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It’s funny how a problem is a problem only based on how it is perceived by someone. And how it is perceived by someone fundamentally lies on the life they’ve lived. For Jason this was nothing more than just habits and manners he’s partially self aware of. In all honesty, it does not occur to him why it would pose an issue in the first place.
As a child, Jason was heavily underfed. What with young parents who probably were a little bit too in over their heads trying to raise a child with hardly any money to put food on the plate at the end of the day. He grew up with what little he could get, seeing his father fall into a life of crime and his mother living with enough pain to turn to drugs for what relief they could muster. She could not hold a job to provide for herself let alone Jason. And by the time he was eight, he had started fending for himself by any means possible. Food meant survival and survival meant it did not need to be in the freshest condition to be rendered edible. And soon Jason’s appetite just adapted itself to the lack of it.
CPS took him away when his mother passed away, what followed through was 4 years of wandering, moving house to house, one foster family to another, he stuck around with some until they got tired of him and ran away from the others that tired him out.
In one house, he understood food came with some rules. They said behave. They said you’ve been good. They said you better keep this up. And they put food in front of him. They yelled brat. They spat and punched. They screamed at him for “disobedience”. And there would be nothing for him that night. What hunger had meant, he had known all his life but his mother never pushed him to the point of starvation. In another house, there were no rules at all it seemed, unruly kids just like him with permissive adults who were more scared of what a child could be capable of. This house broke in less than a month leaving Jason all the more confused in his understanding of food and his idea of belonging. Another house came with the icy reluctance of an institution, the out of sight out of mind of it all. Jason found himself much like the other kids in the house, forgotten and hardly an afterthought. Living in squabble much like fending for himself in the streets. Most days he managed with the meals the school would provide but other days he lived with his body light and empty, the familiarity becoming a friend over time.
The first proper meal he had in a time longer than one could comprehend? The fortunate day he got caught stealing the Batmobile’s tires and Batman took him out for hamburgers. He did not say how terribly he needed it, although he was sure he could not hide his desperation and hunger with the way he devoured the thing in less than a few minutes.
Things started to get… interesting. When he moved into the manor. He did not expect the sudden switch up in his living conditions but he also did not know how to deal with a lot of what was going on in his life. Everything started to slip out of his grasp and so he fought for control. Thus, food.
Being in the manor is uncanny to say the least. It wasn’t just all the space he seemed to have to himself but in his first few days of being there, there was no end to the exploration. It was this constant feeling of being perceived, of being seen, of being looked after that started to become the crux of his problem.
“Alfred can cook about next to anything, make sure to let him know what you like”, Bruce had told him with some concern lining his eyebrows to which Jason had just shrugged.
A few days passed with him taking the tiniest portions for grabs and Bruce and Alfred exchanging looks every single time. Then Alfred had asked if he could measure Jason for his Robin suit as it does not quite fit him and Jason obliged. But this is what started Bruce and Alfred’s concern with his weight and his size. He could have laughed at the idea of a billionaire not being able to comprehend what a lifetime of poverty does to a kid but he chose better. He did not care because it did not seem to matter.
“Master Jason, I suppose a meal plan is in order”, Alfred had said. Jason had not known what it meant but now it seemed to matter. Nothing about a meal or a plan sounded good.
“Don’t sweat yourself Alfred, I’m fine the way I am”, was all he could land on but he could feel Bruce’s gaze on him a little too longer than he would like. He just knows his words probably are not going to mean anything. Jason might be twelve but he isn’t stupid, he’s grown enough to understand when things are just not going to go his way so he decides he will work through it.
As Alfred had mentioned, he worked on a meal plan and even talked to Jason about it, asking for his input which Jason did not have a lot of.
“And this is one way we can try and do with a balanced plate, is there any kind of meat you do not like?”
Jason shrugged, “I don’t know which ones I’ve had?”
“Well, we shall see about that then, young sir. And now the part I’ve been most eager for. Any indulgences?”
Jason was confused. Food and indulgence? Food was survival. Everything about food meant if he was getting enough to live another day and there will always be more than enough in the manor so isn’t the problem solved already. He’s just doing what he knows but is he doing it wrong? “I don't understand.”
Alfred smiles at him and brings his voice to a whisper, “Master Bruce will never admit to this but he has quite a sweet tooth, especially for my chiffon cakes. And Master Richard is known to celebrate pancake day almost every other day”, Alfred leans back up, the smile intact but the voice back to normal. “What’s something Master Jason likes?”
This did not help Jason’s confusion but nothing so far had been so much of a stark reminder of how his circumstances have changed than this moment right here. Jason shook his head. “I suppose there’s nothing I like.”
Once again, the same concern lining his face as he spoke “That’s quite alright, lad. Perhaps we shall find out.”
And part of Jason did not like the sound of that.
At least with the meal plan he felt like he had satisfied Alfred and Bruce’s quest to insert themselves in his life. The execution was something but the following through it was another and Jason seemed to stick to his portion sizes despite what was put on the plate, every dinner time left more angstier than before. He can’t leave food on the plate but it made him physically sick to eat more than he needed. He did not need this. He did not want this. There were others out there who could-
Oh!
The next night, Jason asks to be excused to his room to have dinner there instead and it soon becomes a thing for every night. Every night he would take his food upstairs, empty it in a box, carry it with him to school and feed it to the stray dogs. This became routine except for the nights Bruce would insist he sit with them and he would oblige. Not so much out of pressure as much as out of gratitude for he was being able to give away so much. Those nights, the lightness and the emptiness were allowed to go away for he was becoming deserving of the food. Everything was just right, going exactly as he would like. Neither Alfred nor Bruce getting in the way. Until things started to fumble out of control.
It was a patrol night and Jason had felt it in his bones he was not quite up for it, Bruce could tell as well but Jason kept insisting. Bruce could see it in his eyes, the desperation to put on the robin suit that night but knew better than to give in. With the way Jason’s pallor was glistening with sweat and his words seemed throaty and painful as they spilled out. He was shivering but he did not seem to be running a fever and Bruce could do nothing more than send him to his room. Needless to say Jason was upset and Alfred stayed with him talking to him for hours about why this is the best decision for him and some nights Bruce will pick Jason over Robin because that's what it means to be cared for.
It seemed something had attacked Jason’s immune system because he developed a high fever overnight and Bruce came back from patrol earlier than he had ever before. Alfred had tried giving him fever reducers and some painkillers but Jason insisted he did not need them. Insisted he would not take drugs and please not to give him anything. It scared Bruce so he decided on a trip to the clinic which earned another disagreement from Jason who once again insisted he can’t do that because “its too much” and he will “be okay”. Concern does not even begin to describe what Bruce was feeling in the moment and without another word, Alfred called the clinic. This was Jason’s first and official meeting with Dr Leslie Thompson.
Jason was too fast asleep, tired out by the fever and the crying to be coherent of what was happening. All the while Bruce sat with Jason’s burning, sweaty head on his lap, running his fingers through his hair for any semblance of comfort. He could not read Leslie’s face but he could tell she had a lot to say.
“Let me preface by saying, there isn’t a lot to be concerned about. At least not the fever which seems to be his body’s response to his currently weakened immune system.”
Bruce nods, waiting for Leslie to continue.
“What is compromising the immune system is in fact more concerning, malnutrition. I would like for him to visit the clinic so we could do a full check up and understand how to work with that.”
Bruce nods again, “We’ve been concerned about this too, Jason comes from a… difficult past and seems to be finding it hard to adjust here. But Alfred tried to come up with a meal plan for Jason and-”
“I will be honest, it does not look like the kid has been eating well. Or at all for that matter.”
A solemn silence seemed to fall upon the room and in that Bruce simply held Jason tighter, now more cognizant than ever of the way he could feel his bones in some parts that just felt too wrong. “What can we do for now?”
“Antibiotics. And let him rest, wait for the fever to break. Then bring him to the clinic.”
Alfred showed her the way out, leaving Bruce alone to sit with himself and a child in deep pain who was supposed to be his responsibility. He sits and waits until Alfred comes back with the medication and somehow between the two of them, they manage to get Jason to swallow it, convincing him a good few times that it’s for his good, for him to get better. That night Bruce could not get himself to leave the kid’s side, sleeping right next to him as Jason dug deep into him for comfort.
The trip to Leslie was not quite hard, Bruce did not understand what Jason had meant by too much but promised him it was not a hospital and there will be no one, just a nice lady who is excited to meet him. Jason, again, was not entirely clueless. He could tie in the facts, he could jump around them and make them come together to reflect what was really going on and whatever was going on was not for his best. At the end he was too tired to really say anything.
“Hi young man, you seem to be doing a lot better now”, Leslie said as Jason entered her chamber, Bruce at toe. Leslie asked Bruce to wait outside as she sat with Jason and asked if he’s okay to have a little conversation.
“So, nothing to worry about this is just a routine check up.”
“I told everyone, I am doing just fine”, the first thing Jason says softly enough to be easily missed.
“And I believe you but every superhero needs their routine check ups, after all you wanna be on top of the bad guys, don't you?”
“You know?” Jason asks, his eyes big with wonder, a little red spreading across his face upon being referred to as a superhero.
“What do you think? Batman is capable but not capable enough to patch himself up everytime”, Leslie adds with a chuckle. “Now, Jason”, she pointed at the weighing machine, “Can you stand there for your height and weight for me, please.”
Jason did as asked, feeling his heart thundering in his chest. This will be over soon, then it will be back to normal. Just like he was. Nothing to worry about he kept telling himself but his body did not seem to listen. And Leslie took notice of that.
“So tell me, Jason. How has it been since you moved to the manor?”, she asked as she subtly took note of Jason’s weight and reached for the height tape.
“It’s okay”, Jason adds with a shrug.
“And are you sleeping well?”
Jason doesn’t know. “I’m sleeping the same I’ve always been.”
“I see, and how do you describe that?”
“Just.. sometimes okay, sometimes not so okay”, he said once again softly. Leslie took note.
“And food? Are you eating well?”
There was silence that seemed palpable enough. Jason bit his lip, he nodded. It wasn’t a lie, this is all he had known all his life so it is well to some extent right? “I have a meal plan”, he inserts to help himself.
Leslie smiles “so I’ve heard. How is that going?”
Jason sits back down on the seat, pouting. “It’s annoying”, throw in some truth to distance the dishonesty, Jason could do that. Leslie tries to dig further, asking Jason what had been the best out of Alfred’s dishes, is there anything he likes and what would make this better for him. All of which seemed to be easy for Jason to slide through.
Leslie nods. “How about this? We meet again in two weeks to see how you’re doing in another routine check up?”
Leslie leaves the room, telling him she needs a quick chat with Bruce meanwhile Jason was free to explore. Bruce immediately stands up on seeing Leslie asking her how that went.
“Clever kid. Really good at hiding. Reminds me of a certain someone”, Leslie said with a smile then reading her report, “25 kgs, 148 cm. This is not good. And I don’t want to freak you out but an intervention is needed.”
“Did he say something to you? Anything?”
“Like I said, he’s good at hiding. Think about patterns Bruce, mannerisms around food, how he feels about it. You said he had a difficult past?”
Bruce nods.
“Look, I’m no child psychologist, but even you can understand trauma manifests in different ways. Ideally I would like the kid to start seeing a therapist to help him through this because there’s dysfunctionalities with food and sleep and he needs help.”
Bruce’s eyebrows furrow deeper, running a hand through his hair he says “I just, I dont understand how I missed any of this and for it to sound so dire and Jason to insist he’s doing fine I mean-”
“And that’s okay Bruce, you don't know the kid quite enough and it's natural. In fact you trust the kid and there’s nothing more important than that. Give him time, but explore with him all that I talked about. It could be the change, it could be control, it could be a lot of things because there's a lot going on in the kid’s life. Just be gentle and explore. And come see me again. We will move further from there.”
The ride back is quiet, Bruce tending to the silence but waiting for an opening to strike conversation. “How are you feeling, Jlad?”
Jason hums and goes back to staring out of the window. Bruce clears his throat, “Leslie is good, right?”
“Yea, she’s nice.”
Bruce continues driving and Jason notices when the car takes a familiar turn towards the end of Crime Alley and Bruce gently hits the brake. It was in front of the same joint Batman got him a hamburger. Jason stared confused. “What are we-”
Bruce puts a finger to his lips, “I won't tell Alfred if you don't.”
Jason smiled at that and Bruce tussled his hair then got out of the car, Jason following suit. With two meals they sat back in the car and Jason stared at his hamburger for some time. Bruce observed as Jason went for some fries, slowing munching on them as he looked out of the car. Bruce took a bite of his own hamburger and commented, “It tastes the same as that night.”
Jason took a bite too and nodded.
“Jason can I ask you something-”
“No.”
“Jay-”
“I know what this is about. And I’m telling you, I am okay. I know what I’m doing, I have it under control”, Jason exclaimed, then huffed and took another small bite off of his burger.
Under control.
Bruce sighed. He allowed the silence for some time and then spoke again, “I believe you Jay, trust me I do. But you’re also my responsibility and I just want to take care of you.”
“I didn’t ask to be your burden”, Jason retorted but it was so soft Bruce could feel it genuineness rather than the expected burn of anger.
“What?”, it left before Bruce could think and he continued, “Hey look.. Jay, will you look at me?”
Jason turned his eyes at Bruce then turned away. Then slowly turned back to face Bruce.
“Jay, why would you think that?”
Jason did not say anything. Bruce leaned in running his hand through Jason’s head and landing a kiss on his forehead. “You could never be a burden, understand? Never.”
Jason’s lower lips wobbled but he quickly looked away and did not say anything, staring at his hamburger. “Can I eat this later?”
Something started turning the cogs behind Bruce’s brain. The wanting to eat alone, taking food to his room, eating the smallest portions for the longest times. So he asked, “Are you not hungry?”
“I’m..” he waited “...tired”, is what he seemed to land on.
Bruce tried something, unsure if it’s going to work. He could tell the kid was hungry, he did not want to force the kid. “Well I’m going to finish mine and you can eat with me so we get rid of the evidence before Alfred gets a whiff of it.”
Bruce took a bite and waited. Then another and Jason seemed to follow suit. Bruce could not help but smile. “Thanks, lad”
And they were on their way back to the manor in no time. The next couple days as Bruce had expected, proved to be… challenging to say the least. Jason would come back from school, claiming he’s had lunch. Alfred started asking him what he had and Jason would list out the menu and even go into details about what lacked what. Bruce started to understand what Leslie meant when she said he’s good at hiding. Bruce started to ask Jason to sit with them for dinner every night and although Jason would oblige, he would seem a lot more agitated and eat less and less. Over the week Jason went from claiming he’s just not hungry to wordlessly leaving left overs. What Alfred noticed soon after was that Jason would come back for the left overs and take them to his room. And one morning before school he decided on sorting it out with curiosity.
“Master Jason, I can’t help but notice the left overs go missing every night”, he stated as a matter of fact. Jason tried his best to remain as expressionless as possible.
“I just… don’t want it to go to waste”, he answered.
Alfred nodded, then continued, “But I don’t suppose you eat it?”
Jason was quiet for a very long time, his head jumping multiple directions trying to come up with something but failing miserably. “Please you can’t tell Bruce”, is what he lands on.
“I’m just… I don't want it to go to waste. So I feed it to the strays around during lunch. I’m sorry. You have to understand why, you have to understand that I have to do it.”
Alfred put a hand on his shoulder and caressed it with a gentleness unpalpable, “It’s okay Master Jason. Let’s talk when you're back, shall we?”
When Jason is back, he happens to be under the saving grace of Dick who happened to be swinging by the manor. But when Bruce fills him in on what’s going on with Jason, Dick decides to stay for a few nights. Bruce is never sure how Jason is going to react to Dick being around, given that they have grown a little closer to one another, Dick fully adorning his role as an older brother but they have their spats and disputes that sometimes stress Bruce quite a lot than he would like to admit.
This time however, Jason seems to be exhilarated to see Dick and seems to avoid Alfred.
“What was that about?”, Bruce later asks Alfred who only responds by saying he can’t do much now but will fill him in later.
On the other end of the room he notices Dick ruffling Jason’s hair as Jason punches at Dicks arm, both of them smiling at each other, and feels a little relieved. Bruce over hears Dick ask Jason if he wants to go grab something to eat only for Jason to tug at him and take him upstairs, going on about how he is trying to build a classic literature collection and he’s gotten his hands on some russian literary translations.
“-and Nikolai Gogol was introduced in class this week which was annoying because his is the only one I have that I did not get time to read.”
“Well working alongside the cape crusader would do that to a kid.”
Jason chuckled. Dick waited for some time but Jason seemed to be quiet, going through his books to find something so he spoke, “Seriously Littlewing, how are you?”
Jason looked at Dick with a furrowed brow and retorted softly, “I told you I’m fine.”
“And is Bruce being a jackass?”
“You mean not more than usual?”
“See you get it now, we’ve attained blood brother status.”
Jason rolled his eyes, putting his book back then taking out another, a hardcover piece of Jane Eyre. “Bruce had this and he gave it to me.”
Dick smiled at the insinuation but also the worry behind Jason’s voice as he said that.
“Well, you’re his son afterall. What’s his is yours.”
Jason seemed to look at Dick in awe momentarily but also a bit of confusion and disbelief. “What?”, Dick asked him.
“That’s not true.”
Dick laughed but then realizing Jason’s being completely serious shook his head and said “What’s not true? That you're his son?”
“I-”, Jason stopped himself, “I mean, what's his can't possibly be mine. I don't deserve it.”
Dick frowned, something deeply unsettling taking form in his chest. He is all too familiar with this, he is also not equipped enough to challenge it. But surely there’s something he can say to momentarily make Jason believe.
“Littlewing, of course you deserve it. More than anything”, Dick is sure that is not going to help one bit, “You know this is your home now right? This is not…”, Dick pauses himself wondering if it’s okay to proceed with this but does anyway, “This is not a fostering situation. Bruce has adopted you. You know that right?”
“Yes, I’m not stupid, I know that.”
“Didn’t say you were stupid just reminding you. This is what home is, this is what family is, what's his is yours”, Dick isn’t quite baffled that Bruce did not have this conversation with Jason yet given the way he had never had this conversation with Dick either. It was always Alfred who worked into being the tie in between the two and creating a sense of belonging within Dick and Jason needs the same.
“Whatever”, Jason said, putting his book back on the shelf and walking into the wardrobe, “I’m gonna change now.”
“Okay I’ll see you at dinner?”, it was posed as a question but the no response meant it doesn't matter either way. See him at dinner, Dick will.
Dick joins Bruce at the batcave who seems to be working on his phone screen, reading through something that Dick can bet has nothing to with the mission plastered on the monitor screen. “You’re right to be concerned”, Dick spoke up as he walked towards him, “I don't think he’s adjusting well. In fact I don’t think he’s fully grasped everything that led to this.”
Bruce sighed as he turned to face Dick, “I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.”
“Well I can certainly help with that.”
“Dick-”
“Look, this is a kid who went through more than any adult I have known in my life. Twice as much, is it not realistic that this is hard?”
Bruce hums. “I just want to help him.”
“I’m sure we all do.”
When it was dinner, Dick sat next to Jason and noticed Jason was still somewhat avoiding eye contact with Alfred and was oddly non-verbal. He observed how Jason seemed to play around with the food, only taking tiny bites and nibbles from the plate. The silence was overbearing and a reminder of his early days at the manor where everything still felt awkward and tense. But moreso, Jason’s mannerisms reminded him of himself, his own issues with food in the early days, his own anxieties with the sudden change in his life and the lack of control he had felt. It was so much more evident than he could have ever imagined and it started to make sense to him.
An attempt to lighten up the mood was made when Dick commented, “Somebody’s funeral, is it?”
Bruce just seemed to frown where Jason had a smile on his lips, “That would be everyday then”, he said. Dick laughed, “Well not when I’m around, how about movie night?”
“It’s a school night, Dick.”
“And Jason will be in bed before you know it. But while I’m around it's my duty to introduce Jason to taste”, Dick winked at him.
“Says the guy who hasn’t held a book in years.”
“Rude! I read”, Dick noticed as Jason took a few bites while lost in conversation and seemed to go back to playing around with the food. He understood it. The need to control, the hunger subconsciously winning through.
“Okay then, movie night calls for…..”, Dick stared at Jason expectedly. Jason shrugged. “Cmon littlewing, movie nights always call for movie snacks. Tell me what you like.”
Jason looked contemplative, biting the insides of his cheeks. “I don't want snacks, I’ll be full.”
“There’s always space for snacks”, Dick tried.
“Well then you go ahead”, Jason took another spoonful from his plate then seemed to be looking at everyone else’s plates. “I’m done.”
“Master Jason-”
“Can I go back to my room, I need to pack for tomorrow.”
The sudden dip in mood, it really bugged at Dick and part of him wanted so desperately to do something. “Hey what about movie night?”
“I guess I’m tired”, Jason said without turning around, heading up to his room.
Dick looked at Bruce who also exchanged looks with Alfred. Then the both of them looked at Alfred. “Okay what exactly is going on between you two?”, Dick pointed between Alfred and upstairs to denote Jason.
Alfred sighs. “I caught Master Jason sneaking out the left overs and confronted him. He told me not to tell anyone and that we will talk about it but it seems he’s been avoiding me-”
“What? What does he do with it?”
“He does not eat it, he said. He feeds it to the strays because in his words it can’t go to waste.”
Dick and Bruce sat agape and Dick suddenly got up from his chair, “Okay I’m doing this.”
“Dick-”
“No, Bruce, I don't know about you but I’m seeing a pattern here. know what he told me about the book you gave him, that he doesn't deserve it. He looks so small, smaller than first I saw him, when I told him he is supposed to grow into my outfit. I just-”
“And you think you can help by what, gentle confrontation as if we haven't tried that? Or force out of him what’s going on with him as if you won’t push him away-”
“This! This is your problem Bruce, you think you-”
“STOP!”, All three of them looked up at the staircase to see Jason, eyes bewildered and face torn, “How dare you?”
“Jas-”
Jason turned and ran back upstairs a final “Leave me alone”, directed at all of them and almost immediately Dick walked past Bruce to go after Jason.
“Master Richard, Maybe some time-”
“It’s okay Alfie, I know what I’m doing”, and climbed up the stairs. He stood in front of Jason’s door which was now shut and tried listening in to any sounds that could be coming from inside. After a few long deep breaths he knocked on the door.
“Lil’wing?”
He waited patiently and after counting to a minute he knocked again, “I’m coming in okay?” There was no response and Dick entered the room, dark lest the gentle moonlight coming in from the balcony. Jason was lying on the bed, turned away from the door in a fetal position. Dick closed the door behind him and went and sat next to him, gently running a hand through his hair. He felt Jason exhale deeply and sniff.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
Jason shook his head.
“Jay, just now what you saw-”
“Why would you fight over me?”
It pained Dick to hear Jason like this, so small and so seemingly tired, all his energy removed and his composure shattered.
“Because..”, Dick took another deep breath to keep his voice from trembling. “Because we are scared, Jason. We don’t know what’s happening with you and it scares us.”
Jason sat up and turned to face Dick, “I’m sorry.”
“Hey”, Dick pulled Jason gently with his arm and held him in a hug, “You shouldn’t be sorry, we’re the ones who should be sorry okay? We’re sorry.”, Dick massaged Jason’s back as he held him in a hug and felt the bones in his back rubbing through his hand, a knot tightening in his throat.
Dick could feel Jason lean further and further into the hug and then fully crushed into it as he silently sniffled into Dicks shirt.
“Can I ask you something Jay?”
“I know what you want to know”, came Jason’s muffled voice.
Dick sighs as he continues rubbing Jason’s back, “Why won’t you eat, Jason?”, the question was the gentlest one could imagine, a soft confrontation of what everyone had been worrying about this whole time. And in Dick’s voice it sounded so painfully grounded that Jason starts shaking even more. He shakes his head and after some time Dick hears a muffle.
“Hmm?”, Dick asks.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Dick nods and plants a kiss on his head, “there’s nothing wrong with you, believe me. I struggled with it too.”
Jason pulled away, running his sleeve under his nose and sniffling, looking at Dick with wide eyes under the dishevelled hair, “Really?”
“Really. It was my way of dealing with what was going on, is that how you feel?”
“I don’t know. How do you know?”
“I mean I did not understand it then, but understood a lot better when I grew up. When Bruce told me what you’re going through, I could see right away but it’s different for different people.”
Dick noticed something in Jason’s eyes, like a hopeful flicker behind and an eagerness. So Dick remained quiet waiting for Jason to speak up.
“For me”, Jason started then cleared his throat, “For me I feel really bad. When I eat. And I think about a lot of things.. Like..” he contemplates for some time looking at Dick expectantly and then continuing, “Like I don't deserve it, I haven't earned it, if I eat it I’m wasting it… y’know?”
“‘Wing”, Dick said softly, taking Jason's fidgeting hands in his own palm.
“I’m.. I know its stupid but-”
Dick shakes his head, “It’s not. It's far from stupid.”
“But food is so different here, I mean it's always there, some days I can't believe it. I never had that, y'know, I used to steal it. Beg for it. I have picked up food from the trash cans. I just don't understand. And there’s still people living like that when I’m here and-”, his voice cracks and he takes a shaky breath. Dick continues caressing his hands with his thumb.
“Can I tell you something, Jay?”
Jason nods.
“This is hard, really hard what you’re going through. You are so strong, you know that? Telling people and letting them help was the hardest for me but it’s what helped me the most. You know everyone wants to help you right?”
Jason did not say a word or move and seemed to deeply think about the question. “But I’m…”
Dick allowed silence for a good few minutes but when Jason didn't say anything he picked up, “It's okay if you’re not ready. We are here for you. For as long as it takes. We will be here and we want to help. Will you allow us?”
Jason sighed, blinking away tears in the dark. “I’m just…”, he continued, “I don't know how to.”
“Do you think I did? Not at all. None of us do. Which is why we figure it out together right?”
Jason nods. “I think so.”
“That’s all I need to hear.”
Dick continues caressing Jason’s hands and notices the firmness in Jason's grip, holding him back.
“Can you-”, Jason starts softly but then stops.
“Hmm?”
“Can you stay in my room tonight?”
Dick flashes him a million dollar grin, pulling him in another tight hug at which Jason groans but leans in anyways. “Of course my little wing.’’
Later Bruce opened the door to check on them to find Jason fast asleep with his head on Dick’s lap and Dick running his fingers through Jason’s hair. Dick taking note of Bruce gestures at him to come in. Bruce sits in front of them, running his hand through Jason’s cheek but he seemed to be in deep sleep.
“How is he?”
“He’s…”, Dick pursed his lips, figuring out how to convey without ringing alarm bells. “It will take some time but he will be okay.”
“He will be”, Bruce affirms. Then plants a kiss on both their foreheads.
“Thanks, chum.”
Dick smiled, "Haven't been called that in ages.”