Chapter Text
Tuesday - 10:35pm
*
*
*
[ Han Sooyoung has added Jung Heewon, Kim Dokja, and 7 others ]
[ Han Sooyoung has renamed the group chat to Idiots Society ]
[ Han Sooyoung has changed 9 usernames ]
*
*
*
notthemaincharacter: ???
Han Sooyoung (moderator): alright idiots. I made a group chat because professor whore said our capstone project requires “collaborative communication.”
Han Sooyoung (moderator): which means I now have to communicate with all of you against my will
paggressive: Do you mean Professor Hoare? I’m surprised he talked to you.
notthemaincharacter: first of all wtf is this name and SECOND!! is the gc title a reference to D*ad P*ets S*ciety
notthemaincharacter: HELP WHY AM I CENSORED??
Han Sooyoung (moderator): Kim Dokja obey the copyright laws please
Han Sooyoung (moderator): @paggressive he literally locked me in the room with him after class was over so I had no choice. fuckin creep. 😒
notthemaincharacter: bruh this is a GROUPCHAT
notthemaincharacter: don’t even humor her Sangah
paggressive: Oh! How’d you know it was me? Also, what is paggressive?
notthemaincharacter: you’re the only one who uses proper grammar over text and because Han Sooyoung is pea-brained, she combined passive aggressive into one word
Han Sooyoung (moderator): says the reader
notthemaincharacter: says the AUTHOR
killerqueen: um
TITSandgiggles: LMFAOOO what is even going on?
TITSandgiggles: ….
TITSandgiggles: hey.
killerqueen: how does my name make sense? I’d prefer to save lives hsy, not end them
Honeybear: wow there are a lot of people here
paggressive: Hi Hyunsung-ssi!
Honeybear: oh hello Yoo Sangah-ssi :D
Fujoluvr101: GREETINGS MY LITTLE LAMBS!!
Honeybear: Who is this?
Fujoluvr101: Student body president^^
Littlesamurai: URIEL?? HELLO???
Han Sooyoung (moderator): oh yeah I also added the interns that came from the high school
Han Sooyoung (moderator): @killerqueen obviously because it sounds cooler
notthemaincharacter: literally why
Han Sooyoung (moderator): entertainment ofc
killerqueen: oh goodness
DarkReunion: Yoooo
DarkReunion: Why does prez talk like a televangelist
paggressive: I genuinely cannot believe you know that word.
DarkReunion: My mistake. I thought you were the NICE one.
Littlesamurai: @DarkReunion BYE I can hear them coming already
DarkReunion: I don’t get it
Littlesamurai: nvm I wanna leave we are LOSING the ancient texts -_-
Littlesamurai: Kim Namwoon you dumbass
DarkReunion: WHAT THEY SAY FUCK ME FOR?
TITSandgiggles: Bro why does Jihye get a username that matches her skillset but I get this?
theythemwho: hey guys. first time in a gc, kinda nervoussss
Littlesamurai: I’M CRYING HAYOUNG IS THAT YOU??
theythemwho: this hag istg
Han Sooyoung (moderator): @TITSandgiggles um because you should just take the fucking compliment Heewon
Han Sooyoung (moderator): And besides, now is the only time I get to poke fun from behind the screen lmfao what are you guys gonna do about it? 🙄
notthemaincharacter: 10
notthemaincharacter: 9
notthemaincharacter: 8
theythemwho: wait why is he counting down like that?
notthemaincharacter: 7
notthemaincharacter: 6
Littlesamurai: heheheheh
Honeybear: uh oh
Han Sooyoung (moderator): Wait…
notthemaincharacter: 5
Han Sooyoung (moderator): FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT HIM
Han Sooyoung (moderator): DOKJA STOP IT
notthemaincharacter: 4
paggressive: Honestly, she brought this on herself.
notthemaincharacter: 3
killerqueen: @HanSooyoung do you prefer burial or cremation?
notthemaincharacter: 2
notthemaincharacter: 1
Han Sooyoung (moderator): ALL OF YOU STFU OMG
bimyself: Han Sooyoung.
Han Sooyoung (moderator): GULPS 😰
TITSandgiggles: I knew the tsundere of doom was lurking around here somewhere
[ Han Sooyoung has changed their username ]
[ Han Sooyoung has transferred GC ownership to Kim Dokja ]
God: Yoo Joonghyuk ik what you must be thinking but I’m innocent
God: IT WAS HIS IDEA I SWEAR
notthemaincharacter: BITCH???
God: Kdj do us both a favor and call off your freak of a man
Fujoluvr101: Eiheoifhwepijfepwiofjpwi;ohf;ewiohfb
paggressive: You see how she still managed to boost her own ego with that user?
paggressive: It’s unbelievable really.
notthemaincharacter: @God so he’s actually NOT my man
bimyself: change my name
bimyself: now.
God: does it LOOK like I’m your mother? ಠ_ಠ
God: I can’t just go “wow you’re so right, Yoo Joonghyuk is a fugly ass name, lemme scratch out that birth certificate real quick”
TITSandgiggles: Says God herself, apparently
theythemwho: I don’t think that’s what he meant
God: I KNOW what he meant
Honeybear: that would be pretty funny to imagine tho
killerqueen: what would?
Honeybear: Sooyoung-ssi being his mother
Honeybear: They’re kind of similar sometimes
God: WHAT
bimyself: what
killerqueen: …
paggressive: ...
Honeybear: guys?
Fujoluvr101: …
Littlesamurai: …
Honeybear: GUYS I’M SORRY T^T
DarkReunion: …
theythemwho: …
TITSandgiggles: @Honeybear you’re doing great sweetie ily
TITSandgiggles: Lets just think a little longer before we say something
notthemaincharacter: ugh don’t make me mute ya’ll
notthemaincharacter: breaking the 4th wall is MY job
God: oh please you don’t OWN the narrative. what part of NOT the main character do you NOT understand?
notthemaincharacter: hm, okay. whatever helps you sleep at night.
God: clearly you don’t <3
God: isn’t it past your bed time?
notthemaincharacter: THAT’S IT! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND I’M COMING OVER THERE
God: UM NO YOU BETTER STAY TF AWAY FROM ME
[ God is now offline ]
[ notthemaincharacter is now offline ]
theythemwho: this whole interaction is genuinely killing me
bimyself: Kim Dokja
[ notthemaincharacter is now online ]
Notthemaincharacter: yes?
Littlesamurai: homotron3000 over here really activated like a sleeper agent
Fujoluvr101: I think it’s a 6th sense atp, he didn’t even @ him
paggressive: Say what you want, but it’s quite impressive.
bimyself: change my name
Notthemaincharacter: no
Notthemaincharacter: I’m busy rn
[ notthemaincharacter is now offline ]
Littlesamurai: GASP
Littlesamurai: Apparently not homo enough
Littlesamurai: I can’t believe he said the n word to master :(
DarkReunion: I thought we weren’t allowed to say that at all
Littlesamurai: omfg HOW did you make it past middle school
theythemwho: LMFAOOOOO
Littlesamurai: No he’s retarded, seriously
DarkReunion: @bimyself
DarkReunion: CAPTAIN SHE JUST CALLED ME A FUCKING SLUR
Littlesamurai: NO I FUCKING DIDN’T
killerqueen: children, please mind your language
bimyself: both of you stop acting ridiculous
Littlesamurai: sorry
DarkReunion: sorry
TITSandgiggles: Anyways
TITSandgiggles: idk why you want your user changed yjh
bimyself: it is dumb
theythemwho: why do you type like a grumpy old man?
bimyself: literally who are you and who invited you
theythemwho: I’m set to join the fencing department with Jihye and Namwoon
theythemwho: also um GOD???
theythemwho: ...
theythemwho: and he’s ignoring me. dick.
TITSandgiggles: @bimyself I thought you play for both teams. Seolhwa help me out here??
bimyself: …
theythemwho: I don’t think this is about fencing anymore huh
killerqueen: ah Heewon-ssi I wouldn’t do this in the gc, it’s quite a touchy subject for him
TITSandgiggles: oh my bad
bimyself: I will go hunt down Kim Dokja
[ bimyself is now offline ]
paggressive: No one told him to do that btw.
Fujoluvr101: love makes fools of us all sighhhh
Littlesamurai: you’re SO right unnie
DarkReunion: wait so
DarkReunion: captain is chasing after Dokja, who is chasing after Sooyoung?
paggressive: I think I read a story like that once
Fujoluvr101: Yoohankim from ORV yes
paggressive: What?
Fujoluvr101: I mean fanfiction
Fujoluvr101: I MEAN
Fujoluvr101: what fanfiction haha ¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯
DarkReunion: I thought that crazy lady was captain’s mom not his lover
Littlesamurai: Shhhhh Namwoon you just don’t get the complexities of literature
DarkReunion: YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE SAYING THIS???
TITSandgiggles: okay lovebirds settle down
Littlesamurai: ew
DarkReunion: gross
Honeybear: I’d like to kindly remind everyone that we’ve gotten absolutely nothing done for our project
Honeybear: …
Honeybear: Guys?
Honeybear: …
Honeybear: GUYS???
[ Everyone is now offline ]