Chapter Text
Liu Qingge had faced down his share of unpleasantly amorous flora and fauna. He’d made short work of scorching-gaze jade serpents, defeated full pods of maiden’s treasure squids, and had even once fallen into a patch of vines of quivering rapture and fought his way out unravished only by the skin of his teeth. But with a combination of his ability to evade his enemies’ attacks and his powerful cultivation burning through most poisons before they became deadly, none of these beasts or monsters had ever caused Liu Qingge much more trouble than an uncomfortable night or two. Because of this, Liu Qingge had never actually needed to contend with dual cultivation as a cure—or its baser cousin, sex.
In short, despite his many adventures and close encounters, Liu Qingge was still a virgin.
Now, thanks to his least favorite martial sibling, that was going to change.
“I’m not any happier about this, I assure you,” Shen Qingqiu fumed, correctly reading the look on Liu Qingge’s face.
Right, they were both miserable. Much better.
There were scant few missions that really needed the attention of two peak lords, but when they arrived, it unfortunately often made sense to send the peak lords of Qing Jing and Bai Zhan together, their skills complementary. In any other generation, this would have worked well, but he and Shen Qingqiu, in a rare display of teamwork, both tried to avoid it whenever possible. Still, a few occasionally slipped through the cracks.
Such was the case with the enormous greater bamboo-spined ox. It was tricky enough that Liu Qingge couldn’t track it alone without the sort of experience in fine-grained qi sensing that Shen Qingqiu had. They’d successfully found the thing, though, and Liu Qingge had been handling it (mostly—but he would have been fine!) when one of Shen Qingqiu’s attacks didn’t land right, lacking power on the follow-through. The monster launched a counterattack that launched him in response, and he of course landed right in a bed of poisonous flowers.
The pollen Shen Qingqiu inhaled would kill him if he didn’t get a significant yang infusion from a cultivator. Liu Qingge was the only other cultivator around.
No matter how unpleasant Liu Qingge found him, no matter that Shen Qingqiu would never do the same, Liu Qingge wouldn’t sit idle while his martial sibling died of something he could prevent.
So.
This was how Liu Qingge’s first time was going to go. With this sort of person.
This sort of person in question was rifling through a qiankun pouch in Liu Qingge’s room. After Liu Qingge finished off the beast, they’d made it back to the inn without further incident (besides an extended shouting match that did not devolve into fisticuffs, Liu Qingge could ‘restrain himself when necessary’, Zhangmen-shixiong!), but Shen Qingqiu was already looking worse for wear; he was sickly pale, and nearly flinched when Liu Qingge stepped close to him on their way in. Liu Qingge almost worried he was going to pass out, which would be… very bad, considering what they still had to do.
Shen Qingqiu suddenly tossed something at Liu Qingge, who caught it without thinking. “You’ll want to use some of that. It’ll end things more quickly.”
Liu Qingge looked down at the small bag Shen Qingqiu had tossed him and resisted choking. It was from the standard health kits disciples were instructed to take on missions: Qian Cao approved emergency aphrodisiac pills. Mild and completely harmless, the effects faded after about a shichen. Or after an orgasm.
The light bag felt very heavy in his hands. Somehow, the situation still didn’t feel real to him.
And he was facing it with Shen Qingqiu.
Was this divine punishment for having such a grudge against one of his martial siblings? It wasn’t Liu Qingge’s fault they couldn’t get along!
“Aren’t you going to take some yourself?” Liu Qingge asked. He’d thrown it over without opening it.
“Why? You want to please me?” Shen Qingqiu raised his eyebrows insinuatingly. Liu Qingge flushed and sputtered. “This isn’t for fun. You’re doing this to cure me. Just get it over with.”
Liu Qingge obediently took the medicine. Luckily, effects took hold of him almost immediately; fire raced up his spine, and his pillar obligingly rose for action. His body was filled with the strange urge to squirm, but Liu Qingge shoved it down. He looked towards his partner, uncomfortably out of his depth. “Should we… get started?” Shen Qingqiu let out a strange sound halfway between a humorless laugh and a scoff.
Instead of undressing properly, Shen Qingqiu reached under the skirts of his robes from the back, out of Liu Qingge’s view, and pulled just his trousers off. His skirts fell back into place and he looked just the same as he did before. Having apparently stripped exactly as much as he intended to, Shen Qingqiu lay back on the bed and turned his head to face the wall. Why did it feel so quick? And… anticlimactic? It’s not like he expected this to be romantic, but… Liu Qingge shook his head. This was a medical intervention. Like setting a dislocated shoulder, he just needed to pop the necessary body parts into place.
Liu Qingge awkwardly stripped himself completely and crawled in after him. Shen Qingqiu didn’t spare him a single glance. Now hovering over Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge spread Shen Qingqiu’s legs and lifted his robes. Liu Qingge’s brow furrowed. His entrance looked so small. Could he really fit inside?
Testingly, he prodded at it with a finger. It did not go in.
Thickening his face, Liu Qingge asked, “How do I get in? It doesn’t seem like anything would fit…”
“Use oil. It’ll fit.” Shen Qingqiu’s voice was clipped.
Right. Women made their own lubrication, so of course men would need to supply their own from elsewhere. Liu Qingge set Shen Qingqiu’s legs back down and hopped off the bed to try to source some oil. The position Liu Qingge had left Shen Qingqiu in had left him exposed, and once Liu Qingge left the bed, he once again tugged his skirts down to cover himself. Liu Qingge frowned. What was the point of being so shy? Not only were they both men, but Liu Qingge had already seen everything, just now. And they were about to have sex, anyways!
Liu Qingge ignored how self-conscious his own nudity was suddenly making him and bent down to search his qiankun pouch until he came up with a single vial of sword oil. It would have to do. Liu Qingge slicked up his palms and gave himself a couple strokes. He grunted in surprise at the intensity of the pleasure sparking up his spine. The aphrodisiac must be making him extra sensitive. Good; this will be over quickly.
Deeming himself adequately lubricated, Liu Qingge returned to Shen Qingqiu and hiked his legs back up. As an afterthought, he clumsily smeared Shen Qingqiu’s entrance with more oil. That should do, right? The oil was everywhere now.
Shen Qingqiu was still staring at the wall. Liu Qingge looked down at him, disconcerted. “I’ll start now,” Liu Qingge said, hoping for some reaction. Shen Qingqiu made a short noise and did not move.
No point wasting time.
Liu Qingge lined himself up, pushed forward, and… slid away. He grunted in annoyance. Don’t tell him things were too slick now! Liu Qingge used his sleeve to clean up a bit of the oil, hoping it would help. He tried again, guiding himself more firmly against the opening. It tensed against him, and he again did not enter.
“You need to relax. I can’t get in if you’re this tense.” No response came from Shen Qingqiu.
So apparently Shen Qingqiu was done helping. Fine. He’d basically said earlier that he should just use oil and stick it in. Should he… should he just try it harder? It wasn’t like Shen Qingqiu was made of glass, and he’d definitely correct Liu Qingge furiously if he got it wrong. Resolved, Liu Qingge spread Shen Qingqiu apart with one hand, lined himself up with the other, and pushed unyieldingly forward until the head at last popped in.
Shen Qingqiu inhaled sharply before his breathing evened out again, purposeful.
Liu Qingge could hardly pay attention to that. The sensation around him wasn’t like anything he’d felt before, and his hips jerked forwards without his input, sheathing him to the hilt in Shen Qingqiu. With great self-control, he held still as he prompted Shen Qingqiu through gritted teeth, “Is this fine?”
A muscle was twitching in Shen Qingqiu’s jaw, but still, he only stared to the side, eyes glazed over. Liu Qingge huffed with frustration. Fine, right, getting it over with, as Shen Qingqiu had so politely requested. As if it wouldn’t be over with faster with a little bit of help. Having more or less checked in with his dubiously involved partner, Liu Qingge could no longer stop himself from grinding into Shen Qingqiu with jerky thrusts, setting a pace that quickly turned frantic.
It felt… embarrassingly good. This was what bad sex was like? Liu Qingge finally understood why people might pay for it.
Not that he would, obviously. Unlike some people, he had self-control!
Liu Qingge could see now why Shen Qingqiu suggested using the oil. With Shen Qingqiu clinging to him so tightly, the friction was almost painful at first. As it went on, though, he noticed the glide had gotten smoother—maybe Shen Qingqiu had relaxed? Liu Qingge glanced up at Shen Qingqiu’s face again. Still glaring vacantly at the wall. Liu Qingge mentally shrugged. He cycled his qi with Shen Qingqiu’s, clearing out the poison.
In the end, it didn’t take long at all. Between Mu Qingfang’s aphrodisiac and Shen Qingqiu being—unfortunately—a feature of Liu Qingge’s earliest spring dreams, he didn’t stand a chance. Liu Qingge would have been mortified had this not been a medical intervention.
He might have been a little mortified anyways. Shen Qingqiu didn’t react even a little bit after that first push, cock staying soft and limp against his stomach.
When he pulled out, task completed, he was surprised to see blood accompany his exit.
“What…?” Liu Qingge muttered to himself. He frowned and went to feel around for what might be injured. When his fingers touched Shen Qingqiu’s entrance, however, Shen Qingqiu finally reanimated: his leg snapped out and kicked Liu Qingge clear across the room.
“I can clean myself up,” Shen Qingqiu said, voice icy. He immediately righted his robes, again, as though he had modesty to protect, and moved to leave—to his own room, presumably.
Liu Qingge stared at him dumbly from the floor. “Were you a virgin?!” he blurted.
Shen Qingqiu looked at him with the dumbfounded incredulity that that comment deserved. Of course he wasn’t a virgin, he was a brothel regular. But maybe… this was his first time being on the bottom?
Liu Qingge didn’t think men had maidenheads to pierce. …They didn’t, right? But Liu Qingge couldn’t think of what else it could be. He’d followed all of Shen Qingqiu’s instructions!
…They weren’t very detailed instructions, but if they weren’t good, Shen Qingqiu had no one to blame but himself!
He steeled himself to ask about it bluntly, but Shen Qingqiu had already swept out of the room.
Well, whatever. It’s not like he expected Shen Qingqiu would be particularly inclined to answer his questions anyways.
He gave it up as a lost cause. There was never any telling what sort of things were going through Shen Qingqiu’s mind. For lack of anything better to do, he started to clean up.
It was over with now. They could both forget about it and move on.