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Light Yagami was the first born son. That was something a lot of people believed, from his classmates to his distant relatives. But their family history was a bit more messy than that. Yes, theirs.
L didn’t look like Light much, no, actually not at all. L barely looked like his own mother, Sachiko. L’s birth had been one of shame, as his mom had him when she was seventeen, before she met Soichiro.
L never knew his real father, as he left before he knew she was pregnant with him. She had hopes to find him, which was the reason L got his fathers last name and not hers. She always told him he was the spitting image of his biological parent, but that had only made him curious to meet the man a little bit.
As he never had a real reason to want to, because Soichiro was the man he was raised by. Even before their marriage, Soichiro had taken it upon himself to help Sachiko with raising L. Since he was one years old, Soichiro had been there to see his first steps, hear his first word and take him to school on his first day.
He would never want to devalue his fathers title as his dad by calling another man his ‘real’ dad when all he shared with that unknown man was genes. They had Light when he was seven years old, that day in the hospital waiting room a vivid memory for L.
He remembered tensing up at the sounds of his mom screaming, covering his ears at some moments. He was alone, as his dad was comforting Sachiko in the delivery room. The first thing he noticed about Light was how peaceful he looked while sleeping in the bassinet when L had finally gone in there to look.
He was a red, small bundle. L knew the definition of cute, so he supposed Light would be considered a cute baby. Born right on time on his determined delivery date, not too early and not late.
And that's how the rest of Light's life was similar to.
His parents had been majorly surprised at how brilliant L turned out to be, especially how odd. Maybe that was the real reason even some of their relatives didn’t know about the Yagamis family's third child.
Even though his last name was Lawliet, he would always be a Yagami. Soichiro and Sachiko made that clear. The way he sat, his mannerisms, his tendency to ignore social norms made making friends impossible for L.
His name as well, because why was his name the only letter that didn’t exist in Japanese? He had asked his mother a long time ago what had caused her to name him a single letter. Her answer was a shrug and a soft smile, saying that she had wanted a girl, and to name her eloise. It would be odd to name a boy that, so she thought such a pretty letter like L was enough.
It was special to her in an odd way, and that odd way had bled into his life.
His brother had followed him around almost everywhere he went, extremely upset when L would go to school and not skip just to be with him. L was the one to bring Light to school on his first day.
He was also the one who heard Lights first word, the only thing that came a little later than most babies. He was a 1 year old when he babbled ‘L’, making grabby hands at his face. Light had giggled at his smile, despite how his cousin at the kitchen table said he looked creepy.
He could tell from a young age that Light would be a smart boy, knowing far earlier than their parents did. Light was a clingy child, but only to him. He was chatty, sometimes annoying L to no end.
Sayu came four years later after Light, and L noticed the behavior differences between the two of his younger siblings. Sayu wasn’t as nearly clingy with L as Light was, and not as… possessive? That was the word L would use, although their parents simply said he loved him a lot.
But he knew they ignored how angry Light had gotten when L brought home a girl that was assigned to work with him in their finals project one year. He saw them and stormed upstairs, refusing to talk with anyone for the rest of the day. After that, something happened that made the girl refuse to even look in L’s direction.
He had a sneaking suspicion that Light had done something, but never pushed the issue. He didn’t care, so it didn’t matter how self-satisfied Light looked when L started to work on the project alone.
L hadn’t moved out of their home yet though, even as his 24th birthday approached. He didn’t have a job either, but it wasn’t like he was freeloading off his parents. Quite the opposite, as he made a lot of money off of investments. Smart choices led him to become a millionaire, although he didn’t tell his parents that.
They knew he had money though, as L paid all their house expenses and for groceries. He didn’t really have a reason to move out other than he was growing up, but another was because he hadn’t gone to college.
Not that he particularly wanted to, but also not because he wanted to disappoint his parents. Rather because, Light sabotaged all his applications. L had a few theories on how Light did it, but he was more interested in the why.
Someone as smart as his little brother would know how to get the top colleges in the world to reject someone as brilliant as L, but why had he done it? His parents had been so flabbergasted when their son, a top student of Japan, was rejected by his three applications for top tier colleges that had been singing praises to him when he was in high school.
L had asked him, of course, because why would his golden child baby brother do that? Light had gotten defensive and hurt when he asked, as he ‘wanted nothing more than for L to succeed in life.’
He didn’t believe it for a second, especially when he tried moving out and Light recommended homes that were only as far as 20 minutes away on foot. Light had become more composed and mature when he entered middle school, not as whiny and clingy to L but that didn’t mean he was distant.
No, L thought the opposite. He was just a bit more interesting to talk to as Light gained the capacity to hold his ground in an argument. Maybe that was the reason L didn’t move out, he saw how desperate Light was for him not to leave.
Because then he would have no excuse to be constantly seeking out L’s presence.
So that's why he hadn’t moved out, but he would eventually. L kept his breathing steady, his form still on his bed in the dark. He could tell it was still late at night, as he fell asleep sometime during midnight but it was still dark out his window. Light stood outside his door, watching through a small crack. He’d been doing this a lot recently, and L was still puzzling out the reason for why.
Light seemed different, ever since he turned sixteen. Now a year later, his odd behavior hadn’t changed. Was it because he was worried that L would leave for good? No, Light would make sure that L could never leave forever.
The door clicked close after ten minutes, L staying still for another five to make sure he wouldn’t come back. L cracked his neck, sitting up slowly while glancing around at the shadows of a messy room he couldn’t see at the moment. He slid off his bed, tiptoeing to his computer to start his day.
Light complained about how he never left the house, so he supposed he should do something like that today. Meet new people and all. Although he suspects what Light meant by ‘getting out of the house’ was going out of the house with him.
L wouldn’t be doing that of course, it was a school day for his brother so L would have to go alone. His mother was constantly dropping hints that she wanted him to get a girlfriend, telling him about her friends' daughters or nice waitresses that she met at restaurants.
L was never interested in that sort of stuff, the only thing he could think of for a point to date someone was procreation. And he wasn’t interested in that, either. Light was the one who could carry on the Yagami bloodline, not him.
His feet perched up on his chair dug into the fabric for a moment, looking at a library that was open until 11 PM at night, opening at 9 AM. His eyes flicked to the clock, 2:34 AM. Well, he could go sometime during lunch.
L sat in a lone corner surrounded by books that caught his attention, flipping through pages to get to the topic he was interested in when his phone buzzed. He reached in his pocket, flipping it open and holding it in front of his face to see the message.
‘Where are you? Your location is off and mom said you’re out of the house.’
Light's text made an unsettling grin grow on his face, merely because Light was admitting to stalking his ‘share your location’ app. It was about lunch time which meant his brother wasn’t in class, so it made sense Light was on his phone. He started to type before hitting send.
‘I’m on a date.’
He wondered what Light's face would look like at that. How would he respond? Would he tattle on him to their mom? Typing bubbles started for a moment before stopping, and then starting up again.
‘No you’re not. You wouldn’t have responded so fast.’
L hummed to himself, his fingers clicking the small buttons.
‘You’re right. I’m not, I’m at a library.’
Light probably wouldn’t believe him, considering his location was still off. He waited for a minute or two before clicking his phone closed. Light wouldn’t respond if he didn’t do so right away, so there was no bother in waiting.
His brother was probably fuming at the moment that the one occasion L decided to go out -he hadn’t in months- he decided to do so alone. L was a rat, as Light described, only coming out during the night greasy and annoying.
So going out during the daytime was rare for him, but he had to extend his knowledge sometime. L needed more information on computers and their internal systems, as he had spent most of his week so far hacking into the NPA’s data systems to solve cases for them.
It was exhilarating, to finally find a purpose. To revive cases from the cold, dead pits of the ‘unsolved’ folders. But he wasn’t nearly satisfied with that. No, he wanted more. He wanted to sink his teeth into investigations that he couldn’t touch because cases that had only been digitalized weren’t nearly as interesting as the ones kept lock and key.
He couldn’t give time sensitive orders to people through emails or orchestrate events to catch the culprit without being there himself to lead them, so he was trying to worm his way into them relying on him when they couldn’t do something themselves.
He spent the rest of the day researching, up until he was kicked out by the people closing up the library. The house was silent, L shutting the front door slowly. He toed off his slippers, his gaze moving to the kitchen which had the light on.
L walked over, his eyes landing on Light who was standing there with his arms crossed. He looked calm and composed, silently staring at L back. L’s gaze flitted to a bag of white powder on the counter next to him.
He felt a heavy beat in his chest at that, feeling his chest tighten in slight alarm. He’d forgotten to dispose of that.
Three days ago, he had done investigating on his own to catch the culprit of serial murder cases. People who had been buying illegal drugs from a specific seller had been getting murdered while helpless in their homes or wherever while on the substance, and the only way L could think of catching the man was pretending to be a buyer himself.
The man was now detained thanks to L’s efforts of finding his real face and subsequently giving a tip to the police to raid his home. They found a sticker printer with the same logo the bags for the drugs the victims had been on when murdered, and all his murder weapons.
Now that logo’d bag was sitting innocently on the counter next to Light, making L narrow his eyes while he approached.
“How far you’ve fallen, L. Really, you’re resorting to destroying your body to cope with your depression? What would mom think?” Light shook his head, his tone laden with disappointment. L scoffed.
“You and I both know that’s not why I have that. I even have proof that I’m the one who gave the tip to the NPA about that serial killer.” L didn’t like what Light was doing at the moment, and the small little smile he had wasn’t comforting.
“No you don’t. You delete any traces of your presence whenever you send something to the NPA.”
He gritted his teeth, exhaling slowly. “You’re not allowed in my room, Light.”
His brother raised an eyebrow. “And you’re not allowed illegal substances, yet here we are.”
L pushed his thumb against his lip. “You don’t have any proof that you got that from my room.” His monotone voice was a little strained, and a wicked expression lit up on Light's face at that. He pulled a voice recorder out of his sleeve, pressing a button to play the audio back.
“You don’t have any proof that you got that from my room.” His own voice echoed back to him, mocking as it was taken out of context. A fit of unruly emotion flared up in his chest, his expression twisting into something ugly as he lunged at Light. He attempted to grab the small device, Light twisting out of the way before L tripped him.
He tried to dive and grab the device out of his hand when Light was on the ground, getting kicked in the stomach in response. A wheeze was drawn out of him before he gathered his bearings. L ground his teeth as he punched the smug look off his brother's face, grabbing and twisting Light's arm while shoving his body against the harsh edge of the counter.
Light yelped in pain at that, his grip loosening around it as blood dripped down his nose. L felt a moment of satisfaction at that, at seeing Light who was trying to plot against him getting karma before his head was bumped hard by the back of Lights.
He grunted while losing his balance, his vision swimming for a moment. Light elbowed him in the stomach, making him throw another punch to Light's face. This time it landed on his eye, causing his brother to drop the recorder. L dove for it at the same time as Light, his younger brother wrestling L on the ground as they struggled to keep the other from getting to it first.
Light had him in a headlock, which made him open his mouth wide and sink his teeth hard into his brother's arm. He tasted copper quickly, which accompanied Light's yelp of pain. He didn’t get to appreciate it for long though as Light screamed.
“Dad! L’s attacking me!” It was loud and frightened, demanding attention as it rang out throughout the house. L felt a jolt of panic as Light released him and scrambled backwards, giving him a look of fear.
Damn. Light didn’t look too good at the moment with a bleeding and bruised arm, bloody nose and black eye. In comparison, L probably only had a bruise on his stomach and forehead. The sound of multiple footsteps rushing down the stairs made him wish he had seen this coming.
“L! What the hell are you doing?!” Their father screeched, L slowly backing away from Light. Soichiro's gaze landed on the scared looking and injured Light, and over to the baggy of drugs on the counter. Light spoke before L could.
“Dad! I was just trying to help L and talk to him about why he had drugs in his room and then he got violent out of nowhere after I said I couldn’t promise him to stay quiet about it!” Light sounded perfectly like the noble honors student he was at the moment, painting L as the villain here.
The evidence wasn’t looking too good on L’s part.
- ◌•◌•★•◌•◌•
That’s how they ended up here, L gazing out the circle shaped window of the suite he was staying in on the cruise ship. That incident happened three months ago, L having gotten a harsh punishment by their parents for all that time. They took away all his electronics and nearly kicked him out of the house, his dad forcing him to do community service like volunteering to clean out rivers.
Stuff that he resented, physical labor. Absolutely vile, his younger brother was. And now as his ‘reward’ for putting in effort to ‘change’ his family forced him to go with them to their yearly winter break trip. This time instead of choosing to visit family on the islands they were on a week long cruise.
Light was out in the dining hall with their parents and Sayu at the moment, L alone in their shared suite. L pitched in for half of the costs, getting Sayu her own suite while their parents shared one.
Which left him to share one with Light, the very asshole that got him into this mess. At least the sweets were good here, although that was the only good thing he could think of.
L turned around, the button up shirt he was wearing not much different from his usual long sleeved tee. The dress pants were a bit more uncomfortable than his jeans, but he could deal with it. He put on slippers, his slouched form shuffling out the door. He put the keycard in his pocket, taking his time to walk through the halls. After a couple flights of stairs he made it to the dining hall, spotting his family from across the room.
Sayu's face lit up at the sight of him when he was near. “Big brother! I’m glad you finally came out of the room.” Her cheery voice made him smile, his gaze going over to where Light was eating beside her.
“I was hoping to catch the server while you guys order dessert. You’re all almost done, right?” He hummed, taking a seat beside his dad. Soichiro smiled at him, nodding. Light was across from him, mirroring their dads nod. “How are you liking the trip so far, dear?” Sachiko asked merrily.
L had only exited the room once so far to see them, and they were now on day three of this glorified punishment. “It’s been going good, L just gets motion sickness every night.” Light laughed softly, cutting L’s reply off. He rolled his eyes.
“Yes, everything is just swell, except for the sickness.” He muttered in agitation. He didn’t want to be reminded of Light holding his hair back as he puked in the toilet, his clammy hands gripping the edges of the bowl. Unable to tell Light to stop rubbing the small of his back ‘comfortingly’ as his sweets made their departure out of his body through the wrong way.
“Oh I’m sorry dear, I didn’t know you got sea sick.” His mother sighed in empathy, reaching out a hand to rest on L’s. She eventually took it back when the waiter came by to check on them to see if they were ready for dessert.
After their orders were taken, Sayu's face lit up as an idea popped up. “Hey! Since you’re already out here, come with me and Light to go swimming in the pool.” She asked eagerly, her face bright at the thought of spending time with them both. “Mom and Dad always spend too much time in the hot tub to play with me.” She whined.
“It’s because they don’t want to.” Light crossed his arms, leaning back. Sayu huffed, looking at L expectantly. He raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think I want to either?” His monotone voice made her puppy eyes turn indignant.
“You spend time with Light whenever he asks! When was the last time you took me shopping when you promised you would soon?” Her accusing voice made a cheeky smile appear on his face.
“You never ask.” He pointed out, making her gasp.
“Last time you called me annoying and said you wouldn’t do it if I kept reminding you.” Her face turned into a pout, crossing her arms like Light to sulk. He laughed softly, waggling his finger while tsking.
“You call me the anti-social one when you couldn’t even tell I was joking? How hypocritical of you Sayu.” L sighed in mock disappointment. Light cut Sayu off before she could retort.
“Alright alright, stop arguing guys. L, it sounds like you owe Sayu some quality time. It's been a while since me and you hung out too.” Light reasoned, Sayu nodding along at their brother's flawless logic.
He grumbled, hands tightening on his knees before the waiter arrived with a platter of desserts, all mostly L’s and Sayus.
One thing he and his sister had in common was their love for sweets.
L toweled off in their suite, the bathroom steamy from the shower he took to get the chlorine off his body after swimming with his siblings. He had some shorts on, walking over to his suitcase to grab a pair of jeans and his white long sleeve T shirt. He felt eyes on his back, goosebumps rising on his skin when he glanced over to Light.
His brother was merely dressing too, so he turned back to getting dressed as well. “I still don’t get why you went through all that trouble to make me go on this trip.” He grumbled, his back turned.
Light hummed. “What, I don’t get to spend time with you?” Light shot back innocently. L glared at him. “Right, because ruining my reputation and manipulating our parents to believe I'm the bad guy is nothing but noble.”
Light laughed, not confirming nor denying L’s statement. “You should get some sleep earlier tonight, there’s going to be a show in the morning on the top decks.” His brother advised in his usual perfect son tone.
He was planning to do that since swimming made him tired, but something about doing what Light told him irked him. “Actually, I was planning to have a walk around the ship.” After a pause he added, “Alone.”
Light looked at him with a bit of surprise, sighing while shaking his head before laying down on his bed. L walked out of the room barefoot, walking down the hallway and pausing there for ten minutes just to make sure Light wouldn’t follow him.
Once he was satisfied, he started to walk through random doors and hallways that were normally hidden from regular people unless you had specific suites. He found special lounge rooms and bought sweets there, eating a strawberry shortcake slice while he continued his walk.
Soon he found himself in the lower decks, an area he was definitely not allowed in. But there was no sign saying otherwise, so he continued examining the machinery that kept the power running and the ship moving.
L was biting his thumb when it happened. His right arm, the one that he used for everything as he hadn’t had a reason not to. Walking through the metal halls with multiple pipes surrounding him, one of them burst.
Unbeknownst to him, a bunch of kids were clogging a pipe that pushed out water for fun, using everything and anything to keep the water from escaping. But pressure had been building, and the only escape route for said pressure was in the weakest point in the pipe. He had just been unlucky enough to be right next to it when it happened.
The pipe hit his side. It happened so quickly, water spraying everywhere while alarms blared. It was hurting his ears. But when he tried to cover them, he found that only one side was getting muffled. Why was his shirt red? Water was gathering at his feet, and then he heard the sounds of screams and shouting. Why were they screaming? Just turn off the damn water…
He was starting to get lightheaded, noticing the redness at his side was getting more out of hand. He tried to reach down to pat his side but… nothing happened. His arm didn’t move to see where the blood was coming from, and as he looked down the hallway to where paramedics were rushing towards him, he realized five feet away from him was his arm.
His arm had been cut off dangerously close to his shoulder.
- ◌•◌•★•◌•◌•
L woke up hazy and confused, his vision blurry for a second. It took him a couple of moments to gather his thoughts and assess the situation. He realized with an empty pang in his chest that his arm was… gone. They hadn’t stitched it back on, so he would have to ask for the details.
He looked over to Light who was holding his remaining hand, the back of it pressed against his forehead. He looked haunted, L spoke up raspily. “Whe-wheres the others?” He mumbled.
Light looked up sadly. “Mom didn’t want to see you like this, so dads with her. He told Sayu to return to the room to sleep an hour ago. We’re almost back on land.” He finished solemnly. L thought about it before asking.
“Where is my arm now?” He pondered, what was being done with his arm?
Light looked at him strangely. “How the hell should I know? They weren’t able to stitch it back on because it wasn’t a clean cut when that pipe burst.”
L hummed, thinking about holding it. “Go ask the doctors to bring it here before they get the chance to dispose or disinfect it. I want to hold it.” He said monotone, making Light give him a confused look before standing up to reluctantly go do so.
It took twenty minutes, which L deduced was likely Light arguing with them. L looked over to his side, examining the thick bandages that covered his shoulder and wrapped around his waist. He looked back over when Light came in the room with a black bag that was tied up labeled ‘evidence.’ He looked uncomfortable.
“Here.” Light dropped the bag next to L’s side, helping L sit up after he attempted to. L pulled the bag onto his lap, ripping it open with his teeth. Blood spilt out from the inside, getting the bed ruined. Light gasped in shock, looking away for a moment. L pulled it out tentatively, looking at the limb curiously. He could see the stitches closing up the wound on the arm so it wouldn’t bleed much, although there was still plenty on his lap, soaking through the blankets.
“Help me up so I can wash it off.” He requested smoothly, making Light give him a look of disgust but helping him stand nonetheless. When L was washing the blood off his detached limb Light stood off to the side.
“You’re fucking weird.” His brother muttered, exasperated at L’s odd way of approaching this. L took some time toweling it off, as moving it around was hard with only one hand. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, tracing the soft, pale skin of his detached arm.
He held his own hand, interlacing his fingers with the cold ones. However, the stiff appendages did not curl back around his own as they usually would. His arm was really gone. Then a sudden idea popped in his mind before he solidified it.
“I’m going to eat this.” He declared firmly, making Light sputter in shock. “No the fuck you’re not?” His brother protested, looking at L incredulously. L simply stared back blankly, tracing the cold veins of his dead arm.
“Yes I am. This is my arm, cannibalism is legal in the US as long as you didn’t murder to get it. That’s where the cruise ship is parking soon, isn’t it?” L had already calculated where the cruise ship had been in the sea and what country was closest to it when he lost his arm.
Light looked beyond disgusted now, his face scrunched up. “How the hell would you even eat it?”
“Hm, I suppose I could hire a butcher desperate for money to prepare it into ground meat. Then in light of embracing America's diverse culture with their neighbors, I’ll ask someone to make it into tacos for me.” He grinned at Light. “Money is everything you know.” He’s sure his brother knows how rich he is, considering Light asked to have some all the time.
“Now I’m glad Sayu isn’t here. She’d either be asking if she could have a taco too or throwing up.” Light shuddered, not looking far from the latter himself.
“Do you want a taco?” He questioned innocently, a small smile on his lips.
“No!”
- ◌•◌•★•◌•◌•
L went through months of therapy, much to his protest, both physical and mental to cope with his lost arm. His father pleaded with him to go to the sessions, and he couldn’t refuse such a request from his dad. Light always accompanied him on the sessions, sometimes even waiting in the lobby when the therapist requested to have a one on one with L.
It helped, a little bit, he supposed. Light constantly being there, to an obsessive degree to help him made him a little uneasy. That didn’t mean he didn’t want Light's help, he just thought waking up to Light curled against him in the middle of the night like his brother did when they were younger was odd.
Light got closer to him instead of farther as he graduated, going to To-oh University. Light was the first person to see L’s arm without its bandages, silently pressing his forehead against L’s shoulder in mourning. L thought it was a pretty emotional and monumental moment, despite no words being spoken. Just quiet acknowledgment of one another, and how Light had helped him.
Looking at the fleshy, pale nub was a bit disorientating for L, but Light pressing his forehead against his shoulder and showing that he was still L to him, limb or not was reassuring. Light was gentler to him after that, too. Light didn’t look for fights with him anymore, knowing it would probably irk L to be reminded he was significantly disadvantaged now.
He decided to slowly climb the ranks of taking on cases with the NPA instead of forcing his way into the position he deserved after that. He wasn’t going for the title Chief, No, he was going for having the authority to take on any cases he wanted and having the national police force to back him up.
Light went to college to learn law, something he knew his brother would do.
Then heart attacks all across the globe started happening. Criminals, incarcerated or on the run, were dying left and right.
L’s first instinct was to look into prison supply centers to see if a disease was spreading around to infect them, but when no guards in the prisons were reported to suffer from heart attacks he grew skeptical. And when criminals on the run started suffering heart attacks he knew that it had to be murders.
Someone out there probably thought they were doing good to the world. It made him sick. L had spent the fifth day of these murders arguing with his dad to let him lead the case. He knew he could handle it, that he could get them going somewhere with the investigation if they just took him seriously.
But his dad didn’t look at him the same after he lost his arm. Nobody did. The first thing strangers looked at when they saw him was his arm. The first thing they asked was how he lost his arm, giving their pities to him as if he needed it.
As if he wasn’t doing perfectly fine without it. Sure, it took a while to become left handed but that was a battle long overcome. It was like he lost a pivotal part of his being to other people, almost as if he was somehow lesser now that he had one arm.
It was infuriating, and he confronted his father about it. Except he remained adamant about not letting him take on this ‘dangerous’ case.
What L knew was that the first murder happened in Kanto, because a man had a spontaneous heart attack on live television after holding people in a pre-school hostage. But no one was listening to him.
He realized after listening to one of his brothers and mothers conversations secretly that he was planting the idea in people's heads that he was helpless. Listening to Light talk about his ‘melancholy’ and ‘depression’ was unbearable. Was that the reason why his father begged him to go to therapy five months ago?
Light had been going behind his back and telling people all these lies about him.
It didn’t help that he was somewhat proving Lights words true with how he’s been refusing to leave the house for anything nowadays. He didn’t want to explain to strangers over and over again the story of losing his arm.
He glared at Light reading a book on the end of his bed, laid back while L had his laptop. Light noticed his look after a couple of moments, blinking at him innocently.
“Why are you lying to people about my mental health?” He deadpanned, making Light shrug.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m simply telling them what I see.” His brother said in that stupid tone he hated. L huffed, looking down at his laptop.
“Dad’s been talking about letting you join in on the case but refuses to even mention it when I’m in the room. Stop tricking them, it’s pathetic for Light-kun to stoop to such levels.” He murmured, sending a message on his laptop to a house seller in Yokohama.
Light rolled his eyes, holding his book. “Maybe he just doesn’t want your criminal reputation to get out.”
L stared as his deal was accepted almost immediately by the buyer after he offered twice the price of what they were selling the house for.
“I’m moving tomorrow.” He announced suddenly, making Light's relaxed posture tense up. He shot up from where he was laying, unable to stop himself.
“What?!” Hearing his panicked voice made L smile.
“Yes, the dealer just accepted the price I offered. The transaction is being processed right now.” He shifted from where he was sitting, his typing slow with just one hand. He heard his brother suck in a breath before releasing it slowly. His voice was calm and measured.
“Where are you moving? Why now?”
He hummed, tilting his head. “Well, I’m sure Light-kun knows I'm getting a bit old to live with our parents. I’m moving to Yokohama.”
Light's silent contemplation was clear in the air. If L left for Yokohama the most he could see was him was during the weekends now that Light was starting university. Unless he swapped universities, but it would be a bit awkward considering he nailed the entrance exam for To-oh and presented a speech there.
He scoffed, shutting the book and standing up to walk out. He paused at the door, back turned and tone scornful. “Good for you.”
L wondered if Light would scheme again to make him stay, but his brother came back later to help him pack up when L complained he couldn’t lift the boxes with one arm. Light was cold and distant to L, not even bothering to hug him goodbye the next morning when L was leaving and hugging their parents and sister.
His father didn’t voice his concerns for L being on his own now, but it was clear on his face. Especially after Light wormed his way into their minds about L’s mental health. Kira’s killings spiked that day, L checking the news to see how many more heart attack victims Kira had ended.
It seemed the next few weeks were uneventful, L hacking into the NPA’s data system to see that they had gotten nowhere in the Kira case. People were pointing fingers at corrupt corporations or politicians that advocated for harsher punishments on criminals.
L knew he could help, but for now he would let them see that they needed help. Light hadn’t visited him once in the past month of him finally ‘leaving the nest’, as his mother put it. Sayu had come around with their mother twice, their father unable to do so because he was stuck in the office because of the Kira case.
Sayu told him Light had joined the taskforce to help catch Kira a week ago, but so far no leads sprung up.
Honestly, he wasn’t expecting to see Light for a long while, but he saw him the next weekend. Light arrived around five PM, L opening the door slowly. A smile crept on his face as Light admitted defeat by coming here. Light started with pleasantries, acting nice with a warm smile before L closed the front door behind him.
Then he was getting dragged by his collar upstairs to his room. It was messy, as he was used to asking Light to clean it but his brother ignored it as he was shoved to the floor. He rolled and sprung up, blocking Light's swipe to grab his hair in another attempt to get him down.
He tackled Light's legs, toppling him over. Light kicked his side harshly, making him wince. He twisted his brother's ankle, trying to break it while Light in turn slammed his other leg onto his shoulder.
L yelped, gasping and flinching back as sparks of white hot pain flared in that area, the shoulder that had lost the limb it was attached to five months ago. Light took the opprotunity to shove him onto his stomach, pressing his face into the carpet while digging his knee into the small of L’s back.
He knew he should’ve gone with a swing instead of a tackle, that was when he lost the fight, when he hesitated to hurt Light. Because Light certainly didn’t.
Light pulled his hair hard, dragging him up and restraining his flailing body before pushing him onto his own unmade bed.
“What is Light-kun doing-”
“Doesn’t it hurt L, to lose a fight? To be too tired to get someone else off of you?” Light sneered, looking down at him. He was panting, and unfortunately that was exactly what was happening.
All of their fights in the past ended up with Light bloody and bruised on the floor, with L being in the same condition sometimes, but Light on the floor regardless. L was always stronger and knew how to fight, mostly because he was a grown adult, not because he had muscles.
Far from it, he had twigs actually. L rarely lost fights, and the only times he had was when he was inconvenienced by something. And now it was kind of hard to fight with one arm.
Light's fingers dug into his ribs on the side of his waist where his arm was gone, looking down at the visible bone structure with disgust. L’s hand pinned above his head was starting to turn a bit pink, Lights hold too tight. L choked, whining and throwing his head back in pain as he thought Light was actually going to break his ribs for a moment when his brother suddenly let him go.
He only caught a glimpse of Light's surprised face before he scoffed, staring down at L and then turning away. “You’re pathetic.”
Light left immediately after, L miffed at being used as a punching bag and not even getting to have a conversation with him.
- ◌•◌•★•◌•◌•
L stared down at the sake bottle Light had brought during his next visit a week later, raising one of the muscles above his eye in questioning. Light shrugged, setting down the little glasses that they would drink shots of it in.
They just had dinner, arguing about a topic Light was majoring in. The moral ethics of the law regarding execution and what crimes deserved such a punishment, to which he and his brother had very different opinions.
Which was odd, but L couldn’t place a finger on why as he stared at Light who believed far harsher punishments should be given to criminals more often.
“You know I don’t drink alcohol.” He murmured, irritated and unimpressed. Light had that fake little smile, pouring some into L’s cup before doing so for himself as well.
“Well, it’s common etiquette to bond over a glass of alcohol to truly get to know a person. Why don’t you want to be closer with me?” His brother asked innocently, as if L couldn’t sense his ulterior motives.
“Right, as if I would drink just because you asked.” He quipped back, Light tilting his head.
“How about we play games of rock paper scissors to decide who takes a shot? Like this, it's possible that you won’t have to take a shot at all.” Lights expression grew dark, a shiver rolling through L at the offer. It would be fun to poke at Lights brain if he was intoxicated, but the likelihood of L getting intoxicated as well was high.
He wondered minutely why Light would take such a gamble as to throw his chances up to luck, for whatever he was planning to work, L deduced Light wanted him to be drunk. Maybe it didn’t matter if it happened today or not? Maybe Light was planning to kill him, but was in no haste to do it.
He chewed on his left thumb, staring at Light's hand that was showing his palm facing upwards with his other hand on top of it forming a fist. Odd, now that he thought about it. He would never be able to do that classic position again, only able to make his left hand into a fist and then throw whatever he picked instead of hitting his other palm on the three bounces one typically did while saying the words.
He thought about it for a couple more moments before deciding the worst Light could do was kill him. He presented his left fist.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot.”
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot.”
They said in unison, Lights hand going for paper while L picked rock. He rolled his eyes, taking a shot from what was in front of him. They played again after a second, repeating those words. This time Light chose rock while L chose scissors.
The sting of the second shot was unpleasant. L proceeded to lose five times in a row, getting more and more frustrated and shocked with each shot he took. However, he didn’t think about stopping as more alcohol entered his system and he became more determined to make sure he was not the only one to get drunk.
Light lost finally on their eighth round, taking the first shot from his untouched glass from when he first poured them some. They continued playing, and L ended up taking three more shots while Light took two more.
He felt wasted by the time the bottle of sake was gone, his head resting against the table in defeat. His movements were sluggish, while Light looked completely unaffected. His vision was a bit woozy, glaring at Light's self-satisfied look at his luck.
Unfortunately, even Gods favored his brother when it came to the two of them.
His brother had to be tipsy, but that wasn’t even close to the victory Light was having at the moment. L had no win here, and that made him more pissed off. Light smirked lazily at him, their conversation having led back to what their mother was trying to get L to do.
“Yeah yeah, as if any woman would willingly approach you.” Light rolled his eyes at one of L’s denials.
“I’m just not interested innn that sorta s-tuff. I could get a girlfriend if I wanted…” L huffed, glaring at Light from where he had his head rested on the coffee table.
“But you would have to put in effort, do women flock to you?” His brother leaned back against the couch, his arms out as he pointed to himself, bragging.
L sat up. “Why gloat if you- you reject all of 'em?” His speech was slurred, realizing just how far gone he was with a sigh. Light shrugged.
“I don’t need to validate their feelings to still be a romance magnet.” He snickered, probably thinking about something.
“Yah, cuz’ you’re so romantic.” L was recalling when Light cursed upon the holiday valentines day when he was constantly getting stopped in the hallway by girls confessing to him, getting meaner and meaner with each rejection.
L was picking him up from school that day and stopped by his classroom to walk him out to the car, silently enjoying watching his brother get annoyed. When they got home, he threw away all the chocolates and love letters, not bothering to read them.
Light then proceeded to read L’s college application forms after L told him he wanted to go to England to study abroad. Light was eleven at the time, brutally criticizing the universities L chose and his applications.
That's how he knew his little shit brother was the one to sabotage it.
That comment seemed to irritate Light for whatever reason, L not really processing things properly anymore as it flew over his head on why Light was staring at him. His brother looked like he was stopping himself from saying something, gripping his knee so hard L thought it would bruise.
Would it? He didn’t care, he was glad Light was mad. It boiled over at the dumb look L was giving him, standing up as he decided something then and there. Light rounded the coffee table and grabbed L’s arm that was laying limply by his side, tugging him to his feet as he began to drag him somewhere.
L stumbled, his balance off center with how his head was spinning. “Lemme… Go to bed.” He murmured, blinking dazedly as Light brought him up stairs. Light was keeping him upright while they entered the room, L’s brain unfortunately too slow.
His brother pushed him onto his messy bed, hissing as he landed on his shoulder. He glanced up at Light crawling on top of him, squirming to get away. His hand gripped uselessly on the sheets covered in sweet crumbs, Light scoffing at the mess.
He pulled L’s ankle, yanking him off the bed. L slid down and hit the floor with a thud, whacking Light's leg indignantly. He ignored him, lifting the sheets up to dust it off, waving it into the air until all the dirty food crumbs were on the other side of the floor, something Light would probably sweep later.
It reminded him of when they used to sleep in the same bed occasionally, when his brother was younger. Light would crawl into his bed in the middle of the night when L would be studying, falling asleep next to where he was crouched to the sound of paper moving.
Light said he had trouble sleeping because he was scared to be alone in the dark, but both of them knew that was bullshit. The lie got less plausible until Light stopped doing it when he was nine.
Now he wondered if Light would tuck him into bed with a lopsided smile, in his head, ignoring the way Light impatiently tucked the sheets back under the mattress. His hair was yanked along with his arm.
“Fuck off!” His vulgar language was slurred, something he rarely used when talking. He tried to swing his arm back at Light's face until he used his body to pin L down on the semi-clean bed.
Light pinned his arm behind his back, the action easy to do when he only had one thing to fight against. L’s legs felt heavy and useless, uncoordinated with L drunk. Light straddled his thighs, shoving his head into the sheets. L wondered why his punches and hits weren’t coming until he felt Lights hips press into his ass.
The hard on grinding into him couldn’t be more clear, Light letting out frustrated puffs of air against L’s frozen form. The sheets were cold beneath him, but L wasn’t registering that as he started to struggle with renewed vigor.
“You sick fuck-” He gasped out, gritting his teeth as the agitation sobered him up a little. Light was still stronger though, no matter the circumstance. And that would never change. Light firmed his hold, gripping hard as he got more worked up.
Nausea plagued the alcohol floating around in his stomach, his face paling while his eyes dilated. Light pulled his hair, drawing a whine from L at the pain. His hair getting tugged hurt. Light groaned, rolling his hips against L’s ass, ignoring the way his brother squirmed and bucked underneath.
“Stop!” He grunted out, the situation getting dire as his brother showed no signs of stopping.
His brother.
Sweet, innocent, young and bright, Light Yagami.
Evil, conniving, cunning, malicious and bratty Light Yagami.
His brother who always got what he wanted. Fame, looks, women, good grades, supportive parents, an amazing college, a bright future-
What would their parents think of Light right now? Holding their poor, depressed, weak and broken son down? All the things Light has been telling them these past months since L lost his arm, carving the idea that L was helpless into their minds.
The reason why their mother visited almost weekly to drop off home cooked meals that would last a couple of days. L ate them sometimes, but opted for his usual diet instead most of the time.
Light let go of his head to start tugging L’s pants off, to which he flattened his hips against the bed to make it as difficult as possible for him to get them off. Light dug his knee into L’s back until L was sure it would bruise, finally relenting and unable to stop his brother from pulling both his underwear and jeans off. They bunched at his knees, Light not really caring as he stared at L’s ass.
His skin bruised so easily, the small of L’s back turning a bit pink into purple from Light's knee. L choked, staring back at him with wide eyes. Light licked his lips.
“Have you lost your virginity?” His brother said breathily, clearly expecting L to be untouched. He laughed, a rough, wheezing sound that was more exasperation and pettiness than humor.
“Of course. I’m a grown man.” He found Lights' scowl funny, Light glaring down at him.
“Liar.” His brother hissed out, gripping L’s thigh. L wasn’t a virgin, but Light could believe whatever he wanted. L had experimented during high school to see if he would like it, as so many people gloated about how good it felt. He had never tried since, as it was a tedious and exhausting activity with temporary gratification.
Maybe all the Yagamis were fucked up, or maybe it was just them. L was sick and twisted in Light's mind, a monster, for eating his own arm after losing it.
Disgusting, he called L while watching him bite into a half raw piece of flesh. L had forced a spoonful of cooked human meat into Light's mouth, twisting and kicking each other until he forced his brother to swallow.
L still hasn’t gotten Light to admit it tasted good, he remembered how his brother hadn’t gagged.
But Light was a monster too, it had just been lurking all this time. He just hadn’t noticed what that monster was after.
He should’ve been more wary, distant, but he fed that monster inside Light generously over the years. Growing his obsession.
They were always too much with each other or too little, or not enough. Annoying the other with how much they took and took or give and give.
Like Light, who had always cleaned his room or did his laundry for him. L, who never denied Light his time. That was his greatest mistake of all, getting closer to the monster to try and figure out what it was after. Unknowingly feeding it until it consumed him.
He had zoned out, still thrashing weakly under Light when a lubed finger slowly wiggled into his ass. Honestly, if he and Light were to do this, he would’ve rather been on top. The stinging stretch of that one finger -more to come soon- was exactly why.
He gritted his teeth, hitting his head against the bed, his black hair surrounding him from where he was smushing his face. Light was being gentle, working the finger in and out slowly, moving it around and curling inside him. He was searching for something, leaning down and licking L’s neck, trying to coax him into relaxing.
L wasn’t going to be able to stop him, but he’d rather die than make this easy for Light and let him keep taking. He shuddered, a small noise escaping his throat when his brother's fingers nudged against something deep inside him.
Light sucked in a breath against his neck, sucking and nuzzling, clearly holding himself back. Because he was oh so fragile. Another finger pushed its way in, L wincing while Light slowly scissored his wet warmth.
L’s cock twitched in interest, heat building in his gut as Light continued to gently rub and thrust his fingers into his prostate. So caring, his dear brother was, even as he was taking what was never meant to be his.
He headbutted Light when he got the chance, so hard it made them both hiss. Light pulled his fingers out with a wet pop, and after a moment of satisfaction Light leaned down and bit his neck hard.
“Light!” He yelped, his jaw dropped as he felt his brother's teeth break the skin. He grunted in pain, his head feeling even more woozy as he recovered from his own attack, the alcohol not making it much better.
Light laughed against his skin, licking up the blood that was dripping off his shoulder onto the bed while his other hand moved back down to his ass. His hip was pinched meanly, a whine coming from his trembling lips.
He wanted to bite Light back, if only to leave a mark of his own to return the favor. Light still hadn’t admitted consuming L tasted good, even as he lapped at the wound in apology- a bit too eagerly.
His fingers entered much harsher this time, slipping a third one in without easing it. L’s thighs tensed as he let out a whimper, Light pulling his hair back so he couldn’t muffle it into the sheets.
His hand was finally free, so he tried to use it to crawl away. He was too weak at the moment, and the most he did was bunch them up. Lights fingers curled and thrust faster, making lewd squelching sounds. He wasn’t gently rubbing his prostate, hitting it meanly instead. It shot bursts of electricity up his spine, shaky moans leaving him.
His cock started to leak pre-come, hard and squished against the bed, pressing into his stomach as he avoided the urge to hump the sheets. So cruel, his dear brother was.
Light widened his three fingers inside L’s ass, watching his brother's rim stretch around the appendages and gape at the space his hand was making. It fluttered cutely as he curled them. He pulled them out, watching L’s hole clench weakly at the loss. He eased all three in at the same time slowly, licking his lips as he watched it open up.
Light had waited this long because he knew he wouldn’t be able to overpower L before, he would’ve ended up on bottom. But now? Fate must love him.
L’s small noises couldn’t be hidden, his head aching from his hair getting pulled backwards. He let out small moans and muffled whimpers, his eyes squeezed tight as the sensations raced through his veins, his fingers twitching and toes curling.
He looked back at his brother, who was finally pulling his fingers out. Light’s hand left his hair, making his head flop against the bed. L panted, his thighs crushed underneath Light straddling them to keep him pinned. Light squeezed lube onto his hand from the tube he got from god knows where.
The slick sounds of Light lubing up his cock was shiver inducing, L not needing to take a peek to see what size Light was. He’d seen it at the pools in the change room on the ship, being around the same size as L at the time.
He felt it press uncovered against his hole, Light breathing heavily above him. His brother seemed to be debating something, L’s own mind too fuzzy to keep up with the events. Light decided as he pushed forward slowly, sinking into L’s ass.
He gritted his teeth, a strained sound coming from him as Light eased his way inside. Light held the back of his neck to keep L from using his free arm as leverage to escape. His breathing hitched, L’s eyes getting a bit teary at the sting of Light settling inside him.
That felt a lot bigger than it looked, but he supposed that was because he hadn’t done this in a long time. By no means were they small, but that made him more breathless than it should.
His skin was sweaty and flushed, his face already having been pink before from the intoxication. L felt animalistic at the moment, like he was merely fighting something that would’ve happened anyway. Like this wasn’t rape, a submission that was never meant to be his brothers taken anyway.
It didn’t really feel like that to L, but it was what he would classify it as later.
He wouldn’t turn Light in anyway.
The man grinding his hips into him, moving his hands to L’s hips to raise them up, knew that too. Warm and pliant, is what the alcohol made him. Moaning into the fabric against his face, L let Light raise his hips until his back was arched. The little bugger was no longer shorter than him, getting to the same height.
L’s noises got louder and constant when Light started to thrust deep and slow, rolling his hips on each one. His jaw was slack, his eyes dilated and unfocused while Light fucked him. His thrusts got faster, building up until the squelches were replaced with wet smacks.
He was punching little wails and gasps from L, his brother kissing up along his neck messily, both of them overcome with the feelings of connecting. The fervor in Light's movements pulled whimpers and soft cries from his lips, Light drinking up every sound with precise hits and wet sucks.
He wasn’t missing L’s prostate, abusing that poor spot in favor of hearing L cry out for him. The room felt small, compressed to just their- L’s bed, hot and a constant stream of sounds. He didn’t want it to end, he just wanted to continue to drive into L.
L’s noises were reaching a higher pitch, back arching and hips squirming as he felt heat coil in his stomach near his neglected cock. Light’s movements were getting erratic, chasing his end meanly, unable to see the tears rolling down L’s cheeks.
It felt too good, too good for Light to be the one behind him. It hadn’t felt the same in junior year of high school when L turned sixteen and tested things out.
This was everything it should not be, he should not enjoy that Light had eagerly lapped up his blood, nor the way it felt knowing Light was going to fill him up and stake his claim inside him, the same way L had when he forced his flesh into Lights stomach-
He came with a shrill cry, his eyes rolling back while his body spasmed. Unsure of whether to tighten up or relax, all his muscles tensed, L’s back hurting with the arch. Light swore, whimpering into his neck as he rutted against L’s ass, filling him up.
The hot lava in his stomach made his insides warm and gooey, his body feeling as if it was floating as his brother slumped against him. Lights seed inside his body, pumped so deep, felt like that too.
He shivered pleasantly at the fuzzy feeling, clarity still far away from his mind as Light pulled them to lay on the side. It was easy to lay on his right side now, with no arm to block it anymore. Instead, Light's arms wrapped around his waist kept it from being a perfect rest.
His softening cock nestled deep inside L remained, feeling seed leak slightly around the intrusion. Light nuzzled his head against L’s shoulder, kissing the back of what once supported an arm.
In any other scenario it would’ve been a tender act of love, but Light's love was twisted and crooked. The kind of love he was never meant to have for L. L huffed, shimming out of Lights hold, but this time he let him. Light sat up with L, who had sobered up a bit, but was still tipsy.
L’s face didn’t go down from pinkness, rubbing the drool of his chin. Light smiled, soft and happy, curling himself possessively over his brother.
L let him for a couple of more minutes, before whining. “Light. I want to shower.”
His brother hummed, Light guiding L off the bed with him. His knees almost buckled, but he kept them straight while his thighs trembled. L walked with him, looking over at Light's happy face. He rolled his eyes, the hand wrapped around his waist keeping them close.
Light eyed the semen leaking out of L’s swollen hole, coating his bruised thighs in white creaminess. L swatted at his face, a scowl on his flushed features. Light snickered, leaning over to lick a stripe up L’s neck.
He earned a surprised noise, L huffing afterwards. His brother left him to stand awkwardly while he went to fill the tub up with water. Light raised an eyebrow at him when he continued to do nothing.
“Go shower, idiot.” Light was just getting the bath ready, the actual shower a couple feet away in the corner. He turned around and swayed slightly in his walk, dumbly having forgotten he couldn’t just go in the water. Light would never allow that. His brother rolled his eyes, moving to hurry him along while the tub in the water ran.
He turned the water on immediately, hissing as cold water hit him. Light snickered at his misfortune, grabbing the soap as L stood in the warming spray. Light wet the cloth, lathering it up on a soft wash rag that had been hung up.
He scrubbed his belly, a little bit of L’s own come having splattered there. Light kneeled down, washing L’s thighs gently, rubbing the rag on the bruised skin along his hips and inner thighs. Light turned L around, rinsing the rag under the shower for a moment and getting more soap.
He got L to widen his stance, using the warm cloth to wipe the remaining seed off L’s sensitive hole. It was still leaking, so he carefully sunk a finger into him.
L made a confused sound, shifting in discomfort as Light gently cleaned him out. He curled his fingers to tease him, a small moan leaving his brother. After using water to spray at his hole, earning an indignant noise from L, he was clean. Light rinsed the rag again, soaping it up to scrub L’s armpit before moving to the soft, sensitive skin of L’s healed injury.
He leaned down, kissing each individual, visual ridge of L’s ribcage. Until his lips reached the sewed up skin of his shoulder. L sighed, leaning onto him under the warm spray. All the soap on his body had washed off by now, Light eventually nudging him towards the tub.
Light turned the water off, which by now filled it up nearly to the top. L sank down into the steamy area.
Light spent three minutes at most cleaning himself, rushing so he could go over to L. When he was done, he stepped into the water that reached their shoulders when they sat down. His brother crawled over, slotting himself behind L, rubbing his shoulders. That made him sag against Light, his head lolling back against his shoulder in the nearly too hot water.
Light enjoyed how it made L pink all over, his pale skin reacting to the heat. Light wrapped himself tightly around L, his knees resting on the sides of him, his arms wrapped around his waist.
He couldn’t find it in himself to resent what Light had done to him, but he could hate him for it. Yes, they hated each other in a way that made them want to consume the other in every way possible.
And for the other to consume them as well.
L hated what happened to him, and he could hate Light for it. The pleasure only came after he gave into the fact that he had lost, that he had fallen into Lights trap. He would’ve much preferred if he had been the one to eat Light. The monster took a chunk out of him and savored his loss.
Light wouldn’t be so lucky next time, and L planned to be mean.