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In literally any other circumstances, waking up naked in the arms of the hottest man in the world would be a cause for celebration.
Jiang Cheng should be jumping for joy.
Right?
Right???
WRONG!
Because Jiang Cheng’s life is nothing but a series of unfortunate events that's been compiled together specifically by fate to fuck with him.
He wished that he could pin all the blame on the moment his chaotic brother was adopted, but alas, it went beyond that deep to his roots…
So here's the deal:
On the first Saturday of every month, Jiang Cheng finds himself turned into a cat for a full day.
(Not a Werecat, Wei Wuxian, we’re Shifters!)
But he's not just any street cat, okay?
He was an elegant gray cat with plush fur, if he does say so himself.
Apparently, it's genetic.
His family, apart from Wei Wuxian, shares the same abilities.
Jiang Cheng doesn't want to think too much into what exactly his ancestors did with cats to result in this phenomena. He was only told by his parents that it was top notch secret and only immediate family members are in the know.
So you can imagine the inconvenience this would bring to his life, and how much glee this grants to one Wei Wuxian…
***
6 Months Ago...
Wei Wuxian gasped loudly at his phone, to which Jiang Cheng barely twitched his tail at.
His adopted brother gasps at many things, ranging from ‘Emperor’s smile isn't the best alcohol’ to ‘Lan Wangji showed an ounce of emotion’.
“Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng! Can you believe that Lan Zhan said that 100 men will win against 20 bears? Is he out of his mind! Has he ever met a bear! Does he truly believe that 5 men can fight off 1 bear???” Wei Wuxian rattled off hotly.
Jiang Cheng gave a dismissive grunt which he hoped would be interpreted as, “I don't give a fuck.”
“Exactly! You get me!” The menace exclaimed before scooping him into his arms with a squark. “This cannot stand! We must go and have a word with him.”
What the fuck has this got to do with me???
Jiang Cheng hissed and tried to dig his blunt claws into his brother's arm.
Nonetheless, Wei Wuxian wouldn't be who he is today if he didn't live to drive his brother to madness.
So he carried a protesting cat over to Lan Wangji’s room a few doors down from theirs.
Knock knock knock!
The door opened to reveal.. Not Lan Wangji.
“Hello, Xichen-ge!” Wei Wuxian greeted cheerily.
“Hello, Wei Wuxian,” Their university's star pupil returned with a smile. “Are you here for Wangji? He just went for a shower.”
His brother nodded seriously.
“Oh yes! I have something very important to discuss with him!”
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.
“Please, come in,” Lan Xichen made way for him.
He looked around the door before closing it, turning around to face his guest.
“Where’s– Oh, who's this cutie here? I didn't know you had a cat.”
Oh god.
Jiang Cheng turned to hide his face in Wei Wuxian's chest.
Just kill me now!
“Oh, he isn't mine, I'm just catsitting. His name?” Wei Wuxian's smile turned sly.
“It's Sweetheart McFluffkins.”
Wei Wuxian, you are dead to me!
Jiang Cheng immediately reached for his neck with extended claws and a snarl.
“AAAAAHHHH! Save me, Xichen-ge!” His brother cried as he shoved the cat into the other man's arms.
Lan Xichen instinctively cradled the creature and gave him placating head pets that successfully calmed Jiang Cheng down to a low growl.
Just then, a towel-cladded Lan Wangji rushed out from the toilet with a, “What's wrong?”.
Both him and Wei Wuxian froze when their eyes met.
“Ah, Wangji, nothing’s wrong. Just a little disagreement between Wei Wuxian and the cat he's catsitting, right?” Lan Xichen coaxed while bouncing said cat.
‘No, I want to break his legs!’ Jiang Cheng expressed with an angry meow.
It was then Lan Wangji broke eye contact with his brother and noticed his presence. He gave a short nod before retreating back to the bathroom with reddened ear tips.
Wei Wuxian’s gaze did not for once leave that man's ass.
Jiang Cheng wanted to strangle him again.
His idiot brother finally blinked himself out of his stupor and turned towards the older man.
“Xichen-ge, how about you take Fluffkins here to your room first and let him calm down while I wait for Lan Zhan to be done.”
“Ah, alright then.”
The ever amicable man agreed as he carried the furry bundle into his room.
Jiang Cheng was settled down onto the floor and he abruptly realised that he was in Lan Xichen’s room for the first time.
He'd never actually interacted much with the other man much except for those times they met each other with their brothers.
Even though their university dorm rooms are close by, Jiang Cheng is a freshman whilst Lan Xichen is in his last year, so their paths rarely cross.
Nonetheless, he'll like to think they share a strong sense of camaraderie whenever their two brothers are engaged in their strange courting rituals.
Like now, Jiang Cheng is once again spared as the most unwilling third wheel ever by the safety of this room.
He sighed and plopped down at the door.
Lan Xichen chuckled at the cat’s very humane sitting posture coupled with its grumpy expression.
“Don't you want to explore the place?” He asked.
Jiang Cheng blinked at him.
Righhhhhtttt. That's a thing normal cats do, right?
With a reluctant huff, he set out on his paws to.. what, sniff at random corners of the room?
He can't believe he has to keep up with this act just because Wei Wuxian brought him along for no goddamn reason but to annoy him!
Okay, fine, he guessed that sounds like a good enough reason for his brother to do anything.
“What's wrong, Sweetheart?”
Jiang Cheng jolted at the sudden term of endearment and thanked the stars that cats cannot blush.
He realised he's been growling at a dustbin for the past few minutes while thinking about Wei Wuxian.
Giving him such a stupid name? Was he asking for a death wish!
He shook his head clear of those thoughts. What's done’s done. He'll just have to never show his face in front of Lan Xichen ever again.
Speaking of which.. the man in mention was still watching him with an encouraging smile.
Jiang Cheng took the chance to hop onto his desk and see what the school's valedictorian keeps there.
Textbooks, stationery and some photos… huh, Lan Wangji truly never smiled in his entire life.
The only picture he actually smiled in was when he was a kid in some lady's lap, while a young Lan Xichen sat in another man's lap.
“Those are my parents.” The man himself reached out to caress the photo the cat was eyeing.
“It's their death anniversary today…”
Oh, fuck, Jiang Cheng thought.
Wait, was that why Wei Wuxian brought him along? As some kind of.. distraction?
Well, the best he could do now was to put a paw onto the hand still on the photoframe with a solemn, “Mrow.”
My condolences, he tried to express.
Unfortunately, Lan Xichen took that as permission to grab him by the armpits and drop aggressive kisses onto his furry forehead.
“Muack, muack, muack! Aiyo, Sweetheart, you’re too cute!!!” He cooed in a baby voice.
Jiang Cheng was too stunned by the sudden change in mood to react.
He started to squirm in his grip but the other man cradled him close to his chest instead.
And man was this guy strong.
He could feel Lan Xichen drop his lips to the top of his head, releasing a shaky breath.
“I miss them..”
Jiang Cheng froze in his arms.
What was he supposed to do now?
He would escape but he thinks that the other man is one cat less away from breaking down.
He abruptly remembered reading that cat purrs have a soothing ability.
With the gentle fingers scratching behind his ears, it wasn't too hard to start a low purr.
Just for today, Jiang Cheng affirms.
***
It was not just for that day.
Wei Wuxian got into the habit of bringing Jiang Cheng along to the Lan brothers’ room in his cat form.
He suspects it's to ensure Lan Xichen is sufficiently distracted so he wouldn't be a shining light bulb.
Well, jokes on him, because Jiang Cheng actually gets a nice massage out of it all!
Unlike Wei Wuxian, who likes to pinch his cheeks and strokes his fur against the direction of growth, Lan Xichen’s dexterous fingers hit all the good spots when he's petting him.
The thing about being a cat was that there wasn't much to do.
He couldn't study, cook nor surf the net. He was banned from going outdoors after an unfortunate case of the fleas. As a result, he's trapped at home and subjected to whatever trashy drama his brother would watch on the television.
So it wasn't exactly terrible to be brought over to be Lan Xichen's emotional support animal for the day.
Like fine, so what if Jiang Cheng admits that the guy was a sight for sore eyes, and he doesn't really mind listening to him read aloud his history books in that smooth baritone of his. Especially when he plays the xiao in a soothing tune that could put anyone at peace.
Occasionally, he gets to see a side of Lan Xichen he's sure nobody else does.
Like when he actually gets worked up over the Chinese chess game he plays on his phone, and the occasional rock music he actually headbangs to.
It made the other man look more human instead of the untouchable study god everyone had regarded him as.
Jiang Cheng had even met Lan Xichen a few times out of his cat form during his weekend morning jog.
Although he had felt the urge to bolt, all the other man had to do was smile at him to guilt-trip him into some small talk.
He was surprised to find himself being coaxed into longer conversations.
What started from commiserating over their shared exasperation of how their brothers were acting with each other flowed smoothly beyond that, and was even extended to breakfast invitations.
Usually, Jiang Cheng cherished his alone time with the likes of chaos reincarnate Wei Wuxian in his life, but something about Lan Xichen brought about a sense of familiar calm.
There's no forced conversations and sometimes they even simply shared comfortable silences.
He supposed it helps that the other man was a good listener and seemed to find his deadpan humor funny.
And so he agreed.
With weekly jogs and breakfasts extending into steady text messages, Jiang Cheng would even consider Lan Xichen his friend.
The first person who seemed to enjoy spending time with him more than Wei Wuxian.
Until recently.. Lan Xichen had been acting rather suspicious.
He had jumped out of his seat and stuffed something into the drawer when Jiang Cheng strolled into his bedroom as a cat himself since Wei Wuxian was busy making eyes at Lan Wangji.
“Hello, Sweetheart~” He chirped as he approached the cat with outstretched hands.
Jiang Cheng would usually dart away, but he's feeling a little lazy today so he allowed himself to be picked up.
Eager fingers scratched his head, then attempted to do the same to his fluffy cheeks, to which Jiang Cheng gave a warning bite.
“My apologies, you are just too cute, Sweetheart,” Lan Xichen retracted his finger with a chuckle. “You remind me so much of a certain someone..”
Jiang Cheng gave him an inquisitive side eye.
Who could he have reminded him of?
“Don't worry, it's someone I admire very much, so it's not a bad thing.”
Someone Lan Xichen admires very much?
Like.. a crush?
Not sure what to do with this information and an increasing heart rate, Jiang Cheng squirmed out of his arms to paw at the flute case lying against the wall.
“Alright, alright,” He obliged with an indulgent smile and pulled out the instrument to play.
Jiang Cheng loafed at his usual spot on the bed and closed his eyes, letting the tranquil notes wash over him.
It's been a long month with stressful finals that demanded a well-needed music session to soothe his frazzled nerves.
After an hour of practice, Lan Xichen excused himself to the bathroom.
There's when Jiang Cheng's eyes snapped open to the enticing drawer.
He wasn't usually a snoop, that was more up Wei Wuxian’s alley, but there's a certain thrill in knowing about Lan Xichen more than everyone does.
And you know what they say all that about cats and curiosity.
In a split second of decision, he slinked over to the drawer and expertly used his claws to pull it open.
He was instantly met with a laminated photograph of.. Wei Wuxian.
Why on earth was Lan Xichen looking at his picture so sneakily?
The words, “He's someone I admire very much.” rang through Jiang Cheng's mind.
He felt his stomach drop.
He knows, really, how no one is immune to his brother's charm.
Not his father. Not Lan Wangji.
And now not even Lan Xichen.
Jiang Cheng's insides churned in familiar envy.
Although, who could blame them?
He wouldn't admit it out loud at gunpoint, but Wei Wuxian's cheeky demeanor merely hides a heart of gold.
Jiang Cheng might have resented him for the attention once, but it's hard to continue hating someone who would readily sacrifice their life for you.
Eventually, he had come to terms with it. He’ll always be second place and second choice to some people, and that's alright.
Because the people who truly matters, like Jie Jie, and maybe sometimes Wei Wuxian, puts him first, so it's fine.
But times like this, he's once again sorely reminded of his inadequacies in comparison to his brother.
Like sure, Jiang Cheng was also in the photo at the back, strangling his brother by the neck with a furious expression, but obviously a beautifully laughing Wei Wuxian was what would stir Lan Xichen's heart.
Jiang Cheng felt a pang of sadness at that.
Not that he wished it was him or anything!
Lan Xichen was just his fellow brother sufferer, jogging buddy, music player and the occasional scratch-giver, that's all.
He's probably just feeling bad for his friend.
All those times watching Wei Wuxian flirt with Lan Wangji.. poor Xichen had to take it all in stride while yearning from afar.
He heard footsteps outside the door and quickly closed the drawer, licking his paw nonchalantly.
Lan Xichen entered the room and smiled upon seeing the cat by his desk.
“Sweetheart~” He called sweetly.
Jiang Cheng ignored him, suddenly feeling sullen for no reason.
He felt himself being lifted up by the armpits and struggled in the man’s grasp, growling.
Thankfully, Lan Xichen got the hint and released him.
Jiang Cheng immediately went to the corner of the room to sulk while facing the door, ignoring the fact that he's literally being an epitome of the ‘No talk, me angy’ meme.
“What's wrong, Sweetheart?” The concerned voice came from behind.
Jiang Cheng grumbled unintelligibly.
He didn't know why, he was just not in the mood for anything right now.
Nonetheless, his ears still twitched when he heard the crinkling of plastic. There was a sound of tearing and the smell of fish wafted through the air.
Damn it! Was Lan Xichen trying to cajole him with his favourite treat?
Jiang Cheng turned his nose up at his lowly methods.
He will not be so easily bribed!
Just then, his stomach let out a loud grumble.
He belatedly remembered that his last meal was hours ago.
The fishy scent tickled his nose in temptation and incited further gurgling from his gut.
Argh!
Ultimately, it didn't make sense for Jiang Cheng to starve himself when he's feeling like shit!
He deserves that treat!
Keeping his head held high, he turned around and trotted towards the fish jerky stick held out by an outstretched hand.
He tried to snatch it away but the other man held on tight.
He was tempted to nip at the other's fingers but that might deter future treats, so with an annoyed huff, he resigned to chewing it at that spot.
He adamantly ignored Lan Xichen's smile and the fingers scratching his head, focused solely on his mission.
Fuck, was this fish jerky super tough to bite!
But the burst of flavour from each lick was irresistible. Pet food was usually bland for health reasons, but this treat was an exception.
Eventually, his shoulders relaxed as he let the placating pets and tasty treat soothe his nerves.
He licked his lips as he finished the last of the jerky.
Lan Xichen then scooped him up into his arms like a baby. The cat squirmed and refused to meet his eyes.
“What's wrong, Sweetheart, are you mad at me?” The man asked with a grievous pout.
Jiang Cheng grunted, not really sure if the answer was a yes or a no.
“I’m sorry if I did anything to offend you,” Lan Xichen apologised so earnestly one would forget he was actually talking to a cat.
He started peppering kisses onto the top of Jiang Cheng's head, who only protested slightly.
“Muack, Muack, Muack! Don't worry, Sweetheart, no matter what you do, you will always be my favourite kitty,” The ridiculous man promised.
Jiang Cheng's heart gave a weak squeeze as he finally fell limp in the other man's grip.
…So what if Lan Xichen likes Wei Wuxian?
His brother will never be pampered like this! Jiang Cheng's the one who's getting fed and cuddled on a monthly basis!
Satisfied with that conclusion, he snuggled close and felt his eyelids drooping..
It's been 6 months since they've started this arrangement, so you can't really blame Jiang Cheng for getting careless.
He had apparently gotten too comfortable in Lan Xichen's arms and fell into a deep slumber, probably paying back all the sleep debts from finals week.
Usually, it wouldn't be a problem.
The Lan’s infamous 9pm bedtime ensured that any guests would be kicked out before then.
Alas, Jiang Cheng was too confident in Lan Wangji's resistance to Wei Wuxian's terrible idea of flirting.
Something must have happened for his brother to make such a huge mistake as to leave Jiang Cheng in Lan Xichen's room overnight!
The problem was that Jiang Cheng is basically fucking Cinderella in cat form - The moment the clock strikes midnight, he'll shift back into a human.
And so that was how he'd ended up waking up the next morning in Lan Xichen's warm embrace, sharing a blanket and naked as the day he was born.
Jiang Cheng froze like a deer in headlights.
Unfortunately before he could shift back into his cat form, the other man's eyelids fluttered open.
Their eyes met.
His heart stopped.
He didn't even dare to breathe.
He was weighing the consequences of admitting being Sweetheart Mcfluffkins against simply being a pervert who sleeps naked in other people’s beds.
Or would it be believable if he sleepwalked all the way over here?
But before he could say anything, Lan Xichen gave him a sleepy smile and leaned in close.
He then planted a chaste kiss on Jiang Cheng's lips.
“?!?!?!”
Jiang Cheng jerked backwards in shock, hand coming up to cover his mouth.
“Y-You–!”
Lan Xichen's eyes instantly widened.
“Jiang Cheng? You are– here?” He asked in confusion.
Jiang Cheng glanced to the side, not having decided on the explanation he would give.
But who gives a fuck about that!
The more important question here was:
“You– why did you just kiss me?” He demanded.
Lan Xichen’s cheeks flushed and he ducked his head
“I.. I apologise, I-I thought I was asleep and still dreaming..” He explained meekly.
“Wait,” Jiang Cheng's brows furrowed in thought, “What– you meant you'll kiss me in your dreams?”
Lan Xichen bit his lip, face turning even more red, if possible.
“I’m sorry, I know that it's improper, but.. it's hard to control one's feelings while dreaming.”
Feelings???
Jiang Cheng felt his heart stutter and jaws drop.
What the hell was he talking about?
“B-But you like Wei Wuxian!” He blurted out.
Lan Xichen’s brows jumped and he hurriedly shook his head.
“Jiang Cheng, I assure you, I have no such inclinations! I'm not sure what gave you that impression but I swear, you're the only one I have in my heart!”
This time, Jiang Cheng was the one to feel his face burn.
Against his will, a burst of happiness sprang from his chest.
At this point, he couldn't really deny that he actually likes the other man.
Who wouldn't?
Lan Xichen was a walking wet dream, and seeing his dorky and vulnerable side only made Jiang Cheng fall harder.
But he didn't want to be one of the 500 schoolmates with an unrequited crush on the valedictorian.
So he had tried to tamper down those feelings, only allowing himself to bask in Lan Xichen's affections as a cat.
After all, since that man could ask anyone on the street to marry him and they'll agree, why would he ever pick a reticent and grumpy Jiang Cheng?
Lan Xichen saw the doubt in the other man's eyes.
“I know this might seem a bit sudden. I wanted to wait for Wangji to succeed before making a move.. but I've been noticing you for a while, Jiang Cheng,” He confessed softly, “I really admire the passionate drive in everything you do, and the fierce love you have for the people around you.”
Jiang Cheng blinked.
'Fierce love you have for the people around you.'
He thought back to that hidden photo of him strangling Wei Wuxian.
Everything sounded like a fever dream, could it be true?
He peeked at the other's earnest expression and already knew deep in his heart that Lans do not lie.
You've got to be fucking kidding me! Who the hell keeps a picture like that of your crush???
Jiang Cheng groaned and covered his face.
He could hear the blood rushing to his ears.
“Ah, I understand if you don't return my feelings..” He hears Lan Xichen backtrack weakly, “I apologise if I've made you uncomfortab–”
“--Stop.”
The other man’s jaw snapped shut.
Jiang Cheng couldn't let him continue down that path, because it's simply not true.
He doesn't let any Tom, Dick or Harry pet his cat form like that.
And now it seems that the feelings are mutual.
But so what?
What happens if somewhere down the line, Lan Xichen finds out about Jiang Cheng's special abilities and changes his mind?
To let Jiang Cheng have a taste of affection and then pull the rug from under him would be a more cruel fate than outright rejection from the start.
For things to ever work out in between them, Lan Xichen has to know and not mind that–
“-I'm Sweetheart,” Jiang Cheng blurted out, putting his hands down from his face to gauge the other's reaction.
“You are.. a sweetheart? Er, yes, to me?” Lan Xichen agreed albeit confusedly.
Jiang Cheng made an impatient noise through his nose.
“No! I meant– I'm the cat, Sweetheart,” He huffed, “I'm a Shifter, I can shift into a cat.”
He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the crazy accusations.
Lan Xichen’s mouth formed into an ‘o’.
“That explains why you're here..”
Jiang Cheng gave a stiff nod.
Then, the other man winced.
“I'm sorry for forcing all those kisses on you.”
“‘s fine..” Jiang Cheng coughed.
They continue looking at each other.
“That's all you have to say?” he prompted skeptically.
“I mean, it's not an issue for me, if that's what you're asking,” Lan Xichen assured, “Unless.. you have a problem with that?”
“Why would I have a problem with what I am?” Jiang Cheng asked incredulously, “I'm just surprised that you're taking this matter so well!”
“Ah..” Lan Xichen rubbed the back of his neck.
“I guess.. this would be a good time to tell you that I'm a Shifter as well.”
Jiang Cheng's jaw dropped.
Never in a million years would he have seen this coming!!!
Were Shifters this common?
He’s starting to question the world around him.
“Fuck, really??? What kind?” He had to ask.
Lan Xichen flashed him a playful smile.
“Would it be better if I showed you?”
Jiang Cheng nodded eagerly.
He had never met another Shifter apart from his family before!
The other man swiftly disappeared under the covers.
There was a rustling of cloth before a furry head popped out from the blanket, followed by a floofy body.
It was the chonkiest white rabbit he'd ever seen, almost matching the size of his cat form.
“Holy shit,” He breathed.
Long and drooping ears framed its face as its two, large eyes gazed at him with a twitching nose.
So fucking cute!!!
He hovered a hand over the plush fur.
“May I?”
The bunny answered him with a wagging tail.
Jiang Cheng resisted the urge to squeal.
He sank his fingers into the plush coat and it felt like he was touching clouds. He stroked the fur in awe.
So damn soft!!!
The rabbit hopped closer until he was snuggled up nicely onto Jiang Cheng's arm.
Then, he felt a wet lick on his nose.
..That's it, that's the last straw!
With a growl, Jiang Cheng gave into his cute aggression and rained a tirade of kisses onto the top of the bunny's head.
Muack! Muack! Muack!
See how you like that for a change!
The bunny's tail wagging intensified.
Poof!
Lan Xichen abruptly turned back into his human form, face an inch away from his.
Jiang Cheng stiffened.
“You–!” His voice was strangled, feeling his entire body burn when he realised that now they were both equally bare.
Thankfully, their only point of contact is the other man's head lying on the crook of his elbow, gazing up at him with hopeful eyes.
Jiang Cheng swallowed as the other man glanced down at his lips.
He was suddenly very aware that his (reluctant)crush had just confessed to him, exchanged secrets about being Shifters and now seemed to be inclined towards sharing a kiss.
His breath shallowed when the other man leaned closer, feeling his heart beating in his mouth.
This was it.
He was going to have his first official kiss after 19 years of his painfully single life with the world's hottest bachelor.
No force on earth can ruin this.
“--JIANG CHENG!”
Wei Wuxiang burst through their room door with a loud cry.
The two men with lips one millimeter apart simultaneously sprung backwards and turned towards the intruder.
Wei Wuxian's jaw dropped when he saw both their topless form disappearing under the shared blankets.
Then, he let out an ear-piercing shriek.
“AAAAAAAHHH!”
Jiang Cheng felt a familiar throbbing in his head.
“WEI WUXIAN!” He barked.
“What's wrong?” Lan Wangji appeared behind the heathen to peer over his shoulder at the both of them.
His widened eyes would've been comical if it weren't at their own expense.
“Lan Zhan! Your brother– he– he defiled mine!” Wei Wuxian jabbed a finger at them like a scandalised maiden.
Jiang Cheng felt all his blood vessels burst at that accusation.
“Shut the fuck up! Who's the one getting defiled here?” He snarled, eyeing the hickeys on his brother's neck and the oversized white shirt he wore that was obviously not his.
Wei Wuxian ignored him, tugging Jiang Cheng off the bed and handing him his own set of clothes.
“Lan Xichen!” The hypocrite accused, “Just because you woke up next to a naked man who.. who got drunk and lost his way and crawled into your bed, doesn't mean you have the right to take liberties with him!”
Lan Xichen raised his hands up placatingly.
“I-I didn't–” He sputtered.
“Stop it, idiot, he didn't do anything!” Jiang Cheng hissed while he threw on the given clothes in record time.
It was too embarrassing to explain whatever was happening between them instead, so he grabbed Wei Wuxian's hand and dragged him back to their own place.
The moment the entrance door was closed, Wei Wuxian threw his arms around him and wailed into his shoulder.
“Didi! I'm so sorry I forgot! I'll never forgive myself for letting your purity be taken–”
Jiang Cheng clucked his tongue impatiently as he shoved this crazy man backwards.
“-Shut up! So you did know that you’d fucked up!” He crossed his arms with a harrumph. “Luckily, Xichen was a gentleman and didn't do anything, so shut it already!”
“Didn't do anything?” Wei Wuxian repeated dubiously, thinking back to the compromising position he caught them in before breaking out into a smirk. “Or didn't do anything you didn't want to? Did I interrupt something?”
Jiang Cheng could feel his face flush incriminatingly.
“Yeah, you interrupt my will to live!” He snapped, and quickly diverted the attention back.
“And what about you?” He gave the other man an unimpressed once-over. “Still gonna say that you and Lan Wangji ‘aren’t like that’?”
It worked.
Previous topic forgotten, Wei Wuxian gave an uncharacteristically shy laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Hah, I told you!” Jiang Cheng had been waiting so long to say those words.
“You were so obsessed with him! And I told you that that guy will literally take 14 bullets for you!” He reminded hotly for all those times the other man said there was something wrong with his eyes.
The vindication was real.
Wei Wuxian blushed, which was a surprise.
He didn't know that his brother could still be self-conscious, given how shameless he acted with Lan Wangji all the time.
“He won't–” Wei Wuxian protested weakly, “He’s just.. very intense.”
His expression turned smug.
“Oh Jiang Cheng, you have no idea how intense he was last night!” He recalled with wiggling brows.
Jiang Cheng grimaced as he clapped his hands over both ears.
“Fuck off, I don't want to know!” He instantly yelled, walking away from the conversation, “Do not tell me anything. Ever.”
Wei Wuxian’s laughter followed behind him to his room.
****BONUS****
“Oh my god, is that Lan Zhan? Give it here!” Wei Wuxian squealed as he approached with grabby hands.
“Careful,” Lan Xichen reminded as the white rabbit hopped over eagerly from his arms into the other man's embrace.
“Oh my god, he's so soft!” He cooed.
Wei Wuxian immediately held the bunny up to face level and rubbed their noses together.
“Lan Zhan, how are you so cute?? I can just eat you up, omyomyom!”
He gnawed lightly on one of the rabbit's ears.
Lan Wangji remained docile in his arms.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes behind them as he pushed his brother out of the way to the door.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Lan Xichen greeted with a fond smile.
Jiang Cheng felt his cheeks bloom at the nickname.
“Ooooh, SwEeThEaRt, huh?” Wei Wuxian didn't forget to tease as he stroked the bunny's head in the right fur direction.
Hold on, so his idiot brother only stroked his fur in the wrong direction to him on purpose?
“Shut up! Go back to coddling your rabbit!” He snapped, crossing his arms.
He turned towards the man he had a date with.
“Ready to go?”
“Of course.”
Lan Xichen leaned in to give a sweet kiss to his lips.
“Urghhhh, right in front of my bunny, really?” Wei Wuxian complained from behind them.
Lan Xichen laughed, breaking their kiss.
Jiang Cheng shot a death glare at his brother.
The menace held Lan Wangji up in front like a shield.
“Then I'll be leaving my brother in your hands while I'll borrow yours for the day,” The older Lan bided them farewell.
He held out his elbow.
Jiang Cheng took it.
“Yeah, yeah, get out of here already!” Wei Wuxian shooed.
The couple set off, but not before Jiang Cheng could throw a middle finger behind him.
The affronted noise Wei Wuxian responded with was a good start to his day.
BONUS: Grumpy Cat!Jiang Cheng