Chapter Text
Chapter 2 - Past: Laura Has No Idea What's Going On
They had been dating for a little over 3 months. Being with Carmilla was amazing, besides the fact that Laura was currently very worried about her girlfriend. She could tell there were things that haunted her, that she was still in pain over past trauma. She wouldn't talk about it though. In fact, she had yet to admit anything was even wrong.
And Carmilla had nightmares. Laura knew because at night Carm would squeeze her eyes shut tight, and she would wince and grip onto the sheet or the bed or Laura's yellow pillow until her knuckles turned white. She would sometimes mumble about her mother and blood and darkness. And some nights, the nights that Laura hated the most, were the ones where Carmilla would apologize, whimpered "I'm sorry"s spilling from her lips over and over again. What she was apologizing for, Laura could only guess. If it got to that, she would try to wake her up, and then Carmilla would pretend nothing had happened, and Laura would hold Carm while she trembled.
2 weeks later
Carmilla had been ignoring her all day. They usually had lunch and texted occasionally throughout the day, but at lunch Broody Girlfriend was nowhere to be seen and her texts had gone read but unanswered. The night before, Laura had tried to get Carmilla to talk about her mother, or El, or the blood coffin, or anything that might have been bothering her, but Carmilla had turned frigid and brushed her off, said she was going to bed, and moved from Laura's bed to her own.
And now Laura didn't even know where Carm was and she was very worried. Mad, but mostly worried. So instead of heading to Lafontaine's to study like she usually did on Wednesdays, she let Laf know she wouldn't be going and went straight to her dorm, too distraught for homework.
When she got to her dorm, she froze at the sight of an old and worn-looking brown teddy bear on Carmilla's bed; along with Laura's yellow pillow, a box of Laura's chocolate chip cookies, and the laptop Laura had gotten her for Christmas. She could hear the sound of the shower turned on and muffled humming, and figured Carmilla didn't know Laura would be back early.
You could say there were many things Laura was questioning at that moment. Overall it seemed like Carmilla had planned for alone time, and needed it too, though her way of going about it could use some improvement (like, maybe, actually telling her girlfriend she needs time to herself instead of ignoring her all day). Laura quickly decided she should let her be and come back later, so she sent Laf an "oops, nvm" message and headed for their dorm.
"I just wish she would talk to me," Laura was sitting beside Laf on the bed, having given up on trying to study a while ago. Lafontaine had their head in their hands and a pensive look on their face, digesting the information Laura had just given them.
"An old teddy bear?"
"Yeah."
"So, mother trauma, centuries of pain and bottling up feelings, old teddy bears, cookies and Winnie The Pooh. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lafontaine lifted their head, looking like they'd unlocked a big secret, but Laura was just very, very confused.
"Wait, Winnie The Pooh?"
"She'd kill me if she knew I told you, but one time a few weeks ago I came into your dorm and she was watching a Winnie the Pooh movie. She said she had just heard about it from some student and she was curious about that part of modern life or something, but I'm pretty sure she was lying."
Laura turned to face them fully, "Uh, do you happen to know something I don't?" Because Laura was lost.
Laf hesitated a moment, but then replied, "Do you know what age regression is?"
Laura's eyebrows furrowed, "You mean, like... daddy/babygirl stuff? Ageplay? Because I read this fanfic once and I mean, it was, uh--"
"Not really. At least I'm guessing it's not like that with Carmilla, but I can't be sure. There's ageplay, which is the sexual stuff, and then there's age regression and little space. Usually people do it to cope, or simply because it's relaxing and they enjoy it, or both. Everybody's different though."
"Okay. And you think Carmilla... regresses?"
Lafontaine shrugged, "I think so. Most likely. Maybe she does and she doesn't know there's a name for it or anything."
"So, it's not about sex, but the titles are still there... which is kind of..."
"Weird. Yeah. It's just sort of... about the caregiver role. It's not incestuous or any of that, it's just about the taking care of each other. That closer, more intimate bond that comes with the title. Two consenting mature people, no children involved, obviously. It's just going back to a stress-less and safer state of mind, with someone to care for you completely."
"It makes sense. You seem to know a lot about this. Have you ever done anything like that?"
"Well, sort of? I had a friend in high school, we never dated or anything but she regressed to cope with mental illness.She didn't have a partner so I would watch Disney movies and color with her a lot, and we would snuggle sometimes."
"Oh, okay."
"It was nice, really. Taking care of someone like that. Being trusted that much. You feel really good, like you're doing something good," Laf smiled, knowing that if they were right about Carmilla, it would definitely be an interesting adjustment for Laura, but they had a feeling Laura would end up enjoying it.
Laura nodded in acknowledgement, deep in thought. It didn't sound bad. Laura hadn't given away her childhood stuffed animals until late in high school, and she had regretted it slightly, missing the light and comforting feeling it gave her when she held them. And there was something to be said about Disney movie marathons and way they made everything a little less bleak. So she could see how it would therapeutic, but she had trouble imagining Carmilla doing these things. But that could probably be because she closed off parts of herself from everyone, like the parts of her that allowed for laughing (the non-sarcastic kind) and actually talking about her feelings. She was definitely going to research about this stuff later.
"I think, that it could be possible, Carmilla regressing."
Lafontaine nodded, "You know her better than I do. What are you going to do, if that happens to be the case?"
"Hopefully, get Carmilla to talk to me. If this is something that helps her then I want to be there for her, and take care of her. It's definitely worth a try, anyway."
"Yeah. And if you're not into it, at least she wouldn't have to tiptoe around you anymore, right?"
"Exactly!" Laura slid off the bed. She checked her phone and saw it was around the time she usually got back to her dorm. "Thanks, Laf. I should go back now."
"Alright, good luck!" Laf replied as Laura left their dorm.