Chapter Text
“Come on, everybody! Let’s go grab some clean drugs and alcohol from the next town over!”
Mr. Stotch shouted, swaying slightly—clearly wasted—while still waving the sign endorsing Mitch Conner as mayor. The adults cheered and marched off toward their next so-called “objective.”
It was over. It was finally over.
The New Kid breathed a long, shaky sigh as the tension slowly drained from their body. It felt like they might actually cry. Their parents were okay—both alive. Their relationship even looked healthier than the broken one the New Kid remembered. And South Park would finally be free from Cartman’s terror.
Mysterion looked at them, pride obvious in his eyes. For just a moment, the hardened hero persona faded, and Kenny flashed the New Kid a soft, childlike smile.
“Great job, New Kid.”
Badump.
Huh?
Why had their heart just skipped a beat?
Why did their stomach feel all fluttery?
What the hell was happening to them right now?
“Hey, kid.” Kenny’s voice cut through the fog in their head. His blue eyes were locked onto theirs, his head tilted with quiet concern.
“You good?” he asked softly.
Weird. Why was Kenny so worried about them? And when had he gotten so close?
All the New Kid could do was nod rapidly, suddenly very aware of how close the two of them were. Their face was definitely heating up.
“Good to hear that, New Kid,” Kenny said, giving their shoulder a light pat.
The chatter of their friends faded behind them, the chaotic noise of the town slowly giving way to quiet. For a moment, it was just the two of them, standing there, letting the tension of the past hours settle.
Kenny shifted slightly, brushing his hand against the New Kid’s shoulder again. Just a whisper of contact—but it sent a jolt straight through them. Their heart was still hammering, and they were acutely aware of every breath, every glance, every tiny movement.
“You, uh… you did good,” Kenny said, his voice soft, almost hesitant. “Seriously. That was… impressive.”
The New Kid swallowed and offered a sheepish smile.
Kenny’s blue eyes crinkled in a way that made the New Kid feel as if the world had shrunk down to just the two of them. For a second, the heroic mask melted completely, leaving only Kenny
Their heart felt like it might leap out of their chest.
Then, the silence was shattered by Cartman’s yelling.
“Ah, Kyle! Knock it off!” Cartman screamed as Kyle tackled him to the ground, Kyle’s hands flailing as if trying to strangle the larger boy. The other kids circled them, shouting and cheering, egging Kyle on.
All the New Kid and Kenny could do was stare at the chaos unfolding before them, shaking their heads even as smiles spread across their faces.
Kenny glanced back at the New Kid. “Thanks, kid… for playing heroes with us. I had a really fun time with you.” He lightly punched them on the arm.
The New Kid grinned and punched Kenny back—harder this time.
“Ow, you dick!” Kenny winced, then laughed, nudging the New Kid with his shoulder.
“Will the two of you stop being gay for a second and actually help me out here!” Cartman screamed at them, clearly expecting them to jump in.
“In your dreams, fatass!” Kenny yelled, rushing over to join the tussle himself.
The New Kid let out a quiet, soundless laugh.
This town was something else, alright. They could get used to this strange, chaotic life ahead of them.
Especially if it meant spending more time with the blonde boy with blue eyes—
Wait.
What the hell was going on with them?
Their heart was racing, their stomach doing flips, and suddenly the quiet thought of Kenny wasn’t so quiet anymore.
They shook their head, as if that could settle the whirlwind inside them.
By the time they got home, the smell of dinner filled the air. Plates were steaming on the table, the house feeling like a calm little world compared to the madness outside. For the first time in what felt like forever, the New Kid and their family were actually having dinner together—no one fighting upstairs, no dad smoking in the bedroom, no mom quietly sobbing in the kitchen.
“Seems like you’re enjoying yourself here, hun,” their mother said, setting a large serving of homemade Thai food on the table with a bright smile.
“We know how hard it’s been for you to make friends with all the constant moving,” their dad said, finishing scooping food onto his wife’s and child’s plates and ruffling the New Kid’s hair, “but hopefully South Park can be a permanent home for the three of us.”
The New Kid felt a warmth settle over them that had nothing to do with the food. Finally, for the first time in ages, everything seemed okay.
The New Kid was sitting at their desk, watching a YouToob video on their computer, when a notification buzzed on their phone.
Probably another new follower on Coonstagram, they thought.
They swiped to check—and froze.
It wasn’t a follower.
It was Kenny McCormick, messaging them.
“cartman says hes sorry btw,” the message read.
A few seconds later, Kenny sent another message—a picture of a beat-up Cartman lying on the ground, flipping off the camera.
‘LMAO serves that fatass right’
“thx kenny n the others too :)”
The New Kid hit send, a small smile tugging at their lips as they leaned back in their chair.
A moment passed.
Then their phone buzzed again.
“lol why r u still up”
“its like a school night dude”
Kenny replied almost instantly. They let out a quiet chuckle at the message.
“bro ur literally up too tf”
The New Kid typed out a reply and hit send, sarcastically rolling their eyes at Kenny’s hypocrisy.
“yea thats cuz im up texting the hookers” Kenny sent, followed by a mischievous tongue-out emoji.
“and u,”he added a moment later.
“u fucker did u just put me in the same category as a hooker” The New Kid typed back, a smile creeping across their face.
“lol yea have u seen ur hero costume dude”
Kenny replied almost immediately.
The New Kid’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, heat creeping up their neck. They quickly sent a middle finger emoji.
“dick”
“my costume is fine btw ur the perverted one, asshole.”
The New Kid typed out aggressively, though in a clearly joking way. The YouToob video on their computer was long forgotten, drowned out by the rapid back-and-forth with Kenny.
It faded into the background entirely, a faint noise as the conversation with Kenny consumed all their attention.
The messages kept coming, mostly about how much fun it had been playing wizards and heroes, and the wild adventure they’d shared that day. The New Kid hadn’t expected texting Kenny this late at night to be so interesting—but they weren’t complaining.
“I cant believe u willingly agreed to be a princess, thats gay asf dude” they typed out, legs propped up on the chair as they sat cross-legged, waiting for Kenny’s reply.
“hey i look better than most of the girls in our class” came a snarky reply from Kenny. He was probably so proud of that message that the New Kid could almost picture the smug grin hiding beneath his parka.
The New Kid’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, heat creeping up their neck again.
Why were they picturing that smug look on Kenny’s face?
“yea sure whatever u say princess” they typed, smirking despite themselves.
A knock at the New Kid’s bedroom door jolted them out of their relaxed haze. The door cracked open, and their mother’s head peeked in.
“Sweety, why aren’t you sleeping yet? You have school tomorrow, remember?” she asked, her usual sweet tone carrying a faint edge of parental strictness.
The New Kid glanced at the time on their phone, suddenly aware of how late it was—and how long they’d been texting Kenny, completely losing track of time.
“Off to bed with you, hun. I won’t say it twice, alright?” their mother warned again, her sweet tone carrying just a hint of firmness.
The New Kid nodded, sliding out of the chair while quickly typing a message to Kenny: explaining that they’d be heading to bed since their mother had just come in and practically threatened them—joking, of course.
“aww alright :(”
“see u tmr new kid”
A few minutes later, Kenny’s profile went offline.
Why the “aww”? Was he actually sad that they couldn’t text anymore, or was he just messing with them?
As the New Kid lay in bed, their previous conversations with Kenny replayed in their mind—the laughs, the teasing, and the stories of their adventures.
It was surprisingly fun, experiencing a back-and-forth like this—so different from the one-sided conversations they were used to, when speaking in person often felt impossible or sometimes didn’t happen at all.
The New Kid sighed, a small smile tugging at their lips.
They turned to the window, letting their gaze drift across the stars scattered like glitter across the dark velvet of the night sky. Each distant light seemed impossibly far, yet so vivid—impossible to ignore. Their thoughts wandered with them, flitting through memories of the day: the teasing, the laughter, and the way they imagined Kenny’s grin hiding beneath that parka.
And slowly, like a tide curling around their chest, the realization crept in.
‘Fuck… do I like Kenny McCormick?’