Chapter Text
Soap didn’t know why he waited to test. He really shouldn’t have, but to be fair, all he expected was to go in, take the test, and come out fine. Nothing wrong, just a little scare. He walked into the bathroom yawning.
Ghost had left for a solo mission early that morning. Soap had gotten up with him, made him tea and breakfast, then kissed him goodbye for the next week.
After Ghost was gone, he slept a few more hours. He didn’t tell Ghost he’d picked up the test on their latest grocery run. Again, he just expected it to be a little scare.
He padded into the bathroom, taking the test out of its container. He read the instructions, mostly just to get the wait time, and went to piss. He placed the cap on it and washed his hands, then set a timer for 10 minutes while he went to fold laundry. He’d almost forgotten about it by the time his phone buzzed loudly. He walked back into the bathroom, picking the test up.
Oh, how silly he felt when the word “pregnant” shone up at him. It was fine… maybe just a faulty test. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself as he cracked open two more boxes, one the same brand as the first, the other a different one. Best of three, yeah?
Soap returned to folding laundry, much more nervous. He could barely focus, his palms sweaty. The alarm couldn’t ring fast enough, and when it did, he was already almost in the bathroom.
Both tests read completely positive, the word “pregnant” as confident as the last, and the two lines of the other one as bold as could be. Soap didn’t know what to do. He looked at the tests, himself, the tests again…
He had a panic attack. Curled up on the bathroom floor he sobbed and struggled to suck in a full breath. He was undoubtedly pregnant. He sobbed on the ground for longer than he’d like to admit, sweating and heaving in breaths. Their service dog, Bingo, pawed into the bathroom from her comfortable bed. Bingo was a trained PTSD-service dog, who helped both Ghost and Soap with their PTSD and anxiety. Mia accompanied him on the ground, aiding him in calming down.
“How am I gonna tell him, Bingo? What’ll I do…?” Soap hiccuped, petting the dog. She had no answers, just comfort.
Eventually, he was able to get up, and tried to fall asleep, as if it were all a dream. Mia followed him, lying at his legs and watching quietly. He fell into a fitful sleep, waking up late in the afternoon. Soap was able to get some things done once he convinced himself it was a dream. It worked until he threw up out of nowhere in the kitchen sink. After cleaning it up, he couldn’t deny it. He was pregnant. Pregnant and alone.
…
He cried multiple times throughout the week, terrified of what would happen when Ghost returned. He was worried that his husband would be upset, that he would be mad even. It was probably on him for deciding he didn’t like condoms, and went on a birth control pill he often forgot to take. The whole pregnancy was his fault. Ghost might be mad at him that he didn’t do anything but cry and panic about it while he was gone. Ghost might be mad that he secretly wanted to keep it, but was terrified of what that meant.
By the end of the week, he was so scared of Ghost’s return that he hid in their bed and sobbed. He laid on Ghost’s side. Bingo did her best, bringing over comfort items such as Ghost’s jacket, which Soap gladly got lost in. He sobbed, surrounded by the scent of his husband. He wondered if it would be the last time he smelled it. When he still couldn’t calm, Bingo tried to provide pressure, but Soap curled up tighter. All she could do was lay beside him.
Soap was sobbing so hard he didn’t hear the door open. Bingo did, leaping off the bed and running into the hall. Soap felt even more abandoned.
…
Ghost didn’t know what was going on as he saw Bingo rush downstairs to him. He unlaced his boots, dropping his bag beside him. She barked, trying to lead him down the hall to their bedroom. Soap must’ve been having an attack of some sort. He followed her to their room, pushing the door open.
He didn’t expect to see his husband curled up on his side of the bed, in one of his zip ups, sobbing his eyes out. Ghost dropped everything, launching into bed beside him. Soap yelled out, startled, but once he saw his husband’s balaclava, he just sobbed again.
“Johnny-“
“Off.” Soap demanded, and Ghost knew there was no room to argue. He pulled the mask off, tossing it away.
“Johnny, what’s going on?” Soap looked up, trying to tell him, but instead, a sob ripped out of his throat, and he just buried his face into his husband’s chest. Possibly for the last time.
Ghost held him tightly, rubbing his back. Bingo laid at the foot of the bed on high alert. After a few long minutes of Ghost holding him, Soap worked up enough courage to reach over to the bedside table. He’d put a test there in hopes Ghost would see it and he wouldn’t have to say a word.
“You’re pregnant?” Ghost exclaimed, taking the test. Soap let out a loud sob, trembling as he curled up again, murmuring a string of apologies. Ghost put the test carefully down, a few feet away on the duvet cover.
“Johnny… Why on earth are you sorry?” Ghost whispered, cupping his cheeks to wipe tears away with the pad of his thumb. “This is great news!”
“It-“ Soap hiccuped. “It is?”
“Of course, love. If you want to keep it- that is. You can do either. I want this to be your decision-“
“I want it.” Soap sobbed, gripping Ghost’s shirt desperately.
“Alright then, Johnny. This is wonderful.” He said, letting his husband ride out the emotions he was feeling. He let Soap sob until he couldn’t find more tears to shed. “When did you find out?”
“The morning you left…” Soap wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand, which was carefully grabbed by Ghost so he could wipe the tears away more gently.
“Why didn’t you call me?” He asked, though Soap didn’t take it right, getting worked up again.
“I don’t know-“ He said, his breath speeding.
“Love, no, it’s alright. I’m not upset. I just wanted to know. I hate the idea of you suffering all by yourself and not being able to tell me. Have you been sick? Are you drinking enough?” Ghost fussed.
“You’re not upset?” Soap asked, leaving his self-care questions unanswered.
“No, love. Not upset. Not even a little.” Ghost promised.
“I’ve been cryin’ a lot…” Soap mumbled.
“You need water, Johnny. Something tells me you haven’t had enough.” Ghost accused.
“Not really.” Soap admitted.
“Will you be alright if I go fetch you some? I’ll make you tea if you want. Or coffee.” Ghost offered.
“Don’t think I can have coffee anymore.” Soap mumbled. “Water’s fine.” Ghost got up, padding out of the room quickly. Bingo filled the space as he was out. Almost as soon as Ghost left, Soap was struck with the idea of Ghost leaving and this was his way of a quiet escape. Tears worked their way out as he convinced himself of the worst.
Ghost returned less than 5 minutes later with 2 cups of iced water, and his husband was crying again.
“Love…” he hummed, pulling him back into his arms.
“Thought you would leave…” Soap sobbed.
“Love, I won’t leave. I promise. I’m here for you and our baby. Why wouldn’t I be?” Soap couldn’t find an answer to that one. Ghost helped sit him up, handing him the glass of water.
Soap didn’t realize how thirsty he was, draining the water in small sips. His body must’ve used up a lot over the past week.
“Has it been okay? Not too sick?” Ghost asked again.
“A couple times. Mostly just cryin’ a lot, though. Dunno why.” Soap said into the cup.
“Hormones.” Ghost answered and he was probably right. As he held his husband, he noticed him nodding off. Ghost made the bed and grabbed a clean hoodie of his for Soap, his favorite. It was “Riley” across the back in large letters with a “-MacTavish” painted in below it. It had some of the military symbols, but they just used it for pajama.
He made sure Soap was comfortable on Ghost’s side, Bingo right beside him. Ghost took a quick, hot shower and brushed his teeth. By the time he returned, Soap was out cold, even Bingo was asleep. She must have been working a lot, poor Soap. Ghost knew Soap hadn’t had a good sleep since finding out, and was honestly happy to see him drooling all over his pillow. He slid into bed beside him, giving his husband a brief goodnight kiss before turning the light off and drifting off himself.
…
The next morning, Soap couldn’t get up quick enough. He launched out of bed, bolting to the bathroom, barely making it before he began to vomit. Ghost was quick after him, kneeling to rub his back.
“Morning sickness?” Soap nodded. He flushed the toilet and walked to the sink to wash his hands and clean his mouth out. Ghost followed, just making sure that his husband was alright.
He followed Soap to the kitchen, watching him rummage through the cupboard.
“What do you want for breakfast?”
“Usually haven’t been able to stomach it. I’m checking to see if we still have your favorite tea.” Ghost smiled, walking to his husband.
“I’ll handle my tea. Do you want me to make anything? A smoothie? Or still can’t stomach?”
“Can’t really eat before noon or so. Ba…” Soap swallowed uncomfortably. “Stomach doesn’t want it.”
“Don’t want to say baby?” Ghost asked softly.
Soap sighed, looking down to his flat stomach. “Not yet. Not until I go to the doctor.” Ghost shrugged, kissing his cheek.
“Alright then. Stomach can’t handle it.” Bingo walked over, sitting beside Soap. It was how she alerted them that someone had high levels of anxiety. Ghost rubbed his husband’s back, trying to comfort him.
“It’ll be okay.” He promised. Soap rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
“Be right back.” He mumbled. “Don’t wanna cry again.” Ghost gave him some space while he made his tea. By the time he had finished, Soap returned. His eyes were red and puffy, it was clear that his wish hadn’t come true.
Breakfast was quiet while Soap scheduled an appointment.
“We could do it on Wednesday with my doctor or today with a new one…?”
“We should do one today.” Ghost said. He just wanted to help his husband do what he needed to do. He knew the pregnancy made him extremely anxious. If a doctor’s confirmation and guidance helped him, then he wanted that.
“Appointment’s at 1.” Soap said, petting Bingo.
Ghost put an arm around him on the couch after he finished his tea.
“Will you tell me about how you found out?” Ghost requested gently.
“Simon, my mood’s so fragile right now… I might cry again…” Soap admitted.
“That’s alright.” Ghost said. “You can take the time you need. I’m here.” Soap sighed softly.
“I really didn’t think anything of it… I picked it up when we got groceries just in case because my… cycle… was a bit late. Then the morning you left I went back to bed and woke up and took it and did laundry and didn’t care…” Soap began to get choked up. “And when it said pregnant… I took two more… and they said it too.” Tears began to roll down his cheeks again. He didn’t even know why. “I had a panic attack.” He whispered between uneven breaths. “I tried to sleep again… then threw up and couldn’t… not think about it.” He mumbled. “I’ve just been cryin’ and having panic attacks about it. This week has been shit.” He hiccuped. Ghost pulled him closer, kissing the top of his head.
“And you thought I’d be upset?” Soap nodded.
“I used your hoodie before you came back… because I thought it might be… the last time or something…”
“Love, I would never leave you because of something like this. Never even think about it. I’m happy about it.”
“But it’s my fault… I’m so shitty about taking my pills…”
“If anything, it’s my fault for knocking you up, Johnny. This isn’t about faults. Because it’s not a bad thing.” He assured.
Soap cried into his shirt, trying to get a hold over himself. It took a while, but he calmed down, just draped over his husband.
“Sorry. ‘M really emotional.”
“Don’t be sorry, Johnny.” Ghost kissed his head. “Let’s shower before your appointment.”
…
In the shower, Soap leaned against his husband, enjoying the warm water cascading over the two. Ghost began to wash his body, rubbing body wash into his tender muscles.
“Ah-!” He flinched as Ghost’s hands traced over his chest. “Fuck…”
“What’s wrong?”
“I… sore. Nipples really hurt…” he groaned. Ghost was careful with his chest, barely ghosting his hands over them as to not hurt his husband.
“Better get used to this.” Soap groaned. Ghost chuckled, gathering shampoo into his hand to wash his lover’s hair.
…
Bingo was sitting with her head in Soap’s lap as their waited. He was extremely nervous. Ghost knew how nervous he was, holding his hand and stroking it with his thumb gently. He was wearing a black face mask, just a medical one. He figured the clinic wasn’t a place for the balaclava.
“John?” A nurse called him in.
“Hello Mr. Riley-MacTavish,” she said as she shut the door to the small room. “Go ahead and take a seat on the paper.” Soap followed, telling Bingo to sit with Ghost.
“So, we’re here for a first prenatal appointment, yes?”
“Yes.” Soap shifted uncomfortably. The nurse typed into her computer. She confirmed some basic address and pharmacy questions, and then sanitized her hands.
“First thing’s first, we need to get a confirmation that you are really pregnant. We do both urine tests and blood tests. Blood tests are generally quicker and more accurate, but some are more bothered by blood, and we will need to do a separate blood testing later on.”
“I want a blood test.” He requested. The nurse grabbed her vial and injected the needle. She took the blood sample and stood up.
“I’ll run this down to the lab. The OB will be back soon with your results.” She left the room.
Both men sat there for a while, talking, fidgeting, trying to stay calm. It was a new OB, Soap was a bit worried.
Eventually, she walked in with some paperwork, smiling.
“Hello, John. I’m Doctor Erickson, I’ll be standing in for your usual OB today. So, welcome to your first prenatal appointment! Blood tests show that you are pregnant, congratulations!” She smiled, putting gloves on. Soap looked over to Ghost to gauge his response. He felt like he’d been hit in the chest with the weight of the situation. Ghost was smiling softly at him at the confirmation.
“First up, I’ll do a physical exam on you. This is just getting your height, weight, blood pressure, heart rate, and pelvic anatomy.” Soap did all the things she told him to, gathering stats. Afterward, they took more blood for a prenatal panel to see his blood type, immunities, existing infections, Rh factor, and a CBC.
“John, I see you’re fairly nervous.” She pointed out.
“Just… this is unexpected. Doesn’t feel real. Still… I guess.”
“I understand. It’s a common feeling that doesn’t really resolve until you have an ultrasound, which we can order. It’ll help us determine how far along you are.” Soap nodded.
The ultrasound didn’t look like much, but sure enough, the ultrasound tech was able to detect the tiny spot of where the embryo was. “Looks like it’s about 5 weeks along now. We’ll be able to see more and determine a due date around 8 weeks, but for now, that’s your baby.” She smiled. Soap looked up at the screen in awe.
“My baby…” He whispered. It wasn’t much yet, barely a clump of cells, but it was his and Ghost’s. Ghost, who was staring at the screen as if blinking would take it away. They got one printed photo, supposedly it would help Soap acclimate to the idea. After the ultrasound, the doctor set up a prenatal care plan, concerning diet and nutrition, mental health, and birthing education. Soap admittedly didn’t know much about what birth would look like, and the doctor patiently explained generally what would happen.
“TEN centimeters??” Soap exclaimed, tightening his legs unconsciously. “That’s how much I need to be dilated??”
“Yes, there are medications to dull the pain,”
“Fuckin’ hell.” He whispered. “What about working out? It’s kinda part of my job… training and all.” She promised he’d still be able to exercise, but it would need to be modified. She directed him to an app to use for week-by- week workouts for someone who was pregnant.
“The key is to not push it. If you’re tired, you need to rest. If you’re hurting, you need to stop. It’s really difficult to force yourself to take a break.”
“I’ll help.” Ghost spoke up. Dr. Erickson chuckled, nodding.
By the time they were let out, they had a full folder of papers, prints, packets, and pamphlets full of information, as well as an appointment scheduled in 3 weeks. Ghost took the folder while Soap just stared at the print from the ultrasound.
“Hungry?” Ghost asked as they sat into the car. Soap hadn’t been able to tolerate the thought of food before the appointment, and Ghost was starting to worry. “Fucking starving. Stom… Baby turned on the hunger switch.” Soap forced out. Ghost smiled.
“Where would you like?”
“We could pick up subs?” Soap asked hopefully.
“No deli meat.” Ghost chided.
“FUCK!”
They ended up just driving home and Ghost making him a baked potato with well-washed salad. Soap ate it happily. He was in a pretty good mood, which was great, considering earlier. After lunch, Ghost immediately ordered all of the books on the list that the doctor gave them, and followed the blog of another trans man who had carried his baby. He read over all of the pamphlets and packets, getting a head start on his research.
…
“Do you think we’ll hear the heartbeat?” Soap asked as they walked to the clinic. They had promised each other that once the heartbeat was apparent, they could tell people. Only the ones necessary, like Price and the unit, as Soap would have to make the transition from field work to desk work and individual trainings. He already had been, managing to make up enough excuses.
“I hope so.” Ghost admitted.
The ultrasound got started quickly. Soap laid on the bed and got the gel, and the tech began searching. Soap was back with his ob/gyn, and she stood beside the tech. She didn’t have to search long to find it, and the baby was back on screen. It was much bigger this time, definitely in some sort of vaguely human shape. And then it came, a low pulsing that got louder as the tech shifted the wand. The baby’s heartbeat. Ghost recorded a video that he would surely listen to multiple times at home. Soap just sat there in awe, staring at the screen.
“That’s it, Is. That’s it.” Soap whispered. Simon nodded, holding onto his husband’s hand.
They left the clinic with more photos. They would submit a formal report to those who controlled Soap’s work and scheduling, but they wanted to tell the guys.
…
The opportunity presented itself after a training day, when Price offered they go out for drinks. They both knew it was perfect.
They got a table at the bar, it was more quiet than the outright bar part. Everyone got drinks, save for Soap, who got a simple Sprite.
“No drinking tonight, Soap? Wow, this isn’t like you.” Price chuckled.
“I can’t, captain.” Soap smirked.
“Why not?” He asked, confused. Soap looked to Ghost, who reached into his pocket and put the ultrasound photo down on the table for the others to see. Price’s jaw dropped the second he saw it. Gaz took a moment longer before realizing.
“Wha- you- …When-?” Price stumbled over his words.
“I’m 8 weeks.” Soap said, looking away in hopes to hide his blush. “Due June 16th. We said we’d tell you when we heard a heartbeat.” “You got the heartbeat?” Soap pulled his phone out, pulling up the video Ghost had sent him. Price and Gas leaned in to hear the faint heartbeat over the ultrasound from a few days prior. Price sat back, jaw still dropped.
“How’d you find out?” Gas asked.
“Pissed on a stick, you fucking moron.” Soap teased.
“No, goddamnit, I meant how did you think to even test?” Gas asked. “And how’d that go?”
“Got one because I was tired a lot and moody as hell, was also a bit late to bleedin’. I didn’t even really think that it could happen. On the morning Simon left for a mission I tested, came back positive and I tested two more times. I didn’t know how to handle it.” Soap quieted. “Had a panic attack.” He admitted, looking down. “Tried to run from it until morning sickness got me.” Soap was beginning to get choked up again. “Sorry.” He choked out, clearing his throat. “Was so fucking scared the whole week Simon was gone. He found me a total mess. I was so scared.” Soap had to pause, his lip trembling and his eyes watering. “Fuck, sorry. Hormones are making me cry so much.” He said, resting his elbows on the table and burying his face in his hands.
Ghost rubbed his back, watching as his husband tried desperately to hold back his sobs.
“MacTavish,” Price spoke up. “It’s alright. We’re happy for you. Just surprised, is all. We’re your best mates, and that means supporting you and your kid.” He smiled.
“Yeah.” Gaz agreed. Soap nodded into his hands.
“Hormones have been giving him a real ride. This story is hard to tell.” Ghost explained. “He was worried I’d be upset. But I wasn’t, and I’m happy about it.” He said, mostly just to Soap.
“You’ve been great about it.” Soap told Ghost. “You’ve done nothing but read about pregnancy and parenting.”
Price smiled, laughing about the idea of Ghost reading everything he could.
“He’s dealt with my emotional and sick ass so much.” Soap joked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.
Most of the bar talk was about the baby and the future of Soap’s pregnancy, what it meant for his work and life. By the time they all got up to leave, Soap forgot he was ever even nervous.
“Wait, so that’s why you’ve not been doing contact in training?!” Gaz exclaimed as they walked out.
“You absolute dumbass.” Soap laughed at him. Just like normal.
…
Soap and Ghost usually spent Christmas at Soap’s parent’s place. It was usually nice, Soap’s parents had warmed up to Ghost a bit, though Soap was still sure his mother was forcing it. However, the day after they got there was Christmas Eve, and Soap spent most of it in the bathroom upstairs.
Every so often, Ghost would go downstairs to get him some more water. The family would say hello, maybe ask if he was doing alright, and then drop it.
“Is he just sick?” Soap’s mom asked.
“Yeah. I think flu or something.” They’d practiced that bit.
“Does he need anything? Gatorade… coffee?”
“No, he can’t have coffee.” Oh shit.
“Why not?” She asked, confused.
“Uh… he’s trying to quit caffeine. Health benefits and all that.” Ghost lied.
“Oh…. Wow. John quitting caffeine? Wild.” His brother remarked. His sister got up and grabbed some medicine.
“Oh, he-“ Simon began.
“Shush.” She hushed him, walking upstairs with him.
“I think I know what’s going on.” She said plainly once they were upstairs and out of earshot.
“You’ll have to consult him about that.” Ghost said, he had promised not to tell anyone. However, Alma had been in this exact situation last year. It wasn’t hard for her to see through the lies. She followed Ghost to the bathroom, where Soap was leaned against the wall in front of the toilet, scrolling on his phone.
“Hi John.” She put down the meds. “Is this the same as what happened last year?”
“Don’t tell anyone.” Soap begged weakly.
“I won’t, John.” She said softly with a grin. “Take these. They saved me last year.” She handed him the meds. “I know you’re staying in a hotel, but I’ll make the guest room bed for you to get some rest. The kids can share a room with their cousins and we’ll take the couch if anything. I’ll just grab the bassinet.”
“You’re my savior, Alma.” He mumbled.
“How far along?”
“10 weeks.” He groaned.
“Rough. I’ll be back.” She promised.
After the medication, Soap was finally able to hold down some berries, crackers, and water, and then passed out in the bed Alma had made for him.
“Don’t worry about anything. Just make sure he rests and hydrates.” She told Ghost, who nodded obediently.
He slid into bed beside his husband, rubbing his shoulder.
“What do you think it is?” Soap mumbled.
“Hm?”
“A girl or a boy? I think it’s a girl.”
“Haven’t thought about it. I just want it to be healthy.”
“Yeah.” Soap yawned. “Me too.” He said, falling back asleep.
“Hey.” Ghost shuffled lower in the bed. “Stop giving him a hard time.” He said to Soap’s stomach. He felt a little silly, but at the same time, he was talking to his child.
…
Christmas was odd. Soap woke up crying, begging Ghost not to tell his family.
“I don’t want them to know… please don’t tell them… I don’t wanna tell them, Simon… please…” he sobbed.
“Johnny, we don’t have to. I won’t tell them anything, you don’t have to tell them.” Ghost responded, holding his lover.
“I don’t want to… Simon please…”
“Johnny, look at me. We won’t tell them, okay? Only Alma knows. She’s sworn to secrecy.” That seemed to soothe him, as John nodded against his chest.
“Is this hormones?”
“Definitely.” Ghost whispered. “But that’s alright. We don’t need to get up yet.”
“They’re surely waiting on us to open presents.” Soap hiccuped.
“I don’t think so, love. We told them you have the flu. But if they want to wait, let them.” Ghost whispered. Soap hiccuped, reaching for his phone. Ghost grabbed it for him, cuing up the app that showed what the baby looked like at the stage of pregnancy he was in. Soap loved looking at it, it somehow made him feel less like shit.
“It’s the size of a prune.” Ghost pointed out, getting the general size between his fingers and putting it over his abdomen.
“Yikes, love… speaking of hormones…” Soap groaned. “My fuckin’ chest… nipples hurt so bad…”
“Sorry, Johnny.” Ghost said, avoiding touching them. “They’ve got a long way to grow, I’m sure they’re hurting.”
After taking some time to themselves to apply some numbing cream to his aching chest, they headed downstairs. They had waited to give gifts until he got down, and all the kids were practically foaming at the mouth to open their presents.
Presents were dished out, and all that Ghost had gotten him was… receipts?
“Read them.” He smiled.
There were receipts for a bunch of maternity clothes he wanted but refused to buy himself. The next one was a receipt for a pregnancy pillow.
“Simon-!” Soap grinned, kissing his lover’s cheek.
“What is it?” His father asked.
“Just something I’ll be needing.” Soap said, still smiling at his husband.
Another present was brought over to him, again from ghost. Inside was a pack of decaf coffee and a picture frame with a photo of their latest ultrasound and a Polaroid of John at the ultrasound in the corner.
Before he could even say anything, Soap’s lip trembled, and he buried his face against Simon’s shoulder.
“Aw, what was it-“ Soap’s mom began, but one of her grandkids quickly took her attention away. Crisis averted.
After all the gift giving, Soap was starting to not feel well again, heading back upstairs to camp out near the bathroom. Ghost followed him, not particularly wanting to deal with the enormous family.
“I wonder when I’ll actually see a bump. I mean… Ive just been bloated, and apparently it comes later if it’s your first baby. Everything says I should start to show after 12 weeks.” Soap noted as he looked in the mirror.
“Yeah. Maybe enjoy it, there will be a day when you can’t even tie your shoes by yourself.” Ghost chuckled.
“Yeah. You’ll have to do it for me.”
“I will.” Ghost promised. Suddenly, they heard a very loud scream from downstairs, Soap immediately knew it to be his mother’s. The two men rushed downstairs to find her holding up the picture frame Ghost had gotten. Fuck.
“You’re pregnant? That’s why you’ve been so sick?” Ethan exclaimed.
“You didn’t tell me?” His mother pressed through tears. Everyone began chattering with questions. Soap was immediately overwhelmed, tearing up. Alma noticed, stepping up.
“Stop! Stop talking!” She exclaimed, giving Soap room to run away. Ghost anxiously followed. “He wasn’t ready to tell us yet! We weren’t supposed to find out!” She exclaimed. “You should not have gone digging around in boxes that aren’t yours. What’s your deal with John’s life? He would have told us when he was ready. I know he didn’t want us to know while he’s busy thowing up everything we give him. I know he didn’t want to tell YOU,” She pointed at her mom. “Because you’re obsessive and overbearing with him!”
“I am not!” She defended.
“You rummaged around in his Christmas gifts!” Ethan exclaimed.
“No talk about it until he talks about it, all of you, got it?” Alma said sternly. Everyone in the room agreed.
…
“I should’ve thought about it Johnny, I’m sorry.” Ghost apologized, holding his husband.
“She was digging for it!” Soap sobbed. “She’s going to make such a huge deal.. I don’t know what to do… I don’t want her to do anything… she’s going to invite her own help over and be insane in the hospital and demand updates and-“
“Not if we don’t let her, Johnny. You’re in charge. This is your baby. If you want me to go down there and set that boundary, I will.”
“No…. I have to do it. Else she won’t listen.” Soap hiccuped. He was completely right, as much as it sucked to admit. Ghost wanted to do it for him, but he couldn’t.
After calming down, Soap stormed back downstairs.
“Mum, dad, we need to talk.” He said, voice shaking. They followed him to the downstairs guest room.
“I will not let you ruin this.” He said once he knew they were paying attention. “I do not want you texting about it unless I text you first. You are not allowed to invite yourself over, or I will have Simon throw you out of the house. I am sick and tired of you disrespecting me and Simon, I will not let you disrespect my baby. If I ever tell you to stop pushing, you stop. I’m not giving you much room to fuck up. I’m already tired of how you treat Simon. Before you say anything, he is going to be an amazing father to my baby, and I will not take any other input. Your behavior toward him has been unacceptable, and I will not tolerate you digging in my shit again. Do you understand?” He scolded. Soap’s mum seemed to understand the weight of what her son was saying, agreeing and apologizing, but still had something to say. His father agreed as well.
“This is a lot of rules, John. I feel like you’re overreacting-“ His mother began.
“I am setting a boundary. I’ve let you walk on Simon and I for too long. You wouldn’t go through my sibling’s stuff like that. If you keep treating me, my husband, and now my kid unfairly, I won’t spend Christmas with you again.”
“Alright.” She grumbled.
“Good, now send in my siblings and their partners.” Soap said firmly. The two trudged out to send the others in.
“That was good.” Ghost said softly. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.” He sighed. “Thanks for looming behind too. Really set the tone.” The door opened, and all 6 adults poured in, both his siblings and their partners.
“I didn’t want it to get out, but oh well. Alma and Jack know already because I was sick and stole their room last night. It wasn’t you all I was afraid of telling, but I still didn’t want it out. Either way, Mum’s going to be an issue. I set the boundary with her already.” He rattled off the rules that he gave her. “I need you all to help me enforce her. I do not want to see her at the hospital when I have it.”
“Of course, John.” Ethan and Bianca agreed. “She’s overbearing as hell, especially to you.” Everyone in the room voiced their agreement.
“You all, I’m alright with. You aren’t the ones that need a leash.”
“Thanks, John. Congratulations, too.” Lachlan and Isla both smiled. Everyone shared their congratulatory wishes, and then came the onslaught of questions.
“How has it been so far?” What are your symptoms?” Most siblings had moved to the bed to sit and talk, the one place they were safe from their parent’s ears.
“Rough. I’ve been sick as hell, need to piss every 20 minutes. I’m so emotional all the time, cry so damn much. Oh, and my chest hurts like nobody’s business.” He complained, sitting with his siblings. All of them were parents, or husbands to their pregnant wives, they’d each been through the same process. John honestly didn’t feel any need to hold back what he was saying, everyone in the room, his husband, his siblings, and his sibling-in-laws cared about him and knew what he was going through, or had been exposed to it.
“I remember the chest pain, good lord.” Bianca laughed. “Just wait until you’re breastfeeding and they start getting teeth. Holy shit.” She laughed.
“How far along are you?” Lachlan asked.
“10 weeks.” He smiled. “I just need to get out of the first trimester.”
“First one is too rough.” Alma laughed, much to the agreement of everyone in the room.
“How’d you find out?” Jack asked.
“Oh man, I cry every time I tell this story.” He chuckled. “I didn’t expect it to happen. Simon left for a mission and I tested… and when it was positive I did twice more and both of those were super clear positives… Had a panic attack and cried so much that week.” And of course, Soap began to get choked up.
“But it was all alright. I was happy, we scheduled an appointment, and we’ve been doing research and just feeling out the first trimester.” Ghost finished the story. Soap nodded, wiping his eyes. All the siblings smiled, it was a sweet scene.
“Are you showing at all yet?” Ethan asked. “Wait- ten weeks? Probably not. It is your first.”
“Yeah, just bloated as fuck.” He laughed.
They talked for a while longer, offered help and resources, and all headed back to the living room when Soap realized how hungry he was. Crackers, rice, and berries, all that he was able to stomach.
…
Once Soap passed 12 weeks, things felt really good. He stopped getting sick every day, didn’t have to pee every 10 minutes, and felt much more euphoric. He was still very sensitive, but everything was feeling a whole lot better.
⚠️⚠️⚠️
In fact, he had gotten his libido back at full force. He’d read about this happening, and it really was true. His first trimester was awful, he couldn’t even begin to imagine having sex, but as he sat at his desk, writing a report, the urges came in full force.
“Simon.” He texted Ghost.
“What” He texted back.
“Needs have come back. Be prepared. The second I get home I’m taking you to bed.”
“I’ve been warned, Sergeant.”
Sitting at his desk for the rest of the day was miserable. His cunt ached in need, he was so wet in his pants in pure need. He could only grind against the chair for a bit of relief. He needed his husband.
The second he was allowed to leave, he left. He had to really hold himself back from speeding home, not wanting a ticket in his state.
Once he got home, Ghost was waiting for him. They practically ran down the hall, straight to bed. Soap was on his back quickly in bed, stripping out of his clothes as fast as he could. Ghost was kissing him desperately all over, save for his chest, which was still extremely sore.
Once Soap had stripped his underwear, Ghost got straight to it, sliding two fingers into his tight, wet cunt. Soap moaned loudly, trying to fuck himself on Ghost’s fingers.
“Patient, love.” Ghost hummed, slowly scissoring his fingers to prepare him. He soon added a third, Soap moaning at the delightful stretch. Ghost’s thumb rubbed his clit, and Soap’s back arched at the sensation, desperate moans tearing from his throat.
“Cum for me, love, then I’ll fuck you.” Soap didn’t need to be told twice. His vision went white as his orgasm tore through him, a new sensation accompanying the feeling. Something hot and wet and…
“Did I just squirt?” He asked, voice trembling.
“You did, Johnny.” Ghost said, unable to hide the smirk. “Let me put a towel down.” He walked to the bathroom, grabbing one.
“I’ve never done that…”
“It’s more common when pregnant.” Ghost kissed him firmly on the lips, then stripped out of his own clothes.
“You don’t mind it?” Soap asked, anxious.
“I don’t mind.” Ghost kissed him, applying lube to his hard cock. He climbed back onto the bed, making sure the towel didn’t shift. Slowly, he pressed in. Soap’s back arched and he moaned loudly, pulling his husband back to him. Ghost sucked marks into his neck and collarbone, tongue ghosting over his nipple.
“Ah- too sensitive-“ Soap whimpered, and Ghost pulled off. He began to thrust slowly, brushing past his G spot with every thrust. Soap couldn’t hold back his moans, everything just felt so good since he hadn’t had it for months.
“Simon… Need to cum…”
“Go ahead, Johnny. Cum for me.” Soap practically screamed as he came again, Ghost was concerned for the neighbors. Soap came, squirting all over his cock and abdomen. Ghost couldn’t hold back, thrusting his cum deep inside his lover. Soap still had some energy left, Ghost could tell. He sank lower, licking a stripe from his cunt to his clit, sucking hard. Soap moaned, grabbing onto his lover’s hair. Ghost switched between sucking on his clit, to licking up his own release in Soap’s cunt. He sucked at his clit, his nose buried among the curls. Soap tried to thrust up into his mouth, but Ghost held him back as he swirled his tongue around his clit, humming gently as Soap pulled. Soap was sobbing in pleasure, barely able to string a word out. Suddenly, he squirted once more, covering Ghost’s chin in his release. Ghost did his best to lap up as much of it as possible, his own orgasm ripping through him. He didn’t even realize he was grinding.
Soap laid boneless against the bed, he felt euphoric. Ghost crawled up to kiss him, Soap humming at the taste of himself on Ghost’s lips.
“C’mmon. I’ll run you a bath and change the sheets, alright?” Soap hummed, frowning softly as his husband left to start the bath. He soon returned, picking him up and placing him in the tub gently, handing him some water. “I’ll be back, love.” Ghost promised as he went to go change the bedding. He returned quickly after, sitting in the tub with his husband.
“That felt so good.” Soap hummed. “Do it again in the morning?”
“Yes sir.” Ghost kissed his shoulder, hiding a grin.
⚠️⚠️⚠️
…
“Simon?” Soap called from their bedroom. Ghost was there in an instant, hoping everything was okay.
“Look,” Soap turned to the side. “I can’t button my jeans. I’m starting to have a bump.” He grinned. Sure enough, he did have a small, yet noticeable, bump. “I never noticed it before. But I can see it now.” Ghost smiled, walking over to his husband and kneeling down, kissing the small bump softly. Soap threaded his fingers through Ghost’s hair, smiling affectionately.
“You do have a bump.” Ghost hummed gently. “We’ll have to grab you a new pair of jeans at the store today. Maybe some sweatpants too.” Soap nodded, pulling Ghost back up and rubbing his hand over the small bump softly. He pulled on some sweatpants, still standing sideways in front of the mirror. Ghost came up behind him, hands sliding onto his tummy.
“C’mon… Johnny.”
“Why the hesitation?” Soap asked.
“What will you be called? Daddy, papa, …mama?”
“Hm…” Soap hummed. “I’ve been thinking about it. I think Papa fits. You?”
“I’ll probably just take Dada then.” Ghost said softly. Soap smiled, turning around to nuzzle his face into his neck.
“C’mon, then, Papa. Grocery store.” Soap followed Ghost to the door.
…
At the store, the two walked through the clothing section, picking out some new maternity clothes. Soap seemed to get frustrated with all the feminine things, so Ghost put in extra effort to find more neutrals. They ended up with one pair of jeans and two pairs of sweatpants, and a pack of maternity underwear for pregnancy. Boxers wouldn’t make the cut very soon.
As they left the section, they passed through the baby section, and Soap was looking a little too hard. Ghost saw where he was looking and veered off course, indulging his husband’s imagination. Soap was drawn to one onesie that had strawberries on it, tearing up.
“We’re gonna be getting so much baby clothes soon…” He sniffled. “It’s so cute..”
“We can get that one if you want, Johnny.” Ghost told him, noticing how he was trying to talk himself out of it. “We’ll be getting plenty, but if you really like that one, we’ll get it.” “Can we?” Soap asked with a small smile. Ghost took it and placed it into the cart. “You ought to make a registry for the baby shower, that’s coming up soon.” “Ooh, you’re right.” Soap agreed as they headed to the produce.
…
Soap awoke to the sound of things moving. He didn’t even realize his husband had gotten out of bed. Groggily, he yawned and headed to check out what was going on.
“Good morning.” Ghost greeted. “Do you have a paint color picked for the nursery? I wanted to get started after your ultrasound.”
Soap smiled, kissing his cheek. “I’m not sure… I really loved yellow but it kinda needs a theme… the pink and the blue are just too monochrome I feel like… the green makes cloudy days feel cloudier…”
“We can do a theme if you like.”
“Really? I don’t know, I feel like it just makes everything more sunny…”
“Johnny, if we get something you don’t like, I will either return it or fix it myself.” Ghost promised. Soap looked around, imagining the room.
“Let’s do yellow.” He nodded. After the ultrasound, they both opened the window, put the tarp down, taped edges and began painting together. It wasn’t a super long process, but Soap got tired quick.
They put every fan they had into the room overnight, excited to see what their baby’s room would look like.
…
Soap wasn’t ready for the week 21 swing. He’d been feeling good and happy his entire second trimester, but something about week 21 hit different. He had just had an ultrasound to check on the baby’s development, and they had found out that the baby could hear them now. Soap and Ghost were starting to get more pressed about names, ricocheting names back and forth as they fixed uo the room. Something about week 21 really had him bugged. He was annoyed and tired, his nipples were sore, and his back was starting to hurt. He was starting to think about unboxing that pregnancy pillow.
“Do you like it here? Or should we move it to that corner?” Ghost asked. They’d tried just about every corner with the crib.
“Try that one? I don’t know.” He grumbled. It was hard to decide. They lifted the crib and moved to the other corner, when a cramp hit Soap’s back and he dropped his side of the bed.
“Careful-“
“I’M TRYING!” Soap yelled, frustrated. His face was hot with anger. He needed to calm down, it was just his husband. But he couldn’t.
“Johnny-“
“I’m tired of moving this fucking bed! My back and my fucking chest hurt and we still can’t agree on a name and I’m just fucking tired and I’m being careful!!!” Soap yelled, angry tears rushing to his eyes. He jammed the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing to try and make it go away. Angry, pissed off sobs escaped, and he kicked the screwdriver nearest to him.
“J-“
“Get out.” Soap sobbed. Ghost obeyed, stepping out of the nursery. Soap cried it out, feeling his rage before letting it go, sitting down and talking to the baby.
“I shouldn’t have lashed out at your dad… he’s just trying to help. I’ve gotta calm down.” He whispered, wiping his eyes and rubbing his slightly round belly. “You can hear me now, I’ve got to behave.” Soap chuckled. He stood up, leaving the room to apologize. He almost ran into Ghost in the process. In his hands was a tray of snacks and drinks.
“Simon?”
“We need some lunch.” He said, walking into the nursery and setting up a sort of picnic. Soap sat down, groaning as he did.
“I’m sorry. Just got really bothered for a moment. Really hormonal.” He explained.
“I understand.” Simon said, taking his hand. “Just tell me when you need a break. I’m just here to help you, alright, Johnny?”
“Alright.” He agreed.
…
At 24 weeks, Soap was growing for sure. His belly was starting to show. Soap found himself even more emotional this week, he had been so emotional his whole pregnancy but anything seemed to bring it on. They had been working on the nursery for quite some time. It was coming together nicely, just missing all the things that were on his baby registry.
They had discussed a gender reveal for a long time. They decided to do it at the gender reveal, that way they could receive all the colors, not just an onslaught of pink or blue. The idea was simple, the traditional cake method. Soap’s family was invited, as were a few of their neighbors they were friendly with, and the unit, of course, as well as some other friends from outside that they didn’t get to see as often.
They woke up early to set up the baby shower, with a few of Soap’s siblings to help. They had rented a small event space, really just a sort of common area in an apartment complex, which had a table for food, which Ethan was grabbing, a table for gifts, one for the diaper raffle they would be doing, one for activities, and a nice sitting area. The decorations were impossibly cute, a banner that said “welcome baby,” flowers, pastel green tablecloths, baby items like little shoes and bottles. Ethan set up the food table, which was full of finger foods such as little sandwiches, cheeses, sausage, crackers, fruits, a veggie platter, and at the center top of the display were two cupcakes with tiny flags, one reading “Daddy,” and the other, “Papa.” Inside the cupcakes was pink or blue filing for the baby’s gender. Soap was adamant that it was a girl, but Ghost refused to make a prediction, saying he just wanted a healthy baby.
Ghost was dressed up all nice, wearing jeans and a pink button up with the sleeves rolled up. Soap was drooling over him that morning, and they couldn’t leave without a quickie. Soap on the other hand was dressed in a green jumper with brown overalls.
“You look nice.” Ghost constantly reminded him with a kiss.
Soap looked around at 2:55. Everything was perfect. At 3, people began to pile in. His siblings handled directing people, and Soap greeted them, leading them to the diaper and gift tables. The first to arrive was of course, Price, who carried a pack of diapers, and the most expensive gift they had on the registry: the bassinet. Inside of it were a few wrapped gifts, he had really gone above and beyond. He sat on the couch after placing things down, talking with Ghost. Gaz followed, holding a gift bag and a pack of diapers. The more the merrier.
Alejandro and Rudy followed with gift bags and diapers, and soon after them were König, Roach, and Horangi, all carrying supplies in nice packaging. Farah and Alex followed with their young son and a gift. The room got loud as Soap’s family piled in, Soap’s mother was on a tight leash at this event, Alma and Ethan on removal duty. Their neighbors turned up and took their seats, and just like that, everyone was there. They had a separate room for the kids to play in with games and coloring, the more shy ones stuck to their parent’s sides. Bingo was nestled up in the corner in a little bed, happy as could be. Most of the first few minutes was just talking, and Soap still couldn’t tell the story of how he first found out without crying. The next activity was “baby predictions” with categories such as date of birth, time, eye color, hair color, resembling features of which parent, and a little advice section. Soap’s mother was the first to finish, and occupied her time looking at various ultrasound photos.
They also had blocks that everyone could decorate with paint pens, which was Ghost’s idea. It was a hit, everyone loved decorating them. Another activity was the “diaper relay” in which there were two teams, each of whom could tie a cloth diaper on a doll for each person, first team to finish everyone won. That was a hit, with laughter filing the room. The next activity was one where small plastic babies were frozen into ice cubes, and the first person to get theirs to melt won. Everyone was happy to talk and sit around, continuing to decorate blocks, until the topic of the gender came up. Soap was antsy to find out, and Ghost honestly felt the same. He brought the two cupcakes over, sitting beside his husband. They threaded their arms around each other’s, everyone counted down, and at 3, both men bit into their cakes, holding up the half for the other man to see.
“MrghHrr!” Soap exclaimed with a mouthful, their guests eager to see. Ghost turned his cake to reveal the pink filling to the small crowd. Cheers and screams erupted, chatter and excited talking over the fact that the baby was a girl. “I knew it.” Soap laughed, eyes filling with tears. His laughs turned to sobs as the pregnancy hormones got him again. Ghost held him, rubbing his back as he always did.
“You knew it, Johnny.” He hummed. “Our baby girl.”
“You alright, MacTavish?” Price chuckled. Soap nodded, hiccuping.
“Hormonal.” He got out between sobs. The room quieted, trying to gauge if he was happy or not.
“You happy about this?” His brother asked, getting a few odd looks.
“Yes!” He sobbed.
“Johnny’s been convinced it’s a girl for months. I think just the joy of finding out for the first time is overwhelming.” Ghost explained. Soap nodded, trying to laugh his way out of his sobs. He made it work, smiling and laughing again soon. Everyone went back to normal, laughing at how they were nervous.
“I’m not one of those dads. I’ll love any baby.” Soap smiled. They moved on to pacifier-pong, a funny spin on beer pong, and then the diaper raffle. Everyone who brought a pack signed their name on a piece of paper, which Ghost picked out. He looked at the small sheet of paper.
“König.” He grinned at the man, who quickly flustered. Soap brought over the prize, which was a pack of chocolates, a gift card, and a small candle. He accepted them with an anxious smile.
Soap and Ghost opened gifts afterward. Almost everything from the registry was bought, as well as an onslaught of clothes.
Soap draped one tiny onesie onto the front of Ghost’s shoulder, laughing at how small it was. Ghost didn’t move it.
They just talked as people filtered out, it was close to dinner time and kids were staring to get hungry. One by one, guests filed out. The last one left, save for the siblings, was Price.
“Congratulations, MacTavish. You’re glowing.” He joked, hugging the other man. He turned to Ghost and smiled. “You’ll be a good dad.” He hugged him as well.
“Girl dads.” Soap grinned, unconsciously rubbing his belly.
“You’re gonna spoil her, I know it.”
“She’ll deserve it.” Ghost said softly.
Price left a little while later, and the siblings helped load everything into their car, saying goodbye and driving off. In the car, Soap was silent, just reveling in the happy feeling.
“Why didn’t you turn home?” He turned to Ghost as they passed through the intersection. Ghost shrugged.
“Surprise.” Now John was really interested, trying to think of what it could be. He never guessed a nice restaurant, but that’s where Ghost parked.
“Wanted to take you out.” He smiled. Soap really had to work to not let tears spill, and if one slipped out while they kissed, it was alright.
Ghost had a table reserved already, and the waiter brought them some water. They looked over the menu, chatting.
“I’ll probably get fettuccine Alfredo, the pregnancy staple.” Soap remarked.
“She’ll like that?” Ghost chuckled.
“Who?” Soap asked, his gaze meeting a sarcastic look from his husband. Once the dots connected, he laughed. “Oh. I bet she will.”
Bingo laid on the floor, tail wagging softly while the two enjoyed their date night.
…
By 26 weeks, Soap was getting big. It was starting to really wear on him, he was getting sore.
Finally, he’d opened up his pregnancy pillow and was using it every night. Not only that, but every night, Ghost would talk to the baby.
He discussed all sorts of things, from stories during the war to what he made for breakfast. Every night, he would talk. The first night he did it, Soap cried. He still found himself getting choked up at his husband, big scary Ghost, talking to his belly every night before bed, saying two good morning’s every day.
Ghost was taking good care of him, he’d learned a bunch of new “good for pregnancy” recipes to keep Soap fed and healthy.
One day, they were slow to get out of bed. Neither of them worked that day, so they could just do chores around the house.
Ghost sank down in the bed, his head resting against Soap’s pregnancy pillow, and he began to talk again.
“Good morning, sunshine.” He said. It’s what he’d been calling the baby while they still didn’t have a name.
“I think today Papa and I should finish building the changing tables, do you think so? You’re able to open your eyes now, right? Not much to see, I bet. Maybe when it’s bright, then you just see your handsome papa.” He hummed. Soap lost his fingers in Ghost’s hair, massaging his scalp gently. “Papa’s almost in his third trimester, that’s cool, hm? Next week. He’s gonna be getting real sore. I hope you don’t kick him too much.” He smiled gently. He lightly traced Soap’s stretch marks with the tip of his finger. “What do you say we get some breakfast?” He paused for an imaginary response. Suddenly, came a little kick. Both men gasped, giggling softly. “How about Papa?”
“That would be great.” Soap smiled, sitting up and groaning at the Braxton Hicks he was starting to get. Slowly, he followed his husband into the kitchen. The house really was a mess, with baby items strewn about, not having a place yet. They’d fix that today.
After breakfast, they got to work, building the two changing tables: one for the baby’s room and the other for the bathroom. The nursery was mostly set up, the nursing chair was still in the box. Soap busied himself organizing items they had gotten as gifts from the baby shower or others, putting all the clothes and blankets in a laundry basket, the diapers near a changing station, random items in the nursery, dishwater by the sink, and the toys in the living room. Simon was busy putting some small shelves into the wall to display toys or books. While Simon was doing that, Soap washed the clothes and the dishes, pausing every so often to sit and rest. By the time he finished the monumental tasks of washing the dishes and setting them out to dry, and washing and drying the clothes, he was pretty tired.
By then, Ghost had finished all of that work and was working on setting up the nursing chair. Soap sat on the floor to rest his knees, folding clothes and organizing them by size. He placed them into different drawers, happy with his work. He moved to stocking the changing tables,then making the bed. Simon stopped him. “Not yet, Johnny. I don’t want dust to settle. We’ll wash it closer to 40 weeks.” Soap couldn’t argue with that.
After taking a break to eat, Ghost fitted foam to all of the shark corners in the house. Not only could they be hazards when the baby began to walk and crawl, but late nights up feeding too, it was easy to bump into things when tired. Soap set up the mobile over the crib and put up photos around the room. Pictures of ultrasounds, of soap and ghost, of mountains lit orange by a setting sun. By the time they were done, they were proud of their work, celebrating in bed together.
…
At 30 weeks, Soap was big, and uncomfortable. He started to have trouble sleeping, as was common. They were getting closer to settling a name, but not close enough. It was that thought that kept him up at night. That, as well as his aches, his racing mind, and a kicking baby.
He sat up one night, fed up with the pregnancy insomnia. He was so tired, but he couldn’t sleep no matter what. He tried it all: warm milk, a routine, no devices, read before bed, sleep with one leg over the pregnancy pillow on his side, everything. He rubbed his face, getting up to use the restroom and soon returning, sitting up in bed. Tears of frustration slid down his cheeks, he was just so tired.
Shuffling let him know that his husband was awake. Ghost sat up and shuffled behind him. Soap nearly jumped at the feeling of his hands pressing into his tired back muscles.
“Relax, Johnny. I’ve got you.” He hummed. Soap relaxed as Ghost massaged his back, his neck, then laid him down and massaged his scalp. Ghost was talking softly, to the baby, Soap soon realized. Soap let himself be lulled to sleep.
In the morning, Soap felt much better than he had, looked it as well. Not only that, but he woke up with an immense craving for pizza. He immediately voiced this to Simon, who got up. Soap followed him, starting to develop the signature pregnancy waddle. He took the pizza dough they had in the fridge, which was going to be used that night, and began making him his own pizza. Soap sat happily, talking to the baby, rubbing his belly, and then putting on music next to his bump.
Soon, Ghost had pizza ready for his husband, cutting him slices and then making himself some tea and cereal. Soap ate happily, after peppering Ghost’s face with happy kisses. He really was having a good time in the third trimester.
…
By 34 weeks, he was starting to have prenatal appointments often, twice a month. He was much bigger now, and was finally on paternity leave. Ghost surprised Soap with a “babymoon” trip as well.
“I’ve heard they’re good to relax a bit a little ways out from birth. We’ll get some photos, too.” He promised happily as they loaded up the car. Bingo was just happy to stick her head out of the window.
Ghost had gotten an AirBNB for the weekend at the beach. It was May, and getting warmer.
Soap was very happy about Ghost’s decision as he spent time in the pool with his husband. Soap had noticed a multitude of comments about how big he was, and it made him a little insecure.
“Everyone’s just tellin’ me how huge I look… Is it really that big?” Soap asked in the hotel room as he turned on the tap for the bath.
“It is noticeable, but it’s our baby, Johnny. There’s nothing to worry about. Your body is acclimating to our daughter. He said, stepping into the bathtub and helping Soap in after him.
“You’re right.” Soap sighed, leaning back against his husband’s chest. Ghost rubbed his shoulders, hands working his way down to his chest. He worked at the sensitive flesh, soothing Soap’s groans of pain. Suddenly, he felt immense relief on his left side. He opened his eyes to see milk dribbling down his breast and Ghost’s hand.
“Simon-“
“Thought this might be it.” He pressed more kisses into Soap’s hair, focusing his attention on Soap’s right side, which soon followed.
“Sometimes it takes a while and a little help before you start leaking.” Ghost pointed out. “I know they hurt, so I wanted to help move it along.”
“Thank you.” Soap breathed as it dribbled down his chest.
Ghost went quiet for a moment. “Aspen?” Soap thought about it for a moment.
“I like Aspen.” He said, imagining a breeze through the trees. “But more like.. a middle name.”
“I like it as a middle name as well. We need that too.” Soap smiled. “Yeah.. Something Aspen Riley-MacTavish.” They discussed a while longer. Ruby had nicknames but Soap didn’t like it. Paige was nice but Ghost just imagined books. Esme was nice but hard to nickname. Elsie was cute, but Soap knew a not-so-nice Elsie when he was young.
“How about Indigo? It’s a nice color, but we could mostly call her Indy, like how Allisons go by Allie?” Soap brought up.
“Indy… Indy Aspen…” Ghost mumbled to himself. He held Soap’s belly, rubbing absentmindedly as he turned the name over in his mouth.
“I like Indy. That’s a good idea with the legal name and nickname. That way if she wants Indigo as she grows up more, she has it, but Indy is still sweet.”
“So do we have it? Indigo “Indy” Aspen Riley-MacTavish?”
“I think we have it.” Ghost grinned, hiding his smile in his lover’s shoulder. Soap took his face and kissed him all over.
…
The photos they had taken on the beach were amazing, they would just need to get printed and sent to them by the photographer. They walked for a long time on the beach, walking far away from the AirBNB without realizing, so when Soap’s knees and ankles began to ache, Ghost carried him back.
⚠️⚠️⚠️
By the time they got back, Soap was feeling needy again. Walking and being carried by his husband had made him more than a bit horny, and Ghost knew. He placed his lover down on the bed, grabbing a towel and some lube, and Soap ran to pee. His doctor told him he was supposed to before AND after now. He returned and eased himself down, fully naked, having stripped in the bathroom. Simon had done the same while he was gone, and was busying himself between his legs.
His hot tongue swirled over Soap’s clit, fingers dipping into his cunt. Ghost knew exactly where his G-spot was, finding it instantly and rubbing his fingers against it. Soap moaned, hips thrusting gently, riding his husband’s face. He was lucky Bingo was sleeping in the living room.
Ghost alternated between sucking and licking his clit, the pleasure never seeming to end.
“Love..” Soap breathed out, pushing him away. “Come up here and fuck me.” Ghost obeyed, pulling his fingers out and cleaning them with his mouth, then kissing Soap, pushing his own taste into his mouth. Slowly, he slid in, careful with his thrusts. He thrusted slowly and sensually, drawing the prettiest moans from his husband.
“That’s it, Si… right there..” He moaned. Slowly, milk dribbled out of his breasts again, lapped up by Ghost. Soap couldn’t help but moan at his husband’s mouth on his chest. Simon left marks on the underside of his rounded chest, his clavicle, anywhere his mouth reached.
“Simon… Cumming…” Soap strangled out, tears of pleasure rolling down his cheeks.
“Let go, love.” Ghost mumbled as he soothed his tongue over a new mark.
Ghost felt a gush against his abdomen, Soap’s cunt tightening and spasming around him. With a few more thrusts, Ghost followed him over the edge.
⚠️⚠️⚠️
After cleaning up and doing all that needed to be done, Ghost sat, Soap’s head in his lap. Both men were bare, their clothes still in a heap on the floor.
“Look at you, Johnny. So big with our baby.” He smiled, pushing the hair off his forehead. “I love seeing you like this.”
“It’s been a rough road… but I think I like it. I want to carry more of our kids, Simon.” Soap looked up at him.
“I’ll be able to fulfill that.” Ghost smiled. Suddenly, he watched a tiny bump from the other side of Soap’s skin. “Was that a kick?”
“It was.” Soap grinned. “Saying hi to Dada?” He asked gently. Another kick.
“We’re so excited to meet you.” Ghost promised. “I bet you’ll have your Papa’s hair… my eyes… his nose…” He trailed off. “You’ll be perfect, Indigo Aspen Riley-MacTavish.”
Soap reached up, cupping his husband’s cheek. “I love you, Simon Riley-MacTavish.”
“I love you too, John Riley-MacTavish.”
…
Week 36 was a big nesting phase. It was common around that week marker to feel it, and Soap was very motivated to clean. He washed clothes again and took new gifts out of the packaging, washing the bottles again. He made sure he and Simon went to the grocery store for whatever they didn’t already have, such as a baby monitor, humidifier, small nail clippers, and more. Soap was getting many comments about how far along he was, and many asking about the gender, his pregnancy, everything.
At home, they set up the hospital bag, keeping it in the car. It had two water bottles that could be filled at the hospital that they had already toured and set up a plan with, IDs, copies of the birth plan, pediatrician information, postpartum pads and disposable underwear, a robe, soft grippy socks, and some comfortable, loose clothes. Additionally, they kept a soft blanket with the bag in the car so he could hopefully sleep after birth. For Ghost there was a couple changes of clothes, and what he was going to wear was laid out on the seat beside the carseat. He had toiletries packed, as well as a pillow and a blanket in the back. For the baby, they had multiple going home outfits, swaddles, burp cloths, mittens, a hat, as well as three bottles. They brought the breast pump, nipple cream, a few nursing bras, and the nursing pillow in the back.
Soap had felt like he’d been pregnant forever. He really loved it, especially after the first trimester, but he was ready to have the baby out. The closer he got to birth, the more nervous he felt. He was told that everything looked good, but he was still worried anyway.
Ghost had taken up a habit for a few weeks now, of coming up behind him and sliding his hands under his belly and lifting the baby up. It brought soap immense relief, so he did it incredibly often. Soap always had to smile at how good of a husband he was, and how ready he was to be a dad.
…
As they went into week 37, Soap was feeling almost sad that it would be over soon, but was promised that Ghost would knock him back up when they were ready again. The pain that came with the later weeks was inconvenient, and Soap was marking down the circumference of his belly for documentation. Ghost made sure to take many photos, including plenty unflattering ones of him drooling on his pregnancy pillow. The Braxton Hicks were getting more and more painful, and happening more often. The baby was getting heavy, and he was two weeks out from his due date. On top of all the nerves was a prevailing sense of excitement.
…
By week 39, the Braxton Hicks were longer and more painful, and Soap had to contact his doctor outside of his now weekly checkups. She reassured him that it was all normal.
Since it was early in the summer, Ghost and Soap spent a couple days at the pool. Soap Enjoyed the weight off of his aching body.
They were still waiting. He was so ready to have this baby. Any day now.
…
Week 40 came and went with nothing but Braxton Hicks and Ghost reassuring him that it was normal, especially for first-timers, to carry a bit past the due date. Soap wanted the baby out.
They made a joke out of politely asking the baby to come out, and researched ways to bring the baby out, and ended up eating quite a bit of spicy food and having a lot of sex.
“Simon.” Soap groaned one night, late, after a few rounds of sex.
“Johnny.” He responded.
“I want to get this baby out of me.” He whined. Ghost laughed, kissing his husband.
“I promise, she’ll come out when she’s ready. And when that happens, I’ll be right there with you.” The sweetness of the promise was enough to hold him off.
…
Early in the morning, on June 19th, it happened. Soap was standing and watching his husband make tea, when he felt a rush of wetness between his legs. Simon clearly heard the sound of water hitting the ground. The fact was only confirmed when they saw that the liquid had a pink tint.
“Johnny…” He gasped.
“My water broke… My water broke! Simon! My water broke!” He exclaimed. Simon grinned, kissing his husband all over the face. They wiped it up and got changed into what they would wear to the hospital, then piled into the car. Bingo was left at home, Gaz would be coming over to watch her. Simon almost sped to the hospital, making it quickly. He got a good parking spot and grabbed the bag while Soap waddled inside, beaming. The smile was wiped off his face as he felt a contraction begin. They were brought up to the room Soap would be having his baby in, admiring it. The nurse gave them a gown for Soap to change into.
Ghost slowly pulled his husband’s shirt off, kissing up his chest and down his shoulder. He pulled Soap’s pants and underwear down, then helped him get into the gown.
He rolled the soft socks onto his husband’s feet, kissing him gently afterwards.
“This is going to be great.”
The first few hours of labor weren’t much to talk about. Contractions sped up as he got more dilated. Soap couldn’t stop moving. He was up on the labor ball, walking around, letting Simon hold him as they swayed together.
Active labor hurt more, with contractions around 4 minutes apart. He continued using the ball, as well as his husband, after the nurse told him that it was good to do the gentle swaying motions.
“Can I eat?” He asked the nurse when she returned.
“No.” She said firmly. “I’ll go grab you some ice water.” Soap felt like he’d been smacked. He wasn’t allowed to eat? Ghost went and talked to her in the hall, but returned unsuccessful.
Once Soap was 4 centimeters dilated, he got the epidural, which helped the pain immensely, but didn’t eliminate it. As his labor progressed, he talked a lot less, instead focusing on his breathing. Hours passed in this phase, just waiting for his cervix to dilate more. Ghost helped and held him through what he could, instructing his breathing, and holding him. Hours passed, the sun sank below the horizon. Ghost was so hungry, not wanting to eat in front of Soap, he couldn’t imagine how the other man felt. Around 11:45pm, he began true labor. He was sitting in bed, grabbing Ghost’s hand. Contractions were extremely painful, as Soap cried out in agony at each one. The nurses instructed him to push.
“I’m starting to see the head.” One nurse reported. However, as Ghost looked back at his lover, he noticed his eyes rolling, his head lolling back as he fought to remain conscious. His grip on Ghost’s hand faded.
“Johnny! Stay with me!” He yelled anxiously. Soap pushed and pushed, repeating the same cycle. Ghost was begging for the nurses to help him.
“‘M so dizzy, Si…” He mumbled, his grip faint and fading fast.
It all happened at the same time.
One nurse stood up to tend to him.
Soap pushed hard.
A nurse shouted that the baby was crowning.
Soap’s hand slipped out of his, head lolling to the side as his eyes rolled back. He lost consciousness.
The nurses detected any hint of movement before he did, quickly jumping into action.
“Seizure!” The seemingly “head nurse” declared as he was rushed out of the room and to the emergency section. As his husband disappeared down the hall, Ghost saw his body convulsing, pushed on its side as he seized. Then he was out of sight, maybe for the last time.
…
Ghost was crying. He was sobbing so hard his chest hurt. His hands shook and he didn’t know when he had collapsed beside the wall. He crawled to the chair, sobs heaving through his body. He shakily took his phone out of his pocket. He didn’t know who to call. He would’ve called Johnny, but he didn’t know where he was, how he was doing… or if he was alive.
His shaking thumbs led him to Price’s contact, shakily holding the phone to his ear.
“Simon?” Price was in the car. Driving to them. Price immediately picked up the sobs. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”
“I don’t know!” He sobbed, gagging with the force of his body’s sobs.
“Simon, you need to calm down. What happened?”
“Johnny… Seizure… I don’t know if he’s okay… or the baby-!” He fell into a fit of sobs again.
“Simon Riley-MacTavish, you listen to me. Everything will be fine. Listen to me. Everything will be fine. If you breathe like this, you will pass out.” That seemed to help. Simon took deep, slow breaths, sobs wracking his system every few breaths.
“Price, I- I need him..” Simon cried.
“And he needs you. Even now. Stay strong. I’ll be there soon.
“I-“ Simon watched as a nurse ran into the room. “I have to go.” He hung up immediately, looking up. “I’m sorry, we need you to do skin-to-skin.” Simon’s hands were too shaky to unbutton the shirt, and he simply ripped it open, buttons flying. Suddenly, there was a baby in his arms. His baby. He looked up at the nurses. This was all wrong- John was supposed to be the first to hold the baby after his delivery-
“Where is he? Is he okay?” He asked through the baby’s cries.
“They’re stabilizing him.” The nurse answered, fixing his arms on how to hold his baby. She had a full head of light brown hair, her eyes screwed shut in sobs.
“Shh..” Simon hushed through sobs of his own. “Shh… It’s okay.” He sobbed.
“Don’t leave me, Johnny.” He whimpered softly. “I can’t do this alone.” Suddenly, the baby’s eyes blinked open as she began to calm, revealing Soap’s bright blue eyes. The eyes he’d looked into countless times as he told him, “It will be okay.” He had to trust himself now.
About half an hour later, a new nurse rushed in. Simon had the baby cradled against his chest, now with a blanket.
“He’s awake, and stable.” Simon held the baby tight as he ran to follow them, spotting his lover in the bed.
“Johnny!” He exclaimed, rushing over. Holding their baby in one hand, he held his lover’s cheek with the other, kissing his face as he began to sob again.
“Simon, love… It’s okay,” John said softly.
“No it’s not.” Simon sobbed. “You almost died, Johnny… you passed out… and had a seizure-“
“I know, love.” John agreed. “I’m okay now.”
“I almost lost my whole world, Johnny.” He sobbed, kissing his husband. “Can I see my baby?” John asked, reaching up for her. Simon pulled down his gown, placing her against his chest and supporting him, one arm under John’s two, he surely had to be weak.
“Look at her, she’s perfect.” Simon smiled through his tears. John nodded, shedding tears of his own. She had calmed down, and was simply peering up at her dads.
“Hello, sweetheart.” John whispered. “I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’m your Papa. This is your Daddy. We’re so glad to see you safe, darling.” Soap whispered.
Once she began to doze, the nurses took her to weigh and swaddle, so Simon could focus on John. Immediately, Simon began to cry again.
“Love, I’m okay. I promise.” John smiled, holding him, wiping the tears away with the pad of his thumb. “Apparently the hospital… manager? Higher ups are dealing with my nurse, as well as police. Low sodium caused the seizure because I haven’t eaten or consumed any sort of electrolytes. They gave me some medications and quick working salt, I woke up just enough to finish delivering her. She was rushed out to you while everyone tended to me and got my salts back up, now I’ve got a bag.” He explained. Simon spotted the IV he was talking about.
Simon buried his face in John’s shoulder, trying to stop crying. “You’re safe.”
“I’m safe.” John echoed.
“You’re safe.” They repeated the same words for a while, until Simon got it through his head.
“How are you feeling, my love? Can I get you anything?”
“Not right now. I will eat soon when the nausea goes away, and I need to feed her too. Just…. Stay here. We’ll send Price to get stuff from the car. I delivered my baby without you. I was terrified and hurt, and I never want to be away from you again.” John teared up. Simon couldn’t help but do the same.
“I thought I’d lost you.”
“Hey. Now we know what questions to ask. Different hospital, next time.”
“You still think there will be a next time?”
“Simon, I want to give birth with you right next to me. I said I wanted to carry more of our kids, that hasn’t changed. I just need to heal up a bit now.” John explained.
“You are the most amazing man I know, John Riley-MacTavish.” Simon said, kissing his husband. They didn’t separate after that. Not when the nurses went through her information, not when John fed her for the first time. Not when John rocked her to sleep. When she was having difficulty falling asleep, Simon began to sing.
…
Later on, they were moved to the recovery room. Indy laid in her bassinet beside the bed, and Simon sat next to the bed that John was lying in. He was feeding him slow spoonfuls of chicken broth. To John, it tasted better than ambrosia. Suddenly, smelling the food, Simon’s stomach rumbled loudly. John realized that he hadn’t eaten all day either. “Simon! You need to eat!” “You need this more right now.”
“No. I won’t eat any more unless you eat.” Simon sighed, unable to resist the request. He dug into the snacks they brought, taking turns feeding himself and feeding his husband. And that’s when price texted that he had arrived. Simon let him in, hugging him at the door. Price rushed to Soap, checking on him. Soap told him all about what happened, and Price was completely livid. Both men assured him they were getting it sorted.
“I’m glad you two are okay. I’ve never heard Simon cry so hard.” Simon blushed, holding Johnny’s hand. “I was worried.” He said simply. Price did some chores for them, running to the car to grab this and that, and then was forced to wait outside while John got his exam to check for any tears or injuries, only sustaining one small tear. Simon helped him into the postpartum underwear and a nursing bra, John didn’t want anything else. He made a nest for him out of the pillows and blankets Price brought in, making him comfortable.
“I’m going to pump, because I want to sleep.” John told Simon, who agreed, helping set the pump back up. Price was allowed back in, Soap trusted him enough to not care that his breast was out, providing food for his daughter. Price didn’t take it as weird, immediately offering what Simon and John viewed to be life.
“I’ll watch her and do as much as I can so you two can rest.” He told them. Simon and John thanked him ceaselessly. Simon changed into sleepwear of his own, sitting in the chair beside his husband. John looked a lot better now, and felt almost normal. As normal as he could after childbirth. For now, they had to put the event behind them and enjoy the current state: everyone was healthy and happy. Simon laid his head on John’s thigh, whispering praises until he fell asleep.
“You did so well, I’m so proud of you. You’re so beautiful, such a good Papa. I love you so much, you are amazing. I am so lucky. I’m just so proud of you. You are so brave, did you know I love you?” Simon whispered. Soap grinned, shining under the attention as he played with his husband’s hair.
“Go to sleep, my love. You’ve worked so hard, done so well. You’ve been so good, so brave. I’ll be here when you wake up. I love you more than anything. You’re everything to me…” Were some of the last things John heard before he drifted to sleep. Simon took a bit longer to fall asleep, just gazing at his husband. He felt like he could cry again, just so happy that the love of his life was okay.
Smiling gently, he fell asleep.
…
They got to take their baby girl home a few days later. John was feeling good, just in need of rest after giving birth. Simon was doing everything he could, being an amazing father. He was up late at night, taking her out of the bassinet before John could even sit up. He read to Indy every night, then sang her to sleep. Soap adored watching Simon thrive as a new father. He saw the sleep deprivation, the moments where Simon thought it might be too much. But with one small check in, communication, they handled it together.
……….
John grinned, smiling at his husband as Simon left their now 2-year-old daughter’s room. He was grinning from ear to ear and giggling gently, Simon wondered what it was about. He let John lead him blindly, closing his eyes after John requested. He felt the tile of the bathroom under his feet, Indy must’ve done something funny with her bath crayons again. Suddenly, Simon felt something in his hand.
“Open.” John told him. In his hand was a positive pregnancy test. Tears welled up in his eyes as his jaw dropped, looking up at his husband. This time, he felt no need to hold back, the two men sobbing quietly in the bathroom together, kissing every other breath.
“I love you.” John whispered.
“I love you too.” Simon answered, his smile brighter than the sunniest day.