Chapter Text
6 months ago
lilybear_1221
Fuck buddy of seven years left suddenly and won’t respond to my texts. What did I do wrong?
Arrangement with Jane is simple. Jane and I are very private people. It would be very bad for us if anyone found out about us or that we are not straight. We work in business with very old-fashioned values, and only see eachother every few months. At work, we are competitive and rude to each other. Everyone thinks we hate eachother. We let them. Then we meet up and fuck, and leave. We are not friends.
I invited Jane to my place, and we fucked like normal. But after I invited Jane to stay the night. We do not do this, but I knew we both had free mornings, and I wanted more time together. I had bought Jane’s favourite drinks and food that worked with her diet, and was happy when Jane agreed to stay.
I made us dinner, we talked a little about sex with have with other people. I never hear about Jane with anyone. I was curious if Jane is bisexual like me or gay. She told me she is not gay, then I had to leave to take phone call. When I came back, we cuddled and watched TV. This turned into sex, which was good like always, but we used eachothers first names for the first time. We never do this. We only ever call eachother by our surnames. After this, Jane said some bullshit excuse about a meeting (Jane would never forget meeting. This is lie) which she barely finished saying, before grabbing nearest clothes (not hers. She stole from me,) and running away.
I have tried to text her, but messages she would normally reply to have been ignored. How do I fix things with Jane?
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Menacing_Movement
6 months ago
When I saw the title, I audibly sighed, thinking it was another story about men not communicating with their partners. You have proved me the fool, and I will never underestimate a sapphic’s capacity for messy situationships again.
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11 more replies
Greedy_Bottom_636
6 months ago
You never use each other's names??? And you’ve been seeing eachother for SEVEN YEARS? Girl what.
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SharpSpaghetti
6 months ago
Right?? I thought that was some bullshit that only existed in all-boys private schools?
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SleepPostponement
6 months ago
Guys, this could be a cultural thing. OP didn’t say where they’re from. It’s super common in some countries like Japan to primarily refer to eachother by surnames. It makes sense if they mostly know eachother through work.
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BadElephant
6 months ago
Not if you’ve been fucking for seven years, it’s not.
57 more replies
LesbianJesusLives
6 months ago
Hold up, “she said she was not gay.” Is this exactly what she said? Like she casually told you she’s bisexual, or she’s insisting she's straight five minutes after having gay sex with you??? Because if it’s the later it sounds like she's a bit repressed and probably has her own crap to work through. That’s not on you.
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Lilybear_1221
6 months ago
Not exact words. She said, “Of course I do,” when I asked if she likes the opposite sex. Jane has gotten a little better with the idea of liking the same sex, but I can tell this is not easy for her. Maybe you are right, but I hate to think Jane is struggling, and I wonder if I could have made it easier somehow.
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LesbianJesusLives
6 months ago
It’s sweet that you want to support her, but from experience, this is something Jane is going to have to work out on her own.
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3 more replies
definite_darkness
6 months ago
Lily, girl, you’re gonna have to give us more details about the conversation about the other people you’re sleeping with. Are you sure Jane knew you weren’t monogamous?
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Lilybear_1221
6 months ago
English is not first language, so I look up word monogamy. I do not think this is issue. It is well known that I am bit of slut, and Jane said she has been with other people too.
But, okay, will give more details. Conversation starting talking about work, then about places we like to travel to. I tease a little, say Jane is boring. This is an ongoing joke, so I don’t think this is what offended her. Conversation turned to hot people in places we travel. I told her about a person of opposite sex I like very much, my childhood best friend from my home country, who lives in same city as me now. Jane asked if we are together, I said no, we are just friends who fuck. It is just nice to have regular person like that. Jane was little tense. She is bit awkward sometimes, talking about sex, so I think this is why, but in moment I wondered if she was jealous.
I left to serve dinner, and when we ate, I asked if Jane liked men. She said of course she does. This surprised me as I never heard about her with anyone, but she is private person so who knows. I tell her I like men and women, and that I like her “but not as person,” and we flirted a little. Conversation ended here because I had to take phone call.
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throwaway57819944
6 months ago
You called this girl boring, told her about your boyfriend, and followed it up by saying you don’t like her as a person? Mate, I would have made a run for it when you were on the phone.
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gregariousranger5499
6 months ago
Right??? Jane, girl congrats on escaping this mess.
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28 more replies
puny_reviewer
6 months ago
Re-read and hold up, seven years??? How old are you guys? I need an idea of the timeline here because fucking your enemy for seven years is not casual.
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Lilybear_1221
6 months ago
We are both in mid twenties. We first met at 17 in 2008 when I visited her country, then two more times in 2009. We then met again summer 2010, and that is when we first hooked up. I have a work visa in a nearby country now, and we visit eachothers cities often for work.
RoseLandry4ever_24
6 months ago
Holy situationship, Batman! You guys have been together your entire adult lives???
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Lilybear_1221
6 months ago
We are not together.
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been_there_done_that
6 months ago
What the fuck do you do for work that you’ve been travelling the world since you were 17? I assumed you were corporate bad bitches??? But it sounds like you’ve been working fresh out of high school, no degrees necessary?
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unimportantintolerance9398
6 months ago
The first meetings might not be work-related. Maybe OP has family near Jane she was visiting, and then they found themselves working in the same field?
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ConcreteSpeculation
6 months ago
She said they’re competitive. Maybe they literally compete for a living, like athletes or something?
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PotentiallyMelancholy
6 months ago
Eh, she said it was very traditional, and while that’s super true for men, I don’t think women's sports are that bad these days.
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Defensive_hoarding
6 months ago
Could be something very traditionally feminine with a lot of gender roles bs like beauty pageants or cheerleading?
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moody_hierarchy
6 months ago
Ooo I could totally see that.
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63 more replies
ghastlysweater
6 months ago
Hey, that sucks, OP. I’ve had people ghost me without explanation before, and I can only imagine how awful it would be to not be able to talk to anyone about what happened.
Would you be able to tell us a little more about Jane? Honestly, I don’t think you’re going to get a satisfying explanation from anyone but her, but I can try and guess.
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Lilybear_1221
6 months ago
Thank you for your kind words, and for not just calling me stupid like many of the replies. I cannot say too much about Jane because she is very private person. But I will say she may be the person I admire most in this world. She is very good at what she does, and nobody takes our job as seriously as she does. She is very pretty, and I like the way she blushes when I tell her so, as if this is not obvious fact everyone with eyes can see.
For long time, I resented her for being so perfect. I have been learning English for many years even before moving to English-speaking country, and still I struggle, but then there is Jane easily giving speeches in multiple languages like it is easy. Her family is very supportive and loving, so she does not understand why I do not want to talk about my own, or why going home is difficult for me. Despite this, I forget sometimes that I am not supposed to like her.
Jane is very nervous person. Privacy is important to both of us, but Jane is the one who makes rules like we must delete all texts and photographs of eachother. She was very anxious in the beginning, she would tell me we cannot do this again, then send room number a few minutes later. Whenever Jane is in my city we meet at my apartment, but I have never been to Jane’s home.
I do not judge Jane for this. Her career means everything to her, and it would be in trouble if anyone knew about us.
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EthicalDiploma
6 months ago
It’s like super illegal to fire someone for being gay. Stop being dramatic, your careers will be fine 🙄
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QueerlyBrisk
6 months ago
Bro you don’t even know where they live or what they do, you have no idea what laws apply here. Besides, just because something is illegal, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Companies love a loophole.
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13 more replies
lying_folklore
6 months ago
You have never been to her house? Does she book a hotel every time you’re in town? Anyone thinking what I’m thinking👀
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TiredFramework
6 months ago
That, Jane is definitely married? 100%
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lilybear_1221
6 months ago
Jane is not married. There is very little privacy in our career. I would know if she was seeing someone.
And no, she does not book hotel room every time. Jane bought a building she insists is an “investment opportunity” that she will be renovating and renting out. We have been “temporarily” using one of the apartments, whenever I am in town to have secret gay sex for half a decade, while she insists she will start renovation any day now.
At first, I was excited because I hadn’t heard from her in months, and I was sure she was done with me, but instead, she had spent her time buying us property and renovating a bedroom for us. Now, it makes me sort of sad to think how much effort Jane has put into keeping me out of her life. This is embarrassing, but so is entire post, but sometimes I stay up at night and imagine what Jane’s home looks like, what shade of beige she has painted her walls, and imagine her perfectly making her bed every morning, and wonder what colour her bedsheets are.
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TiredFramework
6 months ago
Damn okay so Jane is RICH RICH
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LesbianJesusLives
6 months ago
A WHOLE BUILDING? How many apartments are sitting empty so Miss Thing can secretly scissor her coworker???
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ExtensiveSnake
6 months ago
DURING A HOUSING CRISIS? Jane, sweetie, idk how to defend this…
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burn_the_midnight_oil
6 months ago
Jane’s a landlord??? NTA She’s the problem.
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HighAttraction
6 months ago
Wrong thread.
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burn_the_midnight_oil
6 months ago
I don’t care.
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6 more replies
HighAttraction
6 months ago
Also, she’d have to actually rent out her apartments to count as a landlord.
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emaciated_witchcraft
6 months ago
#WomenInMensFields! A lesbian spending ridiculous amounts of money to hide her affair. Representation matters!
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adolescent_staircase
6 months ago
I know OP said Jane isn’t married…but Jane is definitely married.
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26 more replies
HighAttraction
6 months ago
Secret gay sex building aside… that is not how you talk about a casual hook up.
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lilybear_1221
6 months ago
Yes, it is, because it is how I am talking about mine.
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HighAttraction
6 months ago
Okay, tell us about that best friend you hook up with then, or any of your other casual relationships. Does it feel the same with them as it does with Jane?
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Lilybear_1221
6 months ago
How I feel about Jane does not matter. Being together is not an option for us, so is pointless to think about.
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QueerlyBrisk
6 months ago
Even if that’s true, ignoring your feelings never helps. If you are heartbroken, you are never going to heal if you don’t let yourself acknowledge how you are feeling.
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4 more replies
fishing_for_a_compliment
6 months ago
How long has she been ignoring you now? You said she had ignored you for months before you found out about the building. Maybe she just needs time?
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TediousCustard
6 months ago
Do we think she’s buying a building in OP’s town, too?
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adolescent_staircase
6 months ago
Lol I wouldn’t be surprised. Having Lily in her house was apparently too much for her, maybe being in Lily’s home freaked her out for the same reasons 🤷♀️
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lilybear_1221
6 months ago
It has been five days. Jane and I used to go much longer without talking. I admit I once ignored Jane for six months, and I cannot blame Jane if she does the same to me.
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adolescent_staircase
6 months ago
Girl you ghosted her for SIX months, and she took you back??
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QueerlyBrisk
6 months ago
Can I just ask why you ignored her then? Could she have similar reasons for ignoring you?
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lilybear_1221
6 months ago
I was scared. Maybe you are right, maybe Jane is scared too.
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