Chapter Text
A knock on the door.
“Honoured One, it is time.”
Tighnari blinked open his eyes, staring at the carvings in the ceiling. A showing of the Valuka Shuna, his people, granting gifts to the common people. He sat up, ears twitching as the door opened.
“Good morning, Honoured One.” Kaveh bowed as he held a plate with food in his hands. He handed it over, then went to open the blinds.
It was still dark outside, though Tighnari’s room was lit up with candles that never went out.
Tighnari sighed as he started eating, closing his eyes as he did so. It was the same bland food as always. A comfortable palette on his sensitive tongue, but every morning he wished for something more. Just a bit of colour and flavour in his food. When he opened his eyes again, he watched Kaveh replacing any candles that had finally run out.
“There are already people waiting outside of the temple. They slept there. Isn't it cold?” Kaveh sighed as he took the empty plate, placing it on a side table before grabbing a brush and starting to brush Tighnari’s hair.
“It is winter, no? It must be.” Tighnari turned his head slightly to look at Kaveh.
“Be careful now, Honoured One. If anyone saw you looking at me directly...” Kaveh warned, but he smiled anyway.
Tighnari puffed his cheeks. Direct eye contact with the Honoured One was forbidden. It was a rule established long before Tighnari was born, but Tighnari did not understand this rule. It mostly influenced himself. He was forced to stare at the ground while his priests guided him around. When answering prayers, the commoners were forced to look anywhere except in his direction.
It was so terribly lonely.
“Do you want to go out and give them tea and a blanket?” Kaveh asked.
Tighnari nodded. “Yes. If they are willing to camp out…” His ears twitched in consideration. “No, we should take them inside and let the priests take care of them.” He decided.
Tighnari took Kaveh's hand when he extended it, finally stepping out of the bed. He followed him silently to the bath, where two more priests were waiting to wash him. His hair was not to be washed today, so Kaveh pinned it up. Tighnari stood still as the priests washed him. He was so used to this, he doubted he knew how to wash himself.
Once dried, Kaveh dressed him up in a sheer white robe with a golden belt. Golden chains were wrapped around his arms. Kaveh then added chains with small bells around the tail. Everyone was supposed to know and hear when the Honoured One walked around.
“All ready for the day, Honoured One. Let's take the poor people inside. So, they, too, may enjoy your warmth.” Kaveh bowed.
Tighnari shook his head, glancing around to make sure it was just Kaveh and him. “Really, Kaveh, you are one of my most precious priests… But when it's just us, you can treat me like Tighnari, not the Honoured One.” He laid a gentle hand on Kaveh's shoulder. “It also feels weird to hear you talk like that.”
Kaveh chuckled. “At this point it's just a habit, Tighnari. I've been raised to be a priest for you. Come. Haitham is still asleep, so we will have to inform him of taking in strays at a later time.” He walked a few paces ahead of Tighnari, as was expected.
The Honoured One. Honoured Ones could only be a Valuka Shuna, and they had to have the power of flowers and life, symbolised by a green birth mark. Tighnari was not the only one. There was one in each jurisdiction, but Tighnari was considered special. Born with green fur, a brighter than usual green flower mark on his skin, and named after the ancient civilisation of his kind, Tighnari was worshipped like a living God. To be so blessed by the spirits… It earned him more priests, and a grander temple than any other Honoured One.
Tighnari had no choice in the matter. From birth he had been raised as an Honoured One, by elder priests that were now no longer around. From the priest now present in his temple, only two were considered Favoured by the Honoured One. Kaveh stood ever by Tighnari’s side, while Alhaitham took position of a scribe, preferring to work behind the scenes.
Tighnari shivered as the door of his temple opened. A sheer robe did nothing to protect him from the winter cold. He watched as another priest grabbed a torch, guiding the strays outside to inside the temple.
He didn’t understand why people would camp outside his temple. He answered prayers based on severity, not on when they arrived. He smiled at the strays glancing up to him.
“Be welcome in my temple. Warm up at the fire. It is awfully cold outside.” Tighnari told them.
“Oh, Honoured One!! Thank you, thank you!” One of the ladies fell down to her knees, pressing soft kisses on his feet to thank him for the kindness of allowing them inside. Allowing them warmth and shelter.
But the Honoured One was not supposed to be touched by anyone but his priests. And not even all his priests were allowed to touch him. Commoners were, by all means, considered filthy. Even the rich. No amount of begging, money, praying, would allow one to touch Tighnari.
It would be like touching a priceless relic from ancient ruins.
“You can't touch the Honoured One.” A priest yanked the lady back, standing between her and Tighnari. “Don’t forget yourself, lest we throw you back out into the snow.”
Tighnari shook off the shock of being touched. “It's alright.” He decided. He knew he would have to bathe again. “This poor soul could not contain her joy. We should not punish her for that.” He told the priest. But he felt weirdly violated.
The priest turned around, clearly not agreeing and wanting to protest. But no one could argue with the Honoured One.
Tighnari looked at the priest curiously. He had seen this one before. A diligent priest, with a striking look. White hair, red eyes. A tan, too. Was Tighnari supposed to know his name? Maybe Kaveh knew. He placed a gentle hand on the priest's arm.
“Thank you.”
The priest seemed a little lost for words from the touch and clear gratitude of the Honoured One. He then bowed deeply. “I will watch over these souls. To make sure they don’t do anything… Stupid. What about food?”
“Give them my lunch and dinner.” Tighnari decided. He would regret it, as he often did. But to him, the people who worshipped him were more important.
When the doors of the temple finally closed for the day, Tighnari almost deflated in his chair. A throne, almost. It wasn't comfortable, and the stone was cold to the touch. Uncomfortable or not, he was used to it.
It had been an exhausting day.
How his powers worked exactly was unclear. The knowledge of this power was lost long ago, and scholars now refused to research it properly. Calling into question the power of the Honoured Ones was considered sacrilege. So Tighnari could not explain how he summoned flowers when he danced. He couldn't explain how he could ease pain with a touch on the forehead.
All he knew was that it exhausted him. After so many prayers and sick people due to the season, Tighnari felt more drained than normal.
He put a hand against his head as he got up from the chair, only to stumble and almost trip down the steps.
The first one at his side was not Kaveh, but the white haired priest. With a gentle touch, he made sure Tighnari did not fall.
“Careful, Honoured One.” The priest sounded concerned.
Of course he would. All the priests devoted their lives to him. To the idea of Tighnari. Making sure he was comfortable, happy. To pray to the spirits to protect Tighnari. If something happened to him, the priests wouldn’t be able to forgive themselves.
Tighnari didn't even notice the priest was guiding him to his bedchambers, nor did he realise he was fully leaning on him until he was sat down on the bed, and a source of warmth had left his side. His head was spinning.
“Honoured One, forgive my… rudeness. Are you alright?”
Tighnari wanted to look up at the priest, but knowing the priest was staring at him, he couldn't. He didn’t want to scare the priest. Idiotic rules, Tighnari knew this. But he was indoctrinated.
Before the priest could repeat his question, Tighnari raised a weak hand. “I just need some rest.” He whispered.
He was so hungry, and thirsty. His head was spinning. But this was his own fault. He sacrificed his portion of food for the poor souls until the snow died down, and they could go home. And he refused to let the cooks know.
The priest hesitated.
“What is your name?” Tighnari asked, trying to distract himself. He knew two priests by name. Surely three would be okay too.
“Pardon?”
“Your name, priest. You have helped me twice today. I want to thank you properly.”
“Cyno.”
Cyno… Tighnari repeated the name in his head. He liked it. “Thank you, Cyno.” Tighnari took Cyno's hands, squeezing them as he looked up. He wanted to see those red eyes again.
The priest immediately looked away. “Wait here, Honoured One. I'll get something that might make you feel better.”
Tighnari watched as the priest walked off. Maybe not. The Honoured One was not meant to have close relationships either way.
Those red eyes had made an impact on Tighnari, however. They were a different type of red from Kaveh's red eyes. Cyno's eyes were filled with intensity. Why was he only noticing this priest today?
Or maybe he wasn't. No, maybe he just now realised some specific features, but he did know there was a priest always on the lookout for any person making a wrong move.
He looked up when he heard soft footsteps hurrying to his room. It wasn't Kaveh's, nor Alhaitham's. Cyno's footsteps. He’d remember that.
“Here you go, Honoured One.” Cyno gave Tighnari a plate of food. “Breakfast alone is not enough. Have my dinner.” the priest folded his arms.
Tighnari tried to give the plate back. “No, I can't accept this. I won't let my priests go without food.” He shook his head. Though, the food looked… Good. Different from his normal dinner.
“You need it more. Take my humble offering.” Cyno didn't seem to take no for an answer.
Tighnari tilted his head slightly to the side. “What do you want in return for your offering?” He asked.
“For my Honoured One to eat.” Cyno raised an eyebrow.
Tighnari couldn't help a soft chuckle. “Hm. Touché.” He tried every new food on the plate. Just a small bite of each. The flavours were intense, and some textures proved too much. So, while Tighnari ate most, he gave Cyno the leftovers and demanded he ate too.
Knowing Tighnari was fed for the night, Cyno bowed and left.
Tighnari laid down on his bed, curling up and hugging his tail close. He would watch this priest more closely now. He intrigued him.
He was so close to falling asleep when his ears picked up the comfortable running footsteps of Kaveh.
He wasn't blind. He knew Kaveh and Alhaitham shared a special connection. How did such a connection feel?
These weren't new thoughts, but they were not deemed desirable thoughts. So Tighnari pushed those thoughts away as he forced the sleep away and sat up for Kaveh.
“Honou–,” Kaveh almost tripped into the room, out of breath. “Tighnari! I'm sorry, I was just… You see, Alhaitham needed… Help! I was helping him sort some… I heard that…!”
“Kaveh, calm down.” Tighnari rubbed his eyes. “I know you are intimate with Alhaitham. I'm not a child. I'm 22. You don’t have to make excuses.” He shuffled over to Kaveh, letting the priest undress him.
Kaveh's face was as red as a tomato as he tried to both deny that he was intimate with Alhaitham while of course not wanting to deny Tighnari's wisdom.
“There's this priest that helped me.” Tighnari started, causing Kaveh to pause.
“A specific one??” Kaveh asked curiously. “Will the Honoured One choose another favoured priest?”
Tighnari hummed in thought, his tail slowly swaying, brushing Kaveh's legs.
Kaveh gasped softly. “Who is it?? Tighnari, this is you wanting to get to know this priest, isn't it? Not the Honoured One.”
“His name is Cyno.” Tighnari had a slight brush on his face as he pulled one ear down to rub it. The older he got, the more he became… Himself. Tighnari and the Honoured One were one and the same up until about a year ago.
Finding himself was… Refreshing. It allowed new, albeit scary, emotions.
Kaveh tried his hardest to contain his excitement. He had been a big enabler of Tighnari becoming his own person. Not that he was a heretic, he just thought that Tighnari the person, not the Honoured One, deserved a life too. Up to a certain point.
Tighnari curled up in his bed again when Kaveh finally wrapped him in his sleeping robe. “I'll be okay, Kaveh. Let me rest. I'm sure Haitham is waiting for you.”
Kaveh sputtered but rushed off with a ‘thanks!’ Anyways.
Sleep did not last long for Tighnari. The constant flickering of the candle light made for a difficult sleeping environment. Tighnari couldn't blow them out either. The priests would freak out, believing the spirits had forsaken Tighnari, and the Honoured One would become a Lost One.
That barely happened, but Tighnari had grown up hearing bedtime stories about what not to do lest he became one. Tighnari did wonder. How did the Lost Ones live? Normally? As commoners?
Tighnari gently hit his own head for even considering such a thought. He should be happy with his life. With his position. Though, if he would disappear, his priests could just go to another Valuka, couldn’t they?
No! Such blasphemous thoughts were not allowed.
Shaking his head, Tighnari sat up, lacing his fingers together. In the past, the priests raising him told him to pray to the spirits if he got those thoughts. The spirits, according to the priests, gave the Valuka their powers. It was said that if the spirits abandoned a Valuka, their powers would finish. Tighnari wasn’t willing to test it out, trying to abandon those thoughts and praying.
Praying was much like meditating. Tighnari didn’t feel like he was actually in his bed. It felt like he was enveloped by a warm, but numbing blanket. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t hear. Much like his ritual dancing, when he was in such a focused state, plants sprouted from the walls, the ceiling, the floor.
Was it the spirits gathering around him? Answering his prayers? Telling him that it was okay, and his doubts would not jeopardise his standing with the spirits?
Tighnari’s eyes snapped open when he felt his body being shaken. “W…?!”
“Tighnari?!” Kaveh put a hand on his heart. “You’re alive, oh, you didn’t react to me at all! The sun is already up! What happened? Why were you praying?”
Tighnari pulled his ears down slightly. “Don’t yell.” He muttered. He glanced around, a little dazed. His entire chamber was green. The flowers he managed to gather were truly magnificent today. “I need to rest today, Kaveh.”
Kaveh frowned, glancing at Alhaitham, who was leaning against the wall and clearly as worried as Kaveh was. The Honoured One, taking a day off? “Are the spirits mad? Is that why you don’t feel well?”
“Considering the state of the room, Kaveh, I’d say the spirits are anything but mad with the Honoured One.” Alhaitham walked over, pressing the back of his hand against Tighnari’s forehead. “You’re cold. And paler than normal.”
Tighnari shivered, now realising that too. “I must admit, that sacrificing meals might not have been the smartest move.” He laid down, closing his eyes to fight the dizziness. Even the bit of food he got from Cyno did not help the malnourished state he was in after weeks of only eating bland breakfast.
“You… What?!” Kaveh took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Alright. Haitham, you tell the priests that the temple is to remain closed today. Tell them that the Honoured One is in a weakened state.” He waved the man away before focusing on Tighnari. “How did I not notice you haven’t been eating your meals??” Kaveh muttered to himself.
Tighnari sighed. “I was wondering what it would be like to step down and live a normal life.” He admitted.
Kaveh sat on the bed, humming softly. “I understand. I mean, I’m not the Honoured One, but it can’t be easy. But what would you do? Hypothetically?”
“If I was a normal man?” Tighnari thought about it. “I’d like to live close to nature, and research natural plant life. Not influenced by the spirits. And you? If you weren’t a priest?”
“I’d like to create. Like this temple for example. It’s marvellous. How did they make this? How could it be better?” Kaveh looked up at the ceiling. “Haitham would be a historian, probably. He doesn’t like putting effort in, but I see him reading books I did not even know were allowed to still be read.”
Tighnari shook his head, waving the thoughts away with his hands. “Unfortunately, that’s not our fate. And I shouldn’t think about this.” He put a hand on his stomach. “Do you still have my breakfast somewhere?”
Tighnari did not stop giving away his meals, but since that day two weeks ago, the white haired priest always visited in the evening to share his dinner. It was beginning to become a part of the day Tighnari started to look forward to; whenever his duties were finished for the way, and he retreated to his chambers, he kept his ears alert for the specific footsteps belonging to the priest.
Today was much the same. As soon as Tighnari heard the footsteps, he got up from his bed, his tail slowly waving back and forth. It felt like the priest was a friend, and Tighnari was in need of another one.
“Cyno!” Tighnari almost bounced over as the priest walked in.
Cyno almost dropped the plate with food from the sheer shock of Tighnari walking so close. Though Tighnari had given him permission to touch him and look into his eyes, the priest found it too difficult to, still.
“Honoured One, you’re energetic tonight.”
Tighnari pointed to the round table in his room, taking place on one of the stools. The table had been there for so long, but he hadn’t used it at all until Cyno became a constant of his evenings. “Well, you had no time last night, and the night before, you didn’t finish the story of your homeland.”
Cyno placed the plate down, sitting opposite of Tighnari. “I actually brought something else for tonight.”
Tighnari’s ears twitched curiously as he followed Cyno’s hands taking a box from his pocket. With Cyno, just like with Kaveh and Alhaitham, Tighnari felt like he could be more him. More Tighnari, less Honoured One. Even if Cyno still saw him as the latter.
“What is it?” Tighnari asked curiously.
“This, Honoured One, is a card game. It is popular among the common folk, and some priests like to play too.” Cyno explained.
Tighnari took the cards with curiosity, looking at the illustrations. He had never seen anything like it. The colours, the people. He tilted his head to the side when Cyno rolled dice over the table. He had never heard a sound like that before.
“What’s that??”
Cyno paused, glancing at the dice. “These are dice. Look, they have symbols with the elements.”
Tighnari pointed at the green side of the dice. “That’s the power I have! But the others?”
“Don’t worry about it, Honoured One.” Cyno couldn’t help but smile softly.
“Oh, okay.” Tighnari muttered, ears sagging to the side. He was used to this, but he couldn’t help his disappointment. Everyone always told him not to worry about things that didn’t relate to his own job. Like any additional knowledge about the world would lessen his connection to the spirits or impede his ability to use his powers.
Cyno looked from the dice to Tighnari and back. “Do you not know the other elements?”
Tighnari’s ears perked up again as he shook his head.
“Oh. Well, this purple is the power of lightning. This white one can freeze time. The blue one is water…” Cyno started to explain.
Tighnari rested his chin in his palm as he listened. Cyno’s voice was so pleasing to his ears. And while learning about the other elements was interesting, Tighnari didn’t listen to the contents but to the way Cyno accentuated his words.
“... so, you want to learn how to play?” Cyno finished.
“Huh? Oh, right, this game…” Tighnari glanced outside. How long had they been sitting together already?
Before he could agree to learn, Kaveh walked in. Cyno started to pack up the game, nodding to Kaveh without any words needing to be exchanged. Tighnari wanted to be a part of this hidden communication too, but all he could do was watch with a slight pout.
“Oh, good night Cyno!” Tighnari called out as the priest left.
Kaveh guided Tighnari to the bathing room, washing Tighnari himself this time. The two priests who would normally do it were on a so called holiday, to visit their parents. Tighnari didn’t really know what a holiday entailed, but he didn’t mind Kaveh washing him either.
“There are other elements than the one we have, Kaveh.” Tighnari lifted his arms as instructed. “Did you know that?”
Kaveh laughed awkwardly. “Uh, yeah. I did.”
Tighnari hummed, closing his eyes as he sat down and endured the bucket of water over his head. “Oh.”
“Were you not taught that as a child?”
Tighnari clicked his tongue. “What do you think? No, I didn’t.” He sighed softly. “Maybe this is why there is such a barrier between me and my priests. I barely understand what they know and like.”
Kaveh slowly stopped rubbing the sponge over Tighnari’s body, eyes soft. “Tighnari, that’s not your job anyways.” He sighed softly. “If you want, though, I could give you one of Alhaitham’s books for you to read? But don’t forget that you as the Honoured One is not supposed to go out and make friends with the priests.”
Tighnari nodded. “That would be great. Knowledge won’t make me worse at praying or healing others. I feel incredibly stupid for a 22 year old.” He put his hands on his hips. The elder priests would probably flay him alive for these ideas.
“And what if I cut my hair?” Tighnari gathered his hair in his arms. Every part of the Honoured One was considered blessed by the spirits and was not to be harmed. And thus, his hair by now reached his ankles.
Kaveh stared at Tighnari with wide eyes. “Woah, woah. Tighnari, I support you in becoming more of your own person, but this is a bit… I will report you to the elders, for your own safety, if you keep thinking like that. I’m your friend, but I can’t have you put yourself in danger with the spirits.”
Tighnari dropped his hair from his arms, staring at the floor.
“I’m sorry, Tighnari… I…”
“No, you’re right, Kaveh. I’ve been in a weird state of life recently.” Tighnari closed his eyes. “Just finish up, I’ll dedicate my night to praying again.”
“Is someone giving you these thoughts?” Kaveh asked as he washed Tighnari’s hair. If a priest was, they would have to excommunicate that priest with haste.
Tighnari didn’t reply, hugging his knees close to himself. How could he be so stupid for entertaining such thoughts? He didn’t know where they came from either.
“Tighnari?”
Tighnari shook his head, taking the towel from Kaveh and drying his own hair. He didn’t want to talk. He needed to focus on purging the thoughts out of his head.
“Leave me be tonight, Kaveh. Just come wake me up tomorrow, and it’ll be like this never happened.”
“But…”
“Kaveh, please.” Tighnari pointed to the door. “I need to think, and I need to be alone right now. I can’t focus on the spirits otherwise. See you tomorrow.”
Kaveh looked uneasy, but he bowed anyways, making his way out.
Tighnari stared at the ground in frustration, gritting his teeth.
Then, risking a cold, he knelt down on the ground right there to start praying.