even reply when kaigaku said something snarky. It felt quiet, a house that used to get multiple noise complaints had been silent ever since zenitsu started high school, going to the same as his brother.
The first day of high school, he remembered being excited, new people, still with most his friends minus Nezuko, Muichiro and Yuichiro.
He remembered-
"Your gonna make us late if you keep laying there zenitsu." Kaigaku's voice cut through the air, as much as it didn't seem, he was worried for his brother. Maybe it was a phase or something but he didn't like it at all.
Zenitsu sat up in bed, barley looking up as he nodded.
He felt so tired, his eyes burned, he looked and felt miserable. Kaigaku's gaze lingered on him a bit too long before he switched the light switch on turning around.
"Hurry up" he closed the door behind him. Zenitsu turned, he feet touching the ground, his looked at himself, his childish pajamas he wore, yellow with lightning bolts all over them. His socks white with a cartoon tiger on it. He looked at himself. And stood up, maybe he should just..leave the childish things behind.
He got dressed in his uniform, long sleeved now, he didn't wear the short sleeve one anymore, for reasons he didn't tell anyone at all, not even Tanjiro his bestest friend.
He looked back at the pajamas he took off, the socks too, he picked them up, opening his closet, clutter, dirty clothes everywhere, all too childish now. He threw them in, sliding the closet shut. Then he just sat on his bed, feeling shitty.
"I wish this could all end, I wish I could..." His thoughts trailed..when was he such a sulky person?
________
Stepping downstairs he saw Kaigaku and his gramps eating breakfast, a bowl and spot saved for him once again, but he was past, grabbing his school bag, leaving both his gramps and kaigaku to look at him.
"I don't eat breakfast anymore so...you guys should stop making me some.." his voice sounded dull and empty, not the usual cheerfulness they missed.
.
.
.
A long uncomfortable silence fell over as zenitsu picked up his phone, 100+ notifications from his group chat, all friends from middle school, messages he didn't bother to check anymore, infact he hadn't really looked in it for months. He almost did though.
"They don't want me texting them anyways.." he thought shutting off his phone.
Kaigaku finished breakfast and grabbed his bag and shoes, ready to go.
"Bye gramps" he said as usual walking out the door, but zenitsu didn't even bother to say goodbye.
The door shut with a click, Jigorou sighed. What was up with his boy, he was such a shell of his former self, he glanced over at the kitchen trashcan, a ripped calendar, anything after October 13th was crossed and the rest of the months ripped off, October 13th being circled in red with "The day" written next to it.
He glanced at the calendar on the wall.
October 5th.
_____________
The walk to school was weirdly quiet, usually he'd hear zenitsu whining and complaining about something, especially back when in 8th grade, he'd always hear about how his teachers definitely hated him, how many cute girls he saw, what they did in homeroom and so on.
But now just uncomfortable silence, kaigaku glanced at zenitsu. Unable to understand what was wrong with him, he wondered if he was just sad..but then he'd hear him crying loudly about whatever it was, and being annoying about it. But it was just silence, he eyes, his yellow eyes that used to shine bright, now looked duller, droopier, he had eyebags, and he looked dead,skinner maybe too.
He wanted to give him advice, but about what? He didn't even understand what the hell was wrong. Sure freshman year is weird sometimes but, he had all these friends and zenitsu, while he hated to admit was pretty damn smart. He had good grades, he had friends, what was up with him?
________
The arrival to school was the same, they parted ways going to different buildings, zenitsu walked in the school, kids in groups chattering at lockers, everyone smiling and giggling, but he picked up the few words muffled by all the voices, his hearing was wide ranged and weird, back then he loved it, made him feel cool, but now all he wanted was to be deaf.
"Look at his face.."
"He looks ugly as always.!"
"Atleast he finally shut up! Such a crybaby"
"Creep"
He didn't show, but as usual the words stung, they always did. He just never mentioned it to anyone.
"MONITSU!" a loud voice called, inosuke running towards him, Tanjiro, Aoi, Kanao, and gemya trailing behind, all talking.
"MONITSU! tell tonpachiro I can definitely jump from the 3rd story window!!?" He said, his voice booming loud. Zenitsu covered his ears, looking at him tired.
The look he gave made inosuke pause, for some reason zenitsu hasn't been all bark with him like he used to.
"Sure.." he mumbled quietly, turning back to his locker placing his shoes in, inosuke looked a him, frustrated .
"Morning zenitsu!" Tanjiro's kind voice called, with Aoi and genya also saying morning, and Kanao a small nod. He didn't say nothing. They all stared at him, concerned
"Uhh zenitsu you look more tired than usual today huh? Stay up playing games..?" Aoi asked, trying to keep her tone light.
No reply
It felt weird, he always talked about new games and an anime he was watching but now, nothing.
"Well..uh we have a test in math don't we? I'm so done guys..I forgot to study.." genya said, rubbing the back of his neck
"Really? Wow I almost forgot!" Tanjiro said kind as ever.
The the words seemed to fade as zenitsu found himself lost in thought.
"Would they care..if I was even gone..would they notice..would anyone notice."
He clenched his hands at his side, turning away from the group walking,.leaving them all stunned, confused, and slightly concerned, even inosuke.
"Monitsu seems sad." Inosuke said,.picking his nose
"Yeah..maybe he's just having a bad start? Maybe its all the work that's killing him or something.." Aoi said, hoping for the best.
Kanao chipped in
"I simply thinks he's just depressed."
Silence fell over the group, a suggestion they hoped for their safety, that it was a lie.