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Frank tries not to let the exile to triage sting. He knew he wasn’t going to be greeted with a ‘Hi, Pup’ from Robby today, but he didn’t think he’d be left out in the cold either. Frank knows he did the wrong thing. He’s grateful that Robby made him get clean and he’s grateful that Robby didn’t mention the stealing. He’s been doing the work. He did the rehab. He’s been doing the therapy appointments. He’s been going to the NA meetings. Hell, he peed in a cup first thing when he entered the ER’s waiting room. He wishes Robby would give him a chance to apologise. The words have been rattling around Frank’s head for weeks now. His mouth has formed the words so many time rehearsing what he wants to say that it’s practically muscle memory. Robby won’t even let their eyes meet.
Frank longs for Robby’s praise, but he’ll take a hands-on punishment or a punch to the face. Anything that lets him closer to the other man. Anything that will let him have Robby’s touch. He takes the praise he can get in other forms. The occasional ‘thanks’ from a patient. Dana’s careful gaze. Mel’s excitement for his return. Garcia even scruffs his neck when she sees him. It makes him let out a whimper so pitiful she doesn’t even tease him about it.
He glances up at the board even though he’ll be back in triage in a moment. He snaps at the sobriety bracelet on his wrist. Snap. Snap. Snap. It leaves a red mark but it doesn’t hurt. Frank wants to hurt. He wants to be hurt so he can be forgiven. He needs closure so at least he’ll be able to move on. But the one person he needs it from won’t do it.
He’d already thought about moving to nights and this morning has practically sealed the deal in Frank’s mind. He’s sure Robby’s already told Dr. Abbott about his addiction, and even if he hasn’t Frank knows the rumour mill will have taken care of it. At least if he works the night shift he won’t have to deal with Robby’s cold shoulder. Plus, he likes working with Shen and Ellis. They’re both good Doms who could help him out in a pinch, even if they’re exact dynamics aren’t aligned with Frank’s.
“You okay, kid?” Dana asks.
Frank blinks. He’s still standing in front of the board, but he hasn’t been looking at it properly for a while. His wrist stings faintly and he stills his hands when he realises he’s still been snapping his bracelet.
“Fine,” he says, smiling at her. “Just taking a breather before heading back to exile island.”
“Triage isn’t a punishment,” says a low voice from behind him. He’d know that voice anywhere.
Frank spins around. “Yeah, no, of course.”
He tries to meet Robby’s eyes, but Robby flicks his up to stare at the board. There’s a sense of finality to Robby’s words, like he’s done with the conversation even though they weren’t really having one. Frank wants to sink to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He doesn’t. Instead he swallows, nods to himself and heads back to triage.
Except he gets stopped by a patient whose being wheeled past him on a bed.
“Hey there, puppy,” the guy says in a sleazy, slimy tone. “You gonna be good for me, huh? You gonna come check on me later? I can still give you a good time. After all, don’t all you bitches just want to kneel on the floor for your master?”
Frank freezes. He hasn’t frozen at a proposition from a Dom since he was a student on his first rotation. He takes a step back. His breathing quickens. He thinks Perlah and Jesse, who were moving the patient, say something, but he doesn’t catch what. He takes another step back as the patient reaches an arm out to him. Frank collides with something warm and solid.
The patient gets wheeled past him. Frank’s heart beats fast, his pulse rushing through him. He can’t breathe. It’s a testament to how long it’s been since Frank’s actually gone down because it’s proving to take a lot of effort to remain standing, and the patient only mentioned kneeling. Didn’t ask or even order him to. He snaps the bracelet. Once. Twice. Snapsnapsnapsnapsnap.
“Frank.” Robby’s voice cuts through the haze, and oh, that’s Robby’s chest his back is pressed against, and those are Robby’s arms that are wrapped around Frank’s own.
“Robby, central seven’s free.” Someone, probably Dana, says. Frank can’t quite tell over the rushing in his ears. Robby is talking to him. Robby’s touching him. Something that last happened ten months ago when Robby pushed him out of the ER and told him to go home.
“C’mon,” says Robby, tugging Frank along. Like the loyal dog he is, Frank follows.
Robby closes the door behind them and tugs the curtain closed. He turns the lights down so they’re not as harsh. Robby takes the pillow off the bed and throws it to the ground.
“There.” He points at it as he sits on the edge of the bed. Frank’s no stranger to this song and dance, but even so, he kneels down hesitantly.
Robby’s hands drag down his own face and he doesn’t say anything for a long while. Frank’s scared to disrupt the silence, not wanting to spook Robby away. The apology Frank wants to make bubbles up in his chest and he longs to feel the snap of the elastic against his wrist.
“I can’t do this,” Robby says, mostly to himself. He gets up as if he’s going to leave. Frank whines, it’s a high, desperate sound. He hadn’t realise how far down he’d sunk. Robby leaving now would kill him.
The sound makes Robby pause.
“Please,” Frank whispers. His heart feels as though it might beat out of his chest. His palms are clammy. “Please, Robby. Don’t go. I’m sorry. About everything. About not coming to you. About what I said in the ambulance bay. I’m sorry. I’m better now. I’ll do better this time. Whatever you want, I’ll do it. I’ll stay in triage forever. I’ll change to night shift so you won’t have to deal with me. I’ll work at a difference hospital. Just please don’t leave me here, like this.” The words tumble out of his mouth like a tidal wave and he’s helpless to stop it.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright pup. Shh. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. It’s alright. Oh, puppy,” Robby soothes, running his fingers through Frank’s hair.
Robby’s thumb from his other hand swipes gently at Frank’s cheeks and oh, he’s crying. He can taste the salt on his tongue.
“Thank you for your apology,” says Robby.
Frank huffs out a wet laugh, he can feel himself coming back up. “I had a whole speech planned.”
“You can give it to me later, if you still feel like you need to.”
Frank nods, feels the weight of Robby’s palm against his head as he does.
“Do you think you’ve come up enough to finish the rest of your shift?”
The panic starts to return, but before it can swallow him whole again Robby adds, “I can take you home with me tonight. If you want.” Frank wants.
“Really?” He asks.
“You need to go down. Plus I think Dana might kill me if I avoid you again tomorrow, and I know there’ll be no hope of anyone finding my body.”
Frank smiles at that. Robby’s hand lifts from his head and he holds it out for Frank to take so he can stand.
“Tonight?” He asks in a small voice. His body is threatening to pull him down again, and he desperately, desperately wants to.
“Tonight.” Robby confirms.
The rest of Frank’s shift passes in a blur of patients, surgical procedures and apologies to his colleagues. Santos had been the most surprised. He’d thanked her for reporting the missing drugs, told her she was observant. Apologised for the way he’d treated her that day. She didn’t say much back, but she did accept the apology, so that counted as a win in Frank’s books.
Hand-off goes alright. He continues his apology tour with Shen and Ellis, who don’t really say much about it but are happy to see him back. Frank’s still unsure if he’ll be seeing them a lot more. He’d initially thought going home with Robby would be a positive thing. That they’d be able to talk out what happened and maybe Robby would even put Frank under. But as the day went on, the more Frank realised Robby never said that was what would happen. He could be planning to finally cut Frank out for good. The thought makes him uneasy and his palms are clammy again as he walks home with Robby.
Neither of them say anything. Robby checks something on his phone while Frank pretends to ignore it and stares ahead into the darkness. He snaps his bracelet and Robby’s hand clamps down around his wrist.
“Don’t you remember the rules, Frankie?” Robby says in a tone that sends a rush of pleasure through Frank’s entire being. “I’m the only one allowed to hurt you.”
Frank swallows, mouth dry. “Sorry, Sir.” Robby’s hand stays curled around Frank’s wrist for the rest of the way.
When they finally reach Robby’s door, Frank toes his shoes off in the entryway and follows Robby into the kitchen. Robby fills two glasses with water and slides one pointedly across the bench. Frank takes a sip, then drains the glass in two gulps after realising how parched he is.
“I want to punish you,” Robby says casually. It makes Frank pause as he sets his glass down. “But I’m not going to do more than spank you.”
“What? Why?” Frank whines, the words tumbling out before he can rein them in.
Robby gives him a sharp look. “I’m worried I’m going to flay your skin off with how angry I’ve been. And I’m worried I might enjoy that too much.” He admits.
“You could. Fuck, Robby. I’d do anything, anything, to make things up to you.”
“That’s my point, Frank. I don’t trust myself to stop if things go too far and I’m not sure I can trust that you’d tell me.”
And, oh, doesn’t that make sense. Frank knows how much Robby would hate himself if he went too far. Knows that there’s not enough trust that has been rebuilt between them. It’s its own form of punishment, in a way.
“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to knock something together for dinner while you shower and then I’m going to shower while you eat. After that, you’re getting ten spanks. No more. No less. It’s not going to be enough, for either of us, but it’s what you’re getting because I say so. Then, if you’ve been good, puppy can have a treat.”
A bolt of desire runs through Frank as he sinks a little into Robby’s orders. “Yes, sir.” He says.
“Go for your shower,” Robby says, pushing him in the direction of Robby’s bathroom.
The shower and dinner go by in a robotic haze, as Frank slowly sinks further into subspace, sitting nude, at the table. He wants this punishment from Robby. He needs it. He has to be able to make amends somehow, and if that means taking a light punishment, then it means taking a light punishment, because Robby said so. Right now, nothing matters except for Robby’s orders. Frank doesn’t have to think, doesn’t have to decide anything. He simply needs to take what Robby gives him.
When Frank’s finished eating, he sets his plate in the sink with the one Robby must’ve left when Frank was in the shower. He pads back to Robby’s bedroom, figuring he can kneel next to the bed if Robby’s still showering. He’s not.
“Did you eat?” Robby asks him, taking his chin in his hand and tilting Frank’s head up so they’re making eye contact.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good boy.” Robby releases him and sits on the edge of the bed. “Lie across my lap, puppy.”
Robby hasn’t dressed and Frank relishes in the feeling of his warm, bare skin against his own. God, he’s missed this. Robby steadies him and shifts Frank’s hips so they’re where he wants them. Robby’s hands are big, secure, comforting and in a moment they’re going to be making his ass red and hot.
“I’m going to give you ten hits, pup.” Robby says, rubbing a hand over Frank’s ass. “You’re not going to count because I know how stupid you get when you go down.” Frank’s cock twitches at that. “All you have to do it take it because I want you to.”
“Yes, sir,” says Frank, already slurring his words a little.
“So far down for me already, puppy,” Robby coos, mockingly.
Then, without warning, his hand lifts from Frank’s backside before coming back down with a crack. Frank jolts, but Robby keeps him pinned firmly in place with his other arm. Smack. Robby hits again and Frank’s hard on is pressing into Robby’s thigh. Fuck. Snapping his bracelet against his wrist has nothing on the feeling of Robby smacking him with full force.
Robby smacks him again. “That’s it puppy. Taking your punishment like a good little mutt.”
Frank whimpers as he’s spanked again. Then Robby smacksmacksmacks him in quick, precise succession. He needs this, needs Robby to take out his anger on him. Needs to take this so he can earn Robby’s forgiveness. Needs to prove that he’s good. That he’s better.
Hot, salty tears are rolling down Frank’s cheeks for the second time today by the time he realises Robby’s stopped and he’s taken all ten spanks.
“Good boy,” Robby soothes. “That’s a good puppy. Did so well for me, Frankie.”
“Robby, Robby,” Frank sobs. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry. Should’ve come to you first. Should’ve told you.”
“Shhh, puppy. Shhh. You can have a treat now, for taking it so well.”
“Can I suck you? Please, sir. Robby. Please let me suck you, sir. Please, please please.” He begs.
Robby chuckles. “Yeah, pup. You can suck my cock.” He helps Frank slide off his lap. “On your knees. There you go. Good boy, baby.”
Robby’s cock is thick and large like the rest of the man. It’s hard, curving towards his stomach. Frank nuzzles at it, inhaling the musky, unmistakably masculine scent of Robby, before he takes the head into his mouth and slowly, slowly sucks Robby further into his mouth until Frank’s nose presses against Robby’s pubic bone.
“Fuck, puppy.” Robby moans, curling his fingers into Frank’s hair. “That’s it, just like that.”
Frank has always loved the feeling of sucking Robby off. He loves the weight of it pressing down on his tongue and the taste is heady and intoxicating. He hollows his cheeks, bobbing his head up and down as he sucks. Robby’s hand on his head a grounding comfort. He gags once as Robby’s cock hits the back of this throat and Robby’s hand pulls him back.
“Does puppy need some help? So far down you can’t even suck my cock properly, huh? That’s okay, puppies need a guiding hand don’t they?” Robby coos.
Frank whimpers.
Robby pushes his head back down, controlling Frank’s pace and soon Robby’s thrusting hard into his mouth. Frank loses himself in the sensation, becoming nothing more than a toy for Robby to get off.
“Such a dumb little pup, aren’t you baby? Yeah, you are. You want to cum, you can rut against me.” Robby shifts a leg so it presses against Frank’s length.
Frank humps against it uncoordinatedly. The angle isn’t quite right, not with his mouth still on Robby’s cock, but it doesn’t matter, it still feels good. Still makes Frank see stars behind his eyes. He’s not going to last.
“Look at me, puppy,” Robby commands and Frank obeys, staring up into his eyes. “Fuck. I’m going to cum down your throat, and you’re going to swallow every drop. You’re allowed to cum whenever you want, pup, but I’m not going to stop until I’m finished.”
Frank thrusts against Robby’s leg once, twice before, embarrassingly, he cums. Robby doesn’t last much longer, holding Frank’s head to the base of his cock before shooting his load down Frank’s throat.
“Fuck,” Robby’s hips jerk forward. “Fuck, pup. Fuck. So good for me baby. Such a good boy. Take me so well.”
He pulls Frank’s head back slightly, but doesn’t let Frank off his cock, instead he lets it soften in Frank’s mouth. Lets Frank suckle at it, both of them are breathing heavily. Frank doesn’t want to move, but Robby hasn’t said he needs to, so he stays on his knees, feet pressing into his red ass, with Robby heavy on his tongue. He’s just puppy right now, and all puppy has to worry about is what Robby says, what he wants.
For the first time in ten months, Frank floats. He’s down, deep down and Robby’s the one letting him stay there. Maybe there’s hope for them after all.