Chapter Text
‘FIRST HUSBAND OF HOCKEY PREGNANT? SEE SHANE HOLLANDER’S BUMP PAGE 20’
Shane was unfortunately culturally relevant enough that every year or so some publication would announce he was expecting. Not front page news of course, but the speculation would send people online down rabbit holes.
This article being posted now was the icing on top of a very shitty week. His publicist could handle it, and the online discourse would die down in a few days, but it felt particularly cruel for them to take pictures of him and Ilya on the beach AFTER they had been eliminated from the playoffs in Tampa. He looked more unwell than pregnant, overworked and beat up from the long season. It didn’t help that the paparazzi decided to take pictures when they went for a walk after dinner instead of literally any other time.
He tried to tune it out. Usually. Ok looking at tweets about himself was a guilty pleasure? Coping mechanism? Form of self-hatred he indulged in when he wanted to feel bad about himself? Anyone’s pick. He was in a bad mood anyways.
Centaurs Empire 🏒 @CentaursEmpire
If Hollander is actually pregnant this baby has the genes of a hockey GOD
💬 4 · 🔁 26 · ❤️ 592
Evan @SascrotchBigballz
Replying to @CentaursEmpire
↳ The birth of a GOAT type shit
💬 5 · 🔁 15 · ❤️ 34
Dave @BetsBeersBattlestarGalactica
Replying to @CentaursEmpire
↳ I hope it’s an alpha boy I have a parlay
💬 8 · 🔁 7 · ❤️ 49
50 Shades of Rozanov @Raiders_Baby
Replying to @BetsBeersBattlestarGalactica
↳ You’re betting on the designation of a baby that doesn’t exist??? Seek help
💬 7 · 🔁 48 · ❤️ 264
Dave @BetsBeersBattlestarGalactica
Replying to @Raiders_Baby
↳ Correction: I’m betting that the baby *does* exist
💬 4 · 🔁 33 · ❤️ 132
Centaurs #1 Fan @Centaurs1Fan
I bet he is. No wonder we fucking choked in the semis
💬 102 · 🔁 39 · ❤️ 422
Megan @MeganLovesHockey
Replying to @Centaurs1Fan
↳ Fuck you asshole
💬 37 · 🔁 19 · ❤️ 569
Metros Then. Metros Now. Metros Forever. @MetrosForever
Replying to @Centaurs1Fan
↳ I hope so. He needs to retire. Omegas have no place in the league
💬 13 · 🔁 15 · ❤️ 281
I can bark 🐶 @HollanovPleaseAdoptMe
Replying to @MetrosForever
↳ He literally won last year???
💬 6 · 🔁 42 · ❤️ 777
Centaurs #1 Fan @Centaurs1Fan
Replying to @HollanovPleaseAdoptMe
↳ More like the Centaurs barely dragged him across the finish line
💬 37 · 🔁 3 · ❤️ 47
Shane’s Sexy Arch 🦶🏼 @ShaneHollanderFeetPics
8/10 article for sandy beach feet. -2 for low quality images.
💬 12 · 🔁 3 · ❤️ 235
🚬Lia @IlyasCigaretteButt
Replying to @ShaneHollanderFeetPics
↳ Oh my god what the fuck
💬 3 · 🔁 37 · ❤️ 481
N8 @Nathan_Hollander_Rozanov
Replying to @ShaneHollanderFeetPics
↳ Yes officer, this man right here 🚓🚓🚓
💬 4 · 🔁 23 · ❤️ 574
MHL Daily Updates @MHLNewsDaily
The MHL season just ended for the Centaurs after their devastating loss against Tampa in the 7th game of the second round of the playoffs. Despite recent reports from unverified sources Ottowa Centaur's co-captain Shane Hollander is not pregnant. His agreement with the MHL as the only presented omega in the league explicitly requires regular testing before games.
💬 121 · 🔁 473 · ❤️ 4.1k
Centaurs Hockey News @CentaursHockeyNews
Replying to @MHLNewsDaily
↳ Representatives for Shane Hollander also confirmed when he signed on the Centaurs that he was on suppressants and birth control after public outcry.
💬 55 · 🔁 221 · ❤️ 2.3k
Fuck The Admirals @NotIlyaRozanov
Scott Hunter better watch out
💬 135 · 🔁 833 · ❤️ 4.5k
S.H. @BlueberryBananaSmoothie
Replying to @NotIlyaRozanov
↳ What does this mean?
💬 13 · 🔁 11 · ❤️ 251
📍 Between ilyas cheeks @IlyasBubbleButt
Replying to @BlueberryBananaSmoothie
↳ The baby might Trisha Paytas him
💬 8 · 🔁 2 · ❤️ 114
Only Here For Marlow's Jawline @BostonRaidersCreamPie
Replying to @IlyasBubbleButt
↳ Wouldn’t Shane be Trisha Paytasing him? The baby would just be Scott Hunter
💬 4 · 🔁 2 · ❤️ 21
In my Centaurs Era!!! @IWannaSitOnShanesHockeyStick
Replying to @BostonRaidersCreamPie
↳ Not Trisha Paytasing becoming a verb *skull*
💬 2 · 🔁 4 · ❤️ 38
S.H. @BlueberryBananaSmoothie
Replying to @IWannaSitOnShanesHockeyStick
↳ @MerriamWebster Help!
💬 0 · 🔁 2 · ❤️ 17
jules loves gay sports @julia_24
Replying to @NotIlyaRozanov
↳ He’s like 37??!!!
💬 9 · 🔁 46 · ❤️ 147
S.H. @BlueberryBananaSmoothie
Replying to @julia_24
↳ Still in his prime!!!
💬 10 · 🔁 29 · ❤️ 73
'I love you' 'I love you' 'I love you' @IlyaOnIce
Replying to @NotIlyaRozanov
↳ The concept of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander raising the reincarnation of Scott Hunter
💬 23 · 🔁 45 · ❤️ 396
Allison🗽🏒🥅 @AllyInNYC
Replying to @NotIlyaRozanov
↳ This is such a fucked up thing to wish on someone.
💬 10 · 🔁 36 · ❤️ 546
S.H. @BlueberryBananaSmoothie
Replying to @AllyInNYC
↳ Can you explain why? Not disagreeing just confused.
💬 0 · 🔁 2 · ❤️ 23
50 Shades of Rozanov @Raiders_Baby
Replying to @NotIlyaRozanov
↳ I know this is Ilya Rozanov’s alt account I just can’t prove it
💬 0 · 🔁 41 · ❤️ 1.7k
Sponsored Tweet
Sponsored by RutStop Emergency Rut Blocker @RutStop
Hear about MHL Star J.J. Boiziau's use of Rut-Stop, the pill to stop a surprise cycle in it's tracks, in his own words: "Sometimes after a big game, I feel a bit heated. But I know that I can always turn to RutStop to keep my season on track..."
💬 15 · 🔁 4 · ❤️ 67
🩷🍧🌸⋆˚࿔ Stephanie ࿔˚⋆🪷🎀🩰 @Steph05
If he was pregnant he wouldn’t play anymore :(
💬 31 · 🔁 19 · ❤️ 372
'I love you' 'I love you' 'I love you' @IlyaOnIce
Replying to @Steph05
↳ I mean he won’t be pregnant forever pregnancy very famously doesn't go on forever
💬 5 · 🔁 14 · ❤️ 409
Only Here For Marlow's Jawline @BostonRaidersCreamPie
Replying to @Steph05
↳ He would come back???
💬 9 · 🔁 50 · ❤️ 536
🩷🍧🌸⋆˚࿔ Stephanie ࿔˚⋆🪷🎀🩰 @Steph05
Replying to @BostonRaidersCreamPie
↳ My mom stopped working after she had me :(
💬 22 · 🔁 12 · ❤️ 51
🚬Lia @IlyasCigaretteButt
Replying to @Steph05
↳ is ur mom shane hollander??? @
💬 18 · 🔁 36 · ❤️ 420
N8 @Nathan_Hollander_Rozanov
Replying to @IlyasCigaretteButt
↳ Omg Shane Hollander’s baby confirmed! Texting from the womb
💬 6 · 🔁 16 · ❤️ 233
Tara✨ noticed by Shane Hollander @ShanesBiscuitInMyBasket
Replying to @Nathan_Hollander_Rozanov
↳ I can’t even get signal in my HOUSE
💬 0 · 🔁 13 · ❤️ 110
Eve🌼 * Hollanov Stans DNI * @RaneTruther
We can’t have FUCKING ANYTHING
💬 16 · 🔁 3 · ❤️ 97
jules loves gay sports @julia_24
Replying to @RaneTruther
↳ R u good????
💬 4 · 🔁 8 · ❤️ 306
Rose Landry's Oscar Nomination @RaneDrop
Replying to @RaneTruther
↳ I bet Rozanov pressured him into it. Shane has been so so so outspoken about how much his career means to him
💬 8 · 🔁 3 · ❤️ 75
Eve🌼 * Hollanov Stans DNI * @RaneTruther
Replying to @RaneDrop
↳ Ugh I hope you’re right alphas ruin it for us everytime
💬 12 · 🔁 9 · ❤️ 57
Eve🌼 * Hollanov Stans DNI * @RaneTruther
Replying to @RaneDrop
↳ @ShaneHollander Shane baby please leave him!! Don’t let him trap you!!
💬 5 · 🔁 1 · ❤️ 24
Tara✨ noticed by Shane Hollander @ShanesBiscuitInMyBasket
YESSSSS I’VE BEEN MANIFESTING THIS
💬 4 · 🔁 12 · ❤️ 176
'I love you' 'I love you' 'I love you' @IlyaOnIce
Replying to @ShanesBiscuitInMyBasket
↳ no bc I literally had a dream last night he was pregnant and I lowkey get premonitions
💬 3 · 🔁 5 · ❤️ 98
Dave @BetsBeersBattlestarGalactica
Replying to @IlyaOnIce
↳ Did you happen to also dream the gender and designation
💬 1 · 🔁 0 · ❤️ 14
D1 🏒 '91 @ThatHockeyGuy
Damn there goes our chance fellas
💬 132 · 🔁 26 · ❤️ 1.1k
ben❤️ @Slick_N_Thick
Replying to @ThatHockeyGuy
↳ His husband is literally built like a greek god id be pregnant too
💬 12 · 🔁 38 · ❤️ 314
📍 Between ilyas cheeks @IlyasBubbleButt
Replying to @ThatHockeyGuy
↳ Have you seen ilya rozanov? I fear you’re delusional if you think you ever had a chance
💬 5 · 🔁 33 · ❤️ 368
TJ • DM for access to my method @MillionareMindset
Replying to @ThatHockeyGuy
↳ Ruined my day fr
💬 6 · 🔁 47 · ❤️ 528
Megan @MeganLovesHockey
Replying to @ThatHockeyGuy
↳ They bonded like 4 years ago???
💬 15 · 🔁 23 · ❤️ 763
Evan @SascrotchBigballz
Replying to @MeganLovesHockey
↳ Literally got snapped up the same day he presented life isn’t fair
💬 1 · 🔁 11 · ❤️ 220
D1 🏒 '91 @ThatHockeyGuy
Replying to @MeganLovesHockey
↳ 4 years no kids I was thinking maybe I had a shot 👀
💬 16 · 🔁 20 · ❤️ 262
📍 Between ilyas cheeks @IlyasBubbleButt
Replying to @ThatHockeyGuy
↳ you were "D1" when he was born grandpa
💬 1 · 🔁 75 · ❤️ 840
High-Value Alpha Male @Noah_Lifter4Lyfe
Replying to @ThatHockeyGuy
↳ That’s crazy if Shane Hollander was my wife he’d have retired 4 years ago and we’d have 4 kids now
💬 45 · 🔁 130 · ❤️ 629
Megan @MeganLovesHockey
Replying to @Noah_Lifter4Lyfe
↳ There is so much wrong with this I don’t know where to start
💬 21 · 🔁 36 · ❤️ 722
High-Value Alpha Male @Noah_Lifter4Lyfe
Replying to @MeganLovesHockey
↳ Have you seen him arching during warm ups? He wants it
💬 3 · 🔁 17 · ❤️ 261
Fuck The Admirals @NotIlyaRozanov
Replying to @Noah_Lifter4Lyfe
↳ Have you seen Ilya Rozanov knock out loser bitch who doesn’t know when to shut his mouth?
💬 14 · 🔁 42 · ❤️ 1.3k
50 Shades of Rozanov @Raiders_Baby
Shane and Ilya as dads *tearing up emoji*
💬 23 · 🔁 46 · ❤️ 533
Centaurs Empire 🏒 @CentaursEmpire
Replying to @Raiders_Baby
↳ I give em shit when we lose but if they did actually have a kid I'd be happy for em both
💬 1 · 🔁 21 · ❤️ 254
I can bark 🐶 @HollanovPleaseAdoptMe
Replying to @Raiders_Baby
↳ I wish they were MY daddies
💬 9 · 🔁 6 · ❤️ 54
In my Centaurs Era!!! @IWannaSitOnShanesHockeyStick
Replying to @HollanovPleaseAdoptMe
↳ girl have I got the thing for you
RutStop Emergency Rut Blocker @RutStop
Hear about MHL Star J.J. Boiziau's use of Rut-Stop...
💬 11 · 🔁 25 · ❤️ 60
I can bark 🐶 @HollanovPleaseAdoptMe
Replying to @IWannaSitOnShanesHockeyStick
↳ @IWannaSitOnShanesHockeyStick u r throwing rocks in a glass house mama
💬 2 · 🔁 25 · ❤️ 492
In my Centaurs Era!!! @IWannaSitOnShanesHockeyStick
Replying to @HollanovPleaseAdoptMe
↳ the username was a moment of weakness ok
💬 3 · 🔁 14 · ❤️ 423
It was safe to say reactions were mixed. Not that any of their opinions mattered. It was his life not theirs. Usually. Kind of.
And it wasn’t like he had been thinking about it anyway. The only reason why any of it bothered him was because other people were always bringing it up, forcing it to the forefront of his mind. Since his thirtieth birthday people have been acting like he was shriveling up. The media, fans, sponsors, friends, teammates, his parents, all brought it up. Some more subtly than others. All wanting to know when exactly, Shane (and Ilya though mostly Shane) was planning on having a baby. They were planting the idea in his head. He definitely did NOT care. None of it was relevant to him. He was firmly focused on hockey. And his career. Nothing else
And he didn’t need a baby of his own. Not now. He had babies he could visit if he wanted to. Well, Amber wasn’t really a baby anymore, she was going to start kindergarten soon. Still very cute of course, and he was always happy to attend a tea party, but it wasn’t quite the same as when she was just born and fit in the crook of his arm.
These people didn’t know what they were asking of him anyway. It wouldn’t be simple. Not the way it was for other people. Take Hayden for instance, he loved Hayden like family, but Hayden had to sacrifice very little for his four beautiful children. Not his health, not his career. And that wasn’t to say it was all easy for him, he missed school plays and lost teeth and first times. Shane had spent enough time with Hayden in shared hotel rooms during the season to know that it hurt. But ultimately, Hayden was an alpha. He wasn’t a carrier. He was a father; babies were something that happened for him not from him.
Shane had spent most of his life assuming he would end up a lot like Hayden. Not the alpha part, and he probably wasn’t ever planning on having four children. But settling down with a nice girl, getting married, doing what married people did, and being a dedicated hockey player and father had been the rough plan.
Plans had obviously changed.
And he had maybe been thinking a little about what it would be like to have an addition to their family. Ilya got far fewer questions on the subject probably because it was clear what his opinions on babies were. Ilya loved children. He loved Hayden’s children, he loved being their uncle. He was always happy to gossip with Jade and Ruby while they painted his nails and explained in depth the drama they were embroiled in in the third grade. He and Arthur had an on-going nerf gun war with points tracked on a sticker chart in their kitchen (Arthur was currently in the lead as he had been gifted a battery powered automatic foam dart gun by Hayden for his latest birthday with explicit instructions that the only living thing he was allowed to shoot with it was Ilya). And Amber, who was the only one of the Pike children to have been born after the two of them got together adored Ilya. Every month when they visited for a family dinner she waited with her little cheeks pressed against the porch windows, waiting for their car to pull up and Ilya to come out and toss her up into the air over and over again. (It made Shane’s heart drop everytime he did it even though he knew the risk of Ilya not catching her was nonexistent).
Ilya would be an excellent father. Ilya wanted to be an excellent father. Shane knew how much his alpha longed and yearned and pined after the thought of it. He also knew Ilya thought that it would be an unfair burden to tell him how he felt. Not that it never snuck out, though usually under the influence of a lot of mating pheromones that were used as an unspoken excuse to dismiss them.
So, they didn’t talk about it. They still weren’t always great at talking about hard, touchy subjects anyway. Shane knew that Ilya knew that he wanted children eventually. Nobody knew that eventually was already catching up to him.
He wasn’t sure exactly when it started, or where it came from. He blamed YouTube. He blamed the commercials on TV. They were conspiring against him, waging biological warfare on his system. The ads for diapers with cute babies toddling about. The social media shorts with infants smiling for the first time. The videos of the newborns and their grandparents meeting in hospital rooms. He just knew that he couldn’t take any more of it. He couldn’t keep lying to himself pretending that it didn’t affect him. That there wasn’t some soft, hidden place in his chest that ached when he scrolled past. He wanted a baby. Maybe even two. He wanted a baby so bad and he wanted one as soon as possible.
He’d made a list people he’d need to talk to, and plans that would need to be fleshed out. That’s how serious this was. He was making lists. He’d titled it ‘Meeting Notes w/ Portfolio Manager’ because he knew there would be absolutely no chance Ilya would open it on the off chance he went through his phone. Maybe he should’ve done the opposite and gone with ‘Shower Nudes’ because the list started like this:
- Ask Ilya if he wants to have a baby next year
And he was going to have to bring it up first. Because he was the one that was ready now. And he didn’t think Ilya would say no but saying it aloud would make it real. Even more real than the list which had been scary enough to start.
They would be starting a new chapter of their lives. Everything would change. He would have to give up, in the best scenario, a season of hockey. (And he had several points on the list a bit further down on how he could optimize his hockey/family balance). His body, which he had sacrificed so much to hone and train into its current condition, would have to become softer. He’d have to make room in him for another person, both literally and figuratively. He’d lose sleep, free time, much of his independence.
He knew all of these things, and he wanted it anyway. It felt like cognitive dissonance but somehow it wasn’t. He loved hockey. That would never change. Maybe it didn’t have to. He’d dedicated so much of his life so far to the sport. To being where he was right now. This was his dream; it had been his dream forever. And it still was, but his dreams had expanded at the edges. He wanted to be the best at hockey and be a dad. He wanted to win the cup with Ilya and put their little curly-haired mini-Centaur in it after for a picture (then he wanted to hang that victory photo over the mantle as a big fuck you to everyone who said he couldn’t). He wanted everything the alpha players got and he wanted to do it better than they did it.
He wasn’t sure it was possible. No MHL player had ever given birth then returned to the game.
But Shane Hollander was far from average, he was the best, and he loved to prove it.