Work Text:
You startle when you feel Dirk's chin press into your shoulder. You didn't even notice him come into your home office. You've been holed up in your office all evening since dinner, watching back the finished scenes of your current movie project to check the editing. Dirk must have wanted to watch you work.
He can be so nosy. He probably doesn't even realize how close he is. He always gets so invested in your movies; he must not have noticed that he was leaning in so far to see it better. He's lucky you trust him not to blab about your upcoming works.
"You know it's rude to read over people's shoulders, right?"
Dirk hums, but he still doesn't move. You can feel how warm Dirk's skin is through your clothes. He always runs hot. The weight of his head and the warmth feel nice against your shoulder. It feels too nice; you can feel yourself wanting to lean into the casual intimacy and the love of it. If you tell him to stop, it'll make this weird because you know he doesn't mean it like that. You're the one who's reading too far into it.
You push off sideways from your desk so that you don't run over his feet while you roll away. You drag your chair over to the filing cabinet in your room. You don't need any papers, but you need an excuse to get out of there. You open a random drawer and pick through the files as if you actually care which one you grab. You've gotta sell the illusion. When you find a "suitable" paper, you wheel yourself back over to the desk and set it down.
Luckily, the break in contact seems to have been enough to get Dirk to stop leaning against you. He still watches over your shoulder while you continue working, and he keeps his hands on the back of your chair in a way that makes you worry he'll be able to notice the way your hair is standing on end. After a few more minutes of watching in silence, Dirk leaves the room, and you can't help but let out a sigh of relief.
When you get back to your bedroom after a full day of helping with filming, the first thing you do is pull the shoebox out from under your bed. You feel a little bit like a teenager hiding their Playboy collection from their parents every time you get the photos out, but hey, those strategies only existed because they worked. You're sure it works even better now. No one would think an adult needs to hide their porn stash.
Technically, you don't think any of these even count as creepshots. Whether that makes you beating off to them better or worse is anyone's guess. Dirk is always so willing to model for you when you tell him you need a subject to try new camera settings on. He's never turned you down on an opportunity or even asked you to wait a bit so he can make himself more presentable. Because of that, a lot of the shots you have are of him after a workout.
You know this is fucked up. You've known that since the first time you asked to take pictures of Dirk. He just looks so good; your collection is constantly growing. If you had a little less self-control you would probably have a whole filing cabinet of his photos. If anyone saw the collection, they'd know what it is right away. You know you're going to hell for it.
You start flipping through the pictures. It's casual at first, looking through them while making no move to take care of your growing erection.
One of the pictures is missing from your stack. You wouldn't have noticed it was gone if it weren't for the fact that that one was a bit stained. You were a little too into it to move the photo away during one of your sessions, and the photo paper you used did not take well to getting jizzed on. You must have thrown it away out of guilt one day, and just pushed it out of your mind since then. You suppose you couldn't handle looking at the way your brother's face got distorted from your cum stain for too long.
It was a nice picture, but oh well. All of the pictures of him are nice. Either you've got the world's worst case of rose-colored glasses, or Dirk is remarkably photogenic. You can't stop yourself from looking at these. You've thought of throwing them all away, but you've never actually gone through with getting rid of them. You start palming yourself through your pants, just trying to take a bit of the edge off while you continue admiring the pictures.
In all of the post-workout photos, his muscles are so well defined, and you can see the faint sheen of sweat on his arms and face. You've even managed to get a couple of pictures of him on especially hot days where he's taken his shirt off to work out. Those are some of your favorites. You can see the lines of every scar he has, you can see all of his muscles under his skin and how they change with different shots and poses.
You just want to get this over with. You don't want to have a physical reminder of the fact that you're horny over your brother, and getting off is the fastest way to get your boner to go down. You pull your pants down and kick them off before sitting down on the edge of the bed with your shoebox next to you. You keep the photos more or less organized by type, just so you can get to what you're looking for faster. You flip forward a bit to the ones where you managed to catch Dirk after his showers. He's fully dressed in all of them, but his hair is still dark and heavy from the water.
Dirk would be so disgusted if he ever found out what you do with the pictures he let you take. You can't help but think about how violated he would feel, how he would probably move out and avoid you for the rest of his life if he found out you jack off to him. You still can't get yourself to put the pictures away and stop.
Dirk's still at home. You can hear him working in his room through your shared wall. If he hears anything, it's over. You're not usually loud, but you bite your lip just in case.
You can't stop your thoughts from drifting to what he would look like under you. Sometimes you can hear him through the wall at night when he's getting off. You don't think he realizes just how loud he is. You think about him making those same sounds under you while you work to get both of you off.
That would never happen. Jesus Christ, you're such a pervert for even thinking about wanting your little brother. He deserves a better brother than you. You're disgusted with yourself.
The guilt, shame, and fear aren't enough to stop you from cumming. They never are. It gets all over your hands.
You flop backwards so you're lying down on the bed. You don't even bother to get comfortable; your legs are still hanging off the edge of the mattress. You lie there until your dick goes soft and your cum crusts on your hands.
"How's your sex life?"
Your pajama pants are not forgiving enough for you to be asked questions like that. Especially not when Dirk is still in his tank top and sleep shorts, especially not when his hair is hanging down loosely because he hasn't bothered to style it yet. You didn't even see him leave his room, and this is how he greets you? You're pretty sure he gets all of his conversational skills from wikiHow or some shit; you can't really blame him for the fucked up wording, even if that's a wildly inappropriate thing to ask your brother under any conditions. You know he didn't mean it like that.
You briefly wish that you were the type of older family member to read the newspaper at breakfast, since at least that way you'd have something to cover yourself with. As it stands, you just have to hope that Dirk's eyes won't wander too far south.
"Jesus Christ, Dirk. I'm just out here trying to go about my life and you come out here and run straight out the gate with "how's your sex life?" no "good morning" no "how is your breakfast"? What the hell kind of question even is that, like what am I supposed to say here man you're putting me between a rock and a hard place maybe a rock and two hard places even. What kind of answer did you want? For me to lie and say that I'm getting some every night? To tell you to fuck off? To tell the truth?"
Dirk doesn't seem too moved by your speech. He shrugs and goes into the kitchen to start making his own breakfast. You realize far too late that you did, in fact, give him the answer he was looking for and definitely made the situation seem a lot more loaded than it needed to be.
Dirk moved to a barstool at the island after washing his dinner dishes. You went back to the dining table, just your usual spot. Dirk is still completely in view, looking at something on his phone. You take your phone out as well, as if you're actually looking at something on it.
Dirk is practically sprawled on the barstool. You don't think you've seen someone manspread as intensely as Dirk does whenever he sits on those stools. It's nice to see him taking up space so casually in your apartment. It's a good view, too.
He's sitting sideways from where you are, so you can see the musculature of his shoulder and just enough of his crotch for it to feel a little erotic. You take a moment to be grateful for the fact that shades are normalized in this household; you wouldn't be able to get away with this level of staring otherwise.
It takes you a while to realize that Dirk has a boner. It's a little hard to notice at this angle, but you've been staring intensely enough that the outline is unmistakable. Wow. You can feel your face heat up and your eyes flick up to Dirk's face. It's the first place you can think to look, just to have something else to see before you make a fool of yourself by saying something or ogling him for even longer.
Dirk is watching you out of the corner of his eye. You hadn't realized he was looking at you. Your eyes widen, and you open your mouth to stumble through an apology, but Dirk is already looking at his phone. You don't think he even saw you open your mouth. Maybe you both just happened to look at each other at the same time.
You go back to looking at your phone as well. You need time to disperse suspicion before you get up and walk away. You also need time so that you can adjust yourself without it looking like a direct reaction to seeing that.
You have to pass Dirk to get to the bathroom, and he stands up when you try to walk past where he's sitting. He's standing right in your way. If you didn't know any better, you would think he's blocking you on purpose. He reaches out like he's trying to hug you, but you flash just out of reach at the last second. You absolutely don't have the time to get caught up in something right now. Dirk's always been a bit clingy, but it's gotten so much worse over the past few weeks. You can't do this.
"Dirk I need to piss and there will be some serious issues with bodily fluids going everywhere if you don't move your ass. I've gotta go relieve myself right now or we'll be having a major cleanup on aisle my pants situation."
"Isn't that usually a sexual joke?"
"Dude I am not fucking with you there is going to be a torrential downpour over here in about 3 seconds if you don't get out of my fucking way."
By some miracle, Dirk steps out of your way. You flash step to the bathroom, mostly to sell the story that it is a genuine bathroom emergency. In a way, it is a genuine bathroom emergency, just not the type you'd ever admit to.
Once you lock the door behind you, you pull your pants down just enough to free your cock. You don't waste your time with anything slow. You just need the boner to go down; you just need to stop feeling this way about your brother. You cum into the toilet and flush it. You feel worse afterwards, even once your cock goes flaccid again.
After you clean up a bit more, you splash your face with cold water from the sink. It still doesn't feel like enough to get you to calm down the rest of the way, so you try fully washing your face. You still don't think you're in any condition to be around Dirk. You call down the hall to let him know you're hitting the hay early, before you go back to your bedroom.
You and Dirk are both sprawled on the couch. You're giving him a respectable amount of space, and you're paying a lot more attention to your phone than to the My Little Pony Hearth's Warming episode that's playing on the TV. The two of you sit through a few more episodes in complete silence before Dirk breaks it.
"This feels a bit like a date."
You've gotta pretend you didn't hear him. If he were anyone else that you were interested in, that would be adorable. That would be enough for you to get on one knee right then and there. Ok, maybe not that much, but that would be enough for you to say that it should be a date.
You don't know if arguing or agreeing would look worse right now. The back of your neck is prickling. He doesn't know any better than to say that. You're sure he's just glad to be spending time with you, even if you aren't too invested in his show. You keep your head buried in your phone, but you can feel his eyes on you.
"Are you feeling ok?"
Not the worst thing he could have said. You were scared he would just repeat himself. You can pretend you're preoccupied with your phone once, but if it happens twice, that's even less believable.
"I'm doing just fine, Dirk. Absolutely peachy, never been better. Alright? Can't we go back to watching your show? This is a really interesting narrative moment and also isn't your favorite about to get some screen time? Rainbow Crash or whatever her name is? Let's focus on that. Don't you think she's still awesome enough to capture your attention?"
Dirk is quiet for just long enough to freak you out more. He starts talking again right as you open your mouth to keep attempting to dismiss his concern.
"Making an explicit reference to a long-running joke in the series while trying to 'prove' that you don't pay attention while watching it with me is probably the least effective way to make your point. Just saying."
He's right. You hear My Little Pony playing in the background of your life often enough that that was the quickest way you could think of to butcher Rainbow Dash's name.
"Watch your damn show or I'm changing it to something of mine, something better than this."
Dirk finally stays quiet and focuses back on the ponies. The relief you feel is immense, but you still feel uneasy sitting on the couch with him.
You excuse yourself to the bathroom and go straight to your home office when you're done. You lock the door as soon as you close it behind you. The TV is still on. You can hear the light-hearted chatter through the door. You don't think Dirk has realized that you aren't coming back yet. You settle down at your desk and try to quietly occupy yourself with your work.
After a few minutes, the TV turns off. Dirk approaches your room, and you hear him pause outside. He slowly tries the knob once, and the quiet, metallic noise of the knob turning sounds as loud as your heartbeat in the silent room. You only let yourself relax when you hear him walk away to his bedroom.
You never really lock your door. The only time you or Dirk lock your doors is when you're indecent. Usually, the two of you are chill enough that that's the only time you need to be apart. Most of the time, both of you stay out together in the common rooms, and a closed door is more of a suggestion than anything else.
You feel a little too on edge to put your headphones on. Even focusing on your work is difficult when you're also trying to listen closely for any footsteps. You were right to stay on edge. Dirk tries the knob every time he walks past for hours. You're not sure if he's actually doing anything outside of his room or if he's passing your door just to check if you've unlocked it yet.
You know you shouldn't be pushing Dirk away like this. It's not fair to Dirk to punish him for your own poor impulse control; it's not fair to ignore him for having poor social skills. You know he just wants attention, and you're making it worse by avoiding him. You still don't leave your office, even after Dirk finally stops checking your door.
You feel your blanket get pulled off of you, and you stir a little in bed. You can feel your pajama pants and boxers get tugged down to your mid-thigh before you feel warm breath on your head.
His lips are chapped, but they're so slick with saliva that it only registers as texture against your shaft. Your hand makes its way into his hair on instinct. It's soft to the touch; he hasn't put any gel in it yet. He lets you guide his head to set the pace, and you can feel him trying to make eye contact with you. You look down at him.
It's only when your eyes lock onto Dirk's that you fully realize what's happening. In a panic, you clench your fist in his hair and yank him off of you, roughly enough that he winces from his hair being pulled. Even though it hurts him, he doesn't complain. You hold him there for a second; you have no idea what you're meant to do. Dirk is tense now, but he wasn't tense while he was sucking you off. It's not like Dirk didn't want this. There's nothing you did to force it. Maybe there's nothing wrong with letting yourself enjoy it. You guide his head back down onto your cock, and Dirk parts his lips obediently. You push his head down until you feel the back of his throat against your tip, then you let go of his hair. Dirk tips his head a little further forward and lowers his head until you feel your cock slip the rest of the way into his throat.
His shades are off, and he holds steady eye contact while he takes you all the way down to the base. You're sure that if the angle were a little better, you'd be able to see his throat stretch around your cock. You have to hold onto the sheets to anchor yourself.
"God, you look so good down there, you know that?"
He hums around you, and your hips buck up from the vibration. He gets more into it when you praise him; he must enjoy the extra attention. You let yourself keep babbling out praise. There's no reason he shouldn't know how good he feels for you, especially with how hard he's trying to please. He's giving you everything you've ever dreamed of.
"Do I taste good?"
He bobs his head faster in what you can only perceive to be an enthusiastic nod. You reach down to steady yourself on his shoulder. You need something firmer than just the sheets. You can feel the muscles of his neck moving under his skin as he works over your cock.
You've never heard him talk about a boyfriend. He's never brought anyone home, never mentioned anyone in a way that seemed more than platonic. There's no way he's actually deep-throated someone before you, and he's doing so well. The thought of your little brother practicing this just to make it feel perfect for you is enough to send you over the edge. Your fingers dig into the muscle of his shoulder as you cum down his throat.
You feel him swallow around you once more, twice more. He only pulls his mouth off of you when he's swallowed every drop. You're hit with a wave of revulsion when you look into his eyes. He's opening his mouth to show off the fact that he swallowed for you, but you can't even bring yourself to care about that. You roughly shove him off of you, nearly pushing him off the bed in the process. You only stick around long enough to change in the bathroom before you leave the apartment.
You slump down onto the first bench you see at the park. It's so early in the morning that the park is almost entirely empty. Only the occasional overachieving jogger runs along the paths. You're sure they feel a lot happier and more accomplished than you.
You don't know what to make of what just happened. You're not even sure if you're supposed to be angry at Dirk. He was, honestly, nothing but good to you. He stopped exactly when you told him to stop, and you'd be lying if you said the experience was bad.
You don't think you were being fair to Dirk. You definitely overreacted; you shouldn't have shoved him away just for that. It's not his fault that you're having post-nut guilt and can't deal with that more maturely.
Plus, it already feels like Dirk is isolated from society. You know he has a job, but he's never seemed interested in hanging out with his coworkers, and you don't know if he has any friends he could turn to if he lost you. You've never seen him make a real connection with someone like he seems to have done with you. That's the whole reason your parents even allowed him to follow you out West when he was still just a kid; it would be cruel to cut him off now. As far as you've seen, he just stays home alone when you're out of town for work and you don't take him with you. You need to go back home to Dirk.
When you get back into the apartment, the unit is entirely silent. You hope that Dirk is here, just quiet. You check his room first. It's empty, but it's messy in the way he always leaves it. You check your office, both bathrooms, and all the other rooms in the apartment. Dirk isn't in any of them.
You check your bedroom only after you've checked all the other rooms. You hesitate for a second at the door. You aren't sure if you'd rather see him waiting for you or see your room as it normally is, empty but messy.
When you open the door, you see that your room is perfectly tidy and in order. Your bed is even made; you never bother to do that for yourself. Dirk is still nowhere to be seen. You feel sick. This feels like the worst outcome.
The only other place you can think to check for Dirk is on the roof. You take the stairs two at a time, but it still feels like you can't get up there fast enough.
Dirk gets suicidal. You knew that. You're his big brother, of course you fucking knew that. You've talked him down so many times through the years. If he jumped because of something you could have easily prevented, you'll never forgive yourself. If he died because you shoved him away and abandoned him instead of just talking about what he did, you don't know what you'll do with yourself.
When you throw open the stairwell door, you see Dirk working out. You have to lean against the doorway to fend off the dizziness of your relief. You watch Dirk complete a few reps. It's clear that he's pushing himself too hard, but you're just glad that he's still alive.
If he weren't in the middle of a set, you probably would have lost composure and run over to hug him right now. His shades are back on. You can hear him grunting from the exertion from where you stand. You listen to it until you feel like you've caught your breath from the sprint up the stairs.
Dirk doesn't seem to notice you until he finishes his set and sits up. His face is more flushed than you've ever seen it, and he's dripping sweat. His breathing is ragged, and you can see the unnatural way his chest moves as he tries to make his breathing look regulated. He won't look you in the eye.
"I can move out."
You can't even respond to that. Maybe you misheard him. Him leaving is the last thing you want. The apartment would be so dead and empty without him. You need him here. You need to hear his shitty jokes that aren't really jokes, you need to wish him good morning every day that you're home, you need to buy him takeout or cook shitty food that you know he'll scarf down anyway, you need to see him hunched over his desk when you go into his room, you need to occasionally hear the sounds of My Little Pony or whatever Muppet movie he's watching float through the apartment. You would be lonely without him. Horribly, horribly lonely.
"No you don't have to it's cool."
His eyes lock onto you.
"You don't want a rapist under your roof. Especially not when I could do it again. You wouldn't ever be able to feel safe in your own home because I would be there, and there's never a zero risk of re-offense."
Dirk's jaw keeps twitching as he speaks.
"Who are you to tell me what I want or don't want or would feel or wouldn't feel? Plus I think 'rape' and 'sexual assault' are all just media buzzwords. Those aren't even real. They're all just stupid made up words to scare people and they don't matter at all. I'd miss you."
It slips out before you can stop it. Dirk doesn't look amused, but you can't tell if he caught the last part or just tuned it out as being more definitely insensitive, stupid bullshit. Dirk waits a while in silence. You're itching to start talking again, but you don't need another way too heartfelt confession to fall out of your mouth the second you open it.
"What was that last part?"
Alright, yeah. Leave it to Dirk to notice and pick at any vulnerability in your monologues. You're weak. You're so weak.
"I wanted you and honestly there's enough material in that statement alone to fund a therapist's retirement. Hell maybe there's enough to fund like 3 therapists' retirements. I'm selfish alright. I don't want you to leave."
Dirk is quiet. He looks uncomfortable, but you might just be projecting.
"This morning wasn't horrible. I had been fantasizing about that sort of thing for ages, if you had just brought it up beforehand..."
You trail off for a second.
"Ok actually I would have said 'what the hell fuck no you're my brother that's disgusting' so I guess that point is null because I didn't ever expect or even really want that fantasy to come true. Like I wanted it but I didn't want it you know."
It does not look like your words are setting Dirk at ease.
"I can leave."
That's the one thing you really didn't want him to take away from this.
"You aren't even listening to me. You know it's every man's biggest fantasy to wake up to a surprise blowjob from their crush. Honestly I should be thanking you right now because that's a pipe dream for most guys. Seriously I should be asking you if you're about to hand me a terminal cancer diagnosis because that was some serious Make-a-Wish magic making. Sorry for losing my cool and shutting you out for almost an hour after blowing a load down your throat. I promise I won't do that again if you wake me up with another surprise blowjob."
Dirk looks away from you and takes a second to even react to what you said. You think you're losing him.
"Dave, you aren't thinking straight about this. Do you even hear yourself? I deserve a lot worse than just getting shut out for what I did."
Despite his words, Dirk is obviously hurt that you pushed him away after what he did. That's clearly not what he was expecting you to do. Jesus Christ, if you could go back and fix it, you wouldn't shove him away. You would take much better care of him if you got the chance.
"No. Dirk, I'm dead serious. I won't consider it rape if you do it again. I won't even consider the one this morning rape. Scout's honor."
You raise your hand in a mock salute.
"Please do it again. Horrible post-nut guilt aside, that was my best sexual experience ever."
"I don't think you're taking this seriously enough. I'll pack my bags."
Dirk leaves the rooftop before you can stop him. It only takes you a few seconds to decide to keep fighting for him to stay.
Dirk's door is unlocked. He must not have expected you to chase him down. He hardly glances at you when you come in. His first bag is in the center of the room; it's already halfway full.
You try to gather your thoughts and think of something to tell him. You need it to stick. If you ramble now, he'll probably mark you as not credible and ignore it. He's packing too fast. You can hardly think of what you want to tell him when you have to watch how quickly he's trying to leave you. You need to buy yourself time. You sit down on the floor and block the opening of the bag with your hand. It's definitely juvenile, but it's the only thing you can think of to delay him so you can come up with some way to make him stay.
Dirk starts dumping his clothes on top of your hand as if that would get you to stop it and leave him alone. Fat chance. You wait until Dirk goes back to his closet to pull the new stuff out of his bag and dump it on the floor. Dirk's jaw clenches when he notices what you did. Maybe pissing him off is not the best way to show that you want him to stay. Dirk takes a deep breath before he speaks.
"Why won't you just let me leave?"
His voice is steady. You were expecting to get snapped at; Dirk is definitely annoyed enough that he could be going off on you about how much of a prick you're being. It feels like he's trying to keep a level head for your benefit, like shouting at you now would add to the apparently long enough to warrant leaving list of transgressions he's committed against you.
"Maybe because you would have left while I was gone or at least started packing if you actually wanted to leave."
Saying it feels clumsy, but you feel like you might have hit the nail on the head with that one. At the very least, Dirk isn't arguing against it.
"Either you wanted to stay or you wanted me to yell at you and beat you up and kick you out but since you're trying to slink away instead of shouting or trying to pick a fight, I'm thinking it's because you want to stay here with me."
Dirk is quiet for a couple more seconds.
"Wanting to stay and deserving to stay are two entirely different things, Dave."
Maybe you're just hedonistic, but you can't understand what Dirk thinks is stopping him from staying.
"What? Is this like the myth of consensual sex thing? 'I consent to living with my incestuous weirdo of a brother.' 'I consent to living with my incestuous weirdo of a brother.' 'Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?' Come on dude that's stupid. You want to be here, I want you to be here, just stay here."
Dirk still doesn't look convinced. You'll have to bring out the big guns.
"Listen, if I ever change my mind and decide I feel violated, I'll give you a three-hour notice to pack your shit and get out of my apartment before I start throwing your things away."
You doubt you'll change your mind on wanting him with you. You know Dirk wouldn't agree to stay if he thought you wouldn't stand up for yourself, though, regardless of what you want right now. Predictably, the threat does seem to calm Dirk. You wish you didn't have to use it, but if a condition is what he needs to make his stay feel earned, then you'll give him a condition.
"Alright. I'll stay for as long as you'll have me."
"Oh you're in it for the long haul, huh? Never gonna fly the nest, you'll just stay under my wing forever I get it."
Dirk looks away from you, and you can see the way his brows pinch together.
"Hey man wait wait I didn't mean it like that. I can be the papa bird and you can be the definitely overgrown chick that I haven't and won't kick out. Classic thing, happens all the time in nature trust me. Especially the part about the chick becoming a mate that's just standard bird behavior no problem at all. And obviously I'll be all happily bird hopping around because I have a mate."
Dirk's face has relaxed slightly, and he's slowly nodding along to what you're saying. You don't want him to feel like you're just choosing him because he's the most convenient option.
"A specific mate I mean I'm not that desperate you've gotta believe me I've got chicks just absolutely lining down the block trying to get in my bed y'know it's really taxing being a celebrity."
Dirk raises an eyebrow briefly, but he's quick to pull his face back into a neutral expression.
"And I'm not hopping around over the fact that it's inbreeding but I'd be hopping around over the fact that the bird I liked liked me back the whole part about that bird being my chick is completely irrelevant to the mating situation."
Dirk is still nodding along to what you're saying. You get the feeling he doesn't believe you, though. You also get the feeling that your usage of chick to refer to hot girls and also your little brother is not making your case any better.
"Unless some sudden and frankly miraculous genital changes have happened that I'm not yet aware of, it's not going to be inbreeding either way."
You can feel your face heat up. You're glad he feels comfortable enough to joke around again, but you wish he had used it at any other opportunity, and preferably not at your expense. Unfortunately, Dirk seems like he's one badly aimed joke away from going back to packing. You won't risk it. If you tell him to quiet down or get out, you don't think you'd be able to convince him it was a joke. Instead, you just start giving him random clothes from the pile you made on the floor.
"Here, just put these away."
You help Dirk unpack, properly this time, instead of just dumping his shit on the floor. You don't know how Dirk organized his things, so your job is mainly just pulling items out of the pile or the bag and giving them to him to put back in their places. Eventually, you reach a slightly crumpled piece of photo paper. You take it out of the bag, and sure enough, it's the picture of Dirk that was missing from your collection.
Dirk notices how quiet you are and starts walking towards you. You let him get close enough to see what you're holding before you start talking.
"Were you just gonna keep this in your wallet or something to remember me by? Like oh yeah this is the picture of me that my brother jizzed all over, glad I have this memory enshrined so I can think about how far gone he is for the rest of my life."
"You can take it back, if you missed it."
You feel yourself flush. You did miss it, admittedly.
"That's not the issue here at all. Would you have even told me about it ever if I hadn't found it myself?"
Dirk is quiet for a while, like he's thinking about whether he ever would have brought it up unless forced.
"I probably would have. I definitely would have waited a while to tell you, though. There's no easy way to bring up the fact that I've known you've been jacking off to my pictures because I snooped through your stuff, and also that part of your collection is missing because I thought it was all really hot, so I stole the one with a stain on it. That's the number one way to tank any mood and fuck up any relationship."
You can't argue with that. You would have been upset at him if he dropped that information on you like it was normal. Finding it yourself might have been the best way to rip off that Band-Aid.
"Yeah, alright. Sorry for being the creep with a collection of your photos."
"You don't need to apologize for it, especially since I'm willing to bet that you would do it again if you got the chance. I feel like you never would have told me about this if I hadn't found it myself."
You also can't argue with that, even though you wish you could.
"As I said, though, I thought it was really hot, and a damn good ego boost at that. It was nice to know you were in as deep as I was, too. I probably wouldn't have gotten as bold if I hadn't found it. I would have just been jerking my dick raw while thinking about you indefinitely, I guess."
"Couldn't you have gotten that across any other way, though?"
Dirk stares at you for a while.
"I mean, I did try that pretty hard. The blowjob wasn't my first plan, nor was it my second or even my third. You started isolating yourself, though, and you were clearly in denial, so none of my other attempts made it through. Do you honestly think you would have believed me if I made a heartfelt confession?"
You want to say you would have, even though you know that's not true.
"No, I guess not. I probably would have freaked out and asked you where the cameras are for that setup. Maybe I would have also picked up a gig halfway across the country so that I could dodge you better than I can here."
"Exactly. And I wouldn't have flirted with you if I didn't have solid proof that you were interested. I didn't want to rock the boat."
You're having trouble wrapping your head around it. You realize, suddenly and mortifyingly, that he probably thought you were as socially dense as you thought he was. You've gotta rein this conversation in quick, before Dirk realizes the full extent of your obliviousness.
"You can have this back. It sounds like you were having a lot of fun with it. Wouldn't want to separate you from the vastly inappropriate picture of yourself. I'm just saying I don't think people usually keep tributes they get, especially when the tribute was done without their consent and knowledge but whatever just take it."
Dirk takes the photo from you and tucks the bottom edge into a crevice in his dresser, so that the picture faces the room. You guess there's no reason for him to hide it now that you know he has it, but it's weird to you how eagerly he's putting it up on display. Dirk goes back to unpacking his bags like it's nothing.
"You know, if you're still interested in keeping up a collection, no pressure, but I wouldn't be against doing some nude stuff for you. Unless the clothes are part of what makes it so tantalizing, but I just wanted to let you know that getting nudes is on the table if you want."
You'll absolutely have to take him up on that offer. You can feel your dick twitch and have to take a second to mentally will a full boner not to form. Once you're sure you can help Dirk unpack without making a total fool of yourself, you help him put the last couple of items away.
Dirk zips the bag up and hangs it back on its hook on the wall. You move right behind him so that when he turns around, you can grab him in a hug. It feels like you haven't touched him like this in ages. Dirk is stiff against you, stiff enough that you consider letting go. You know he needs this, though, probably even more than you do. You press your face against his neck and wait for his tension to ease.
After a few more seconds, Dirk wraps his arms around you. It feels like he fits against you perfectly; you never want to let go of him. Dirk is still standing straight, even while you leave little kisses over the base of his neck.
"I'm glad you're staying with me."
It's the most emotionally raw thing you've told him in a while. You feel his chest flare against yours, like he's about to start arguing why he shouldn't be allowed to again. Instead, he exhales against your neck and sets his head down on your shoulder.